Disclaimer: Do I have to? Ok, I don't own anything beyond the rotting
remains of old furniture. Actually, I don't even own that, it's my parents.
Never mind then.
Author's Notes: Ten reviews! Yay! Here are the readers who were so kind as to review: Rhapsody07, 'Smiley of Queenscove', 'The Critic,' 'LittleMissMe,' 'Hannirose,' Forget-me-not,' LadyOfWater, Anastazia Silverwind, Nikita Lady of the Rogue, Keita, and hyperchick88. Thank you! Big announcement! Read! Read! : Multiple people have questioned whether I will be pairing Audrie with anyone, and the trouble was, I intended to indeed pair her with someone, but I couldn't decide who. So, to simplify my life ten times and get reader involvement, I'm holding a competition. I know I'm announcing it early, but the one-hundredth reviewer gets to choose who Audrie gets paired up with, or if she walks off still single. If it's really strange (like Audrie and Roger), then I'll write an alternate ending for the other readers according to most popular request. Sorry for such a long Author's Notes, but it's important to read this one!
~ ~ ~ ~
Audrie awoke to see yet another surprise person standing in her room. As if she hadn't had enough random visitors already! "Does anyone respect my privacy?!" Audrie demanded. Sitting up, she glared at the unexpected visitor, only to realize that her hair was black, straight and short, the exact opposite of her 'normal' appearance these days.
"I-I'm sorry, did I get the wrong room?" The red-headed squire stuttered, apparently quite nervous. "I was looking for Lady Audrelinia."
"And you found her," Audrie grumbled. At seeing Alan's surprised expression, Audrie futher explained, "You expected me to look the way I always do? What if someone recognized me from on the streets? My trade is slight of hand and disguise mastery. No," Audrie shook her head, "Even at the Dancing Dove I wear a disguise. The only time I'm truly who I look to be is while stealing. Then I wear my regular outfit, which I find far more comfortable than any corset, mind you. I do so miss my combat boots." It took Audrie a minute to realize she was babbling. "Goddess protect me, I'm turning into a court lady, aren't I?"
The comment made Alan laugh. "No, you would giggle far more if you were turning into a court lady. Bat those eyes a bit more too, and complement men constantly and you'd be perfect."
"How very true. I've seen some of them. That Delia makes me sick to my stomach." Audrie pulled a face and moved so that she was sitting on the edge of the bed, facing Alan.
"Oh," Alan's face darkened, "I don't care much for her either."
"You're one of the few. You and that Alex. He's strange too."
"Strange? What's that supposed to mean?" Alan's expression mixed annoyance and confusion together.
"Be reasonable," Audrie shrugged, "Every single man in court swoons over that lady. Jon and who knows who else is sleeping with her. Now I know you haven't read any love letters to her but-"
"And you have?!"
"I make my way around. You think I only steal on the nights I go out? Not me, I have fun when I thieve. I was in both Raoul and Gary's rooms. You should have seen the bad poetry they write. My job in those cases is to make it worse, but with some of Gary's letters that challenged even me!"
"You were the one who stuck vulgar comments into Gary's letters?!" Alan's incredulous look made Audrie laugh.
"The one and only." Audrie smirked, "Then again, they would have been bad enough without my help."
"How very true. Occasionally he reads them aloud to us to ask our opinions on them. Most of the time it's hard to keep a straight face."
"Do you see what I'm saying? It's not like I'm actually hurting anyone with this project. No one even notices that half of the things I took are gone."
"What do you mean?" Alan glanced at Audrie questioningly.
"I only take the most meager of things. The thing is, I steal from so many people that I profit but the single person only loses an earbob or a watch, nothing that they'd miss."
"But why did you agree to this in the first place? Do you enjoy putting up with nobles night and day?"
"Enjoy? Enjoy?! Goddess help me, I cannot stand you nobles! Most of you are so... Arrogant, it drives me insane just to watch you chat away so blithely! I only took this cursed job because I didn't have much of a choice. It was either this or my ear was added to George's collection. I like my ears the way they are, thank you very much."
"One thing I don't understand is why I've never seen you at the Dancing Dove. You seem as though you're relatively familiar with Corus."
