"Show me. Where is eternity..."
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It was eight o'clock at night and she sat there on the floor eating chips and giggling endlessly at the Home Shopper's Channel. She rolled up the now empty bag of chips and handed it to Chu Chu who was crying due to the end of chip eating time.
"Chu Chu, could you through that away for me? Oh, please, will you. I'll make you a sweet dessert tomorrow night before bed."
"CHUUUUU!!!" he sounded before scurrying off with the trash. Himemiya turned and giggled at him, she noticed me standing there watching her.
"Oh, Miss Utena. You startled me."
"I'm sorry Anthy. I was just...I blanked out, you know."
"Oh, yes, Miss Utena. That can happen a lot. Are you tired? You should change into your pajamas" she rushed to the closest and pulled out a pair of pajamas for me. They were light blue and long like boys' pajamas. She smiled at me, with her nightgown and hair up in her nightcap; her glasses still neatly on her face. Dark smooth, skin reaching from head to toe. Big, sea green eyes pouring deeply into my soul, every time she looked at me.
"Himemiya, I...um..."
"Yes, Miss Utena."
"I...thank you for getting out my pajamas. I'll be back in a second" I stomped off to the bathroom, absorbed by my anger. How stupid could I be? Did she love me? I couldn't even be sure if she really wants to be my bride. She seems like it, but when she was engaged to him...to Touga, she just agreed to everything he said. Was she the same with me?
Once I finished changing, I walked out of the bathroom.
"Oh, Miss Utena! Would you like to see?"
"What? See what Anthy?"
She pulled off her nightcap and hundreds of deep violet locks toppled from her head. They slid down her back like waterfalls of rose scented hair. Oh, Anthy! What I wouldn't give to hold you in my arms right now. Your beautiful hair laid neatly across the bed...
"I just remembered that you've never had the chance to see my hair down yet. The new curling iron they were selling on the television reminded me about it and...oh, I'm sorry Miss Utena. I'm babbling."
"Oh, no! No. It's okay. I love the sound of your voice. It..." I clasped my hands over my mouth. What had I said?! Would she figure it out? Treat me like just another admirer? Why couldn't I just tell her how I felt? At least I wouldn't have to live like this any longer.
"It...it's just that it seemed very unusual for you to do something like that, yeah. You know" I stuttered. Sweat began to develop upon my brow and my nerves were kicking up.
"Miss Utena?"
"Yes, Anthy."
"Is there something wrong? You seem a little funny tonight" she walked over to the television and turned it off. She then sat down on the floor next to our little table and patted the space next to her. I followed and sat down.
"Utena, do you really think that?"
"Think what?"
"That my voice is that nice."
"Oh, um, yes. Yes, I do."
"Really? Thank you Utena."
"You dropped the Miss."
"You are an observant one, Utena" she smiled and knelt her head on my shoulder.
"You seem to be acting quite funny too."
"I was watching a very interesting program a few days ago while you were already asleep. It said to break away from the ordinary when the ordinary seems to lose its...what's the word...ordinary-ness?" she giggled, "And you were acting quite funny, Miss Utena, sorry, Utena, so I thought I'd try it."
"Oh. Well, Anthy. There's something that's been on my mind for quite some time now" I turned my head quickly hoping that she wouldn't catch my words. My hand lay limp on the floor, and Anthy took it in hers'.
"It's about...well, I...I...just can't say it."
"May I guess?"
"I suppose."
"Okay, but you have to tell me if I'm right."
"Okay."
"Is it about Chu Chu?"
"No."
"I put him to bed already. Um, is it about the Rose Seal?"
"No."
"Is it about a thing or a one?"
"A thing or a one?"
"Something or someone."
"Oh, a one then."
"Is it someone near or far?"
"Someone near. Someone very near to my heart, Anthy" I held her hand that was already holding mine and looked deeply into her eyes. She had to know. She just had to know!
"Is it me?"
"Yes. Yes, it is Anthy. I...I care about you very much and I was wondering if you ca..."
"Of course I do, Miss Utena."
"No! Anthy, I want YOUR answer. Not just because I say so. The truth."
"But I shall only repeat myself."
"Really, Anthy. Thank you. Thank you for caring about me."
One admittance down and one to go. I cared for her, and she for me, but did Anthy Himemiya love me? Could she love? Or would she just think of me just like all the others? Trying so to make her mine, both physically as the Rose Bride and in her heart. Just like Saionji. Would she no longer hold her pride in me as being a noble Victor? Would she assume that I was just like the others? Wanting her? Loving her? Raping her? NO! Never, my Anthy! Never would I place harm upon your fragile body. Skin, dark brown terra cotta, smooth as the softest silk spun by angels. Radiant eyes, glimmering sweet Neptune crystals of the sea. Soft lips that form the brightest smile in the world. Long flowing violet ribbons of hair down her slim back. Oh, Anthy I...I...
