Nanu's Story – The Questions Begin.

***Nanu***

She's curled up in a ball, hugging her knees. It's very cold and very dark. Her breathing seems loud.

What happened today? She doesn't know.

***

When Neo left her in her room, Nanu had sat on her bed for what seemed like hours, staring at the wall. Thinking. Coming to terms with what the Matrix was. And wondering what in hell she was supposed to do next.

Such a cliched line – why me? But very relevant, Nanu thought. She had nothing to offer the crew. Nothing. Trinity was right, she was a liability.

And why did Neo put so much faith in her? Why did he argue with Trinity over Nanu, who was nothing at all? Nothing at all.

But, then again, how had she known about the Matrix? She had read the entry on the forum.

How had she known that was Neo? He had said, or Trin had said, that he was 'the One'.

It had been an educated guess really, that had turned out to be right.

The tangled logic made no sense. Nanu was very confused; part of her had no idea what was going on, another part felt like all this was perfectly normal.

And another part was finding these new experiences all too familiar.

Some things she didn't know, or she had forgotten. Finding out about the AI, the machines, and the power plant, had not been so much a revelation as it had been a reminder. She had known it already, the knowledge buried in the back of her mind. But how had it gotten there? And why hadn't it come out before?

Being alone had been too loud with thought, and Nanu couldn't sit doing nothing any more. She had gotten up, opened her door, and begun exploring. She had felt a vague need to know where Neo was, just to know what he was doing, as well as the rest of the crew. She wanted to know what was happening on the ship.

So she had gone down the hall, treading softly, listening at the thick metal doors for sounds within. All were empty but two, regular breathing from one, raised voices from the other; Neo and Trinity. Nanu had listened briefly, then ducked into the next room when Neo came out.

It was Gavin's room. He was lying on his bunk, dozing. When she entered he rolled over a little, raising his head sleepily.

"What – ?"

"Shh, go back to sleep Gavin." And she'd snuck out again as soon as Neo was gone.

The ship was like an intriguing maze, like climbing through the innards of a mechanical insect. Ladders, stairs, split floors, platforms with railings just waiting to be climbed over; changing levels was like being on an adventure playground or jungle gym. All it needed was a swing set.

In her old life, Nanu had not been an active person, because that meant being on a team of some sort, and that meant interaction with people. People who made no effort to like her, people who gave her funny looks because she wore the same jeans and coat to school everyday, because she didn't wear make up or read magazines.

So Nanu had avoided people.

Now in the real world, she was amazed at what she could do. Her reconstructed muscles were flat, hard and strong. She could do chin-ups with one hand, stretch like she never could before; she felt so alive now.

But there was one skill Nanu had in both worlds; silence. She could move like a ghost. It was harder with boots on a steel floor, but in her explorations, Nanu had been a shadow, going where she pleased about the ship with not even Tank at the desk knowing what she was about. It was so much fun.

She had seen Tod; oiling and triple-checking the jack-in chairs, Achi; stocktaking their powdered food and water supplies, Key; cleaning instruments in the infirmary, and Gavin; still asleep.

Which had left Trinity and Neo.

Trin was in her room.

It was during that conversation that Nanu had caught a hint of something in her head. Nothing intrusive, just a sense of receiving information from somewhere outside herself. It was the most peculiar feeling.

Suddenly she had known what Trin thought of her, that she was afraid, wary, distrustful, and worried, mostly about Neo. Nanu had the feeling that she never gave anything away, ever, and Trin's face certainly gave no hint of what she was thinking.

Which was why she had been shocked when Nanu had said, "I know you don't like me because you're afraid. You're afraid I'm a danger to the crew and to Neo." Such a statement could be deduced, it was obvious why Trin did not like Nanu, but for the girl to add in 'afraid' was what had stilled Trinity's breath for an instant. Surprise had registered, and Nanu had heard it. It had seemed that she could read Trinity's mind.

Which scared Nanu senseless.

She had left. Quickly.

For lack of anything else to do, she returned to the galley, and poured a bowl of goop. She tried to ignore how natural the action was, holding the bowl under the dispenser and pulling the lever, gently, so it did not splash or spill anywhere. She had known where the spork drawer was, where the water canister was, where the mugs were stored. How? Nanu didn't particularly want to know that.

She'd sat on the table, thinking, as she ate. A brief regret went through her for not appreciating flavour-bearing food while she had it, although it was just code. She missed the taste of processed cheese, the silky texture of a milkshake, the dry stringy feel of over-cooked meat.

Goop was like cereal or oatmeal with way too much watery milk, and had no taste.

But halfway through the bowl, she had stopped minding.

Trin had said Neo was on the bridge, and Nanu had known, once she was told, that he was on the bridge, looking through the front window of the cockpit, flying the ship through a labyrinth of tunnels and sewers.

But he wasn't any more, he was looking for Nanu. That part of her mind that had heard Trin was now hearing Neo. He was talking to . . . who?

