Mission: Recovery
Disclaimer: Zechs and Howard don't belong to me. The Malloy family does. Don't mind if you borrow 'em, just return them intact and give credit where credit is due.
In space, no one can hear you scream. That was the tagline for a popular series of movies back in the twentieth century. The figure moving about the storage room of the huge vessel would have also said that in space, no one could hear you cry. . .that no one should hear you cry. That the perfect silence shouldn't be shattered by tears.
That young man, a slim boy with long blond hair, now shifted boxes out of his way, careful not to jostle his still-healing ribs. A strand of pale blond hair escaped his baseball cap, and Zechs Merquise blinked. He removed the baseball cap, brushed his hair back from his eyes, then put the cap back on. . .backward. Now he lost count. He silently swore to himself. They were ferrying cases of medicine to one of the poorer colonies, the name of which escaped Zechs. When he and the Malloy family left L2 nearly two months earlier, Shawn explained his plan to take a greater role in the universe. No more sitting back and letting other people act for them.
The path he chose meant that they spent a lot of time in space, which was fine with Zechs. In fact, few of the things that happened during the last few weeks bothered him. He narrowly escaped detection on L2, and it was only the timely arrival of Trowa Barton that protected him. That, and the quick thinking of Talia Malloy. Preferring not to think about the latter, and how his body reacted to her, Zechs chose instead to consider Trowa Barton. Why exactly did he help them?
He knew what Trowa said. That because of his aid in countless situations, most of which saved the lives of various gundam pilots, the younger pilot believed Zechs should have a chance to atone. A chance he would never get if he was dead or imprisoned. And, that if it came out that Zechs was still alive and that the Malloys sheltered him, they would never have another peaceful moment.
So. . .why did Zechs get the strange sensation that there was more to this than what he knew? He shivered, despite the denim jacket, as he recalled an all-too-vivid dream, a dream that haunted him for several nights before they left L2. A sense that he was suffocating. Blood. Terror. Zechs tried to tell himself that it was just another nightmare from his insanity as the leader of White Fang. Which would also explain why Heero Yuy was in it.
The young man gave himself a mental shake and returned to work, promising himself that he would put more of his model together tonight, if he got an accurate count of these damnable boxes. They were delivering these cases of medicine to a colony that was ravaged by Romefellar, Oz, and too many others to count.
Zechs supposed he could count this as part of his penance, since he did his part in creating a medicine shortage for Sirius. During the last war, certain Oz forces stripped the hospitals of the colony bare. It was just after he destroyed the Oz battleship Barge, and Treize Khushrenada was desperate to save the comatose Lady Une.
The medical necessities were taken from Sirius to replace what was lost on Barge. Zechs sighed. Yes, this would be part of his penance. Once he could get an accurate count of the boxes, of course. According to the manifesto (or the packing list, as the supplies officer on L2 called it), there were supposed to be one hundred boxes. Zechs counted up the boxes four times, and come up with four different totals. And that simply wasn't acceptable to the former Lightning Count. He would get these cases in proper order, or he would die trying. He grimaced as that thought crossed his mind. Talia would come unglued.
He couldn't concentrate, that was the thing. He had numbers tumbling through his head, and he couldn't focus on what he was supposed to be doing. As if she was right beside him, Zechs could hear Noin scolding him, telling him that he needed to rest. Take a break. Noin. He closed his eyes, his throat tightening. When the telltale burning ceased behind his eyelids, he opened his eyes once more. He left the storage area, and went to the one place he felt totally at peace when he wasn't working on his model, a gift from Talia.
In the cargo hold were the two shuttles that Zechs helped Shawn and Talia buy. He smiled faintly, approaching one shuttle, which Talia named the Constellation. . .the other was the Constitution. Once, those were tall ships, proud maritime vessels, long ago. Perhaps two hundred fifty or three hundred years earlier. Maybe longer. Despite his education, Zechs found the line between Anno Domine and After Colony rather blurry.
He ran his hand over the Constellation. It wasn't a large shuttle, could only carry three people. But it could be used in a variety of ways. Zechs sighed, thinking of the money that helped to fund the shuttles. Years earlier, he set up a secret account under a false name. It was his special emergency fund. Created after the attempted abduction of his sister, it was his intention to use the money as ransom funds, since not even an Oz lieutenant, or even the Lightning Count, made a lot of money. Now, however, there was a new purpose for the money.
"Z, come up here and look at this," Shawn beckoned over the loudspeakers. Startled by the use of his nickname by the older man (the shortened form of his pseudonym was mainly used by Talia and Ciara), Zechs nonetheless left the cargo hold, journeying up to the cockpit. It was actually a short walk, but Zechs' ribs still pained him. And he was dealing with a shortness of breath as well.
The entrance slid open and Zechs entered what Talia had begun to jokingly call the bridge. Shawn glanced over his shoulder and smiled faintly, then stepped to one side as Zechs approached. He indicated something on the radar screen. . .a blip of some kind. Zechs frowned, not understand the significance, until Shawn typed a command into the computer.
Zechs leaned in for a closer look as the ship's onboard computer displayed the remains of a mobile suit. But it wasn't just any mobile suit. . .it was a gundam. And it wasn't just any gundam. . . Zechs' blood ran cold. He looked from the computer, up at Shawn, then back down at the computer. The young ace breathed, "Tallgeese."
. .
.
Talia Malloy was worried about her daughter. In the last few months, ever since their return to space, Ciara became very quiet and introspective. Talia wasn't the only one who noticed this. . .Zechs also noticed the change in the girl he considered a little sister. That wasn't all that troubled Talia. . .she also noticed a change in Shawn.
As she typed up an email to Olga, updating the older woman on the latest news, Talia glanced over at her daughter once more. The young girl was drawing something. . .Ciara had always loved to draw, ever since she was small. According to her art teachers, she had no aptitude, but Talia urged her daughter to ignore what they said. One thing Talia learned from Rina and Annika was that art was to express what was in your heart.
It was something she never forgot, and tried to teach Ciara. She was wondering at first if the lesson hadn't sunk in, since Ciara started refusing her requests to see the pictures. Then, the previous day, Zechs made an off-hand remark about being her age, and Talia realized that her daughter was starting to hit puberty. Talia shuddered. She remembered that time period all too well. She only hoped she was strong enough to deal with Ciara's journey through hell.
While Ciara had little contact with other children, except when they were on the colony, Talia knew that things could get difficult. She ran her hand through her dark hair, murmuring under her breath in Russian. Then she blinked and looked over at Ciara. The girl was focused rather intently on her drawing. . .she didn't seem to have heard Talia's lapse into Russian.
The woman turned her attention back to her email, promising to email Olga in another week, or sooner if there was any news. She hit the 'send' button and pushed herself away from the computer. Her spine crackled in protest of this abuse, as she was sitting for the better part of three hours, and Talia winced. She wouldn't do that again any time soon.
She started out that morning cataloguing the contents of the storage room, then entering the items into the computer, to make sure what they matched with the manifesto/packing list. She offered to mark the boxes as she finished with them, to help Zechs, but he was determined to do his job. She smiled faintly. That was typical of Zechs, though. He needed to feel useful in some way.
She ruffled her daughter's hair as she passed Ciara, earning herself a glare, but Talia only smiled. Her mind moved on, as she thought of Zechs. Yes, he needed to feel useful. Whether it was as a soldier, or a member of this family, he needed a purpose. That thought stopped her as she headed for the storage room. A purpose. Why did that catch her attention? She shook her head. She needed to check on Zechs, make sure he wasn't over-doing it.
//And this time,// she thought ruefully, //I'll get his attention when I enter the room!// It wasn't a good idea to startle him, as she learned the hard way, since his battle instincts were still intact. He was out of the battle for only three months. It would take him years before he became accustomed to peace, if he ever did. Zechs fought for almost fifteen years. But if she could, she would help him. She and the others.
And she liked to think she already helped him, if only in small ways. //Shallow, Tal,// she thought, //real shallow.// Still, she knew she would never forget the look on his face when she presented him with the old airplane model the morning after she returned home from Olga's house. His icy blue eyes went very wide as he accepted the present from her almost reverently. She hadn't had a chance to wrap it, but he didn't seem to care.
And then, unexpectedly, tears filled his eyes. He whispered 'thank you,' and gently placed the model to one side before hugging her fiercely. The strength of the embrace, and the gesture itself, took her breath away. He smiled at her and picked up his new model, scuttling down the hall to his room. Talia stared after him, and Shawn said, "I'll be damned. There's still a kid in there somewhere. Maybe you had the right idea after all. If we didn't have t' worry about him still healin,' and the possibility of him bein' recognized again, I would say we should have taken him t' one of the amusement parks here on L2."
Talia smiled and said, "One step at a time, Shawn." Something occurred to her then. How long was it since someone gave Zechs anything, for no good reason? Just because? Ciara nailed things down further the following day as they began packing their belongings and transporting things to the Pax. The preteen observed that Zechs was very tentative about admitting even now that he was in a lot of pain. He didn't like to admit that he was hurting. That he was less than one hundred percent. Something that Talia noticed as well, but Ciara added, "Mom? Are we the first people to take care of Zechs? Sometimes, he acts like we are."
And things fell into place for Talia. When *was* the last time someone took care of Zechs? Not just physically. . .but when was the last time someone was strong for him, when was the last time someone gave their strength to him, instead of taking theirs from him? There was nothing wrong with leaning on someone else.
But that was a two-way street. She resolved that Zechs would get the strength he needed from her. Her first priority was Ciara, but she knew Zechs would understand that. He felt the same way. Whatever it took, though, she would do what she could to bring about the day when Zechs was ready to watch his father's message. Talia was halfway to the storage room when Zechs' voice broke through her reverie. He said, "Tal? Z here. Could you come up to the cockpit. . .bridge. . .whatever you want to call it? I think. . .there's something Shawn and I think you should see." Talia frowned and headed for the nearest intercom.
She hit 'reply,' and said, "Z, I'm headed for the storage room, I'll be up there in about five minutes. I have a feeling whatever you two are cooking up, Ciara should be there to hear it, too." Zechs laughed, a strained-sounding attempt at a laugh, at least. An icy finger trailed down Talia's spine. She knew Zechs. Whatever she was supposed to see, it royally shook up Zechs. And that wasn't easy to do.
"I don't know how to cook, Talia, you know that. And not even you have the patience to teach me," Zechs replied. She smiled. . .it was a running joke between them after she started teaching him Spanish. She became fluent in the language, thanks first to her classes at the boarding school, then her friendship with Beatriz Escalante. On L2, since there were a fair number of people of Hispanic descent, she learned even more.
"Be up there in about five, Tal out," she replied and hit the 'disconnect' button. She immediately swore under her breath. Dammit, when would she learn not to do that! It wasn't a huge deal. . .the next time this intercom was used, the communications system onboard the vessel would do. . .something. Talia was no mechanic, or even electrician. She just knew that every time she hit 'disconnect' instead of 'release,' the system had to realign or something.
There was no help for it now, but she silently resolved to ask Shawn to take a look at it when he had a chance. She headed back to the rec room. Ciara was still drawing, but she looked up as the door swished open. Talia told her daughter, "Your dad and Zechs have something in the bridge they want us to check out. I have a feeling it's big, because Z sounded a bit. . .strained. And I don't think it was just his ribs." Ciara frowned and set her sketchbook to one side, carefully placing it so no one would see what she was drawing.
She rose to her feet and said, "I hope it's nothing serious. But it probably is, 'cause Zechs doesn't get upset over just anything." //Right you are, sweetheart, Talia thought as her step-daughter joined her and they headed down the hall to the bridge, //and I have a funny feeling that we're about to see a side of Zechs that not even he knew existed.// But there would be time enough for that later.
. .
.
Ciara Malloy couldn't believe what she was hearing. Her father and Zechs found the Tallgeese? Zechs' first gundam? And the prototype of the other gundams? But she thought it was destroyed. . .that was what she surmised (Ciara liked that word, she heard Zechs use it once, and asked him what it meant). At least from the news reports.
"Technically speaking, Tallgeese isn't a gundam, as much of its material is titanium. However, when I defected from Oz and nearly died, Howard and his engineers worked on Tallgeese while I was unconscious. They modified it. . .so I suppose you could say it's half-gundam," the former White Fang leader explained as he, Ciara, and her parents sat around a table in a room just off the bridge.
After viewing the wreckage of the Tallgeese, they all came in here to discuss what they would do about the wreckage. Ciara's mother mused, "So, it's half-gundam and half-titan." Zechs blinked in surprise, and she explained, "Titan. You said that it's half gundam, because of the gundamium that Howard used to repair it. And it's primarily made of titanium. Gundam, gundamium, titan, titanium." Zechs rolled his eyes, and Ciara's mother protested, "What?"
"Nothing. Just. . .nothing," Zechs replied. Ciara glanced over at him, and saw that he was struggling not to laugh. Ciara didn't know why, since her mother was serious. However, she didn't ask. Zechs laced his fingers together, observing, "Shawn wants to retrieve Tallgeese. And. . .I. . .well, it's not that I object to salvaging it. But we have to get these supplies to Sirius. They've waited long enough for help."