"Oh, I am, I am. I've seen you, and you've seen me, but you've never known it. Like I said, the only time I look like this is when I'm out at night. Speaking of which, I'd better fix my hair or people will start wondering." Audrie stood and moved over to the vanity mirror, and, sitting before it, began adding the brown-blond hair attachments she normally wore.
"So that's how you do it. But how do you change your real hair?" "Like this," Audrie's hair shone and lightened to match the color of the attachments. At the same time, her eyes changed to the light blue they appeared to be in the day. "You have the gift!" The squire pulled out a necklace and held it firmly in her grasp. At the same time, a black cat with eyes the exact same color as the squire's trotted in.
"Nothing big. I can't even heal bruises. Just lesser illusions. I can't even affect anything but myself. I almost wish I had a larger gift, but then again, it may have become a burden." Audrie sighed.
"Magic can save lives," Alan's eye's turned slightly cold. "But it can also kill them."
"I suppose. How did we even get onto the subject of magic, anyway?"
"Your hair. How you change it so."
"Oh. Yes. Well, either way," Audrie sighed, "I have to put on my cursed corset and dress, so if you don't mind..."
"Sorry," Alan made to leave before turning around, "I suppose you miss the Dancing Dove."
"Somewhat, yes." Audrie sighed. "Actually, I miss it a lot. More than I thought I would. I guess I just became so used to the informal, relaxed lifestyle of sleeping and working in the day, drinking at night at the bar and occasionally going out at night. It's so different here."
"Maybe with Jon's permission- he's my knight master after all- I could take you into town. Give you a break from all of the formality."
"If you could, I would be eternally grateful. Anything to keep me from going insane due to over-curtsying. That will drive me to the edge, I know it."
Alan laughed before opening the door and leaving.
~ ~ ~ ~
Breakfast was, as usual, full of boring old knights and prim ladies. This time Audrie had been directed to sit next to the oldest and stiffest bores in the entire realm, with Selia several table away chatting happily with another lady.
After Audrie nearly died from lack of intelligent conversation, breakfast ended and Audrie left the dining hall, only to find Raoul waiting for her once more. An icy glare from Audrie cut him off before he even started.
"If you have anything to say to me, you can say it through someone else. Mind you, I won't listen to that person either, but I most certainly won't listen to you. I don't need to be around people who accuse me left and right of the most outrageous things." Silently, Audrie knew she was being unreasonable, but a tiny, malicious part of her wanted him to know that she was angry and insulted by the concept that he would accuse her of thievery, even if she was a thief.
"Listen I just-" Raoul began, before Audrie cut him off once more.
"I told you, I don't want to hear it. Frankly, I almost considered you a friend. Guess I was wrong there. Just shows me what happens when you decide to be honest to a person." Audrie glared at him once more before stalking off in the middle of a conversation for the second time.
Nearly stomping down the halls, Audrie slammed into a young page who was walking to his next class. "Excuse me!" She glared at the boy and was about to continue stomping on, when she realized it was the same boy she had seen knife fighting.
"Well if it isn't the traitor!" Audrie was in no mood to talk to someone who had lied to her, but the hurt look on the boy's face almost made her regret her words. Almost. "Don't even bother crying in hopes of making me feel bad. I honestly don't care."
"As if I would cry!" The boy looked at Audrie indignantly.
"Apparently you've still got those awful ideals stuck in your head, despite my attempts to get rid of them!"
"They're not ideals. And I don't even know you!" The young page began to tear up, much to Audrie's guilt and disgust at the same time. "Stop that. It's just useless to cry. Go and get yourself into some fight or something, like a normal page."
"I was always told to use battle as a last resort."
"There go your ideals again," Audrie snorted, "Who told you that?"
"That thief I mentioned to you, the Ace of Spades."
"I never said-"
Audrie almost finished the sentence before sighting Alan walking down the hall. The squire was grinning at Audrie, who was grateful for the excuse to cut off her sentence.
"Why hello, Squire Alan." Audrie nodded as gracefully as she could manage.
"Hello, Lady Audrelinia." Alan began to bow before Audrie inched closer to him to promptly kick him in the shin.
"Don't bow." Audrie muttered beneath her breath. "If you bow, then I have to, and if I fall, I'll take you down with me, at all costs."
