Knowing I'm the outcast of humanity.....

the thing noone wants.

The one they look down upon.

I have hurt the one I love most.

I've pushed everyone away.

to be in eternal solitude....

to be comforted in the sanctuary of my sorrows.

I long to be wanted, to be loved.

A distant dream thats miles away.

My sacred dreams burst in flames as yet again I am lost in my suffering.

My soul cries as its shattered heart finally breaks.

I long to be enclosed in his arms.

I long to hear his caring words,to feel his hands in mine.

I long to see his smiling face.

I asked to be left alone as I sit in my dark room.

She asks if i'm ok and I want to scream and shout, tell her to get out.

Yet I smile and nod and tell her that i will see her tomarrow.

She smiles and leaves and i call her pathetic.

she was blinded by my mask. My mask of fake emotions.

I walk to my dresser and pull out my journal.

I cry as I feel the anticipation to get it over with.

To deminsh all my pain,my suffering.

I open the flap and out comes a blade. I smile.

My pain releiver, my ndream burner.

I take the blade as i feel the coldness run across my skin.

I smile. The crimson liquid runs down my hands.

I feel sleepy and i curl up in a corner. I run the balde across

my other wrist and sigh in releif.

Soon, soon my suffering will be finished.

I fall asleep never to wake. Never to be hurt again.