~*Raining Monkeys*~
+Signs Defining Lines+
-Pancake-
Disclaimer: Same as the last. Me no own Saiyuki.
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Language, as always, and even more yaoi. Er, no mention of OC in this chapter, but she'll be in it from the next on out. Um... Probable OOCness, and... I'm really to lazy to look at my past warnings to think of any more. ^^;
Author's Notes: I am so so sooo sorry that this chapter is a week past schedule. Never again am I promising when another one will be out, but I do solemnly swear to finish this fic, since I actually have direction for it! (Yay!) Erm, thanks to all who have reviewed, you have all kept me so happy!! Once again, I'll write 'thank-you's in my live journal some time on Saturday. This chapter brings in Hakkai and Gojyo, and... the rest of my notes will be at the bottom.
Enjoy!
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"Perhaps this is my act of penitence...
The crimson color of you hair and eyes remind of the color of all the blood I have spilled.
The crimson that stains my hands is the only thing that keeps me grounded in reality,
Even as I attempt to escape the weight of my sins.
Your hair and your eyes are the only things that admonish me, Gojyo."
The kappa smirked as he felt a familiar arm snake across his shoulders, looking at the rain-distorted reflection of the man that stood next to him. "Is lunch already ready?" Though the red-head had announced two years ago to the women and other regulars of the bar that he was officially 'settling down,' his voice had yet to lose the gambler's drawl.
Hakkai's smile, still ever-present, only widened slightly. "I'm afraid not," he apologized, with a shake of his head, "It's in the oven. You just looked so thoughtful over here that I thought that I would inquire as to what was on your mind."
Gojyo gave a soft chuckle, laying his head back against the sill of the window and cutting his eyes over to the brunette. "C'mon, you should know by now who's always on my mind." He flashed his most charming smile, and left it at that.
"Ah yes, Sanzo again." The brunette kept a calm smile, though Gojyo could see, after so many years living with him, that he was holding back laughter.
The kappa played along by giving a dumbfounded look to the other, his jaw dropping down. He stayed that way until Hakkai was snickering and then, without warning, pulled the brunette into his lap. "Yup, you're right. I just can't keep my mind offa that damned Buddha-thumper." He leaned in, his arms possessively wrapped around his waist. "Can you help me remedy that?"
Hakkai batted at the head that was leaning in for his neck playfully, yet when lips connected with skin he gave a content sigh. "You're such a tease, Gojyo." He chided, yet made no move to pull away.
~'I don't have anything that's precious to me, so I wouldn't know.
What the heck is love anyway?
Not that I want it.'~
Gojyo couldn't remember when they had broken past the boundaries of 'best friends' and stepped into the newfound territory of 'lovers,' but neither of them had ever complained about the new turn of events. Well, not entirely new, seeing as how it had been going on for nearly a year and a half by then, but it always felt new, crazy as that sounded to a guy who had had a new 'partner' every night not too long ago.
"You are the doctor," he murmured against pale skin before leaning back to look up into Hakkai's steady, green gaze. "Is it deadly?" Gojyo asked, in all sobriety, as one hand lifted to sweep a few dark brown strands behind his ear.
That impossibly soft smile did not falter in the least as he gave a somber nod. "It just might be."
"Then I guess I'll just have to die young and beautiful."
Hakkai laughed at this, letting himself show one of his true smiles that he reserved for the other. His own hand lifted to Gojyo's cheek, his fingers splayed across the jagged scars. "You're not getting anywhere close to death so long as I can help it." Green eyes slid closed as he leaned in to bring his lips to Gojyo's.
Crimson eyes followed suit shortly after, tightening the arms around his waist to draw him closer. It was these surreal moments that Gojyo lived for, it was the returned love that Gojyo yearned for. From the moment he had met the brunette half-dead in the rain, he had never expected so much, yet had gotten the world.
~'But the one who wants to be saved... is me.'~
Love had left them both so jaded, and perhaps that was what left them both so vulnerable to it. Perhaps it had all started when they had found salvation in each other seven years ago, on a rainy night so much like this one promised to be, or after he had lost Houran. Either way, Gojyo had found a relationship that he hoped would last, and would do everything in his power to make it. Hakkai had said the same, 'I won't let love fail me twice,' after only their first kiss.
Hakkai pulled away then, an apologetic smile marking his features. "Lunch is going to burn, or Hakuryuu is going to eat it all if I don't get back to it."
Gojyo nodded, placing another quick, chaste kiss on his lips before releasing him. "That overgrown lizard better have left our food alone."
Hakkai laughed as he stood, finally untangling himself from the other. "Now, now, Gojyo..."
He stuck out his tongue at the other before pulling out a cigarette. "Yea, I know, he's not an overgrown lizard." The kappa gave a defeated sigh and shooed the other off to tend to their lunch. "It sure has rained a lot lately. Thank goodness we live on a hill now." Since the kitchen was adjacent to the room that Gojyo sat in he only lifted his voice a little bit.
