Raven Feathers.
Nanu
It doesn't take them long to find him. The two of them climb the fire escape of a building opposite Wolf's school, and watch. Within seven minutes, he comes into view.
"Late again," remarks Trinity.
"Did you watch me like this?" Nanu asks.
"I was once watched like this." The captain pulls out her cell and hands it to Nanu. "Call him."
"Me?"
"You're less threatening."
Nanu dials the memorised number. Across the street, the boy pauses as his bag begins to ring. He rummages through it, and finds his phone.
– Hello? –
Nanu suddenly has no idea what to say.
– Hello? –
Trinity holds up her hands, she's not going to help.
– Lurker? –
"Hello Wolf."
On the street opposite them, he lifts his head, stands a little straighter.
– Hey Lurker, I know your a/s/l –
There is a grin in his voice.
– Age, teenage. Sex, female. Location, within reception –
"How diabolically clever of you. But how do I know your name?"
Silence.
"And how did I get your number?"
Silence.
"And how am I watching you right now?"
– Are you going to tell me? –
"One day, perhaps."
– Is this to do with the Matrix? –
Trinity gives an approving look. Nanu feels her lip curl.
"Definitely."
– What – ? –
"You're already late for school Wolf, and you have a math test first period don't you?"
– How – ? –
"Bye now. I'll be seeing you."
She hangs up. Down on the pavement, Wolf lowers his phone and frowns at it. Then he shakes his head, and slowly continues to the school gate.
Nanu sags, leaning against the concrete of the building's façade.
"You're good at this," Trinity says softly. "He's baffled."
"I hate this. I hate confusing him."
"Keeps him curious."
"I still hate it. And from what Neo said we might not even get him out."
"If we don't someone else will."
"It won't be the same."
Sudden quiet. Trinity sighs. "I knew this would happen."
Nanu doesn't speak. She's already said more than she meant to.
"I asked Neo not to let you be the guide this time. Don't get that wounded look Nanu, it's a fact you have to live with that there are things you don't know yet.
"I should have at least warned you. It's the most common thing in the world for the guide to become somewhat attached to their target. I've been assigned to dozens of potential new crewmates, and it's never easy letting them go. Another ship usually picks them up, but it's like finding a stray cat you have to give away."
Nanu doesn't move, she barely breathes for fear of distracting Trinity. She's never spoken so openly before, and even if it might not be the wisest thing to be doing, Nanu can't help listen, with all senses she possesses.
"And there's nothing that makes it easier. There's nothing you can do to stop a target treating you like you're some kind of angel. I've tried over the years to guard myself, become immune – "
. . . Neo . . .
" – but I never can."
. . . the Trinity? That cracked the IRS D-base? . . .
"Everyone of them treats you differently, but essentially the same. You become the world to them, when they have no one else to turn to."
Nanu ducks her head. Echoes begin to ricochet at odd angles from the concrete around them, and they make sounds like harp strings in Nanu's ears.
She shouldn't have listened so deeply. There is a scent of danger now.
"Are you alright?"
"I'm fine."
Like a faint headache, it will go away.
Pirate
The woman sits at the front desk of the public library, scanning books in a bored manner. She doesn't notice Pirate as he browses the shelves and pretends to not be watching her. He lets his fingertips dust over book spines, feeling cheap plastic covers wrinkle and words itch his skin, wanting to be read and remembered. The air in here is thick with thought and memory.
After a minute he slips out to the foyer, again unnoticed. He takes out his cell and phones Neo, who is patrolling the rooftops somewhere.
– Hey, how is she? –
"Bored out of her skull."
– Liven up her day then –
Pirate hangs up. GreyArea is only a year younger then himself, he hopes he can make a good impression.
He breathes in, You can do this. He puts on his shades, runs a hand through his hair. Straightening the collar of his leather jacket, he goes back in to the library.
This time she notices him.
He moves up to the desk, walking in the way that had first caught Nanu's attention. There is no one near them as he leans against the cheap plywood between him and the woman.
