*Note from the author: Watch for "Robo's Story" in the Chrono Trigger
Section!*
KART CHAMPIONS
EPISODE III
"THE DISAPPEARANCE"
*FEATURING CHEF TORTE FROM SUPER MARIO RPG*
*Mario reaches in and takes the lasagna out of the microwave and is just about to take a bite... and then he suddenly sits up. There is a knock at the door. Someone snickers on the other side. There is the sound of something heavy being dragged on the other side. The person knocks again...exactly like his dream*
Mario: *Freezes in place* No... NO... NO...!!
*The doorknob slowly turns...*
Mario: NO!!!
*The door begins to open...slowly, slowly...*
Mario: NO!!!! AAAHHHH!!!!!!
*Several minutes earlier, at Peach's*
Peach: Is it ready, Yoshi?
Yoshi: Uh, yeah! Here, let's put it on the cart.
*Peach has asked the cook at the resort, Chef Torte, to bake a giant cake for Mario*
Peach: I've got this end... Ungh... Why is this cake so heavy?! This should be really
easy to carry! It's just a cake!! *Holds one side, as Yoshi holds the other*
*They slowly lower it onto the little cart. It is perfect, down to the last frosting bow*
Yoshi: Yeah, that is pretty weird... Let's bring this to Mario's. Oh, this'll be great!
*The two wheel the heavy cart down the hallway to Mario's room*
Yoshi: All right, we're here.
Peach: How're we gonna get it through?
Yoshi: I dunno, I guess that's Mario's problem... *Knocks on the door*
Peach: *Giggles – Is really excited* Hey, Yoshi. Help me with this...
*They drag the heavy cart right up to the door*
Yoshi: *Knocks again* Where is he?
Peach: Let's try the door, maybe he's inside... *Begins to open the door*
*Suddenly there is the sound of something jerking quickly and someone yelling:*
Mario: No... NO... NO...!!
Peach: What was that all about? Mario? Is that you? *Pushes the door open*
Mario: NO!!!
Yoshi: Um, Mario? What's going on??
Mario: NO!!!! AAAHHHH!!!!!!
*Peach looks in. Mario is on the floor, his chair toppled backwards. He is wild-eyed, panting, and sweating. He is staring frantically at Peach, Yoshi, and the cake. Bits of lasagna are on the floor and around on his face*
Peach: *Looks in horror* Mario!! Are you all right??? *Rushes in and helps him up*
Mario: Ungh... *Passes out*
Yoshi: Oh, MAN! I wonder what happened to him...
Peach: I don't know, but let's put him on his bed...
*They leave the cake on the floor in Mario's room and lay Mario on his bed. They figure a good-night's rest should cure whatever problem he had...*
*Meanwhile, in the resort kitchen...*
Bowser: Did you do it?? Did you put him in?!
Chef Torte: *Looks guilty, and says in his accent:* Vell, yes...
Bowser: Perfect! Mario will never know!! It's time to get him BACK for what he did to
me!!! Oh, excellent! *Rushes away* Lakitu said I HAD to give Luigi back,
but no one ever said I couldn't trade him for Mario!! The only one who saves
people around here is Mario. But if I have HIM, no one can save him!!! Bwa
ha ha hah!!
Chef Torte: Vat have I done?! Oh no! I must tell Mario about zees!
*But it is too late...*
*At Mario's room – it's midnight*
Chef Torte's Apprentice: *Jumps out of cake, drags Luigi with him* Okay...zere eez
Mario... *Throws Luigi on other bed, grabs Mario, opens the
door, and runs outside the resort. Bowser's airship is waiting*
*Torte's Apprentice opens the door to the airship and runs inside. Chef Torte, and all of the Bowser's Koopa army are inside*
Bowser: BWA HA HA HA HAH!!! NO ONE TO SAVE YOU NOW, MARIO!!!
Torte!! I have something for you to do!! *Whispers something in Torte's ear*
Chef Torte: Yes, okay... *Looks at Mario* ...But zees eez not part of ze deal!!
Bowser: As long as I've got THIS... *Takes something out and Torte backs away in
horror* ...I CAN CHANGE THE DEAL IF I WANT!!! BWA HA HAH!!!
Chef Torte: Okay...okay...I...I...will do zees...
Bowser: See that you do. Iggy! Morton! Get them out of my sight!!
*Bowser leaps out of the airship, and it pulls away into the darkness*
Bowser: There is not one person in this resort who knows about my plot but me!! Torte,
his apprentice, and Mario are all on the airship! And when Wario returns,
everyone will think HE did it!!! Mario, it's time to PAY for what you did to
me!!!! If I hold you until the grand prix is over, guess what Mario?! I WIN.
*Bowser fades into the darkness*
*The hours pass...*
*...And dawn arrives!*
*Luigi, used to getting up early, always wakes at dawn. However, because of his ordeal the previous day, he doesn't wake up at his normal time. In fact, he is still asleep at 8:00. 9:00. Still asleep. 10:00...11:00...will he ever wake up? 12:00...1:00...suddenly, Luigi sits up*
Luigi: Oh geez! This is BAD!! I've slept WAY too long!! I wonder what time it is?!
*Looks at his watch. His eyes go wide as he looks in horror. All his life, he has
been prompt, on time. Never late* AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!
*Faints*
*Unfortunately for Luigi, he didn't wake up until 7:30 at night, because he fainted*
*At 7:30, Luigi looks at his watch*
Luigi: AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!! *Stands up immediately and
runs out the door of his room*
Peach: *Opens the door to her room* What's going on?!
*Luigi runs down the hall, screaming in terror. He runs outside, but hears Peach calling and looks behind him. He turns back around and runs directly into a tree. He is knocked unconcious*
Peach: Hmm...oh well! Wonder who that was... *Shuts the door...opens it again as she
gets an idea. Walks to Toad's room* Hey, Toad!
Toad: *Rushes to the door* Yes, your highness?
Peach: Could you see if you could find Mario and Luigi for me? They've been gone all
day...it would be really great if you could do that.
Toad: Of course, your majesty. *Begins to walk away*
Peach: *Spins Toad around to face her* I thought I told you to stop calling me that!
Toad: Yes, your maj...err...yes, ma'am... *Begins to walk away*
Peach: *Spins Toad around again* And don't fall in that pit again!
Toad: Of course, your highness. *Begins to walk away*
Peach: *Spins Toad around again* Go on! What's taking so long? Hurry up!
Toad: Err...yes, your majesty. *Runs quickly, barely avoids Peach*
Peach: Hmph... *Turns around and starts to walk away...suddenly, there is a tug on her
dress. She turns around*
Toad: Sorry, m'lady. I can't find them.
Peach: How did you look for them so fast?
Toad: Well, I went outside, I looked to the left, I stepped with my left foot, I stepped
with my right foot, I stepped with my left foot, I stepped with my right foot, I
tripped over a rock, I looked to my right, I got up, I looked behind a bush, I
stepped with my left foot, I stepped with my...
Peach: Enough with the commentary! I mean how did you do it so fast?!
Toad: Well, Luigi was right there in front of me, but...
Peach: What?! You told me you COULDN'T FIND THEM!!
Toad: Well, see ma'am, you asked me to find Mario AND Luigi, and I only found Luigi
out there, so you see...
Peach: I DON'T CARE!!!
Toad: Please calm down, your majesty.
Peach: Was Mario there? Or was it only Luigi?!
Toad: No, I'm sorry, it was only Luigi...
Peach: Well then, bring HIM in here!!
Toad: Yes, m'lady. *Speeds off*
Peach: Hmph... *Turns around and starts to walk away...suddenly, there is a tug on her
dress. She turns around* WHAT?!
Toad: I...err...he's no longer there, your majesty.
Peach: OK, Toad. Here's a little piece of advice. How about you DON'T tell me when
there is a change of plans??
Toad: Err...yes, your highness. Shall I go look some more?
Peach: *Waves her hand in defeat* You go ahead and do that, Toad. *Goes in her
room, shuts the door, falls on her bed, and instantly falls asleep*
*It is about 1:00 in the morning. Toad is still searching*
Toad: Hmm...not over there...WHAT THE...?!
*Bowser's airship swoops overhead. Toad ducks down behind a clump of bushes to see*
*The airship slowly lands, the propellors slowing, and once again all is silent*
*Bowser steps out – his gleaming eyes sweeping the darkness. Toad whimpers, cowering in fear. Suddenly, Bowser's eyes seem to lock onto the bushes in which Toad is hiding. He squints, looking directly at Toad, but not quite seeing him. Bowser calls Ludwig out of the airship and whispers something in his ear. And points, directly at Toad's hiding spot. Ludwig nods, and puts on his best evil grimace. He begins to walk toward Toad, growling and sniffing the air*
Toad: *Eyes go wide in horror* Oh no...
*Meanwhile, inside, Peach is having a nightmare*
Peach: No...NO! Mario, stop!...Stop...!...Don't do this...NO!!!
*Her own voice wakes her up. She had been having the same dream for a week: She is captured by Bowser, and Mario sacrifices his life to save her*
Peach: *Sighs, gets up to get a drink of water* Mario...
