The Fluff Returneth Chapter 5: At Long Last A Plot, a legacy of kain fanfic

Disclaimer: The few things we own are listed here; ourselves and the Narrator, and Damion, the vampire formerly known as Ah-choo. Bucky the former chipmunk was inspired by the squirrel from The Emperor's New Groove. Phoebe, the head warden, and Marie, the Sarafan Lord's daughter, belong to DHA. Touching without permission will lead to legal action. Have a nice day. :-D

Authors Notes:

Anamae- So you saw the chapter title?

Syvia- Yeah, really weird.

Anamae- I know, now this story will actually go back to being a story.

Syvia- Does the narrator have anything to do with this?

Anamae- *shrugs* Maybe she was replaced by someone else.

*The two are sitting on the top of the Meridian Cathedral, dropping down loose tiles, broken glass, the odd brick or two and the gargoyles at anyone who passed below*

Anamae- Hmm, I think that's Marcus. I'll smash him good! *hefts up a big rock*

Syvia- Are you sure that's a good idea? Why not read the reviews first and answer before you drop the rock on him?

Anamae- *holding the rock* Okay, but it better be quick. This perfect aim isn't going to last forever.

Syvia- Fallen Templar- *applauds* We love it- and actually, she gets a pay raise for every non-existent part we break- so she's not as bad off as she seems.

Anamae- Speaking of which- *breaks the Narrator's other non existent leg* And if we don't get ten reviews for this chapter, it'll be her non existent ribs!

Syvia- To Raziella D. Reaver- thanks, hon, but remember- DHA is here too. She's not a figment of my imagination, this really is a co-authored fic.

Anamae- ...You could be a figment of my imagination.

Syvia- Possible, but not likely.

Anamae- Concept of a Demon- We're on it. *narrator whimpers*

Syvia- VladimirsAngel- Hey there ^_^ *customary hug* They are obsessed with boinking-

Anamae- And proud of it! To Sephiroth- You're way too nice. Mel Brooks is much greater than we are. As for your suggestion... how about we don't and say we did?

Syvia- GoT- ^_^ Thanks for the review. Discordia- We try to keep the chapters all the same length, which sometimes equals a cliffhanger.

Anamae- Plink- Ooh, goodies.

Yeah, I know. But it still hurts. *pouts*

Anamae- So who was what in the now with the with? I knew something from someone somewhere and then I forgot it when the dwarves came, followed by that little Pix too... Okay Plink, then you need to go to the Iceberg Fortress which hangs in the sky beyond the lands of the Ice and Crags, over the Naggarond mountainscape and meet the God Child. Only don't walk out of his realm, then he can follow you. After aqcuiring the Talisman of Bad Meat, reverse your footsteps by 5 par and longitude 67, then do a Scottish dance and sing Trippy La-La. then go see Archaon the Ever-Lord to take his daemonsteed and be careful of the daemons. I haven't finished hunting them all.And then go to Atldorf, where you will meet Grunger the Slayer. Only he slays mice. To get the potion of dreams to save Lodoss, you have to strip naked and dance in the street on Saturday the 32nd, which only comes around once every 52 years. Wearing a boot on your head might help. Then-

Syvia- QUIET! *duct tapes DHA's mouth*

Anamae- Mpphhg!

Syvia- Stop it or I'm gonna lose it too!

Syvia- Rocker Baby- I'm just thankful LOTR won a few things. *sighs* Thanks for the review. ^_^

At Long Last- A Plot

Syvia stood, pouting, annoyed at my previous comment.

Syvia- *muttering* I don't think they're cheesy.

Anamae- A little help here?!

