Connor could hardly believe she was back. He sat and watched her move about the hotel as if nothing had ever happened, as if her dying had never occurred. She was troubled by her death and resurrection, and that was to be expected, but she was still Lania. Still his wonderful, amazing Lania.

"Lania, sit down a minute, you've hardly stopped since we came back." Connor told her, and she stopped.

"Sorry, it's just…a little new, that's all." She smiled softly and sat beside him. "But thank you, for bringing me back."

"I couldn't bear the thought of you being dead Lania, there was no question, of course I was going to do anything I could to bring you back." He murmured, and embraced her, rejoicing in the feeling of her heart beating near his.

"I love you so much." She whispered. He pulled away from her for a moment, so he could ask her a question that had been pestering him.

"Lania, where did you go?"

"Nowhere." She replied, perhaps too hastily, but Connor let it drop, knowing it must be painful for her.

"Ok."

And they sat, in silence, for hours, not talking or anything. Eventually, Lania fell asleep in Connor's arms, her breathing soft. Connor watched her sleep, and silently worried for Angel.

"What do you want me to do Lilah?" Angel asked, almost dreading the answer, knowing if it was anything too horrendous his soul would hold him back.

"We need you to kill someone." She answered. Angel let out a sigh, he knew he would not be able to do it.

"Who?" He asked, deciding to pretend that he was up to the challenge.

"I believe you call him son."

"You expect me to kill Connor?" He laughed. "You guys are about as stupid as I first guessed. Like I'm really gonna kill my own son for you. Wake up Lilah, it's never gonna happen."

"If you don't, we will." Lilah replied coldly.

"What?"

"Now we're giving you the option. You can give him this injection, and he'll go to sleep and never wake up. Or we will find him, and we will kill him slowly and painfully." She slid an injection kit across the table.

"I wouldn't let you kill him."

"You know we could do it. You know that sooner or later, we'll get to him, and when we do, he will die. So take this, and let him go nicely. Cuz we won't. It's him, or the Slayer. You know she's important, she will become the planet's only hope of survival, and you know it."

The conversation was over. Angel stood for a couple of seconds, shocked and afraid. As much as he didn't like to admit it to himself, he knew Lilah wasn't lying. Wolfram and Hart could take Connor out easily. Against his will, his thoughts racing, he picked up the injection kit and slipped it into his coat pocket.

Connor was sleeping when Angel got back. He was on the couch in the foyer, his hair scattered across his eyes, his lips curved in a slight smile. He looked so peaceful, and so happy.

Angel couldn't bear to think about what he was going to do. He prepared the needle, and rolled up the sleeve to Connor's favourite Nirvana shirt. The needle was millimetres away from his arm when the door opened and Lania entered.

"Hey, is he sleeping?" She smiled. Angel quickly hid the needle, and stood.

"Yeah." He replied quietly, hoping to disguise his own anguish. But Lania was a perceptive young woman, and she knew something wasn't right.

"Angel, what's going on? What happened at Wolfram and Hart?" She asked, making herself a cup of coffee.

"They asked me to kill someone." He murmured.

"Who?"

"Connor." Angel saw all the colour drain from her face, and her eyes went wide, suddenly reminding him of how young she was.

"I can't let you do that Angel." She answered slowly. "I won't let you."

"I have no choice. It's either him or you, and you're gonna be so important soon. Lilah told me you would be the planet's only hope for survival!"

"Lilah told you! And you believed her!"

"She wasn't lying Lania. And she said if I didn't kill him, they would. I can make it easy on him." Angel said, his voice strained.

"NO! It's not going to happen, I won't let it happen! What else did she tell you?" Lania begged, clutching at straws.

"That either you or Connor had to die."

Lania stopped, thinking hard. Angel thought he could see tears in her eyes as she glanced over at Connor.

"Then it's gonna be me."

Angel was moved by her love for Connor, and so grateful for her courage. But she was needed, more than she knew.

"Lania, you're the slayer…" He began.

"And after me there will be another. But there is never going to be another Connor. I can be replaced. He can't Angel." Her voice was shaking, and Angel knew why. She was young, she had everything to live for. And she was sacrificing that for Connor, for his son.

