Got your hopes up, didn't I? Yeah, I'm back, and unfortunately a new
chapter isn't quite yet. Had some problems recently with a bunch of strange
characters appearing throughout my stories. Hopefully resubmission will
change that...I have a lot of work to do, so just be patient! I'm going as
fast as I can on an update, 'cause it's been awhile. But, I at least have
an IDEA!!!! *Cheers erupt from crowd.*
KART CHAMPIONS MAILBAG 1
First, let me say that ANY INSULTS should not be taken to heart - this is direct from my subconcious at 3 AM. I was in a weird mood. This has absolutely nothing to do with the plot and the characters don't act right.
Xarbok: I've decided that every five episodes, I'm gonna respond to all those reviews
you nice people sent me in your spare time, with the help of several "out- of-
character characters." Yea, great huh? Kay, here goes...
*Toad shambles in lugging a sack behind him.*
Xarbok: Come on, now. Hurry up or I'll cut your pay!
*Toad gets a frightened look and throws the bag at Xarbok.*
Toad: What am I now, your slave?!
Xarbok: Uh huh. Anyways, let's see - spam, spam, spam... *Tosses over shoulder.* Ah,
here's one from some guy named "Toad." Hey Toad, hear that?
*Opens envelope.*
Xarbok: Let's see... "Your story is bad. It's really really bad. You suck. And I think
you should increase Toad's pay."
Toad: *Backs away, face turning red* I...wouldn't...write...anything...like...that...
I'VEGOTTAGOTOTHEBATHROOMBYE! *Races away.*
Xarbok: Naw, I won't cut his pay. *Ahem* Riiiiight. Finally! Some real reviews. OK,
this one's from December 17th, 2002. Quite a while ago, come to think of it -
can't really believe it's been half a year...anyways, this's from a constant
reviewer, "Luigi Mario: KOG."
*Opens envelope.*
Xarbok: *Ahem* "Cool! I'm adding this to my favorites list." Well now, that's pretty
guddurn spiffy - someone's readin all my junk!
*Toad peeks in door.*
Toad: Someone put it in their favorite's list?
Xarbok: Yea, but I don't really get his name...yo, Luigi! Get in here!
Luigi: Yeah, what?
Xarbok: We've got another one.
Luigi: Whoa...can I...er...use your computer for a sec?
Xarbok: No. You'd screw up my life.
Luigi: Ya, whatever. He said to read his story to get his name! Geez, don't you understand
ANYTHING AT ALL?!
Xarbok: Shhh! Toad might hit you with his whip!
Luigi: Uh huh. Right.
Xarbok: Well ol' clumsy YOU brought this to a screeching halt. I was on a roll!
Toad: Shut up and keep going! *Cracks whip.*
Xarbok: OW! YOU'RE supposed to be the slave!
*Gets a horrible glare from Toad.*
Xarbok: *Frightned.* OK...here's...the next one. Well, whaddya know? *Gets weird
announcer voice.* FIVE DAYS LATER...THE SECOND CHAPTER WAS
RELEASED!!!!!
Peach: Look, if you shut up, this'll go a lot faster.
Xarbok: Um, right. Well, Luigi Mario KOG's back for number two.
*Opens envelope.*
Xarbok: *Ahem.* Here goes: "Great! I bet it's Luigi this time." I'm sure you know exactly what went on on the other side of the door by now – it's been awhile...thanks by the way for staying with this story's hard times! Am I right, Luigi?!
Wario: You wrote the story, idiot! Why would you be asking HIM?!
Xarbok: 'Cause, quite frankly, he's a lot more intelligent than YOU are!
Wario: You come right here and say that to my face!!
Xarbok: I'd rather not. Anyways...more thanks to Luigi Mario KOG for also being the only reviewer of chapter one!!!
Peach: Now, now...calm down...I might have to hit you...
Xarbok: Ya, ya...right. Here's another one on Chapter 2, from "GameCubeGirl1."
Hmm, I like the name...Toad! Write that down! *Toad takes out a pen and a tablet and
scribbles furiously.*
Xarbok: Anyways, here it is: "Hey Great work so far!! ive loved it! =D, what happened
to luigi though? did bowser return him? i need to know!! update soon please!!!