"Mm, Sanzo must be going stir crazy by now." Hakkai agreed, followed by a few clanging of dishes that were set into the sink. "We should go visit him soon."
"I guess." Gojyo conceded, with a light shrug that Hakkai couldn't see due to the wall in between. "Though aren't you bogged down with all the cold and flu patients from the rain?"
"If I were bogged with patients would I be here cooking you lunch?" Hakkai retorted, knowing too well the other's excuses.
Gojyo scoffed in defeat, taking the last drag of his cigarette before smashing it against the pane. "I guess not."
"Mm-hm." Hakkai began to carry dishes to the table, setting a small one for Hakuryuu even. "Lunch is ready now."
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
~'I cried out to him... And he heard me...'~
If there was one thing that Sanzo hated more than the rain, it was traveling in the rain. Normally he would have refused, no questions asked, but now he was harboring a fugitive from the gods. It was a truly futile thing to do, and it wasn't as if they would wait for the rain to let up before coming after him.
Nataku had said that he would try to buy them time, but Sanzo knew that it was only a matter of time before they found them, seeing as the gods were fucking omnipotent. What then? Sure, they had defeated Homura and his crew, but only then just managed to get by. Even if they managed to defeat the first few, how many could he and the others handle? More importantly, would Goku still be able to fight as he had before everything happened?
The monk glanced over at the other, following only about half a step behind him and slightly to the side, as he was apt to do, though he seemed slightly sullen. He was normally a heavy sleeper, or at least that was what Sanzo had remembered as normal. Yet as soon as he had come within a foot or so of the bed, his eyes fluttered open.
He didn't say a word when he glanced at the other, didn't even smile, just nodded and sat up before rubbing the back of his hands over his eyes. His behavior seemed so different, so quiet and thoughtful, yet there were still traces of the old monkey; even now as he walked he had his arms crossed behind his head, as if a makeshift pillow.
Still, what the hell was he thinking last night?!
~'I couldn't save him...'~
That one, desperate attempt to cling to the moment of affection that he had shown, to make his point crystal clear. Sanzo couldn't afford to read anything more into it than that. Goku had given no confession, hadn't admitted to anything with the solid words that the monk needed; he only alluded to that deeper bond that they both knew was there, but were still so reluctant to act upon. Because they were afraid – afraid that it would tear too many walls down that had so carefully been constructed, afraid that it would leave too many weaknesses bared to others, afraid to lose each other.
At least that was the excuse that he used. He had said once that he had no weakness, and though the time had passed. Perhaps when he needed to have no weakness, he still preferred it that way. Sanzo knew too well the sting of loss, knew the scars it left behind, and he'd be damned if he left himself vulnerable to such pain again. Goku had gotten too close, impossibly close, and so that meant that it would hurt so much more.
Thus he was determined to do everything in his power to make sure that whatever happened five years ago did not happen again. He had failed Goku back then, though he had returned as promised, but he couldn't again. He couldn't subject him to another five hundred years of cold loneliness, he had no doubt that such a fate would break him the second time around, if they even granted him a second time.
Still looking at the other, he seemed to remember the look on Nataku's face when he looked down at Goku when he brought him. That emotion that flickered across his eyes then, that brief wave of utter admiration – that spark of love – though he hadn't been able to gauge how much.
~'Sometimes I wonder why I ever bothered with him...'~
"Sanzo." He knew that Goku spoke because he could feel him looking, and so he made no other move to acknowledge him, knowing that the monkey would go on when he was ready.
"I can remember it now, what happened that night..." Golden eyes lifted to catch his gaze with a look of utter conviction. "I killed them all, not because I was in that other form and couldn't help it, but because I really wanted to. I've never, at least that I remember, felt like that. I might as well have been sane."
Sanzo kept his eyes level with Goku's, even as he reached out to tug a few sodden strands from the golden gaze. He rolled his eyes before he gave a soft whack to his head, muttering a soft "idiot," in order to avoid the subject for the time being. Standing around talking wasn't going to get them to Gojyo and Hakkai's any faster, and he needed time to mull over the response he would give.
Something akin to anger sparked in his amber orbs, and before Sanzo had much time to react, he was thrown back by a punch. Violet eyes widened for the briefest of moment before they narrowed into deadly slits, a hand coming up to wipe the faint trickle of blood from the corner of his mouth. "You damned, stupid monkey," his voice held the softest of growls, the deadliest venom. "What the fuck do you think you're doing?!"
~'He was so damn noisy for one thing...~
The misplaced anger seemed too hard to speak through for a long moment as the two glared at each other through sheet after sheet of rain. Goku's fist was still clenched, as tight as his teeth, and his eyes mirrored the others; the only sign that he was about to speak was the tightening of the fist and the loosening of his jaw.
