Author's Note: This story begins during the Second year at Hogwarts, during the Chamber of Secrets and will continue as time goes on. This is my first Harry Potter fanfic and along with my friend, ElfFlame, we are writing a series of four stories, which begins with ElfFlame's story- True Revenge. All four of these stories are interrelated and for the best understanding of the characters as we see them, they should be read in conjunction to each other. As always, I own none of this wonderful world that JK Rowling has created.
Author's Note: At this point in time I would just like to say that in telling events of this story from Lucius Malfoy's point of view, I am merely showing his frame of mind. I do not in any way condone or promote the things he does.
Spoiler Warning: This story contains spoilers, both minor and major from all five Harry Potter books.
Wicked Lee: I'm so glad that you're still enjoying this story. It's getting close to the end and I'm excited that you're still finding things you like about it! This chapter is pretty dark, so be warned.
TavingtonRose: I'm glad you liked the last chapter, here's another one, it's pretty dark, so be warned.
Arsinoe: Severus is very old fashioned when it comes to child rearing, I agree. Draco's reaction to Renata won't be explored in this story, but my friend ElfFlame is writing the 4th part of this series, entitled, Draco's Tears. It tells his part of this story, and will go more into detail with his relationship with his sister. She'll be posting it soon, so keep an eye out for it!
Year 5
Book 6
Reflection
Notes: This chapter is very dark, with disturbing images and violence. Also, now that this has moved beyond where the books are, this story has entered the realm of speculation, and has theories that ElfFlame and I have about where the rest of the books may lead.
Lucius lay on the floor of his Azkaban prison cell. The cold stone floor had become his bed over the past month since his imprisonment. The cell was so small, he was unable to stand up fully, and was forced to stay lying on the ground. He was engulfed in darkness, for his master had made sure he was put in a special cell with no windows, and no sources of light. There were no pieces of furniture, and the only toilet he had was a hole in the floor. His thin prison garb did nothing to block the cold air from hitting his skin and causing him to shiver.
He was fed once a day: a cup of water, and a bowl of thin soup made of water and onions. There were pieces of things Lucius couldn't identify in the soup, he suspected it was maggots, but ate it all anyway. He'd quickly learned that his hunger wouldn't be sated by picky eating. One time, Lucius caught a rat while it was sinking it's teeth into his arm. His cell was overrun with rats, and the sounds they made and the feel of them crawling over his body kept him awake at night. His hunger was so great, he didn't think about it when he broke the rat's neck and quickly ate it. It was raw, for he had no cooking fire, but Lucius didn't care. He ate everything but the tail, because it kept getting stuck in his throat and his gagging threatened to bring the rest of his precious meal up again. He never thought he would be capable of such things, but his instincts were strong and would not accept anything less than survival.
The dementors had left Azkaban, but that didn't stop Lucius from feeling like all the happiness that he'd ever felt in his life, had been sapped from his body. The physical torture he'd been subjected to in the past, paled in comparison to the hell he was putting himself through, thinking about what had become of his life over the past couple of months.
Lucius' days and nights were filled with thoughts about how he'd ended up in Azkaban. The break-in at the Ministry of Magic had been meticulously planned for all possibilities, yet things had still managed to go horribly awry. He'd led his Death Eaters into the room filled with prophecies, where they'd waited for Potter to arrive. Unfortunately, Potter had arrived with a gaggle of his school friends who'd created a few snags in the plan. Lucius was unsuccessful in persuading Potter to hand over the prophecy. Running, chasing, and a game of keep away from the Death Eaters had ensued. The children had obviously learned some powerful defensive spells and had been able to put up a worthy fight, though the Death Eaters got in a few good blows of their own.
Things were looking good for the Death Eaters, until the reinforcements arrived. Dumbledore, Moody, and other members of the Order of the Phoenix, showed up to help even the odds. The only bright moment in the entire fiasco was watching Bella kill Black, her idiotic cousin.
