Copyright © 2002 by Syvia & Demon Hunter Anamae. All Rights Reserved.
Disclaimer: The few things we own are listed here; ourselves and the Narrator, and Damion, the vampire formerly known as Ah-choo. Bucky the former chipmunk was inspired by the squirrel from The Emperor's New Groove. Phoebe, the head warden, and Marie, the Sarafan Lord's daughter, belong to DHA. Touching without permission will lead to legal action. Have a nice day. :-D
Authors' Notes:
*Anamae and Syvia are sitting on the docks of Meridian, looking out across the waters. Raziel comes up to them, looks at what they're looking at, then at them, and then back across the waves.*
Raziel - So, what are you doing?
Syvia - *turns to look at Raz slowly* Oh, it's you. *looks back to the water* Waiting for Cadeau.
Anamae - *in a monotone voice* Yes, Cadeau. *they both go back to watching*
Raziel - Has he come yet?
Anamae - No.
Syvia - Cadeau will come when Cadeau will come. It is neither a man nor a woman. Something beyond that, something so profound that when Cadeau arrives, we will be the first to greet Cadeau. And we won't be waiting in line.
*The two suddenly jump up, link arms, and start doing a can-can while smashing plates on the dock*
Anamae & Syvia - *singing* Oh yes we learned a lot from that scene! *smash* Yes, we learned a lot indeed! *smash* Yes so much it was quite obscene!
*Raziel at this point had turned tail and run, not wanting to know what the girls have been doing, what they are thinking, or what is about to happen*
Syvia- *can-caning around* And now it is time for the letters!
Discordia- *grins* Heh, Kain is so much fun to humiliate. ^_^
Anamae- *covered in little bits of plastic & circuitry, ominously* The XP is no more. Here's the update. ^_^
Syvia- VladimirsAngel- *lol, hugs* There you go, Kain, a fangirl to make you all the pain go away... or make more *evil grin* One never knows which. Thanks for the review!
Anamae- *winces at the sound of Vorador's wife's voice coming out of the mobile* Wow... her voice is almost higher than yours! If she gets to you, she'll probably show everyone why you still hold the record for shrillest scream in Nosgoth. ^_^ Concept of a Demon- *two thumbs up* All missions accomplished.
Syvia- *grimaces* ... I use Windows 98. *Anamae points and laughs.* Ratface- Thank you very much!
Anamae- Sylvanon- You're welcome. :-D Mourning Bloodytears- You're welcome and use it in good health! *whispers* If the Sarafan ask you where you got it, just remember- you don't know me!
Syvia- *chuckling* Fallen Templar- Heh, well yes, Kain would've been unlikely to beat Sebastian... if we were playing by the rules. *innocent face* *whistles at the $500* Thank you! ^_^
Anamae- Here, give me that. *holds her hand out for the money*
Syvia- What? No! You've got your own!
Anamae- You're going to owe it to me in a few chapters anyway.
Syvia- *shushes her* Spoilers! Stop that! *hands over the money*
Anamae- ^_^ Chalcedony Blue- *lol* That is a good idea... and one that could be a lot of fun for... *mindful of the spoilers* that thing, later.
Syvia- *huggles three Janos plushies and laughs at Anamae, who is buried under a mound of them. Thanks, hon!
Anamae- I'm buried in Fausties! *whistles* Cat of Fluff- *offers a Sebastian plushie* Here's the requested update! *Syvia begins to dig Anamae out of the stuffed animals*
~..........................................Bucky's Moment in the Limelight........................................~
Syvia- *entranced* Anamae... Anamae, lemme borrow your phone again.
Anamae wordlessly handed over the phone. Syvia quickly dialed 777-FALLEN-ANGEL-OF-DEATH.
Syvia- *to the person on the other end* Kain's having a nervous breakdown! Get here quick!
Soul Reaver Raziel appeared out of nowhere and stood beside the growing crowd.
SR Raz- ...There are no words to describe it...
Everyone nodded, agreeing.
