Copyright © 2002 by Syvia & Demon Hunter Anamae. All Rights Reserved.
Disclaimer: The few things we own are listed here; ourselves and the Narrator, and Damion, the vampire formerly known as Ah-choo. Bucky the former chipmunk was inspired by the squirrel from The Emperor's New Groove. Phoebe, the head warden, and Marie, the Sarafan Lord's daughter, belong to DHA. Touching without permission will lead to legal action. Have a nice day. :-D
From one Author to the other:
Syvia- A bit? You changed the title a bit?
Anamae- Yes... as in completely.
Syvia- *snickers* Yes, yes you did.
Anamae- So you do mind?
Syvia- No, this one is better, but it's not really grammatically correct.
Anamae- ...When has that ever stopped us?
Syvia- *sighs* I'm gonna tweak one word and then I'll be fine with it.
Anamae- *gestures for her to get on with it*
Authors' Notes:
Anamae- Hey, I did it! I finally did it! *does a little victory dance* Yeah, its finally over and done with!
Syvia- *pokes her head into the room* Did what? Some new form of torture on Moebius? Figured out the plot for LoK: Defiance? Managed to think up a reasonable idea about the cut out footage and all that in SR1 and 2 that won't be shot down by others?
Anamae- Nope, I finally got around to playing Soul Reaver 2 and getting the Fire Reaver! *grins*
Syvia- *deadpan* Oh. *thinks* You never played it before?
Anamae- Well, remember in the first Fluff, how I told you I never played SR2? And how I didn't know how to get through half the stuff that we came up against and that's where I made up all the dumb stuff that got us into even further trouble? I finally managed to get a copy of the game and while we're in between chapters, I sit down and play it in the character lounge. And I finally got the Fire Reaver. The Sarafan Lord actually had the walkthrough.
Syvia- ...Anamae, let's just get to the reviews.
Anamae- But I want to see what happens after the Fire Reaver!
Syvia- Reviews first, Fire Reaver later! VladimirsAngel- *GLOMP* *lol* Bucky- Bucky, bubby, we need him for the chapter.
Anamae- Oh let him alone, Raz can bounce back from anything. As for you, Angel- *loudly shushes her*.
Syvia- *whispering* If people learn you got free tickets, everyone will want them! But on the subject of Janos- well... the jury's still out on whether he's safer with us or the Hylden. Hopefully they'll get back by the end of the chapter.
Anamae- Hopefully. Thanks for the review! Concept- *chuckles* Hey, it's Windows- it's evil in any form. Thanks. :-)
Syvia- Sylvanon- Do we let... *looks uncomfortable* well, actually...
Anamae- *interrupting Syv* Not really, but keep watching- you never really know. Bucky, make a note- take names for cameos and honorable mentions.... Bucky? *looks at the squirrel who's still beating on Raz. Sighs* Thanks for the review, anyway.
Syvia- Fallen Templar- Well, no we didn't get the blaster- unfortunately in our little world, inanimate things tend to get minds of their own. The compy was just too testy for its own good. *lol* Well, I don't know what will cost 500 bucks... there might be a few things that top that. Thanks!
Anamae- Mourning- *smirks* You'll just have to wait and see- and believe me, it can always get worse! Chalcedony- Thank you! *watches the video.... sees all the money get swept away again* Oh... *sniff* I'd forgotten about that part... *sniffle... blows her nose on a handkerchief* , Syv... keep going?
Syvia- *patting Anamae on the back* It'll be okay. Discordia- Thank you and don't fear- I mean... we weren't the first people to kill Janos. :-p We may have been the first to make a South Park type parody of it... but we definitely weren't the first. *points to Discordia's Muse* That is one smart muse.
Anamae- *clearing her throat bravely* Cat of Fluff- Ahh. Glad to hear it. I love making people laugh with my natural behavior. Enjoy the new chapter!