"Bianca isn't your real name is it?" he makes his voice low and smooth. Animal.
. . . afraid . . . curious . . . he hears from her.
"Your real name is GreyArea."
"How do you know that?" she keeps her voice as low as his, clenching the book in her hands. William Gibson's Neuromancer, Pirate notes with amusement.
"I know a lot about you." The pick up line that never fails.
"Who are you?" she leans a little closer. He catches the scent of her perfume.
"I'm a friend of Neo."
Nanu
By the time they reach the doorway of the old warehouse Nanu's headache is gone. The harp strings have stopped singing in her ears, and she even skips up the steps.
"You seem cheerful," Trinity comments.
"It's so free in here," Nanu smiles.
Trinity stops short. "That's not true Nanu. You know how dangerous it is."
The girl slows to a halt, her head on one side. She considers, but doesn't speak aloud. Even for those with the gift, the Matrix is a dangerous place. But she's made it through before, she's avoided danger in untested sims, faced down agents and rebuilt crumbling programs. If anyone should feel safe in the Matrix, it should be Nanu.
"Sorry Trinity. I guess I've just missed it in here."
The captain nods, and turns away to open the warped plywood door. "Come on then."
But Nanu doesn't reply. She's already rocketing skyward.
Trinity
She swears loudly, yanking the door open as a phone begins to ring inside. Trinity runs for it, snatching it off the cradle.
***
She opens her eyes with a start, calling to Tank before she's even unplugged.
"Nanu ran off, keep a close watch on her."
"Why'd she run?" Achi sounds concerned.
"I suppose she missed flying," Trinity crosses to Tank's side, reading code over his shoulder. There's just cloud, speed, and Nanu. Nothing to worry about really.
Nanu
Straight up. Breathless. Wind.
She wants to memorise this feeling. She wants to always remember how free she feels. But nothing ever comes close to the drug of breaking every law of the Matrix, of the AI. No manmade sim can give her same euphoric feeling of freedom.
Nanu flies up like a bullet until she is above the clouds. The sky above her is clear and clean and blue.
And not real. But it was once real.
The clouds are white, the sun is beyond colour. She slows into a turn, dancing between the contrasts of warm sun and cool wind, constant movement. Sweeping, gliding, smooth.
Free.
Trinity
Achi keeps vigil at one screen, while Tank monitors Pirate's conversation with GreyArea beside her. Both of them scan for an Agent's code, but nothing shows.
"Wait," Achi points. "Did you see that?"
"What?"
"A hiccup or something – "
"A change?"
"I don't know."
Tank looks over to the captain. Trinity stands by Nanu, reading her stats like they hold answers for the girl's motivations.
She sighs, bowing her head. She didn't want to call for help to reign in an errant teenager.
"Contact Neo," she orders Tank. He does so immediately.
Nanu
A ripple, a shudder through the air. Nanu opens her eyes, Polaroid muting the sunlight. Something dark moves at the edge of her vision. Feathers?
She turns, and almost falls.
Raven.
Trinity
She looks down at the girl, and almost jumps when her eyes flicker open. Trinity glances back to the screen, Nanu's vitals are normal but her alpha pattern is dead flat.
"Oh my God."
Achi calls from near Tank, "Her code is gone."
Trinity reacts on gut instinct. "Gavin!" she yells up the ladder to the bridge. "Get down here!"
Neo
"Hey Mr Wizard, what's up?"
– We've got trouble boss –
"What?"
– Nanu's disappeared –
"Get us an exit now."
Nanu
"Raven."
"Juno."
"No. I'm not Juno."
A brief look of confusion passes over his features. He looks so much like Neo, except for the longer hair and the shadow of a beard. His clothes are rougher, leather and cotton, and scuffed.
"Then, who are you?"
"I'm Nanu."
"It's all much the same anyway," he smiles. "The same soul."
