Copyright © 2002 by Syvia & Demon Hunter Anamae. All Rights Reserved.
Disclaimer: The few things we own are listed here; ourselves and the Narrator, and Damion, the vampire formerly known as Ah-choo. Bucky the former chipmunk was inspired by the squirrel from The Emperor's New Groove. Phoebe, the head warden, and Marie, the Sarafan Lord's daughter, belong to DHA. Touching without permission will lead to legal action. Have a nice day. :-D
Authors Notes:
*Syvia and Anamae are still in the labs. The metal door on one side has dented inward from someone pounding on it. A loud hissing is heard before a small tongue of flame appears in the door and begins to cut through the metal. The start reading quickly in order to get through with the letters before the people with the blowtorch get in. The readers wonder who is holding the blowtorch. The authors decide not to tell you.*
Syvia- Okay, first review- CoD- *blinks... blink-blink* I'm traumatized by that view of Moebius... *repeatedly washes out her eyes*
Anamae- *shudder* VladimirsAngel- *Syvia hugs her* *evil grin* I might enjoy it... there's a very good chance that I would enjoy it!
Syvia- Raziella- *sighs* Yeah, you're right. *shrugs*
Anamae- Fallen Templar- Shhh! She doesn't know that yet! Yeah, but it woulda been fun to watch!
Syvia- Rocker Baby- *lol* Thankee very much. *chuckles*
Anamae- RedCat8- Thank you! Oooh... that's right. *Mexican chickens run around clucking*
Syvia- Morbid Knight- I've done my tribute to the Biscuit woman. ^_^ But those guys do get mentioned in this chapter! :-D
Anamae- Sephiroth- Cool, someone new here. Hmm... Well, not in this chapter. Keep your eyes open (eye, if you're a Cyclops). Weird things can and do happen on occasion.
Syvia- Discordia- *hugs* Thank you muchly. No, you're right, the Narrator has no legs. She over dramatizes things fairly often.
Narrator- No, really, I- *clunk* AHHHH! My non-existent right leg is broken! BROKEN!
Anamae- Well, yeah. We only got nine reviews.
Narrator- *whimpering*
Sword Fights that 'Boink'
Well as Syvia was running around with Magnus, who was trying to find Damion, with the Wardens running behind them, as well as the Olympic track team of 2000 who were being chased by the canyon runners and the Mexican Chickens from two chapters ago, The Sarafan Lord (I have to capitalize the name because it's important and I don't want to be killed) walked into the Eternal Prison with Anamae, Faustus and Bucky following behind. Faustus was trying to work up the nerve to ask for the three week break when Phoebe, the only female warden in the prison, came down the steps to meet with the SL. She wore a long, simple white robe, and a small golden orb floated above her hands. Oh yeah, and her eyes were sewn shut, but she could see everything. (Powers of the mind deal, you know?)
Phoebe- My Lord, you are here for the inspection of prisoner 24601?
TSL- Yes I am.
Phoebe- *gestures* This way, please.
Anamae- She looks freaky....
Faustus- I wonder if she's always been blind like that....
Phoebe- Ever since I was little. In fact, one of my ancestors was Nupraptor so you could say it runs in the family.
Anamae- *nervously* Oh yeah? *mumbles* This place keeps on getting weirder and weirder. *hears the odd music and spooky laughter* What the hell was that?!
Phoebe- The cassette tape we have playing on a continuous track. It adds a feeling of despair to the prison... and we forgot to turn it off after the Halloween party.
TSL- Halloween party? Why wasn't I invited?
Phoebe- Because you never let me see our child!
Faustus- What?!
Bucky- Chirp squeakkkky tityyy skeww.... (I wonder the Eternal Prison was this weird before it went to the dogs....)
While I tried to sort out all this information, the relevant characters were walking down halls that looked like they could use a wash, (not to mention a polish) and passing by vending machines that had nothing in them but cobwebs. Eventually they arrived where prisoner 24601 should be. Of course, there was nothing there.
Phoebe- *looking at the Wardens' bodies* Strange....Magnus should be here.
Faustus- M-M-Magnus...?
SL- Something wrong?
Faustus' face turned extremely pale. He was, after all, one of the vampires that turned against the Kain's army and had given Magnus the insane notion of trying to fight the Sarafan Lord on his own so in a way he was responsible for putting him here. Ohhh Faustus, if you come across him, you're screwed. *checks ahead in the story* Yeah, you're definitely screwed.
Anamae- *sees Syvia running up behind her* Hey Syvia, cool light saber! There's Magnus!
Magnus saw Fauatus. Faustus saw Magnus. The equation goes as follows to lead to the next event.
Magnus + Faustus = Kill Faustus
TSL- Phoebe, you haven't been running the prison well enough.
Phoebe- Bite me. I want to see Marie.
Then Damion came flying in and things began to make even less sense.... I'd like to take this moment to say that the next bit is made possible by Syvia's RB LoKverse.
Syvia- Ooooh! What next bit?
Soul Reaver Raziel appeared out of nowhere and began tossing the combatants around.
Anamae- What the hell? When did Raz have time to get thrown into the EP?!
Long story, don't ask. So, in the fullness of time... the next three minutes to be precise, Faustus got knocked against the wall and began staggering around the room, seeing double. Magnus had the same done to him, but took the blow on the head and passed out. Damion got slapped around for a bit before Raziel caught sight of TSL, they both drew their version of the Soul Reaver and began to fight. Phoebe was still grousing about not having seen her daughter since her birth and TSL, annoyed at having to deal with her during a swordfight, was trying to end the duel as fast as possible... he wasn't doing a very good job.