The worst moment came when that Potter prat let the prophecy fall. It had broken, destroying any chance of Lucius' redemption in his master's eyes. The broken prophecy had been the last nail in Lucius' coffin, for the Dark Lord had warned him that this was his final chance to prove himself. If he failed this, his master would no longer show restraint or mercy for him. Lucius's stomach was tied in knots and he began to panic as he realized the Dark Lord would most likely kill him for this failure. He didn't know that the Dark Lord had different plans for him.
Lord Voldemort had been forced to enter the Ministry of Magic himself that night to bail his pitiful Death Eaters out. The only one who'd been able to return to his side had been Bella, who'd done a very good job groveling before him. He'd taken her back with him, leaving the other failures to be arrested by Fudge and put in Azkaban prison. The Dark Lord felt that some time in prison might teach his Death Eaters a lesson in failing him. He'd made special arrangements for Lucius with Fudge. Lucius was to be kept in solitary confinement, deep within the bowels of the prison. He was to receive no more than starvation rations, in order to break him down. The Dark Lord needed Lucius to be as broken as possible for his plans to ensnare Adriana.
He'd left Adriana alone for the past few months, letting her put her child into hiding, allowing her to grow tired and anxious. Adriana's nerves would be frazzled and perhaps her attitude towards joining his side would be vastly improved. Especially if she saw how it could save her beloved Lucius' life.
The Dark Lord had formed what he felt was a brilliant plan in order to both draw Adriana to his side and move his headquarters to a more centrally located home. He'd made other arrangements with Fudge to have Lucius' family evicted from Malfoy Manor, so that he and his Death Eaters could take over the space. Through his research, the Dark Lord had also found out that Narcissa and Adriana had somewhat of a tentative friendship with one another. He found that a most fascinating and helpful detail that he might be able to use to his advantage some day.
Lucius found his thoughts turning more and more to Adriana during his dark days in Azkaban. Her beautiful face was the only thing that kept him going. It was a scary moment for Lucius when he realized that he was still in love with Adriana. He wanted to be with her, he didn't care if she was a Mudblood, she was a better person than he and any other Death Eater was. It was inevitable that the Dark Lord was probably going to torture him to death, so there was nothing to be lost by admitting his love for Adriana.
Lucius thought about the life he'd had with Adriana. He'd been happy, content, and had come to enjoy the simple pleasures in life, like helping bring in the apple harvest, or making love to Adriana in the hay loft. Those memories brought a smile to his face. He wanted to go back to that. He wanted to have that life again.
He wondered if Adriana would have taken him back if he hadn't failed his master. If he could escape from the Dark Lord, and return to Adriana, would she have him? His words and actions had been unforgivable that day. An image of her pain-filled face came to his mind. He'd been a bastard to her. Even if the Dark Lord allowed him to live, he doubted that Adriana would deem him worthy of coming back to her.
Lucius thought about the little girl he'd seen in his dream a year ago. Maybe it had been a vision of the child he and Adriana would have had if he'd stayed with her instead of rejoining the Dark Lord. He wanted that child in his life, but knew it was just a dream. Perhaps, in another life, Adriana would allow him back in her life, and they could have a child together. Some days, it was that fantasy that helped him make it through the day.
One night, when Lucius was able to sleep, he had another dream about that girl. The little girl was younger than he'd seen in his first dream, about a year old. She had wispy silver-blonde hair that was held back by a green headband with a silver bow. She was being held in Draco's arms. Draco was smiling and laughing at the baby. This happy vision was shattered as Snape entered the picture. He put his arm about Draco, bent down and kissed the baby, and after a minute, they walked away, out of Lucius' sight. Lucius woke up with a start, and was unable to sleep after that.
Lucius' dreams were very vivid in Azkaban, and most were not sweet. Another night, Lucius dreamt of Adriana. They had been dancing at the New Year's Masque before returning to her house. They'd made love until the sun rose the next morning. He could feel her body in his hands, her soft skin, her smooth hair. He could feel his lips pressed against her lips, her breasts, her thighs. As they parted from one another, and rose for the day, they left the room. As Adriana was walking to the living room, the front door flew open and Snape barged into the house. He demanded that she choose between himself and Lucius. Adriana looked shocked and glanced back and forth between the two men. Adriana approached Lucius, grabbed his arm, and pushed him outside onto the porch. Once there, she shoved him hard and he fell down the stairs, landing on his backside, to stare in horror up at her. She glared at him, then turned without speaking, returned to the house, and slammed the door.
