Disclaimer: sigh...Random fact of the day: I own about three things:
Audrie, plot, and a whole bunch of pocket lint. Anyone want the lint? I'll
sell it really cheap! Anyway, anything else you recognize is probably
Tamora Pierce's, unless it's Billy Bob Joe's.
Author's Notes: Thanks to those who reviewed, including: Hyperchick 88, Keita, Hannirose, Forget-me-not (a loyal reviewer! Yay!), 'The Critic,' Balloonfuzz, Tiriana, and Eve of Mirkwood. (I'm trying to keep these short) Filler chapter! Extreme filler chapter! The first part is about Audrie and Selia. Don't ask, 'cause I'm not sure. If this is an extremely boring chapter, I'm really sorry, I'm just in a slight writers block right now.
~ ~ ~ ~
The next morning, Audrie groaned as she woke to find herself in the familiar surroundings of a noble's room. As if she hadn't had enough trouble already, Audrie knew she would have to deal with Roger's growing suspicions, though she couldn't figure out how he had guessed, along with the squire's wanting to know how she knew George, among other things, and some of the most boring noblewomen thinking her someone to converse with about how to call attention to themselves. Life was hard enough without troubles like this.
Indeed, Audrie had barely managed to add on the attachments of light brown hair before someone tapped on her door. Opening the door a crack, Audrie found it to be Selia.
"Oh my! What happened to your hair? It looks to be a dreadful mess!" Of course. Selia's first worry would always be appearances.
Muttering under her breath, Audrie opened to door entirely and motioned for Selia to enter. "Certainly there's something else you want to know, other than why my hair looks as though a ferret nested in it?"
"Oh, of course, of course, but first things first. You should look decent before opening your door. What if it had been Prince Jonathan?"
"Why would he have been bothering me? He has no interest in me, and the feeling is mutual. Please, just tell me what you want."
Instead, Selia went about ordering Sarri to help with Audrie's hair and clothes. The two went about happily playing with Audrie's hair, putting it up in several different hairstyles while Audrie sulked silently. Once they were done with Audrie's hair, now piled atop her head in a mass of ringlets, they went on to try different dresses on her as though she were a doll.
"Do you have some reason for this? If you don't, you can Just. Get. Out." Audrie nearly growled before she caught herself. Why were they so set upon having her look just perfect?
"Just having fun." Selia smiled sweetly, only to hesitate and look sad. "Truly, I need your help."
"Thank you finally getting on with it." Audrie commented sarcastically, "I do believe I got wrinkles while waiting."
"Wrinkles?! Oh dear, I have a solution for just that thing. Here, let me go get it." Selia made as though to leave the room.
"I was joking," Audrie smacked her forehead with her palm. "Don't you know dry wit when you hear it?"
"Jokes are supposed to be led up to. You know, with a punch line and all that. I've never heard such arbitrary humor before. It's rather odd."
"If you've never heard dry wit before, that's sad. A person can't be relaxed without a good bit of sarcasm and humor. What's life without them?"
"Boring." Selia's demeanor suddenly changed from perky and happy to rather dark. "Life without humor is boring. I should know."
"What do you mean? You've never seemed bored to me. The Goddess knows you find your conversation interesting enough."
"That's just it, I don't. Whenever pressed to start a conversation, I think up so many things that I would like to say, yet as soon as I start talking, some boring topic, like forks, pops out instead. I don't know how everyone else manages to find them interesting."
"So? Why are you coming to me?"
"I've seen the way you seem so...at home whenever you talk to someone. You suggested to me that if I wanted to get the Prince's attention I should start interesting conversation, but I always end up back at manners, or dancing, or clothes. Yet at the same time I see you walking with some of the most talented men here, all the while challenging their views, thinking up comments that make even the most serious laugh. I don't understand what I've done to become so boring."
"Try six years at a convent. That's probably what you've done."
"What do you mean?"
"Let's be honest, when you went to the convent, did you ever talk about anything other than manners, dancing, or clothes?"
"The Prince."
"Wow. Wide variety there."
"Really?" "I was being sarcastic. The truth is, the reason why you can't say anything else is probably because you're so used to saying nothing else. If you want to become interesting, you've got to break that habit."