*A beam of light from the airship shines through the window. Had Peach not have stood up to get a drink, she might not have noticed*
Peach: What's that?? I'd better go have a look.
*On Koopa Troopa Island*
Wario: That idiot LIED TO ME!!! There wasn't a ferry! There wasn't a FERRY!!
Okay, that's it. I'm gonna swim!! *Dives into the water* Ah! Ahh! It's cold!
FREEZING!! *Leaps back to shore* NO!!!! I'm gonna GET YOU, MARIO!!!
*Wario grabs a boat that is currently being used by a Koopa for fishing. Wario throws the man out and begins to row back to the resort*
*At the resort, Ludwig is standing directly over the bush*
Ludwig: Nya ha ha hah! *Breathes in deeply, raises his head, rears up, and blows a
stream of fire directly into the bush*
Bowser: HA HA HA HAH!!!
*The bush slowly turns to a blackened, charred, mess*
Ludwig: NYA HA HA...HUH?!
*Toad is nowhere to be seen*
Bowser: Hmm...guess there wasn't anyone...Ludwig! Look around some more...
Ludwig: Yes, sir! Right on it, sir!
*Ludwig begins stomping through the bushes in the back of the resort. Toad is hiding under the bridge to the Eastern Woods. Unfortunately, Ludwig is headed directly to that area now*
Ludwig: Hmm... *Looks at the bridge*
Toad: Yikes...! *Drops into the river and swims downstream. Gets off at the beach and
runs for his life*
Ludwig: HEY, YOU!! COME BACK HERE!!! NO!!!! *Throws a stream of fire into
the foggy air*
Bowser: There's the signal! He's found him!!
Iggy: Should we fly over there sir?
Bowser: Of course, numbskull! Get going!!
*Bowser's airship swoops toward Ludwig and quickly lands*
Bowser: Where?! Where is he?!
Ludwig: I've lost him...
Bowser: Well?! Where'd he go??
Ludwig: *Points downstream* That way.
Bowser: Well? Let's catch him! If word gets out about this, everything will be ruined!!!
Wendy: Ready for takeoff!
*The airship slowly rises into the night sky*
*The hours pass...a sweating, shivering Toad has found refuge on a big stone slab under the dock and has somehow fallen asleep*
*Dawn comes, and Toad awakes, staring directly into Wario's face*
Toad: GYYAAAHHH!!!! *Leaps up and streaks away*
Wario: GWA HA HA HAH!!! Mario had better watch his STEP!! *Barges into the
distance, toward the resort lobby*
Peach: *Watching through the bushes* Good thing that light woke me up! I might have
missed this...I'd better warn Mario...if I can ever find him...or Toad...or Luigi...
*Walks away*
*And what has become of Luigi?*
*Luigi had gotten up between "Toad checks" and run behind the building. There, he fell into a dark hole that he probably wouldn't even have noticed if it were daytime. He landed in a dark, secret room. When he flipped the lights, all he saw was a shelf filled with stuffed cat toys. A real cat was in a cage in the bottom, currently asleep. During that time, Luigi had said:*
Luigi: Cats...CATS...! I'm allergic to csts!!! Ah, AH, AH-CHOO!!!
*His hand had flown up during his sneeze and had flipped the light switch. In the dark, he stumbled into the shelf of stuffed cats and broke it. Stuffed cats went flying everywhere, the broken shelf fell on his head, and he was...you guessed it, knocked out*
*Every so often Bowser or one of his cronies would show up, and grab a stuffed cat, and leave. Fortunately, since Luigi was buried in the cats, Bowser didn't notice. That is where he is currently*
*And what has Mario gotten himself into?*
*Mario is currently hanging on a dirty, stone wall, his hands chained to the bricks. He is dirty, hungry, and in severe pain. Whenever he moves his hands, the shackles only cut into his wrists even more. Let's see how he's doing right now*
Mario: Aahh!...Ungh...
*And that's about it...Mario looks at the Koopa guard*
Mario: Please! Please take these things off...! Let me out of here!!
Koopa: heh heh heh heh. Master Bowser says this's just what ya deserve.
Mario: At least tell me where I am!
Koopa: You're in Bowser's Castle. And you ain't leavin' till he deals with ya.
Mario: Bowser's Castle?! What about the resort?!
Koopa: Oh, you ain't goin' back there fer a long time...so yeh'd best make do with
watcha got, eh? Heh heh heh.
*Mario thinks..."Hmm, there's gotta be a way to get him down here..." He then gets an idea, and decides he's going to try to pull it off. He clutches his stomach and groans in pain...the Koopa looks at him in curiosity*
Mario: Ooohhhh...Unngghhh...
Koopa: Hey, you! What's goin' on down there?!
Mario: The pain, the pain...
Koopa: What? *Jumps down to Mario's cell* What pain?
Mario: YOURS! *Slams his feet into the Koopa's chest and the Koopa falls down,
knocked out*
*Mario pulls him up with his feet and grabs the key from the Koopa's pocket. He then undoes the shackles. He jumps out, puts the Koopa in the shackles, and locks them. He drops the key in his pocket, and runs*
*As Mario is running by, Chef Torte yells from one of the other cells:*
Chef Torte: Help!! Geet me out of zees!!!
*Mario stops, and undoes the shackles holding Torte*
Chef Torte: Thank you, Mario! Vat have I done?! Zees eez all my fault!
Mario: That's fine. Let's get out of here!
Chef Torte: Okay, but you must save my apprentice, too! He eez next door!
Mario: Okay, sure. *Undoes the shackles*
Chef Torte's Apprentice: NOW EET EEZ TIME FOR YOU TO DIE!!
Chef Torte: Vat are you talking about?!
Chef Torte's Apprentice: You should have sided wees Meester Bowsehr when you had
ze chance! But now eet eez too late for you! *Runs down the
hall* Meester Bowsehr!! Meester Bowsehr!!!
Chef Torte: Vat a shame. I shall never hire heem again!
Mario: Well, we're in trouble now, so let's go as fast as we can!
Chef Torte: Yes!! We must save my cat!!
Mario: ???
*Meanwhile, Luigi has just gotten up. He has brushed off all the stuffed cats and found the ladder out of the room. He finds his way to the front of the resort. It is now 7:00*
Luigi: Yes! It's still morning! I'm finally early...I think I'll go talk to Peach.
*Luigi walks to Peach's room and hears Toad attempting to say something rapidly through chattering teeth to Peach*
Toad: A-and..B–B-Bowser tried t–to kill me...
Peach: Toad! You're sure you're all right?
Toad: Y-yes, your m-majesty.
Peach: Please don't call me that! But why didn't you come in and tell me instead of
hiding at the beach?
Toad: B-because y-y-you ordered m-me not to t-t-tell you if there was a change of p-p-
plans...and so I...j-j-just thought that you wouldn't w-want t-t- to hear...
Peach: Toad! You didn't have to do that! I'm not your overlord or something, you
know. If there's something really important, you don't have to strictly obey my
every order...
Toad: R-r-really??
Peach: Really.
Toad: Wow!
Peach: Oh, Luigi! THERE you are! Toad was looking for you all night! Would you
happen to know where Mario is??
Luigi: Well, no, but there's something you've gotta hear about!
*Luigi tells her about the Bowser's strange, secret stuffed-cat room*
Peach: Ooookaayyy, that's a little weird, but then again, what about Bowser isn't?
*Peach's eyes narrow as she suddenly remembers something* Luigi, when you
woke up in your room, did you happen to notice if Mario was there??
Luigi: No...
Peach: Too bad, I wish you'd seen...
Luigi: No! I mean "no" as in "no, he wasn't there."
Peach: Ah! Well, that clears something up. I'm willing to bet that Bowser did
something to that cake we left in Mario's room. THAT was why it was so heavy.
He just traded Mario for you!
Toad: *Gasps*
Luigi: How much??
Peach: What???
Luigi: How much would you be willing to bet?
Peach: Oh, shut up. ANYWAY, we've got to rescue him!
Toad: But we don't even know where he is!
Peach: Let's check his room...we might find some clues there!
*They go to Mario's room and enter. The chair is still backwards on the floor with the rotten plate of lasagna on top of it. The cake is still there on the floor, with the top busted open*
Luigi: *Points excitedly* Peach! Peach! Look!
Peach: Geez, I see it, I see it!!
Luigi: I win the bet!
Toad: Huh?!
Peach: What bet?
Luigi: Forget it...
Peach: Anyway, that's probably how they got Mario. Bowser must've hid someone in
the cake, and when Mario was asleep, they just grabbed him and ran...
Toad: You know what? I'll bet Bowser took him to his castle. That's the only other
place besides the resort that he really could have gone. And no, Luigi, I'm not
ACTUALLY betting anything.
Luigi: Aww, well then I WILL! I'll bet 5 coins that they took him to Bowser's Castle!
Peach: Luigi, shut up. Toad, you're probably right. But what can we do about it?
Toad: We'll have to get everyone to come with us, but then we can head over there and
storm the castle! We'll FORCE Bowser to give him back!
Luigi: Oh, THAT should be interesting...I've got a better idea...let's give Bowser
whatever ransom he's demanding so he'll GIVE Mario back?!