"Osiris," Mom corrected, and Zechs blinked again. Ciara's mother explained, "The name of the colony is Osiris. It was primarily settled by Egyptians who left L4 about a century ago. I studied Egyptian history when I was in school, as well as the history of the colonies, and that's when I found out that the Egyptians were originally on L4."
"So, I want to retrieve Tallgeese and Zechs wants t' wait until after we deliver the goods. Tal, what do you think?" Ciara's father asked, interrupting the interesting tidbits Ciara was learning from her mother. He glanced across the table at the females. Ciara's mother sat back, frowning thoughtfully. Ciara knew her opinion would be asked, if only to make it fair. At least according to Zechs and her mother, if not her father.
"I say we wait until we deliver the supplies to Osiris. Like Z says, these people have waited long enough. Tallgeese is a mobile suit. It's waited this long. It can wait a little longer," Ciara's mother finally agreed. She looked at Ciara, asking, "What do you think, honey?" That surprised her. Not that she was asked, but the casualness of the question. As if her mother hadn't even needed to remind herself that Ciara was there.
The girl said softly, "I think it's kinda silly to rescue a mobile suit. It's not real. I mean, it is, but it isn't. The people on Osiris, they're real. Daddy always used to get so mad at Oz, and Romefellar, because they were putting machines, mobile suits, over people." She stopped, but her father motioned her to continue, and Ciara shrugged, saying, "I just think that if we're better than they are, we should just head to the colony. I saw another news report last night." Her voice broke, and her mother put her arm around her shoulders.
"Then we'll go t' the colony. Humans remain our first concern," Ciara's father said softly. Ciara didn't pay much attention as he engaged Zechs in a conversation, hammering out details. The girl was shivering. The status of the colony caused her nightmare to come back. That was why she drew that terrible picture. A man with his throat slashed. Where were these terrible images coming from? What was happening to her?
. .
.
As the small family decided, they continued to Osiris after Shawn made a note of Tallgeese's coordinates. From the day of the meeting, they had about another three days before reaching the colony. As the day wore on after that meeting, Zechs noticed Talia becoming steadily quieter. Not an introspective sort of quiet, but a kind of quiet which he recognized from living with this young woman for so many months.
She was shutting down. . .that was the best way he heard it described. She was shutting down, in order to protect herself and. . .them? Maybe? Zechs didn't know. He did know that it was wise to leave her alone, at least until after she began talking again. So, he spent the rest of the day counting out those damnable boxes, until he got a solid number. Then there was dinner, and Shawn kept up a running dialogue, effectively masking the silence of his womenfolk. . .yes, Ciara was terribly quiet as well.
Zechs didn't start to worry about Talia until the following day. Ciara was more herself, exchanging banter with her father as she sat in one of the chairs on the bridge. Shawn was piloting the Pax, and maintaining the continuing disintegration on Osiris. Zechs learned from Ciara that Osiris was one of the outermost colonies, which was why their journey was taking so long. That, and they were stopping at each of the colonies, to see if they could spare any medical supplies.
For his own part, Zechs was just enjoying the view of the stars, and the sound of his young friend's laughter. But he missed Talia, and at last, he asked, "Shawn, where is Talia? She didn't join us for breakfast, I haven't seen her all day." Shawn turned to look at the younger man, and Zechs was startled to see his friend's face turn slightly pink.
"Ah. . .Talia. . .isn't feelin' very well. She should be fine by the time we reach Osiris. Ciara, your mother separated a box of medical supplies out from the things headed for Osiris. See if you can find any painkillers, and give them to your mother later," Shawn replied. Zechs raised an eyebrow, and as his daughter turned away, Shawn mouthed, "Female troubles."
Zechs didn't understand at first. . .then he felt himself turn bright red. It was truly ridiculous. . .Noin was one of his dearest friends, but they simply never discussed such things. He knew the. . .mechanics, of course. He knew to avoid her during a specific time of the month, and not to take anything she said to heart. But the actual. . .discussion? No. He said only, "I see." Shawn nodded and turned back to what he was doing. Zechs sat back in his seat, relaxing, and murmured, "I still can't get over how beautiful space is, even after all this time. I remember the first time I came up here. After I defected from Oz. I felt so free, Shawn."
"And now you are, lad. Now you are free," Shawn replied with a smile as he turned again to look at Zechs. The older man leaned against the console, a faraway expression appearing in his and he said, "You know, I hated space when I first got out here." Zechs frowned and Shawn explained, "It was so huge. . .so vast. So alien. I grew up in Ireland. Elene loved it up here. She reveled in the open space. . .literally." Zechs laughed, both at the words and the rueful smile that lit Shawn's face. The older man continued, "I promised her, as she was dyin,' that I would bury her in outer space. So she would be out here for all eternity."
Now a spasm of pain crossed his face, and Shawn sighed, "I almost didn't keep that promise. Talia forced me t' do it. She told me that I gave m' word, and she wouldn't let me break m' promise t' Elene. M' God, Zechs, she was just a kid. And she stood there, over my dead wife's body, and vowed that Elene would get the burial she wanted, if Talia had t' die tryin.' I couldn't believe her determination. But, I kept m' promise. And I know now that Talia was right about keepin' m' promise."
"Shawn," Zechs asked hesitantly, not quite sure if he was enough a part of this family to ask the question, but not able to contain his curiosity any longer, "why did you marry Talia? I know you're still in love with Elene." Shawn looked at him, startled, and Zechs felt himself turning red again. Damn, open mouth, insert foot! He said, "Sorry, that wasn't my business."
"Maybe not," Shawn sighed, "but it's a fair question. The easy answer is, Father Maxwell on L2 shamed me int' it, tellin' me that I would destroy Talia's reputation if she traveled wi' me now. She was a young girl, and Ciara was a baby. I was out of m' head wi' grief. Didn't want t' marry again. And Maxwell made sense. I didn't want t' be selfish and ruin a young girl's life, just because I couldn't take care of m'self or m' daughter."
He raked his hand through his dark brown hair, continuing, "It took me years t' realize that I was bein' selfish anyhow. We're in space, who cares what people think? And it's not like people generally care about that sort of thin' these days, but I was raised as a Catholic. . .hell, I'm still a Catholic, and I was taught t' listen t' what Father says. So I married a girl whom I didn't love. . .amazin'ly enough, it didn't ruin our friendship, although, I put m' foot in my mouth up t' m' knee a few times."
Zechs nodded in acknowledgment. Shawn looked at him steadily, then said, "Listen, forget what I said earlier. Why don't you go ahead and make sure Talia's all right? I would do it myself, but I'm a damn coward. I tend to make a mess of things when she's not feeling like herself. Maybe you'll have better luck." Zechs started to demur, then he remembered the nights when she sat beside his bed, quietly maintaining a vigil over his unconscious, feverish form. She wasn't feeling well. She was probably in a lot of pain, if she disappeared for most of the day. Was it really asking so much for him to see if he could comfort her this time?
Zechs knew the answer was 'no.' And it wasn't that he didn't want to help her. . .he worshipped Talia, adored her for everything she did for him. And he was strongly attracted to her. Maybe that was part of the problem. His strong, and ever growing attraction, to Talia. But that was no reason for her to suffer alone. . .he would not be a coward and let her down. He said, "I'll be back. Thanks for being honest with me, Shawn." The older man nodded and Zechs pushed himself to his feet. He didn't know what he would say to Talia, or what he would do. He just knew he had to do something. As he walked away, he acknowledged that sitting by and doing nothing hadn't felt right. Yes. He was taking the right path.
. . .
It took long enough to get rid of him. And Shawn realized that Zechs wanted to go to Talia long before Shawn pushed him out the door. The boy was essentially gentle, despite what he did while leading White Fang. But Talia was Shawn's wife. Therefore, it was his responsibility to be there for her. Shawn ran his hand over his eyes. He told Zechs the truth. . . he almost always managed to mess things up when Talia was dealing with this time of the month. But there was more to it than that. Simply put, Shawn needed Zechs to leave the cockpit. . .the bridge. There was something Shawn needed to do.
He took a deep breath. . .this chased itself in his head for the last day, ever since their meeting to decide what to do about Tallgeese. He dialed the number with only slightly trembling fingers, taking deep, even breaths to ease his nerves. He was playing with fire, he knew that. But each day, Shawn grew more certain that another war was coming. The connection was made almost immediately and Howard beamed at him, saying, "Now this is a surprise, Shawn! To say nothing of an ungodly hour, but I was tinkering in my shop." Shawn smiled in spite of himself. Tinkering in his shop. Yeah, that was one way of putting it. The older man continued, "So, to what do I owe the honor of this call?"
"I need to call in a favor, old friend. For the sake of future generations," Shawn replied. Howard grew serious, and his eyes narrowed. Shawn continued, "I understand that you designed the mobile suit called Tallgeese. That you made modifications to it following Zechs Merquise's defection from Oz. I need your help, Howard."
Howard's eyes narrowed further, and the older man asked, "You need my help to do what, and how does Tallgeese figure in this?" By answer, Shawn punched in the coordinates of where they found Tallgeese. . .or rather, what was left of Tallgeese. The scientist was speechless for a moment. But only for a moment. He quickly recovered and muttered, "Damn, that has more lives than Zechs!"
"Maybe not," Shawn replied and Howard's eyes jerked back to the Irishman. To say that Howard looked stunned was an understatement. Shawn glanced over his shoulder, though he was the only one in the room. . .yes, the coast was clear. . .and he said, "You remember your comment about consoling Ciara, because the lady lieutenant was sure Zechs was still alive?" Howard nodded and Shawn continued, even though the older man's expression told him that Howard already guessed what he was about to say, "Lieutenant Noin was right. Zechs is alive. Critically injured in the destruction of the Libra, but alive. We've been taking care of him for the last few months. No, no questions now, old friend. I have a lot to tell you."
. .
.
When Zechs reached Talia's room, he hesitated. What did he do? Maybe she was sick. . .literally sick. Maybe she didn't want anyone around. And maybe, he thought with a sigh, you should stop being such a coward and do this already! With that thought firmly in place, he slipped into Talia's room and quietly called her name.
"Go away, Zechs," a lump from the middle of the bed answered in a hoarse voice. The young man blinked. Talia? Yes, he could just make out the outline of a body, curled up into a fetal position on the bed. But she didn't sound angry. She sounded. . .like she was in pain. Like she was alone, and she didn't want anyone's pity.
That stayed him. When he would have left, that possibility forced him to walk further into the room. He asked softly, "Isn't there anything I can do for you, Tal? You saved my life, you took care of me." You loved me, you gave me an amazing gift, just because. The thoughtfulness of that gesture still took his breath away. She just wanted to give him a gift. As if she hadn't given him enough already?
A hoarse laugh, then a moan, sounded from the bed, and Talia replied, "I appreciate it, Z, but there's nothing you can do. Most months, it's not this bad. I guess everything's catching up all at once." Zechs didn't ask what she meant by 'everything catching up. He already knew, and felt badly. She was suffering in part because of him. That made him all the more determined to do something. Even though Talia continued, "I'll be fine in a few days. I just need time for those wonderful pills to kick in." Still, Zechs didn't leave.
Instead, he moved a little further into the room. By now, he was almost to the bed. He thought desperately about what he could do. She told him that there was nothing he could do, but Zechs Merquise didn't take such a challenge lightly. It got him into trouble in the past. . .he was sure it would happen again. Very carefully, he sat down on the bed beside her, hoping that he didn't make things worse. He pulled the covers away from Talia's face. She was crying. From the pain? Which pain? Zechs wasn't sure where that came from, but it felt true to him. There were so many different kinds of pain.
"Talia," he said softly, "Let me do this for you. In my heart, I'm still a soldier, and a soldier is useless without someone to protect. Someone to. . .someone who needs him. Let me take care of you, just this once. Tell me what I can do. You're stronger than I am, but let me give you my strength this time, in whatever way I can."
There was a long silence, and Zechs was afraid he went too far. Then Talia looked up at him and whispered, "Would you. . .just hold me? Please? Just. . .hold onto me? Until I fall asleep?" Zechs answered her by scooping her into his arms and holding her tightly. His ribs protested the movement, but he ignored it. Ignored, too, the stab of desire that accompanied the feel of Talia's body against his own. Instead, he focused on the slender woman in his arms.
Her tears soaked his shirt, but Zechs didn't pull away. He was never comfortable in these situations, but he didn't allow himself to pull away. Instead, he bent his head to kiss the top of hers, murmuring endearments in German and French, and any other language he could remember. Yes, she was stronger than he was. . .something Zechs realized long ago. But at this moment, she was just a weeping, lonely, fragile young woman. And she needed Zechs. That was something he could never resist. Someone who needed him. He held her tightly, long after her sobs eased. . .long after she fell asleep. He just held her.
. . .
Once Shawn finished his story, all Howard could say was, "I'll be damned. The boy does it again. Dammitall, the kid has more lives than a cat. He and Heero Yuy both. Damn kid!" Shawn wasn't sure if he meant Heero or Zechs, and truly, after the events on L2, it was hard for him to tell the difference between Heero and Zechs in some ways.
There was a long silence as Howard sifted through what Shawn had told him. The young Irishman knew that his friend had a lot to consider. At last, the engineer said softly, "So how is he? Now that he's recovered from whatever happened to him. . .how is he?" There were actually two questions in the one. . .the spoken and the unspoken questions.
