Will Turner was happily walking down the street humming to himself when all of a sudden a blonde woman ran by him screaming. Running after her, was a rugged man with a sword. Will ran after them, hoping to save the lady (he had forgotten all about that wench Elizabeth Swann.ooh I HATE HER!!! HATE HER! HATE-oh yeah.erm..anyway.) So, brave Will Turner drew his sword and killed the man who we all knew as Aragorn. The blonde woman, who we all know as Legolas, rushed up to Will and thanked him again and again. Will then realized this was no woman. "WOAH! I thought you were a -" "Duuuude looks like a laday!" sang the decapitated head of Aragorn. "Well.yeah," agreed Will with a kick at the head, sending flying down the hill (yes, there was a hill). "Well, you can pretend I'm a lady," said Legolas flirtaciously, looking Will up and down. "Ummm." Will was getting uncomfortable. "I'd rather not. Why was the singing head guy after you?" he said, changing the subject as fast as he could. "Oh, him? Let's not talk about HIM." whispered Legolas, advancing towards Will (who was backing away). Legolas touched Will's shoulders and pulled him close. "Let's talk about US." "Ummm..okay.you're blonde, I'm brunette, THERE! We talked about us, now, I really must be go-" But that was all he could say before the Elf planted one on the human, who was squirming desperately to get out of the gay blonde's grasp. But when he turned his head from the Elf, he saw none other than Elizabeth glaring at him. Still being kissed and licked by Legolas, he tried to say, "Elizabeth I -kiss- am not -kiss- gay! It's not -lick- what it looks -kiss- like!" "Oh sure! My only love has cheated on me with a man! What does he got that I don't?" Legolas stopped kissing Will and shook his lower body to emphasize the stupidity of her question. "That came out wrong," Elizabeth said. The Elf went back to kissing Will, who was turning pale with embarrassment and terror. "FINE!" Elizabeth shrieked, running away. "WILL YOU STOP!?" Will shouted at Legolas. "You've ruined everything!" Suddenly the Elf's big blue eyes filled with tears and a pout formed on his mouth. Will's stern eyes softened. Even the most heterosexual man alive could never escape the Elf-Pout. "Oh.fine." Legolas immediately looked happier and resumed his kissing, Will groaning with misery the whole time.