Copyright © 2002 by Syvia & Demon Hunter Anamae. All Rights Reserved.
Disclaimer: The few things we own are listed here; ourselves and the Narrator, and Damion, the vampire formerly known as Ah-choo. Bucky the former chipmunk was inspired by the squirrel from The Emperor's New Groove. Phoebe, the head warden, and Marie, the Sarafan Lord's daughter, belong to DHA. Touching without permission will lead to legal action. Have a nice day. :-D
Authors' notes:
Noblewoman- How rude! *is shoved aside*
Fat Nobleman- *is pushed into a street lamp* I do say, watch where you're going, there!
Anamae- Hey, buddy- if my butt were as big as yours, I'd attach a bumper sticker to it, and some rear lights to warn people that you're coming!
Fat Nobleman- *flustered* Such uncouth words!
Anamae- I could be even more uncouth! For example, I could tell you to stick that walking cane of yours right up your big, fat-
Syvia- *pushing her way through the crowd to Anamae's side* Ah, ah, ah- no! Anamae! *grabs the young woman and drags her through the crowded streets of the Upper City* Don't start a brawl here. That guy looked ready to club you over the head.
Anamae- *scoffs, waves that away* He would have a heart attack if he tried to lift that cane of his! I should tell him some fat jokes and see if it does anything to his completion. *looks elsewhere, now bored* *perks up suddenly* Hey, an open doorway leading somewhere!
*She goes into the opened doorway and down the hallway. Syvia sighs and goes after her, but stops when Bucky grabs her ankle. On his back he's carrying a sack full of letters*
Syvia- Reviews?
Bucky- Screee! ^_^
Syvia- But Anamae is-
*Suddenly Anamae runs out of the building, a large rat rushing after her. She slams the door in the thing's face, throws a barrel in front of the door and props the nobleman's cane up there as well.*
Fat Nobleman- AHHH! *falls onto the ground*
Syvia- *gives her friend a look*
Anamae- Don't ask! *sees the letters* Reviews, eh? Let's get down to it!
Syvia- Concept of a Demon- *grins* Danger is our middle name! Well, actually, it's stupidity- but anyway-
Anamae- Raziella Darkmoon- thanx grl, here's more ficcy
Syvia- Sephiroth- :-D You're welcome. Glad that you're loving it.
Anamae- Rocker Baby- Excuse me? Excuse me? Are you trying to order me around?!
Syvia- *grabs Anamae as she tries to lunge at Rocker Baby* Anamae- there's no reason to... what am I saying- there's every reason to. *lets go of Anamae, who proceeds to wail on Rocker Baby's ass* Thanks for the review, though... such as it was. *shrieking from off screen* And thus I carry on. *Syvia continues to read reviews* Ooh!
Crystarr- Hey buddy! ^_^ *clicks a glass of watermelon-flavored alcohol with Crystarr's glass* Thankee for the review and the booze. ^_^
VladimirsAngel- Another buddy! ^_^ Heh, the infamous Scrabble set. Wait... it belongs to Lupa, and she gets annoyed with Vladimir for playing it? *considers* Yeah... that sounds like Vladimir and Lupa all right. Heh. *covers Janos' ears with her hands* Shhh! *winces at the bandages, but smiles* So are you. ^_^ And here we all are in the great constellation of LoK fics! *looks around* Oh look, there's DHA's star in Faustus'... uh... *weak grin* heh heh heh....
Fallen Templar- Heh, you're not wrong. *shrugs* We're just allowing him to be the best squirrel he can be. *whispers* Which is pretty dang violent & potty-mouthed at times. Woo-hoo! One mask for me! ^_^ *drools at the torture* ooooh....... do do that voodoo that you do so well... *shakes herself out of that
Discordia- Finally. :-p Thanks for the understanding. ^_^ Heh, not all the wrongs are righted, but they're all funny. :-D
Ratface- *looks at watch* Riiiiight abouuuuut..... now! *continued sounds of DHA and Rocker Baby fighting in the background*
~..............................................They All Came to Sanctuary............................................~
The Hylden caretaker looked over at Janos and sighed.