Syvia- ...I feel like we should be selling tickets... but I can't tear my eyes away long enough to do anything about it.
Anamae- *sly look* What a good idea.
So while Kain and Sebastian are crying, remembering the good old days when they had still been friends and wondering where it had all gone wrong, Syvia and Anamae quickly set up a booth out front and began charging everyone $5 to take a look at the great vampire master of Nosgoth crying like a little girl.
Bucky escorted the paying customers into the booth, where they saw with shock Kain indeed bawling like a child. Janos approached the two girls who were counting over the money.
Janos- Isn't that wrong, taking advantage of Kain's weakness like that?
Anamae was too engrossed with counting the money, the shiny coins and the paper bills, so Syvia had to answer the question.
Syvia- We need the money.
Janos- Why? You can always borrow off of Vorador and he'll allow it.
Vorador- That's my one weakness; I let every pretty lady walk right over me.
Anamae- 6,001, 6,002, 6,098....I lost count again! *gleefully stacks the money around her* I'm a happy miser.
Syvia tried to explain to Janos that sometime in everyone's life they had to be taken advantage of, no matter what. He had been Nosgoth's whipping boy for far too long, so it was time for someone else - namely Kain - to fill in that position for a while. The girls were so engrossed in their little money making scheme that they once again forgot their original intent: to protect Janos. So it was no surprise to me-
Anamae- What the hell do you mean by that?!
- when a group of Hylden (yes, the Hylden themselves) flooded the streets with water, making all the vampires burn as they ran for high ground and while Janos was up and flying away from said dangerous liquid, he was caught by the Sarafan Lord in a large net.
Janos- Oh no. Not again.
Anamae and Syvia were swept along by the powerful current that had been created by the dam, three miles up from Meridian, being broken. Anamae was holding onto the money with all of her might but because I am mean, I caused her to drop all of it in the water.
Anamae- Damn you!
Syvia- *holding onto the edge of a roof* Janos! We'll save you yet!
Janos- *rolls eyes* Don't bother. I'll only get killed again!
Sarafan Lord- Well, we're going to kill you and make sure the job is done for good!
Janos- ...*looks at Syvia and Anamae* HELP! DEAR GOD, HELP ME!
And as Janos was taken away across the ocean to the Hylden City *nudgenudge winkwink* Bucky knew they would need a new boat to go and get him.
Marcus- *on the roof* I'm bald!!!! The water burnt off all my hair!
Sebastian- You were always bald, you idiot!
Anamae- *authoritatively* Okay! We need a boat and we need one now! To the wharves!
So several people who wanted to save Janos (and several people who didn't know what the heck was going on, but on hearing orders, were only too happy to follow them) trooped off to the wharves. Kain, still wiping tears from his eyes, got up and stumbled after the group.
Before long, the group (which consisted of all current Cabal members, Kain, Raziel, a group of clueless humans, Our three protagonists, and oddly enough, Moebius) got to the wharves.
Anamae- *peeks around a corner* Okay. There's a ship that just docked there and they're loading it. Let's sneak into some of the crates they're loading and get on the ship that way.
Bucky- Squen Squeakic.
Syvia- Bucky! You *%&$ use language like that again and I'll %&$*^#% take you over my knee and spank you, you little #&$%.
Random Wife- Gee... I wonder where he gets it?
Syvia glared. Bucky apologized sullenly and reiterated his distaste for the stealthy approach. I was right, he IS developing an attitude problem.
Syvia- Hey! That's MY kid you're talking about, #^$%.
Okay! Okay!
Syvia- Bucky, what do YOU think we should do?
Vorador- You take orders from a squirrel?
Anamae- *shrugs* It's worked in the past.
Bucky- Squeak, squeaker squeak. Squeakity squeakin, squeakity, squeak. Squea squeaky squeak.
Random Human at the back of the crowd- What did he just say?
Anamae- 'Kill the crew, take the ship.'
Random Human- It took him THAT long to say six words?