"So how do I do that?"
"Write up a list of things you want to say during a conversation. They can be topics, whether it's political discrepancies or even who they think is most likely to become important, but it's best to pick something that can be debated over, preferably leaning more towards the serious side. Or, it can be random comments you want to insert into the conversation, usually more humorous, such as, 'Have you ever considered taking up yodeling?'. The arbitrariness of these comments should surprise a laugh out of at least one person."
"Will that help?"
"Yes, but it won't solve your problem entirely. Once you become more in habit of thinking up thought provoking topics and comments, you shouldn't use a list. I'm not even sure this will work. It's something that should just come natural, really."
"Oh." Selia's voice fell. "I was just hoping..."
"Stop being so submissive. Just stop. That's one step to being less boring."
"But...Won't men think that I'm rude, or worse yet, unfeminine?"
"What gave you the impression that people think me polite, or, worse yet, feminine? I shudder at the very thought. If you want to be those, stick to what you are now."
"Rude but interesting or polite but boring?"
"Beyond all hell." Muttered Audrie.
"What did you say?"
"Nothing that you would care to know."
"Oh really? And what makes you so suddenly think yourself to be as high as to know what I would and would not like to know?!"
"So you have a temper. Amazing, wouldn't have guessed."
"Oh, oh my, I'm so sorry to have snapped!" Selia began apologizing to the point of nearly prostrating herself.
"Would you stop that? I was approving, not vice versa." "Hmm? Oh."
"Now are you going to continue babbling or can I go to breakfast? I'm hungry."
"Will you help me?"
"Are you that weak? Try it on your own first. If you're dying like a fish out of water, flopping around indecently, Goddess forbid, I'll go ahead and throw you back in and help out."
"What?"
"Never mind."
Suddenly Selia laughed. After receiving a strange look from Audrie, the two went out together to the dining room. Unfortunately, there it was proved once more that the seating arranger was out to get Audrie. It was no longer paranoia.
She had been placed next to Selia, to dig her out once she was six feet under, along with a certain Duke Roger, Jonathan and Delia, both of whom seemed to be much happier, proving to Audrie that the fight had ended. Audrie was tempted to simply slam her head against the table and then leave. Unfortunately, Roger didn't seem to want to let her.
"Ah, Lady Audrelinia. You slept well, I presume?" Roger smiled thinly.
"Judging from the circles under your eyes, much better than you." This time, Audrie didn't bother covering her lack of manners and sharp tongue.
"And judging from your general appearance, you indeed slept well...With a bird in your hair." It seemed Roger was rather prepared for her spoken barbs.
"So, erm..." Selia stepped in with hopes of keeping the minor insults to just that: minor.
"Ah, yes, Lady Selia." Jonathan seemed as pleased to see Selia as he would to see a whale in the main hall. "A pleasure, truly."
"Yes, truly." Agreed Delia wryly.
"So, what's your opinion on the latest...dance?"
Audrie cut in with a sharp cough that soon turned into prolonged hacking as Selia searched urgently for a more interesting topic.
"Are you alright?" Jonathan asked, though the look in his eyes was more one of gratefulness that Selia had been delayed than one of concern.
"Of course, of course." Audrie couldn't cough for forever. Either Selia thought of a topic or Audrie gave up on the noble.
"Personally, I think your father was a fool to allow the Tusaine War to occur." Selia finally began, much to the surprise of the others.
Most could only stare, until finally Jonathan killed the silence. "And why do you think that?"
"If he had kept better control of his borders, it never would have happened. Instead, he was lax on border patrols and showed weakness to his enemies, letting them seep in and start a war that lost many lives."
A tiny smile crept onto Audrie's face. So the girl had more than just dust in her head after all. "I agree entirely. What do you think, Roger?" The challenge was irresistible.
"A lie in its entirety. No one could have prevented such an inevitable war."
The debate lasted for the rest of the meal, the floor passing from person to person, though there was a particular tone of competitiveness in both Audrie and Roger's voices. In the end, however, much to Audrie's disappointment, those siding against her, Roger and Delia included, won the debate. At the end of dinner, Audrie rejoined with Selia as they left.