The rest of the group were fighting the wardens, knocking them off the roof or back down the way they'd come. Bucky finally chomped down on Syvia's leg in annoyance, threatening more violence if she didn't get a weapon and begin to do her part in the battle. Anamae ripped a scythe out of one Warden's hand and threw it to her friend. They proceeded to battle... and battle... and battle.
The three vampires began to give each other breaks in action, so they could get a little of the blood they were so liberally spilling.
Then there was the straight 8 hour fight between the three vampires and the Warden horde, fought so the two girls could get some sleep.
The battle went on... and on... and- hey! *grins*
*begins to sing*
This is the fight that never ennnnnnnnnnds!
It just goes on and on my frieeeeeeends!
Some people, started fighting it, not knowing what it was-
and they'll continue fighting it forever- just because-
It is the fight that doesn't ennnnnnnnnnd-

Warden 308- Uhgh! What is that horrible noise?

Warden 795- My brain mechanics are short-circuiting!

It just goes on and on-
...suddenly the Wardens began to twitch wildly, electrical currents jumped from their hoods to their eyes, then they fell to the ground and lay still.
The six fighters stood there for a minute.

Damion- ...What just happened here?

Faustus- The narrator's bad singing killed them all.

Magnus- And they were robots too!

Anamae- How the hell is that possible? There are no robots in this age or in Nosgoth ever! This is the stream powered age, not one filled with computers and all that crap.

Damion- Well, maybe these guys were new experiments or something like that. Yeah, they must have been.

Syvia- The revolution creates all sorts of new inventions. *twirling the scythe in her hands* I wish at least there was an invention to get down from here.

And at that moment, the Sarafan Lord appeared at the top of the prison. He looked at everyone, and everyone stared back at him. This went on for quite a while, until I coughed politely and told them to get on with whatever story there might be left.

Anamae- Wait a minute!!!! *everyone looks at her* Syv, since we didn't save Janos over 400 years ago, we can save him now! All we have to do is go to the Device and rescue him, and this time make sure there are no weapons around on which he can trip and impale himself with.

Magnus- What is she talking about?

Faustus- Long story. I don't even know.

Bucky- Chirp chirp squeak! (Read the other chapters, buddy)

Syvia- *gasp* That's a great idea! We can save the last of the Ancients!

SL- How the hell did you know about that?! No one but me and the Hylden, who are secretly trying to take over the world, have that information!

Syvia- I read the walkthrough.

Anamae- Yeah, the ultimate source of power for people who play the games.

Damion- Game? What do you mean by this?

Anamae and Syvia were at a loss. Now they had given everything away that Nosgoth was in fact a game and everything like that. It looked like they had some explaining to do. But because I didn't want to give them such a hard time, I rewound time about 4 minutes before they told everyone that this was a game, but after they spilled the beans that the Sarafan Lord had Janos.

Faustus- Okay then, so what do you girls intend to do?

Syvia and Anamae- SAVE JANOS!!!!

SL- Not if I can help it!!!!

The big, bad, and altogether evil Hylden Lord charged the two girls at that moment, swinging the Soul Reaver from side to side. They screamed, dove for cover and let the vampires deal with the problem in front of them. Well Magnus and Damion were the only ones fighting; Faustus was still in the Sarafan's service and if he wanted to keep his hefty paycheck, then he knew it wouldn't be a good idea to get involved. Filing his claws, the vampire looked over at Anamae.

Faustus- So how're you two going to get out of here?

Syvia- Aren't you going to help them fight?

Faustus- Hmmmmmmmmmm.............no.

Bucky got very angry and tried to bite Faustus in the rear, but Anamae stopped the angry animal before he could touch Faustus' buns, which were her property (Anamae- Damn straight!) Then Syvia hit upon the biggest idea in her life. She took the cloaks from the dead guards and handed one end to Anamae while she held the other.

Syvia- We jump off the edge, and these will billow out like a parachute. Then we simply glide down to the ground, find that opening that leads into the Device from the Eternal Prison, find Janos, save him and then we can all live happily ever after.

Magnus gave a scream as the Sarafan Lord hit him in the ribs, then bashed his fist back into the Hylden's face. Damion had grabbed a hold of the SL's cape and was throwing it over the warrior's face, impairing his vision.

Anamae- Okay then. Later boyos!!!!!

