The nineteenth chapter. It's pretty weird, I never thought I would write in chapters, and especially not this MUCH chapters. So how do you enjoy the story? Do you think I'm getting this to complicated? Or am I off-character? I don't know… I just write a story that I think is nice… Anyway, I thought I'd write this chapter right away, now I have the time to. Oww and I'm sorry, I re-checked my previous chapter, it was full of errors. I typed it to fast… Anyway, on with the story!
And special thanks to: Christopher Burt for helping me with my errors, since English is my second language! Thankyouthankyouthankyou!!!!
Final Breakdowns and Still Doubting
Chapter 19
"Kaede-baba! Come and see! The Shikon no Tama is whole again!!!"
"Really… It worked. I doubted that for a long time…"
"But how are we gonna get it out, I mean, just pull or something?"
"I guess so, Sango. Inuyasha must get it out himself."
"I can do that, houshi! Don't doubt my strength…"
"Oww! Macho-guy! Show-off!"
"Relax, Sango! It worked, so getting it out wont be to hard."
"Inuyasha likes to think it won't be hard 'cause he'll get his lover back…"
"SHIPPO!!! I'm doing this for…"
"Us, I know… But you wouldn't do it if there wasn't something in there for you…"
"Shut up, houshi! Be glad I'm doing it for ya!"
"Quit the nonsense. Now get it out please, I'm an old woman and I don't have another century to live…"
"Okay… Here goes nothing…"
Inuyasha took a deep breath and got his claw in his right arm. After a few seconds of quietness he took the glass, pink ball out of his arm. It had reformed…
"Yes! It worked!!! It worked! You did it, Inuyasha!"
"I did it… I did it! Yes!"
Kaede looked at the happy group and couldn't help but smile. They were so happy that they could get Kagome back. The happiest person was Inuyasha, though he didn't show it now. But Kaede knew the hardest part still had to come. How would Kagome react when she got back in her body?
"I know you're all happy, I'm too, but there is one thing: Kagome isn't back yet, and there are still things that'll be hard. Harder than this has been."
"Why, Kaede? We'll get Kagome back and then she can be my mommy again!!"
"It's not that simple, Shippo. Inuyasha, you understand, don't you? You've got a long road ahead of you before things get right. Kagome is hurt, and not a little too. She might even go straight back to her time when she gets back. It's what you make out of it, Inuyasha."
"But Kaede-baba… She can't be to mad at me, I mean…"
"She is. No matter if it wasn't supposed to happen, if it wasn't really your fault. She was soul-dead for a couple of days… She doesn't know what has happened here, she only knows what you said last to Kikyo… And you know what that is…"
Flashback
"Inuyasha… Who are you really in love with?"
"I'm not in love with Kagome!"
"Then, you choose for me… It'll be so…"
Again the purple light came around Kikyo…
"Mateo! Kikyo! I didn't… I wouldn't…"
"You can't stop me, Inuyasha… If you hadn't chosen for me I still wouldn't let her live as a replacement for what I was… 'Cause that's what she actually is to you, ne?"
"A… replacement?"
"Yes, she was… But now I'm here… You don't have to worry about that girl anymore. You don't have to save her anymore. Don't have to protect her. Let's get this thing over with!"
The light became so bright Inuyasha couldn't really stand to look at it.
"We can be together now Inuyasha! Forever! Ever!"