"Good enough," Audrie admitted, "I wasn't sure it was physically possible for you to be so intelligent."
"I can be, I just often forget to."
Audrie snorted. "Right, right. Either way, work on it. Perhaps you're not hopeless after all." With that, Audrie left.
~ ~ ~ ~
Throughout the rest of the day, Audrie successfully managed to avoid both Duke Roger and Squire Alan, mostly through luck. Afternoon and evening were spent rather dully, with only a small interlude of Audrie watering her horseweed once more. Unfortunately, nothing of particular interest occurred during the interlude, nor dinner. Only once Audrie was in her room did anything beyond the norm occur.
Upon opening her door, she saw a smiling figure sitting on her bed, and this time it wasn't Jered. Instead, it was Duke Roger, grinning pleasantly at Audrie's surprise.
"You're not the only one who appears in the most mysterious of places."
"What's that supposed to mean?" Audrie snapped.
"Only what you think it does. Now, on the subject of my loincloths."
"I have no interest in your loincloths, despite their rather odd colors."
"Despite their rather odd colors?"
"Personally, I never considered pink to suit you."
"And how did you know my loincloths were pink?"
"So they were? I was guessing." And it was true, she hadn't known. Actually, it was rather disturbing that Roger wore pink loincloths.
"Of course. But you know why I'm here."
"Actually, I don't." This time it was a lie, not that Audrie would tell Roger that. "And I would prefer it if you would tell me some other time, when I'm not preparing for bed."
"You go to bed so early?"
"Far earlier than you, obviously."
At that instant there was a slight tapping sound from one of the walls. The tapping, coincidentally, seemed to come directly from a painting of King Roald. Nearly cursing, Audrie began to talk far more loudly in hopes that the person within the passage would guess that now was not a proper time to just enter.
"So. I'm. Kind. Of. Busy. Right. Now. Would. You. Mind. Leaving?" Audrie's sudden change in manner and the strange tapping on the wall told Roger there was something in the passage.
"Of course. I never meant to bother you."
With a sickening smile, Roger departed with sever gravity, allowing Audrie to breath a sigh of relief. She had just been about to let whoever was in the passage in when it occurred to her that Roger had left rather eagerly. Too eagerly, if anything.
Opening her door, Audrie found herself staring face to face with Roger, who only nodded and strode off down the hall. Once more that man had proven himself to be untrustworthy.
Audrie entered her room again, this time to find Jered standing by the wall.
"What was that all about?" He beamed at her.
"Nothing you want to know." Audrie groaned. "I'm up to my waist in idiotic blunderers and suspicious lords." "I thought we gave you this deal in hopes that you wouldn't do such things." Jered frowned at her.
"I'm trying. It's far more challenging than I thought. I've nearly gone insane giving off conversation advice and avoiding people at the same time. I swear, there's someone out to kill me, what with the way I keep running into the most annoying people at the most inconvenient timing. I think it's the seating arranger, but I can't quite be sure."
Nodding sympathetically, Jered threw an arm around Audrie's shoulders. "Poor soul, I feel so sorry for you."
"Right." Audrie shrugged off her friends arm and false understanding. "Sure you do."
"Of course!" Jered insisted, "Everyone at the Dancing Dove feels bad for you, what with all you're going through."
"Uh huh. What are you here for, anyways?"
"To check up on your sanity. The thing's nearly all gone."
"Seriously."
"Seriously? I'm here just to talk to you. I wouldn't want you going all soft and noble on us. It's my duty to make sure you're all well."
"And to pick up what I stole on Tuesday, am I right?" Audrie showed him to the reasonable stash in her closet.
"Yup. And to make sure you don't go returning everything. We'll change what we don't want into coins and give you your fair share. Anything in particular you want to keep?"
"Oh, sure," Audrie sighed, "I'll go ahead and keep this pin."
"A pin?" Jered raised an eyebrow. "I never thought you to be one to keep a pin."
"For a friend, I suppose. Not of much interest to me."
"Sure."
"Is that all?"
"Not much else. Care for a drink?" Jered took out a flask of liquor and pulled out the cork.