Phoebe- You could have sent me pictures or something at the very least!
TSL- Are we forgetting *ching* that your *swhoop* eyes are sutured shut? *boink*
Syvia, who had been distracted by her reunion with Bucky and Anamae, looked up at this.
Syvia- A sword fight can 'boink'?
Anamae- I guess it can.
Syvia- *hugs her* It's been so long!
Anamae- You've been gone for less than a day!
Syvia- This is the Eternal Prison, remember? Time stands still. So... what did you and Faustus do?
Anamae- *small grin* We had fun.
Syvia- *smirking* Yeah?
Anamae- *blushing* Ye-s.
And while the two girls grinned over each other's exploits, the battles raged on. After a few minutes, the Wardens that had been chasing Syvia ran in and, going too fast to stop, smashed into TSL, SRR and PFW. The OTT2000 ran in as well and added to the enormous dog pile of people with abbreviated names. Faustus, Magnus, and Damion, who were looking, stunned, at the pile, jumped half a mile *snicker* (I made a rhyme) in the air when SRR appeared on the top of the heap.
Raz- I would suggest you run. They're not going to be happy once they get themselves sorted out.
Magnus and Faustus looked at each other, animosity forgotten (for the time being) and as one, ran towards the exit. As they passed the still chatting human girls, Faustus threw Anamae over his shoulder, Magnus did the same to Syvia, and Damion brought up the rear with Bucky.
Running as fast as they all could, the five people (plus the squirrel) moved down the halls of the Eternal Prison as fast as possible, not knowing where the hell they were going or just exactly how they were going to get out.
Anamae- Hey, there's a map over there! *points*
And indeed there was. It was a map of the Eternal Prison in the usual confusing 3-D format. A little green dot showed where the group was with the words 'You are here' written there, and then a little red dot near the top of the prison saying 'But You Are Suppose To Be There'.
Magnus- Then let's go!
And Magnus once again picked up Syvia, not that she minded being dragged around like a wench just stolen from her village, ran down the hall and up the curving staircases to reach the top. But because I want to make this escape all the more confusing, does anyone here remember the artist who did those surreal paintings, the ones with doors and stairways upside down and in the air and going nowhere in particular?
Syvia- Escher?
Bless you.
Syvia- No, that's the name of-
Anyway, it seemed everyone was heading into one of those.
Damion- *upside down on the stairs* I hate this!
Anamae- *with Faustus* Um, if the ceiling is above us then why is everyone running up there and we aren't?
Faustus- Because we forgot to make the right turn.
Bucky- *running up the walls, then down a curved stair that goes up* SQUEEEEEEEK!!!!!! (Damn it)
And while this was all very confusing to everyone except the people who live in the Eternal Prison with the screams and the moans and the "OWLS!" Guy and the woman complaining about the biscuit, everyone else had managed to get untangled from the tangle that they were in.
Meanwhile... back in the lab...
Phoebe- Who touched my ass?!
SR Raziel- My apologies!
SL- Don't touch her ass. How dare you? *swings at Raziel with the reaver*
Wardens- After the escapees! *runs after the escaped prisoners*
Phoebe- Hey! You wardens obey me! Me; I run the prison and you guys don't! Don't forget who the hell pays the bills here! Come back! ARGH! *runs after them*
SR Raziel- Does she *ducks under a blow* always act *clang!* like that?
SL- Sometimes- *misses hitting Raz in the gut* she's worse! The kid's like that *gets hit on the shoulder* too!
SR Raziel- Must be difficult!
Meanwhile heading back to the rest of the group. They managed to escape the surreal world and all of that stuff by using a hot air balloon to bring them to the top of the prison, and everyone got off on the roof. Of course, now there was nowhere else to go. Even if Bucky, Anamae and Syvia could jump into the crashing waves and swim back to the far shore, they would have to leave the vampires because at this moment they:
1) Didn't know how to swim
2) Magnus still hasn't reached that lever where he's immune to water
3) Forgot to get the life raft
Syvia- No prob. We just use a plot hole.
Syvia?
Syvia- Yeah?
*indicates a little sign on a string that just fell from the sky* You can't use plot holes here anymore.
Syvia- Why not?
Faustus- *looking at a sign* Says here that plot holes can not be used here in the Eternal Prison anymore because of their gross cheesiness and because they are ruining the 'storyline'.
Damion- Damn....
Magnus- Well, all we have to do is find another way. Perhaps if we grab all those pigeons and tie them together, they could carry us all away..
Hello! Magnus, do you know how many pigeons you'd need to maintain air/speed velocity and ratio just for the six of you?
Magnus- How much?
More than this fic here can hold.
Magnus- NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!
And then the Wardens appeared.
========================================
*the Narrator is sitting - as only a head can - in a nice plump leather chair, listening to the 'I Am Cow' song playing*
Narrator- Oh, hello people! Yes, isn't it a pain in the butt that we always end at cliffhangers? I should like to take this time to say that neither Syvia or DHA are in the sanest of moods at the moment, which is why I have been given this job of wrapping up this chapter. Where are they, you ask?
*voices coming down from the medical labs in the Eternal Prison*
Anamae- No, not the feather torture! It tickles. Ahahaahahahahahahaaaaaa!
Syvia- I can't stand the chicken song anymore! Turn it off, turn it off, turn it off!
*back in the leather chair*
Narrator- Yes, the Wardens eventually broke through the door. Please put up 10 reviews this time? *pouts* I don't want my nonexistent left leg broken too!