^_^" Another reviewer! Prepare the super shiny award for GameCubeGirl1!
Toad: Right on it. *Starts polishing super shiny award.*
Bowser: I'm tired. I will sleep now.
Xarbok: Oooookay...anyways, on with the show. Dunno if GameCubeGirl1 has kept
reading this story, but if not, I've actually explained in Ch 3 what happened.
*Suddenly, a long red tongue shoots out of nowhere into the bag of reviews.*
DK: Yoshi, what are you doing?!
*Yoshi swallows five reviews.*
Yoshi: Hey Xarbok, you're right! They DO taste better!
Mario: Hey, those were mine!
Yoshi: Don't care. I got hungry.
Xarbok: Sure, I eat other people's reviews all the time. Here's another one, from "Luigi
and Yoshi 4ever."
Luigi and Yoshi: WHAT?!?!
*DK bursts out laughing.*
Xarbok: I love these! Here goes: "AHHH! CLIFFHANGER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11" And there it was, in all its glory. It's too bad I can't tantalize you with the next chapter, since I'm sure you've probably already read it by now...
Mario: What's the deal with that "11"?
Yoshi: I dunno, but they look tasty...
Xarbok: No! These are MINE!! *Eats review.*
Bowser: ZzzzZZZzZZzzzzz..... *snort* ....zzZZZZzZzzZZ....
Xarbok: *Swallows.* Here's another one from Luigi and Yoshi 4ever... "Ouch. that has
to hurt. Will you get to the races, like on Rainbow Road or Kalamari Desert?"
DK: *Stops laughing.*
Xarbok: Actually, I've started work on the Flower Cup in chapters 4, 5, 6, and 7. I'll
keep going from there. Probably not gonna do the Mushroom Cup - not
interesting enough. And I quite agree...death hurts.
Toad: Death hurts.
DK: Death is fun.
Luigi: Death is like a big slab of cheesecake.
Yoshi: Mmm, cheesecake.
Xarbok: ANYWAY...Another one on chapter 3 from our good buddy Luigi Mario:
KOG. Here it is: "It's great, except for one thing, Luigi would never be pushed
aroun by Wario. I mean come on! Luigi knows that Wario is always up to no
good. How do I know, look at my name, I know Luigi's pesonality." Toad!! Why aren't you writing my every word into your tablet?!
Toad: Right on it.
Xarbok: Actually, send KOG a consolation prize. Give the super shiny award to
me instead. But anyway, you're right, and I've fixed that and resubmitted it.
Yoshi: Mmm, shiny.
*Suddenly, Yoshi's tongue lashes out of nowhere and aims for the shiny award. He misses, and hits Toad instead.*
Toad: NNNOOOOOO!!!!!
*Slow motion, Toad is sucked into Yoshi's mouth and is promptly swallowed.*
Yoshi: *Gulp.* Mmm...mushrooms.
*Everyone cheers and claps.*
*An egg appears.*
Xarbok: Thank god. Here's another one on Chapter 2 from "the eternal darkness."
Peach: Ooo, spooky.
Xarbok: *Ahem.* "wow.cool.thanks 4 giving yoshi a big role in this" Well, that's nice of him! Thanks. Hey, you've got a few fans too, Yoshi.
Yoshi: I have many fans.
Xarbok: Yeah...um...ok...
Bowser: ZzzZZzz... Get on with the reviews. ...zzZZZZzzzZ
Xarbok: Right. Ah, here's Luigi and Yoshi 4ever again! Let's see what he has to say:
"Don't tell me. he's dead right?" Ha ha, or so you might think...
Mario: I'm right here, moron!
Xarbok: You shut it – this person obviously means in the story!!
Luigi: I want more fans.
Yoshi: I have more fans.
Xarbok: Oookaayy...and indeed, as I'm sure you now know, Mario is still alive...
Luigi: ...Whether we like it or not.
Mario: Shut up.
Xarbok: Well now! It's Luigi Mario: KOG AGAIN! It's great to have constant reviewers! It makes me feel happy inside.
Mario: I repeat: Shut up.
Xarbok: Ok, ok...here's his message: "Sucks to be Mario. At least I can be sure that
Mario's cart is in worse shape tham Mario.I hope." Uh, oh. Mario, you have a
worried reviewer. If Mario's kart is nonexistent, you'd better hope Mario's in better shape.