"More than you could know. The strongest thing they give you here is wine. Watered down wine at that."Audrie took the flask from Jered. "Poor soul."
"Right." Taking a deep gulp of the drink, Audrie ignored Jered's comments.
The two talked like old friends, and chatted late into the night. By the time Jered finally left, Audrie had gotten most of her worries off her chest, though she 'failed' to mention anything about Roger. While she had drank a decent amount, Audrie knew that her tolerance level was such that she wouldn't get a hangover the next day, and thus flopped in bed with few worries.
~ ~ ~ ~
The next day Audrie woke up with, sure enough, almost no headache, only a lingering sense of pain at staring at bright light. Assuming she stayed inside for the first few hours of the day, Audrie deemed that she would be fine.
At breakfast little to nothing happened. Selia finally managed to bring up interesting subjects, and even make a few humorous comments, though it was clear that each time she did so she was looking intently at an index card in her palm.
Audrie took her sufferable seating arrangements to mean that the rest of the day would be relatively pleasant, and left the dining hall with a light heart. Once she was outside the hall, Raoul came to greet her.
"Good afternoon." Audrie nodded an acknowledgment of the tall night.
"Lady Audrelinia." Raoul bowed.
"Don't do that," Audrie whispered in his ear as she took him by the elbow and steered him out of the room.
"Don't do what?" Raoul didn't bother to keep his voice down nearly as much.
"Bow. If you bow, I have to curtsey in reply."
"So?"
"I can't curtsey!" Audrie whispered fervently.
"Ah. Care to go outside?"
"Sure." Audrie had forgotten her minor hangover, but soon remembered as she stepped outside, the sudden bright light giving her a sudden headache. Rubbing her temples, she ignore Raoul's concerned look.
"Is something wrong?" "Hm? Oh, no, of course not."
"Well, then..." Raoul started to look around nervously.
"Yes? What do you want?"
"I want to know why you dislike Roger so much."
"Why wouldn't I? He's rude, stuck up, and has the intelligence of a sewing pin, no offense to the pin."
"Roger's one of the most intelligent men in the Realm!" Raoul protested, instantly making Audrie realize the mistake she had made when she so blatantly insulted Roger.
"Never mind. Is that all you wanted to know?'
"No, I'm curious. What do you know about the Ace of Spades? You know, that thief I mentioned?"
A lump about the size of a pumpernickel (AN: How big is pumpernickel? I just wanted to use the word, and it felt appropriate here) formed in Audrie's stomach. "What gives you the impression that I know anything?"
"I think you know. You seemed rather... knowledgeable when I spoke to you about it. I want to know more about the thief. And besides, Roger's taken grave interest in you."
"But Roger wasn't stolen from that night! The only thing he lost was a pair of loincloths!"
"How did you know that?"
"Is there anyone who didn't? I thought it would have been around the entire court by now!"
"It has been, I'm sure, yet why did you mention it?"
"Are you, Sir Raoul, accusing me of being a thief?!" Audrie glared at him, though at the same time she realized that what he was accusing her of was true.
"No, I didn't mean that..."
"Then what did you mean? That I cannot mention an occurrence that was obviously well-known and not be suspected for it? I don't take well to accusations, My Lord." Audrie finished the last two words with a touch of venom.
Audrie stomped off before Raoul could even reply to her last comment. Upon entering her rooms, she began ranting, all the while giving a glare that could turn anything to ice to no one in particular. Unfortunately, Sarri walked in to receive a full blast of Audrie's icy glare. The servant's obvious terror almost made Audrie soften a bit.
"Is something wrong, my lady?" Sarri began massaging the older girl's shoulders.
"How dare he accuse me of stealing? Here I go and bother to be kind to that...noble! When I could just as well ignore him, and then he goes and accuses me of stealing!"
"But...Didn't you?"
Audrie froze in her tracks. "Yes, but that's not the point. The point is, here I thought I could trust- trust!- a noble, and the noble goes and accuses me of theft! It's not the fact that it's the truth that bothers me, it's the concept of it all!"
From Sarri's look, she obviously didn't agree but wouldn't risk saying so. Upon Audrie pulling out her own flask of wine, this time not watered down, Sarri retreated out of the room to the servants' hall.
