KART CHAMPIONS
EPISODE IV
"THE PLOT"
*Luigi accidentally slips and presses the green button. The red button would have shot a laser at the Para-Koopa and killed it. But the GREEN button only enhances its cell structure and makes it larger. Its body is saturated green and instantly begins to grow.*
*Suddenly, the Para-Koopa's head pokes through the seventh floor, directly under DK*
DK: Whooaaaaaa!!!!
*DK and the head rise and smash through the eighth floor. Now the shell rises through the seventh floor, with a battered Mario hanging on*
*DK crashes through the ninth floor, while Mario busts through the eighth. Suddenly, it all stops. The Koopa is as tall as the castle itself*
Gigantic Para-Koopa: DUH HUH HUH HUH!!!
Peach: Oooohhhhhhh boy...
*The Para-Koopa snatches Mario from his shell and throws him over 250 feet in the air*
*Mario streaks toward the ground at an unimaginable speed*
Mario: AAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!
Peach: NO!!! NO!!! MARIO!!!!!
*And suddenly, everything goes black*
*Or rather – white...*
*Mario lifts his head. He is on the floor of the Nimbus Land bus, which just saved him from falling nine stories to the ground below*
Lakitu: You all right there, Mario?
Mario: Uhh...uh, yeah...
Lakitu: Whoa!... What is that?!
Gigantic Para-Koopa: YOUS NOT LEAVE!! *Jumps up in the air and smashes down
with incredible force – the ground cracks beneath him*
*Torte and Yoshi at ground level trip and fall*
*Bowser's airship flies over suddenly. Bowser looks over the edge, horrified, at what remains of his castle below*
Bowser: NO!!! My castle!!! Koopa! Crush those fools!
Gigantic Para-Koopa: YES, SUH.
*The Koopa suddenly stumbles backwards smashes his massive weight into a pillar. The pillar crumbles, and the structural integrity can hold the level no longer – the north wall tumbles into the canyon.*
*DK is shaken off the Koopa's head, and the bus catches him as well*
*The Valley of Bowser is directly behind the castle, its towering cliffs thriatening to drag the castle down into its depths*
Mario: Hey, BOWSER!! What do you think you're doing?! You'll kill everyone!
Bowser: Well, I...uh...hmm...isn't that the point?!
Mario: Do you want to lose everything? Including your CASTLE??
Bowser: Uh, I...err...no, I suppose not...
Mario: Then call off your giant Koopa!
Bowser (thinking): I can't actually agree with MARIO!
Bowser: Koopa! CRUSH THEM!!
*The Koopa advances forward, steps into another floor of the castle by accident, trips, and falls backward into the endless valley, never to be seen again.*
Bowser: NO!!!
Lakitu: If you don't come clean right NOW, you will be officially disqualified from the
Flower Cup, which we race for tomorrow!! NOW!!
*A humiliated Bowser approaches, and they make amends...*
*But one person is off by himself*
DK: Hey, Luigi? It's ok...
Luigi: Oh, geez. What did I do? I actually let Wario push me around. How could I do
that? Oh, man. I...I'm really sorry, guys...
Toad: That's all right, Luigi. It really wasn't even your fault – you were stuck! It turned
out all right, anyway...wait, WARIO was behind all of this?!
*Everyone is instantly silenced as a defiant voice approaches Bowser*
Torte: BOWSEHR!! Turn over Spot NOW!!
Peaxh: *Turns toward Mario* What?? Do you know what he's talking about??
Mario: All I know is that Bowser was holding some cat of Torte's for ransom...
Peach: Oh...that's pretty weird...
Bowser: Uh...I...don't have your...cat.
Torte: Then what do you keep holdeeng up and showeeng me to make me do what you
want every time I deecide to do something else?!
Luigi: I know! STUFFED CATS!! I saw his secret room! He's got hundreds! And
there was a real cat with them!
*Bowser looks stunned for a moment, but attempts to conceal it from everyone else. He then glares menacingly at Luigi*
Torte: Oh is zees ssssoooo!!
Bowser: Hmph!
Lakitu: TALK, Bowser! Or you're gone!
Bowser: Hmm...
Bowser (Thinking): No! My reputation! I CAN'T agree with them! But...a trophy and
8,000 coins at stake – hmm...I don't have any choice...I WON'T be
humiliated in front of Mario! Hmm...I know!!
Lakitu: Well?? Speak up!!
Bowser: Sure, I did it! But MARIO stole the cat in the first place! He said if I didn't do
this, he'd...err...hurt me...really...uh...badly...! Isn't that RIGHT, Mario??
*Bowser holds up a fist menacingly as if to say, "Say yes or I'll punch your
lights out!"*
Mario: No, I DIDN'T say that! Don't you threaten me!
Torte: So turn heem ovehr! NOW!!!
Bowser: I said I don't have him!!
DK: Yes, you do! We just proved that!
Bowser: I let him GO!! Gah ha hah! He's GONE!
Peach: Oh, Bowser!! How could you do such a terrible thing?!
Yoshi: Geez, Bowser! I say you go with Torte right NOW and go help him find him!!
Luigi: Yeah!
Toad: You did it. You should help him out!!
Bowser: I refuse.
Yoshi: What? You have to!
Bowser: I'm not going. HE lost the cat, HE can find it easily enough.
DK: Geez, Bowser. You're a real jerk.
Yoshi: Yeah, I know. Let's get out of here.
*Everyone leaves and Bowser trudges inside, chuckling*
Torte: Spot...
*Torte races off, in dispair*
*Mario, Luigi, Peach, Yoshi, Toad, and DK return a few hours later, with ice-cream sundaes from the resort kitchen. Torte hasn't returned*
Luigi: Mmm...
Yoshi: Yeah, this is really good...
*Luigi stops and his eyebrows crease. He is suddenly serious*
Luigi: The FLOWER CUP?! We're racing for the FLOWER CUP?!
DK: Luigi, Lakitu said that about two hours ago. That JUST hit you??
Mario: It just took awhile to sink into his pitiful brain!
Luigi: HEY! At least my brain is larger than my stomach!!
Mario: Oh yeah? Well at least wear your own clothes for once!!
Luigi: I do! But I have enough sense not to lose my hat!
Mario: Well, at least I'm not paranoid about waking up at the crack of dawn!
Luigi: Yeah? But at least I don't have a crush on Pe...
Mario: OKAY!! That's the end of that.
Peach: Hmm?! Yes?? Continue your most interesting sentence there, Luigi!
Mario: HEY...!
Peach: Ah...hmm...I'll try to ignore that...
*Everyone snorts with laughter and heads back to the resort for a good night's sleep*
*Wario wakes in the night and walks through the hall, prying at every door, but they are all locked tightly and securely*
Wario: Rrgh...the only one who understands me around here is Bowser. I'll have to talk
to him more...maybe I'll be able to get some money out of him!
*Wario wanders away muttering to himself about how his profit will greatly increase soon and how he'll be rich and rule over everything*
Wario: Gya ha hah!
*Wario can't sleep, but can't see in the darkness even though there is a large, curving glass window on the outer edge of the hallway that looks out to the sea. He trips over the top stair and tumbles down, lands at the bottom and slams into Bowser's door. He is rendered unconcious*
*Bowser, grumbling, whaps the door open and sees Wario. He takes him into his room, and wakes him up*
*They talk, and form plans. Several unseen evil activities take place...*
*And dawn rises over the water!*
Wario: Uh oh... *Hurries back to his room*
*His door slams, waking Luigi because he is such a light sleeper*
Luigi: Hmm...I wonder what that was...? Well, I might as well get up.