"Oh. Okay." Alan almost laughed. "Now that I think about it, it makes sense that you don't know how to curtsey."
"But I'm not going to declare it to the world!" Audrie hissed beneath her breath. "And I'd appreciate it if you did either!"
"Sorry," Alan, indeed, looked truly apologetic.
"It's alright," Audrie glanced to the side and sighed. "Now, what is it you wanted to talk to me about? Or did you just come to bow so that I would have to curtsey?"
"It's about your taking a break to go to town."
"Yes?"
"Well, I spoke to Jonathan about it..."
"You didn't tell him, did you?" Fear took over Audrie. "Do you realize what could happen if he knew?"
"I didn't tell him, so you don't have to go worrying!"
"Oh. Sorry. I just, well..."
"I think I understand. I have a similar situation. But Jon's a good person, I don't think he would turn on you." (AN: I'm defending Jon?! What on Earth am I doing? I hate him!)
"Of course, of course. Then again, you're a noble. It's different to him to snitch on a noble than it is to snitch on a commoner."
"You don't know that! You hardly even know him!"
"Right, right," Audrie decided to drop the subject. "What did he say, anyway?"
"Since he thinks you to be a lady," Alan began, before hesitating, "He thought you should have better protection than just me going with you.
"So he won't let me go?" Rage almost took over Audrie, nearly causing her to lose her composure. "But he can't do that! I've suffered this place for nearly a week now! Who's he to think I need defense?!"
"That's not what he said." Alan explained, "He said he'd prefer for you to also take along a knight. He said I should ask Raoul to go with us."
"Raoul?" Audrie began searching for a ledge to jump off of in order to commit suicide. "As if he'd like to come." Audrie snorted, "Besides, it'll much harder for me to get around with him haunting me. I'd prefer him not to come."
"That's funny, you two seemed to get along." Alan shrugged. "But Jon didn't suggest so much as insist. In fact, he already instructed Raoul to go with us. Sorry. I guess it will be a normal day in the market. I don't think we can even take you to the Dancing Dove. After all, a proper lady wouldn't go there."
"Great," Audrie muttered, "I can't even go to there. I may as well go off and start acting all prissy, since that's the way I'll act once I'm insane."
At that instant, Audrie realized that the young page from before was still there. Apparently he was just gazing at the lady and squire, quite mesmerized. He seemed to be regarding Audrie with a strange look in his eye.
"Aren't you going to be late for class?" Audrie glanced sharply at the boy, who instantly scrambled back to life and ran for his next class. Audrie sighed and looked back to Alan. "Is that all? I can go, but I still have to be a lady?"
"Well, yes. I'm really sorry, but he is my knight master after all. Without his permission, I couldn't go at all, which would mean you wouldn't be able to go."
"Can't you tell him you're visiting George or something?"
"And take you along with me? Jon would be scandalized at the thought that I brought a perfectly refined lady to the Dancing Dove to meet thieves and beggars. He would figure that you'd be traumatized by the experience."
Audrie felt like slamming her head against the table. Did all noblemen think women to be so weak? Did all noblewomen conform to this belief? The concept made Audrie sick to her stomach. "So there's nothing you can do to change his mind and not make us take anyone else along?"
"No. I honestly believe there's nothing I could do to convince him. Generally, when Jon decides something, he sticks to it."
"Great, just great. Thanks anyways. I guess I'll feign illness from eating bad food or obtain a sudden dislike for large amounts of sunshine. That should get me out of having to go and obsess over the quality of the fabric of the most expensive dresses." Audrie sighed and shook her head. The things she had to do to escape such fates.
Alan suddenly remembered that he had to finish some paperwork in the library, and headed off in that direction. Audrie, in the meanwhile, returned to her room until lunch, and after that she spent her time lounging about in the garden avoiding any lady coming to admire the flowers. After watering the single weed in the garden that had changed from nearly dying of thirst and about two inches tall to now thick with thorns, alive and well, and had grown several inches in the near week that Audrie had been caring for it.
Dinner passed, amazingly, uneventfully, despite Audrie's attempts to liven her day by secretly tossing her mashed potatoes at the king with her spoon. Unfortunately, her attempts failed due to the fact that Roger was at her table to loom over her, making sure she ate every bite of her food and slipped none of it under the table.