As Audrie took a swig of her wine, her only comment was, "Drink to celebrate, drink to grieve."
~ ~ ~ ~
Author's Notes: Thanks to those who reviewed, including: Hyperchick 88, Keita, Hannirose, Forget-me-not (a loyal reviewer! Yay!), 'The Critic,' Balloonfuzz, Tiriana, and Eve of Mirkwood. (I'm trying to keep these short) Filler chapter! Extreme filler chapter! The first part is about Audrie and Selia. Don't ask, 'cause I'm not sure. If this is an extremely boring chapter, I'm really sorry, I'm just in a slight writers block right now.
~ ~ ~ ~
The next morning, Audrie groaned as she woke to find herself in the familiar surroundings of a noble's room. As if she hadn't had enough trouble already, Audrie knew she would have to deal with Roger's growing suspicions, though she couldn't figure out how he had guessed, along with the squire's wanting to know how she knew George, among other things, and some of the most boring noblewomen thinking her someone to converse with about how to call attention to themselves. Life was hard enough without troubles like this.
Indeed, Audrie had barely managed to add on the attachments of light brown hair before someone tapped on her door. Opening the door a crack, Audrie found it to be Selia.
"Oh my! What happened to your hair? It looks to be a dreadful mess!" Of course. Selia's first worry would always be appearances.
Muttering under her breath, Audrie opened to door entirely and motioned for Selia to enter. "Certainly there's something else you want to know, other than why my hair looks as though a ferret nested in it?"
"Oh, of course, of course, but first things first. You should look decent before opening your door. What if it had been Prince Jonathan?"
"Why would he have been bothering me? He has no interest in me, and the feeling is mutual. Please, just tell me what you want."
Instead, Selia went about ordering Sarri to help with Audrie's hair and clothes. The two went about happily playing with Audrie's hair, putting it up in several different hairstyles while Audrie sulked silently. Once they were done with Audrie's hair, now piled atop her head in a mass of ringlets, they went on to try different dresses on her as though she were a doll.
"Do you have some reason for this? If you don't, you can Just. Get. Out." Audrie nearly growled before she caught herself. Why were they so set upon having her look just perfect?
"Just having fun." Selia smiled sweetly, only to hesitate and look sad. "Truly, I need your help."
"Thank you finally getting on with it." Audrie commented sarcastically, "I do believe I got wrinkles while waiting."
"Wrinkles?! Oh dear, I have a solution for just that thing. Here, let me go get it." Selia made as though to leave the room.
"I was joking," Audrie smacked her forehead with her palm. "Don't you know dry wit when you hear it?"
"Jokes are supposed to be led up to. You know, with a punch line and all that. I've never heard such arbitrary humor before. It's rather odd."
"If you've never heard dry wit before, that's sad. A person can't be relaxed without a good bit of sarcasm and humor. What's life without them?"
"Boring." Selia's demeanor suddenly changed from perky and happy to rather dark. "Life without humor is boring. I should know."
"What do you mean? You've never seemed bored to me. The Goddess knows you find your conversation interesting enough."
"That's just it, I don't. Whenever pressed to start a conversation, I think up so many things that I would like to say, yet as soon as I start talking, some boring topic, like forks, pops out instead. I don't know how everyone else manages to find them interesting."
"So? Why are you coming to me?"
"I've seen the way you seem so...at home whenever you talk to someone. You suggested to me that if I wanted to get the Prince's attention I should start interesting conversation, but I always end up back at manners, or dancing, or clothes. Yet at the same time I see you walking with some of the most talented men here, all the while challenging their views, thinking up comments that make even the most serious laugh. I don't understand what I've done to become so boring."
"Try six years at a convent. That's probably what you've done."
"What do you mean?"
"Let's be honest, when you went to the convent, did you ever talk about anything other than manners, dancing, or clothes?"
"The Prince."
"Wow. Wide variety there."
"Really?" "I was being sarcastic. The truth is, the reason why you can't say anything else is probably because you're so used to saying nothing else. If you want to become interesting, you've got to break that habit."
"So how do I do that?"