Tank. Asking him if he'd seen her. There was an annoyed and worried feeling when Tank said no. Then . . . asking Tod, although he was also on the 'Deck. More worry at his answer.

Not fear or anything, just wanting to find Nanu, with a vague need to ask, something . . .

Nanu listened as Neo found Key, then as he checked out the storeroom and spoke to Achi.

Then he went to Trin. Nanu concentrated, and the words became clearer, understandable. She no longer saw the galley wall in front of her. She seemed to be standing in Trinity and Neo's cabin, watching as they talked. The images and sounds she received from both of them blurred together, and Nanu saw the scene like a hidden camera, building her own vision and no longer looking solely through Neo's eyes.

When Neo left for the galley, Nanu began to come, slowly, back to herself. A part of her subconscious knew Neo was coming down the hall, watching his feet, but her conscious was analysing Trin's words, "Too damn intuitive for her own good," did Trin guess what Nanu had done?

"Nanu?" She looked up – Neo.

"Yes?"

The feelings came back, Nanu opened up the block between her mind and Neo's. He was confused, not knowing what to say or do. Feeling awkward was rare for him.

He talked about nothing much, then he mentioned sentinels. Thoughts occurred to him; the first time he had seen a Squiddy. And memories welled up from the depths of Nanu's mind, memories that weren't hers and weren't Neo's, and she knew they were the same as the memories of the Matrix.

Nanu was scared, she didn't know where these things were coming from, and she could see, as if through someone else's eyes, a Squiddy rearing over a ship, staring with red eyes into the darkened cockpit, arms and claws coming up, then dropping, and then the Squiddy sweeping away down the tunnel from whence it came.

The vision cleared, and Nanu could feel Neo's hand on her cheek, and see him looking at her closely, he was so close she could almost smell him.

She frowned, and he straightened and moved back. He was worried for her now, and afraid of her at the same time. He asked her what happened, and she wanted to explain, but Tod came in and the moment was lost.

Nanu left, and she felt Neo leave in a different direction a moment later. She blocked him out of her head then, not wanting to intrude again. And then she hid in her room, curled up in the dark with her eyes shut.

***

Nanu can't sleep. She lies perfectly still, listening as hard as she can, trying to hear where Neo is now. Things seep into her head, she catches a glimpse, emotion, then she slams the block back in place. Neo is alone, crying. Nanu regrets seeing that, it's not right for her to spy on him.

She listens for someone else. Nothing.

How did she hear Neo and Trinity before? They were near her. But Neo wasn't just then; he was in the armoury. But, she was thinking of him.

Nanu stares into the darkness. It's late at night; most everyone is in their respective cabins . . . except Gavin. He's on sentinel watch.

With that thought, reality begins to slide away, and Nanu feels colder. She feels tense, waiting, and a bit bored at the same time. Vision swims into focus before her eyes. She sees the controls of the bridge, screens, buttons, and read-outs flickering on all sides.

But she wants to see it for real.

Nanu sneaks out of her cabin, her blanket around her shoulders for warmth. She climbs up through the Main Deck, down a short corridor and through a doorway. Gavin sits alone, also with a blanket around him, with his feet on the chair and his knees up to his chin. Nanu can feel him dozing off.

"Gavin."

He jumps at her voice, swears in surprise, "Nanu! Damn you, don't do that!"

She just smiles at his shock. He stares at her, baffled by her reaction, her expression, her presence there.

She comes forward, climbs into the left-hand chair, and draws her knees up.

"Sorry, I . . . " he's trying to apologise for yelling. "You scared me, that's all."

She smiles and makes an 'It's okay' face. Gavin looks out the window again, scanning the murky surrounds for movement. After a pause, he asks;

"How did you do that?"

"Do what?"

"Sneak up on me like that."

"I wasn't sneaking."

"You were pretty damn quiet anyway. But how did you move so silently? Boots on a steel floor should make some noise."

Nanu shrugs, "I don't know, I guess I just walk light. I never thought about it really."

He looks away, a smile.

"You're so much like Trin."

"How?"

"If you don't want someone to know something, they don't. She's like that."

"Trinity is different from me," Nanu speaks quietly, looking into the dark. "She's got this wall around her, because she had a hard life before she was unplugged. I just act."

The air is suddenly tense; Gavin is staring at her.

"How do you know that?"

"Know what?" But Nanu already knows what he's going to say. Fear floods into his mind, she recoils from it.

"How do you know what Trinity's life was like?"

"I don't, exactly. I mean, she must have had bad things happen to her to make her so closed off from everyone. I just guessed."

Gavin sits back, hugs his knees tighter. But he's suspicious now. He's not afraid, just wary and closing off.

"Gavin, don't you build a wall too."

He jumps, "What?"

"I want to talk to you. You're the first unplugged person – "

"We're called Jacks."

"Well, the first Jack, that I ever met."

"You met Neo first."

