Thanks for reading. Provided that you are reading. Oh gosh, I'm talking to nobody aren't I? Man.

The Council of Elrond

Legolas was alone with the old man. An unbearable silence had erupted and the twins  "had other things to do" so they left the two to "share old times".

Legolas looked closely at Estel. "Why did you do that?" he asked.

"Do what?"

"Why did you pretend we knew each other?" said Legolas.

Estel chuckled. "You pretended too."

Nobody said anything.

"You've been having a hard time," said Estel finally.

Legolas was startled. Estel couldn't possibly know? Could he? "No," said Legolas, "I've been fine. Just great."

Estel chuckled again. "Is that so? Have a look at yourself man, you look like you've come out of a volcano."

Legolas looked at his ripped pink dress that was covered in mud and pouted.

"Aw, it's ok," said Estel, patting him affectionately on the shoulder, "But I suggest you clean yourself up before Elrond sees you."

::::::

After Legolas had cleaned up a bit and changed into something more appropriate, he began thinking about a plausible explanation to his abrupt arrival.

                  His thoughts were interrupted by a bell ringing and voices calling. Whatever was happening, Legolas didn't want around when it happened. He decided to go and "be on a walk that very unfortunately caused him to miss the event". He didn't go unnoticed. The Elf that had earlier asked for his name appeared out of nowhere and grasped his arm. "That is the warning bell for Elrond's council," he said, "He is expecting you to make your 'news' announcement." The elf lead him away, smirking.

                  He placed Legolas in a chair and took the seat beside him, his gaze fixed firmly on the trembling elf.

                  Legolas squirmed. He didn't like being watched so intently. His attention shifted to the other attendees. There were some dwarves, some men, some other beings and plenty of elves. They all looked very glum. Estel was the only one looking vaguely cheerful. He caught Legolas's eye and winked. Legolas blushed.

                  Presently a wizard, who Legolas recognised, and a hobbit entered. The hobbit looked near death, but Legolas found him rather striking. The hobbit looked around nervously as Elrond spoke with them. Legolas watched with fascination as the hobbit sat down.

                  A very wrinkled dwarf got up. "It is now many years ago…" he began. Legolas yawned and sank into his chair. Dwarves could be so boring.

                  He twiddled his thumbs and stroked his hair. That did not sustain his interest for long. After the dwarf finally finished, Elrond, Gandalf and other people inserted comments.

                  Legolas sank lower into his chair and he started thinking of Mirkwood and his past husbands. His thoughts trailed to his new love and he suddenly realised that he was sitting on her!

                  Legolas jumped up, interrupting Aragorn. "Alas! Alas!" cried Legolas, and in his fair elvish face there was great distress. Far too late he realised what he had done. The entire council was looking at him, or rather, they were looking at his waving hand that held his crumpled love.

                  Legolas hastily put his love into his shirt. He broke into sweat when the situation dawned on him. He was "the bearer of news" and he had now just set himself up to reveal all.

                  Legolas swallowed, replaying everything that had just been said from his subconscious memory. Aragorn had talked about Gollum being in prison. So his father had locked him up after all! This brought back stinging memories from five decades ago. Oh how he missed his sweet, sweet, ex-husband – his pale, translucent skin, his extraordinarily long limbs, his single strands of hair, his split personality.

                  He took a deep breath. Now was not the time for regrets, it was time for revenge. "The tidings I was sent to bring must now be told!" he proclaimed, and with that, a whole new chunk of history was invented.

                  Legolas spoke passionately about Gollum being allowed to climb trees and guards watching him as he did. Then one day orcs attacked and took the guards and Gollum ran away!

                  Yay! thought Legolas, imagine that!

                  Little did he know that this was not far from the truth.

                  "Well, well, he is gone," said Gandalf after he'd finished and so the matter was closed.

                  Legolas sat back down, relieved that his ugly secrets had not been unleashed. Then, realising his betrayal of his ex-love, Legolas suffered silently as the council went on.