Peach: Luigi, you're driving me NUTS!
Luigi: Okay, okay, whatever...
Toad: Let's go get Yoshi and DK! It's OFF TO BOWSER'S CASTLE!!!
*Wario is listening through the door and hears everything*
Wario: Hmm...Peach and Toad, they're all for this idea, but if I could convince Luigi...
*Wario stalks away*
Peach: Toad, c'mon! Let's go get them!
Toad: Yeah! We'll be right back, Luigi.
Luigi: OK!
*Peach and Toad leave. Minutes later, Wario shows up*
Wario: Hey, it's Luigi, my good friend! *Gives a big fake smile*
Luigi: GYAAAHHHH!!! *Starts to run*
Wario: *Grabs his shirt* And since you're my GOOD FRIEND, I'm sure you wouldn't
mind DOING a few things for me!!
Luigi: I...um...no, Wario...er...of course not. Would you mind letting go of my shirt?!
Wario: Very NICE of you! Now here's what you've gotta do...
*In Bowser's Castle*
Mario: Torte, hurry! We've gotta get outta here before your friend tells Bowser!!
Chef Torte: He eez not my friend. He vanted cooking experience, but I didn't know...
Mario: Yes, well...
*Suddenly, a loud alarm and red blinking lights fill the hallway*
Mario: Ooohhhh geez, we've gotta get out of here NOW!!!
Chef Torte: Let's go!!
*Three Goomba guards come rushing around the corner. They all focus on Mario*
Goomba: Hold it right there!
Mario: Hold what? THIS? *Takes a mallet out of his pocket and smashes one of them*
*The Goomba is knocked out. Mario begins wrestling with the second. The third, unnoticed, advances slowly forward*
Mario: Take this!! *Slugs the one he was wrestling with, knocks it out* Well, I guess
that's all of...AAAHHH!!
*The third Goomba pounces toward Mario, its teeth flashing. Suddenly, a spatula appears and smacks the Goomba into oblivion*
Mario: ...Wha... *Turns around to face a panting Torte, who is holding a spatula in his
left hand*
Chef Torte: I always knew eet would come een handy someday!...
Mario: Thanks! Let's go!!
*Back at the resort*
Toad: Let's go! Here comes the bus!
*They have called the Nimbus Land Bus to help them to Bowser's Castle*
Bus Driver: Hello, folks! Hey, it's the dude in the green hat again! I remember you!
Here, why doncha pick a movie?!
Luigi: Err, no thanks...
*The bus lifts off and Luigi actually manages not to look out the side once*
*The group is about three-quarters of the way there when the bus has a problem. The bus, every few seconds, gives a violent shake*
Bus Driver: Sorry, folks, just a little bit 'o turbulence, we should be there in no time!
*But the bus continues to shake. Finally, it begins to lose speed, and drop slowly*
Bus Driver: Uh oh! Well, we're comin' down for an emergency landing!
Luigi: AAAHHHHH!!!!!
Peach: We're only dropping at, like, a foot every second or so Luigi...
Luigi: AAAHHHHH!!!!!
Peach: Whatever...
Toad: Luigi, we're coming down on some trees, anyway...
Luigi: AAAHHHHH!!!!!
DK: Geez, at least it's not a desert! And I know my way all around THIS jungle!
Toad: Really? Hey, that's great!
Luigi: AAAHHHHH!!!!!
Yoshi: Luigi, shut up! Ooohhh, bananas!!
DK: *Goes bug-eyed* BANANAS?!
Yoshi: *Lashes out with his long tongue and grabs a banana* Mmmm...
DK: BANANAS?!
Luigi: AAAHHHHH!!!!!
Bus Driver: All right! We're down! Do you guys need a map or somethin' to get out of
the jungle? I've got one here...
DK: Nah. I can make it outta THIS place with my eyes closed!
Bus Driver: OK. Now, as for YOU... *Begins to work on the bus*
Luigi: AAAHHHHH!!!!!
Yoshi: Luigi, we're down already!!
Luigi: Eh? Oh...
*They walk into the trees*
DK: BANANAS?! *Runs off into the jungle*
Yoshi: Wait for me!!
*Silence for minutes*
Toad: Eh...um...Luigi? Do you know your way outta here?
Luigi: Err...no, what about you, Peach?
Peach: Nope...um...maybe we should just go wait back by the bus?...
Toad: Sounds good to me.
Luigi: Let's go!
*Everyone stands still*
Peach: Err...which way is the bus?
Toad: I dunno...
Luigi: Should we just wait here??
Peach: What if they expect us to keep going?
Toad: But what if we go, and they come back and we're not here?
Luigi: What if we go look for them?
Peach: Does that sound good to you?
Toad: Sure. Let's go! *They leave*
*Only seconds later, DK and Yoshi show up, their arms full of bananas*
DK: Hey, Luigi! Check out.....Luigi??
Yoshi: Where's Toad?
DK: And Peach?
Yoshi: Um...maybe we should just go wait back by the bus?...
DK: Sounds good to me.
Yoshi: Let's go!
*They stand still*
DK: Err...which way is the bus?
Yoshi: I dunno...should we just wait here??
DK: Maybe they expect us to keep going, but what if we go, and they come back and
we're not here??
Yoshi: What if we go look for them?
DK: Let's go!
Yoshi: Wait a minute. What if they had the exact same conversation we just had? What
if they're looking for US now?!
DK: That would be very, very bad. I know my way. But they don't. And I don't know
where in this jungle they might be.
Yoshi: It looks like there's a gap in the trees here. Maybe this is where they went?
DK: Let's go!
*They leave*
*Unfortunately, they are going in exact opposite directions*
*In Bowser's Castle*
Chef Torte: There eez ze stairs! Let's go!
*They go quickly down the stairs*
Mario: OK, now we're in the Main Tower. Right now, we're on the fourth floor. We've
got to get to the sixth floor, because there is a stairway there that will take us to
the first floor. Then we can get out.
Chef Torte: How do you know zees much about ze castle?!
Mario: Trust me, I've been here more times than I can count, saving Peach and doing all
of that. So I really do know where we're going.
Chef Torte: Why go to ze sixth floor to geet to ze first floor, vhen we could just go
straight to ze first floor??
Mario: You wanna try those stairs and see how far they go?
Chef Torte: *Stands up defiantly* Yes. I do! *Walks to the stairs, and goes down five
when suddenly starts teetering wildly back and forth. He is on the last stair
directly above a long, black, empty shaft* Whoa...whoa!!
*Mario rushes over and yanks Torte back into the hallway*
Mario: Get the idea?
Chef Torte: Yes...yes, actually I do.
Mario: So let's go up the stairs instead.
*Mario and Torte reach the fifth floor. They now face a long, narrow passageway over a deep, dark chasm*
Chef Torte: I do not vant to cross here...
Mario: Well, we can't do it anywhere else. Let's go! C'mon, you go first.
Chef Torte: *Takes four steps out on the passage* AAHH...AAAHHHH! *Teeters back
and forth. Takes six more steps* No! I cannot do zees!! *Stops dead*
Mario: Keep going!!
Chef Torte: *Walks slowly* No, no, no!! I'm going to die!!! *Reaches the other side*
I'm going to die!!! I'm going to...Err...
Mario: *Goes across* Let's go!!
*They enter the next room*
Chef Torte: Come on!
Goomba: Not so fast.
Mario: *Snorts with laughter* You're outnumbered!
*Suddenly, fourteen Goombas drop from the celing*
Goomba: I don't think so.
*All Goombas simultaneously pull out Bob-ombs from behind their backs and toss them at Mario and Torte*
Mario: Oooohhhh boy...
Chef Torte: I vill take care of zees slime!
*Torte takes out his throwing knives, twirls them in his hands, and tosses them, each with perfect aim, at the Bob-ombs, causing them to explode when struck*
Chef Torte: Gya ha ha!!
*Suddenly, Torte runs out of knives. He takes out his beloved spatula and whacks the last Bob-omb back at the Goombas. It lands in a large group of them, and the Bob-omb explodes, disintegrating all but one*
Goomba: YAAAHHH!!!! *Runs away*
Mario: Very, very good...
Chef Torte: Thank you, thank you. On to floor six!
*They climb the stairs*
*Meanwhile, in the jungle*
DK: Yoshi, we're going in circles. I have a feeling the others are too. Let's just wait
here for them to catch up with us!
Yoshi: But what if they do the same?
DK: Yoshi, we can't start second-guessing them. Let's just wait and see what happens.
Yoshi: All right, all right...
*On the other side of the jungle*
Toad: Well, we've come full circle.
Luigi: I say we go around again, one more time.
Toad: I'm exhausted!
Peach: Me too...
Luigi: But what if they're right nearby?
Toad: They're not.
Luigi: You don't know that!
Peach: Yes, we do.
Luigi: Well, let's go anyway.
Toad: Man, I thought YOU were the one who didn't want to go!
Peach: He's right, you know. We're only wasting time.
Luigi: Let's get going.
Toad: Oh, all right.
*Not a moment later...*
Luigi: Look! I see them! DK!!! YOSHI!!! OVER HERE!!!