~...............................................Crashing The Ship of Fools.............................................~
Before they arrived at the Hylden city, Moebius, Vorador, Kain, Raziel and Bucky had set up a poker table on the deck. With the help of the less and less frequently used plot holes, they'd gotten two stacks of plastic money chips. Moebius fixed his little green sun visor, delicately lifted a potato chip to his lips, and chomped it loudly into fragments, before dealing the cards. Let's look at the current standings, shall we?
Now, as it is explained to me; blue chips are worth one soul, white chips are worth five souls, and red chips are worth ten souls.
Syvia- *watching over Bucky's shoulder* Souls?
Hey, it's Nosgoth.
Syvia- Hmph. *she smirks* Point taken.
Again, let's look at the standings. Currently, a large pile of red chips sat before Moebius, who was smirking as he dealt the cards. He'd been winning for a while now.
Vorador had a moderate pile of chips of various colors, as he tended to make conservative bets, and fold if things were getting too risky.
Kain had a piddly little pile of white and blue chips, as he tended to bet large when his odds were good, but only won once out of every dozen hands.
Raziel was on his last chip, as he tended to stay in each hand till the end, but NEVER won a hand.
Bucky had a moderate pile of chips, like Vorador, because he had a habit of betting moderately and got lucky enough to win once in a while.
Now- let's ask why Moebius is winning.
The group around the poker table looked up, surprised. I ask again- 'why is Moebius winning'?
Sudden comprehension dawned in their eyes and Moebius looked ill. Syvia burst out laughing and slid to the floor, her legs unable to hold her. Bucky snickered into his cards, watching the vampires, who were eyeing Moebius murderously.
The Time Streamer shouted in fear as Kain and Raziel dove over the table and began beating him into a bloody pulp. Vorador thought about joining them, but decided it would ruin his clothing, and sat comfortably at the table, eating potato chips.
Random Vampire- Well?
Well what?
Random Vampire- Why was Moebius winning?
As the answer to this question was so obvious, I couldn't help myself, and burst out laughing myself. Bwahahahahahahahah-
Random Vampire- *insulted look* Well? Isn't someone going to answer my question?
Anamae- *steering, grins at the vampire* Moebius stacks the deck.
Random Vampire- *still clueless* Oh... okay... *walks off*
Anamae- *clears her throat at them* We need him alive, boys.
Raziel and Kain stopped pounding the hell out of Moebius for a moment and looked at the girl.
Kain- Why?
Anamae- Rule number 264 of war and invading the enemy's territory: Always take a sacrificial lamb. *smirks* If things go bad, then we simply throw Moebius in front of them and run like hell.
Raziel- Point taken. *looks at Moebius and says in an overly-friendly voice* Moebius, good friend, let me help you up! Now you sit down here and do absolutely nothing until we need you, which might be very soon give or take a couple of minutes.
Moebius didn't know what to do, so he did something that surprised everyone on this voyage, including me. He minded his own business for once. Vorador came up beside Anamae and watched her steer the ship.
Vorador- Ever taken a course?
Anamae- Nope.
Vorador- Learned it from the book?
Anamae- Yup. Ohh, look! The Hylden City! *points*
Everyone looked at the city as it rose above the waves, mist circling around the crumbling walls. It was mystical and majestic, frightening and awe-inspiring... and in need of desperate repair and a good coat of paint.
Random Hylden at the watchtower- Well if we had the money we'd give it one, but we're on a budget here. *goes back to guard duty*
So as everyone crowded around the prow to get a closer view of the city that no one had ever seen since the days of the Hylden/Ancient war, which looking back in Nosgoth texts details some of the most bloody-
Everyone- Get on with the story!
-right, sorry. Syvia noticed something. The harbor was coming into view, yet they hadn't begun to slow down... they were actually picking up speed.
Syvia- Anamae, you can hit the breaks now.
Anamae grinned at everyone and raised her hands from the wheel.
Anamae- I didn't learn how to stop the ship so basically it's everyone for themselves. Abandon ship if you value your lives!
Kain- You coward!
Anamae- *jumping off* I might be a coward, but at least I have the guts to admit it!
Syvia- Oh god!