Shawn chose to answer the unspoken question first, explaining, "I've pieced thin's t'gether from what Zechs told me, and from what I've heard durin' one of his nightmares. That gundam, Wing Zero, messed wi' his mind. I've heard about this Zero system, and I think that had a lot t' do wi' it. Zechs is convinced it only happened because he's flawed. Hell, who isn't flawed? But you know Zechs."
Howard laughed shortly, and Shawn continued, his earlier rage seeping into his voice, "Then his brat sister went and surrendered t' Romefellar." Howard started to protest, but Shawn knew what he would say and warned, "Don't try t' defend herm, Howard. I know exactly what you're about t' say. And it won't do any good. As far as I'm concerned, she's an incompetent little moron who thinks wars can be ended by gettin' rid of the weapons. I have no intention of provin' her wrong, but it's just a matter of time before someone does. I want t' be ready for that day, Howard. And that's how you come int' this. Yes, now I'm gettin' t' the point. I want your help in rebuildin' Tallgeese."
"For Zechs?" Howard guessed and Shawn bobbed his head once. Howard continued, "I'd be glad to help, but are you sure Zechs is ready for this? You said yourself that he's still having nightmares. Is he ready to confront what he almost became, what he almost did?" Shawn sat back, rubbing his hand over his eyes. The spoken question.
"No. Not right now. That's why I want you t' meet us on L2, once we're finished wi' what we're doin' up here. Zechs isn't ready. He's still healin,' both physically and mentally. Howard, I didn't just ask you because you designed Tallgeese. But you care for Zechs as much as I do. I think it's a safe bet t' say that you love him like your own son. No matter what he's done, that remains. The question here, Howard, is you. Can you forgive him?" Shawn asked.
Howard lowered his eyes, looking away from the screen, away from Shawn. The young Irishman didn't speak, understanding that Howard needed time to think. Despite the intervening months, Shawn knew his old friend had to still be angry. . .to feel betrayed. He said softly, "Contact me when you're ready, Howard. Whatever your answer may be."
"I appreciate that, Shawn. I have a lot to think about. And no matter what I decide, what you told me will not be heard. I will tell no one. But since this seems to be a day for revealing secrets, it's only fair," Howard said quietly. Shawn frowned, not understanding, and the older man continued, "I found some old news reels on diskette, footage of Raoul and Katerina Peacecraft in the days before the fall of the Sank Kingdom. I think you should take a look at what I found. I'm uploading them to you now."
"Okay, I'll take a look at them. Howard. . .thank you. No matter what you choose t' do, I will understand. . .and thank you," Shawn told his friend. Howard just nodded, his eyes filled with too many emotions to name, and the connection was broken. The upload was still in process and Shawn frowned. What had Howard sent him, and why was it so important?
. . .
Zechs was wrong. Talia wasn't asleep. . .she was close to it, but she hadn't drifted off. Not yet. It was only a matter of time before she finally gave up. But for right now, she was content to simply huddle against Zechs' body, drawing strength from his warmth and proximity. It was so long since she allowed herself to lean on someone, on anyone. Z's hand smoothed over her hair and he continued whispering to her in French and German. Talia, who learned both languages in school, smiled sleepily. So sweet. He was such a sweet boy. If Talia wasn't whom she was, and wasn't so close to Katerina Peacecraft, she would have been stunned that this was the same young man who tried to destroy Earth.
But Rina was her best friend, and she expected such gentleness from Rina's son. Sometimes, between sleep and wakefulness, Rina seemed very close. Always smiling, always serene, always loving. In those times, Rina seemed close enough to touch. . .she seemed to welcome Talia. But before Talia could reach out to her lost friend, she would wake up. Oh God, how that hurt. Talia closed her eyes, smiling in spite of herself as Zechs gently rocked her. As if she was a child. . .as she rocked him when he was a child. She wondered if he remembered her yet. She doubted it.
That was fine, though. Talia didn't mind. The longer he went without remembering, the better it would be. Talia couldn't face his anger right now. Though the pain eased, it was still there. It wasn't just the pain of the cramps, or the emotional roller coaster created by her hormones. There was another pain just below the surface. It was that pain which prompted her to ask Zechs to hold her. And God help her, she wasn't ashamed of her weakness, or in the way she reveled in how close he was. But he believed she was asleep. He was murmuring soothing nonsense now, as he lowered her to the bed. Talia sighed. He would leave her now, taking his warmth and his strength with him.
She prepared herself for his departure. Prepared herself for the feeling which would return, feelings that his presence chased away. But he didn't leave. His arms remained tight around her as he lay down beside her, his long frame stretched out on the bed that was barely long enough for the five foot two inch Talia. He muttered a curse under his breath, and it was all Talia could do to keep from laughing. But she didn't. . .not even when the long blond tendrils of hair began tickling her face. Zechs would stay with her. He wouldn't leave her. Comforted by this knowledge, Talia at last fell into a peaceful sleep.
. . .
Shawn remembered the news reels that Howard sent him. More to the point, he remembered the disaster that devastated the countryside in the weeks before the Alliance attack. He was twenty-one, newly married to Elene, and they watched the footage on tv. A land mine, left from an ancient war, exploded in the middle of a small village in the Sank Kingdom. Two days after the disaster, the Peacecraft family visited what remained of the town. Princess Relena remained behind. . .she was only three years old, after all. And the King wanted to protect his daughter from this a little longer.
The king and queen walked through the town, hand in hand. The camera lingered on the beautiful, stricken face of Katerina Peacecraft as she comforted two children who were orphaned in the blast. The land mine was under the stones of the town square. Shawn knew how unstable explosives could be over a period of several years. . .the town never knew what hit them.
Behind the king and queen were another couple. . .a man, about the same age as the king, with short dark hair, and a woman, with waist-length reddish hair. They were not touching in any way. . .barely seemed to know each other. The reporter explained that the second man was Alexei Galinov, a minor Russian noble with long-standing ties to King Peacecraft. The woman was his wife Nathalie.
Bringing up the rear was a young girl with two little boys, both around age five or six. Shawn grinned, realizing for the first time that the little blond boy was none other than Prince Milliardo. . .Zechs Merquise. He didn't know who the other boy was, until the reporter said, "Guiding Prince Milliardo is Lady Natasha Galinova. The other little boy with Prince Milliardo and Lady Natasha is Petyr Galinov."
For the first time, Shawn looked at Natasha Galinova. . .and received the shock of his life. She had long, curly dark hair. A serious expression, especially as she looked about the ruined town. A faint, indulgent smile that appeared when she looked at her excited little brother and the more solemn little prince. He was looking at sixteen year old Natalia Gaston. . . the young girl who eventually became his wife. Natasha Galinova. Natalia Gaston.
Talia. Oh my God. Everything fell into place. Talia's familiarity with Zechs and his family. Her reaction whenever he mentioned her parents. Her fierce determination to save Zechs. Her immediate inclination to defend Relena whenever Shawn became annoyed with the child's attempts to play diplomat. Shawn knew that Talia had ties to the Sank Kingdom, that she knew Zechs and Relena as children. . .
But this? This blew his mind. Talia. . .was of noble birth? Yet, it made sense. The way Olga always treated her. He barely noticed when he first met her, all those years ago, that she had a trace of a Russian accent. He hadn't really paid attention. . .hell, his mind was on Elene. But Elene was gone now. And Shawn had to figure out just what the hell he did next.
. . .
"No change?" Talia asked as she entered the bridge. Shawn looked over his shoulder as his wife approached. Three days passed since Howard's revelations, since he sent Zechs to do his job. He looked at Talia, still struggling with what he learned. His wife. Talia. The woman who was at his side for all these years. . .Lady Natasha Galinova.
He must have been staring at her for a long time, for Talia blinked at him and repeated, "Shawn? You still haven't been able to maintain contact with the colony for more than a few minutes?" Shawn shook his head, turning back to his task, and Talia muttered, "I got a bad feeling about this. Storm or no storm in the outer atmosphere, something feels terribly wrong."
"Did you have those same instincts when the Sank Kingdom fell?" Shawn blurted out. The temperature in the air dropped about twenty degrees, and Shawn immediately regretted his stupidity. Much to his surprise, Talia answered him after only a few minutes.
"Yes. I just didn't understand what they meant at the time," she replied finally. Brilliant, just brilliant, Shawn, he swore at himself. Talia sighed, pushing her hair back from her eyes, "I got early warning, from a friend. And, other sources. . .but I was a stupid sixteen year old kid who didn't understand. Not until it was too late. And by then. . ."
"It wasn't your fault," Shawn said softly. Talia's shoulders rose and fell, and he wondered if he should tell her that he knew everything. That she was Lady Natasha Galinova, the daughter of Alexei and Nathalie Galinov. That once upon a time, she was the best friend and confidante of Katerina Peacecraft. He learned that from his research.
And then Zechs entered the bridge, a worried look on his young face. He asked, evidently unaware that he interrupted a Moment, "Still nothing from the colony?" Talia shook her head, and glancing at his wife, Shawn could tell that she was unaware that the kid interrupted a Moment. Figured. During the last few days, Shawn also realized a number of things, on his own. Things that he didn't like. He knew it started back when he and Tal rescued Zechs. It wasn't the kid's fault. It was just the way things were.
"Nope, and we're trying to. . .hang on a minute," Tal said, interrupting herself. Both Shawn and Zechs joined her at the console. She was typing out a series of commands into the computer, her face tight with concern. Then she swore, in an impressive display of Russian, German, and Irish profanity. Shawn blinked, and looked over at Zechs. The young soldier looked just as impressed with Talia's range.
Once her swearing fit was concluded, Talia blurted out, "I'm such an idiot! All this time, they were trying to make contact with us! My Morse code is rusty, I'm having the computer translate it for us." Morse code? Oh, this did NOT bode well. Not in the least. Shawn's own sense of unease grew as he viewed the dots and dashes on the screen.
It got worse. Zechs inhaled sharply and Tal looked at him in concern, perhaps thinking that his ribs were causing him pain again. They weren't that lucky. Zechs looked at the pair, and said softly, "The attack was hours ago. They're only hours from destruction. And we're the only vessel within a respectable distance."
"Huh?" Shawn asked intelligently, looking from the young soldier to the screen, and back. He couldn't read Morse code. It wasn't necessary for him to learn, not even when he was playing soldier as a boy. Shawn asked, "What are you talking about, the computer is still translating the message?" And then the words appeared in English, and Shawn's blood ran cold.
Talia read aloud, though it wasn't necessary, "Mayday, mayday. Colony under attack at oh two hundred hours. Main power source hit. Imminent destruction." She glanced at the chronometer, murmuring, "We should be there in about twenty minutes. The attack was four hours ago. Zechs, do you remember enough of Morse code to send them a message?" The boy nodded and Talia explained, "Tell them that the Pax is twenty minutes away."
"Consider it done," the young soldier replied, sliding into the chair at the console. He put on the headphones, as if he always did it, and began to tap out the message with a professionalism Shawn could only envy. Until he remembered how Zechs acquired that professionalism.
He was glad now that he agreed to wait on the recovery of the Tallgeese. With refugees aboard, they would need the additional space. Talia said softly, "I need to rearrange the storage room. They'll have wounded, and they'll need the storage room for a medical room. The medical supplies are already there. I just need to arrange things."
"What can I do?" Shawn asked, wondering if he sounded like a whining child. Before his wife could respond, the Irishman added, "Never mind. The shuttles can be used as a refuge for a few children, so I'll make sure those are locked down." Talia nodded, her eyes distant as she considered her next move. Or was she remembering another day of destruction? Shawn didn't know. And given the shambles he made of their marriage, it was likely he would never find out.
. . .
Ciara was awakened by the sound of feet pounding past her door, as well as the dream. Again. She rubbed her hand over her eyes, even as the door opened. Her mother's slight body was framed in the light from the hallway, and she said softly, "Ciara, honey, it's time to get up. I need your help. Osiris was attacked early this morning."
Ciara gaped at her mother, but wasted no time asking stupid questions. She flung back her covers and scooted from the bed. It wasn't necessary for her to ask questions, for her mother continued in that soft voice, "Zechs is sending a message to the colonists now, and I need help in rearranging the boxes in the storage room."
Ciara said nothing as she dressed, but once she and her mother were headed for the storage room, the girl asked, "Mom, what happened? I know you said that Osiris was attacked, but why are we making room. . .?"
Ciara's voice trailed off and she stopped in mid-stride, looking at her mother with disturbed blue-gray eyes. The girl asked, very softly, "The colony is going to blow up, isn't it? Just like when Quatre Winner attacked those colonies." Her mother hesitated, then nodded. Ciara swallowed hard, and her mother reached out, touched her shoulder.
"Kee, I know this is hard for you. But we have to hurry. The attack was four hours ago, and from what the missive said, the attack caused a great deal of damage to the main power source. That doesn't mean that they don't have any power, it means that the power source will blow up. According to what Zechs just told me, while I was on my way here, the generator will reach critical mass in less than three hours," her mother said.
"It takes that long?" Ciara wondered. Seven hours? She began walking again, and did the math in her head. The attack caused damage to the generator. . .bad enough that they couldn't fix it, but it would take seven hours for it to reach critical mass. Ciara didn't know how that was possible, but she wouldn't argue with her mother.