*And the group rejoins, and DK leads them out*
Yoshi: Finally, out of that place...
DK: I rather liked it!
Luigi: Ugh...
Yoshi: HEY! What happened to all my bananas!
DK: Burp...err, what bananas??
Yoshi: Hmm...I wonder where they went...
Luigi: Uh, guys?
Everyone: Yeah?
Luigi: Are you hot?
Everyone: Yes...
Luigi: Well then, you're not gonna like this...
*Ahead of them is a long, long desert with a straight rocky road running down the middle, straight up to the jagged mountains that surround Bowser's Castle*
DK: Oh, geez...
Peach: This is bad...
Toad: Very bad...
Yoshi: Hey! Look overhead!!
*The Nimbus Land Bus soars overhead, led by Lakitu*
Lakitu: Hey, you guys! I thought I might drop by and give you a hand! Guess what
I'VE got?!
Peach: Hey! You brought our karts!!!
Toad: We're saved!
Lakitu: Thank you, thank you. Now, I thought I might make a little bit of a game out of
this. I've set up a race course on the desert. The first to reach the mountains
wins the race! Everyone get set up!
*The group gets in their karts and drive to the starting line*
Lakitu: On your marks...get set...GO!!!
*The group stamps on the gas, leaving a cloud of dust on Lakitu as they streak into the distance. Lakitu clears his throat and wipes the dirt from his eyes*
Lakitu: Bus driver!
Bus Driver: Yes?
Lakitu: Please take me over to the finish line!
Bus Driver: Sure thing! Hop in!
*The bus soars into the clouds*
Yoshi: Hey, Toad! Tell me something – is the road straight or crooked?
Toad: Straight.
Yoshi: Am I in front of you or behind you?
Toad: Behind me.
Yoshi: So, Toad, tell me...do you think a red shell would be fairly difficult to avoid on a
road like this?
Toad: Err, yes...
Yoshi: Would you like to test that out?
Toad: Um...no!
Yoshi: Well, I would! *Tosses a red shell at Toad*
Toad: GYAAAHHHH!! *Goes tumbling off the road*
Yoshi: HA HA HA HA huh?!
*Two green shells streak toward Yoshi and slam into his kart, shooting him off the track*
Luigi: Yes! I'm winning! I'm winning! I'm...DEAD!! AAHHH!!!
*Luigi has run into a banana and spun out, while Peach streaks directly for him*
Peach: AAAAAHHHH!! *Slams into Luigi and both tumble off track*
*The places are currently, from first to last, DK, Yoshi, Luigi, Toad, Peach*
Luigi: Here I come!
Yoshi: And there I go! *Throws a triple mushroom in the hole and presses the button*
Luigi: Darn... *Grabs the next item box*
Luigi: Ooohhhh...I got a LIGHTNING...
Peach: Did I hear you say you got a LIGHTNING? May I have it??
Luigi: No!
Peach: You must give it to me, or I will take it!
Luigi: No way!!
Peach: Have it your way! *Throws three red shells at him*
Luigi: GAAAHHHH!!!!
*The lightning flies into the air, and Peach catches it*
Peach: Ha ha ha hah!!!
*Peach drops the lightning in the item hole and is just about to use it when Boo steals it*
Peach: NO!!!!
Toad: The lightning belongs to ME!!! *Looks back and snickers at Peach, and runs into
a cactus. The lightning flies into the air, and lands in Yoshi's kart as it drives by*
Yoshi: Oh, YEAH!! *Throws it to the item hole on the kart, but misses, and it falls on
the road* NO!!!!
*Toad's kart drives over the lightning and it explodes, sending electricity all over Toad's kart and Toad himself*
Toad: OW! OW! AAHHH!!!! *Drives off-track*
*Lakitu rushes in to save him. He puts him back on the track and returns to the finish line, just in time to see DK flash by. The final race results are, from first to last, DK, Luigi, Yoshi, Toad, Peach*
DK: Yeah! Oh yeah! I win! I win! *DK jumps on his kart and does a little sort-of
victory dance while the others stare in horror*
Yoshi: Um, that was wonderful, DK. Now how do we get up these mountains???
Peach: Err...I'm not really sure...
Lakitu: I can give you a lift! *Lakitu is once again leading the bus through the air*
DK: The bus! We're saved again!!
Bus Driver: Come on! I'll take you up these mountains! No problem.
Everyone: Great!
*In the castle*
Mario: Well, here we are! Floor number six...
Chef Torte: Eet eez all dark...
Mario: Yeah...we're gonna have to be careful...by the way, don't touch anything except
the floor. I'll bet they've got alarm systems strung all through those walls.
Chef Torte: You're probably right...WHOA Mario! Look out! You almost walked eento
a giant Para-Koopa! Eet's asleep right now...
Mario: Whoa! Thanks!
*The two slowly creep around the giant Para-Koopa and his wings and head for the ladder in the back. The Para-Koopa slowly opens one eye and glares menacingly at Mario*
Mario: OK, this ladder will take us to the stairway which leads to the first floor!!
Chef Torte: Uh...Mario??
Mario: Not right now, I'm trying to figure out how to pull this off.
*The giant Para-Koopa stands up and growls*
Chef Torte: MARIO?!
Mario: WHAT?? I'm trying to figure out...OOOHHHH man...
Giant Para-Koopa: Yous not go nowhere.
Chef Torte: Um...actually we will be going, now...
Giant Para-Koopa: RRRGGGHHHH...
*The Koopa swipes his hand down and grabs Torte. He squeezes him until his eyes start to pop out from his head*
Chef Torte: AAAHH!! AAAHH!! PLEASE, STOP!! MARIO!!! HELP ME!!!!
Mario: I'm on my way!
Giant Para-Koopa: Gwa ha ha hah! GWA HA HA HA HA HAH!!!
Mario: Hey! Tub of Lard!! Down here!
Giant Para-Koopa: Yous not call me names!! *Jumps up, hovers for a moment, and
slams into the ground with such force that the walls begin to crumble
and shake. He then smacks Mario across the room with his fist*
Mario: ...Ungh...
Chef Torte: Now, eet eez time for you to DIE!! *Takes out a giant cleaver and begins
hacking away at the Para-Koopa's arm*
Giant Para-Koopa: GYARRRGGGHHH!!! *Throws Torte toward the window. The
sixth story window*
Chef Torte: NO!!!!!
*Outside*
Luigi: Thanks for the lift, Bus Driver! Now, I wonder what floor Mario is on?
*Suddenly, Torte comes crashing out the window of floor six*
Peach: Well, THAT answers our question.
DK: I've got him! *Catches him and sets him down*
Chef Torte: Hit the...the red button...on floor seven... *Passes out*
Yoshi: I guess I'll stay here while you guys save Mario, just in case he wakes up.
Luigi: OK.
Peach: "Hit the red button on floor seven?" Hmm...
Luigi: Well, let's go!
*The group goes up the giant stairway to floor seven*
Peach: Well, here we are! That alarm is annoying...
Toad: It must mean Mario has escaped!
Peach: There's the red button!
DK: Come on, let's push it!
*All but Luigi walk to the button. DK is just about to press it when a Goomba throws a Bob-omb into the room. Luigi sees it, but doesn't say anything. The Bob-omb explodes, sending Peach, Yoshi, Toad, and DK flying back against the wall. Only Luigi remains able to move*
Toad: Hit...hit...the button...
DK: Yeah, c'mon!...Just...just push it!...
Luigi: NO.
Peach: What?!
Luigi: I said NO, and I mean NO.
Toad: B-but...but why? It's what...what we were trying to...to do.
Luigi: I can't.
*Wario watches through a spy camera*
Wario: My plan is going PERFECTLY. Luigi didn't do what I said, but it'll still work!
*In the sixth floor*
Mario: ...Ungh...
Giant Para-Koopa: Yous gonna now is die!
Mario: NO!...
Giant Para-Koopa: Hyuh hyuh hyuh. *Raises a fist to crush Mario*
DK: Luigi, push the stupid button!!!
Luigi: NO!!!! I would, but I can't!! I'm stuck!!! Maybe I can just reach it...
Peach: Luigi, NO!!
*Luigi accidentally slips and presses the green button. The red button would have shot a laser at the Para-Koopa and killed it. But the GREEN button only enhances its cell structure and makes it larger. Its body is saturated green and instantly begins to grow.*
*Suddenly, the Para-Koopa's head pokes through the seventh floor, directly under DK*
DK: Whooaaaaaa!!!!
*DK and the head rise and smash through the eighth floor. Now the shell rises through the seventh floor, with a battered Mario hanging on*
*DK crashes through the ninth floor, while Mario busts through the eighth. Suddenly, it all stops. The Koopa is as tall as the castle itself*
Gigantic Para-Koopa: DUH HUH HUH HUH!!!
Peach: Oooohhhhhhh boy...
*The Para-Koopa snatches Mario from his shell and throws him over 250 feet in the air*
*Mario streaks toward the ground at an unimaginable speed*
Mario: AAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!
Peach: NO!!! NO!!! MARIO!!!!!