~ ~ ~ ~
Overnight it rained, leaving a thick mist on the ground and preventing Audrie from using the excuse of too much sunlight for a reason to forget the trip to Corus. And she appeared perfectly healthy, despite her attempts to appear sick, so she was forced to lug herself out of bed at the crack of dawn to ready herself and pack the 'necessities' any normal lady would require for such a trip, such as ten gallons of perfume and five day's supply of food, in case, of course, they got lost between the palace and the stable. In fact she was packing her waitress' dress and red hair attachment, along with her signature black scarf and cards. In the second before Alan knocked on her door Audrie shoved in her favorite heavily soled black boots.
"Ready?" Alan asked from the doorway as Audrie strived to close her bags.
"About as ready as a finch is a flamingo." Audrie muttered in reply, and in desperation slammed her foot into the bag to squish everything in and then sat on it.
"Do you want a few more minutes?"
"Try a few days, to cram everything in here and then think up an excuse to unpack it all." At last the things within the bag were crammed enough that Audrie could barely tie the strings around them, and, with the help of Alan, Audrie dragged it out the door and off to the stables to attach to her poor horse.
"Obviously the thing will be lame after this trip." Audrie looked at Alan and tried to force a grin.
"No, our horses are more fit than that. He'll just have terrible back pains."
"As would any normal beast that tried to carry a load this size." Audrie massaged her shoulders, aching due to the burden now tied to the horse.
"What did you put in there that weighed so much?"
"Oh, not much. Just a few things here and there, in case of emergency," Audrie lied through her teeth. Better for Alan not to know that Audrie had plans to go against Jon's wishes.
~ ~ ~ ~
The trip to the city was a long and rather sullen one. Audrie still refused to speak to Raoul, who constantly attempted to talk to her through Alan. Alan, quite reasonably, enjoyed being the intermediary about as much as a cat enjoys water. Thus everyone sulked wordlessly throughout the entire trip, for some reason or another. Once they were at Corus, Audrie livened up slightly. She bothered to look up, and even smiled warmly when she spotted a friend of hers pickpocketing a snobbish old lady. Better this than nothing, Audrie resolved.
"I think we should go ahead and stable our horses," Audrie suggested, "At the- where do you think we could stable them? An inn nearby would be convenient enough."
Alan raised an eyebrow at Audrie. "But we won't be staying the night."
"Of course not. Just because you stable horses at an inn doesn't mean you intend to stay there for the night. Where else would we stable them but at an inn?" Audrie shook off Alan's suspicion with a shrug.
"I suppose she's right." Raoul nodded to Alan. "We might as well stable the horses at the Dancing Dove. Goddess knows her horse needs a break from all of her luggage. What did you bring, rocks?"
"You found me out," Audrie replied with a tart tone. "We may as well get going." Turning her horse away from Raoul with an cold aloofness, Audrie waited for the others to move ahead of her and show her the way to the inn that she already knew every route to by heart.
Alan just glanced at Audrie before nudging his horse forward, with Raoul following behind. The group arrived at the back of the Dancing Dove in an attempt not to draw too much attention to the fact they had a noble lady traveling with them.
A stable hand came up to lead their horses, and gave Audrie a wary look, before just shaking his head. The stable hand took the horses to the crossties, where Raoul and Alan insisted upon taking care of their own horses, merely because they suspected the stable hand of stealing horses with careless owners. Audrie, on the other hand, gladly gave the duty of grooming her horse, lathered with sweat, to the stable hand.
Knight and squire both worked hard to make sure their horses were clean and could be well rested for the journey home, spending more than enough time making sure to attempt to erase any sweat marks. In the time they were so consumed by their work, they didn't notice that Audrie was long gone, having left the stable the instant she handed the reins to the stable worker.
Indeed, Audrie had worked the morning mists to her advantage, sneaking away as soon as possible. She figured Raoul would think she had gone and lost herself in the fog, but Alan would think otherwise, yet hopefully wouldn't mention it. Perhaps they would even forget her and wander the town for the day.