"Neo doesn't count. He's, well . . . Neo is Neo. It's like he's never not been like he is now."

The wording of what she said reminds her of something else, and she asks Gavin –

"Neo said that he died. How can that be true?"

"You'll be told eventually."

"I'd rather be told now."

"Have you heard anything about the One?"

"I heard Neo is, but that's all."

Gavin pulls the blanket around his shoulders, settles in his chair, and begins.

"When the Matrix was still new there was a man born inside, the name he was given was Kenneth Jackson, and the name he chose was Raven.

"He was the One, the first One. Even before he left the Matrix, he knew what it was, and he could change it. He couldn't be killed.

"He contacted Zion through a net connection, a chat room or something. He tried to hack into their mainframe through the net, ironic, is it not?" he smiles slightly, looking out the window.

"When he got unplugged, he immediately began trying to get out others. He chose young people, never over twenty-five and usually in their teens, people who showed promise of skills that would aid Zion, and help free more minds from the lies of the Matrix.

"For about thirty years, he fought the war. Led the war. Then he died.

"It was an EMP blast from another ship. A power loss while someone is jacked into the Matrix is the same as pulling his or her plug. Their mind separates from the body, the body dies." Gavin frowns. "Usually the mind dies too, I guess his didn't because he was always different. And the awful thing is, when the time came, he couldn't help his mind dying. When they loop the time in the Matrix, they have to alter people's memories of the past. Somehow that erasing destroyed his mind.

"But there was a prophecy made. He would come back. And he came back alright.

"The name he was given was Thomas Anderson. The name he chose was Neo. And Morpheus unplugged Neo."

"Who is Morpheus?"

"A man, a Jack, a fighter. He went against every rule when he found Neo, who was almost thirty when he was unplugged. Morpheus trained him mercilessly," Gavin smiles.

"Neo was always different, he was older and he had a gift for fighting. But his age limited him, he had trouble letting go, and he still treated the construct as a kind of reality.

"On Neo's trip to see the Oracle, they were all betrayed. A crewmember, Cypher, gave Morpheus to the AI in exchange for a new life in the Matrix. Morpheus was captured all the crew but Neo, Trinity and Tank were killed. But Tank killed Cypher, and got Neo Trin out. Then Neo went back in to save Morpheus.

"He succeeded Morpheus jacked out, but Neo was trapped by an Agent, and killed.

"I don't know how, but Neo came back to life. He won't tell you anything, he says he remembers nothing after he got shot. But when he came back, he was the One. Now, when he's in the Matrix, he can see the code, and read it, and he can change it like Raven could.

"But Neo will explain it to you once your training starts."

"When will that be?"

He looks at her, "All too soon kid."

"I'm not a kid."

"You're sixteen."

"How old are you?"

"Twenty."

"That's only four years difference."

"Four years is a long time in the Real World," his voice has gone sad.

"When were you unplugged?"

"Three years ago," he smiles, looking into the distance of memory once more. "I got caught changing my school grades. It was easy enough, but I made the mistake of trying it from school, and a teacher caught me in a classroom at lunchtime. I got suspended."

"Who contacted you?"

"Trinity. When I got my report, it was all changed. I hadn't managed it, but I had gotten all As, even for sport, and I hadn't been to a class all year. I got a message that night, and then we met.

"I was amazed that I'd been chosen. I wasn't a real hacker, I had a problem with morals so I couldn't scam money or trash someone's files, I just liked being places I shouldn't have been, it was fun.

"Like most of the others, I'd heard the term 'Matrix', and I wondered what it was. I had the usual doubts and suspicions about reality. I always felt as if someone was lurking in my head the way I lurked in other people's computers. Then I met Neo and he told me I was right, there was something watching. And if I wanted, I could be free of it."

Nanu suddenly feels very guilty, here she is lurking in Gavin's mind and he doesn't know it. But still, she doesn't withdraw. Gavin's thoughts have links and ties with each other, associations she can follow like a web, each string bringing another image to light.

The Crew is like a family to Gavin, and that brings images of playing with a younger brother and – a sister? – and that leads to another memory; chasing the brother through the City, and Nanu can hear Gavin call out;

"Sam! Come back here!" and then something much stranger happens.

The little boy stumbles as a woman runs past close by, a woman in a long black coat, then there is a flash of light, then a man in a brown suit is standing where the boy was. Then the woman turns around and shoots the man, and there is another light, and Sam is lying on the ground with a hole in his stomach and blood seeping from it, and Gavin is kneeling over him crying. And Nanu can tell from the sound of his voice that Gavin is still a child himself.

"That all seems a very long time ago now," the man's voice startles Nanu; she'd been hearing the boy.

Gavin sighs, and she knows he's thinking of the eternally cold, comfortless existence that is now his life.

"I'd better go back to bed Gavin," his name suddenly feels strange in her mouth.

"Goodnight Nanu," he says, but she doesn't answer. She's already gone.

***