*And suddenly, everything goes bvack*
TO BE CONTINUED...
Section!*
KART CHAMPIONS
EPISODE III
"THE DISAPPEARANCE"
*FEATURING CHEF TORTE FROM SUPER MARIO RPG*
*Mario reaches in and takes the lasagna out of the microwave and is just about to take a bite... and then he suddenly sits up. There is a knock at the door. Someone snickers on the other side. There is the sound of something heavy being dragged on the other side. The person knocks again...exactly like his dream*
Mario: *Freezes in place* No... NO... NO...!!
*The doorknob slowly turns...*
Mario: NO!!!
*The door begins to open...slowly, slowly...*
Mario: NO!!!! AAAHHHH!!!!!!
*Several minutes earlier, at Peach's*
Peach: Is it ready, Yoshi?
Yoshi: Uh, yeah! Here, let's put it on the cart.
*Peach has asked the cook at the resort, Chef Torte, to bake a giant cake for Mario*
Peach: I've got this end... Ungh... Why is this cake so heavy?! This should be really
easy to carry! It's just a cake!! *Holds one side, as Yoshi holds the other*
*They slowly lower it onto the little cart. It is perfect, down to the last frosting bow*
Yoshi: Yeah, that is pretty weird... Let's bring this to Mario's. Oh, this'll be great!
*The two wheel the heavy cart down the hallway to Mario's room*
Yoshi: All right, we're here.
Peach: How're we gonna get it through?
Yoshi: I dunno, I guess that's Mario's problem... *Knocks on the door*
Peach: *Giggles – Is really excited* Hey, Yoshi. Help me with this...
*They drag the heavy cart right up to the door*
Yoshi: *Knocks again* Where is he?
Peach: Let's try the door, maybe he's inside... *Begins to open the door*
*Suddenly there is the sound of something jerking quickly and someone yelling:*
Mario: No... NO... NO...!!
Peach: What was that all about? Mario? Is that you? *Pushes the door open*
Mario: NO!!!
Yoshi: Um, Mario? What's going on??
Mario: NO!!!! AAAHHHH!!!!!!
*Peach looks in. Mario is on the floor, his chair toppled backwards. He is wild-eyed, panting, and sweating. He is staring frantically at Peach, Yoshi, and the cake. Bits of lasagna are on the floor and around on his face*
Peach: *Looks in horror* Mario!! Are you all right??? *Rushes in and helps him up*
Mario: Ungh... *Passes out*
Yoshi: Oh, MAN! I wonder what happened to him...
Peach: I don't know, but let's put him on his bed...
*They leave the cake on the floor in Mario's room and lay Mario on his bed. They figure a good-night's rest should cure whatever problem he had...*
*Meanwhile, in the resort kitchen...*
Bowser: Did you do it?? Did you put him in?!
Chef Torte: *Looks guilty, and says in his accent:* Vell, yes...
Bowser: Perfect! Mario will never know!! It's time to get him BACK for what he did to
me!!! Oh, excellent! *Rushes away* Lakitu said I HAD to give Luigi back,
but no one ever said I couldn't trade him for Mario!! The only one who saves
people around here is Mario. But if I have HIM, no one can save him!!! Bwa
ha ha hah!!
Chef Torte: Vat have I done?! Oh no! I must tell Mario about zees!
*But it is too late...*
*At Mario's room – it's midnight*
Chef Torte's Apprentice: *Jumps out of cake, drags Luigi with him* Okay...zere eez
Mario... *Throws Luigi on other bed, grabs Mario, opens the
door, and runs outside the resort. Bowser's airship is waiting*
*Torte's Apprentice opens the door to the airship and runs inside. Chef Torte, and all of the Bowser's Koopa army are inside*
Bowser: BWA HA HA HA HAH!!! NO ONE TO SAVE YOU NOW, MARIO!!!
Torte!! I have something for you to do!! *Whispers something in Torte's ear*
Chef Torte: Yes, okay... *Looks at Mario* ...But zees eez not part of ze deal!!
Bowser: As long as I've got THIS... *Takes something out and Torte backs away in
horror* ...I CAN CHANGE THE DEAL IF I WANT!!! BWA HA HAH!!!
Chef Torte: Okay...okay...I...I...will do zees...
Bowser: See that you do. Iggy! Morton! Get them out of my sight!!
*Bowser leaps out of the airship, and it pulls away into the darkness*
Bowser: There is not one person in this resort who knows about my plot but me!! Torte,
his apprentice, and Mario are all on the airship! And when Wario returns,
everyone will think HE did it!!! Mario, it's time to PAY for what you did to
me!!!! If I hold you until the grand prix is over, guess what Mario?! I WIN.
*Bowser fades into the darkness*
*The hours pass...*
*...And dawn arrives!*
*Luigi, used to getting up early, always wakes at dawn. However, because of his ordeal the previous day, he doesn't wake up at his normal time. In fact, he is still asleep at 8:00. 9:00. Still asleep. 10:00...11:00...will he ever wake up? 12:00...1:00...suddenly, Luigi sits up*
Luigi: Oh geez! This is BAD!! I've slept WAY too long!! I wonder what time it is?!
*Looks at his watch. His eyes go wide as he looks in horror. All his life, he has
been prompt, on time. Never late* AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!
*Faints*
*Unfortunately for Luigi, he didn't wake up until 7:30 at night, because he fainted*
*At 7:30, Luigi looks at his watch*
Luigi: AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!! *Stands up immediately and
runs out the door of his room*
Peach: *Opens the door to her room* What's going on?!
*Luigi runs down the hall, screaming in terror. He runs outside, but hears Peach calling and looks behind him. He turns back around and runs directly into a tree. He is knocked unconcious*
Peach: Hmm...oh well! Wonder who that was... *Shuts the door...opens it again as she
gets an idea. Walks to Toad's room* Hey, Toad!
Toad: *Rushes to the door* Yes, your highness?
Peach: Could you see if you could find Mario and Luigi for me? They've been gone all
day...it would be really great if you could do that.
Toad: Of course, your majesty. *Begins to walk away*
Peach: *Spins Toad around to face her* I thought I told you to stop calling me that!
Toad: Yes, your maj...err...yes, ma'am... *Begins to walk away*
Peach: *Spins Toad around again* And don't fall in that pit again!
Toad: Of course, your highness. *Begins to walk away*
Peach: *Spins Toad around again* Go on! What's taking so long? Hurry up!
Toad: Err...yes, your majesty. *Runs quickly, barely avoids Peach*
Peach: Hmph... *Turns around and starts to walk away...suddenly, there is a tug on her
dress. She turns around*
Toad: Sorry, m'lady. I can't find them.
Peach: How did you look for them so fast?
Toad: Well, I went outside, I looked to the left, I stepped with my left foot, I stepped
with my right foot, I stepped with my left foot, I stepped with my right foot, I
tripped over a rock, I looked to my right, I got up, I looked behind a bush, I
stepped with my left foot, I stepped with my...
Peach: Enough with the commentary! I mean how did you do it so fast?!
Toad: Well, Luigi was right there in front of me, but...
Peach: What?! You told me you COULDN'T FIND THEM!!
Toad: Well, see ma'am, you asked me to find Mario AND Luigi, and I only found Luigi
out there, so you see...
Peach: I DON'T CARE!!!
Toad: Please calm down, your majesty.
Peach: Was Mario there? Or was it only Luigi?!
Toad: No, I'm sorry, it was only Luigi...
Peach: Well then, bring HIM in here!!
Toad: Yes, m'lady. *Speeds off*
Peach: Hmph... *Turns around and starts to walk away...suddenly, there is a tug on her
dress. She turns around* WHAT?!
Toad: I...err...he's no longer there, your majesty.
Peach: OK, Toad. Here's a little piece of advice. How about you DON'T tell me when
there is a change of plans??
Toad: Err...yes, your highness. Shall I go look some more?
Peach: *Waves her hand in defeat* You go ahead and do that, Toad. *Goes in her
room, shuts the door, falls on her bed, and instantly falls asleep*
*It is about 1:00 in the morning. Toad is still searching*
Toad: Hmm...not over there...WHAT THE...?!
*Bowser's airship swoops overhead. Toad ducks down behind a clump of bushes to see*
*The airship slowly lands, the propellors slowing, and once again all is silent*
*Bowser steps out – his gleaming eyes sweeping the darkness. Toad whimpers, cowering in fear. Suddenly, Bowser's eyes seem to lock onto the bushes in which Toad is hiding. He squints, looking directly at Toad, but not quite seeing him. Bowser calls Ludwig out of the airship and whispers something in his ear. And points, directly at Toad's hiding spot. Ludwig nods, and puts on his best evil grimace. He begins to walk toward Toad, growling and sniffing the air*
Toad: *Eyes go wide in horror* Oh no...
*Meanwhile, inside, Peach is having a nightmare*
Peach: No...NO! Mario, stop!...Stop...!...Don't do this...NO!!!
*Her own voice wakes her up. She had been having the same dream for a week: She is captured by Bowser, and Mario sacrifices his life to save her*
Peach: *Sighs, gets up to get a drink of water* Mario...