She moves away, skirling water vapour at her feet. Deny. He's lying. Juno is a personality that is gone, and you are your own person. Who you once were does not override who you now are.
"You're not real," she decides.
"Yes I am," he laughs, easily. His eyes glint like a wolf's. He has the same abstract grace as Neo.
. . . the Matrix can read minds . . . maybe even especially yours . . .
"No, you're not." He looks so much like Neo. But he's not. "You're dead," she lets the words out harshly.
"I live on – "
"You're part of my imagination. You're just a memory. You're not real."
To hurt him like this hurts her.
. . . I never had a dad . . .
He's NOT REAL.
Gavin
She lies in her chair as if dead, tense and breathing slowly. Her eyes are open yet she doesn't blink.
"What in hell happened?"
Nobody answers. Trinity won't look at him.
Gavin almost runs to Nanu's side, where he snatches up her hand. He can feel her pulse under her cool skin. Like before, like the Challenge. She'll be alright.
"Where's Neo?" he asks Tank.
"On his way out."
Nanu
"You can't be real, you can't be."
"Why not?"
"Neo – "
"Who's Neo?"
"You died Raven. You came back in Neo. He's the One."
"Juno, I don't understand."
"I'm not Juno!"
"Of course you are," he walks closer, as if he doesn't even notice how high they are. "You're my daughter – "
"No!" she takes off her shades to wipe away tears.
Pirate
Eyes open. Chill of the real world. Someone pulls his plug for him, and Pirate sits up.
Gavin is beside Nanu, clutching her hand. He's almost screaming without sound, his fear obvious even to Pirate's dull gift.
Tank is scanning code, trying to find some trace of Nanu, Achi is with him, and Trinity is jackig out Neo.
Neo looks around, and swears quietly when he sees their youngest crewmember. "Not again."
"Again?" Trinity demands.
"She did this when she saw Morpheus."
Pirate sits up straighter. So the rumours of the man are true.
"So where is she?" Tank asks, still searching the screens.
"I don't know. She's neither here nor in the Matrix, she isn't really anywhere."
"And what are we meant to do?" Gavin snaps, "Just ride this out?"
Neo sags, "I don't know."
Pirate looks back to the girl. Her mind is elsewhere, clearly. Neither in her body, nor the Matrix. There must be some other plane then that she can reach, somewhere not recorded in code, or beyond the reach of the Neb's signal. But if she has done this before, it means she can return, so what is the danger.
An alarm. Achi kills it quickly.
"What was that?" Trinity asks.
"We may not know where she is, but I think the AI have traced her connection."
"So it's only a matter of time," Neo murmurs, confirming what they all know, "before they find out where we are."
Between Neo, Trinity and Tank, one word echoes out loud enough for Pirate to hear.
. . . sentinels . . .
This has happened to them before.
Pirate turns to Gavin, who is mouthing words faintly.
Gavin
"You promised me. You promised me."
Feeling eyes on him, Gavin meets the other young man's gaze.
. . . she's like me, in a way you'll never understand . . .
"Pirate," he whispers, barely loud enough to be heard. "Do something."
Nanu/Juno
She feels tired. She's tired of fighting this program, this reality, this duplicity of lives. Memories blur with experiences, and the girl in the sky is no longer sure of whose soul she owns. Arms wrap around her, and Nanu/Juno relaxes in the embrace of Raven/her father. Her vision is fuzzy and confused, but it doesn't matter because she's safe, of course she is, all she has to do is relax and sleep and all this pointless fighting will end very soon.
Pirate
"I don't know what to do."
"Call her. I don't know if she'll hear you but call her."
He grips the armrests of his chair. He can only listen, he cannot speak. He has none of the strength Nanu possesses.
But he tries. He brings to mind the image of Nanu waking up after the Challenge, sitting in her chair and reaching for –
Gavin. Always Gavin. But Gavin is at her side now, as he was before.
Nanu. I told him you'd be fine. Don't make me a liar, come back . . .
Nanu/Juno
To sleep, perchance to dream.