Mario: This is wonderful - send him flowers.
Xarbok: Good idea. Toad! Get right on it!
*Mario rolls his eyes - Xarbok never gets any jokes.*
Xarbok: Ah, the last one!
*Everyone gasps.*
Xarbok: *Puts on rubber gloves and gas mask and opens envelope with tongs.* Ah, u
noo defoower!
DK: What?!
Xarbok: *Takes off gas mask.* A new reviewer! This one's from Celtic Boy, in
response to my infamous "Author's Note of DOOOM!!!"
Peach: Wow. You can tell we're impressed.
Xarbok: Here goes. Drumroll, please!
*Silence.*
Xarbok: I said, DRUMROLL!!
*Silence.*
Xarbok: Toad, get out the freakin' drum set already!!
*Silence.*
Xarbok: Oh, yeah, Yoshi swallowed him. Oh well, I can do without a drumroll. Here
goes the FINAL REVIEW!!! "Oh no! Please don't give up! Celtic Boy CB"
Don't worry, guys - I actually got an idea - might be done in a few weeks.
Peach: Wow, that was pretty entertaining!
Xarbok: Yea, that was great.
Yoshi: Mmm, drums. *Tongue lashes out.*
Xarbok: Yoshi, NO!!!! *Still holding on to the bag of reviews, leaps up and grabs
Yoshi's tongue in midair.* We DON'T eat the drumset!!
*Unfortunately, Yoshi pulls his tongue in and swallows Xarbok and the bag of reviews.*
*Another egg appears*
*In the egg...*
Xarbok: Crap. Well, isn't this a fine mess?
*It's pitch dark inside the egg, and it's far too small.*
Xarbok: Geez...this sucks...
*Outside...*
*Everyone cheers and claps again.*
Peach: FINALLY, that idiot's gone!
DK: No more stupid comments!!!
Wario: No more bad jokes!!!
Yoshi: Mmm. Drums are good.
*Muffled voices sound from inside the Yoshi eggs.*
Xarbok: Get...me...out of here!
Toad: Rggh!!
*The eggs roll around.*
*Yoshi grabs the two eggs. He hands them to DK, who opens the window and kicks them far, far away, never to be seen again.*
THE END
*Stay tuned for the next chapter!!*
KART CHAMPIONS MAILBAG 1
First, let me say that ANY INSULTS should not be taken to heart - this is direct from my subconcious at 3 AM. I was in a weird mood. This has absolutely nothing to do with the plot and the characters don't act right.
Xarbok: I've decided that every five episodes, I'm gonna respond to all those reviews
you nice people sent me in your spare time, with the help of several "out- of-
character characters." Yea, great huh? Kay, here goes...
*Toad shambles in lugging a sack behind him.*
Xarbok: Come on, now. Hurry up or I'll cut your pay!
*Toad gets a frightened look and throws the bag at Xarbok.*
Toad: What am I now, your slave?!
Xarbok: Uh huh. Anyways, let's see - spam, spam, spam... *Tosses over shoulder.* Ah,
here's one from some guy named "Toad." Hey Toad, hear that?
*Opens envelope.*
Xarbok: Let's see... "Your story is bad. It's really really bad. You suck. And I think
you should increase Toad's pay."
Toad: *Backs away, face turning red* I...wouldn't...write...anything...like...that...
I'VEGOTTAGOTOTHEBATHROOMBYE! *Races away.*
Xarbok: Naw, I won't cut his pay. *Ahem* Riiiiight. Finally! Some real reviews. OK,
this one's from December 17th, 2002. Quite a while ago, come to think of it -
can't really believe it's been half a year...anyways, this's from a constant
reviewer, "Luigi Mario: KOG."
*Opens envelope.*
Xarbok: *Ahem* "Cool! I'm adding this to my favorites list." Well now, that's pretty
guddurn spiffy - someone's readin all my junk!
*Toad peeks in door.*
Toad: Someone put it in their favorite's list?
Xarbok: Yea, but I don't really get his name...yo, Luigi! Get in here!
Luigi: Yeah, what?
Xarbok: We've got another one.
Luigi: Whoa...can I...er...use your computer for a sec?