*Luigi stands and stretches, and goes about making breakfast, humming his favorite tune. He grabs an egg from the carton they brought, tosses it over his head behind him, holds a frying pan behind him, and turns it sideways so the left edge is facing up*
*He then tosses the frying pan upward, and the edge smacks the egg in midair. He whirls around, and sees three splotches of raw egg come flying down with two shell pieces and the frying pan*
*At this point, Mario wakes and comes over to the kitchen to watch*
*Luigi snatches the frying pan out of the air, and smacks the shells over the counter into the garbage bin, twirls it in his hand, and tosses it onto his head. He dodges left, right, and left again and catches all three blobs of egg, perfectly, dead center*
*As Mario approaches, he trips over a shoe left lying on the carpet and smacks into Luigi's leg. The eggs splatter onto the floor*
Mario: Ow...
Luigi: You idiot.
*They make toast instead. At 9:00, there is a knock on the door*
Yoshi: Hey, you guys! The first race of the flower cup is today! Guess where it is?!
Mario: Oh, yeah, I'll bet it's Luigiisthebest Stadium or something, isn't it? *Rolls eyes*
Yoshi: Naw, it's Toad's Turnpike! You know that old abandoned freeway? Well,
Lakitu reopened it and now people can drive on it! So, when we race this one,
we'd better watch out for cars!
Mario: TOAD'S TURNPIKE?! Gya ha ha hah ha hah hah hah!!! AH HA HA HAH!!
Yoshi: I know...I don't get this one either...Toad wasn't really ever a hero or anything,
but I guess he's got some fans out there. Maybe they were just running out of
name ideas or something...
Mario: Hee hee hee! Oh, that's the best one I've heard all day! Toad's Turnpike!
Yoshi: Well, ANYWAY...the race is in two hours, so you'd better be ready!
Luigi: Right. Thanks, Yoshi! Say, what's wrong with Luigiisthebest Stadium?!
Mario: Luigi, I've got a small piece of advice.
Luigi: Yes?
Mario: Shut.
Luigi: Yeah? What else?
Mario: Up.
Luigi: Ah...hmm...
*The first hour passes, and they are becoming bored out of their skulls*
Mario: Hey, Luigi?
Luigi: Eh?
Mario: We need to do something.
Luigi: Like what?
Mario: I dunno...
*They sit staring at each other*
*Ten more minutes pass*
Mario: Hey, Luigi?
Luigi: Eh?
Mario: We REALLY need to do something.
Luigi: Well, uh...let's get Yoshi. He always seems to be able to figure these things out...
Mario: Good idea.
*They go and get Yoshi*
Mario: Hey Yoshi?
Yoshi: What?
Luigi: We need to do something.
Yoshi: Like what?
Mario: Well, we were sort of hoping you might be able to think of something...
Yoshi: What do you think, Luigi?
Luigi: Maybe some kind of game?
Yoshi: Like a board game? No way!
Luigi: No, like volleyball!
Mario: Come on, we just played that like a week ago.
Luigi: We could eat...
Yoshi: We just did!
Luigi: Oh, yeah...hmm...
Mario: Well?
Luigi: Ummm, baseball?
Yoshi: We don't have a bat!
Luigi: Geez! Umm, hide and go seek?
Mario: *Looks at Yoshi* I guess I'm fine with that. Oh, WAIT! No, no, I'm NOT fine
with that! We just had this conversation a couple of days ago and when we
played it, well, look where it lead!
Yoshi: Good point, good point...well, in that case...umm...let's ask DK.
Luigi: Aww, we were hoping we wouldn't have to go to a bunch of different people to
find out something to do...
Yoshi: Well, that's no problem! Don't worry about that.
Mario: Why?
Yoshi: 'Cause DK's a gorilla! *Starts cackling uproariously*
Luigi: I...uh...I don't get it...
Mario: Luigi.
Luigi: Yes?
Mario: My advice still stands.
Luigi: Ah...hmm...
Yoshi: Well, let's go ask DK anyway.
*They head over to DK's*
Luigi: Hey DK?
DK: What?
Yoshi: We need to do something.
DK: Like what?
*Luigi and Yoshi look at each other in exasperation*
Mario: Never mind...
DK: Oh, did you want me to come up with something?
Luigi: YES!
DK: Oh, OK. How about, uh...hmm...let me think...
Yoshi: *Sighs*
DK: We could eat. Maybe play a board game? What about volleyball? Baseball?
Luigi: GYAAAHHHH!!!!!
Yoshi: Oh, well...it's time for the race anyway...
Mario: Well, that was pointless...
Yoshi: Well, anyways, keep in mind that this is gonna be the hardest race we've ever
raced before! This is the fifth of about sixteen races before the final award, the
trophy and the coins!
DK: What is this, a pep talk? Let's get out of here!
Toad: DK?
DK: What?
Toad: I have a special request.
DK: What is it?
Toad: Should you happen to win the Flower Cup...
DK: Yes??
Toad: PLEASE do not do your victory dance. You will find that it disgusts me greatly.
DK: Hmm...I'll think about it...
*The group leaves for the track, followed by a surreptitious-looking Wario and Bowser, in the middle of rapt conversation*
Bowser: So. Did you do it?
Wario: What? You doubt me? I'm the best person around for this type of HIGH
PAYING job. I'm the best at a lot of HIGH PAYING jobs.
Bowser: I see! I'll be interested to see when you find one!
*Several choice words are presently edited out of Wario's speech to keep the rating at G*
Bowser: Hm?? What was that you said??
Wario: What? I said...I...uh, think you're the best guy around...
Bowser: Ah...hmm.
*As the group walks down the trail to get their karts, a Snifit leaps into their path*
Snifit: Mario! There is something you must know!
Mario: Eh? What?
Snifit: Come here, sir.
*The Snifit leaps into the trees*
Mario: You guys? Go ahead and keep going – I'll catch up!
Peach: Are you sure?? *Looks nervously at the Snifit*
Mario: Sure. Just go ahead!
*The group continues on*
Mario: OK, so what is it?
Snifit: Mr. Mario, sir, you must not show at the race!
Mario: Huh? Why?
Snifit: Danger, sir! Terrible, terrible danger!
Mario: *Becomes concerned* What sort of danger?!
Snifit: Awful, terrible danger, sir! Please, you musn't go!
Mario: Well, if there's danger, I'll go help whoever's in trouble!
Snifit: Ah, so valiant, sir! You have quite a following, you know, among many of us...
What?! No! YOU, sir, are the one in current danger! And you MUST NOT
PARTICIPATE IN THE RACE!!
Mario: WHY?? What is this awful danger?
Snifit: Evil, evil plots – dark matters are at work, here. The farther you go down that
path, the worse your situation becomes!! You must turn back! Turn back now,
before you find out what it is I am warning you of! You must go back, gather
your things, and LEAVE THE RESORT as quickly as possible! Go, Mario sir!!
The longer you stay, the more you endanger your life and others! This resort is
no longer SAFE!!! You are dealing with dark, dark secrets. GO!!!
*The Snifit disappears into the darkness*
Mario: Wait! What is it?! What is the danger?!
*Silence*
Mario: WAIT!!! I HAVE TO KNOW!!!
*Silence*
Mario: THIS IS IMPORTANT!!!!
*Silence*
*Far up the trail, the group continues on*
Peach: Where's Mario?? I'm getting worried about him.
Yoshi: I wonder where he went...
Luigi: You don't think he was kidnapped again, do you??
DK: Naw, and he'd probably get out of it, anyway.
Peach: I hope he's okay...
Yoshi: Me too.
*They continue on, and reach the area where Lakitu waits with the bus and their karts*
Lakitu: Hey, guys! Where'd Mario head off to?
Yoshi: We don't know, but he'll probably end up there before us anyway.
Lakitu: Hey! Aren't Wario and Bowser missing, too??
Luigi: Yeah...I guess they are...
DK: It's no wonder. No one ever notices them...
Peach: They better not have something to do with wherever Mario is.