Caretaker- Look, I'm the only janitor keeping this place spotless and it isn't easy. So do something for me, mac, and don't puke all over your cage, okay? They don't pay me enough. *goes back to sweeping*
Well, the Device made a few burbling sounds as Anamae and Syvia, along with Bucky, stood around it, then there was the distinct sound of someone....well, sounding like they had eaten a full buffet and it hadn't agreed with them at all. What was worse- it smelled like that as well.
Bucky- *holding his nose* Yucky! Chirp! (Yucky! Chirp!)
Anamae- *grinning madly* At least now Hash'ak'git has something interesting to write in his memoirs. A few lines beginning with: 'How two girls that were not friends or even fangirls charged me' and then from there on....*Syvia gives her a strange look* What?
Syvia- Never mind. Now let's see what the Complete Strategy Guide calls for. *flips through it* Pour Hylden blood into the Device. Let sit for about 3 minutes, then mix 50 times... shake gently and bake at 450 degrees for ten minutes.
Anamae- *raised eyebrows* It actually says that?
It did, as she found out. So Syvia uncapped the Hylden blood that had somehow managed to survive the trip and, humming Raziel's theme, the girls poured the contents into the Device.
The building begin to shake.
Syvia- Is this suppose to happen? *sees girders fall down, gasps* Anamae, we gotta get outta here! *looks around* Where are you?
Syvia, she's already running across the platform to the elevator on the other side.
Syvia- What? *sees Anamae already waiting at the elevator* You coward!
Anamae- Hey! I could have left you behind, couldn't I? *Syvia flings herself into the elevator as the walkway collapses* That was not cowardice! It's called saving one's butt with style!
With a pull of the lever, the elevator shot upwards at a fantastic speed, the dangerous amount of G force plastering the girls and squirrel to the ground. The Device and everything surrounding it began to go up in flames. As Syvia screamed and held onto Bucky in terror, Anamae let out a wild whoop and began to cackle with glee.
She really is insane, you know that, Syvia?
Syvia- *moans* Please don't remind me!
The elevator finally arrived at the main level and Syvia jumped to the ground and started kissing it.
Syvia- *kiss* Eww, that tasted like peanuts. *kiss* And this tastes like grape soda. *kiss* And this tastes like....well, I'm not saying anything but you get the drift!
Anamae- *grabbing Syvia* C'mon, now we can go back to Janos! We saved him this time!
And when they got there-
Anamae- Woah! *wolf whistle* Where did you get fashion sense?!
The two young women stared at Janos, who wore a pair of the traditional leather pants and an odd kind of shirtless-shirt/belt combo.
Janos- I suppose it came back with me from death.
Anamae- I didn't think you were into jewelry....
Syvia- How did that happen by the way? *pulls out a pad of paper and a pencil and jams a funny little hat on her head* Inquiring minds want to know.
Janos- Well, I got a pair of earrings from Vorador for my three-thousandth birthday-
Syvia- Not that! Your resurrection!
Janos- Oh, well the story isn't THAT interesting, but if you really want to know...
Anamae, Syvia, Bucky- *nodnodnodnod*
Janos- It happened like this -****************** ****************************************************This information has been removed to save the readers from LoK: Defiance spoilers. *****************************************************************
Readers- That's not fair!
Ah, who asked ya'!?
The two girls and their squirrel were sitting on the floor, mouths hanging open in amazement. Janos grinned smugly, enjoying their reaction to the story.
Syvia- Now, I never expected THAT, that's for sure.
Anamae- Talk about a plot twist.
Bucky- Squeaky. (Darn tootin'.)
Janos- Come, let us go to Sanctuary and tell Vorador the good news.
Anamae- Vorador, huh?