Anamae- No, I edited out the more gory parts.
Syvia- So, any objections?
The vampires grinned and shook their heads. The humans looked intimidated and agreed just to be agreeable. Bucky squeaked in approval, pulled out a six-foot sword, screamed a blood-curdling war cry and scampered towards the ship. The vampires followed with enthusiastic cries of their own. Half the humans followed, getting into the spirit of things- the other half slunk off while no one was looking.
Syvia- *sniffles* My little baby's all grown up and killing people. I'm so proud!
Whereupon she dissolved into tears on Anamae's shoulder, who patted her back comfortingly. Raziel stood watching Bucky wield the sword with a thoughtful look on his half-face.
Raziel- ...There is something profoundly wrong about this... I just can't put my talon on it.
Moebius shrugged, unconcerned.
Bucky, using the kung-fu moves that he had seen in an endless number of martial arts videos, quickly dissected the crew and then rolled their heads off the edge of the boat. Moebius watched the squirrel and grimaced.
Bucky- Squeeeeeeeeee....
Moebius- *to Vorador* What did he say?
Vorador- Something along the lines of 'You're next'.
Moebius- Oh dear.
Kain- Now I will be captain of this ship!
Wife no.34- Why you?
Kain- Because I have the hat! *points to the captain hat*
Bucky chattered angrily, saying that he should be the captain because he led the boarding party. Some of the vampires agreed with the little animal and some others sided with Kain. The human crew was casting off as the fighting was still going on. Anamae decided that as the ship was not being steered out of the harbor, she would take over. Pulling out the Idiot's Guide to Sailing a Boat to the Hylden City, (even though the boat they'd stolen wasn't really a sailboat) she took her eyes off the river and bashed the ship into one of the lighthouses, which incidentally fell on the second half of the orphanage, crushing the sick children inside.
Syvia- *winces, then shrugs* Does that count for any points?
Kain- 10,000. And I am still captain. Move out of the way. *shoves Anamae away from the wheel* Now this is how you steer!
Moebius- Kain?
Kain- What, old man? If you say something I don't like I will severely injure you.
Moebius- *rolls his eyes* We're heading back the way we came.
Kain looked at the wharves, which were indeed coming back into view. The vampires looked at Kain, then at Bucky who had folded his little paws over his chest and was nodding to himself. He should have been the captain.
Kain- *hitting reverse* I meant to do that.
Syvia- Sure you did. And now onto save Janos! *climbs up to the crow's nest* I'm queen of the world!
Anamae- *shouting from below* That is so old, Syvia. Get something new, for crying out loud!
Syvia- Oh, go and %^#$$ yourself, Anamae! I'll do what I @##$!$ please to do and you can't do anything @%&%$& about it!
Syvia, I'm surprised! Such foul language!
Syvia- Hey, it'll be my secret weapon against the Hylden! That, bad sentencing structure and childish grammar. It'll kill them.
Vorador- Hey, I found a piano! *plays a honky-tonky '20's swing music*
Moebius- What type of rescue party is this?
Anamae- The one from hell.
Raziel- Been there, done that. The price for the barge ride was expensive enough as it was.
Anamae- Must you dump on everything that we do?
Raziel- ...yes.
===========================================
Anamae- *smashes another plate among assorted plushies* So who the hell was Cadeau?
Syvia- *shrugs* You got me. *takes the whole crate of plates and tosses them out into the water*
Anamae- Well, it sure scared Raziel.
Syvia- Indeed it did. Now where is Bucky? *looks around for him* *sees the squirrel in a paper boat on the docks, with a miniature captain's hat on his head*
Anamae & Syvia- *singing in swing style* Oh, we learned a lot from that scene!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *they both takes deep breathes* Sceeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeennnnnnnneeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!! *both collapse on the ground*
Bucky- Chirpity! (You people don't want to know! Tell the whole world! This is the opening and closing so far that by far doesn't make any sense! Why are you laughing at this? There isn't anything funny in this!!)