You Bet Your Life

"What's going on down there?" Jean asked as she heard an explosion.

"I can't tell! Something's covered up all the windows!" Scott told her. "It looks like…Banana Cream Pie?"

"I'm going in!" Logan ran to the door and managed to open the door.

"Don't shut the…" Burke shouted. The door closed. "Door…"

"What in the world?" Logan started as he saw Daisy Mae take out a few robotic clowns. "Where did she get those grenades?"

"I always keep a few handy," She explained as she danced around dodging the clowns' laser fire. "YEAHOOOO!"

"Spry little thing isn't she?" Burke grumbled. He was tangled up in something and dangling off the floor.

"What the hell is this? Clowns? And is this silly string?" Logan looked at Burke.

"Apparently yes," Burke told him. "You think you could get me down from here sometime this week?"

"Oh come now," A short man with black hair and a big black mustache and black glasses appeared. "Can't you hang around some more?"

"Groucho Marx?" Logan blinked.

"That's right and this is You Bet Your Life," Groucho said. "The game of skill and knowledge where foolhardy contestants risk their lives for no apparent reason. Introduce our next contestant George."

A relatively average man in a blue business suit appeared. "Well Groucho our next contestant is Wolverine. He says he's the best at what he does."

"What's that? Make coleslaw?" Groucho quipped as Logan cut Burke loose.

"Benny put in his comedy tapes into the computer," Burke explained.

"I figured that out," Logan growled. "Now where's the flamin' door?"

"We're locked in!" Daisy Mae told him as she blasted some more clowns with a rifle.

"Where did you get that weapon?" Logan asked.

"Stashed it in my purse," Daisy Mae shouted. "DUCK!"

"No it's a pie actually," Groucho launched a pie at Burke. Logan shoved him out of the way only to get hit on the face with it.

"Thank you," Burke brushed himself off.

"Glad to be of help," Logan growled.

"Now I must remind our viewers in order for the duck to come down and give you a special prize you must say the secret word," Groucho continued. "It's a common word, one you probably use every day."

"You mean like 'disaster'?" Logan growled.

Dr. Strange appeared. "How did you get in here?" Burke gasped.

"I can teleport a little," Strange explained. "I'll get you out of here. What by the fires of Hades is going on here?"

"Your little friend was playing around in the Danger Room," Logan explained as he dodged another cream pie.

"More like Romper Room," Strange remarked. "Well at least pies aren't dangerous."

That was when he was hit in the face with a very heavy pie. "They are if you put a brick in 'em!" Groucho smiled as Strange passed out.

"Oh great he's out cold!" Logan groaned.

"BOYS! SEND IN THE CLOWNS!" Groucho called out. Suddenly the Keystone Cops appeared. "Well I was going for lawyers but close enough!"

That was when Kurt teleported in with Ororo and Peter. Scott managed to open the door and ran in with Rogue. "Oh goody more guests!" Groucho clapped joyfully.

"Don't close the…" Logan, Burke and Daisy Mae shouted. Of course the door closed. "Door…"

"Is that pie on your face?" Kurt asked.

"I don't want to talk about it," Logan growled. "DUCK!" The Keystone Cops then began to shoot lasers out of their eyes.

"No," Groucho remarked as they chased the X-Men around the room. "No duck yet."

Logan got hit in the face with another pie. "I swear Elf if you laugh…" He growled.

"I'm not laughing! Really?" Kurt chuckled.

"Can't we just shut this thing down?" Rogue asked as she bashed through a few cops.

"I'm afraid that is not possible, Rogue," Xavier told her telepathically. He glared at Benny.

"I said I was sorry! I didn't mean to pull out that wire! Honest!" Benny protested.

"To be fair it was on fire," Forge said. "My bad."

"We gotta get this room shut down now!" Scott said.

"Oh do you have to?" Groucho looked at Ororo. "Hello there! Will you marry me? How much money do you have? Answer the second question first."

"Cyclops use the cut off switch at the end of the chamber!" Ororo shoved away Groucho.

"No problem," Scott raised his visor sending his optic beams across the room. It hit the cut off switch. "Simple. Okay now let's get these people out of…"

Groucho appeared behind him. "That's cheating! Using the cut off switch! How dare you sir? I'd horsewhip you, if I had a horse!"

"This…is gonna be harder than I thought…" Scott groaned as he saw the Three Stooges appear with more clowns, preparing to attack.