*A beam of light from the airship shines through the window. Had Peach not have stood up to get a drink, she might not have noticed*
Peach: What's that?? I'd better go have a look.
*On Koopa Troopa Island*
Wario: That idiot LIED TO ME!!! There wasn't a ferry! There wasn't a FERRY!!
Okay, that's it. I'm gonna swim!! *Dives into the water* Ah! Ahh! It's cold!
FREEZING!! *Leaps back to shore* NO!!!! I'm gonna GET YOU, MARIO!!!
*Wario grabs a boat that is currently being used by a Koopa for fishing. Wario throws the man out and begins to row back to the resort*
*At the resort, Ludwig is standing directly over the bush*
Ludwig: Nya ha ha hah! *Breathes in deeply, raises his head, rears up, and blows a
stream of fire directly into the bush*
Bowser: HA HA HA HAH!!!
*The bush slowly turns to a blackened, charred, mess*
Ludwig: NYA HA HA...HUH?!
*Toad is nowhere to be seen*
Bowser: Hmm...guess there wasn't anyone...Ludwig! Look around some more...
Ludwig: Yes, sir! Right on it, sir!
*Ludwig begins stomping through the bushes in the back of the resort. Toad is hiding under the bridge to the Eastern Woods. Unfortunately, Ludwig is headed directly to that area now*
Ludwig: Hmm... *Looks at the bridge*
Toad: Yikes...! *Drops into the river and swims downstream. Gets off at the beach and
runs for his life*
Ludwig: HEY, YOU!! COME BACK HERE!!! NO!!!! *Throws a stream of fire into
the foggy air*
Bowser: There's the signal! He's found him!!
Iggy: Should we fly over there sir?
Bowser: Of course, numbskull! Get going!!
*Bowser's airship swoops toward Ludwig and quickly lands*
Bowser: Where?! Where is he?!
Ludwig: I've lost him...
Bowser: Well?! Where'd he go??
Ludwig: *Points downstream* That way.
Bowser: Well? Let's catch him! If word gets out about this, everything will be ruined!!!
Wendy: Ready for takeoff!
*The airship slowly rises into the night sky*
*The hours pass...a sweating, shivering Toad has found refuge on a big stone slab under the dock and has somehow fallen asleep*
*Dawn comes, and Toad awakes, staring directly into Wario's face*
Toad: GYYAAAHHH!!!! *Leaps up and streaks away*
Wario: GWA HA HA HAH!!! Mario had better watch his STEP!! *Barges into the
distance, toward the resort lobby*
Peach: *Watching through the bushes* Good thing that light woke me up! I might have
missed this...I'd better warn Mario...if I can ever find him...or Toad...or Luigi...
*Walks away*
*And what has become of Luigi?*
*Luigi had gotten up between "Toad checks" and run behind the building. There, he fell into a dark hole that he probably wouldn't even have noticed if it were daytime. He landed in a dark, secret room. When he flipped the lights, all he saw was a shelf filled with stuffed cat toys. A real cat was in a cage in the bottom, currently asleep. During that time, Luigi had said:*
Luigi: Cats...CATS...! I'm allergic to csts!!! Ah, AH, AH-CHOO!!!
*His hand had flown up during his sneeze and had flipped the light switch. In the dark, he stumbled into the shelf of stuffed cats and broke it. Stuffed cats went flying everywhere, the broken shelf fell on his head, and he was...you guessed it, knocked out*
*Every so often Bowser or one of his cronies would show up, and grab a stuffed cat, and leave. Fortunately, since Luigi was buried in the cats, Bowser didn't notice. That is where he is currently*
*And what has Mario gotten himself into?*
*Mario is currently hanging on a dirty, stone wall, his hands chained to the bricks. He is dirty, hungry, and in severe pain. Whenever he moves his hands, the shackles only cut into his wrists even more. Let's see how he's doing right now*
Mario: Aahh!...Ungh...
*And that's about it...Mario looks at the Koopa guard*
Mario: Please! Please take these things off...! Let me out of here!!
Koopa: heh heh heh heh. Master Bowser says this's just what ya deserve.
Mario: At least tell me where I am!
Koopa: You're in Bowser's Castle. And you ain't leavin' till he deals with ya.
Mario: Bowser's Castle?! What about the resort?!
Koopa: Oh, you ain't goin' back there fer a long time...so yeh'd best make do with
watcha got, eh? Heh heh heh.
*Mario thinks..."Hmm, there's gotta be a way to get him down here..." He then gets an idea, and decides he's going to try to pull it off. He clutches his stomach and groans in pain...the Koopa looks at him in curiosity*
Mario: Ooohhhh...Unngghhh...
Koopa: Hey, you! What's goin' on down there?!
Mario: The pain, the pain...
Koopa: What? *Jumps down to Mario's cell* What pain?
Mario: YOURS! *Slams his feet into the Koopa's chest and the Koopa falls down,
knocked out*
*Mario pulls him up with his feet and grabs the key from the Koopa's pocket. He then undoes the shackles. He jumps out, puts the Koopa in the shackles, and locks them. He drops the key in his pocket, and runs*
*As Mario is running by, Chef Torte yells from one of the other cells:*
Chef Torte: Help!! Geet me out of zees!!!
*Mario stops, and undoes the shackles holding Torte*
Chef Torte: Thank you, Mario! Vat have I done?! Zees eez all my fault!
Mario: That's fine. Let's get out of here!
Chef Torte: Okay, but you must save my apprentice, too! He eez next door!
Mario: Okay, sure. *Undoes the shackles*
Chef Torte's Apprentice: NOW EET EEZ TIME FOR YOU TO DIE!!
Chef Torte: Vat are you talking about?!
Chef Torte's Apprentice: You should have sided wees Meester Bowsehr when you had
ze chance! But now eet eez too late for you! *Runs down the
hall* Meester Bowsehr!! Meester Bowsehr!!!
Chef Torte: Vat a shame. I shall never hire heem again!
Mario: Well, we're in trouble now, so let's go as fast as we can!
Chef Torte: Yes!! We must save my cat!!
Mario: ???
*Meanwhile, Luigi has just gotten up. He has brushed off all the stuffed cats and found the ladder out of the room. He finds his way to the front of the resort. It is now 7:00*
Luigi: Yes! It's still morning! I'm finally early...I think I'll go talk to Peach.
*Luigi walks to Peach's room and hears Toad attempting to say something rapidly through chattering teeth to Peach*
Toad: A-and..B–B-Bowser tried t–to kill me...
Peach: Toad! You're sure you're all right?
Toad: Y-yes, your m-majesty.
Peach: Please don't call me that! But why didn't you come in and tell me instead of
hiding at the beach?
Toad: B-because y-y-you ordered m-me not to t-t-tell you if there was a change of p-p-
plans...and so I...j-j-just thought that you wouldn't w-want t-t- to hear...
Peach: Toad! You didn't have to do that! I'm not your overlord or something, you
know. If there's something really important, you don't have to strictly obey my
every order...
Toad: R-r-really??
Peach: Really.
Toad: Wow!
Peach: Oh, Luigi! THERE you are! Toad was looking for you all night! Would you
happen to know where Mario is??
Luigi: Well, no, but there's something you've gotta hear about!
*Luigi tells her about the Bowser's strange, secret stuffed-cat room*
Peach: Ooookaayyy, that's a little weird, but then again, what about Bowser isn't?
*Peach's eyes narrow as she suddenly remembers something* Luigi, when you
woke up in your room, did you happen to notice if Mario was there??
Luigi: No...
Peach: Too bad, I wish you'd seen...
Luigi: No! I mean "no" as in "no, he wasn't there."
Peach: Ah! Well, that clears something up. I'm willing to bet that Bowser did
something to that cake we left in Mario's room. THAT was why it was so heavy.
He just traded Mario for you!
Toad: *Gasps*
Luigi: How much??
Peach: What???
Luigi: How much would you be willing to bet?
Peach: Oh, shut up. ANYWAY, we've got to rescue him!
Toad: But we don't even know where he is!
Peach: Let's check his room...we might find some clues there!
*They go to Mario's room and enter. The chair is still backwards on the floor with the rotten plate of lasagna on top of it. The cake is still there on the floor, with the top busted open*
Luigi: *Points excitedly* Peach! Peach! Look!
Peach: Geez, I see it, I see it!!
Luigi: I win the bet!
Toad: Huh?!
Peach: What bet?
Luigi: Forget it...
Peach: Anyway, that's probably how they got Mario. Bowser must've hid someone in
the cake, and when Mario was asleep, they just grabbed him and ran...
Toad: You know what? I'll bet Bowser took him to his castle. That's the only other
place besides the resort that he really could have gone. And no, Luigi, I'm not
ACTUALLY betting anything.
Luigi: Aww, well then I WILL! I'll bet 5 coins that they took him to Bowser's Castle!
Peach: Luigi, shut up. Toad, you're probably right. But what can we do about it?
Toad: We'll have to get everyone to come with us, but then we can head over there and
storm the castle! We'll FORCE Bowser to give him back!
Luigi: Oh, THAT should be interesting...I've got a better idea...let's give Bowser
whatever ransom he's demanding so he'll GIVE Mario back?!