Lakitu: I hope you're right.
*They get in the bus and it lifts off slowly into the clouds*
*And where are Bowser and Wario?*
*They are stumbling through the underbrush, hunting for Mario*
Wario: Blasted Mario! This is his fault!!
Bowser: I called you know who – he's got it all set up.
Wario: Perfect! Hey Bowser?
Bowser: What?
Wario: No one HEARD those plans, right...?
Bowser: I don't think so...
Wario: If anyone did, the plan's history!
Bowser: I...well...hmm...
Wario: What?? What is it?!
Bowser: What if they all left?
Wario: Well, then we can't go through with the plan! If we can't get Mario there, we
can't do it! And we have to tell...
Bowser: SSHH!!! Anyone could be listening.
Wario: And we have to tell you know who before Mario gets there!
Bowser: Right. So we have to find him.
Wario: What if they all left?
Bowser: Shut up. I just said that!
Wario: I never really wanted to do this, you know. You forced me to do it!
Bowser: I did not.
Wario: You did! You made it sound like I could earn a lot of coins!
Bowser: Well, I suppose that would force you to...
Wario: SSHH!!! You hear that?
Bowser: *Strains to hear*
*Mario is walking along the path, saying:*
Mario: NOW what'll I do?? Danger. Hmm... gotta find out what. Maybe I could find
another way there...the bus is gone...
*Mario heads back to the resort*
*Bowser and Wario look at each other evilly*
*Meanwhile, in the bus, Luigi has fallen asleep. The others are extremely bored, another old science fiction movie is playing. Everyone is silent, tired and bored. Except Peach*
Peach: Oh, I'm getting really worried about Mario!
Yoshi: For the last time, he's FINE! Nothing is wrong with him!
Peach: But you don't know that!
DK: Peach, he's probably already there anyway. Don't WORRY!
Peach: But I do, and I think he's in trouble.
Toad: Well, please stop thinking that. We've got about an hour before sundown and
we'll be there long after dark, so we might as well just sleep now. We won't be
able to at all when we get there.
Yoshi: That sounds good to me... *Yawns* I dunno about you guys, but I'm ready to go
to sleep about now...
DK: Me too. 'Night, you guys. *Instantly falls asleep*
Toad: I've always wondered how he does that...
*At the resort, Mario enters the lobby and thinks for a moment*
Mario: Let's see...the entire resort is on an island. I can't go over it – the bus is gone. I
can't go on it, 'cause I'd be late. What if I went under it...?
*Mario talks to the desk clerk*
Mario: Excuse me, ma'am, but can you tell me if you have any information about renting
equipment for underwater exploration, and that sort of thing?
Clerk: Of course sir......sir? You may rent the Blue Marine, a state-of- the-art, high-tech
mini-sub with lots of extra features for 100 coins per use, or you can rent our
diving special, with all the swimming gear you'll need and extra air supplies.
This includes a special headlamp accessory, all for 50 coins per use. To rent these
and other special offers, visit our tours section down the hall that way. *Points*
Mario: Thank you! *Walks down the hall*
*Mario reaches the tours area and talks to the main manager*
Mario: Can I have a look at your latest offers?
Manager: Of COURSE, sir. *Shows the Blue Marine, the diving set, and several others*
Mario: HEY! *Points to the Blue Marine* I think I used that when I was in Sarassa
Land! How did you get that??
Manager: We constructed it as a replica of the ones used 20 years ago, just with new
features. We liked the older style...
Mario: Well anyway, I'd like to rent the Blue Marine for one usage.
Manager: All right sir, that will be 100 coins. Have an enjoyable trip.
*Mario seats himself in the mini-sub and it is placed on a boat. The boat sails out to sea, and the sub is pushed over into the water*
Mario: All right! Just like my old one. Okay, time to catch up with everyone else!
*The sub zooms into the darkness*
*It is now 1:15 in the morning. Everyone but Peach is asleep, and the bus is coming in for a quiet landing in the desert. The crickets chirp softly, and bats fly overhead*
Peach: Hey everyone! *Peach whispers* We're here!
DK: Oooohhhhhh...I'm tired. *Gets up slowly*
*Everyone finally stands up and stretches on the rocky ground*
Lakitu: Everyone up? OK, our first race of the Grand Prix season! I'm sure you're all
so pumped up and excited!
*Lakitu looks, grinning, at the glum faces that surround him*
Lakitu: Come on now, wake up, you guys! We race at dawn. You know the rules, right?
The grand prix rules are a little different. The race is the same, but if you get
first place, you get 9 of what we call "placement points." If you get second
place, you get 6 points, third place you get 3 points, fourth place is one point,
and fifth and below don't count for any points. At the end of all the four races of
the grand prix, the racer with the most points will win the prized Flower Cup!
You got all that? OK, now we're going to need a volunteer to tell Mario, Wario,
and Bowser this when they get here.
Luigi: I guess I'll do it.
Lakitu: All right, Luigi. Thank you. Oh, yes...in the area where you will be training
before the race, we will have a scoreboard showing everyone's current amount
of points. We'll have this set up somewhere every race. Another thing. In
every Grand Prix race we do, there will always be one special item box hidden
somewhere. In this box, you will find a map for the race – this will show all of
the special rules, secret entrances and shortcuts in the area. Good luck! Our
training building is right this way, come along...
*Lakitu guides them into a bunker-like building at the side of the freeway*
Toad: Why are we racing at dawn?
Lakitu: Since I reopened the freeway, a lot of people have been driving on it. If we race
at dawn, not as many people will be here.
Toad: Oh, OK. Why didn't you just cancel traffic?
Lakitu: Well, I figured SOME cars might make this interesting.
DK: Hey, cool! Computers!
*DK runs in the building and sits down in front of one of the monitors*
DK: So where's the Start button? How do I play? *Starts pressing random buttons*
Lakitu: DK!!! Get AWAY FROM THAT!!!
DK: Um, OK.
Lakitu: You just deleted a program we had to buy for 20,000 coins just yesterday. We
haven't even used it yet. You're lucky you didn't have to pay for it! Our funds
will take care of it, don't worry...
DK: Oh...uh, sorry about that...
Lakitu: No, no, it's fine. Just don't do it again. OK everyone, this is our simulator
room. These computers will show you a fake race, and you can control your
character using the keyboard. The buttons you'll use are, A, B, Z, L, R,
Start...you get the idea. Anyway, give it your best shot, and try to improve on
your old methods! These things are really fun, I get addicted after awhile.
Luigi: All, right! This is great!
*Suddenly, a rumbling stops all of them. It appears to be coming through the ground...*
Toad: Hey, w...what is that??
Yoshi: I don't know...this is really weird...an earthquake maybe? Naw...
*Everyone stares at the floor*
*Suddenly, with a gigantic spray of water, the Blue Marine appears, with drills spinning on the top, making a high-pitched whine*
DK: GGYYYAAAHHHHH!!!!!!
*Mario steps out, dripping wet*
Mario: Hey, you guys!
Luigi: OK, Mario, the Grand Prix rules are a little bit different. See, there are these
things called "placement points." When you get...
Latiku: Luigi, this is not the time. Are you all right, Mario?
Mario: Yeah, sure! The bus was already gone, and I certainly couldn't walk or rent a
plane, so I just got a sub instead.
Peach: OH MARIO!! I'm so glad you're OK...! *Runs over and hugs him*
Mario: ...Peach......
*Meanwhile, at the resort*
Bowser: I don't believe this...where could he have gone so quickly??
Wario: Let's ask the desk clerk.
Bowser: Good idea. If he's here, the clerk will know.
*They walk into the lobby*
Wario: Hey! Where's Mario? *Wario asks very rudely, and then burps*
Clerk: Well, SIR, maybe you should go look for him OUTSIDE!