"Yes, they were able to buy themselves some time. Don't ask me how, Zechs didn't explain. The thing is, there are three hundred colonists left on the colony. The others were able to take shuttles off. And we're the only vessel in the vicinity. So we gotta help them. We'll be there in tw. . .no, in fifteen minutes. We have three hours to evacuate three hundred people," her mother explained. Ciara felt a chill. Three hundred people? On this ship?
Her mother reached the storage and swept her identi-key through the security system. She saw Ciara's expression and touched her shoulder again, saying softly, "I know this will be hard, honey. We'll be putting people in the cargo bay, in the shuttles, and in other spare rooms. If need be, I'll bunk with you, and your father can bunk with Zechs. We'll get through this."
Ciara nodded numbly. Her mom always said that, and it was always true. But right now, she wasn't worried about the colonists. She was actually afraid of her mother. She knew this woman, Natalia Malloy, all of her life. This was the woman who took care of her, loved her, comforted her. And Ciara realized with a dizzying certainty, that she didn't know her at all.
Who was this woman, who seemed to know exactly what to do in such a situation? Ciara thought back to the conversation she overheard between her mother and Olga. Her mother speaking in Russian. A thousand other little unexplained mysteries. Like her connection to Zechs. What was going on here? And more importantly, would Ciara lose her mother over it?
. . .
In truth, Talia didn't recognize herself, either. Just knew what had to be done. Perhaps the memory of Kit Rogers all those years ago penetrated Talia's protective armor more than she realized. Talia remembered very little of those hours, on a conscious level at least. What she did know was there was no time to waste. And so, in the time it took for Shawn to bridge the distance to the colony and land their vessel, Ciara and Talia arranged the medical supplies in the storage room effectively. Ciara suggested moving some of the supplies to another room, which they did as Shawn completed his checklist.
Now, twenty minutes after their landing, the mother and daughter were helping with the evacuation of Osiris. The government of the colony used the time wisely, urging the citizens to pack as much as they could in as few bags as possible. Shawn pointed out that there wasn't enough room for the bags and the people, and was informed that a separate shuttle would take the bags. He was just to get the people to safety.
And the flood of refugees seemed never ending. All were frightened, all seemed half sick with terror, and some were enraged. Zechs was on the bridge, keeping tabs on the generator. Between the evacuation and helping the medics get organized in the various medical rooms, Talia lost all track of time. Then Zechs said over the loudspeaker, "Attention! This is the co- pilot speaking. The reactor is about to blow. . .I need everyone down and settled. Hang onto something solid, because I can't promise a smooth take- off."
"Do you have everything under control?" Tal asked the young doctor, who kind of reminded her of Mark in the old 'Battle of the Planets' vids she watched with Petyr, years earlier. Not all of the colonists were Egyptians. . .it just started out that way. The young man bobbed his head, offering her a shy smile, and Talia returned the smile, breezing out of the room and heading up to the bridge.
"It's bad?" she asked Zechs. The blond head bobbed once and Ciara almost ran into Tal from behind. Tal gently pushed her daughter from the room, saying, "I need you to help M. . .I mean, that young doctor in the infirmary. He says he has everything under control, but. . ."
"Belay that," Zechs said tersely, "we don't have time. Everyone needs to get into a stable seat, or something. The colony is about to blow, and we have to get out of here NOW." Talia blinked, seeing a return of the soldier and commander, but pushed her daughter to a seat, strapping her in. She took the chair beside Zechs, who said softly, "I'm sorry. But one of the engineers. . .he's staying down there, to buy more time. And. . ."
Talia put her hand over Zechs, squeezing gently. He took a deep breath and finished his checklist. He started the engine several moments earlier, and they were ready to blast off. Shawn was already seated, and strapped in, his face very pale. Talia understood. Only one more person would die this day, but it was one too many. Four hundred died in the initial attack. That was four hundred too many. Four hundred they couldn't save.
And then there was no more time to think, about anything, for they were blasting off, hurtling away from the dying colony. The engineer's voice was very soft now, but Talia could hear him, even over the roar of the engines. Ticking off the moments in a tired voice. Talia glanced over at Zechs, who mouthed, 'internal injuries.' Talia felt sick.
As they slowly reached their safest point, the engineer mumbled, "Three. Always knew you were a hero. This just proves it. Two. No, no argument. The world needs its heroes. One. Good-bye, Lightning Count, hero of Osiris. It was go. . ." The transmission cut out. On the screen, there was a single puff of smoke, where the reactor. . .power generator. . .whatever you wanted to call it. . .was located. And that puff of smoke set off a horrifying chain reaction. One section of the colony blew up, then another, then another. It was like watching fiery dominos.
The three adults sat in stunned silence as the colony blew up. Into the silence that followed, Zechs said in a thick voice, "It was good to work with you, too, my friend." Then he buried his face in his hands, his slim body shaking. Shawn removed himself from his seat and quietly tapped their destination into the computer.
"I can take it from here. . .get him back t' bed. He's wiped out," Shawn said softly. Talia nodded, unbuckling herself, at the same time Ciara freed herself from her own restraints. Together, the mother and daughter helped the young hero of Osiris to his feet, and led him from the bridge. It was a long morning, for all of them.
. . .
So tired. He was so tired. As the door slid silently shut behind Talia and Ciara, Zechs sank back on his bed and closed his eyes, trying to block out the mental images. The ones he saw with his own eyes, as the colony blew up. And the ones he didn't see. The ones he heard from Raleigh, the engineer on Osiris. Call it a blessing or a curse, Zechs had a vivid imagination. From what Raleigh told him, he could make the pictures in his head. Far too easily. It wasn't so easy to get those pictures out of his head.
It took some rigging on the part of both Raleigh and Zechs, but they set up a bonafide radio. Zechs at first gave his assumed name of Zachary Gaston. Until Raleigh ordered the other men, the men who were staying with the generator as well, to get to safety, along with their families. Raleigh was dying, and he knew it. They were still whole. Good luck for them, bad luck for Raleigh. For the men who died in the initial attack. They thought at first that the falling debris didn't damage the reactor at all. It was SOP to check these things. And for the first hour, everything looked fine. But they hadn't counted on the attack screwing up the computers.
In that first hour, pressure steadily built up. Raleigh still wasn't sure what happened. The able bodied men realized the reactor was overheating, and they had at most three hours before it blew. So they cooled it as best they could, buying the colonists as much time as they could, until help arrived. Until the Pax arrived. Once Raleigh knew the Pax landed, he ordered the other men to leave. They argued with him, but he was adamant. He would die before they reached Lyonnesse, where the other colonists evacuated. He would stay at his post 'til the bitter end. Zechs flinched, hearing that, as he remembered his final conversation with Heero Yuy.
Once they were all gone, Raleigh said weakly, "We're quite the pair, aren't we, Lightning Count?" Zechs' head jerked up, and he stared at the radio in horror. Raleigh knew???? The pieces fit, as Zechs thought about it. The way Raleigh never shushed the other men while Zechs was speaking. Like he didn't want them to hear Zechs' voice. The other man coughed and continued, "Hell, I knew who you were. . .as soon as you spoke, Zechs Merquise. You weren't the only White Fang who realized we were wrong. I came to Osiris after the final battle, offer my expertise. Figured it was my way of atoning."
Zechs tried to apologize, tried. . .he wasn't even sure what he meant to do. What he wanted to say. But Raleigh silenced him with another cough, then said in a trembling voice, "Listen to me, Lightning Count. I know what. . .you're going to say. But the truth is. . .we were all responsible. Not just you. Not just Quinze Barton. All of us."
Zechs started to protest, but Raleigh wouldn't let him. He continued, "But you took all the responsibility. . .on your shoulders. . .and the rest of us let you. A boy of twenty. . .a child who was never permitted. . .to be a child. You feel ashamed? I'm almost. . .forty years old, Zechs. . .and I allowed a boy half my age. . .to take the blame for. . .something I had a part in. You shouldn't be. . .apologizing to me. I should apologize to you."
There was another long silence, then Raleigh said softly, "Five minutes before meltdown. I just heard. . .from the surface. Evacuation almost complete. Are they good people. . .the ones who took you in? Have they taken good care. . .of you?" Zechs blinked back his tears, not wanting the other man to hear the evidence in his voice.
"The best," the younger man answered in a hoarse voice. He paused, managed a smile, then said, "The wife, Talia. . .she bought a model airplane for me. An ancient one. . .one of the first airplanes ever built. I asked her why. She said. . .because she wanted to. Because I helped them to buy the Pax. They saved my life, and she was thanking me. Buying me. . ."
Zechs couldn't continue. He still couldn't wrap his mind around the concept. Raleigh said weakly, "Good. Glad to hear that. Three minutes to meltdown. I can't talk for much longer, Colonel Zechs. But I wanted you to know. . .I'm real proud to. . .have served with you. Both in White Fang, and now. Not proud of what we. . .almost did, but proud that. . .I wasn't the only one. . .who realized that. . .we were wrong."
And then things went so fast. Realizing he had to get moving, Zechs initiated the engines. And he told the others that, telling the passengers that take-off was imminent. Seconds later, Shawn, Talia, and Ciara appeared on the bridge. It was time to go. Now. As they fastened themselves into their seats, Zechs took off, leaving Osiris behind them. As they had reached the safety area, Raleigh spoke his last. . .one last message of forgiveness. Atonement. "Three. Always knew you were a hero. This just proves it. Two. No, no argument. The world needs its heroes. One. Good-bye, Lightning Count, hero of Osiris. It was go. . ."
And then Raleigh was dead. Like Walker. Like Otto. Once more, Zechs did his best, and his best wasn't good enough. He lay on his side, tears streaming down his face. The door slid open behind him, then Talia was beside him, cradling him in his arms. Zechs had no energy left to fight her. He buried his face against her sweatshirt and wept. For Raleigh, for Walker, for Otto. For the four hundred people who died today, for no good reason.
Talia just held him. Didn't speak. Didn't tell him that it wasn't his fault. Just held him while he cried, just let him cry. And for once, he wasn't ashamed of drawing from her strength. He had none of his own left. He gave what he had to Raleigh. And Raleigh was dead.
. . .
The journey to Lyonnesse, a French colony about a day's travel from the late Osiris, was spent healing. The exhausted family took turns helping the survivors in whatever way they could. Except Zechs, who hadn't left his room since the colony was destroyed. Shawn figured he should leave the boy alone. He had demons of his own to face. Talia went in for a few hours, after she checked on the survivors. Said he needed to heal.
He remained in his room, even after the survivors were safely in the custody of the Lyonnesse officials. The survivors wanted to thank him. They hadn't cared what his name was. . .only that he helped to save them. The Pax and its crew remained on Lyonnesse for only a few hours, long enough to unload its passengers, and the much needed supplies. Then Shawn took off once more. Now, a few hours later after that departure, he was once more alone in the bridge. Talia was sleeping, Ciara was sitting with Zechs, perhaps fearing for his sanity.
But he was grateful that he was alone when he got the transmission from Howard. He typed the access code into the computer, allowing him vid access to his friend. Howard didn't look happy. He said without preamble, very unlike Howard, "I've thought about what you said. And, I heard about what happened on Osiris. Zechs piloted the ship away from the colony before it blew, didn't he?" Shawn nodded.
"He's takin' baby steps toward redemption, Howard," the younger man replied. Howard nodded. His eyes were distant, and Shawn dampened his desire to prod Howard's decision out of him. His decision was already made, and Shawn already knew what conclusion Howard reached. Knew it as soon as the message first came through. But the words needed to be said. Out of respect for his long-time friendship with the older man, the words needed to be said.
And Howard said the words, telling Shawn, "I'm in, Shawn. All the way. For Tallgeese, and Zechs. And, I'll keep my mouth shut. Until Zechs is ready. Satisfactory?" Shawn nodded. The older man took a deep breath, then continued, "Right then. Are you heading to retrieve the Tallgeese? Or, do you have other plans?"
Howard knew him too well. Shawn replied quietly, "Not quite yet. First, I have a rendezvous with the marauders who attacked Osiris. Four hundred one people died, Howard. Four hundred one, and that's not counting whoever dies of their injuries on Lyonnesse. They attacked a helpless colony, and they think they'll get away wi' it. I'll prove them wrong. I'll prove them wrong, if I have t' die t' do it."
The look on Howard's face told him that he understood. Shawn thought so. For years, the Irishman allowed boys to do his fighting for him, children. He looked for a way to bring that to an end, to start fighting against predators himself. The marauders who attacked Osiris, who killed more than four hundred people, gave him a reason.
No. . .they provided him a place to start. As he closed out his conversation with Howard, Shawn rose to his feet and stared into the endless vastness of space. He remembered his promise to his dying wife, that he would 'bury' her out here. He thought of her casket floating peacefully through the silent night, and then he thought of the four hundred people who died in agony. For them, for her, there would be justice. Vengeance.
It was many years since he last spoke Irish, aside from endearments. Before Grania's death. But there was one word that he remembered clearly, because of Grania's death. A cold smile stretched across his lips as he whispered to the unanswering night, "You have met the God of Death, that boy from L2, Duo Maxwell. Now it is time for you to meet Dioltas. And you'll find that he has even less mercy than Duo Maxwell. Death can be merciful. Revenge is not."