"I am not some animal that you can lead around on a leash - if I wanted that kind of treatment I would've stayed put." Rarely had Sanzo found himself on the receiving end of Goku's wrath, and it was something he had to force himself to endure. "And unlike you, I actually care about people and the blood I spill. I'm not some self-centered, bastard of a monk."
~'When I had had enough, I went over to smack him one...'~
That was one step too far, and Sanzo moved to grab the boy's shoulders and push him back against to closest solid object, a large tree along the mountain path. One hand moved then to fist into the front of the the black button-down that Sanzo had had to lend him, holding him there, while the other moved to support himself on the trunk of the tree, next to Goku's head. He leaned in intimidatingly, his face set in an angry mask, yet Goku seemed unmoved with most of the venom in his eyes gone, though he kept some just to glare at the other.
"Is that what you think, you goddamned monkey?! What the hell do you know?! You don't have a fucking clue how much I care for you, do you?" He gave a slight shake to the heretic, not even bothering with trying to be gentle. "How many people have you lost, Goku?"
He could have killed himself for asking such a stupid question, since he knew that it would have to be much more than his one after living over five hundred years. He held his ground though, his eyes burning into the other's. When Goku didn't answer for a long moment, he gave the boy another shake, his teeth grinding with a bit back growl. "How many, Goku?"
~'But then he looked up at me with that stupid look on his face...'~
Goku was able to keep his glare up for a few more moments, testing the monk's patience with his silence. The third shake seemed to knock that feigned anger from golden eyes, and they cut away from Sanzo's quickly. His fists clenched at his side, and his eyes slipped closed in the same moment, and he sighed. "I lost you once, almost twice, and that's more than enough for me."
The monkey lifted his gaze back to Sanzo's, this time expectantly. He knew it was Sanzo's move then, he had already done everything he could without fully admitting to his feelings. It was Sanzo's choice to take them as he would, it was Sanzo's choice to decide where things would go from there.
Narrowed, violet eyes softened for the briefest of moments before they hardened once again. "Goddamned, fucking chimp," he muttered, giving the boy another rough shake, except that at the end, he didn't push him back against the tree. Instead, he pulled him close enough to return the kiss he should have the night before. His one, desperate attempt to keep the other by his side.
~'I lost my will to strike.'~
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
~"But I'm not the only one with scars to heal."~
"Ah, that was great as always, Hakkai." Gojyo pushed away from the table with a content sigh, getting up and heading for the small table over to the side of the room. Liquor was always the best dessert to such a great meal.
Hakkai and Hakuryuu watched him with raised brows, and when he felt the gaze he stopped dead in his tracks. Spinning on his heels the half-breed gave them a pitiful look, hoping that Hakkai would soften. "Ah, c'mon you guys!! I haven't had any in a week. A week!! I've been a good boy."
Hakkai and Hakuryuu exchange looks for a while before they both turned back to him with a grin. "Only after you help with the dishes."
Gojyo contemplated this for a moment before he gave a sly grin. He moved behind Hakkai to reach around and grab his plate, bending so that he could catch one of the silver cuffs in his teeth. "On the condition that after I get my liquor I get you."
The man-turned-demon chuckled softly, lifting his hands in defense. "I see that I'm corned and just must agree."
"Since when did you start using sarcasm?"
Hakkai opened his mouth to reply just as a knock from the front door was heard. Gojyo and Hakkai exchanged questioning looks before Gojyo shrugged and slipped into the kitchen, leaving Hakkai to get up for the door. "Gotta do the dishes!" He called back to him.
With Hakuryuu perched on and wrapped around his shoulders, the brunette made his way through the house and to the front hall. Warily, he cracked the door open, only to meet an irate violet glare. Hakuryuu perked up, giving a pleased 'kyuu!'
"To what do we owe this pleasure, Sanzo?" Hakkai was clearly surprised, but pleasantly so, and the door was opened wide for the sodden monk.
Sanzo stepped aside, giving view to the thinned, drenched monkey behind him. Before Hakkai could say another word, Sanzo silenced him by shoving inside and dragging Goku behind him. "No one is to leave this house without my permission. No questions asked."
~"You couldn't sever this bond between us even if you tried."~
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AN(2): So, yea. The first quotes are Hakkai's from episode 15, the second is Gojyo from 15, third is Gojyo from 16, Sanzo from 26, same, Sanzo from 15 all the way to the end of the Sanzo/Goku part, and the last two are Gojyo from 15. Um, yea, just thought I'd clarify for those who might not know. I know where this is going now, so, bear with me. ^^;; Erm, I'm not too sure how I did the Gojyo/Hakkai thingy, so please tell me if there's anything I should work more on or whatever. Thank ya muches!!
*Love and Hugs*