Copyright © 2002 by Syvia & Demon Hunter Anamae. All Rights Reserved.
Disclaimer: The few things we own are listed here; ourselves and the Narrator, and Damion, the vampire formerly known as Ah-choo. Bucky the former chipmunk was inspired by the squirrel from The Emperor's New Groove. Phoebe, the head warden, and Marie, the Sarafan Lord's daughter, belong to DHA. Touching without permission will lead to legal action. Have a nice day. :-D
Authors' Notes:
Now dear readers, we are nearing the end of this tale. And what is an end without something dramatic happening to the characters, both good and evil? That's right, it makes for a boring story. And we (being the narrator and Anamae, Syvia and Bucky) would not wish to disapoint all of you all by giving a horrible ending. That would just be wrong. So instead of a horribly ending, we're going for a completely terrible ending, the type that will make you all very, very angry and wonder why did you bother to put up with us all the way to this point!
Syvia- Hey, it's not the ending ending!
Anamae- Yeah, just the precursor to the ending! And it's not all that horrible.
Syvia- For us anyway... but before we go into depth on how horrible the ending is for someone else, we'll get to the reviews. Rose Dincht- No other word? Awww, it's not hilarious or amusing or side-splitting or,
Anamae- Stop showing off your extensive vocabulary. Angel- *gets a wet GLOMP! from Syvia* *lol* Well, not exactly, but one of the three will be finding themselves in the water before long. Green stuff? *looks around* Ew...
Syvia- I second that. Mourning- *lol* She liked that quote so much that she used it for her sig line for a while. *pats Anamae on the shoulder* She wrote it herself, you know.
Anamae- *bows* No problem, we'll save you the King Willy piece. Discordia- *smiles* Indeed- there must always be Moebius torture. Thanks for reviewing. :-)
Syvia- Cat of Fluff- It was so nice of him to volunteer... without saying he'd do it, offering to play or seeming enthusiastic at all... :-D Thanks for the review!
Anamae- Who knew that Moebius could play baseball so well? *shrugs* Fallen Templar- Thank you very much!
Syvia- Crown of Rust- Thanks for the review, hon. ^_^ Here's the next chapter.
Anamae- Blood of Angels- Thanks, and we'll keep that in mind....
Syvia- Ratface- Thank you! I have two reasons to take credit for those- one; because I wrote them. Two; because I don't want Anamae to do it before me, and before we get to it- the one in this chapter is also-
Anamae- Mine!
Syvia- Is not!
Anamae- I called it. *raspberry*
Syvia- *suddenly levels a bazooka at Anamae's face*
Anamae- ...Okay, that was a lie.
Syvia- *lowers it* Thank you.
Anamae- *smashes a pie in Syvia's face*
Syvia- ...What was that for?
Anamae- So I could get the last laugh. *licks meringue off her fingers*
~.................................................Oops, We Did It Again.................................................~
Bucky laughed uproariously on the dry side of the broken bridge until Kain gathered him up in one hand-
Kain- And take your squirrel with you!
-and tossed him into the water.
Syvia- *Turns on her back and kicks towards the other side of the bridge* Lucky thing we can both swim, huh?
Anamae- I SO do not like the current turn of events.
Bucky- *paddling beside them* Squeak, squeakity, squeakin.
Anamae- Hey, that's right! *calls back to the vampire group* Raziel is perfectly capable of swimming as well!
The vampires still on the high and dry grinned evilly at the Soul Reaver.
Raz- *shaking his head in the negative* No! Oh-no!
But with much grinning and chortling, they pushed him into the water. Syvia and Anamae had pulled on flippers by this time and were making good progress across the pond. Bucky hitched a ride on Raz's head and they all climbed onto the sand and up the stone structure.
Syvia- Okay- I don't care what anyone says. I'm tired, I'm wet, Janos is in trouble, and I'm gonna use a plot hole.