Peach: Luigi, you're driving me NUTS!
Luigi: Okay, okay, whatever...
Toad: Let's go get Yoshi and DK! It's OFF TO BOWSER'S CASTLE!!!
*Wario is listening through the door and hears everything*
Wario: Hmm...Peach and Toad, they're all for this idea, but if I could convince Luigi...
*Wario stalks away*
Peach: Toad, c'mon! Let's go get them!
Toad: Yeah! We'll be right back, Luigi.
Luigi: OK!
*Peach and Toad leave. Minutes later, Wario shows up*
Wario: Hey, it's Luigi, my good friend! *Gives a big fake smile*
Luigi: GYAAAHHHH!!! *Starts to run*
Wario: *Grabs his shirt* And since you're my GOOD FRIEND, I'm sure you wouldn't
mind DOING a few things for me!!
Luigi: I...um...no, Wario...er...of course not. Would you mind letting go of my shirt?!
Wario: Very NICE of you! Now here's what you've gotta do...
*In Bowser's Castle*
Mario: Torte, hurry! We've gotta get outta here before your friend tells Bowser!!
Chef Torte: He eez not my friend. He vanted cooking experience, but I didn't know...
Mario: Yes, well...
*Suddenly, a loud alarm and red blinking lights fill the hallway*
Mario: Ooohhhh geez, we've gotta get out of here NOW!!!
Chef Torte: Let's go!!
*Three Goomba guards come rushing around the corner. They all focus on Mario*
Goomba: Hold it right there!
Mario: Hold what? THIS? *Takes a mallet out of his pocket and smashes one of them*
*The Goomba is knocked out. Mario begins wrestling with the second. The third, unnoticed, advances slowly forward*
Mario: Take this!! *Slugs the one he was wrestling with, knocks it out* Well, I guess
that's all of...AAAHHH!!
*The third Goomba pounces toward Mario, its teeth flashing. Suddenly, a spatula appears and smacks the Goomba into oblivion*
Mario: ...Wha... *Turns around to face a panting Torte, who is holding a spatula in his
left hand*
Chef Torte: I always knew eet would come een handy someday!...
Mario: Thanks! Let's go!!
*Back at the resort*
Toad: Let's go! Here comes the bus!
*They have called the Nimbus Land Bus to help them to Bowser's Castle*
Bus Driver: Hello, folks! Hey, it's the dude in the green hat again! I remember you!
Here, why doncha pick a movie?!
Luigi: Err, no thanks...
*The bus lifts off and Luigi actually manages not to look out the side once*
*The group is about three-quarters of the way there when the bus has a problem. The bus, every few seconds, gives a violent shake*
Bus Driver: Sorry, folks, just a little bit 'o turbulence, we should be there in no time!
*But the bus continues to shake. Finally, it begins to lose speed, and drop slowly*
Bus Driver: Uh oh! Well, we're comin' down for an emergency landing!
Luigi: AAAHHHHH!!!!!
Peach: We're only dropping at, like, a foot every second or so Luigi...
Luigi: AAAHHHHH!!!!!
Peach: Whatever...
Toad: Luigi, we're coming down on some trees, anyway...
Luigi: AAAHHHHH!!!!!
DK: Geez, at least it's not a desert! And I know my way all around THIS jungle!
Toad: Really? Hey, that's great!
Luigi: AAAHHHHH!!!!!
Yoshi: Luigi, shut up! Ooohhh, bananas!!
DK: *Goes bug-eyed* BANANAS?!
Yoshi: *Lashes out with his long tongue and grabs a banana* Mmmm...
DK: BANANAS?!
Luigi: AAAHHHHH!!!!!
Bus Driver: All right! We're down! Do you guys need a map or somethin' to get out of
the jungle? I've got one here...
DK: Nah. I can make it outta THIS place with my eyes closed!
Bus Driver: OK. Now, as for YOU... *Begins to work on the bus*
Luigi: AAAHHHHH!!!!!
Yoshi: Luigi, we're down already!!
Luigi: Eh? Oh...
*They walk into the trees*
DK: BANANAS?! *Runs off into the jungle*
Yoshi: Wait for me!!
*Silence for minutes*
Toad: Eh...um...Luigi? Do you know your way outta here?
Luigi: Err...no, what about you, Peach?
Peach: Nope...um...maybe we should just go wait back by the bus?...
Toad: Sounds good to me.
Luigi: Let's go!
*Everyone stands still*
Peach: Err...which way is the bus?
Toad: I dunno...
Luigi: Should we just wait here??
Peach: What if they expect us to keep going?
Toad: But what if we go, and they come back and we're not here?
Luigi: What if we go look for them?
Peach: Does that sound good to you?
Toad: Sure. Let's go! *They leave*
*Only seconds later, DK and Yoshi show up, their arms full of bananas*
DK: Hey, Luigi! Check out.....Luigi??
Yoshi: Where's Toad?
DK: And Peach?
Yoshi: Um...maybe we should just go wait back by the bus?...
DK: Sounds good to me.
Yoshi: Let's go!
*They stand still*
DK: Err...which way is the bus?
Yoshi: I dunno...should we just wait here??
DK: Maybe they expect us to keep going, but what if we go, and they come back and
we're not here??
Yoshi: What if we go look for them?
DK: Let's go!
Yoshi: Wait a minute. What if they had the exact same conversation we just had? What
if they're looking for US now?!
DK: That would be very, very bad. I know my way. But they don't. And I don't know
where in this jungle they might be.
Yoshi: It looks like there's a gap in the trees here. Maybe this is where they went?
DK: Let's go!
*They leave*
*Unfortunately, they are going in exact opposite directions*
*In Bowser's Castle*
Chef Torte: There eez ze stairs! Let's go!
*They go quickly down the stairs*
Mario: OK, now we're in the Main Tower. Right now, we're on the fourth floor. We've
got to get to the sixth floor, because there is a stairway there that will take us to
the first floor. Then we can get out.
Chef Torte: How do you know zees much about ze castle?!
Mario: Trust me, I've been here more times than I can count, saving Peach and doing all
of that. So I really do know where we're going.
Chef Torte: Why go to ze sixth floor to geet to ze first floor, vhen we could just go
straight to ze first floor??
Mario: You wanna try those stairs and see how far they go?
Chef Torte: *Stands up defiantly* Yes. I do! *Walks to the stairs, and goes down five
when suddenly starts teetering wildly back and forth. He is on the last stair
directly above a long, black, empty shaft* Whoa...whoa!!
*Mario rushes over and yanks Torte back into the hallway*
Mario: Get the idea?
Chef Torte: Yes...yes, actually I do.
Mario: So let's go up the stairs instead.
*Mario and Torte reach the fifth floor. They now face a long, narrow passageway over a deep, dark chasm*
Chef Torte: I do not vant to cross here...
Mario: Well, we can't do it anywhere else. Let's go! C'mon, you go first.
Chef Torte: *Takes four steps out on the passage* AAHH...AAAHHHH! *Teeters back
and forth. Takes six more steps* No! I cannot do zees!! *Stops dead*
Mario: Keep going!!
Chef Torte: *Walks slowly* No, no, no!! I'm going to die!!! *Reaches the other side*
I'm going to die!!! I'm going to...Err...
Mario: *Goes across* Let's go!!
*They enter the next room*
Chef Torte: Come on!
Goomba: Not so fast.
Mario: *Snorts with laughter* You're outnumbered!
*Suddenly, fourteen Goombas drop from the celing*
Goomba: I don't think so.
*All Goombas simultaneously pull out Bob-ombs from behind their backs and toss them at Mario and Torte*
Mario: Oooohhhh boy...
Chef Torte: I vill take care of zees slime!
*Torte takes out his throwing knives, twirls them in his hands, and tosses them, each with perfect aim, at the Bob-ombs, causing them to explode when struck*
Chef Torte: Gya ha ha!!
*Suddenly, Torte runs out of knives. He takes out his beloved spatula and whacks the last Bob-omb back at the Goombas. It lands in a large group of them, and the Bob-omb explodes, disintegrating all but one*
Goomba: YAAAHHH!!!! *Runs away*
Mario: Very, very good...
Chef Torte: Thank you, thank you. On to floor six!
*They climb the stairs*
*Meanwhile, in the jungle*
DK: Yoshi, we're going in circles. I have a feeling the others are too. Let's just wait
here for them to catch up with us!
Yoshi: But what if they do the same?
DK: Yoshi, we can't start second-guessing them. Let's just wait and see what happens.
Yoshi: All right, all right...
*On the other side of the jungle*
Toad: Well, we've come full circle.
Luigi: I say we go around again, one more time.
Toad: I'm exhausted!
Peach: Me too...
Luigi: But what if they're right nearby?
Toad: They're not.
Luigi: You don't know that!
Peach: Yes, we do.
Luigi: Well, let's go anyway.
Toad: Man, I thought YOU were the one who didn't want to go!
Peach: He's right, you know. We're only wasting time.
Luigi: Let's get going.
Toad: Oh, all right.
*Not a moment later...*
Luigi: Look! I see them! DK!!! YOSHI!!! OVER HERE!!!