Then the 'Vorador likes Syvia' gag from the first fic walked up to Syvia and hit her upside the head with a rubber chicken, smiled, bowed at the hordes of cheering readers, and walked out. Syvia rubbed her head and whimpered.
Anamae smirked and glanced slyly at Syvia, who swatted her on the shoulder. Anamae merely smirked wider and twiddled her fingers behind her back- one of which still displayed the fake wedding band. As Janos took each girl by the hand, (Bucky had taken up his customary seat on Syvia's shoulder) Syvia made a grab for the ring. Janos began the teleportation spell with Anamae smirking and Syvia glaring.
Because Syvia had grabbed for Anamae's ring (which was her own because she had thought of the idea well in advance and now Syvia couldn't help but be angry that she hadn't thought of it) she messed up the teleportation spell.
Oh, they all wound up in Sanctuary...
but not all in a dignified manner....
Janos teleported into the middle of the building underground, arriving in high style with his wings displayed and a wind blowing from somewhere, making him look all the more bishi and mystical. All the female vampires looked at the new arrival and couldn't help but swoon, even if they were already married to Vorador (as if that really mattered).
That was how Janos came to Sanctuary.
Bucky had scrambled up to Janos' shoulder when the Syvia/Anamae scuffle began, so he too arrived in high style, looking cute and mystical, wind blowing his fluffy tail around. The female vampires who managed to revive in the face of Janos' bishiness fainted again at the cuteness of Bucky. Even the little chipmunk PoPo squeaked in delight as little rodents were finally being mentioned in the games - then promptly fainted as well. Bucky puffed out his chest even more.
That was how Bucky came to Sanctuary.
Now to Anamae: *camera panes around quickly, looking for her* Hmm, she doesn't seem to be in the Sanctuary at all. Let's try outside. *view changes to outside* Oh-ho, there she is. What a wild and free spirit she is!
Anamae- Screw you, narrator! How can I be wild and free when I am dangling from the rain gutter, the seat of my pants caught on the metal? Get me down from here!
So I did. The pipe broke and Anamae fell into the Sanctuary, making a nice little hole of herself that would have to be repaired later and falling on one of the male vampires, breaking his left leg and right arm.
That was how she came to Sanctuary.
Now as for Syvia... *grins*
Janos- You didn't.
Anamae- Did you?
I did.
Anamae- Why?!
Because I love doing this sort of thing!
Janos- Did anyone ever tell you that you are one of the most annoying narrators in existance?
Watch it buddy or else I could make this rescue end just like the first one! Janos shut up rather quickly and tried to get the multiple brides to stop pawing him. And now- where Syvia ended up. *snickers*
Anamae- Man, you do have a sadistic side.
Now Syvia had also arrived at Sanctuary *Anamae breaths a sigh of relief* in Vorador's bedroom.
Anamae- WHAT?!?!
Syvia had with her the 'wedding ring' that Anamae had used before and was just slipping it onto her finger when she looked at her surroundings. Thick velvet drapes covered the stone walls and windows, the floor was carpeted a deep wine red, there was very expensive furniture lying around and then she realized that she was in a coffin. Yes, inside a white silk-lined coffin with Vorador beside her. Syvia had masterfully managed to fall in beside the horny vampire.
Vorador- *wakes up, looks over, surprised* Syvia, we meet again after all this time! ...How on earth did you remain so young? *looks her over, leers*
Syvia- Narrator, remind me to kill you after this...
No.
Vorador- So have you finally decided that perhaps there can be something between us, my dear? I am looking for a new bride and you could fit the bill very nicely. *leans into her* In fact if you give me half a chance, I am sure I could convince you that you and I are soul mates.
Syvia- *climbing (falling) quickly out of the coffin in a record time of 0.003 seconds* Vorador, so (not) good to see you too! Umm look, I already am married! *holds up the wedding ring*
Vorador- *climbing out of the coffin with a somber look on his face* Oh, then who is the unfortunate man whom I must kill? He can't be taking care of you because you don't look tended to.
