This story is actually one to be proud of, don't you think? I certainly am… I don't wanna sound like "OOO I'm so good!!!" but I just didn't think I'd ever write such a big story… and never with so much emotion / drama / whatever in it… I'm actually a very ehm… H&H girl (happy and hyper girl)… Oww yeah! You guys should read the fic I wrote together with my brother: The Missing Noodle Mystery… I think it's really funny… And you can see the other side of me! Okay, enough support to my stories… Just read. And review if you're not to lazy… (okay that wasn't nice… But I'm jealous of the stories that have 50 reviews on only ONE chapter…)
Final Breakdowns and Still Doubting
Chapter 21
She felt the rain coming down at her… It felt as if she would collide with the rain if she stayed long enough in it. Kikyo's clothes were warmer then her own… But still it was cold… By a streak of wind she suddenly lost her balance, and felt herself falling down the wrong side… into the well…
"Ah! No!!" she yelled as she swung her arms to grab something. Something, anything that would prevent her from falling down.
Suddenly she saw two golden eyes above her.
"Gotcha! You weren't planning on going, were you?"
"I was. Figure it out yourself."
"But Kagome… I…"
"Just… Just leave me alone for a couple of days, okay?"
"Promise me that you won't go through the well without telling me…"
"You want me to promise you that? Ha! Don't tell me about promises."
" Kagome…"
"Just let me think, okay!"
"Alright, alright. Just don't accidentally fall into that well again. It'll be the last time."
"Leave me alone… Do the others even know I'm alive again?"
"They don't. Only Kaede knows."
"But… but… Didn't Sango wish me back or something?"
"No… I did…"
"You did it? Without telling the others?"
"Yeah…"
"I want to see them! I need to see Sango! And Shippo! I'm going!"
She ran all the way to Kaede's house and found Sango, Miroku and Shippo still asleep.
"They don't know you're back, Kagome."
"Kaede-sama? I want to say goodbye to them…"
"I think you should reconsider that decision. You should really think about it. Don't act in rage, you'll be sorry later…"
"But… But… I don't know! My mind's screwed up, I can't think and I want my own clothes! Else that hanyou will mistake me for Kikyo again!"
"He won't. Do you know HE was the one that wished you back?"
"I know. Why in heavens would he do that when he's got Kikyo?!"
"You need to know the whole story, Kagome. Then you can decide whether you'll go or not."
"My opinion won't change that much, I think, Kaede-sama."
"But do you know how we reformed the Shikon no Tama?"
"I guessed you reformed it, since you're the Miko around here…"
"Inuyasha did. He put it in his arm, so that it would reform. When it was almost complete Kikyo-oneesama showed up, all confused, she almost looked possessed by some spirit. She started screaming that everyone and everything in this world betrayed her, let her down. She went insane."
"Inuyasha reformed the jewel? To become fully demon?"
"No… He really wanted to wish you back. From the second he made that big mistake he regretted it. He wanted you back. But if my suspicions are right, he's lost you…"
"Kaede-sama… I need to think it over… I need to get things straight in my head. Did you keep my clothes?"
"Yes, Inuyasha found them in the forest. Kikyo must've dropped them there."
"I'll go change my clothes. And I'd really like it if it stopped raining…" she said while changing. When she was done she told Kaede to tell everyone she was okay, but she needed to think.
She went out to the riverside of the village and wondered… Would she stay with them…? Would she be able to forgive Inuyasha? He did do everything to get her back…
(AN: I've put in a song of Within Temptation, called Our farewell.)
In my hands
A legacy of memories
I can hear you say my name
I can almost see your smile
Feel the warmth of your embrace
But there is nothing but silence now
Around the one I loved
Is this our farewell?
She moved her finger in the water while she thought it over. Kaede thought she should stay, didn't she? Though Kaede didn't say it aloud, Kagome thought she wanted her to at least forgive Inuyasha...
Sweet darling you worry too much, my child
See the sadness in your eyes
You are not alone in life
Although you might think that you are
But was there anything to stay here for? She only got here because of the jewel… Now it has reformed, even used already, was there anything to hold on to? Her friends, Miroku and Sango… The little Kitsune… and…. Inuyasha? But she had no purpose here… A teardrop fell from her cheek. Would she stay here if there were nothing to do for her?
Never thought
This day would come so soon
We had no time to say goodbye
How can the world just carry on?
I feel so lost when you are not by my side
But there's nothing but silence now
Around the one I loved
Is this our farewell?
Yet again, Kaede's words flew through her mind. She said Inuyasha had wanted to wish her back from the moment she was gone… Didn't he ever think of staying with Kikyo? She had her body… She was back to the normal Kikyo… Why did Inuyasha want her back while he always said Kikyo was better in everything? Why?
Sweet darling you worry too much, my child
See the sadness in your eyes
You are not alone in life
Although you might think that you are
Kagome got more and more undecided. What was the right thing to do…? Could she get herself so far to jump in the well without saying goodbye? Without saying anything?
~*~
Inuyasha rushed to Kaede's home, but didn't see Kagome there. He followed her scent and saw her sitting by the riverside. He looked at her face… She cried?
*I want her to be happy… If only I had used my head for once! I don't deserve her… I shouldn't have let her down…*
So sorry your world is tumbling down
I will watch you through these nights
Rest your head and go to sleep
Because I hope this is not our farewell.
This is not our farewell.
Kagome looked at her reflection in the river. The raindrops formed circles in the water, as they kept falling out of the sky. What about her parents… would they be worrying about her? And her friends… would they care about her? Would they eventually forget about her? She wiped her tears and the raindrops off her face and stood up. She was freezing, but didn't want to go to the village… Her friends couldn't help her out with this one… She had to figure it out herself. She shivered. Normally Inuyasha would've put his coat around her… she'd miss that feeling… She'd miss all of her friends… She felt herself turn cold. She didn't feel her feet and her fingers were also very cold. Would she go back to the village? She couldn't… she had to make a decision first. So she could whether tell them goodbye or tell them she'd stay. But wasn't there another option? She couldn't just say goodbye to either her family and friends in her time or the friends she had in this time… Couldn't she just…? But wait!
Couldn't she ask them if they would come to her time?
But then Inuyasha would have to come too. She just couldn't forgive him… She couldn't just tell him "Hey, Inuyasha. I decided I'd forgive you. Now we can be a couple and live a happily ever after!", she couldn't just do that, could she? There'd happened too much between them… too much to forgive easily. She felt her wet clothes stick to her body. She wrapped her arms around herself, but that didn't get her warmer. Every little bit of her body tingled of the cold rain that was still pouring down. The wind slammed the drops in her face. She didn't even feel it anymore. She felt herself falling down to her knees and she closed her eyes…
~*~
O NO! What did Kagome do to herself! She just stayed in that rain and now she's… Yeah, what is she? Unconscious…? KILLED?! No, I'm not that cruel. But nearly dead, that's something you can be certain of. Her body-temperature is way to low and if she keeps lying about there in her friggen nothing-to-cover-clothes when it's still raining like this… You guys can figure… I'm cruel, ain't I? And don't you think I have a writersblock… 'cause I actually have one so you don't have to tell me… But now I'm getting some new ideas and so my writersblock is gone! HAHAHAHA I beat you to it!!! ----- What that was for? Nothing… I'm just crazy… o_0