These dreams tortured Lucius more than anything the Dark Lord or the Death Eaters had done to him. Then one day, something happened that made him wonder if that statement was true or not.
The door to Lucius' prison cell opened shortly after his food had arrived. This startled him, for it had never happened before. A figure stood in the doorway, though Lucius could only see a silhouette. "Get up!" A gruff voice called out to him. Lucius put his hands on the floor and pushed himself up. Coming to a crouch, he shuffled slowly out of the room that had been his home for the past month. Standing up fully as he approached the doorway, he took a step, before collapsing to the floor. He felt tremendous pain as his cheekbone struck against the hard stone with a loud crunching noise. Lucius was too weak to lift himself up again, and felt the man's hands being placed on his shoulders and pulling him up off the ground. "Stand up! I'm not going to carry you, you will either walk or crawl out of here!" Lucius was in the light enough to see the ugly face of Pettigrew snarling at him.
Lucius put a hand on his cheek, his head throbbed. There was no way he was able to walk. He had no other choice but to crawl. A sense of shame and humiliation washed over Lucius as he lowered his hand to the ground, and slowly began to crawl away from his cell.
As Pettigrew walked behind him, he kicked Lucius in the kidneys at intervals. Every few steps, another swift jab to his back would send pain flooding through his body. After awhile, Pettigrew grew bored of kicking and took out a whip he'd brought with him, and began to lash Lucius with every step.
Finally, they reached the stairs. Lucius looked up and saw that they went on almost forever. Sighing, and biting his quivering lip, Lucius put one hand in front of the other, and began the long ascent. By the time he'd finally reached the top of the stairs, Lucius wondered if he had any flesh on his back left to whip. The crawling and whipping continued until they'd left the prison altogether and Pettigrew apparated both of them back to Malfoy Manor.
Lucius couldn't have been more shocked to find himself in his bedroom. What was happening? Where was Narcissa? Why were they here? He was left alone with these questions for a few minutes before the Dark Lord entered the room. Lucius was on the floor, lying on his stomach, trying to gather what little strength he had for whatever might happen to him. He wanted to pull himself up on his hands, to look at the Dark Lord. If he was going to kill Lucius, Lucius would meet death with his eyes wide open, looking it in the face.
The Dark Lord did not say the words, "Avada Kedavra," instead bent down to look Lucius in the face. "Lucius, you're not looking so well today. What's the matter? You let Pettigrew beat you while you were down? That's not like you!" The Dark Lord laughed sadistically at Lucius. Lucius didn't have a good feeling about this and wondered if death might not be a better thing for him than what was surely in store for him. The Dark Lord gave him the promise that by the time he was finished with him, Lucius would be begging him to kill him in order to end the pain.
The torture began in earnest the next morning. The Death Eaters who were on duty that day participated in it. This made all the pain he'd endured from the Dark Lord before this point pale in comparison. Days turned into weeks, though Lucius could no longer tell the passage of time. He was in a stupor for most of it. The Dark Lord and the other Death Eaters liked to torture Lucius until he was on the brink of death, then heal him halfway. This would be repeated on a daily basis, until Lucius' mind faded away, fleeing from his body, allowing him to endure the pain for another day.
Lucius was fed a cup of water and some thin gruel every few days, just to keep him alive enough to continue the torture. The Dark Lord wanted him to be barely alive for Adriana, and that wouldn't have taken more than a day or so to do, but then he and his Death Eaters would have missed out on all this fun.