Disclaimer: Zechs and Howard don't belong to me. The Malloy family does. Don't mind if you borrow 'em, just return them intact and give credit where credit is due.
In space, no one can hear you scream. That was the tagline for a popular series of movies back in the twentieth century. The figure moving about the storage room of the huge vessel would have also said that in space, no one could hear you cry. . .that no one should hear you cry. That the perfect silence shouldn't be shattered by tears.
That young man, a slim boy with long blond hair, now shifted boxes out of his way, careful not to jostle his still-healing ribs. A strand of pale blond hair escaped his baseball cap, and Zechs Merquise blinked. He removed the baseball cap, brushed his hair back from his eyes, then put the cap back on. . .backward. Now he lost count. He silently swore to himself. They were ferrying cases of medicine to one of the poorer colonies, the name of which escaped Zechs. When he and the Malloy family left L2 nearly two months earlier, Shawn explained his plan to take a greater role in the universe. No more sitting back and letting other people act for them.
The path he chose meant that they spent a lot of time in space, which was fine with Zechs. In fact, few of the things that happened during the last few weeks bothered him. He narrowly escaped detection on L2, and it was only the timely arrival of Trowa Barton that protected him. That, and the quick thinking of Talia Malloy. Preferring not to think about the latter, and how his body reacted to her, Zechs chose instead to consider Trowa Barton. Why exactly did he help them?
He knew what Trowa said. That because of his aid in countless situations, most of which saved the lives of various gundam pilots, the younger pilot believed Zechs should have a chance to atone. A chance he would never get if he was dead or imprisoned. And, that if it came out that Zechs was still alive and that the Malloys sheltered him, they would never have another peaceful moment.
So. . .why did Zechs get the strange sensation that there was more to this than what he knew? He shivered, despite the denim jacket, as he recalled an all-too-vivid dream, a dream that haunted him for several nights before they left L2. A sense that he was suffocating. Blood. Terror. Zechs tried to tell himself that it was just another nightmare from his insanity as the leader of White Fang. Which would also explain why Heero Yuy was in it.
The young man gave himself a mental shake and returned to work, promising himself that he would put more of his model together tonight, if he got an accurate count of these damnable boxes. They were delivering these cases of medicine to a colony that was ravaged by Romefellar, Oz, and too many others to count.
Zechs supposed he could count this as part of his penance, since he did his part in creating a medicine shortage for Sirius. During the last war, certain Oz forces stripped the hospitals of the colony bare. It was just after he destroyed the Oz battleship Barge, and Treize Khushrenada was desperate to save the comatose Lady Une.
The medical necessities were taken from Sirius to replace what was lost on Barge. Zechs sighed. Yes, this would be part of his penance. Once he could get an accurate count of the boxes, of course. According to the manifesto (or the packing list, as the supplies officer on L2 called it), there were supposed to be one hundred boxes. Zechs counted up the boxes four times, and come up with four different totals. And that simply wasn't acceptable to the former Lightning Count. He would get these cases in proper order, or he would die trying. He grimaced as that thought crossed his mind. Talia would come unglued.
He couldn't concentrate, that was the thing. He had numbers tumbling through his head, and he couldn't focus on what he was supposed to be doing. As if she was right beside him, Zechs could hear Noin scolding him, telling him that he needed to rest. Take a break. Noin. He closed his eyes, his throat tightening. When the telltale burning ceased behind his eyelids, he opened his eyes once more. He left the storage area, and went to the one place he felt totally at peace when he wasn't working on his model, a gift from Talia.
In the cargo hold were the two shuttles that Zechs helped Shawn and Talia buy. He smiled faintly, approaching one shuttle, which Talia named the Constellation. . .the other was the Constitution. Once, those were tall ships, proud maritime vessels, long ago. Perhaps two hundred fifty or three hundred years earlier. Maybe longer. Despite his education, Zechs found the line between Anno Domine and After Colony rather blurry.
He ran his hand over the Constellation. It wasn't a large shuttle, could only carry three people. But it could be used in a variety of ways. Zechs sighed, thinking of the money that helped to fund the shuttles. Years earlier, he set up a secret account under a false name. It was his special emergency fund. Created after the attempted abduction of his sister, it was his intention to use the money as ransom funds, since not even an Oz lieutenant, or even the Lightning Count, made a lot of money. Now, however, there was a new purpose for the money.
"Z, come up here and look at this," Shawn beckoned over the loudspeakers. Startled by the use of his nickname by the older man (the shortened form of his pseudonym was mainly used by Talia and Ciara), Zechs nonetheless left the cargo hold, journeying up to the cockpit. It was actually a short walk, but Zechs' ribs still pained him. And he was dealing with a shortness of breath as well.
The entrance slid open and Zechs entered what Talia had begun to jokingly call the bridge. Shawn glanced over his shoulder and smiled faintly, then stepped to one side as Zechs approached. He indicated something on the radar screen. . .a blip of some kind. Zechs frowned, not understand the significance, until Shawn typed a command into the computer.
Zechs leaned in for a closer look as the ship's onboard computer displayed the remains of a mobile suit. But it wasn't just any mobile suit. . .it was a gundam. And it wasn't just any gundam. . . Zechs' blood ran cold. He looked from the computer, up at Shawn, then back down at the computer. The young ace breathed, "Tallgeese."
. .
.
Talia Malloy was worried about her daughter. In the last few months, ever since their return to space, Ciara became very quiet and introspective. Talia wasn't the only one who noticed this. . .Zechs also noticed the change in the girl he considered a little sister. That wasn't all that troubled Talia. . .she also noticed a change in Shawn.
As she typed up an email to Olga, updating the older woman on the latest news, Talia glanced over at her daughter once more. The young girl was drawing something. . .Ciara had always loved to draw, ever since she was small. According to her art teachers, she had no aptitude, but Talia urged her daughter to ignore what they said. One thing Talia learned from Rina and Annika was that art was to express what was in your heart.
It was something she never forgot, and tried to teach Ciara. She was wondering at first if the lesson hadn't sunk in, since Ciara started refusing her requests to see the pictures. Then, the previous day, Zechs made an off-hand remark about being her age, and Talia realized that her daughter was starting to hit puberty. Talia shuddered. She remembered that time period all too well. She only hoped she was strong enough to deal with Ciara's journey through hell.
While Ciara had little contact with other children, except when they were on the colony, Talia knew that things could get difficult. She ran her hand through her dark hair, murmuring under her breath in Russian. Then she blinked and looked over at Ciara. The girl was focused rather intently on her drawing. . .she didn't seem to have heard Talia's lapse into Russian.
The woman turned her attention back to her email, promising to email Olga in another week, or sooner if there was any news. She hit the 'send' button and pushed herself away from the computer. Her spine crackled in protest of this abuse, as she was sitting for the better part of three hours, and Talia winced. She wouldn't do that again any time soon.
She started out that morning cataloguing the contents of the storage room, then entering the items into the computer, to make sure what they matched with the manifesto/packing list. She offered to mark the boxes as she finished with them, to help Zechs, but he was determined to do his job. She smiled faintly. That was typical of Zechs, though. He needed to feel useful in some way.
She ruffled her daughter's hair as she passed Ciara, earning herself a glare, but Talia only smiled. Her mind moved on, as she thought of Zechs. Yes, he needed to feel useful. Whether it was as a soldier, or a member of this family, he needed a purpose. That thought stopped her as she headed for the storage room. A purpose. Why did that catch her attention? She shook her head. She needed to check on Zechs, make sure he wasn't over-doing it.
//And this time,// she thought ruefully, //I'll get his attention when I enter the room!// It wasn't a good idea to startle him, as she learned the hard way, since his battle instincts were still intact. He was out of the battle for only three months. It would take him years before he became accustomed to peace, if he ever did. Zechs fought for almost fifteen years. But if she could, she would help him. She and the others.
And she liked to think she already helped him, if only in small ways. //Shallow, Tal,// she thought, //real shallow.// Still, she knew she would never forget the look on his face when she presented him with the old airplane model the morning after she returned home from Olga's house. His icy blue eyes went very wide as he accepted the present from her almost reverently. She hadn't had a chance to wrap it, but he didn't seem to care.
And then, unexpectedly, tears filled his eyes. He whispered 'thank you,' and gently placed the model to one side before hugging her fiercely. The strength of the embrace, and the gesture itself, took her breath away. He smiled at her and picked up his new model, scuttling down the hall to his room. Talia stared after him, and Shawn said, "I'll be damned. There's still a kid in there somewhere. Maybe you had the right idea after all. If we didn't have t' worry about him still healin,' and the possibility of him bein' recognized again, I would say we should have taken him t' one of the amusement parks here on L2."
Talia smiled and said, "One step at a time, Shawn." Something occurred to her then. How long was it since someone gave Zechs anything, for no good reason? Just because? Ciara nailed things down further the following day as they began packing their belongings and transporting things to the Pax. The preteen observed that Zechs was very tentative about admitting even now that he was in a lot of pain. He didn't like to admit that he was hurting. That he was less than one hundred percent. Something that Talia noticed as well, but Ciara added, "Mom? Are we the first people to take care of Zechs? Sometimes, he acts like we are."
And things fell into place for Talia. When *was* the last time someone took care of Zechs? Not just physically. . .but when was the last time someone was strong for him, when was the last time someone gave their strength to him, instead of taking theirs from him? There was nothing wrong with leaning on someone else.
But that was a two-way street. She resolved that Zechs would get the strength he needed from her. Her first priority was Ciara, but she knew Zechs would understand that. He felt the same way. Whatever it took, though, she would do what she could to bring about the day when Zechs was ready to watch his father's message. Talia was halfway to the storage room when Zechs' voice broke through her reverie. He said, "Tal? Z here. Could you come up to the cockpit. . .bridge. . .whatever you want to call it? I think. . .there's something Shawn and I think you should see." Talia frowned and headed for the nearest intercom.
She hit 'reply,' and said, "Z, I'm headed for the storage room, I'll be up there in about five minutes. I have a feeling whatever you two are cooking up, Ciara should be there to hear it, too." Zechs laughed, a strained-sounding attempt at a laugh, at least. An icy finger trailed down Talia's spine. She knew Zechs. Whatever she was supposed to see, it royally shook up Zechs. And that wasn't easy to do.
"I don't know how to cook, Talia, you know that. And not even you have the patience to teach me," Zechs replied. She smiled. . .it was a running joke between them after she started teaching him Spanish. She became fluent in the language, thanks first to her classes at the boarding school, then her friendship with Beatriz Escalante. On L2, since there were a fair number of people of Hispanic descent, she learned even more.
"Be up there in about five, Tal out," she replied and hit the 'disconnect' button. She immediately swore under her breath. Dammit, when would she learn not to do that! It wasn't a huge deal. . .the next time this intercom was used, the communications system onboard the vessel would do. . .something. Talia was no mechanic, or even electrician. She just knew that every time she hit 'disconnect' instead of 'release,' the system had to realign or something.
There was no help for it now, but she silently resolved to ask Shawn to take a look at it when he had a chance. She headed back to the rec room. Ciara was still drawing, but she looked up as the door swished open. Talia told her daughter, "Your dad and Zechs have something in the bridge they want us to check out. I have a feeling it's big, because Z sounded a bit. . .strained. And I don't think it was just his ribs." Ciara frowned and set her sketchbook to one side, carefully placing it so no one would see what she was drawing.
She rose to her feet and said, "I hope it's nothing serious. But it probably is, 'cause Zechs doesn't get upset over just anything." //Right you are, sweetheart, Talia thought as her step-daughter joined her and they headed down the hall to the bridge, //and I have a funny feeling that we're about to see a side of Zechs that not even he knew existed.// But there would be time enough for that later.
. .
.
Ciara Malloy couldn't believe what she was hearing. Her father and Zechs found the Tallgeese? Zechs' first gundam? And the prototype of the other gundams? But she thought it was destroyed. . .that was what she surmised (Ciara liked that word, she heard Zechs use it once, and asked him what it meant). At least from the news reports.
"Technically speaking, Tallgeese isn't a gundam, as much of its material is titanium. However, when I defected from Oz and nearly died, Howard and his engineers worked on Tallgeese while I was unconscious. They modified it. . .so I suppose you could say it's half-gundam," the former White Fang leader explained as he, Ciara, and her parents sat around a table in a room just off the bridge.
After viewing the wreckage of the Tallgeese, they all came in here to discuss what they would do about the wreckage. Ciara's mother mused, "So, it's half-gundam and half-titan." Zechs blinked in surprise, and she explained, "Titan. You said that it's half gundam, because of the gundamium that Howard used to repair it. And it's primarily made of titanium. Gundam, gundamium, titan, titanium." Zechs rolled his eyes, and Ciara's mother protested, "What?"
"Nothing. Just. . .nothing," Zechs replied. Ciara glanced over at him, and saw that he was struggling not to laugh. Ciara didn't know why, since her mother was serious. However, she didn't ask. Zechs laced his fingers together, observing, "Shawn wants to retrieve Tallgeese. And. . .I. . .well, it's not that I object to salvaging it. But we have to get these supplies to Sirius. They've waited long enough for help."