As Audrie crawled into George's rooms through one of the many passageways, Audrie wondered how she would meet up with them, and what sort of excuse she could concoct in order to explain it all. Dismissing the thought for later, Audrie fell out of the passageway and into George's closet, apparently open, with George sifting around for a shirt.
"Surprise." Audrie grinned at the slightly amazed, slightly annoyed look on George's face. In Audrie's arms were her boots and dress, along with a pair of breeches and her scarf. Standing up, Audrie shook the dust from the passageway off her dress and walked past George into his rooms. "So."
"So? Dare I ask what you're doing back?" George put a palm to his forehead.
"Do you know what I endured while I was there? Goddess protect me, it was awful! I always sat next to the most boring people at meals, women chatting away blithely about the most handsome man in court and men talking about their favorite armory or who they slept with recently. It's a terror, George, really. Look at me, I'm talking like one of them too!" Audrie proceeded to begin slamming her head against the nearest wall. "Maybe that will force all of their cursed manners out of my head."After about three slams, Audrie allowed her gaze to rest on George.
"So that's it? You got sick of having to put up with manners? If that's all, you had better come up with a better excuse."
"Define 'better.'" Audrie stuck her tongue out. "If that was all, I wouldn't be here. Honestly, I just can't stand those people any more. And it's not like I'm giving up the project. Just visiting for the day. Really. I asked permission to come and everything. Now let me change into my waitress outfit and I'll work for the day and then be back at the palace before you can say the lines to the longest spell in the world ten times fast."
"Audrie, the longest spell in the world can take up to a year to complete.
"Yeah, well, still." Audrie began taking off her dress. "Turn away, turn away. I have modesty, you know."
"I couldn't tell." George retorted dryly as he turned to continue looking through his closet.
When he at last found one and turned around, Audrie was fully dressed in her black breeches under her red and white waitress dress, her thick soled charcoal black boots and scarf tied around her waist. The only thing she was missing was her flame red false hair, which she held in clumps in her hands. Indeed, she planted herself in front of the mirror and began fixing her hair only moments after George had put the shirt on.
Audrie was at last tying her hair up with a leather thong when Jered knocked on the door and entered at the exact same time. The man was so surprised at seeing Audrie in George's rooms that he nearly fell backwards.
"Audrie? What in the Gods' names are you doing here?"
"Putting up my hair. That's not going to kill anyone, now is it?" Audrie glared at Jered, only to soften at seeing her friend's expression. "Oh, come off it. I'm just staying for the day. That palace was driving me insane. I had to escape for the day."
"And they let you? I thought nobles considered women to be too weak to defend themselves." Jered snorted. "Then again, if they knew your real personality..."
"What's that supposed to imply?"
"That you have a nasty, nasty disposition when it comes to making enemies."
As Audrie finished tying up her hair, Jered sat down in a soft leather chair. Audrie walked over to stand next to him and grill him for the latest best and worst steals. At that instant, Jered pulled her onto his lap, laughing. Audrie couldn't help but laugh as well, despite her annoyance at the gesture. Unfortunately, it was also at that instant that Gary and Raoul walked into the room.
~ ~ ~ ~
AN: Oh, I couldn't help but leave it at that spot. You see, if I didn't stop it there, this chapter would go on for forever and ever, since there's no other place to really stop it, especially since the next couple parts are particularly important. Be grateful I made it this long. It was either stop here, or stop at the end of the first day in this chapter (Saturday) which would have made it nearly half as long. Sorry for the unimportant, boring author's notes, but I really couldn't help it. Thanks again!
Author's Notes: Ten reviews! Yay! Here are the readers who were so kind as to review: Rhapsody07, 'Smiley of Queenscove', 'The Critic,' 'LittleMissMe,' 'Hannirose,' Forget-me-not,' LadyOfWater, Anastazia Silverwind, Nikita Lady of the Rogue, Keita, and hyperchick88. Thank you! Big announcement! Read! Read! : Multiple people have questioned whether I will be pairing Audrie with anyone, and the trouble was, I intended to indeed pair her with someone, but I couldn't decide who. So, to simplify my life ten times and get reader involvement, I'm holding a competition. I know I'm announcing it early, but the one-hundredth reviewer gets to choose who Audrie gets paired up with, or if she walks off still single. If it's really strange (like Audrie and Roger), then I'll write an alternate ending for the other readers according to most popular request. Sorry for such a long Author's Notes, but it's important to read this one!