Xarbok: No. You'd screw up my life.
Luigi: Ya, whatever. He said to read his story to get his name! Geez, don't you understand
ANYTHING AT ALL?!
Xarbok: Shhh! Toad might hit you with his whip!
Luigi: Uh huh. Right.
Xarbok: Well ol' clumsy YOU brought this to a screeching halt. I was on a roll!
Toad: Shut up and keep going! *Cracks whip.*
Xarbok: OW! YOU'RE supposed to be the slave!
*Gets a horrible glare from Toad.*
Xarbok: *Frightned.* OK...here's...the next one. Well, whaddya know? *Gets weird
announcer voice.* FIVE DAYS LATER...THE SECOND CHAPTER WAS
RELEASED!!!!!
Peach: Look, if you shut up, this'll go a lot faster.
Xarbok: Um, right. Well, Luigi Mario KOG's back for number two.
*Opens envelope.*
Xarbok: *Ahem.* Here goes: "Great! I bet it's Luigi this time." I'm sure you know exactly what went on on the other side of the door by now – it's been awhile...thanks by the way for staying with this story's hard times! Am I right, Luigi?!
Wario: You wrote the story, idiot! Why would you be asking HIM?!
Xarbok: 'Cause, quite frankly, he's a lot more intelligent than YOU are!
Wario: You come right here and say that to my face!!
Xarbok: I'd rather not. Anyways...more thanks to Luigi Mario KOG for also being the only reviewer of chapter one!!!
Peach: Now, now...calm down...I might have to hit you...
Xarbok: Ya, ya...right. Here's another one on Chapter 2, from "GameCubeGirl1."
Hmm, I like the name...Toad! Write that down! *Toad takes out a pen and a tablet and
scribbles furiously.*
Xarbok: Anyways, here it is: "Hey Great work so far!! ive loved it! =D, what happened
to luigi though? did bowser return him? i need to know!! update soon please!!!
^_^" Another reviewer! Prepare the super shiny award for GameCubeGirl1!
Toad: Right on it. *Starts polishing super shiny award.*
Bowser: I'm tired. I will sleep now.
Xarbok: Oooookay...anyways, on with the show. Dunno if GameCubeGirl1 has kept
reading this story, but if not, I've actually explained in Ch 3 what happened.
*Suddenly, a long red tongue shoots out of nowhere into the bag of reviews.*
DK: Yoshi, what are you doing?!
*Yoshi swallows five reviews.*
Yoshi: Hey Xarbok, you're right! They DO taste better!
Mario: Hey, those were mine!
Yoshi: Don't care. I got hungry.
Xarbok: Sure, I eat other people's reviews all the time. Here's another one, from "Luigi
and Yoshi 4ever."
Luigi and Yoshi: WHAT?!?!
*DK bursts out laughing.*
Xarbok: I love these! Here goes: "AHHH! CLIFFHANGER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11" And there it was, in all its glory. It's too bad I can't tantalize you with the next chapter, since I'm sure you've probably already read it by now...
Mario: What's the deal with that "11"?
Yoshi: I dunno, but they look tasty...
Xarbok: No! These are MINE!! *Eats review.*
Bowser: ZzzzZZZzZZzzzzz..... *snort* ....zzZZZZzZzzZZ....
Xarbok: *Swallows.* Here's another one from Luigi and Yoshi 4ever... "Ouch. that has
to hurt. Will you get to the races, like on Rainbow Road or Kalamari Desert?"
DK: *Stops laughing.*
Xarbok: Actually, I've started work on the Flower Cup in chapters 4, 5, 6, and 7. I'll
keep going from there. Probably not gonna do the Mushroom Cup - not
interesting enough. And I quite agree...death hurts.
Toad: Death hurts.
DK: Death is fun.
Luigi: Death is like a big slab of cheesecake.
Yoshi: Mmm, cheesecake.
Xarbok: ANYWAY...Another one on chapter 3 from our good buddy Luigi Mario:
KOG. Here it is: "It's great, except for one thing, Luigi would never be pushed
aroun by Wario. I mean come on! Luigi knows that Wario is always up to no
good. How do I know, look at my name, I know Luigi's pesonality." Toad!! Why aren't you writing my every word into your tablet?!
Toad: Right on it.
