Ok I'm being a bad writer… I'm posting the sad ending first. I wrote this while listening to all sad music of Inuyasha… I hope it improved the feel of this! If you have the music I strongly suggest you'd play it. It adds another dimension… Ok, that was a little strange. Just read it and tell me what you thought.
Final Breakdowns and Still Doubting
Chapter 30- Sad Epilogue
The next day Kagome packed everything with a plain face. She showed no emotion whatsoever… meaning she was so sad and hopeless, she just couldn't and wouldn't show it anymore. Inuyasha had to proof worthy of her trust all these months by going with her, or break her trust apart by staying… After all that happened in her life, the most important thing still had to come.
The final decision.
And still no clue where this could be going…
~*~
Everything had to end… Inuyasha realized it now. All things end sometime in your life.
Dangerous battles with youkai end.
Quests for shards of some jewel end.
Relationships end.
Nothing lasts forever…
A single tear forced his way out and dropped down his cheek, leaving a minuscule stain on his red haori. Today was the day… It would end.
~*~
Kagome walked out and raised her head towards the sky. Clouds slowly drifted by, the sun shone its rays on the earth, eager to wake up all living creatures and plants, seeing them grow older day by day...
How she'd miss this pure era…
Oh, how she'd miss the pure smell of nature.
So many stars could be seen here when you looked at the sky at nights… Mostly she watched them at the night of the new moon. Together with…
The new moon…
It reminded her of him… How he'd soften when he was human!
Her hopes being squashed again the next day…
Soon it would be all over…
"Guys! Wake up… I… We'll be going soon." She said while gently trying to wake her companions.
"So the day has come…" Miroku sighed. That hanyou still hadn't made up his mind…
"It has. Would you all pack your stuff?"
A simultaneous 'yes' could be heard, though it sounded not so enthusiastic.
No wonder, with all of them wondering when their friend would finally give up his attitude for his own good…
~*~
From the very beginning he knew it had to end. Deep down inside, he knew. He couldn't share his entire life with a girl from the future. More importantly, that girl was a reincarnation of his love…
Kikyo.
His friendship and relationship with Kikyo had ended too… This girl being her ancestor…
History just had to repeat itself.
~*~
Kagome got down and lifted her backpack on her back. Heavy as always. But nothing was heavier than the tears and rage she was holding back. After all they had been through…
She still was Kikyo to him.
Swallowing away her tears, she remembered herself that if he still saw her that way, it was no use whatsoever. It would never change, no matter how much she wanted it. If he still saw her as a mere reflection, well then, so be it.
Tired of being Kikyo's shadow, Kagome walked out the door, telling the others to be at the well in 5 minutes.
Five minutes left to see him. To convince him. To lose him…
~*~
Inuyasha sighed again. It just wasn't meant to be. A girl from the future… Feh! Now that was something to hold on to… No. He'd just accept his fate.
"Inuyasha! We're going in five minutes!"
So… He had five minutes left to smell her scent…
Five minutes to see her face…
Five minutes to realize again that she wasn't like Kikyo…
Five minutes… To realize it was all too late…
Five minutes to lose her.
~*~
Kagome heard the leaves rustle and saw a red figure jump down. Inuyasha… Her love, her friend, but still… Her pain, her insecurity…
Her life.
Without saying a word Inuyasha held her in a tight embrace, stroking her hair, feeling her body ache a bit. Shivering, trying not to cry, Kagome held him and closed her eyes. Suddenly she broke their moment and stared at him with no expression.
"I…" she cleared her throat and corrected herself, "We are going…"
"I'll walk you guys to the well…" Inuyasha said, unknowingly knowing how she felt inside.
Because it was exactly the same way as he felt.
~*~
Walking up the path to the well, Miroku whispered to Sango, "I hope Inuyasha clears out his mind…"
"I know… He'd better get his ass going and do something because all he knows and is familiar with is slipping away from him!"
"I just hope he won't tear Kagome apart… Or tear himself apart for that matter…"
"All we can do is hope… Though I slightly lost my faith in Inuyasha…"
~*~
Kagome and Inuyasha reached the well at the same time as Miroku, Sango and Shippo.
"So… I guess you're still not coming with us…?" Miroku said hesitantly. He looked at him with knowing eyes, trying to convince him he was doing the wrong thing.