And with that, Syvia and Anamae jumped off the edge of the prison, towards the choppy water below.

They dropped to the stone path on the outside of the Prison and hit the ground running.

Syvia- Wait- wait, Anamae. We need a Hylden's blood to free Janos. Kain got his sample from a Hylden inside the EP.

Anamae- We don't really want to go back in there, do we?

Syvia- No... we really really don't.

Anamae- So how are we supposed to swing that?

Fifteen minutes later, Syvia, Anamae and Bucky were standing outside the Blood Bank in the Hylden city, out in the middle of the ocean. How did they get there, you ask?

Syvia & Anamae- Don't ask.

Ahem... They whistled innocently, waiting for their turn to go in, watching the various Hylden coming out of the building, swaying drunkenly and clutching little cups of orange juice.

Anamae- Orange juice?

*shrugs*

So as one of the Hylden came by, a nurse to be exact, the two girls rushed her and took the blood sample that she had in the I.V. tube. Then they raced pell-mell back down to the docks before any of the Hylden could stop them, stole the closest boat - a watered down, rotting fisherman's boat - and set back out to sea.

Bucky- *pulling at the oars* Chirppitiy! (Yeah!)

Syvia- *using a megaphone* Pull- and- pull- and- pull!

Anamae- Is this cruelty to animals?

Syvia- Nope. Bucky said he wanted to man the oars.

Anamae- Why?

Syvia- He felt he was getting a little flabby around the middle.

But at that moment the Hylden doctors, who were counting the blood bags, found one missing and raised the alarm. The nurse told the doctors that she had been jumped by two weird beings and the Hylden, in their jet-propelled, monkey navigated boats tore off after the humans to get their blood back.

Well, good thing for Anamae and Syvia that they docked in the Meridian harbor, and not a moment too soon because said crappy boat they were riding in sunk straight to the bottom. They began racing towards the Device, Bucky struggling to keep up behind them because he was still tired, when the girls were stopped by the 400 foot tall iron wall that surrounded said Device in the heart of Meridian.

Syvia- And we suppose to get in?

Anamae- We don't have telekinesis. We might have to...climb.

Syvia- *sighs* Well now that the teleportation plot holes have been banned, I suppose we'll have to.

Anamae- *a thoughtful expression on her face* Well... We can't use it to teleport up there... but-

She took out a useful little plot hole, reached in and pulled.. and pulled.. and pulled.. out a ladder. Syvia grinned.

Syvia- Good one!

Anamae propped the ladder up against the door frame and, holding it steady, gestured for Syvia to climb up it. The other girl just looked at her.

Syvia- You can't be serious.

Anamae- What? I'll hold it and you climb it.

Syvia- No way! I'm scared of unsecured heights!

Anamae- Unsecured?

Syvia- Ones where you're not strapped into a seat of some kind. They freak me out!

Anamae- You used that jet pack okay- that wasn't a seat.

Syvia- It was strapped onto my back.

Anamae- And not your butt- therefore-

Syvia- It had straps- therefore it was secure!

Anamae- You're being ridiculous!

Then Bucky, who had been listening to the entire thing, began to chitter furiously at both of the girls. They turned to him, startled, as the squirrel scurried up the ladder and activated the symbol.

Anamae- Okay, now I feel a little silly.

Syvia grinned, blushing as she agreed. Bucky hopped back down the ornately carved walls and took up residence on Syvia's shoulder. Anamae led the small group into the door.

=======================================

Anamae- Okay, the reviews and chapters are finished! Rock AWAY! *chucks the rock*

Syvia- Oh dear.

Marcus- *from below* Oh, my aching head! Who threw that rock, who threw it at me, Nosgoth's most beloved vampire?

Anamae- *snickers* *looks at Syvia* What? It was the bald head! It's like there's a target on there that only I can see!

Syvia- And how is it then that we're going to save Janos?

Anamae- Fate and destiny?

Syvia- *starts crying*