Xarbok: Actually, send KOG a consolation prize. Give the super shiny award to
me instead. But anyway, you're right, and I've fixed that and resubmitted it.
Yoshi: Mmm, shiny.
*Suddenly, Yoshi's tongue lashes out of nowhere and aims for the shiny award. He misses, and hits Toad instead.*
Toad: NNNOOOOOO!!!!!
*Slow motion, Toad is sucked into Yoshi's mouth and is promptly swallowed.*
Yoshi: *Gulp.* Mmm...mushrooms.
*Everyone cheers and claps.*
*An egg appears.*
Xarbok: Thank god. Here's another one on Chapter 2 from "the eternal darkness."
Peach: Ooo, spooky.
Xarbok: *Ahem.* "wow.cool.thanks 4 giving yoshi a big role in this" Well, that's nice of him! Thanks. Hey, you've got a few fans too, Yoshi.
Yoshi: I have many fans.
Xarbok: Yeah...um...ok...
Bowser: ZzzZZzz... Get on with the reviews. ...zzZZZZzzzZ
Xarbok: Right. Ah, here's Luigi and Yoshi 4ever again! Let's see what he has to say:
"Don't tell me. he's dead right?" Ha ha, or so you might think...
Mario: I'm right here, moron!
Xarbok: You shut it – this person obviously means in the story!!
Luigi: I want more fans.
Yoshi: I have more fans.
Xarbok: Oookaayy...and indeed, as I'm sure you now know, Mario is still alive...
Luigi: ...Whether we like it or not.
Mario: Shut up.
Xarbok: Well now! It's Luigi Mario: KOG AGAIN! It's great to have constant reviewers! It makes me feel happy inside.
Mario: I repeat: Shut up.
Xarbok: Ok, ok...here's his message: "Sucks to be Mario. At least I can be sure that
Mario's cart is in worse shape tham Mario.I hope." Uh, oh. Mario, you have a
worried reviewer. If Mario's kart is nonexistent, you'd better hope Mario's in better shape.
Mario: This is wonderful - send him flowers.
Xarbok: Good idea. Toad! Get right on it!
*Mario rolls his eyes - Xarbok never gets any jokes.*
Xarbok: Ah, the last one!
*Everyone gasps.*
Xarbok: *Puts on rubber gloves and gas mask and opens envelope with tongs.* Ah, u
noo defoower!
DK: What?!
Xarbok: *Takes off gas mask.* A new reviewer! This one's from Celtic Boy, in
response to my infamous "Author's Note of DOOOM!!!"
Peach: Wow. You can tell we're impressed.
Xarbok: Here goes. Drumroll, please!
*Silence.*
Xarbok: I said, DRUMROLL!!
*Silence.*
Xarbok: Toad, get out the freakin' drum set already!!
*Silence.*
Xarbok: Oh, yeah, Yoshi swallowed him. Oh well, I can do without a drumroll. Here
goes the FINAL REVIEW!!! "Oh no! Please don't give up! Celtic Boy CB"
Don't worry, guys - I actually got an idea - might be done in a few weeks.
Peach: Wow, that was pretty entertaining!
Xarbok: Yea, that was great.
Yoshi: Mmm, drums. *Tongue lashes out.*
Xarbok: Yoshi, NO!!!! *Still holding on to the bag of reviews, leaps up and grabs
Yoshi's tongue in midair.* We DON'T eat the drumset!!
*Unfortunately, Yoshi pulls his tongue in and swallows Xarbok and the bag of reviews.*
*Another egg appears*
*In the egg...*
Xarbok: Crap. Well, isn't this a fine mess?
*It's pitch dark inside the egg, and it's far too small.*
Xarbok: Geez...this sucks...
*Outside...*
*Everyone cheers and claps again.*
Peach: FINALLY, that idiot's gone!
DK: No more stupid comments!!!
Wario: No more bad jokes!!!
Yoshi: Mmm. Drums are good.
*Muffled voices sound from inside the Yoshi eggs.*
Xarbok: Get...me...out of here!
Toad: Rggh!!
*The eggs roll around.*
*Yoshi grabs the two eggs. He hands them to DK, who opens the window and kicks them far, far away, never to be seen again.*
THE END
*Stay tuned for the next chapter!!*