Anamae grinned at her friend's petulant tone as she wrung out her hair. Syvia opened said hole, pulled out an odd contraption and speared the doorframe with a foot-long hook. After making certain it was secure, she took aim and shot another hook into the wall above the vampire's heads. The hook flew, trailing a thick metal cord behind it, and thunked-
Anamae- *to the Narrator* Another made-up word?
Oh shut up- high into the wall on the other side. Syvia attached the cord to the hook behind them and had Raziel pull it taut.
Syvia- *shouts* Okay guys! There's your bridge!
Vampire- What do we use to slide across the wire?
Anamae & Syvia- I don't care! *look at each other* Hey- that's the second time... Owe me a Coke! ... Damn. Are you doing that on purpo-
Raziel- SHUT UP! *both girls jump and stare at him guiltily* Find your own way over! We're going on ahead!
And they left the vampires to pull strips of clothing off various interesting places on their bodies so they wouldn't burn their hands in crossing. Kain, as was to be expected, demanded to go first. Both the girls, determined not to miss this, pulled out binoculars and gaped at the sight of Kain sliding across the rope bridge... and what a sight it was!
Anamae- *drooling* Hey! He's using his leather pants to get across!
Syvia- *dazed* He has personalized underwear?
Anamae- *squealing* I think that might be a thong!
Raziel- Excuse me! *the girls look at him* Instead of looking at Kain and seeing what type of underwear he's wearing, why don't we find a way to open this damn door?
The girls turned away from the vampires and back towards Raziel and the massive door he was pointing to. There was no way to get in, save using a battering ram. They could have used one from the plot holes, but there just wasn't enough room to actually build up speed to crash it down.
Hylden Guard- Ha ha ha. At least we got smart and figured out something like that! Now they won't get in!
Anamae- Okay, I think I know how to get in.
Raziel- Oh really?
Anamae- Follow me. We'll take the backdoor.
The Reaver, Syvia and Bucky followed the girl around to the side of the building, going beyond the vision of the Hylden guard.
Hylden Guard- Why do I have the sneaking suspicion that I'm gonna get blamed for something here?
And wouldn't you believe it, there was a backdoor into the building. The screen door was practically hanging off its hinges and the screen part was broken, but other than that it was a perfectly good door.
Raziel- And we walk through just like that?
Syvia- *grinning* Why not?
Kain- *in the middle of the 'bridge'* Hey! Wait for us!
So after the vampires had gotten across the water and Kain had shimmied back into his leather pants, they carefully opened the back door, walked through, and closed it gently behind them.
It promptly fell to the ground.
Syvia- *flipping through the BO2 strategy guide* Okay, through this corridor, there's a bridge to the gate itself. The door should open automatically. Easy as pie.
Anamae- Sounds good to me. ^_^
There were no Hylden there, oddly enough, so the large group of vampires, two humans and squirrel progressed quickly to the Dimensional gate.
The Sarafan lord was in the middle of a square walkway, taunting Janos, who was shackled hand and foot, his wings restrained by a large robe.
Sarafan Lord- I'm going to toss you into the demon dimension and then you'll see what it's like to become what I have become! *shows his face*
One of the wives screams and faints dead away while the others all shriek, say how awful he looks or that he should audition for the phantom in Phantom of the Opera. The Sarafan Lord turned to look at the new arrivals, holding the Soul Reaver in his hands.
Kain- My sword! *charges*
But because I don't like Kain's attitude very much, what do you say we pretend this happened to him? Kain charges the Sarafan Lord, Kain gets hit in the chest by the Sararfan Lord, Kain falls backwards and hits his head on the wall, Kain gets knocked out.
Everyone except the Sarafan Lord- *shaking their heads* Nahhhhh.
*groans* Well then what do you suggest we do? But then the Sarafan Lord shot a force projectile from the reaver, which knocked Kain into the wall, causing him to hit his head and fall unconscious.
Sarafan Lord- I liked it.