He approached Syvia, motioning to the ruined clothing she wore and the dirt on her face. She didn't look tended to, but after running halfway to hell and back again, hey, who would?
Syvia- *backing away from Vorador, glances at the Narrator* Uh... thanks.
Hey, I'm not totally against you. Then, as Syvia bumped into the wall and Vorador started backing her into the corner, she quickly had to think up a name or something even worse would happen . . . but what it is I won't say because . . . because! Syvia, by this time, had become annoyed at the implication that she needed someone to look after her and stopped backing up. Vorador took the opportunity to put a hand on her shoulder. The girl didn't even notice. Don't worry though- she will. *smirks*
Syvia- Tended to? Tended to?! I don't need tending! Why I-
Then she remembered what Vorador had said about killing and stopped her rant.
Syvia- Uh... actually, I can't tell you!
Vorador- *sighs, rubs his forehead* Just tell me, my dear. He deserves to die for neglecting you.
Syvia- I really can't tell you because I- uh... don't know his name!
Vorador- What?
Syvia- *talking very quickly* Oh yes, it was one of those ancient ceremonies where the couple goes to the alter blindfolded and they don't get to reveal their faces until after the vows have been given.
Syvia attempted to back away from Vorador, but the vampire's hand was more or less welded to her shoulder by this time, and the girl sprang back like a rubber band. Hey, hon, you gave him the opening. Syvia whimpered softly as her attempts to move Vorador's hand went completely unnoticed.
Vorador- *pulling her in closer* So you got married and did not see his face, learn his name or anything else?
Syvia- *shoving her elbow into his stomach* Yes that's right!
Vorador- *tilting her chin up* Well then, what did he look like?
Syvia- *'deer in the headlights' look as Vorador leans down for a kiss* Uh...
Actually, I'd say you've got more of a 'deer in the headlights of an eighteen wheeler doing 130 with the driver leaning out the window and whooping like a cowboy' look, but that's just me. *clears throat* But just then, Anamae and Janos burst into the room and, seeing his Maker for the first time in centuries, Vorador dropped Syvia in surprise.
Syvia- Ow! Really?!
Yeah, I think I've made you squirm long enough.
Syvia- Oh thankyou thankyou thankyou!
Anamae- Syvia are you okay?
Syvia- *profoundly relieved smile* The narrator took pity on me!
Vorador- *wide eyes* Master, is that you?!
Janos- Yes, it is me, you incompetent child! Who would have thought that you, of all people, would not come to rescue me but these two girls did? What was I thinking when I made you?!
Vorador- *puppy-dog eyes* Father, are you angry at me?
Anamae- I think he is. *snickers*
Vorador- Hey, shut up!
And with that the vampire who looked like the Grinch (c'mon, it's true people) tried to take out Anamae's eyes. She jumped back and bumped into Janos, who in turn bumped into Syvia, who fell into the coffin with Janos on top of her. And the latch clicked shut.
Vorador- So he was the one in the blindfolded wedding?
Anamae- Huh?
Vorador- Read the above to understand what I mean. I'm too lazy to say it.
Anamae looked up, read, then looked back over at Vorador.
Anamae- You're such a dog.
Vorador- *growls* Shut up!
Janos- *muffled inside the coffin* Can someone please help us out? It is very tight in here!
=================================================
Anamae- *sing-song* And on that note- *Syvia is blushing fiercely* we end the chapter!
Syvia- It's a lot more innocent than it sounds!
Anamae- *snickers* Suuuuuuuuure it is.
Syvia- Really! Hit us with 10 reviews and I'll prove it's more innocent than it sounds.
Anamae- *snickering* It's not, really people.
Syvia- You lie!!!!
Anamae- Yeah, but I do it better than other people.
Moebius- *comes in* Better than me.
Anamae- I'm on par with you, buddy. We took the same class together.
Syvia- Do I want to know about this?
Anamae- *looks to the people* Ten reviews!