"Write up a list of things you want to say during a conversation. They can be topics, whether it's political discrepancies or even who they think is most likely to become important, but it's best to pick something that can be debated over, preferably leaning more towards the serious side. Or, it can be random comments you want to insert into the conversation, usually more humorous, such as, 'Have you ever considered taking up yodeling?'. The arbitrariness of these comments should surprise a laugh out of at least one person."
"Will that help?"
"Yes, but it won't solve your problem entirely. Once you become more in habit of thinking up thought provoking topics and comments, you shouldn't use a list. I'm not even sure this will work. It's something that should just come natural, really."
"Oh." Selia's voice fell. "I was just hoping..."
"Stop being so submissive. Just stop. That's one step to being less boring."
"But...Won't men think that I'm rude, or worse yet, unfeminine?"
"What gave you the impression that people think me polite, or, worse yet, feminine? I shudder at the very thought. If you want to be those, stick to what you are now."
"Rude but interesting or polite but boring?"
"Beyond all hell." Muttered Audrie.
"What did you say?"
"Nothing that you would care to know."
"Oh really? And what makes you so suddenly think yourself to be as high as to know what I would and would not like to know?!"
"So you have a temper. Amazing, wouldn't have guessed."
"Oh, oh my, I'm so sorry to have snapped!" Selia began apologizing to the point of nearly prostrating herself.
"Would you stop that? I was approving, not vice versa." "Hmm? Oh."
"Now are you going to continue babbling or can I go to breakfast? I'm hungry."
"Will you help me?"
"Are you that weak? Try it on your own first. If you're dying like a fish out of water, flopping around indecently, Goddess forbid, I'll go ahead and throw you back in and help out."
"What?"
"Never mind."
Suddenly Selia laughed. After receiving a strange look from Audrie, the two went out together to the dining room. Unfortunately, there it was proved once more that the seating arranger was out to get Audrie. It was no longer paranoia.
She had been placed next to Selia, to dig her out once she was six feet under, along with a certain Duke Roger, Jonathan and Delia, both of whom seemed to be much happier, proving to Audrie that the fight had ended. Audrie was tempted to simply slam her head against the table and then leave. Unfortunately, Roger didn't seem to want to let her.
"Ah, Lady Audrelinia. You slept well, I presume?" Roger smiled thinly.
"Judging from the circles under your eyes, much better than you." This time, Audrie didn't bother covering her lack of manners and sharp tongue.
"And judging from your general appearance, you indeed slept well...With a bird in your hair." It seemed Roger was rather prepared for her spoken barbs.
"So, erm..." Selia stepped in with hopes of keeping the minor insults to just that: minor.
"Ah, yes, Lady Selia." Jonathan seemed as pleased to see Selia as he would to see a whale in the main hall. "A pleasure, truly."
"Yes, truly." Agreed Delia wryly.
"So, what's your opinion on the latest...dance?"
Audrie cut in with a sharp cough that soon turned into prolonged hacking as Selia searched urgently for a more interesting topic.
"Are you alright?" Jonathan asked, though the look in his eyes was more one of gratefulness that Selia had been delayed than one of concern.
"Of course, of course." Audrie couldn't cough for forever. Either Selia thought of a topic or Audrie gave up on the noble.
"Personally, I think your father was a fool to allow the Tusaine War to occur." Selia finally began, much to the surprise of the others.
Most could only stare, until finally Jonathan killed the silence. "And why do you think that?"
"If he had kept better control of his borders, it never would have happened. Instead, he was lax on border patrols and showed weakness to his enemies, letting them seep in and start a war that lost many lives."
A tiny smile crept onto Audrie's face. So the girl had more than just dust in her head after all. "I agree entirely. What do you think, Roger?" The challenge was irresistible.
"A lie in its entirety. No one could have prevented such an inevitable war."
The debate lasted for the rest of the meal, the floor passing from person to person, though there was a particular tone of competitiveness in both Audrie and Roger's voices. In the end, however, much to Audrie's disappointment, those siding against her, Roger and Delia included, won the debate. At the end of dinner, Audrie rejoined with Selia as they left.
"Good enough," Audrie admitted, "I wasn't sure it was physically possible for you to be so intelligent."
"I can be, I just often forget to."