Wario: Ah, stuff it. *Snatches the book from behind the counter* Let's
see...Mario...Mario...nope, not here. *Throws the book at the clerk* Here you
go. Let's get outta here, Bowser.
*The two leave the resort*
Bowser: Er...nicely done...
Wario: Thank you. Well anyways, maybe he's already there?
Bowser: I'll bet you're right. But that's very very bad...let's go to the mail service. We
need to tell you know who before the race starts. And we need to get there
ourselves! Let's go.
*They go to the mail service and hire a para-koopa to deliver the message to the mystery person. The para-koopa flies out the window into the darkness*
Wario: Here ya go, 15 coins. *Digs them out of his pocket and hands them over*
*They leave the mail service*
Bowser: Let me guess...
Wario: Yeah?
Bowser: They were counterfeit?
Wario: Of course! You think I'm gonna waste my profits on a dumb mail service?!
Bowser: I should have known. Let's go to the ferry service. We've got to get there
really soon...the race starts at dawn.
Wario: OK, let's go.
*The two hire the ferry and Wario pays more counterfeit coins. Bowser's and Wario's plan is now in action...*
*At the training facility...*
Luigi: All right, take THIS!! *Slams his finger down on R*
Luigi: Wait a minute, that was drift turn! Oh nnnoooo!!!! *Tumbles into the water*
Mario: These simulator thingies are really cool...I've gotta get one!
*They play with the simulators for another hour*
Yoshi: Lakitu, I've gotta use the restroom. Can I go for a minute?
Lakitu: Sure, just come right back!
Yoshi: OK.
*Yoshi leaves the room and walks down the sandy road to the restroom*
*Just before he enters, he notices a para-koopa flying in the distance, carrying a message*
Yoshi: Mail call? Out here? Yeah right. *Yoshi enters the restroom*
*Yoshi suddenly comes back out again, concerned*
Yoshi: Wait a minute...where is that going?! That's the shed where our karts are stored!!
*Yoshi starts walking in that direction*
Yoshi: There must be someone in there, to take that message! That can only mean
someone could be sabotaging the karts!! And that most likely would
mean...someone's got it in for Mario!!! *Breaks into a full run to the dark shed*
*Wario and Bowser are now arriving at the edge of the desert*
Bowser: THANK you, for your most wonderful ride!
Driver: Uh, you're welcome, sir...
*The two jump off and start running for the bunker in the far distance. They don't see Yoshi just reaching the edge of the shed*
*Yoshi suddenly stops*
Yoshi: Wait a sec. The only person who would do that would be Bowser, and probably
Wario. But if they're in there, then...oh wait, no...I see them now, way over by
the bunker...OK then, they can't be behind this. Then who is...?
*By the bunker*
Bowser: See, Wario, the plan goes like this. Everyone will see us in the bunker, right?
If we time it right, no one will see us go in. When we are noticed, and they ask,
we say we came about 10 minutes after they did. They must have been TOO
wrapped up in their games to even notice! Got it? Meanwhile, Kammy...um...I
mean you know who does the work in the shed. That's why we sent the
message. This way, it COULDN'T have been US who did it, right?? Because
we really didn't!! We HIRED someone!! Gah ha hah! OK, Wario, let's pull
this off.
*Wario and Bowser ease the door open slowly, slowly, and slip inside. Everyone's backs are turned to the simulators – even Lakitu's. There are two blank computers near the door, so they quickly sit down at those and turn them on. No one notices, and soon they are in the middle of a very involving race...*
Lakitu: Oh, hey, you guys! You figure this out yet?
Bowser: 'Course! You know, we did get here only about 10 minutes after you did. You
must not have noticed...
Lakitu: You're right! I'm really sorry, you guys...well, have fun with the simulators!
They're really great! Never EVEN noticed you guys...really sorry...
*Lakitu turns back around*
*Wario glances at Bowser for a moment with a sly look on his face*
*Meanwhile, outside...*
*Yoshi is getting frightened. He decides to enter the dark, deserted shed to see what is going on in there*
Yoshi: I wonder what they were doing – looked like they were talking...but all I heard
was the words "hired someone." I wonder what they were talking about...well,
here goes... *Pushes open the creaking door. Suddenly stops, in horror, at the
sight. Then is hit over the head by something and everything goes black*
*The minutes pass. Now there is only a half hour before the race. Yoshi wakes up, groaning. He is dizzy – sitting at the seat of one of the simulators in the room*
Yoshi: Huh? Hey! W-why am I here?!
Mario: Probably because we're training for the race in a half-hour!
Yoshi: No! Everyone stop!!
*Yoshi stands up on his chair and states*
Yoshi: Someone messed with Mario's kart!! I SAW it! They were in the shed and then
they laughed and...
Lakitu: Yoshi! Yoshi! Calm down! NO ONE is messing with the karts. I think you
must have had a nightmare!
Yoshi: No! It's real! I swear, I saw it!!
Lakitu: Yoshi, please calm down and stop making a scene! It's OK, everyone, keep
going with the training...OK Yoshi. Then tell me...how did you get here?
Yoshi: Uh, I...er, don't know.
Lakitu: Then there you go! You've been here the whole TIME! It was just a dream.
Yoshi: Yeah, maybe you're right. *Shudders*
*Bowser glances at Wario slyly for just a moment*
Toad: Yes! I won! I won!
Lakitu: *Goes over to watch* GREAT job, Toad! Keep up that good racing!
*Outside, the infamous sinister Kammy Koopa is soaring away into the darkness*
*More minutes pass...*
*And the racing time arrives!!*
*The group, led by Lakitu, heads to the shed to get the karts*
*All of them, still unsure, checks their karts*
*Yoshi finds that most of them are OK – even Mario's appears to be fine*
Yoshi: Gee, I'm really sorry you guys...I guess I'm sort of weird right when I wake up...
DK: Yoshi, it's fine. All of us do that! Once I had a dream that I had the world's
biggest banana and I was eating it and I woke up and I got really disappointed...
Peach: Yeah, Yoshi, it's OK.
Yoshi: Well...thanks you guys.
Luigi: Sure. Let's get going!
*The group revs up the engines*
Wario: OK!!
DK: You guys ready?
Bowser: Let's blow this place!
*They gun the engines and zoom out of the shed*
*Mario's suddenly rumbles, and everyone looks at it. Then the rumbling stops*
*Everyone but Bowser and Wario just stops and stares at the kart*
Yoshi: Uh, I'm sure it's nothing, you guys. Let's go!
*They snap out of it, and drive to the starting line in a side road that leads to the main highway. Even early in the morning, it is filled with cars and trucks*
Lakitu: You guys ready?! Remember, it's always the best to get a good start on your
first race!! OK! Get READY!!!
*Mario remembers the Snifit back in the forest clearing and his words echo around Mario's mind...*
*"You must turn back! Turn back now, before you find out what it is I am warning you of!!!" The group's engines roar*
Lakitu: 3!!!
*"Evil, evil plots – dark matters are at work, here!"*
Lakitu: 2!!!
*"The longer you stay, the more you endanger your life and others!!"*
Lakitu: 1!!!
*"And you MUST NOT PARTICIPATE IN THE RACE!!!"*
Lakitu: *With a wild-eyed expression* GO!!!!!!!!
*Mario hesitates for a second, then grits his teeth and slams on the gas*
*The kart shoots forward, but then makes a grinding noise, spins backward, and with a bright flash and a loud sharp BANG, explodes in a fiery shockwave*
*The crowd gasps in anticipation. Everyone immediately stops their karts and spins around to see what happened*
*All that remains is a flaming pile of disintegrated wreckage*
*Everyone is silent, their breath held. But no one emerges. Suddenly, an object floats down from the sky and lands next to the wreckage*
*The scorched remains of Mario's hat...*
TO BE CONTINUED...