Memories, in the corner of my mind.
Drift back to a time when things were happier. Float back to that twilight in September, to that spring sunset when you flew and danced with your father between the moon and the city and you had a place in the world.
Let go. If you do you will become a art of this dream forever. Because souls are immortal right? And a dream feels like a forever.
Let go. Stop thinking, stop fighting. Let yourself dissolve. Be nothing more than a fragment of code, a memory.
Become a part of this dream.
She can almost see, through closed eyes, a world of lost souls. Lonely ghosts who haunt some realm that's not quite there. Like shadows, like wraiths, they hang suspended in a place that does not know time. Like things that were but are no more. Like memories.
Echoes of harp strings, depths of mind and soul that should not be laid vulnerable in this place. Sounds like ribbons, feathers like notes that are pure. She breathes in, inhaling the feeling of flight and the scent of freedom. In the end of her existence is hidden the most perfect of freedoms.
you promised me . . .
don't make me a liar . . .
you promised me . . .
I think you've passed my test, or whatever . . .
there are things you can do that I can't . . .
please Nanu, you promised me . . .
Let go.
But then, a small innocent voice, stronger and so much clearer than the others.
come home. you'll make everyone sad if you go.
Sad. A child's word.
I promise I'll come back Gavin . . .
I'll hold you to that . . .
Trinity
Alarms, lights. Proximity Warning.
She looks at Tank. He grips the keyboard with one hand, so tight it may crack.
Trinity gets up, running toward the ladder. Achi follows, and they climb up to the bridge.
Pilot's chair, hit controls. Hologram, blue in the darkness.
"Sentinels," says the Zion born. "How long?"
Read stats. "Five, maybe six minutes." Re-read as the screen flickers. "Christ, even less than that." She inhales, then snatches up the mike. Clicks it on.
"Tank."
Nothing.
"Tank!"
– Captain? –
Captain. Yes Trin, you are the ranking officer on this ship.
"Charge the EMP."
Achi's gaze is shocked, and afraid.
. . . we can't use that until he's out . . .
Why does history repeat?
She bows her head against her hands. "She's going to make it."
She has to.
Pirate
On the deck, Tank follows orders. But Neo, Pirate and Gavin do not move. Their eyes are fixed on the young girl in the chair.
Two of them with the Gift, and one with a bond to her so strong that if she dies he will too.
They wait. They call.
Nanu
Let go.
I'll hold you.
Let go of me. I want to sleep.
No. Wake up. Don't leave.
Let go of me!
No!
She clenches her eyes shut tight.
Instinct. Scan. One thing stands out loud and clear.
SENTINELS
Again, that small voice. Like a note so intrinsically pure it can shatter crystal.
come back!
Her hands hold black cloth. Clouds whorl beneath and around her.
Raven is nothing more than a memory from a previous life. And the past is the past, unchangeable, and written. There is nothing to be gained from lingering in its shadow. For the future is a path waiting to be trod, waiting to be written.
Let go.
Let go of the past. So what if she never knew her father? The crew is her family now.
Push him away.
She flies alone. Raven is gone.
Tank
He exclaims as the code flickers, he can see Nanu again!
Nanu
Empty sky. Scan.
Neo.
Pirate.
Gavin.
Father.
Brother.
Friend. Lover.
All calling her back anyway they can.
Phone ringing. Where?
Down.
Tank
He swears as Nanu plummets from the sky like a hawk.
RED ALERT
She halts an inch above the pavement, grabbing for the payphone.
Trinity
She stares as they come. The one leading is huge, all sheet metal and claws, reaching and shredding the air as it hurtles toward the ship, and she's thinking, not again.
Nanu
Eyes blink
Deep breath of frozen air
Plug slides out
A scream, distant
Neo's yell "Now!"
Sound. Rush of energy. Blue light.
Green eyes. Silence.
Tears.
Whisper, so soft he has to read the shape of your mouth. "I promised you didn't I?"
Gavin. Touch.
***