"Osiris," Mom corrected, and Zechs blinked again. Ciara's mother explained, "The name of the colony is Osiris. It was primarily settled by Egyptians who left L4 about a century ago. I studied Egyptian history when I was in school, as well as the history of the colonies, and that's when I found out that the Egyptians were originally on L4."
"So, I want to retrieve Tallgeese and Zechs wants t' wait until after we deliver the goods. Tal, what do you think?" Ciara's father asked, interrupting the interesting tidbits Ciara was learning from her mother. He glanced across the table at the females. Ciara's mother sat back, frowning thoughtfully. Ciara knew her opinion would be asked, if only to make it fair. At least according to Zechs and her mother, if not her father.
"I say we wait until we deliver the supplies to Osiris. Like Z says, these people have waited long enough. Tallgeese is a mobile suit. It's waited this long. It can wait a little longer," Ciara's mother finally agreed. She looked at Ciara, asking, "What do you think, honey?" That surprised her. Not that she was asked, but the casualness of the question. As if her mother hadn't even needed to remind herself that Ciara was there.
The girl said softly, "I think it's kinda silly to rescue a mobile suit. It's not real. I mean, it is, but it isn't. The people on Osiris, they're real. Daddy always used to get so mad at Oz, and Romefellar, because they were putting machines, mobile suits, over people." She stopped, but her father motioned her to continue, and Ciara shrugged, saying, "I just think that if we're better than they are, we should just head to the colony. I saw another news report last night." Her voice broke, and her mother put her arm around her shoulders.
"Then we'll go t' the colony. Humans remain our first concern," Ciara's father said softly. Ciara didn't pay much attention as he engaged Zechs in a conversation, hammering out details. The girl was shivering. The status of the colony caused her nightmare to come back. That was why she drew that terrible picture. A man with his throat slashed. Where were these terrible images coming from? What was happening to her?
. .
.
As the small family decided, they continued to Osiris after Shawn made a note of Tallgeese's coordinates. From the day of the meeting, they had about another three days before reaching the colony. As the day wore on after that meeting, Zechs noticed Talia becoming steadily quieter. Not an introspective sort of quiet, but a kind of quiet which he recognized from living with this young woman for so many months.
She was shutting down. . .that was the best way he heard it described. She was shutting down, in order to protect herself and. . .them? Maybe? Zechs didn't know. He did know that it was wise to leave her alone, at least until after she began talking again. So, he spent the rest of the day counting out those damnable boxes, until he got a solid number. Then there was dinner, and Shawn kept up a running dialogue, effectively masking the silence of his womenfolk. . .yes, Ciara was terribly quiet as well.
Zechs didn't start to worry about Talia until the following day. Ciara was more herself, exchanging banter with her father as she sat in one of the chairs on the bridge. Shawn was piloting the Pax, and maintaining the continuing disintegration on Osiris. Zechs learned from Ciara that Osiris was one of the outermost colonies, which was why their journey was taking so long. That, and they were stopping at each of the colonies, to see if they could spare any medical supplies.
For his own part, Zechs was just enjoying the view of the stars, and the sound of his young friend's laughter. But he missed Talia, and at last, he asked, "Shawn, where is Talia? She didn't join us for breakfast, I haven't seen her all day." Shawn turned to look at the younger man, and Zechs was startled to see his friend's face turn slightly pink.
"Ah. . .Talia. . .isn't feelin' very well. She should be fine by the time we reach Osiris. Ciara, your mother separated a box of medical supplies out from the things headed for Osiris. See if you can find any painkillers, and give them to your mother later," Shawn replied. Zechs raised an eyebrow, and as his daughter turned away, Shawn mouthed, "Female troubles."
Zechs didn't understand at first. . .then he felt himself turn bright red. It was truly ridiculous. . .Noin was one of his dearest friends, but they simply never discussed such things. He knew the. . .mechanics, of course. He knew to avoid her during a specific time of the month, and not to take anything she said to heart. But the actual. . .discussion? No. He said only, "I see." Shawn nodded and turned back to what he was doing. Zechs sat back in his seat, relaxing, and murmured, "I still can't get over how beautiful space is, even after all this time. I remember the first time I came up here. After I defected from Oz. I felt so free, Shawn."
"And now you are, lad. Now you are free," Shawn replied with a smile as he turned again to look at Zechs. The older man leaned against the console, a faraway expression appearing in his and he said, "You know, I hated space when I first got out here." Zechs frowned and Shawn explained, "It was so huge. . .so vast. So alien. I grew up in Ireland. Elene loved it up here. She reveled in the open space. . .literally." Zechs laughed, both at the words and the rueful smile that lit Shawn's face. The older man continued, "I promised her, as she was dyin,' that I would bury her in outer space. So she would be out here for all eternity."
Now a spasm of pain crossed his face, and Shawn sighed, "I almost didn't keep that promise. Talia forced me t' do it. She told me that I gave m' word, and she wouldn't let me break m' promise t' Elene. M' God, Zechs, she was just a kid. And she stood there, over my dead wife's body, and vowed that Elene would get the burial she wanted, if Talia had t' die tryin.' I couldn't believe her determination. But, I kept m' promise. And I know now that Talia was right about keepin' m' promise."
"Shawn," Zechs asked hesitantly, not quite sure if he was enough a part of this family to ask the question, but not able to contain his curiosity any longer, "why did you marry Talia? I know you're still in love with Elene." Shawn looked at him, startled, and Zechs felt himself turning red again. Damn, open mouth, insert foot! He said, "Sorry, that wasn't my business."
"Maybe not," Shawn sighed, "but it's a fair question. The easy answer is, Father Maxwell on L2 shamed me int' it, tellin' me that I would destroy Talia's reputation if she traveled wi' me now. She was a young girl, and Ciara was a baby. I was out of m' head wi' grief. Didn't want t' marry again. And Maxwell made sense. I didn't want t' be selfish and ruin a young girl's life, just because I couldn't take care of m'self or m' daughter."
He raked his hand through his dark brown hair, continuing, "It took me years t' realize that I was bein' selfish anyhow. We're in space, who cares what people think? And it's not like people generally care about that sort of thin' these days, but I was raised as a Catholic. . .hell, I'm still a Catholic, and I was taught t' listen t' what Father says. So I married a girl whom I didn't love. . .amazin'ly enough, it didn't ruin our friendship, although, I put m' foot in my mouth up t' m' knee a few times."
Zechs nodded in acknowledgment. Shawn looked at him steadily, then said, "Listen, forget what I said earlier. Why don't you go ahead and make sure Talia's all right? I would do it myself, but I'm a damn coward. I tend to make a mess of things when she's not feeling like herself. Maybe you'll have better luck." Zechs started to demur, then he remembered the nights when she sat beside his bed, quietly maintaining a vigil over his unconscious, feverish form. She wasn't feeling well. She was probably in a lot of pain, if she disappeared for most of the day. Was it really asking so much for him to see if he could comfort her this time?
Zechs knew the answer was 'no.' And it wasn't that he didn't want to help her. . .he worshipped Talia, adored her for everything she did for him. And he was strongly attracted to her. Maybe that was part of the problem. His strong, and ever growing attraction, to Talia. But that was no reason for her to suffer alone. . .he would not be a coward and let her down. He said, "I'll be back. Thanks for being honest with me, Shawn." The older man nodded and Zechs pushed himself to his feet. He didn't know what he would say to Talia, or what he would do. He just knew he had to do something. As he walked away, he acknowledged that sitting by and doing nothing hadn't felt right. Yes. He was taking the right path.
. . .
It took long enough to get rid of him. And Shawn realized that Zechs wanted to go to Talia long before Shawn pushed him out the door. The boy was essentially gentle, despite what he did while leading White Fang. But Talia was Shawn's wife. Therefore, it was his responsibility to be there for her. Shawn ran his hand over his eyes. He told Zechs the truth. . . he almost always managed to mess things up when Talia was dealing with this time of the month. But there was more to it than that. Simply put, Shawn needed Zechs to leave the cockpit. . .the bridge. There was something Shawn needed to do.
He took a deep breath. . .this chased itself in his head for the last day, ever since their meeting to decide what to do about Tallgeese. He dialed the number with only slightly trembling fingers, taking deep, even breaths to ease his nerves. He was playing with fire, he knew that. But each day, Shawn grew more certain that another war was coming. The connection was made almost immediately and Howard beamed at him, saying, "Now this is a surprise, Shawn! To say nothing of an ungodly hour, but I was tinkering in my shop." Shawn smiled in spite of himself. Tinkering in his shop. Yeah, that was one way of putting it. The older man continued, "So, to what do I owe the honor of this call?"
"I need to call in a favor, old friend. For the sake of future generations," Shawn replied. Howard grew serious, and his eyes narrowed. Shawn continued, "I understand that you designed the mobile suit called Tallgeese. That you made modifications to it following Zechs Merquise's defection from Oz. I need your help, Howard."
Howard's eyes narrowed further, and the older man asked, "You need my help to do what, and how does Tallgeese figure in this?" By answer, Shawn punched in the coordinates of where they found Tallgeese. . .or rather, what was left of Tallgeese. The scientist was speechless for a moment. But only for a moment. He quickly recovered and muttered, "Damn, that has more lives than Zechs!"
"Maybe not," Shawn replied and Howard's eyes jerked back to the Irishman. To say that Howard looked stunned was an understatement. Shawn glanced over his shoulder, though he was the only one in the room. . .yes, the coast was clear. . .and he said, "You remember your comment about consoling Ciara, because the lady lieutenant was sure Zechs was still alive?" Howard nodded and Shawn continued, even though the older man's expression told him that Howard already guessed what he was about to say, "Lieutenant Noin was right. Zechs is alive. Critically injured in the destruction of the Libra, but alive. We've been taking care of him for the last few months. No, no questions now, old friend. I have a lot to tell you."
. .
.
When Zechs reached Talia's room, he hesitated. What did he do? Maybe she was sick. . .literally sick. Maybe she didn't want anyone around. And maybe, he thought with a sigh, you should stop being such a coward and do this already! With that thought firmly in place, he slipped into Talia's room and quietly called her name.
"Go away, Zechs," a lump from the middle of the bed answered in a hoarse voice. The young man blinked. Talia? Yes, he could just make out the outline of a body, curled up into a fetal position on the bed. But she didn't sound angry. She sounded. . .like she was in pain. Like she was alone, and she didn't want anyone's pity.
That stayed him. When he would have left, that possibility forced him to walk further into the room. He asked softly, "Isn't there anything I can do for you, Tal? You saved my life, you took care of me." You loved me, you gave me an amazing gift, just because. The thoughtfulness of that gesture still took his breath away. She just wanted to give him a gift. As if she hadn't given him enough already?
A hoarse laugh, then a moan, sounded from the bed, and Talia replied, "I appreciate it, Z, but there's nothing you can do. Most months, it's not this bad. I guess everything's catching up all at once." Zechs didn't ask what she meant by 'everything catching up. He already knew, and felt badly. She was suffering in part because of him. That made him all the more determined to do something. Even though Talia continued, "I'll be fine in a few days. I just need time for those wonderful pills to kick in." Still, Zechs didn't leave.
Instead, he moved a little further into the room. By now, he was almost to the bed. He thought desperately about what he could do. She told him that there was nothing he could do, but Zechs Merquise didn't take such a challenge lightly. It got him into trouble in the past. . .he was sure it would happen again. Very carefully, he sat down on the bed beside her, hoping that he didn't make things worse. He pulled the covers away from Talia's face. She was crying. From the pain? Which pain? Zechs wasn't sure where that came from, but it felt true to him. There were so many different kinds of pain.
"Talia," he said softly, "Let me do this for you. In my heart, I'm still a soldier, and a soldier is useless without someone to protect. Someone to. . .someone who needs him. Let me take care of you, just this once. Tell me what I can do. You're stronger than I am, but let me give you my strength this time, in whatever way I can."
There was a long silence, and Zechs was afraid he went too far. Then Talia looked up at him and whispered, "Would you. . .just hold me? Please? Just. . .hold onto me? Until I fall asleep?" Zechs answered her by scooping her into his arms and holding her tightly. His ribs protested the movement, but he ignored it. Ignored, too, the stab of desire that accompanied the feel of Talia's body against his own. Instead, he focused on the slender woman in his arms.
Her tears soaked his shirt, but Zechs didn't pull away. He was never comfortable in these situations, but he didn't allow himself to pull away. Instead, he bent his head to kiss the top of hers, murmuring endearments in German and French, and any other language he could remember. Yes, she was stronger than he was. . .something Zechs realized long ago. But at this moment, she was just a weeping, lonely, fragile young woman. And she needed Zechs. That was something he could never resist. Someone who needed him. He held her tightly, long after her sobs eased. . .long after she fell asleep. He just held her.
. . .
Once Shawn finished his story, all Howard could say was, "I'll be damned. The boy does it again. Dammitall, the kid has more lives than a cat. He and Heero Yuy both. Damn kid!" Shawn wasn't sure if he meant Heero or Zechs, and truly, after the events on L2, it was hard for him to tell the difference between Heero and Zechs in some ways.
There was a long silence as Howard sifted through what Shawn had told him. The young Irishman knew that his friend had a lot to consider. At last, the engineer said softly, "So how is he? Now that he's recovered from whatever happened to him. . .how is he?" There were actually two questions in the one. . .the spoken and the unspoken questions.