EPISODE IV
"THE PLOT"
*Luigi accidentally slips and presses the green button. The red button would have shot a laser at the Para-Koopa and killed it. But the GREEN button only enhances its cell structure and makes it larger. Its body is saturated green and instantly begins to grow.*
*Suddenly, the Para-Koopa's head pokes through the seventh floor, directly under DK*
DK: Whooaaaaaa!!!!
*DK and the head rise and smash through the eighth floor. Now the shell rises through the seventh floor, with a battered Mario hanging on*
*DK crashes through the ninth floor, while Mario busts through the eighth. Suddenly, it all stops. The Koopa is as tall as the castle itself*
Gigantic Para-Koopa: DUH HUH HUH HUH!!!
Peach: Oooohhhhhhh boy...
*The Para-Koopa snatches Mario from his shell and throws him over 250 feet in the air*
*Mario streaks toward the ground at an unimaginable speed*
Mario: AAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!
Peach: NO!!! NO!!! MARIO!!!!!
*And suddenly, everything goes black*
*Or rather – white...*
*Mario lifts his head. He is on the floor of the Nimbus Land bus, which just saved him from falling nine stories to the ground below*
Lakitu: You all right there, Mario?
Mario: Uhh...uh, yeah...
Lakitu: Whoa!... What is that?!
Gigantic Para-Koopa: YOUS NOT LEAVE!! *Jumps up in the air and smashes down
with incredible force – the ground cracks beneath him*
*Torte and Yoshi at ground level trip and fall*
*Bowser's airship flies over suddenly. Bowser looks over the edge, horrified, at what remains of his castle below*
Bowser: NO!!! My castle!!! Koopa! Crush those fools!
Gigantic Para-Koopa: YES, SUH.
*The Koopa suddenly stumbles backwards smashes his massive weight into a pillar. The pillar crumbles, and the structural integrity can hold the level no longer – the north wall tumbles into the canyon.*
*DK is shaken off the Koopa's head, and the bus catches him as well*
*The Valley of Bowser is directly behind the castle, its towering cliffs thriatening to drag the castle down into its depths*
Mario: Hey, BOWSER!! What do you think you're doing?! You'll kill everyone!
Bowser: Well, I...uh...hmm...isn't that the point?!
Mario: Do you want to lose everything? Including your CASTLE??
Bowser: Uh, I...err...no, I suppose not...
Mario: Then call off your giant Koopa!
Bowser (thinking): I can't actually agree with MARIO!
Bowser: Koopa! CRUSH THEM!!
*The Koopa advances forward, steps into another floor of the castle by accident, trips, and falls backward into the endless valley, never to be seen again.*
Bowser: NO!!!
Lakitu: If you don't come clean right NOW, you will be officially disqualified from the
Flower Cup, which we race for tomorrow!! NOW!!
*A humiliated Bowser approaches, and they make amends...*
*But one person is off by himself*
DK: Hey, Luigi? It's ok...
Luigi: Oh, geez. What did I do? I actually let Wario push me around. How could I do
that? Oh, man. I...I'm really sorry, guys...
Toad: That's all right, Luigi. It really wasn't even your fault – you were stuck! It turned
out all right, anyway...wait, WARIO was behind all of this?!
*Everyone is instantly silenced as a defiant voice approaches Bowser*
Torte: BOWSEHR!! Turn over Spot NOW!!
Peaxh: *Turns toward Mario* What?? Do you know what he's talking about??
Mario: All I know is that Bowser was holding some cat of Torte's for ransom...
Peach: Oh...that's pretty weird...
Bowser: Uh...I...don't have your...cat.
Torte: Then what do you keep holdeeng up and showeeng me to make me do what you
want every time I deecide to do something else?!
Luigi: I know! STUFFED CATS!! I saw his secret room! He's got hundreds! And
there was a real cat with them!
*Bowser looks stunned for a moment, but attempts to conceal it from everyone else. He then glares menacingly at Luigi*
Torte: Oh is zees ssssoooo!!
Bowser: Hmph!
Lakitu: TALK, Bowser! Or you're gone!
Bowser: Hmm...
Bowser (Thinking): No! My reputation! I CAN'T agree with them! But...a trophy and
8,000 coins at stake – hmm...I don't have any choice...I WON'T be
humiliated in front of Mario! Hmm...I know!!
Lakitu: Well?? Speak up!!
Bowser: Sure, I did it! But MARIO stole the cat in the first place! He said if I didn't do
this, he'd...err...hurt me...really...uh...badly...! Isn't that RIGHT, Mario??
*Bowser holds up a fist menacingly as if to say, "Say yes or I'll punch your
lights out!"*
Mario: No, I DIDN'T say that! Don't you threaten me!
Torte: So turn heem ovehr! NOW!!!
Bowser: I said I don't have him!!
DK: Yes, you do! We just proved that!
Bowser: I let him GO!! Gah ha hah! He's GONE!
Peach: Oh, Bowser!! How could you do such a terrible thing?!
Yoshi: Geez, Bowser! I say you go with Torte right NOW and go help him find him!!
Luigi: Yeah!
Toad: You did it. You should help him out!!
Bowser: I refuse.
Yoshi: What? You have to!
Bowser: I'm not going. HE lost the cat, HE can find it easily enough.
DK: Geez, Bowser. You're a real jerk.
Yoshi: Yeah, I know. Let's get out of here.
*Everyone leaves and Bowser trudges inside, chuckling*
Torte: Spot...
*Torte races off, in dispair*
*Mario, Luigi, Peach, Yoshi, Toad, and DK return a few hours later, with ice-cream sundaes from the resort kitchen. Torte hasn't returned*
Luigi: Mmm...
Yoshi: Yeah, this is really good...
*Luigi stops and his eyebrows crease. He is suddenly serious*
Luigi: The FLOWER CUP?! We're racing for the FLOWER CUP?!
DK: Luigi, Lakitu said that about two hours ago. That JUST hit you??
Mario: It just took awhile to sink into his pitiful brain!
Luigi: HEY! At least my brain is larger than my stomach!!
Mario: Oh yeah? Well at least wear your own clothes for once!!
Luigi: I do! But I have enough sense not to lose my hat!
Mario: Well, at least I'm not paranoid about waking up at the crack of dawn!
Luigi: Yeah? But at least I don't have a crush on Pe...
Mario: OKAY!! That's the end of that.
Peach: Hmm?! Yes?? Continue your most interesting sentence there, Luigi!
Mario: HEY...!
Peach: Ah...hmm...I'll try to ignore that...
*Everyone snorts with laughter and heads back to the resort for a good night's sleep*
*Wario wakes in the night and walks through the hall, prying at every door, but they are all locked tightly and securely*
Wario: Rrgh...the only one who understands me around here is Bowser. I'll have to talk
to him more...maybe I'll be able to get some money out of him!
*Wario wanders away muttering to himself about how his profit will greatly increase soon and how he'll be rich and rule over everything*
Wario: Gya ha hah!
*Wario can't sleep, but can't see in the darkness even though there is a large, curving glass window on the outer edge of the hallway that looks out to the sea. He trips over the top stair and tumbles down, lands at the bottom and slams into Bowser's door. He is rendered unconcious*
*Bowser, grumbling, whaps the door open and sees Wario. He takes him into his room, and wakes him up*
*They talk, and form plans. Several unseen evil activities take place...*
*And dawn rises over the water!*
Wario: Uh oh... *Hurries back to his room*
*His door slams, waking Luigi because he is such a light sleeper*
Luigi: Hmm...I wonder what that was...? Well, I might as well get up.