She then jumped off the boat and into the water, landing with a splash near Anamae. Bucky jumped off not too long after, landing on her head. The rest of the vampires ran around the ship in a panic, not able to jump off because of the ocean, and not wanting to stay on because of the imminent crash. Ooooh baby. *snickers* This is going to hurt.
The boat slammed into the dock with a thunderous crunch and the shriek of twisting metal. The vampires were hurled into the air and splatted-
Syvia- *swimming to the dock* 'Splatted'? That's not a word.
I made it up.
Anamae- *hauling herself onto the stone platform, sarcastically* I wish I could make up a word.
Ahem, splatted onto the front of the Hylden city pavement. Kain slowly picked himself up, his face re-forming into its formerly unmarred state. Raziel glided calmly to the ground, Moebius tucked under his arm, for as Anamae had said, they'd need to feed him to the wolves later. The humans... well aside from Syvia and Anamae, the humans had been used as food and were all dead. *shrugs* That's the way it goes.
Raziel- *genially* Rough landing?
Kain- Oh shut up!
Raziel snickered softly and set the quivering Moebius on the ground. The other vampires peeled themselves off walkways and walls and waited for their bones to re-knit. Anamae helped Syvia and Bucky out of the water and they moved towards the main entrance.
Hylden on the watchtower- RELEASE THE DEMONS!
Syvia- Oh that sounds bad.
Anamae- Whoever brought weapons- get them out right now!
The gates creaked open slowly, releasing the roaring of the beasts before they could be seen.
And the demons charged!
And everyone ran...the other way!
Without Moebius!
Moebius- Hey, what about me?
Raziel and Anamae- You're food! Act like it! *look at each other* Jinx! Double jinx!
Kain- Shut up and run!
So everyone ran around the demons who were in the process of using Moebius, head as a baseball, his staff as a bat, and fulfilling their dreams of making the first demon baseball team in all of Nosgoth. The Hylden guards who had opened the gates looked at each other.
Hylden no.1- They're coming.
Hylden no.2- So close the gates!
Hylden no.1- Can't.
Hylden no.2- Why not?
Because I the narrator forbid it! Mwahahahahaha! And as the group stampeded over the two Hylden who could not close the door because I was blocking the way, Syvia and Anamae stayed behind to stomp on the Hylden a couple more times to make sure they were really, really dead.
Anamae- Question?
Syvia- What?
Anamae- How can you tell which is a girl and which is a guy? They don't have any distinguishing features, you know? They're voices even sound the same!
Syvia- I know.
Raziel- We can discuss this later! Everyone get going! *picks them up and runs with them over his shoulders*
Anamae- Yeah, go Raz! Carry us because our legs are tired!
Syvia- And we're weak. Hell *looks at Anamae* he's strong.
Then Raziel realized that he didn't want to be the local carrying service. Stopping quickly he dumped both girls to the ground as the vampires stopped in front of a broken bridge. On the other side, across the water, was the supposed main building. It even said that in bright green letters: Main Building.
Vorador- We cannot swim across...
Kain- And cannot teleport.
Raziel- Which means...*all the vampires eyes fasten on the girls*...you'll have to swim over and make the bridge work.
And without another word, the girls were given the old heave-ho into the water.
==========================================
Syvia- So does this mean now that you've completed SR2, or are about to, that you'll be going onto playing BO2? I mean we're already in Meridian and all but we've messed up so much in the city anyways that BO2 might make just as little sense to you as the chronological order we've been hopping through, and to the viewers and what I've been saying the whole time.
Anamae- ...Well, I was actually hoping that Crystarr would write up his version of BO2a and I would read it, then from that I would get the gist of the whole game. I did the same thing with SR2a.
Syvia- Do you actually play through any game to the finish?
Anamae- Yes.
Syvia- And that game was?
Anamae- Soul Reaver Monopoly!!! I owned Stahlberg and Willendorf, plus the Ancient City, but Bucky had the Pillars so I couldn't get the property and get the monopoly! My token piece was Hash. *grins*
Syvia- *raises one eyebrow* And why haven't I seen this game? And what other token pieces were there?