Shawn chose to answer the unspoken question first, explaining, "I've pieced thin's t'gether from what Zechs told me, and from what I've heard durin' one of his nightmares. That gundam, Wing Zero, messed wi' his mind. I've heard about this Zero system, and I think that had a lot t' do wi' it. Zechs is convinced it only happened because he's flawed. Hell, who isn't flawed? But you know Zechs."
Howard laughed shortly, and Shawn continued, his earlier rage seeping into his voice, "Then his brat sister went and surrendered t' Romefellar." Howard started to protest, but Shawn knew what he would say and warned, "Don't try t' defend herm, Howard. I know exactly what you're about t' say. And it won't do any good. As far as I'm concerned, she's an incompetent little moron who thinks wars can be ended by gettin' rid of the weapons. I have no intention of provin' her wrong, but it's just a matter of time before someone does. I want t' be ready for that day, Howard. And that's how you come int' this. Yes, now I'm gettin' t' the point. I want your help in rebuildin' Tallgeese."
"For Zechs?" Howard guessed and Shawn bobbed his head once. Howard continued, "I'd be glad to help, but are you sure Zechs is ready for this? You said yourself that he's still having nightmares. Is he ready to confront what he almost became, what he almost did?" Shawn sat back, rubbing his hand over his eyes. The spoken question.
"No. Not right now. That's why I want you t' meet us on L2, once we're finished wi' what we're doin' up here. Zechs isn't ready. He's still healin,' both physically and mentally. Howard, I didn't just ask you because you designed Tallgeese. But you care for Zechs as much as I do. I think it's a safe bet t' say that you love him like your own son. No matter what he's done, that remains. The question here, Howard, is you. Can you forgive him?" Shawn asked.
Howard lowered his eyes, looking away from the screen, away from Shawn. The young Irishman didn't speak, understanding that Howard needed time to think. Despite the intervening months, Shawn knew his old friend had to still be angry. . .to feel betrayed. He said softly, "Contact me when you're ready, Howard. Whatever your answer may be."
"I appreciate that, Shawn. I have a lot to think about. And no matter what I decide, what you told me will not be heard. I will tell no one. But since this seems to be a day for revealing secrets, it's only fair," Howard said quietly. Shawn frowned, not understanding, and the older man continued, "I found some old news reels on diskette, footage of Raoul and Katerina Peacecraft in the days before the fall of the Sank Kingdom. I think you should take a look at what I found. I'm uploading them to you now."
"Okay, I'll take a look at them. Howard. . .thank you. No matter what you choose t' do, I will understand. . .and thank you," Shawn told his friend. Howard just nodded, his eyes filled with too many emotions to name, and the connection was broken. The upload was still in process and Shawn frowned. What had Howard sent him, and why was it so important?
. . .
Zechs was wrong. Talia wasn't asleep. . .she was close to it, but she hadn't drifted off. Not yet. It was only a matter of time before she finally gave up. But for right now, she was content to simply huddle against Zechs' body, drawing strength from his warmth and proximity. It was so long since she allowed herself to lean on someone, on anyone. Z's hand smoothed over her hair and he continued whispering to her in French and German. Talia, who learned both languages in school, smiled sleepily. So sweet. He was such a sweet boy. If Talia wasn't whom she was, and wasn't so close to Katerina Peacecraft, she would have been stunned that this was the same young man who tried to destroy Earth.
But Rina was her best friend, and she expected such gentleness from Rina's son. Sometimes, between sleep and wakefulness, Rina seemed very close. Always smiling, always serene, always loving. In those times, Rina seemed close enough to touch. . .she seemed to welcome Talia. But before Talia could reach out to her lost friend, she would wake up. Oh God, how that hurt. Talia closed her eyes, smiling in spite of herself as Zechs gently rocked her. As if she was a child. . .as she rocked him when he was a child. She wondered if he remembered her yet. She doubted it.
That was fine, though. Talia didn't mind. The longer he went without remembering, the better it would be. Talia couldn't face his anger right now. Though the pain eased, it was still there. It wasn't just the pain of the cramps, or the emotional roller coaster created by her hormones. There was another pain just below the surface. It was that pain which prompted her to ask Zechs to hold her. And God help her, she wasn't ashamed of her weakness, or in the way she reveled in how close he was. But he believed she was asleep. He was murmuring soothing nonsense now, as he lowered her to the bed. Talia sighed. He would leave her now, taking his warmth and his strength with him.
She prepared herself for his departure. Prepared herself for the feeling which would return, feelings that his presence chased away. But he didn't leave. His arms remained tight around her as he lay down beside her, his long frame stretched out on the bed that was barely long enough for the five foot two inch Talia. He muttered a curse under his breath, and it was all Talia could do to keep from laughing. But she didn't. . .not even when the long blond tendrils of hair began tickling her face. Zechs would stay with her. He wouldn't leave her. Comforted by this knowledge, Talia at last fell into a peaceful sleep.
. . .
Shawn remembered the news reels that Howard sent him. More to the point, he remembered the disaster that devastated the countryside in the weeks before the Alliance attack. He was twenty-one, newly married to Elene, and they watched the footage on tv. A land mine, left from an ancient war, exploded in the middle of a small village in the Sank Kingdom. Two days after the disaster, the Peacecraft family visited what remained of the town. Princess Relena remained behind. . .she was only three years old, after all. And the King wanted to protect his daughter from this a little longer.
The king and queen walked through the town, hand in hand. The camera lingered on the beautiful, stricken face of Katerina Peacecraft as she comforted two children who were orphaned in the blast. The land mine was under the stones of the town square. Shawn knew how unstable explosives could be over a period of several years. . .the town never knew what hit them.
Behind the king and queen were another couple. . .a man, about the same age as the king, with short dark hair, and a woman, with waist-length reddish hair. They were not touching in any way. . .barely seemed to know each other. The reporter explained that the second man was Alexei Galinov, a minor Russian noble with long-standing ties to King Peacecraft. The woman was his wife Nathalie.
Bringing up the rear was a young girl with two little boys, both around age five or six. Shawn grinned, realizing for the first time that the little blond boy was none other than Prince Milliardo. . .Zechs Merquise. He didn't know who the other boy was, until the reporter said, "Guiding Prince Milliardo is Lady Natasha Galinova. The other little boy with Prince Milliardo and Lady Natasha is Petyr Galinov."
For the first time, Shawn looked at Natasha Galinova. . .and received the shock of his life. She had long, curly dark hair. A serious expression, especially as she looked about the ruined town. A faint, indulgent smile that appeared when she looked at her excited little brother and the more solemn little prince. He was looking at sixteen year old Natalia Gaston. . . the young girl who eventually became his wife. Natasha Galinova. Natalia Gaston.
Talia. Oh my God. Everything fell into place. Talia's familiarity with Zechs and his family. Her reaction whenever he mentioned her parents. Her fierce determination to save Zechs. Her immediate inclination to defend Relena whenever Shawn became annoyed with the child's attempts to play diplomat. Shawn knew that Talia had ties to the Sank Kingdom, that she knew Zechs and Relena as children. . .
But this? This blew his mind. Talia. . .was of noble birth? Yet, it made sense. The way Olga always treated her. He barely noticed when he first met her, all those years ago, that she had a trace of a Russian accent. He hadn't really paid attention. . .hell, his mind was on Elene. But Elene was gone now. And Shawn had to figure out just what the hell he did next.
. . .
"No change?" Talia asked as she entered the bridge. Shawn looked over his shoulder as his wife approached. Three days passed since Howard's revelations, since he sent Zechs to do his job. He looked at Talia, still struggling with what he learned. His wife. Talia. The woman who was at his side for all these years. . .Lady Natasha Galinova.
He must have been staring at her for a long time, for Talia blinked at him and repeated, "Shawn? You still haven't been able to maintain contact with the colony for more than a few minutes?" Shawn shook his head, turning back to his task, and Talia muttered, "I got a bad feeling about this. Storm or no storm in the outer atmosphere, something feels terribly wrong."
"Did you have those same instincts when the Sank Kingdom fell?" Shawn blurted out. The temperature in the air dropped about twenty degrees, and Shawn immediately regretted his stupidity. Much to his surprise, Talia answered him after only a few minutes.
"Yes. I just didn't understand what they meant at the time," she replied finally. Brilliant, just brilliant, Shawn, he swore at himself. Talia sighed, pushing her hair back from her eyes, "I got early warning, from a friend. And, other sources. . .but I was a stupid sixteen year old kid who didn't understand. Not until it was too late. And by then. . ."
"It wasn't your fault," Shawn said softly. Talia's shoulders rose and fell, and he wondered if he should tell her that he knew everything. That she was Lady Natasha Galinova, the daughter of Alexei and Nathalie Galinov. That once upon a time, she was the best friend and confidante of Katerina Peacecraft. He learned that from his research.
And then Zechs entered the bridge, a worried look on his young face. He asked, evidently unaware that he interrupted a Moment, "Still nothing from the colony?" Talia shook her head, and glancing at his wife, Shawn could tell that she was unaware that the kid interrupted a Moment. Figured. During the last few days, Shawn also realized a number of things, on his own. Things that he didn't like. He knew it started back when he and Tal rescued Zechs. It wasn't the kid's fault. It was just the way things were.
"Nope, and we're trying to. . .hang on a minute," Tal said, interrupting herself. Both Shawn and Zechs joined her at the console. She was typing out a series of commands into the computer, her face tight with concern. Then she swore, in an impressive display of Russian, German, and Irish profanity. Shawn blinked, and looked over at Zechs. The young soldier looked just as impressed with Talia's range.
Once her swearing fit was concluded, Talia blurted out, "I'm such an idiot! All this time, they were trying to make contact with us! My Morse code is rusty, I'm having the computer translate it for us." Morse code? Oh, this did NOT bode well. Not in the least. Shawn's own sense of unease grew as he viewed the dots and dashes on the screen.
It got worse. Zechs inhaled sharply and Tal looked at him in concern, perhaps thinking that his ribs were causing him pain again. They weren't that lucky. Zechs looked at the pair, and said softly, "The attack was hours ago. They're only hours from destruction. And we're the only vessel within a respectable distance."
"Huh?" Shawn asked intelligently, looking from the young soldier to the screen, and back. He couldn't read Morse code. It wasn't necessary for him to learn, not even when he was playing soldier as a boy. Shawn asked, "What are you talking about, the computer is still translating the message?" And then the words appeared in English, and Shawn's blood ran cold.
Talia read aloud, though it wasn't necessary, "Mayday, mayday. Colony under attack at oh two hundred hours. Main power source hit. Imminent destruction." She glanced at the chronometer, murmuring, "We should be there in about twenty minutes. The attack was four hours ago. Zechs, do you remember enough of Morse code to send them a message?" The boy nodded and Talia explained, "Tell them that the Pax is twenty minutes away."
"Consider it done," the young soldier replied, sliding into the chair at the console. He put on the headphones, as if he always did it, and began to tap out the message with a professionalism Shawn could only envy. Until he remembered how Zechs acquired that professionalism.
He was glad now that he agreed to wait on the recovery of the Tallgeese. With refugees aboard, they would need the additional space. Talia said softly, "I need to rearrange the storage room. They'll have wounded, and they'll need the storage room for a medical room. The medical supplies are already there. I just need to arrange things."
"What can I do?" Shawn asked, wondering if he sounded like a whining child. Before his wife could respond, the Irishman added, "Never mind. The shuttles can be used as a refuge for a few children, so I'll make sure those are locked down." Talia nodded, her eyes distant as she considered her next move. Or was she remembering another day of destruction? Shawn didn't know. And given the shambles he made of their marriage, it was likely he would never find out.
. . .
Ciara was awakened by the sound of feet pounding past her door, as well as the dream. Again. She rubbed her hand over her eyes, even as the door opened. Her mother's slight body was framed in the light from the hallway, and she said softly, "Ciara, honey, it's time to get up. I need your help. Osiris was attacked early this morning."
Ciara gaped at her mother, but wasted no time asking stupid questions. She flung back her covers and scooted from the bed. It wasn't necessary for her to ask questions, for her mother continued in that soft voice, "Zechs is sending a message to the colonists now, and I need help in rearranging the boxes in the storage room."
Ciara said nothing as she dressed, but once she and her mother were headed for the storage room, the girl asked, "Mom, what happened? I know you said that Osiris was attacked, but why are we making room. . .?"
Ciara's voice trailed off and she stopped in mid-stride, looking at her mother with disturbed blue-gray eyes. The girl asked, very softly, "The colony is going to blow up, isn't it? Just like when Quatre Winner attacked those colonies." Her mother hesitated, then nodded. Ciara swallowed hard, and her mother reached out, touched her shoulder.
"Kee, I know this is hard for you. But we have to hurry. The attack was four hours ago, and from what the missive said, the attack caused a great deal of damage to the main power source. That doesn't mean that they don't have any power, it means that the power source will blow up. According to what Zechs just told me, while I was on my way here, the generator will reach critical mass in less than three hours," her mother said.
"It takes that long?" Ciara wondered. Seven hours? She began walking again, and did the math in her head. The attack caused damage to the generator. . .bad enough that they couldn't fix it, but it would take seven hours for it to reach critical mass. Ciara didn't know how that was possible, but she wouldn't argue with her mother.