*Luigi stands and stretches, and goes about making breakfast, humming his favorite tune. He grabs an egg from the carton they brought, tosses it over his head behind him, holds a frying pan behind him, and turns it sideways so the left edge is facing up*
*He then tosses the frying pan upward, and the edge smacks the egg in midair. He whirls around, and sees three splotches of raw egg come flying down with two shell pieces and the frying pan*
*At this point, Mario wakes and comes over to the kitchen to watch*
*Luigi snatches the frying pan out of the air, and smacks the shells over the counter into the garbage bin, twirls it in his hand, and tosses it onto his head. He dodges left, right, and left again and catches all three blobs of egg, perfectly, dead center*
*As Mario approaches, he trips over a shoe left lying on the carpet and smacks into Luigi's leg. The eggs splatter onto the floor*
Mario: Ow...
Luigi: You idiot.
*They make toast instead. At 9:00, there is a knock on the door*
Yoshi: Hey, you guys! The first race of the flower cup is today! Guess where it is?!
Mario: Oh, yeah, I'll bet it's Luigiisthebest Stadium or something, isn't it? *Rolls eyes*
Yoshi: Naw, it's Toad's Turnpike! You know that old abandoned freeway? Well,
Lakitu reopened it and now people can drive on it! So, when we race this one,
we'd better watch out for cars!
Mario: TOAD'S TURNPIKE?! Gya ha ha hah ha hah hah hah!!! AH HA HA HAH!!
Yoshi: I know...I don't get this one either...Toad wasn't really ever a hero or anything,
but I guess he's got some fans out there. Maybe they were just running out of
name ideas or something...
Mario: Hee hee hee! Oh, that's the best one I've heard all day! Toad's Turnpike!
Yoshi: Well, ANYWAY...the race is in two hours, so you'd better be ready!
Luigi: Right. Thanks, Yoshi! Say, what's wrong with Luigiisthebest Stadium?!
Mario: Luigi, I've got a small piece of advice.
Luigi: Yes?
Mario: Shut.
Luigi: Yeah? What else?
Mario: Up.
Luigi: Ah...hmm...
*The first hour passes, and they are becoming bored out of their skulls*
Mario: Hey, Luigi?
Luigi: Eh?
Mario: We need to do something.
Luigi: Like what?
Mario: I dunno...
*They sit staring at each other*
*Ten more minutes pass*
Mario: Hey, Luigi?
Luigi: Eh?
Mario: We REALLY need to do something.
Luigi: Well, uh...let's get Yoshi. He always seems to be able to figure these things out...
Mario: Good idea.
*They go and get Yoshi*
Mario: Hey Yoshi?
Yoshi: What?
Luigi: We need to do something.
Yoshi: Like what?
Mario: Well, we were sort of hoping you might be able to think of something...
Yoshi: What do you think, Luigi?
Luigi: Maybe some kind of game?
Yoshi: Like a board game? No way!
Luigi: No, like volleyball!
Mario: Come on, we just played that like a week ago.
Luigi: We could eat...
Yoshi: We just did!
Luigi: Oh, yeah...hmm...
Mario: Well?
Luigi: Ummm, baseball?
Yoshi: We don't have a bat!
Luigi: Geez! Umm, hide and go seek?
Mario: *Looks at Yoshi* I guess I'm fine with that. Oh, WAIT! No, no, I'm NOT fine
with that! We just had this conversation a couple of days ago and when we
played it, well, look where it lead!
Yoshi: Good point, good point...well, in that case...umm...let's ask DK.
Luigi: Aww, we were hoping we wouldn't have to go to a bunch of different people to
find out something to do...
Yoshi: Well, that's no problem! Don't worry about that.
Mario: Why?
Yoshi: 'Cause DK's a gorilla! *Starts cackling uproariously*
Luigi: I...uh...I don't get it...
Mario: Luigi.
Luigi: Yes?
Mario: My advice still stands.
Luigi: Ah...hmm...
Yoshi: Well, let's go ask DK anyway.
*They head over to DK's*
Luigi: Hey DK?
DK: What?
Yoshi: We need to do something.
DK: Like what?
*Luigi and Yoshi look at each other in exasperation*
Mario: Never mind...
DK: Oh, did you want me to come up with something?
Luigi: YES!
DK: Oh, OK. How about, uh...hmm...let me think...
Yoshi: *Sighs*
DK: We could eat. Maybe play a board game? What about volleyball? Baseball?
Luigi: GYAAAHHHH!!!!!
Yoshi: Oh, well...it's time for the race anyway...
Mario: Well, that was pointless...
Yoshi: Well, anyways, keep in mind that this is gonna be the hardest race we've ever
raced before! This is the fifth of about sixteen races before the final award, the
trophy and the coins!
DK: What is this, a pep talk? Let's get out of here!
Toad: DK?
DK: What?
Toad: I have a special request.
DK: What is it?
Toad: Should you happen to win the Flower Cup...
DK: Yes??
Toad: PLEASE do not do your victory dance. You will find that it disgusts me greatly.
DK: Hmm...I'll think about it...
*The group leaves for the track, followed by a surreptitious-looking Wario and Bowser, in the middle of rapt conversation*
Bowser: So. Did you do it?
Wario: What? You doubt me? I'm the best person around for this type of HIGH
PAYING job. I'm the best at a lot of HIGH PAYING jobs.
Bowser: I see! I'll be interested to see when you find one!
*Several choice words are presently edited out of Wario's speech to keep the rating at G*
Bowser: Hm?? What was that you said??
Wario: What? I said...I...uh, think you're the best guy around...
Bowser: Ah...hmm.
*As the group walks down the trail to get their karts, a Snifit leaps into their path*
Snifit: Mario! There is something you must know!
Mario: Eh? What?
Snifit: Come here, sir.
*The Snifit leaps into the trees*
Mario: You guys? Go ahead and keep going – I'll catch up!
Peach: Are you sure?? *Looks nervously at the Snifit*
Mario: Sure. Just go ahead!
*The group continues on*
Mario: OK, so what is it?
Snifit: Mr. Mario, sir, you must not show at the race!
Mario: Huh? Why?
Snifit: Danger, sir! Terrible, terrible danger!
Mario: *Becomes concerned* What sort of danger?!
Snifit: Awful, terrible danger, sir! Please, you musn't go!
Mario: Well, if there's danger, I'll go help whoever's in trouble!
Snifit: Ah, so valiant, sir! You have quite a following, you know, among many of us...
What?! No! YOU, sir, are the one in current danger! And you MUST NOT
PARTICIPATE IN THE RACE!!
Mario: WHY?? What is this awful danger?
Snifit: Evil, evil plots – dark matters are at work, here. The farther you go down that
path, the worse your situation becomes!! You must turn back! Turn back now,
before you find out what it is I am warning you of! You must go back, gather
your things, and LEAVE THE RESORT as quickly as possible! Go, Mario sir!!
The longer you stay, the more you endanger your life and others! This resort is
no longer SAFE!!! You are dealing with dark, dark secrets. GO!!!
*The Snifit disappears into the darkness*
Mario: Wait! What is it?! What is the danger?!
*Silence*
Mario: WAIT!!! I HAVE TO KNOW!!!
*Silence*
Mario: THIS IS IMPORTANT!!!!
*Silence*
*Far up the trail, the group continues on*
Peach: Where's Mario?? I'm getting worried about him.
Yoshi: I wonder where he went...
Luigi: You don't think he was kidnapped again, do you??
DK: Naw, and he'd probably get out of it, anyway.
Peach: I hope he's okay...
Yoshi: Me too.
*They continue on, and reach the area where Lakitu waits with the bus and their karts*
Lakitu: Hey, guys! Where'd Mario head off to?
Yoshi: We don't know, but he'll probably end up there before us anyway.
Lakitu: Hey! Aren't Wario and Bowser missing, too??
Luigi: Yeah...I guess they are...
DK: It's no wonder. No one ever notices them...
Peach: They better not have something to do with wherever Mario is.