During the times when he could open his eyes, Lucius always looked towards the nightstand next to his bed. The painting and photograph of Adriana that she'd given him for Christmas a few years ago still stood there. He hadn't gotten rid of them, despite thinking he hadn't wanted her in his life any longer. Her face helped him survive. Her images helped fill him with hope and a sense of peace, even as the beatings and pain continued so strongly. He would live to see her again. They would be together again...some day.
Author's Note: At this point in time I would just like to say that in telling events of this story from Lucius Malfoy's point of view, I am merely showing his frame of mind. I do not in any way condone or promote the things he does.
Spoiler Warning: This story contains spoilers, both minor and major from all five Harry Potter books.
Wicked Lee: I'm so glad that you're still enjoying this story. It's getting close to the end and I'm excited that you're still finding things you like about it! This chapter is pretty dark, so be warned.
TavingtonRose: I'm glad you liked the last chapter, here's another one, it's pretty dark, so be warned.
Arsinoe: Severus is very old fashioned when it comes to child rearing, I agree. Draco's reaction to Renata won't be explored in this story, but my friend ElfFlame is writing the 4th part of this series, entitled, Draco's Tears. It tells his part of this story, and will go more into detail with his relationship with his sister. She'll be posting it soon, so keep an eye out for it!
Year 5
Book 6
Reflection
Notes: This chapter is very dark, with disturbing images and violence. Also, now that this has moved beyond where the books are, this story has entered the realm of speculation, and has theories that ElfFlame and I have about where the rest of the books may lead.
Lucius lay on the floor of his Azkaban prison cell. The cold stone floor had become his bed over the past month since his imprisonment. The cell was so small, he was unable to stand up fully, and was forced to stay lying on the ground. He was engulfed in darkness, for his master had made sure he was put in a special cell with no windows, and no sources of light. There were no pieces of furniture, and the only toilet he had was a hole in the floor. His thin prison garb did nothing to block the cold air from hitting his skin and causing him to shiver.
He was fed once a day: a cup of water, and a bowl of thin soup made of water and onions. There were pieces of things Lucius couldn't identify in the soup, he suspected it was maggots, but ate it all anyway. He'd quickly learned that his hunger wouldn't be sated by picky eating. One time, Lucius caught a rat while it was sinking it's teeth into his arm. His cell was overrun with rats, and the sounds they made and the feel of them crawling over his body kept him awake at night. His hunger was so great, he didn't think about it when he broke the rat's neck and quickly ate it. It was raw, for he had no cooking fire, but Lucius didn't care. He ate everything but the tail, because it kept getting stuck in his throat and his gagging threatened to bring the rest of his precious meal up again. He never thought he would be capable of such things, but his instincts were strong and would not accept anything less than survival.
The dementors had left Azkaban, but that didn't stop Lucius from feeling like all the happiness that he'd ever felt in his life, had been sapped from his body. The physical torture he'd been subjected to in the past, paled in comparison to the hell he was putting himself through, thinking about what had become of his life over the past couple of months.
Lucius' days and nights were filled with thoughts about how he'd ended up in Azkaban. The break-in at the Ministry of Magic had been meticulously planned for all possibilities, yet things had still managed to go horribly awry. He'd led his Death Eaters into the room filled with prophecies, where they'd waited for Potter to arrive. Unfortunately, Potter had arrived with a gaggle of his school friends who'd created a few snags in the plan. Lucius was unsuccessful in persuading Potter to hand over the prophecy. Running, chasing, and a game of keep away from the Death Eaters had ensued. The children had obviously learned some powerful defensive spells and had been able to put up a worthy fight, though the Death Eaters got in a few good blows of their own.
Things were looking good for the Death Eaters, until the reinforcements arrived. Dumbledore, Moody, and other members of the Order of the Phoenix, showed up to help even the odds. The only bright moment in the entire fiasco was watching Bella kill Black, her idiotic cousin.
The worst moment came when that Potter prat let the prophecy fall. It had broken, destroying any chance of Lucius' redemption in his master's eyes. The broken prophecy had been the last nail in Lucius' coffin, for the Dark Lord had warned him that this was his final chance to prove himself. If he failed this, his master would no longer show restraint or mercy for him. Lucius's stomach was tied in knots and he began to panic as he realized the Dark Lord would most likely kill him for this failure. He didn't know that the Dark Lord had different plans for him.