"Yes, they were able to buy themselves some time. Don't ask me how, Zechs didn't explain. The thing is, there are three hundred colonists left on the colony. The others were able to take shuttles off. And we're the only vessel in the vicinity. So we gotta help them. We'll be there in tw. . .no, in fifteen minutes. We have three hours to evacuate three hundred people," her mother explained. Ciara felt a chill. Three hundred people? On this ship?
Her mother reached the storage and swept her identi-key through the security system. She saw Ciara's expression and touched her shoulder again, saying softly, "I know this will be hard, honey. We'll be putting people in the cargo bay, in the shuttles, and in other spare rooms. If need be, I'll bunk with you, and your father can bunk with Zechs. We'll get through this."
Ciara nodded numbly. Her mom always said that, and it was always true. But right now, she wasn't worried about the colonists. She was actually afraid of her mother. She knew this woman, Natalia Malloy, all of her life. This was the woman who took care of her, loved her, comforted her. And Ciara realized with a dizzying certainty, that she didn't know her at all.
Who was this woman, who seemed to know exactly what to do in such a situation? Ciara thought back to the conversation she overheard between her mother and Olga. Her mother speaking in Russian. A thousand other little unexplained mysteries. Like her connection to Zechs. What was going on here? And more importantly, would Ciara lose her mother over it?
. . .
In truth, Talia didn't recognize herself, either. Just knew what had to be done. Perhaps the memory of Kit Rogers all those years ago penetrated Talia's protective armor more than she realized. Talia remembered very little of those hours, on a conscious level at least. What she did know was there was no time to waste. And so, in the time it took for Shawn to bridge the distance to the colony and land their vessel, Ciara and Talia arranged the medical supplies in the storage room effectively. Ciara suggested moving some of the supplies to another room, which they did as Shawn completed his checklist.
Now, twenty minutes after their landing, the mother and daughter were helping with the evacuation of Osiris. The government of the colony used the time wisely, urging the citizens to pack as much as they could in as few bags as possible. Shawn pointed out that there wasn't enough room for the bags and the people, and was informed that a separate shuttle would take the bags. He was just to get the people to safety.
And the flood of refugees seemed never ending. All were frightened, all seemed half sick with terror, and some were enraged. Zechs was on the bridge, keeping tabs on the generator. Between the evacuation and helping the medics get organized in the various medical rooms, Talia lost all track of time. Then Zechs said over the loudspeaker, "Attention! This is the co- pilot speaking. The reactor is about to blow. . .I need everyone down and settled. Hang onto something solid, because I can't promise a smooth take- off."
"Do you have everything under control?" Tal asked the young doctor, who kind of reminded her of Mark in the old 'Battle of the Planets' vids she watched with Petyr, years earlier. Not all of the colonists were Egyptians. . .it just started out that way. The young man bobbed his head, offering her a shy smile, and Talia returned the smile, breezing out of the room and heading up to the bridge.
"It's bad?" she asked Zechs. The blond head bobbed once and Ciara almost ran into Tal from behind. Tal gently pushed her daughter from the room, saying, "I need you to help M. . .I mean, that young doctor in the infirmary. He says he has everything under control, but. . ."
"Belay that," Zechs said tersely, "we don't have time. Everyone needs to get into a stable seat, or something. The colony is about to blow, and we have to get out of here NOW." Talia blinked, seeing a return of the soldier and commander, but pushed her daughter to a seat, strapping her in. She took the chair beside Zechs, who said softly, "I'm sorry. But one of the engineers. . .he's staying down there, to buy more time. And. . ."
Talia put her hand over Zechs, squeezing gently. He took a deep breath and finished his checklist. He started the engine several moments earlier, and they were ready to blast off. Shawn was already seated, and strapped in, his face very pale. Talia understood. Only one more person would die this day, but it was one too many. Four hundred died in the initial attack. That was four hundred too many. Four hundred they couldn't save.
And then there was no more time to think, about anything, for they were blasting off, hurtling away from the dying colony. The engineer's voice was very soft now, but Talia could hear him, even over the roar of the engines. Ticking off the moments in a tired voice. Talia glanced over at Zechs, who mouthed, 'internal injuries.' Talia felt sick.
As they slowly reached their safest point, the engineer mumbled, "Three. Always knew you were a hero. This just proves it. Two. No, no argument. The world needs its heroes. One. Good-bye, Lightning Count, hero of Osiris. It was go. . ." The transmission cut out. On the screen, there was a single puff of smoke, where the reactor. . .power generator. . .whatever you wanted to call it. . .was located. And that puff of smoke set off a horrifying chain reaction. One section of the colony blew up, then another, then another. It was like watching fiery dominos.
The three adults sat in stunned silence as the colony blew up. Into the silence that followed, Zechs said in a thick voice, "It was good to work with you, too, my friend." Then he buried his face in his hands, his slim body shaking. Shawn removed himself from his seat and quietly tapped their destination into the computer.
"I can take it from here. . .get him back t' bed. He's wiped out," Shawn said softly. Talia nodded, unbuckling herself, at the same time Ciara freed herself from her own restraints. Together, the mother and daughter helped the young hero of Osiris to his feet, and led him from the bridge. It was a long morning, for all of them.
. . .
So tired. He was so tired. As the door slid silently shut behind Talia and Ciara, Zechs sank back on his bed and closed his eyes, trying to block out the mental images. The ones he saw with his own eyes, as the colony blew up. And the ones he didn't see. The ones he heard from Raleigh, the engineer on Osiris. Call it a blessing or a curse, Zechs had a vivid imagination. From what Raleigh told him, he could make the pictures in his head. Far too easily. It wasn't so easy to get those pictures out of his head.
It took some rigging on the part of both Raleigh and Zechs, but they set up a bonafide radio. Zechs at first gave his assumed name of Zachary Gaston. Until Raleigh ordered the other men, the men who were staying with the generator as well, to get to safety, along with their families. Raleigh was dying, and he knew it. They were still whole. Good luck for them, bad luck for Raleigh. For the men who died in the initial attack. They thought at first that the falling debris didn't damage the reactor at all. It was SOP to check these things. And for the first hour, everything looked fine. But they hadn't counted on the attack screwing up the computers.
In that first hour, pressure steadily built up. Raleigh still wasn't sure what happened. The able bodied men realized the reactor was overheating, and they had at most three hours before it blew. So they cooled it as best they could, buying the colonists as much time as they could, until help arrived. Until the Pax arrived. Once Raleigh knew the Pax landed, he ordered the other men to leave. They argued with him, but he was adamant. He would die before they reached Lyonnesse, where the other colonists evacuated. He would stay at his post 'til the bitter end. Zechs flinched, hearing that, as he remembered his final conversation with Heero Yuy.
Once they were all gone, Raleigh said weakly, "We're quite the pair, aren't we, Lightning Count?" Zechs' head jerked up, and he stared at the radio in horror. Raleigh knew???? The pieces fit, as Zechs thought about it. The way Raleigh never shushed the other men while Zechs was speaking. Like he didn't want them to hear Zechs' voice. The other man coughed and continued, "Hell, I knew who you were. . .as soon as you spoke, Zechs Merquise. You weren't the only White Fang who realized we were wrong. I came to Osiris after the final battle, offer my expertise. Figured it was my way of atoning."
Zechs tried to apologize, tried. . .he wasn't even sure what he meant to do. What he wanted to say. But Raleigh silenced him with another cough, then said in a trembling voice, "Listen to me, Lightning Count. I know what. . .you're going to say. But the truth is. . .we were all responsible. Not just you. Not just Quinze Barton. All of us."
Zechs started to protest, but Raleigh wouldn't let him. He continued, "But you took all the responsibility. . .on your shoulders. . .and the rest of us let you. A boy of twenty. . .a child who was never permitted. . .to be a child. You feel ashamed? I'm almost. . .forty years old, Zechs. . .and I allowed a boy half my age. . .to take the blame for. . .something I had a part in. You shouldn't be. . .apologizing to me. I should apologize to you."
There was another long silence, then Raleigh said softly, "Five minutes before meltdown. I just heard. . .from the surface. Evacuation almost complete. Are they good people. . .the ones who took you in? Have they taken good care. . .of you?" Zechs blinked back his tears, not wanting the other man to hear the evidence in his voice.
"The best," the younger man answered in a hoarse voice. He paused, managed a smile, then said, "The wife, Talia. . .she bought a model airplane for me. An ancient one. . .one of the first airplanes ever built. I asked her why. She said. . .because she wanted to. Because I helped them to buy the Pax. They saved my life, and she was thanking me. Buying me. . ."
Zechs couldn't continue. He still couldn't wrap his mind around the concept. Raleigh said weakly, "Good. Glad to hear that. Three minutes to meltdown. I can't talk for much longer, Colonel Zechs. But I wanted you to know. . .I'm real proud to. . .have served with you. Both in White Fang, and now. Not proud of what we. . .almost did, but proud that. . .I wasn't the only one. . .who realized that. . .we were wrong."
And then things went so fast. Realizing he had to get moving, Zechs initiated the engines. And he told the others that, telling the passengers that take-off was imminent. Seconds later, Shawn, Talia, and Ciara appeared on the bridge. It was time to go. Now. As they fastened themselves into their seats, Zechs took off, leaving Osiris behind them. As they had reached the safety area, Raleigh spoke his last. . .one last message of forgiveness. Atonement. "Three. Always knew you were a hero. This just proves it. Two. No, no argument. The world needs its heroes. One. Good-bye, Lightning Count, hero of Osiris. It was go. . ."
And then Raleigh was dead. Like Walker. Like Otto. Once more, Zechs did his best, and his best wasn't good enough. He lay on his side, tears streaming down his face. The door slid open behind him, then Talia was beside him, cradling him in his arms. Zechs had no energy left to fight her. He buried his face against her sweatshirt and wept. For Raleigh, for Walker, for Otto. For the four hundred people who died today, for no good reason.
Talia just held him. Didn't speak. Didn't tell him that it wasn't his fault. Just held him while he cried, just let him cry. And for once, he wasn't ashamed of drawing from her strength. He had none of his own left. He gave what he had to Raleigh. And Raleigh was dead.
. . .
The journey to Lyonnesse, a French colony about a day's travel from the late Osiris, was spent healing. The exhausted family took turns helping the survivors in whatever way they could. Except Zechs, who hadn't left his room since the colony was destroyed. Shawn figured he should leave the boy alone. He had demons of his own to face. Talia went in for a few hours, after she checked on the survivors. Said he needed to heal.
He remained in his room, even after the survivors were safely in the custody of the Lyonnesse officials. The survivors wanted to thank him. They hadn't cared what his name was. . .only that he helped to save them. The Pax and its crew remained on Lyonnesse for only a few hours, long enough to unload its passengers, and the much needed supplies. Then Shawn took off once more. Now, a few hours later after that departure, he was once more alone in the bridge. Talia was sleeping, Ciara was sitting with Zechs, perhaps fearing for his sanity.
But he was grateful that he was alone when he got the transmission from Howard. He typed the access code into the computer, allowing him vid access to his friend. Howard didn't look happy. He said without preamble, very unlike Howard, "I've thought about what you said. And, I heard about what happened on Osiris. Zechs piloted the ship away from the colony before it blew, didn't he?" Shawn nodded.
"He's takin' baby steps toward redemption, Howard," the younger man replied. Howard nodded. His eyes were distant, and Shawn dampened his desire to prod Howard's decision out of him. His decision was already made, and Shawn already knew what conclusion Howard reached. Knew it as soon as the message first came through. But the words needed to be said. Out of respect for his long-time friendship with the older man, the words needed to be said.
And Howard said the words, telling Shawn, "I'm in, Shawn. All the way. For Tallgeese, and Zechs. And, I'll keep my mouth shut. Until Zechs is ready. Satisfactory?" Shawn nodded. The older man took a deep breath, then continued, "Right then. Are you heading to retrieve the Tallgeese? Or, do you have other plans?"
Howard knew him too well. Shawn replied quietly, "Not quite yet. First, I have a rendezvous with the marauders who attacked Osiris. Four hundred one people died, Howard. Four hundred one, and that's not counting whoever dies of their injuries on Lyonnesse. They attacked a helpless colony, and they think they'll get away wi' it. I'll prove them wrong. I'll prove them wrong, if I have t' die t' do it."
The look on Howard's face told him that he understood. Shawn thought so. For years, the Irishman allowed boys to do his fighting for him, children. He looked for a way to bring that to an end, to start fighting against predators himself. The marauders who attacked Osiris, who killed more than four hundred people, gave him a reason.
No. . .they provided him a place to start. As he closed out his conversation with Howard, Shawn rose to his feet and stared into the endless vastness of space. He remembered his promise to his dying wife, that he would 'bury' her out here. He thought of her casket floating peacefully through the silent night, and then he thought of the four hundred people who died in agony. For them, for her, there would be justice. Vengeance.
It was many years since he last spoke Irish, aside from endearments. Before Grania's death. But there was one word that he remembered clearly, because of Grania's death. A cold smile stretched across his lips as he whispered to the unanswering night, "You have met the God of Death, that boy from L2, Duo Maxwell. Now it is time for you to meet Dioltas. And you'll find that he has even less mercy than Duo Maxwell. Death can be merciful. Revenge is not."