Audrie snorted. "Right, right. Either way, work on it. Perhaps you're not hopeless after all." With that, Audrie left.
~ ~ ~ ~
Throughout the rest of the day, Audrie successfully managed to avoid both Duke Roger and Squire Alan, mostly through luck. Afternoon and evening were spent rather dully, with only a small interlude of Audrie watering her horseweed once more. Unfortunately, nothing of particular interest occurred during the interlude, nor dinner. Only once Audrie was in her room did anything beyond the norm occur.
Upon opening her door, she saw a smiling figure sitting on her bed, and this time it wasn't Jered. Instead, it was Duke Roger, grinning pleasantly at Audrie's surprise.
"You're not the only one who appears in the most mysterious of places."
"What's that supposed to mean?" Audrie snapped.
"Only what you think it does. Now, on the subject of my loincloths."
"I have no interest in your loincloths, despite their rather odd colors."
"Despite their rather odd colors?"
"Personally, I never considered pink to suit you."
"And how did you know my loincloths were pink?"
"So they were? I was guessing." And it was true, she hadn't known. Actually, it was rather disturbing that Roger wore pink loincloths.
"Of course. But you know why I'm here."
"Actually, I don't." This time it was a lie, not that Audrie would tell Roger that. "And I would prefer it if you would tell me some other time, when I'm not preparing for bed."
"You go to bed so early?"
"Far earlier than you, obviously."
At that instant there was a slight tapping sound from one of the walls. The tapping, coincidentally, seemed to come directly from a painting of King Roald. Nearly cursing, Audrie began to talk far more loudly in hopes that the person within the passage would guess that now was not a proper time to just enter.
"So. I'm. Kind. Of. Busy. Right. Now. Would. You. Mind. Leaving?" Audrie's sudden change in manner and the strange tapping on the wall told Roger there was something in the passage.
"Of course. I never meant to bother you."
With a sickening smile, Roger departed with sever gravity, allowing Audrie to breath a sigh of relief. She had just been about to let whoever was in the passage in when it occurred to her that Roger had left rather eagerly. Too eagerly, if anything.
Opening her door, Audrie found herself staring face to face with Roger, who only nodded and strode off down the hall. Once more that man had proven himself to be untrustworthy.
Audrie entered her room again, this time to find Jered standing by the wall.
"What was that all about?" He beamed at her.
"Nothing you want to know." Audrie groaned. "I'm up to my waist in idiotic blunderers and suspicious lords." "I thought we gave you this deal in hopes that you wouldn't do such things." Jered frowned at her.
"I'm trying. It's far more challenging than I thought. I've nearly gone insane giving off conversation advice and avoiding people at the same time. I swear, there's someone out to kill me, what with the way I keep running into the most annoying people at the most inconvenient timing. I think it's the seating arranger, but I can't quite be sure."
Nodding sympathetically, Jered threw an arm around Audrie's shoulders. "Poor soul, I feel so sorry for you."
"Right." Audrie shrugged off her friends arm and false understanding. "Sure you do."
"Of course!" Jered insisted, "Everyone at the Dancing Dove feels bad for you, what with all you're going through."
"Uh huh. What are you here for, anyways?"
"To check up on your sanity. The thing's nearly all gone."
"Seriously."
"Seriously? I'm here just to talk to you. I wouldn't want you going all soft and noble on us. It's my duty to make sure you're all well."
"And to pick up what I stole on Tuesday, am I right?" Audrie showed him to the reasonable stash in her closet.
"Yup. And to make sure you don't go returning everything. We'll change what we don't want into coins and give you your fair share. Anything in particular you want to keep?"
"Oh, sure," Audrie sighed, "I'll go ahead and keep this pin."
"A pin?" Jered raised an eyebrow. "I never thought you to be one to keep a pin."
"For a friend, I suppose. Not of much interest to me."
"Sure."
"Is that all?"
"Not much else. Care for a drink?" Jered took out a flask of liquor and pulled out the cork.
"More than you could know. The strongest thing they give you here is wine. Watered down wine at that."Audrie took the flask from Jered. "Poor soul."
"Right." Taking a deep gulp of the drink, Audrie ignored Jered's comments.