"I'm glad that you are the Victor of the duel. I'm glad that you have freed me from the hold of Saionji. You sometimes make me feel like I'm not even the Rose Bride anymore. Like...like I'm a princess and you're my..."
"Prince. You really feel that I am your prince?"
"Yes, Miss Utena."
"All my life I have aspired to that very goal: to become a loyal prince. To be the savior, not the saved. And now, after all of this. After winning the first duel. After being successful every time after that. After losing you and then winning you back. And now, being with here, tonight, under the moonlight streaming through the window, I once again want to be the prince. To take my princess into my arms, to hold her, and love her. Watashi no hime. Hime...himemiya."
"Miss Utena, what are you saying?"
I took her hand and kissed it.
"You, Himemiya. My princess."
She smiled sweetly and stared into my eyes. I felt her deep pools of green aqua pouring into my troubled oceans of blue. She kneeled towards me leaning in towards my face.
"Does that mean, Utena, that you...love me?" she giggled and loving rubbed her cheek against mine.
"Yes, Anthy, it does."
She tilted her neck and kissed my lips. The soft skin of hers on mine. Her lips were slightly parted, watching, waiting. Wondering if I would perhaps slip in between them. Oh how I wanted to. But I just wasn't strong enough. Anthy backed away from our kiss.
"It's not very comfortable to sit in the floor right now."
She stood and sat over on the edge of her bed.
"Come sit next to me, Utena."
I followed her, still wondering how she felt. Still wondering if she really wanted to be with me. Her thin fingers combed through my hair and smoothed across my shoulder and down my arm and down to my hand. Her finger intertwined with mine, and she slid her arm around my waste. Slowly she eased me down onto my back.
"Anthy...but..."
"Just trust me Utena" she whispered as she once more tested my feelings. Her lips caressed mine and once more sat parted ever so slightly. This time I was sure to prove my feelings true, and I quickly slipped my tongue in between her sweet lips. Her mouth seemed to smile as she joined me. We laid there embraced in kisses of passion. My Bride, my Princess sprawled helplessly over her Victor, over her prince.
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"You never said it. Time went on, but you didn't. Tell me, tell me. Tell, me what you feel."
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It was eight o'clock at night and she sat there on the floor eating chips and giggling endlessly at the Home Shopper's Channel. She rolled up the now empty bag of chips and handed it to Chu Chu who was crying due to the end of chip eating time.
"Chu Chu, could you through that away for me? Oh, please, will you. I'll make you a sweet dessert tomorrow night before bed."
"CHUUUUU!!!" he sounded before scurrying off with the trash. Himemiya turned and giggled at him, she noticed me standing there watching her.
"Oh, Miss Utena. You startled me."
"I'm sorry Anthy. I was just...I blanked out, you know."
"Oh, yes, Miss Utena. That can happen a lot. Are you tired? You should change into your pajamas" she rushed to the closest and pulled out a pair of pajamas for me. They were light blue and long like boys' pajamas. She smiled at me, with her nightgown and hair up in her nightcap; her glasses still neatly on her face. Dark smooth, skin reaching from head to toe. Big, sea green eyes pouring deeply into my soul, every time she looked at me.
"Himemiya, I...um..."
"Yes, Miss Utena."
"I...thank you for getting out my pajamas. I'll be back in a second" I stomped off to the bathroom, absorbed by my anger. How stupid could I be? Did she love me? I couldn't even be sure if she really wants to be my bride. She seems like it, but when she was engaged to him...to Touga, she just agreed to everything he said. Was she the same with me?
Once I finished changing, I walked out of the bathroom.
"Oh, Miss Utena! Would you like to see?"
"What? See what Anthy?"
She pulled off her nightcap and hundreds of deep violet locks toppled from her head. They slid down her back like waterfalls of rose scented hair. Oh, Anthy! What I wouldn't give to hold you in my arms right now. Your beautiful hair laid neatly across the bed...
"I just remembered that you've never had the chance to see my hair down yet. The new curling iron they were selling on the television reminded me about it and...oh, I'm sorry Miss Utena. I'm babbling."
"Oh, no! No. It's okay. I love the sound of your voice. It..." I clasped my hands over my mouth. What had I said?! Would she figure it out? Treat me like just another admirer? Why couldn't I just tell her how I felt? At least I wouldn't have to live like this any longer.
"It...it's just that it seemed very unusual for you to do something like that, yeah. You know" I stuttered. Sweat began to develop upon my brow and my nerves were kicking up.