"I know." Angel stroked her hair. "I can't thank you enough, for saving my son. You don't know what he means to me."

"Probably about as much as he means to me."

There was nothing left to say. Lania turned on her heel, and walked up the stairs, to her bedroom. When she got there, she let out a choked sob. This was a horrible situation, and she could end it. She hoped Connor would forgive her.

She sat for a long time, in the dark, just thinking about everything. About the life she was leaving, and the life she was saving. Lania had never believed in suicide, but she knew this was the right thing to do, she knew that in making her ultimate sacrifice, she could save the man she loved. In her eyes, it was a fair trade.

But she didn't want to leave without saying goodbye to Connor. Lania knew she wouldn't be able to bring herself to do it, so she wrote it down instead.

Dearest Connor

When you wake up, I won't be here anymore. And it's not because I don't love you, and it's not because I don't wanna stay with you. It's because I want you to live, and I want you to grow up, and do all the things we talked about. I want you to be a rockstar, and I want you to go to college. I want you to get married, and have children. I am giving my life for yours, and I'm doing it without a second thought. I remember you asking me one time, what a slayer meant. What was her purpose? I couldn't answer you then, but I can now. A slayer is someone who gives her life in one way or another so that others can live. And this is what I am doing for you. I love you so much, and I know how much this is going to hurt you. But I want you to know I chose to end it. I chose to die for you, because you have so much more to do. You have a life to live, so promise me that you will. When you read this I want you to promise me that you will not grieve for me, but that this will make you stronger, and that you will live your life, not in pain, but in the knowledge that I will always be with you. I'm gonna be at your first concert, and I'm gonna be at the birth of your first child. I'm gonna be there when you graduate from college, and I'm gonna be at your wedding. I will watch over you till one day you are able to join me. And I will wait for that day until it happens, I will wait for it with every thought, with every second of whatever existence awaits me. And I have complete faith that this is not the end. We will be together again Connor, someday. I will carry you in my heart forever. I love you. I'm not gonna say goodbye, cuz this isn't over. I love you so much. Be good, be careful. And be strong Connor, you're not losing me. I'll be with you in your dreams.

See ya later

With all the love I possess,

Lania

She folded the letter up, and placed it gently in an envelope. Then she went back downstairs. Angel was sitting in silence, watching Connor sleep.

"I'm ready now Angel." She said softly, and he stood.

"I don't know how to thank you, I don't know what I can say." Angel murmured.

"Then don't. Will you give this to him?" She asked, handing Angel the letter.

"What does it say?"
"Not much. I just…I want him to understand. Just make sure he gets it."

"Of course."

"And Angel, promise me you'll look after him."

"I will Lania, I promise."

"Ok." She crossed the room, and kneeled beside Connor. She took his hand in hers, and softly stroked his hair. He stirred, and his eyes flickered open. He smiled when he saw her.

"Lania?"

"Hey baby." She kissed him, saying goodbye without him even realising it. He kissed her back gently, and sighed.

"Go back to sleep Connor." She ordered with a smile, and he touched her face.

"I'll see you in the morning." He muttered, falling back into his deep sleep. In his ear, she whispered.

"Yeah, I'll see you in the morning Connor."

But for her, there would be no more mornings. That thought didn't sadden her, because Lania knew what she was saving.

"Where's the needle?" She asked Angel, her voice scrapey.

"Here." He handed her the prepared needle. She sat in the chair opposite Connor, so she could die looking at him. She rolled up her shirt sleeve, and found her vein. The needle slid in easily, almost with medical accuracy. Almost instantly, she found herself dozing off.

And moments later, she was gone. To Angel, it just looked like she was sleeping. He took the needle from her arm, and rolled down her sleeve. He kissed her forehead.

"Thank you." He whispered.

When Connor woke up, he broke his heart. When he had to attend her funeral, he cried. But when he read her letter, he smiled.

To no-one in particular, when he was all alone, he smiled softly to himself, and spoke.

"I promise Lania."

Every night until he died, no matter where he was, Connor slept with that letter under his pillow. He would never let go, and he would never forget. Cuz it wasn't over.