Lord Voldemort had been forced to enter the Ministry of Magic himself that night to bail his pitiful Death Eaters out. The only one who'd been able to return to his side had been Bella, who'd done a very good job groveling before him. He'd taken her back with him, leaving the other failures to be arrested by Fudge and put in Azkaban prison. The Dark Lord felt that some time in prison might teach his Death Eaters a lesson in failing him. He'd made special arrangements for Lucius with Fudge. Lucius was to be kept in solitary confinement, deep within the bowels of the prison. He was to receive no more than starvation rations, in order to break him down. The Dark Lord needed Lucius to be as broken as possible for his plans to ensnare Adriana.
He'd left Adriana alone for the past few months, letting her put her child into hiding, allowing her to grow tired and anxious. Adriana's nerves would be frazzled and perhaps her attitude towards joining his side would be vastly improved. Especially if she saw how it could save her beloved Lucius' life.
The Dark Lord had formed what he felt was a brilliant plan in order to both draw Adriana to his side and move his headquarters to a more centrally located home. He'd made other arrangements with Fudge to have Lucius' family evicted from Malfoy Manor, so that he and his Death Eaters could take over the space. Through his research, the Dark Lord had also found out that Narcissa and Adriana had somewhat of a tentative friendship with one another. He found that a most fascinating and helpful detail that he might be able to use to his advantage some day.
Lucius found his thoughts turning more and more to Adriana during his dark days in Azkaban. Her beautiful face was the only thing that kept him going. It was a scary moment for Lucius when he realized that he was still in love with Adriana. He wanted to be with her, he didn't care if she was a Mudblood, she was a better person than he and any other Death Eater was. It was inevitable that the Dark Lord was probably going to torture him to death, so there was nothing to be lost by admitting his love for Adriana.
Lucius thought about the life he'd had with Adriana. He'd been happy, content, and had come to enjoy the simple pleasures in life, like helping bring in the apple harvest, or making love to Adriana in the hay loft. Those memories brought a smile to his face. He wanted to go back to that. He wanted to have that life again.
He wondered if Adriana would have taken him back if he hadn't failed his master. If he could escape from the Dark Lord, and return to Adriana, would she have him? His words and actions had been unforgivable that day. An image of her pain-filled face came to his mind. He'd been a bastard to her. Even if the Dark Lord allowed him to live, he doubted that Adriana would deem him worthy of coming back to her.
Lucius thought about the little girl he'd seen in his dream a year ago. Maybe it had been a vision of the child he and Adriana would have had if he'd stayed with her instead of rejoining the Dark Lord. He wanted that child in his life, but knew it was just a dream. Perhaps, in another life, Adriana would allow him back in her life, and they could have a child together. Some days, it was that fantasy that helped him make it through the day.
One night, when Lucius was able to sleep, he had another dream about that girl. The little girl was younger than he'd seen in his first dream, about a year old. She had wispy silver-blonde hair that was held back by a green headband with a silver bow. She was being held in Draco's arms. Draco was smiling and laughing at the baby. This happy vision was shattered as Snape entered the picture. He put his arm about Draco, bent down and kissed the baby, and after a minute, they walked away, out of Lucius' sight. Lucius woke up with a start, and was unable to sleep after that.
Lucius' dreams were very vivid in Azkaban, and most were not sweet. Another night, Lucius dreamt of Adriana. They had been dancing at the New Year's Masque before returning to her house. They'd made love until the sun rose the next morning. He could feel her body in his hands, her soft skin, her smooth hair. He could feel his lips pressed against her lips, her breasts, her thighs. As they parted from one another, and rose for the day, they left the room. As Adriana was walking to the living room, the front door flew open and Snape barged into the house. He demanded that she choose between himself and Lucius. Adriana looked shocked and glanced back and forth between the two men. Adriana approached Lucius, grabbed his arm, and pushed him outside onto the porch. Once there, she shoved him hard and he fell down the stairs, landing on his backside, to stare in horror up at her. She glared at him, then turned without speaking, returned to the house, and slammed the door.