"Miss Utena?"
"Yes, Anthy."
"Is there something wrong? You seem a little funny tonight" she walked over to the television and turned it off. She then sat down on the floor next to our little table and patted the space next to her. I followed and sat down.
"Utena, do you really think that?"
"Think what?"
"That my voice is that nice."
"Oh, um, yes. Yes, I do."
"Really? Thank you Utena."
"You dropped the Miss."
"You are an observant one, Utena" she smiled and knelt her head on my shoulder.
"You seem to be acting quite funny too."
"I was watching a very interesting program a few days ago while you were already asleep. It said to break away from the ordinary when the ordinary seems to lose its...what's the word...ordinary-ness?" she giggled, "And you were acting quite funny, Miss Utena, sorry, Utena, so I thought I'd try it."
"Oh. Well, Anthy. There's something that's been on my mind for quite some time now" I turned my head quickly hoping that she wouldn't catch my words. My hand lay limp on the floor, and Anthy took it in hers'.
"It's about...well, I...I...just can't say it."
"May I guess?"
"I suppose."
"Okay, but you have to tell me if I'm right."
"Okay."
"Is it about Chu Chu?"
"No."
"I put him to bed already. Um, is it about the Rose Seal?"
"No."
"Is it about a thing or a one?"
"A thing or a one?"
"Something or someone."
"Oh, a one then."
"Is it someone near or far?"
"Someone near. Someone very near to my heart, Anthy" I held her hand that was already holding mine and looked deeply into her eyes. She had to know. She just had to know!
"Is it me?"
"Yes. Yes, it is Anthy. I...I care about you very much and I was wondering if you ca..."
"Of course I do, Miss Utena."
"No! Anthy, I want YOUR answer. Not just because I say so. The truth."
"But I shall only repeat myself."
"Really, Anthy. Thank you. Thank you for caring about me."
One admittance down and one to go. I cared for her, and she for me, but did Anthy Himemiya love me? Could she love? Or would she just think of me just like all the others? Trying so to make her mine, both physically as the Rose Bride and in her heart. Just like Saionji. Would she no longer hold her pride in me as being a noble Victor? Would she assume that I was just like the others? Wanting her? Loving her? Raping her? NO! Never, my Anthy! Never would I place harm upon your fragile body. Skin, dark brown terra cotta, smooth as the softest silk spun by angels. Radiant eyes, glimmering sweet Neptune crystals of the sea. Soft lips that form the brightest smile in the world. Long flowing violet ribbons of hair down her slim back. Oh, Anthy I...I...
"I'm glad that you are the Victor of the duel. I'm glad that you have freed me from the hold of Saionji. You sometimes make me feel like I'm not even the Rose Bride anymore. Like...like I'm a princess and you're my..."
"Prince. You really feel that I am your prince?"
"Yes, Miss Utena."
"All my life I have aspired to that very goal: to become a loyal prince. To be the savior, not the saved. And now, after all of this. After winning the first duel. After being successful every time after that. After losing you and then winning you back. And now, being with here, tonight, under the moonlight streaming through the window, I once again want to be the prince. To take my princess into my arms, to hold her, and love her. Watashi no hime. Hime...himemiya."
"Miss Utena, what are you saying?"
I took her hand and kissed it.
"You, Himemiya. My princess."
She smiled sweetly and stared into my eyes. I felt her deep pools of green aqua pouring into my troubled oceans of blue. She kneeled towards me leaning in towards my face.
"Does that mean, Utena, that you...love me?" she giggled and loving rubbed her cheek against mine.
"Yes, Anthy, it does."
She tilted her neck and kissed my lips. The soft skin of hers on mine. Her lips were slightly parted, watching, waiting. Wondering if I would perhaps slip in between them. Oh how I wanted to. But I just wasn't strong enough. Anthy backed away from our kiss.
"It's not very comfortable to sit in the floor right now."
She stood and sat over on the edge of her bed.
"Come sit next to me, Utena."
I followed her, still wondering how she felt. Still wondering if she really wanted to be with me. Her thin fingers combed through my hair and smoothed across my shoulder and down my arm and down to my hand. Her finger intertwined with mine, and she slid her arm around my waste. Slowly she eased me down onto my back.
"Anthy...but..."
"Just trust me Utena" she whispered as she once more tested my feelings. Her lips caressed mine and once more sat parted ever so slightly. This time I was sure to prove my feelings true, and I quickly slipped my tongue in between her sweet lips. Her mouth seemed to smile as she joined me. We laid there embraced in kisses of passion. My Bride, my Princess sprawled helplessly over her Victor, over her prince.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
"You never said it. Time went on, but you didn't. Tell me, tell me. Tell, me what you feel."