Pfew, did that take a long time or what… I'm sorry I let you guys waiting for so long (is it three whole weeks or something?) but I was really busy… Okay, bot a god reason but I had some various theatre show with my school and I was doing something with a group (we did an Idols sketch… Or Popidol, or American Popidol, Or Deutschland sücht einen Superstar or something…) and it took a long time to practice that. With that, my mother and little sister's birthday were in these weeks too… You understand, don't you? Can you possibly forgive me??? ^.~ Anyway, start reading again…
Final Breakdowns and Still Doubting
Chapter 22
Kagome felt her wet clothes stick to her body. She wrapped her arms around herself, but that didn't get her warmer. Every little bit of her body tingled from the cold rain that was still pouring down. The wind slammed the drops in her face. She didn't even feel it anymore. She felt herself falling down to her knees and she finally closed her eyes…
Inuyasha suddenly came back to reality. He saw Kagome falling down, she didn't move again.
*Kagome?! Why are you doing this to yourself? Why didn't you go inside? Why'd you have to go out when it rains so damn hard!*
He went to her and wrapped his coat around her wet body. He saw her face turning pale and her lips turning blue. This wasn't good. He had to get her to Kaede's place as soon as possible…
~*~
Meanwhile the others weren't sleeping anymore (I mean, can you stay asleep when Sango's screaming so loud…?) and wondered where Inuyasha was.
"Can you believe he took off so early in this kind of rain? I mean, we finally don't have to go look for shards again, or fight youkai… One can finally get some refreshing sleep!" Miroku said, staring out of the window. The rain still came down as if there was no end to come.
"Refreshing sleep, yeah… You really are hyperactive today… CAN YOU LEAVE MY ASS ALONE PLEASE!!!"
"I want Kagome back! She's like my mom and she's so sweet and I couldn't really sleep tonight… When are we gonna get her back?"
"She's already back, Shippo… Inuyasha wished her back last night."
"He DID? And he didn't involve us or something?!" Miroku said unbelievingly. They all had their doubts about Inuyasha doing that kind of thing and worse… Did he do it right?
"Kaede, how do you know Inuyasha wished Kagome-chan back for real? He could've done it wrong or something! How do we know he didn't accidentally used it for that Kikyo-bitch?"
"I know. I saw her myself. She's back, I can assure you…"
"But…" just as Shippo wanted to make a nice quote about it, Inuyasha came in. He was all wet and soaked and they all gasped in shock when they saw what he was carrying in his arms.
"Kagome-sama!"
"Kagome-chan!"
"Mommy!!!"
"Inuyasha… She's got a low body-temperature…" Kaede said as she laid her hand on Kagome's forehead.
"I know… She went out in the rain and eventually… lost consciousness…"
"I'll get her a bed and try to warm her up!" Sango said while doing so.
*It's all my fault… This whole thing is my fault… Why is it that I'm so weak… Why is it that Kikyo could control me this way… Is she able to… control me?*
He didn't hear everything they said to him. He stood frozen. How could he have let this happen? He watched the whole scene as if he was another person, seeing all the things the others did, all things they tried to do for Kagome. He just stood there, handing Kagome over to Miroku who laid her down in that bed. It was so unreal... Inuyasha walked out of the hut, the others still taking care of Kagome. They watched him go away, wondering why he would go when he's needed so much.
"Inuyasha!! Why are you running away?" little Shippo yelled after him.
He didn't hear it, or didn't know what to answer. He just walked further and further ' till they didn't see him anymore.
"That... bastard! How can he go away now! Kagome-chan needs help; we need to take care for her! Why is he running away?"
"He hates himself."
"Eh?"
"He takes the blame for everything. He feels all that has happened to Kagome is his fault... Which it is, if you take a clear look at the facts..."
"But... How do we know he's coming back... He could be running away to never return again..."
"He'll come back... I'm sure of that... But I don't think he'll come back all by himself..."
" But, Kaede- Thank goodness, Kagome-chan is getting warmer again..."
"She'll recover fast. I think she'll be the cause if Inuyasha will return..."
~*~
Inuyasha walked down the riverside. He walked towards the spot Kagome had been standing... where she eventually broke down. He sat down at that spot and tried to think. The rain still came out of the sky and soaked his hair and fur. Now the most important question wasn't if Kagome could forgive him... But if he could forgive himself...
He noticed that this was almost exactly the place where Kagome had stood before... When the Tama was broken into all those pieces... When it all began...
Hadn't he first thought she was a stupid girl, a fake someone who tried to be like Kikyo and who was only standing in the way? She proved him wrong... and he started to love her.
But then again, when Kikyo appeared... He didn't remember those thoughts about Kagome...
Kikyo was there and she wanted to be with him... In hell that is, but still...
Why was it that Kikyo played him like a puppet?
Always when she came around... Things went wrong... Only the last time, when she went insane... That was when she let go of the strings... If she hadn't broken down there... He didn't want to think about what might've happened there...
Things changed.
But why did it still go wrong?
Had Kikyo controlled his life for too long? Had he given the impression that... That he'd... He'd really...
Did Kagome think he was hopeless?
Had she thought like that? Wasn't he hopeless actually? Looking at the way she sometimes reacted… he could figure.
Kagome probably doesn't want to see you again… Not ever…
*Shut up… SHUT UP!*
Why would she then…
*I don't need a conscious… I can pretty much think about things on my one!*
I am you, Inuyasha… This are your heart's doubts… Your true feelings…
*I don't need those… I just needed to go away!*
You needed to get away because of these feelings… You're responsible for everything bad that has happened…
"That's… That's not…. IT'S NOT TRUE!!!" he yelled. He shivered of the cold raindrops that hit him, realizing that his so-called conscious might be right…
He did feel like that, didn't he?
He walked further, thinking about those things. He did feel that way, he did. Kagome had the full right to hate him.
Why did you have your eyes shut, Inuyasha…
"I don't know why I didn't see it. I don't know. Maybe I did see it, but didn't want to see it."
Things that happened can't be changed…
… But they can be corrected…
…Inuyasha…
~*~
Isn't that creepy? I mean, with the Underlined, Bold and Italic characters? I think it's a little psychological… Creepy… ^.~ Anyway, what do you think so far? I did really take a long time, ne? But it was worth it… I'm really gonna write soon now, okay??? YEAH!!
By the way, I'm having some strong signals from a certain someone (Slycat… ^.~) that the songfics are boring. I can fully understand that actually, 'cause most of the songs are of unknown Dutch bands… So tell me if I should quit those. I really wanna know if you think it's boring. TELL ME!!!