"But Kikyo… Wait… She isn't…"
End Flashback
"Get it, Inuyasha? The last thing she heard you say probably was that she was a replacement and that you didn't love her. The things she always suspected. There was no reason to live anymore so she gave up. If she hadn't given up there is a chance she'd be alive now. Don't make those mistakes again…"
"But, Kaede…"
"Just an advice for you. And you'd better listen to it if you want things to go right…"
Inuyasha closed his eyes and thought deeply. Kaede was right about Kagome's feelings. She would probably hate him for the rest of her life… If she ever got back, that is…
*Why do things have to go this way? Why can't Kikyo stop reviving? It'll only get things worse and more complicated. And why did I have to deny I love Kagome at the moment I needed to tell my true feelings? That was the biggest mistake in my life. Now I don't know what I should do about it: I'm not sure I have the power to get Kikyo out of Kagome's body. I want to, but on the other hand… This sucks! Why can't I admit to myself that there was nothing between Kikyo and me? I said it to her. I thought I understood and that I agreed to that. I thought I finally understood things as they were and what really happened… But I thought that before. Why do I still doubt the choice I'm making? Why do I have to make that choice? Can't someone else make sure I'm doing this right? I know I should chose for Kagome… It's obvious. Kikyo is only a mere reflection of what she once was. She isn't like she was before… Like we used to be. She went totally insane! But still… Can I just pretend there's nothing that holds me to get her out of Kagome's body? If I wish Kagome back with the Shikon no Tama… I have to do it with all my soul. I can't afford that nagging voice in the back of my head that tells me to let Kikyo stay. I can't afford that when I make my wish… I might make a fatal mistake again, but then it can't be corrected. I can't afford doubts in my mind. I must really support the choice I'm make, for the total, everything! No doubts… I know I'm gonna blow it… I just know… Kagome, would you please forgive me if I do? I want you to come back to me and I know I made a big mistake before. I also know I'm probably going to make another big mistake. I know now… I choose for you, I need you. I don't need Kikyo in my life, I need you. I need you… I know I need you. I know I will get things right, I will make up to you. I'll correct my mistakes and everything can be as it should be…*
Inuyasha opened his eyes. He saw the pitch-black night outside and looked around to find Kaede looking at him.
"Do you know what you are gonna do, Inuyasha?"
"I know, Kaede-baba. I know what I had to do before and I know what I should do now."
"The only problem is you have to agree with that choice."
"I know… I figured that out. I don't know if I can fully represent that choice. I don't know if I'll be able to do that."
"You will, Inuyasha. Just believe in yourself and don't give up. You might have been a bit confused after you met with Kikyo-oneesama. But that should direct you to your choice. Everything will have [an] influence, but deep down inside you know what to do, Inuyasha."
"I just doubt that I have enough willpower to show my choice. I don't know if I can handle this."
"Don't doubt yourself, Inuyasha. I know you can do it… Though it might take a while before you'll be ready…"
"Let's get to sleep. I've thought enough about it tonight. I know what I will do."
Inuyasha walked out the door and Kaede saw him getting up a tree.
"I just hope you are certain of your choice. You've got enough problems as it is now…"
(AN: Just a lyric I think fits Inuyasha… It's from Krezip, named Gentle)
Don't you worry, enough should be enough
I try to hear it, but nothing works at all
So please be gentle, it's better to leave me alone
'Cause nothing's working
All I do is cry
I cry, cry, cry
Sometimes it feels like it rains on me day and night
I can't make up my mind
Losing my head, finding worries instead
Sometimes just nothing goes right
Sometimes just nothing feels right
So it won't get out if I stay like this
So all I can do is to just get up for now, wake up
So please be gentle, it's better to leave me alone
'Cause nothings working
All I do is cry
I cry, cry, cry
Sometimes it feels like it rains on me day and night
I can't make up my mind
Losing my head, finding worries instead
Sometimes just nothing goes right
Sometimes just nothing feels right
Take your time now
Try to be away
I want to hear it
But I feel so awfully small
So I cry, cry, cry
Sometimes it feels like it rains on me day and night
I can't make up my mind
Losing my head, finding worries instead
Sometimes just nothing goes right
Sometimes just nothing feels right
~*~
So, was that a long enough chapter? Or do you think my chapters are TOO long… I don't know. I just try to wake up the REVIEWSPIRIT with you guys. If you don't agree with anything of the story PLEASE review… I like reviews… I live on reviews… ^.~