*And the group rejoins, and DK leads them out*
Yoshi: Finally, out of that place...
DK: I rather liked it!
Luigi: Ugh...
Yoshi: HEY! What happened to all my bananas!
DK: Burp...err, what bananas??
Yoshi: Hmm...I wonder where they went...
Luigi: Uh, guys?
Everyone: Yeah?
Luigi: Are you hot?
Everyone: Yes...
Luigi: Well then, you're not gonna like this...
*Ahead of them is a long, long desert with a straight rocky road running down the middle, straight up to the jagged mountains that surround Bowser's Castle*
DK: Oh, geez...
Peach: This is bad...
Toad: Very bad...
Yoshi: Hey! Look overhead!!
*The Nimbus Land Bus soars overhead, led by Lakitu*
Lakitu: Hey, you guys! I thought I might drop by and give you a hand! Guess what
I'VE got?!
Peach: Hey! You brought our karts!!!
Toad: We're saved!
Lakitu: Thank you, thank you. Now, I thought I might make a little bit of a game out of
this. I've set up a race course on the desert. The first to reach the mountains
wins the race! Everyone get set up!
*The group gets in their karts and drive to the starting line*
Lakitu: On your marks...get set...GO!!!
*The group stamps on the gas, leaving a cloud of dust on Lakitu as they streak into the distance. Lakitu clears his throat and wipes the dirt from his eyes*
Lakitu: Bus driver!
Bus Driver: Yes?
Lakitu: Please take me over to the finish line!
Bus Driver: Sure thing! Hop in!
*The bus soars into the clouds*
Yoshi: Hey, Toad! Tell me something – is the road straight or crooked?
Toad: Straight.
Yoshi: Am I in front of you or behind you?
Toad: Behind me.
Yoshi: So, Toad, tell me...do you think a red shell would be fairly difficult to avoid on a
road like this?
Toad: Err, yes...
Yoshi: Would you like to test that out?
Toad: Um...no!
Yoshi: Well, I would! *Tosses a red shell at Toad*
Toad: GYAAAHHHH!! *Goes tumbling off the road*
Yoshi: HA HA HA HA huh?!
*Two green shells streak toward Yoshi and slam into his kart, shooting him off the track*
Luigi: Yes! I'm winning! I'm winning! I'm...DEAD!! AAHHH!!!
*Luigi has run into a banana and spun out, while Peach streaks directly for him*
Peach: AAAAAHHHH!! *Slams into Luigi and both tumble off track*
*The places are currently, from first to last, DK, Yoshi, Luigi, Toad, Peach*
Luigi: Here I come!
Yoshi: And there I go! *Throws a triple mushroom in the hole and presses the button*
Luigi: Darn... *Grabs the next item box*
Luigi: Ooohhhh...I got a LIGHTNING...
Peach: Did I hear you say you got a LIGHTNING? May I have it??
Luigi: No!
Peach: You must give it to me, or I will take it!
Luigi: No way!!
Peach: Have it your way! *Throws three red shells at him*
Luigi: GAAAHHHH!!!!
*The lightning flies into the air, and Peach catches it*
Peach: Ha ha ha hah!!!
*Peach drops the lightning in the item hole and is just about to use it when Boo steals it*
Peach: NO!!!!
Toad: The lightning belongs to ME!!! *Looks back and snickers at Peach, and runs into
a cactus. The lightning flies into the air, and lands in Yoshi's kart as it drives by*
Yoshi: Oh, YEAH!! *Throws it to the item hole on the kart, but misses, and it falls on
the road* NO!!!!
*Toad's kart drives over the lightning and it explodes, sending electricity all over Toad's kart and Toad himself*
Toad: OW! OW! AAHHH!!!! *Drives off-track*
*Lakitu rushes in to save him. He puts him back on the track and returns to the finish line, just in time to see DK flash by. The final race results are, from first to last, DK, Luigi, Yoshi, Toad, Peach*
DK: Yeah! Oh yeah! I win! I win! *DK jumps on his kart and does a little sort-of
victory dance while the others stare in horror*
Yoshi: Um, that was wonderful, DK. Now how do we get up these mountains???
Peach: Err...I'm not really sure...
Lakitu: I can give you a lift! *Lakitu is once again leading the bus through the air*
DK: The bus! We're saved again!!
Bus Driver: Come on! I'll take you up these mountains! No problem.
Everyone: Great!
*In the castle*
Mario: Well, here we are! Floor number six...
Chef Torte: Eet eez all dark...
Mario: Yeah...we're gonna have to be careful...by the way, don't touch anything except
the floor. I'll bet they've got alarm systems strung all through those walls.
Chef Torte: You're probably right...WHOA Mario! Look out! You almost walked eento
a giant Para-Koopa! Eet's asleep right now...
Mario: Whoa! Thanks!
*The two slowly creep around the giant Para-Koopa and his wings and head for the ladder in the back. The Para-Koopa slowly opens one eye and glares menacingly at Mario*
Mario: OK, this ladder will take us to the stairway which leads to the first floor!!
Chef Torte: Uh...Mario??
Mario: Not right now, I'm trying to figure out how to pull this off.
*The giant Para-Koopa stands up and growls*
Chef Torte: MARIO?!
Mario: WHAT?? I'm trying to figure out...OOOHHHH man...
Giant Para-Koopa: Yous not go nowhere.
Chef Torte: Um...actually we will be going, now...
Giant Para-Koopa: RRRGGGHHHH...
*The Koopa swipes his hand down and grabs Torte. He squeezes him until his eyes start to pop out from his head*
Chef Torte: AAAHH!! AAAHH!! PLEASE, STOP!! MARIO!!! HELP ME!!!!
Mario: I'm on my way!
Giant Para-Koopa: Gwa ha ha hah! GWA HA HA HA HA HAH!!!
Mario: Hey! Tub of Lard!! Down here!
Giant Para-Koopa: Yous not call me names!! *Jumps up, hovers for a moment, and
slams into the ground with such force that the walls begin to crumble
and shake. He then smacks Mario across the room with his fist*
Mario: ...Ungh...
Chef Torte: Now, eet eez time for you to DIE!! *Takes out a giant cleaver and begins
hacking away at the Para-Koopa's arm*
Giant Para-Koopa: GYARRRGGGHHH!!! *Throws Torte toward the window. The
sixth story window*
Chef Torte: NO!!!!!
*Outside*
Luigi: Thanks for the lift, Bus Driver! Now, I wonder what floor Mario is on?
*Suddenly, Torte comes crashing out the window of floor six*
Peach: Well, THAT answers our question.
DK: I've got him! *Catches him and sets him down*
Chef Torte: Hit the...the red button...on floor seven... *Passes out*
Yoshi: I guess I'll stay here while you guys save Mario, just in case he wakes up.
Luigi: OK.
Peach: "Hit the red button on floor seven?" Hmm...
Luigi: Well, let's go!
*The group goes up the giant stairway to floor seven*
Peach: Well, here we are! That alarm is annoying...
Toad: It must mean Mario has escaped!
Peach: There's the red button!
DK: Come on, let's push it!
*All but Luigi walk to the button. DK is just about to press it when a Goomba throws a Bob-omb into the room. Luigi sees it, but doesn't say anything. The Bob-omb explodes, sending Peach, Yoshi, Toad, and DK flying back against the wall. Only Luigi remains able to move*
Toad: Hit...hit...the button...
DK: Yeah, c'mon!...Just...just push it!...
Luigi: NO.
Peach: What?!
Luigi: I said NO, and I mean NO.
Toad: B-but...but why? It's what...what we were trying to...to do.
Luigi: I can't.
*Wario watches through a spy camera*
Wario: My plan is going PERFECTLY. Luigi didn't do what I said, but it'll still work!
*In the sixth floor*
Mario: ...Ungh...
Giant Para-Koopa: Yous gonna now is die!
Mario: NO!...
Giant Para-Koopa: Hyuh hyuh hyuh. *Raises a fist to crush Mario*
DK: Luigi, push the stupid button!!!
Luigi: NO!!!! I would, but I can't!! I'm stuck!!! Maybe I can just reach it...
Peach: Luigi, NO!!
*Luigi accidentally slips and presses the green button. The red button would have shot a laser at the Para-Koopa and killed it. But the GREEN button only enhances its cell structure and makes it larger. Its body is saturated green and instantly begins to grow.*
*Suddenly, the Para-Koopa's head pokes through the seventh floor, directly under DK*
DK: Whooaaaaaa!!!!
*DK and the head rise and smash through the eighth floor. Now the shell rises through the seventh floor, with a battered Mario hanging on*
*DK crashes through the ninth floor, while Mario busts through the eighth. Suddenly, it all stops. The Koopa is as tall as the castle itself*
Gigantic Para-Koopa: DUH HUH HUH HUH!!!
Peach: Oooohhhhhhh boy...
*The Para-Koopa snatches Mario from his shell and throws him over 250 feet in the air*
*Mario streaks toward the ground at an unimaginable speed*
Mario: AAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!
Peach: NO!!! NO!!! MARIO!!!!!
*And suddenly, everything goes bvack*
TO BE CONTINUED...