Lakitu: I hope you're right.
*They get in the bus and it lifts off slowly into the clouds*
*And where are Bowser and Wario?*
*They are stumbling through the underbrush, hunting for Mario*
Wario: Blasted Mario! This is his fault!!
Bowser: I called you know who – he's got it all set up.
Wario: Perfect! Hey Bowser?
Bowser: What?
Wario: No one HEARD those plans, right...?
Bowser: I don't think so...
Wario: If anyone did, the plan's history!
Bowser: I...well...hmm...
Wario: What?? What is it?!
Bowser: What if they all left?
Wario: Well, then we can't go through with the plan! If we can't get Mario there, we
can't do it! And we have to tell...
Bowser: SSHH!!! Anyone could be listening.
Wario: And we have to tell you know who before Mario gets there!
Bowser: Right. So we have to find him.
Wario: What if they all left?
Bowser: Shut up. I just said that!
Wario: I never really wanted to do this, you know. You forced me to do it!
Bowser: I did not.
Wario: You did! You made it sound like I could earn a lot of coins!
Bowser: Well, I suppose that would force you to...
Wario: SSHH!!! You hear that?
Bowser: *Strains to hear*
*Mario is walking along the path, saying:*
Mario: NOW what'll I do?? Danger. Hmm... gotta find out what. Maybe I could find
another way there...the bus is gone...
*Mario heads back to the resort*
*Bowser and Wario look at each other evilly*
*Meanwhile, in the bus, Luigi has fallen asleep. The others are extremely bored, another old science fiction movie is playing. Everyone is silent, tired and bored. Except Peach*
Peach: Oh, I'm getting really worried about Mario!
Yoshi: For the last time, he's FINE! Nothing is wrong with him!
Peach: But you don't know that!
DK: Peach, he's probably already there anyway. Don't WORRY!
Peach: But I do, and I think he's in trouble.
Toad: Well, please stop thinking that. We've got about an hour before sundown and
we'll be there long after dark, so we might as well just sleep now. We won't be
able to at all when we get there.
Yoshi: That sounds good to me... *Yawns* I dunno about you guys, but I'm ready to go
to sleep about now...
DK: Me too. 'Night, you guys. *Instantly falls asleep*
Toad: I've always wondered how he does that...
*At the resort, Mario enters the lobby and thinks for a moment*
Mario: Let's see...the entire resort is on an island. I can't go over it – the bus is gone. I
can't go on it, 'cause I'd be late. What if I went under it...?
*Mario talks to the desk clerk*
Mario: Excuse me, ma'am, but can you tell me if you have any information about renting
equipment for underwater exploration, and that sort of thing?
Clerk: Of course sir......sir? You may rent the Blue Marine, a state-of- the-art, high-tech
mini-sub with lots of extra features for 100 coins per use, or you can rent our
diving special, with all the swimming gear you'll need and extra air supplies.
This includes a special headlamp accessory, all for 50 coins per use. To rent these
and other special offers, visit our tours section down the hall that way. *Points*
Mario: Thank you! *Walks down the hall*
*Mario reaches the tours area and talks to the main manager*
Mario: Can I have a look at your latest offers?
Manager: Of COURSE, sir. *Shows the Blue Marine, the diving set, and several others*
Mario: HEY! *Points to the Blue Marine* I think I used that when I was in Sarassa
Land! How did you get that??
Manager: We constructed it as a replica of the ones used 20 years ago, just with new
features. We liked the older style...
Mario: Well anyway, I'd like to rent the Blue Marine for one usage.
Manager: All right sir, that will be 100 coins. Have an enjoyable trip.
*Mario seats himself in the mini-sub and it is placed on a boat. The boat sails out to sea, and the sub is pushed over into the water*
Mario: All right! Just like my old one. Okay, time to catch up with everyone else!
*The sub zooms into the darkness*
*It is now 1:15 in the morning. Everyone but Peach is asleep, and the bus is coming in for a quiet landing in the desert. The crickets chirp softly, and bats fly overhead*
Peach: Hey everyone! *Peach whispers* We're here!
DK: Oooohhhhhh...I'm tired. *Gets up slowly*
*Everyone finally stands up and stretches on the rocky ground*
Lakitu: Everyone up? OK, our first race of the Grand Prix season! I'm sure you're all
so pumped up and excited!
*Lakitu looks, grinning, at the glum faces that surround him*
Lakitu: Come on now, wake up, you guys! We race at dawn. You know the rules, right?
The grand prix rules are a little different. The race is the same, but if you get
first place, you get 9 of what we call "placement points." If you get second
place, you get 6 points, third place you get 3 points, fourth place is one point,
and fifth and below don't count for any points. At the end of all the four races of
the grand prix, the racer with the most points will win the prized Flower Cup!
You got all that? OK, now we're going to need a volunteer to tell Mario, Wario,
and Bowser this when they get here.
Luigi: I guess I'll do it.
Lakitu: All right, Luigi. Thank you. Oh, yes...in the area where you will be training
before the race, we will have a scoreboard showing everyone's current amount
of points. We'll have this set up somewhere every race. Another thing. In
every Grand Prix race we do, there will always be one special item box hidden
somewhere. In this box, you will find a map for the race – this will show all of
the special rules, secret entrances and shortcuts in the area. Good luck! Our
training building is right this way, come along...
*Lakitu guides them into a bunker-like building at the side of the freeway*
Toad: Why are we racing at dawn?
Lakitu: Since I reopened the freeway, a lot of people have been driving on it. If we race
at dawn, not as many people will be here.
Toad: Oh, OK. Why didn't you just cancel traffic?
Lakitu: Well, I figured SOME cars might make this interesting.
DK: Hey, cool! Computers!
*DK runs in the building and sits down in front of one of the monitors*
DK: So where's the Start button? How do I play? *Starts pressing random buttons*
Lakitu: DK!!! Get AWAY FROM THAT!!!
DK: Um, OK.
Lakitu: You just deleted a program we had to buy for 20,000 coins just yesterday. We
haven't even used it yet. You're lucky you didn't have to pay for it! Our funds
will take care of it, don't worry...
DK: Oh...uh, sorry about that...
Lakitu: No, no, it's fine. Just don't do it again. OK everyone, this is our simulator
room. These computers will show you a fake race, and you can control your
character using the keyboard. The buttons you'll use are, A, B, Z, L, R,
Start...you get the idea. Anyway, give it your best shot, and try to improve on
your old methods! These things are really fun, I get addicted after awhile.
Luigi: All, right! This is great!
*Suddenly, a rumbling stops all of them. It appears to be coming through the ground...*
Toad: Hey, w...what is that??
Yoshi: I don't know...this is really weird...an earthquake maybe? Naw...
*Everyone stares at the floor*
*Suddenly, with a gigantic spray of water, the Blue Marine appears, with drills spinning on the top, making a high-pitched whine*
DK: GGYYYAAAHHHHH!!!!!!
*Mario steps out, dripping wet*
Mario: Hey, you guys!
Luigi: OK, Mario, the Grand Prix rules are a little bit different. See, there are these
things called "placement points." When you get...
Latiku: Luigi, this is not the time. Are you all right, Mario?
Mario: Yeah, sure! The bus was already gone, and I certainly couldn't walk or rent a
plane, so I just got a sub instead.
Peach: OH MARIO!! I'm so glad you're OK...! *Runs over and hugs him*
Mario: ...Peach......
*Meanwhile, at the resort*
Bowser: I don't believe this...where could he have gone so quickly??
Wario: Let's ask the desk clerk.
Bowser: Good idea. If he's here, the clerk will know.
*They walk into the lobby*
Wario: Hey! Where's Mario? *Wario asks very rudely, and then burps*
Clerk: Well, SIR, maybe you should go look for him OUTSIDE!
