Copyright © 2002 by Syvia & Demon Hunter Anamae. All Rights Reserved.
Disclaimer: The few things we own are listed here; ourselves and the Narrator, and Damion, the vampire formerly known as Ah-choo. Bucky the former chipmunk was inspired by the squirrel from The Emperor's New Groove. Phoebe, the head warden, and Marie, the Sarafan Lord's daughter, belong to DHA. Touching without permission will lead to legal action. Have a nice day. :-D
Authors' Complaints:
Anamae- ... *checks watch* ...... *checks day calendar* .... *checks monthly calendar* .............
.......
..........
*checks Murphy of Murphy's Rentals*
Murphy- Nope, she hasn't been around in a while.
Anamae- *grumbles and sits down again*
*Syvia runs in, out of breath, and sits down*
Anamae- *slowly turns to look at her*
Syvia- *smiles nervously*
Anamae- *pulls a bazooka out of hammerspace and shoots Syvia in the face with a rabid Chihuahua. Syvia falls to the floor, shrieking as she's clawed.* ........... *smiles* Suddenly I feel much better...
Syvia- *still shrieking*
Authors' Notes:
*Syvia (with several small bandages and bruises on her face) and Anamae are sitting inside a bland white room with a dull clock up against the wall. It ticks forwards, then goes backwards*
Syvia- Anamae, did you see that?
Anamae- Yeah.
Syvia- Why did that happen?
Anamae- *points* Because he's here.
*Hash'ak'gik enters the boring room from a boring white door set in the far wall, then takes the seat that appears for no reason beside Syvia*
Syvia- Anamae, can I switch chairs with you?
Anamae- Scared of him?
Syvia- Yes.
Anamae- Fine. *gets up and changes places with Syvia* *looks at the demon* So...you like chess?
Hash- *glowers* Yes.
Syvia- *grabs the letters* And to make sure I don't become part of that game, I'm going to answer these letters. -_- Why are there so few?
Discordia- ^_^ We're doing our best... but the outlook isn't good- we just haven't been that successful in our rescues lately. *sighs* ^_^ Yes- fate is a tricksy monster, and sometimes demon, and sometimes, oddly enough, angel- but it can't be counted on. :-p
Concept- *nods sagely* That's because you've been paying attention. ^_^
VladimirsAngel- *hugs tightly* God bless you for your fics! That has nothing to do with this review (although I thank you much for that too) but I just needed to take this time to thank you for giving me time outs from my mundane, worrisome life & making me laugh. *hugs again*
Anamae- *taps Syv on the shoulder* Back to the reviews, maybe?
Syvia- *clears her throat* Yes... I'm not done with that, am I?
Fallen Templar- *snerk* *lots of applause* Oh- hey, can I have his mask for a keepsake? I've got the perfect place to hang it... ^_^ Thanks.
Sephiroth- *winks* See- you have to keep watching- if you don't, you may miss the very event that you'd been asking to see! Thanks for the review.
Thank you, lastly, to the reader who was nice enough to email me with their review. *tears well up in her eyes* I am so, so sorry it took me so long to update that I've forgotten who you are. *smacks herself* And it's probably someone I know really well, which is why I thought I'd remember and, thusly, forgot-
Anamae- *pausing in her move* Syv, you're rambling. Stop it.
~..............................................Unexpected Guests..............................................~
Suddenly one of the Hylden, posing as a Glyph mechanic, rushed up to the two girls.
Mechanic- Heyyyyyyyyyyy!!! Where did you two come from?
Syvia- From the other side of the door.
Mechanic- I know that! But from before that!
Anamae- The street before reaching the door from which we just passed through.
Mechanic- Oh, getting cheeky now, are we? C'mon girls, fess up.
Syvia and Anamae looked at each other. They were just telling the simple truth, which was hard for them because they were both compulsive liars to the extreme, putting even Moebius to shame time and time again.
Moebius- *comes in* I resent that. *leaves*
They decided to tell the whole truth and get everything cleaned up.
Syvia- We come from another world-
Anamae- -that is more advanced than your own-
Syvia- -and we first tried, over 500 years ago, to save Janos Audron-
Anamae- -but we failed and since we know he is a prisoner here-
Syvia- -we're going to save him and destroy the Device-
In Chorus- -and there's nothing that you can do about it!
The mechanic looked at the girls and then at their little pet animal, confused with everything that they were telling him. He had only come over here because he was a second cousin twice removed from his aunt's side of the family that was distantly related to the Sarafan Lord. He only got this job because of family connections and everything he knew about these humans scared him. . .except for the women. They were a lot better looking than Hylden women. The mechanic took out a stamp and cleared his throat.
Mechanic- I need to stamp your hands to make sure you can go in and out, alright?
Anamae- Okay.
Syvia- Sure. *get their hands stamped; Bucky gets stamped on the forehead*
Bucky- *string of curse words*
Mechanic- Hey. *taps Syvia on the shoulder*
Syvia- What?
Mechanic- Why do you have that blood?
Syvia looked at Anamae for assistance, but she already saw the young woman rushing off to the entrance to the Device with Bucky. Some help she was going to be. So Syvia did the only thing she could do. Taking the ladder that was somehow nearby, she whapped the Hylden over the head and followed her friend.
Mechanic- *slurring his words* What a woman!
Because I am a kind narrator, I will no longer call him a mechanic but give him a very Hyldenish name, one filled with awe, one unsurpassed in power and majesty, the name that makes people quake in fear and respect alike. The mechanic will now be called James! *in the background, James faints* The small group descended the stairs and twisting paths which led them closer and closer to the heart of the Device. Then they stumbled across the room which held the Beast. They looked at him, he looked at them and then everything seemed to be *tries to fit in a word here*. . .