"No…" The word slipped out his mouth. Past his lips. Crushed the hope of his friends
~*~
That was it… The word she had been waiting for… No…
No, I don't want to go with you
No, I don't like you
No, I don't think you're anything more than Kikyo
No, I don't love you
No, I don't act stubborn, I mean it
No, I won't cherish my memories with you
No, I don't want you around as a mere excuse for Kikyo
No, I won't… won't remember you as Kagome…
"Inuyasha… Osuwari…" Kagome sighed. Inuyasha's face met the dirt for the very last time… And Kagome sat down.
"I'll just… remove these now…" Kagome stretched out her hand, being cut off by Inuyasha's snarl.
"No! Leave them on!" he said, his hand clutching the beads around his neck.
"Okay… If that's what you want… If this is what you want…"
"Leave them on…"
"I guess… We should be going now." Kagome said suddenly, raising to her feet, "Has everyone got everything?"
They just nodded in response, sending their worried and angry glares to Inuyasha. So he didn't want to be thoughtful… Just strong, as always. Nothing had changed in him. You'd think the quest had taught him something. You'd think the whole thing with Kikyo would've bashed some sense into his head. But he still remained the same… the same hanyou that wanted to become strong. Strong like the youkai that had spit on him. Strong like his dad. Strong, so that he could protect himself… and the ones he loved…
Which he was totally failing to do right now…
"OK, guys just… just… just take my hand, okay?" she said, her eyes becoming wet, her mouth tightly shut so that she could hold it in. Her tears being ones of loneliness, of anger, of disappointment, of betrayal.
While the others grabbed her hand and she stood on the edge of the well she turned around and whispered:
"Just know that I loved you, Inuyasha… I always will…"
At his gaze of surprise and indecisiveness she jumped in with the others. Letting her tears flow, screaming his name with her heart breaking…
"INUYASHA!!!"
"W-wait…"
He winced in shock. The very second she jumped in, he knew. He realized his horrible mistake… He realized his stubbornness. He realized she was his everything…
His life.
With hollow pits of darkness being his eyes, he turned around. He slowly started to walk away, away of that well. The place seemed to have cursed him a long time ago. His feet taking him to the Goshimboku, he slowly started crying. More and more wet spots stained his haori and he smashed his fist into the old tree…
Everything…
He hit the tree again.
Everything had to end!
But why had he forced the end? Why had he denied that he could do something to postpone it?
Why hadn't he just come… come with her…
Her eyes were his bottomless pits of happiness.
Her face was that of a love lost long ago…
… But it didn't resemble that face.
The strings of her hair were the strings that held his fate.
She was everything he had lived for…and now it was gone…
Gone…
He touched the beads on his neck. Her way to hold him... And get him back to normal when he turned youkai.
Youkai…
And so he decided. He took out Tetsusaiga, and smashed it into the Goshimboku tree. With all power that lay within him he hit the spot where Kikyo's arrow had been, 50 years ago. He let go of the sword and broke down sobbing…
He would turn youkai. Being strong… What he had always wanted.
His heart was empty. His eyes tired of crying. His tears still flowing.
Soon, he wouldn't have to feel any emotion.
He would be what he had always wanted to be…
And knew that he was running…
Running away…
The only option.
~*~
Kagome let her friends in, they all watched her silently… She couldn't take it!
"Mom… Please welcome them, I- I'll be right back…" she said while leaving her friends with her mom, deciding she needed to cry, cry her eyes out…
She lay down on her bed with her tears flowing. She smashed her fist into her pillow and started to cry inexhaustible. Why, why, why, why!
"Inuyasha… Inuyasha… WHY DID YOU HAVE TO BE LIKE THIS!" she broke down sobbing again, "You could've at least told me what you thought…" she whispered, "Maybe you could've overcome your stubbornness and… and…"
She smashed her pillow again, trying to get her sadness, her anger out. But it was no use.
He had broken her heart into pieces.
And to complete and purify it again… The quest would be much longer than this had been.
She had to do it on her own. Collecting the shards of her broken heart…
And she knew she'd try to jump down the well a dozen times.
~*~
So there you have it. The best of all my sadness was collected in here… Geez, I actually feel bad for letting them go through this… *snif* Tell me what you thought about this. I'm actually kinda proud… I do like it this way. It's what I wanted it to be, it just turned out to be a little longer than I expected. Soon the happy ending will be up to. I'm too proud of this to post them together… ^_~ 'Cause I expect the happy ending to be corny… But I guess happy endings sooth peoples fears of them going apart in the series… -_- Another weird comment. I'm just a little floating in psychological thoughts 'cause this was so sad… Leave me a review.
And kick me if you thought this was too sad…