Wario: Ah, stuff it. *Snatches the book from behind the counter* Let's
see...Mario...Mario...nope, not here. *Throws the book at the clerk* Here you
go. Let's get outta here, Bowser.
*The two leave the resort*
Bowser: Er...nicely done...
Wario: Thank you. Well anyways, maybe he's already there?
Bowser: I'll bet you're right. But that's very very bad...let's go to the mail service. We
need to tell you know who before the race starts. And we need to get there
ourselves! Let's go.
*They go to the mail service and hire a para-koopa to deliver the message to the mystery person. The para-koopa flies out the window into the darkness*
Wario: Here ya go, 15 coins. *Digs them out of his pocket and hands them over*
*They leave the mail service*
Bowser: Let me guess...
Wario: Yeah?
Bowser: They were counterfeit?
Wario: Of course! You think I'm gonna waste my profits on a dumb mail service?!
Bowser: I should have known. Let's go to the ferry service. We've got to get there
really soon...the race starts at dawn.
Wario: OK, let's go.
*The two hire the ferry and Wario pays more counterfeit coins. Bowser's and Wario's plan is now in action...*
*At the training facility...*
Luigi: All right, take THIS!! *Slams his finger down on R*
Luigi: Wait a minute, that was drift turn! Oh nnnoooo!!!! *Tumbles into the water*
Mario: These simulator thingies are really cool...I've gotta get one!
*They play with the simulators for another hour*
Yoshi: Lakitu, I've gotta use the restroom. Can I go for a minute?
Lakitu: Sure, just come right back!
Yoshi: OK.
*Yoshi leaves the room and walks down the sandy road to the restroom*
*Just before he enters, he notices a para-koopa flying in the distance, carrying a message*
Yoshi: Mail call? Out here? Yeah right. *Yoshi enters the restroom*
*Yoshi suddenly comes back out again, concerned*
Yoshi: Wait a minute...where is that going?! That's the shed where our karts are stored!!
*Yoshi starts walking in that direction*
Yoshi: There must be someone in there, to take that message! That can only mean
someone could be sabotaging the karts!! And that most likely would
mean...someone's got it in for Mario!!! *Breaks into a full run to the dark shed*
*Wario and Bowser are now arriving at the edge of the desert*
Bowser: THANK you, for your most wonderful ride!
Driver: Uh, you're welcome, sir...
*The two jump off and start running for the bunker in the far distance. They don't see Yoshi just reaching the edge of the shed*
*Yoshi suddenly stops*
Yoshi: Wait a sec. The only person who would do that would be Bowser, and probably
Wario. But if they're in there, then...oh wait, no...I see them now, way over by
the bunker...OK then, they can't be behind this. Then who is...?
*By the bunker*
Bowser: See, Wario, the plan goes like this. Everyone will see us in the bunker, right?
If we time it right, no one will see us go in. When we are noticed, and they ask,
we say we came about 10 minutes after they did. They must have been TOO
wrapped up in their games to even notice! Got it? Meanwhile, Kammy...um...I
mean you know who does the work in the shed. That's why we sent the
message. This way, it COULDN'T have been US who did it, right?? Because
we really didn't!! We HIRED someone!! Gah ha hah! OK, Wario, let's pull
this off.
*Wario and Bowser ease the door open slowly, slowly, and slip inside. Everyone's backs are turned to the simulators – even Lakitu's. There are two blank computers near the door, so they quickly sit down at those and turn them on. No one notices, and soon they are in the middle of a very involving race...*
Lakitu: Oh, hey, you guys! You figure this out yet?
Bowser: 'Course! You know, we did get here only about 10 minutes after you did. You
must not have noticed...
Lakitu: You're right! I'm really sorry, you guys...well, have fun with the simulators!
They're really great! Never EVEN noticed you guys...really sorry...
*Lakitu turns back around*
*Wario glances at Bowser for a moment with a sly look on his face*
*Meanwhile, outside...*
*Yoshi is getting frightened. He decides to enter the dark, deserted shed to see what is going on in there*
Yoshi: I wonder what they were doing – looked like they were talking...but all I heard
was the words "hired someone." I wonder what they were talking about...well,
here goes... *Pushes open the creaking door. Suddenly stops, in horror, at the
sight. Then is hit over the head by something and everything goes black*
*The minutes pass. Now there is only a half hour before the race. Yoshi wakes up, groaning. He is dizzy – sitting at the seat of one of the simulators in the room*
Yoshi: Huh? Hey! W-why am I here?!
Mario: Probably because we're training for the race in a half-hour!
Yoshi: No! Everyone stop!!
*Yoshi stands up on his chair and states*
Yoshi: Someone messed with Mario's kart!! I SAW it! They were in the shed and then
they laughed and...
Lakitu: Yoshi! Yoshi! Calm down! NO ONE is messing with the karts. I think you
must have had a nightmare!
Yoshi: No! It's real! I swear, I saw it!!
Lakitu: Yoshi, please calm down and stop making a scene! It's OK, everyone, keep
going with the training...OK Yoshi. Then tell me...how did you get here?
Yoshi: Uh, I...er, don't know.
Lakitu: Then there you go! You've been here the whole TIME! It was just a dream.
Yoshi: Yeah, maybe you're right. *Shudders*
*Bowser glances at Wario slyly for just a moment*
Toad: Yes! I won! I won!
Lakitu: *Goes over to watch* GREAT job, Toad! Keep up that good racing!
*Outside, the infamous sinister Kammy Koopa is soaring away into the darkness*
*More minutes pass...*
*And the racing time arrives!!*
*The group, led by Lakitu, heads to the shed to get the karts*
*All of them, still unsure, checks their karts*
*Yoshi finds that most of them are OK – even Mario's appears to be fine*
Yoshi: Gee, I'm really sorry you guys...I guess I'm sort of weird right when I wake up...
DK: Yoshi, it's fine. All of us do that! Once I had a dream that I had the world's
biggest banana and I was eating it and I woke up and I got really disappointed...
Peach: Yeah, Yoshi, it's OK.
Yoshi: Well...thanks you guys.
Luigi: Sure. Let's get going!
*The group revs up the engines*
Wario: OK!!
DK: You guys ready?
Bowser: Let's blow this place!
*They gun the engines and zoom out of the shed*
*Mario's suddenly rumbles, and everyone looks at it. Then the rumbling stops*
*Everyone but Bowser and Wario just stops and stares at the kart*
Yoshi: Uh, I'm sure it's nothing, you guys. Let's go!
*They snap out of it, and drive to the starting line in a side road that leads to the main highway. Even early in the morning, it is filled with cars and trucks*
Lakitu: You guys ready?! Remember, it's always the best to get a good start on your
first race!! OK! Get READY!!!
*Mario remembers the Snifit back in the forest clearing and his words echo around Mario's mind...*
*"You must turn back! Turn back now, before you find out what it is I am warning you of!!!" The group's engines roar*
Lakitu: 3!!!
*"Evil, evil plots – dark matters are at work, here!"*
Lakitu: 2!!!
*"The longer you stay, the more you endanger your life and others!!"*
Lakitu: 1!!!
*"And you MUST NOT PARTICIPATE IN THE RACE!!!"*
Lakitu: *With a wild-eyed expression* GO!!!!!!!!
*Mario hesitates for a second, then grits his teeth and slams on the gas*
*The kart shoots forward, but then makes a grinding noise, spins backward, and with a bright flash and a loud sharp BANG, explodes in a fiery shockwave*
*The crowd gasps in anticipation. Everyone immediately stops their karts and spins around to see what happened*
*All that remains is a flaming pile of disintegrated wreckage*
*Everyone is silent, their breath held. But no one emerges. Suddenly, an object floats down from the sky and lands next to the wreckage*
*The scorched remains of Mario's hat...*
TO BE CONTINUED...