Beast- I remember you two girls. You're the ones that didn't save me the first time.
Anamae- JANOS! *runs towards him, then hits the field and is thrown back* Ouch...
Syvia- You've changed.
Beast/Janos- Yeah, de-evolution is a bitch, isn't it? So are you two going to try and save me again?
Anamae- What else is new?
Beast/Janos- *sighs* I hope it will go better than last time.
The girls grinned sheepishly at each other and ran off down the corridor towards the device. Janos.. from me to you- I wouldn't hold out much hope.
Janos- *grimaces* Believe me, I don't. *sighs*
Meanwhile, the girls had just come across a couple of Hylden.
Anamae- *pointing* Eww! Eww! I didn't know they were anorexic!
The Hylden stopped, looked at each other, then started running towards them again.
Hylden 1- Uhhh! Ooo-ah!
Anamae- *unsheathing a sword* What in the world was that?!
Syvia- *facing off with the other* Their battle cries.
Anamae- They sound like old men with hemorrhoids.
Hylden 2- Excuse me?
Whereupon Anamae cut off his head. Syvia quickly finished the other and they moved deeper into the area.
Anamae- Why do we have to fight Hylden now?
Syvia- They're the bad guys.
Anamae- No, I meant why do we have to fight them now when we've never had to fight them before?
Syvia- They're in this part of the game.
Anamae- You're sure?
Syvia- Pretty sure.
Another Hylden appeared, followed by one of those weird demons with bad breath.
Anamae- Ewww! What in hell is that?!
Syvia- *looking nervous* Just kill it!
The Hylden went down easily compared to the demon, which the girls spent a good fifteen minutes swatting- and I mean literally swatting, because they were barely putting any force behind their swings-
Syvia- Back to the story please!
- at it before they managed to get close and deal the finishing blow.
Anamae- ...Eww. So those are in this level too?
Syvia- I can't really remember. Narrator?
I'm afraid so.
Anamae- *looking suspicious* Can I have a second opinion?
A BO2 game guide suddenly dropped onto the floor in front of them.
Syvia braced her sword under her arm and picked it up, holding it up for them both to read.
Anamae- *points* Oh, look. There they are. They're definitely in this level.
Syvia- *sighs* Damn. I hate those things.
Anamae- Oh well. No rest for the wicked.
She smirked evilly, hefted her sword and walked off. Syvia hastily tucked the guide into the back of her jeans, righted her sword and followed.
Now armed with the Complete Blood Omen 2 Walkthrough, one would think that Syvia and Anamae could easily complete the level, destroy the Device, then race back and free Janos. Right? Right? Well... not exactly...
Anamae- Narrator, why are you against us again?
Because it makes everything more fun. Sure you guys might be the heroes in this story and all that, but what is life without a few stone walls and pit falls in your way? It makes it so much more fun to read about all that bad things that will happen before the good.
Syvia- What are you planning?
Suddenly Hash'ak'git-
Syvia- Isn't that Hash'ak'gik?
I like Hash'ak'git better.
Anamae- Well... he is a git.
Exactly. Suddenly Hash'ak'git appeared on the walkway leading towards the Device.
Anamae- HEY! That's no fair! He's not even in this game! Narrator! Narrator, answer us!
.... *no response*
Hash- *blinking his eyes* What the? One moment I was at home watching television and now I'm here? What gives? They promised to leave me alone after all I did for them. I tried to kill Kain but he killed me so I got to retire. Now the Hylden don't even stick to retirement packages?
Then the black demon happened to look over and see Syvia and Anamae. They stared at him, he stared right back. Bucky, who was the only one not paralyzed by fear, did the first thing that came to his little mind. He charged Hash and bit him on the leg.
Hash- OUCH!!!!!
Spurred on by this act of bravery (or maybe stupidity's more accurate, because who's really going to charge a demon?) Anamae and Syvia charged after the squirrel. The walkway was quite long, so the girls had ample time for conversation as they rushed headlong at the flailing demon.
Anamae- Do we have anything resembling a plan?
Syvia- Uh....
Anamae- I'll take that as a 'no'.
Syvia- Swords out?
Anamae- *sudden flash of inspiration* No! Just keep on running!
Syvia- *speeding up with Anamae* Why? What are we doing?
Anamae- Ramming speed!
Anamae laughed manically as she charged Hash'ak'gik, earning a concerned glance from Syvia. You're right to be worried, girl- she's a little crazy right now.
Syvia- *groans*
Hash'ak'git managed to fling Bucky to the ground seconds before the girls ran up, their shoulders connecting with the demon's stomach- the momentum they'd built up knocking him backwards into the Device's open maw. As Syvia and Anamae watched, amazed- it swallowed the demon... and belched loudly.
Upstairs, surrounded by the force field, Janos clutched his stomach.
Janos- I think I'm going to be sick...
====================================
Hash- King me.
Anamae- You cheated.
Hash- No.
Anamae- Yes, you did.
Hash- ...Ma jhong me.
Anamae- We're not even playing that game!
Syvia- *tugs on Anamae's shirt* Maybe you should just leave him alone.
Anamae- No, he cheated and he's gonna pay!
*And so the demon hunter tried to attack the demon, living up to her namesake*
Syvia- *taking over narration* The fight raged long into the night with chessboard pieces, ma jhong tiles and checkers used as assorted weapons. The room was no longer white and plain, but black, blue and bumpy, reflecting the condition of Anamae's body, and the backwards clock actually skipped a century or two. And this isn't making any sense. Why the hell this room has anything to do with LoK I don't know, but still-
*Bucky suddenly charges in and scratches Syvia's face, causing her to collapse to the ground in agony, making this even more pointless now*