Vorador- *groans at this turn of events* No matter! I will save you, sire! Charge! *Vorador charges forward with his wives*
But the same thing happens again, only the Sarafan Lord uses the Soul Reaver on some of them. As blood sprayed across the chamber, hitting both Syvia and Anamae but not Bucky who was sheltering under the comatose Kain, Janos tried to get free.
Janos- Damn this duct tape that was just invented! I actually had shares in this thing too!
Sarafan Lord- Shut up! Now for your doom!
Syvia- Hey, you forgot us!
Anamae- Yeah, you can't forget us. We're the main characters in this fic!
Janos- *shakes his head* Why do I have a feeling I know what is coming now?
Syvia stepped up to the Sarafan Lord, looking up at his imposing figure and did the first thing that came to her mind. She bitch-slapped him across what was left of his cheek. Oh, you go, Syvia!
Syvia- That was for all the vampires killed before and now. *slaps him again* And for Janos. *slaps him once more* And again because I like slapping you for the hell of it!
Unfortunately the Sarafan Lord caught Syvia hand, twisted it behind her back, then brought the Soul Reaver's blade up under her chin.
Syvia- Narrator, why are you doing this?!
Sorry, Syvia, but I no longer control the fic!
Syvia- What?
Because we're in the Hylden dimension now, or the closest thing to it, I can't use my uber powers. I can only narrate now and hope something good will happen!
Sarafan Lord- So should I slit your throat or impale you?
Janos- Leave the girl alone!
Syvia- Yeah, like you can do anything here! Anamae, help!
Unfortunatly Anamae wasn't around.
Syvia- *groans* Not again.
She had gone out to get candy from the vending machines nearby, but since she didn't carry any Nosgoth coinage on her, Anamae was forced to kick down the machine with her feet, then looted it quickly, cramming the candy into her pockets and filling up her arms with it. Then she quickly sauntered back into the main chamber, saw what was happening to Syvia and Janos, and proceeded to drop all of her food.
Anamae- Oh crap.
Janos- No kidding.
C'mon Anamae, think of something daring and bold to use against the Sarafan Lord! You can do it.
Anamae- *sheepishly* I don't have the walkthrough.
...Damn you, girl. Damn you.
Anamae- Oh shut up!
Sarafan Lord- Who the hell are you talking to, the wind? Come to think of it, who was talking beforehand?
Anamae- *light bulb* I got it! Don't worry, Syvia, I'll save you!
And she proceeded to carry out her plan. Anamae charged at the Sarafan Lord, whooping loudly and insanely. She jumped kicked the Hylden Lord...and it would have worked had she been three feet closer! Anamae's sneaker did not connect with the Sarafan Lord's ugly face, but got the sword instead. The blade flew out of his grasp and Syvia, in that moment, was able to break free.
Sarafan Lord- My source of power!
Janos- Oh boy.
The Soul Reaver flew through the air, spinning end over end accompanied by mystical music by the band. And it was heading straight for Janos.
Janos- Oh boy! *cringes*
And it impaled him.
Janos- I should have stayed...in the Device. *dies dramatically*
Syvia and Anamae- *wailing* We killed Janos again!
Sarafan Lord- Yes! *does a victory dance*
Anamae- Now what happens, narrator?
===========================================
See, wasn't that a horrible ending for Janos?
Anamae- Well, he died pretty much the same way last time. Only there wasn't an expensive carpet.
Syvia- *wiping the pie off her face* We could have saved him if you hadn't tried to do that dumb jump kick.
Anamae- I thought I would have gotten it! It's not my fault that the Sarafan Lord was holding onto the sword so loosely. And you know, it would have done some good if you had tried to kick him while being held hostage.
Syvia- Kick him? Kick him?! The guy is completely covered in armour! I would have broken my foot.
Anamae- Suuuuuuuuuuuuuuure.
Bucky- Chipp squikity nub nub squawk! (Girls, you might want to stop the fight and deal with the new problem that's going to be coming in the next chapter!)
Oh yes, they should indeed because that is where everything ends!!!