These dreams tortured Lucius more than anything the Dark Lord or the Death Eaters had done to him. Then one day, something happened that made him wonder if that statement was true or not.
The door to Lucius' prison cell opened shortly after his food had arrived. This startled him, for it had never happened before. A figure stood in the doorway, though Lucius could only see a silhouette. "Get up!" A gruff voice called out to him. Lucius put his hands on the floor and pushed himself up. Coming to a crouch, he shuffled slowly out of the room that had been his home for the past month. Standing up fully as he approached the doorway, he took a step, before collapsing to the floor. He felt tremendous pain as his cheekbone struck against the hard stone with a loud crunching noise. Lucius was too weak to lift himself up again, and felt the man's hands being placed on his shoulders and pulling him up off the ground. "Stand up! I'm not going to carry you, you will either walk or crawl out of here!" Lucius was in the light enough to see the ugly face of Pettigrew snarling at him.
Lucius put a hand on his cheek, his head throbbed. There was no way he was able to walk. He had no other choice but to crawl. A sense of shame and humiliation washed over Lucius as he lowered his hand to the ground, and slowly began to crawl away from his cell.
As Pettigrew walked behind him, he kicked Lucius in the kidneys at intervals. Every few steps, another swift jab to his back would send pain flooding through his body. After awhile, Pettigrew grew bored of kicking and took out a whip he'd brought with him, and began to lash Lucius with every step.
Finally, they reached the stairs. Lucius looked up and saw that they went on almost forever. Sighing, and biting his quivering lip, Lucius put one hand in front of the other, and began the long ascent. By the time he'd finally reached the top of the stairs, Lucius wondered if he had any flesh on his back left to whip. The crawling and whipping continued until they'd left the prison altogether and Pettigrew apparated both of them back to Malfoy Manor.
Lucius couldn't have been more shocked to find himself in his bedroom. What was happening? Where was Narcissa? Why were they here? He was left alone with these questions for a few minutes before the Dark Lord entered the room. Lucius was on the floor, lying on his stomach, trying to gather what little strength he had for whatever might happen to him. He wanted to pull himself up on his hands, to look at the Dark Lord. If he was going to kill Lucius, Lucius would meet death with his eyes wide open, looking it in the face.
The Dark Lord did not say the words, "Avada Kedavra," instead bent down to look Lucius in the face. "Lucius, you're not looking so well today. What's the matter? You let Pettigrew beat you while you were down? That's not like you!" The Dark Lord laughed sadistically at Lucius. Lucius didn't have a good feeling about this and wondered if death might not be a better thing for him than what was surely in store for him. The Dark Lord gave him the promise that by the time he was finished with him, Lucius would be begging him to kill him in order to end the pain.
The torture began in earnest the next morning. The Death Eaters who were on duty that day participated in it. This made all the pain he'd endured from the Dark Lord before this point pale in comparison. Days turned into weeks, though Lucius could no longer tell the passage of time. He was in a stupor for most of it. The Dark Lord and the other Death Eaters liked to torture Lucius until he was on the brink of death, then heal him halfway. This would be repeated on a daily basis, until Lucius' mind faded away, fleeing from his body, allowing him to endure the pain for another day.
Lucius was fed a cup of water and some thin gruel every few days, just to keep him alive enough to continue the torture. The Dark Lord wanted him to be barely alive for Adriana, and that wouldn't have taken more than a day or so to do, but then he and his Death Eaters would have missed out on all this fun.
During the times when he could open his eyes, Lucius always looked towards the nightstand next to his bed. The painting and photograph of Adriana that she'd given him for Christmas a few years ago still stood there. He hadn't gotten rid of them, despite thinking he hadn't wanted her in his life any longer. Her face helped him survive. Her images helped fill him with hope and a sense of peace, even as the beatings and pain continued so strongly. He would live to see her again. They would be together again...some day.