(A.N. Many apologies for the time taken to update this story, ff.net is banned from school and home, so it takes me longer to get around the back way to upload. Plus I've got exams coming up...)
***Gavin***
He looks up as Nanu enters the galley. She goes straight to the shelves, takes down a bowl, and then carefully pours goop from the dispenser.
Gavin opens his mouth to tell her where to find the sporks, but she seems to know already. He wonders briefly who told her.
She sits down opposite him and begins eating. Her eyes look at the table like she's seeing something else. She's thinking, but she looks relieved, like a load has been lifted from her shoulders.
He goes back to his own food, remembering what it felt like to be new. He is grateful for Nanu's coming, if only for the reason that he is no longer junior-most.
But he can't help wondering what she's thinking about.
***Nanu***
Neo. He knows now.
She feels lighter for telling him what she's been doing, but sad for reminding him of a past that he has buried. And she feels guilty for not telling him she was eavesdropping on Trinity and him the other day.
But he knows now that she can eavesdrop, and scan through his mind. But that takes time, and quiet.
Nanu has a feeling she'll be kept busy from now on.
Tomorrow she'll run through a few more programs and, if he has time, she'll spar with Neo.
She's worried about that. Neo will want to see how well she can fight, how well she can work with the program.
She knows it's not real. She knows it's just a computer program. Some rules can be bent. Others, can be broken. She knows that.
But how to bend them, that she doesn't know.
Trin had said that being a hacker didn't matter, but Nanu doesn't agree. Thomas Anderson had been a program writer; Neo knew how programs worked. All Nanu ever did was use them.
She has basic computer skills, but among these people, in this world, they are laughable. Who cares if she could use Microsoft Office when the man opposite could probably hack Bill Gates' private PC? When Microsoft never really existed?
Sure, she may have ESP or something, but can that save her from an Agent?
Nanu finishes, puts her bowl upside down in the steam washer, and leaves the galley as silently as she came.
She tries not to think of Sam as Gavin watches her go.
***
Nanu doesn't think. She can't afford the time to think.
Thump! She's on the ground again, her cheek against the grimy concrete of the alley simulation.
"Come on Nanu, get up," Neo, being so patient she can't believe he's sincere. They've been at this for ages, and she's still getting hammered. Neo's not even trying.
She climbs slowly to her feet.
"Why does this hurt if it's not real?"
"Your mind makes it real."
"What does that mean?" she leans against the wall.
"You perceive this program as real. You accept its rules as real. I don't know how you change your way of perception; it's different for everyone."
"How did you realise?"
He smiles, "I got shot. But this is your training."
"You do that don't you?"
"What?"
"Avoid answering questions."
"You can't talk."
"Why not?"
"You're avoiding working."
She laughs shortly, then moves in. But he blocks every move she makes, then -
Thump!
Again! The air goes out of her lungs in a rush and she lies on her back, still.
"God," she heaves in a breath. A hand appears, she takes it and Neo pulls her up. She stumbles; her knee got twisted. He catches her arm to hold her steady.
"Do you want to take a break?"
"No."
"Are you sure?"
She looks up, frowns. "Why is everyone trying to make things easier for me? I want to do what you do."
"You're new Nanu."
"Things weren't any easier for you when you were."
"Still - "
"I'm going to keep going, are you?"
He smiles; "Yes."
He lets go, steps away. When Nanu puts weight on her leg, the knee almost buckles, and alarm flashes in Neo's mind. It shows on his face.
No.
Wait.
His mind.
It shows in his mind!
She shuts her eyes, thinks, opens them. Messages from the program into her brain, her central nervous system. Just impulses. Electrical signals interpreted by her brain.
A door closes. This isn't real.
The simulation is trying to tell her; Your leg hurts, you can't stand on your right leg. Your ribs are cracked, it hurts to breathe.
No. It's not real.
Now she sees this for what it is. A deception.
"Come on," she grins, and moves, sudden and fast and almost catching him off guard. Her fists blur, and Neo backs up, then comes out offensive again. She keeps going, ducking, blocking, trying to land a few blows of her own then he's too fast and wham! Nanu is thrown back into the wall.
Bricks crumble, she flops to the ground.
Neo swears and moves forward to help her up, but she's doing it alone. On her knees, she looks up at him and smiles.
"Had you working then didn't I?" she's not breathing hard at all.
"Where in hell did that come from?"
She gets the rest of the way to her feet, uninjured.
"It all makes sense now. Everything. My leg can't be hurting because I'm still safe in my chair on Deck. I don't look like this," she takes her long braid in one hand, "This isn't air I'm breathing now."
"You're beginning to see the light then," he smiles. Then he puts his hands in his coat pockets with a sly expression. "How about we try another sim?"
"Like?"
"Tank? Load the Jump program."
White floods into her vision then clears to show a new scene. Wind blows hair in her eyes. They stand on the top of a skyscraper, high above the City.
"The test now Nanu," Neo looks at her closely, "is if you can apply your knowledge. I'll give you three words. Free Your Mind."
Then he runs for the edge of the roof and takes off, leaping across the wide street to the next building.
She smiles; "Cool."
Nanu walks to the edge and looks down. Eighty odd stories, it looks like. The sim is telling her it looks like.
She folds her arms, thinks. Neo is watching her from the other roof. He can wait; she has to focus.
Can she ignore the signals of the program? Can she create her own illusion of a reality with the lies she tells herself?
Worth a try.
She's on the brink, she steps up onto the concrete ledge. Wind. Her hair moves, her coat pulls at her shoulders like flexing wings.
She takes a deep breath then -
One step. She stands on - nothing, solid air.
Another step. Then another. Nanu walks calmly across the street, smiling like an idiot and wanting to laugh.
There, concrete beneath her again; she made it.
Neo is staring at her.
"How . . . ?"
"That's the first rule of flying in your dreams Neo, you can never explain how."
"You were walking on air!" he blurts out.
"And?" she's so happy she could pop.
"Jesus." Neo looks at nothing in particular, "Tank, get us out."
***
She blinks. Her body is fine, but her head is pounding.
Achi pulls her plug, and Nanu gingerly sits up.
Everyone is there. Everyone is staring at her.
"No one has ever made their first Jump," Tank says very quietly.
"How did you do that?" Key speaks for all of them.
"I, I guess I just ignored the program," Nanu says, feeling unbelievably awkward. Blank faces answer her.
"I can't explain it any better than that." She moves her head and regrets it instantly. Pain throbs in her temples like loud industrial music.
Neo is out of his chair, offering her a hand to help her down, but some stupid sense of pride makes her climb out of her chair alone. He is about to take her back to her cabin when a voice stops him.
Trinity.
"Wait Nanu," her voice is hard, ice hard, an order.
Nanu turns, meets her stare for stare.
"Yes?"
"Why is it that the One didn't make his first Jump, and yet you walk on air, like it's nothing special, the very first time you try?"
Tension hums in the air, a sound just beyond the edge of hearing.
"There are many things I don't know yet Trinity," she feels tired, but she holds her chin high and her expression inscrutable.
"And the answer to that is one of them."
She leaves, and Neo does not follow her. Nobody does.
***