The two talked like old friends, and chatted late into the night. By the time Jered finally left, Audrie had gotten most of her worries off her chest, though she 'failed' to mention anything about Roger. While she had drank a decent amount, Audrie knew that her tolerance level was such that she wouldn't get a hangover the next day, and thus flopped in bed with few worries.
~ ~ ~ ~
The next day Audrie woke up with, sure enough, almost no headache, only a lingering sense of pain at staring at bright light. Assuming she stayed inside for the first few hours of the day, Audrie deemed that she would be fine.
At breakfast little to nothing happened. Selia finally managed to bring up interesting subjects, and even make a few humorous comments, though it was clear that each time she did so she was looking intently at an index card in her palm.
Audrie took her sufferable seating arrangements to mean that the rest of the day would be relatively pleasant, and left the dining hall with a light heart. Once she was outside the hall, Raoul came to greet her.
"Good afternoon." Audrie nodded an acknowledgment of the tall night.
"Lady Audrelinia." Raoul bowed.
"Don't do that," Audrie whispered in his ear as she took him by the elbow and steered him out of the room.
"Don't do what?" Raoul didn't bother to keep his voice down nearly as much.
"Bow. If you bow, I have to curtsey in reply."
"So?"
"I can't curtsey!" Audrie whispered fervently.
"Ah. Care to go outside?"
"Sure." Audrie had forgotten her minor hangover, but soon remembered as she stepped outside, the sudden bright light giving her a sudden headache. Rubbing her temples, she ignore Raoul's concerned look.
"Is something wrong?" "Hm? Oh, no, of course not."
"Well, then..." Raoul started to look around nervously.
"Yes? What do you want?"
"I want to know why you dislike Roger so much."
"Why wouldn't I? He's rude, stuck up, and has the intelligence of a sewing pin, no offense to the pin."
"Roger's one of the most intelligent men in the Realm!" Raoul protested, instantly making Audrie realize the mistake she had made when she so blatantly insulted Roger.
"Never mind. Is that all you wanted to know?'
"No, I'm curious. What do you know about the Ace of Spades? You know, that thief I mentioned?"
A lump about the size of a pumpernickel (AN: How big is pumpernickel? I just wanted to use the word, and it felt appropriate here) formed in Audrie's stomach. "What gives you the impression that I know anything?"
"I think you know. You seemed rather... knowledgeable when I spoke to you about it. I want to know more about the thief. And besides, Roger's taken grave interest in you."
"But Roger wasn't stolen from that night! The only thing he lost was a pair of loincloths!"
"How did you know that?"
"Is there anyone who didn't? I thought it would have been around the entire court by now!"
"It has been, I'm sure, yet why did you mention it?"
"Are you, Sir Raoul, accusing me of being a thief?!" Audrie glared at him, though at the same time she realized that what he was accusing her of was true.
"No, I didn't mean that..."
"Then what did you mean? That I cannot mention an occurrence that was obviously well-known and not be suspected for it? I don't take well to accusations, My Lord." Audrie finished the last two words with a touch of venom.
Audrie stomped off before Raoul could even reply to her last comment. Upon entering her rooms, she began ranting, all the while giving a glare that could turn anything to ice to no one in particular. Unfortunately, Sarri walked in to receive a full blast of Audrie's icy glare. The servant's obvious terror almost made Audrie soften a bit.
"Is something wrong, my lady?" Sarri began massaging the older girl's shoulders.
"How dare he accuse me of stealing? Here I go and bother to be kind to that...noble! When I could just as well ignore him, and then he goes and accuses me of stealing!"
"But...Didn't you?"
Audrie froze in her tracks. "Yes, but that's not the point. The point is, here I thought I could trust- trust!- a noble, and the noble goes and accuses me of theft! It's not the fact that it's the truth that bothers me, it's the concept of it all!"
From Sarri's look, she obviously didn't agree but wouldn't risk saying so. Upon Audrie pulling out her own flask of wine, this time not watered down, Sarri retreated out of the room to the servants' hall.
As Audrie took a swig of her wine, her only comment was, "Drink to celebrate, drink to grieve."
~ ~ ~ ~