~ ~ ~ ~
Audrie awoke to see yet another surprise person standing in her room. As if she hadn't had enough random visitors already! "Does anyone respect my privacy?!" Audrie demanded. Sitting up, she glared at the unexpected visitor, only to realize that her hair was black, straight and short, the exact opposite of her 'normal' appearance these days.
"I-I'm sorry, did I get the wrong room?" The red-headed squire stuttered, apparently quite nervous. "I was looking for Lady Audrelinia."
"And you found her," Audrie grumbled. At seeing Alan's surprised expression, Audrie futher explained, "You expected me to look the way I always do? What if someone recognized me from on the streets? My trade is slight of hand and disguise mastery. No," Audrie shook her head, "Even at the Dancing Dove I wear a disguise. The only time I'm truly who I look to be is while stealing. Then I wear my regular outfit, which I find far more comfortable than any corset, mind you. I do so miss my combat boots." It took Audrie a minute to realize she was babbling. "Goddess protect me, I'm turning into a court lady, aren't I?"
The comment made Alan laugh. "No, you would giggle far more if you were turning into a court lady. Bat those eyes a bit more too, and complement men constantly and you'd be perfect."
"How very true. I've seen some of them. That Delia makes me sick to my stomach." Audrie pulled a face and moved so that she was sitting on the edge of the bed, facing Alan.
"Oh," Alan's face darkened, "I don't care much for her either."
"You're one of the few. You and that Alex. He's strange too."
"Strange? What's that supposed to mean?" Alan's expression mixed annoyance and confusion together.
"Be reasonable," Audrie shrugged, "Every single man in court swoons over that lady. Jon and who knows who else is sleeping with her. Now I know you haven't read any love letters to her but-"
"And you have?!"
"I make my way around. You think I only steal on the nights I go out? Not me, I have fun when I thieve. I was in both Raoul and Gary's rooms. You should have seen the bad poetry they write. My job in those cases is to make it worse, but with some of Gary's letters that challenged even me!"
"You were the one who stuck vulgar comments into Gary's letters?!" Alan's incredulous look made Audrie laugh.
"The one and only." Audrie smirked, "Then again, they would have been bad enough without my help."
"How very true. Occasionally he reads them aloud to us to ask our opinions on them. Most of the time it's hard to keep a straight face."
"Do you see what I'm saying? It's not like I'm actually hurting anyone with this project. No one even notices that half of the things I took are gone."
"What do you mean?" Alan glanced at Audrie questioningly.
"I only take the most meager of things. The thing is, I steal from so many people that I profit but the single person only loses an earbob or a watch, nothing that they'd miss."
"But why did you agree to this in the first place? Do you enjoy putting up with nobles night and day?"
"Enjoy? Enjoy?! Goddess help me, I cannot stand you nobles! Most of you are so... Arrogant, it drives me insane just to watch you chat away so blithely! I only took this cursed job because I didn't have much of a choice. It was either this or my ear was added to George's collection. I like my ears the way they are, thank you very much."
"One thing I don't understand is why I've never seen you at the Dancing Dove. You seem as though you're relatively familiar with Corus."
"Oh, I am, I am. I've seen you, and you've seen me, but you've never known it. Like I said, the only time I look like this is when I'm out at night. Speaking of which, I'd better fix my hair or people will start wondering." Audrie stood and moved over to the vanity mirror, and, sitting before it, began adding the brown-blond hair attachments she normally wore.
"So that's how you do it. But how do you change your real hair?" "Like this," Audrie's hair shone and lightened to match the color of the attachments. At the same time, her eyes changed to the light blue they appeared to be in the day. "You have the gift!" The squire pulled out a necklace and held it firmly in her grasp. At the same time, a black cat with eyes the exact same color as the squire's trotted in.
"Nothing big. I can't even heal bruises. Just lesser illusions. I can't even affect anything but myself. I almost wish I had a larger gift, but then again, it may have become a burden." Audrie sighed.
"Magic can save lives," Alan's eye's turned slightly cold. "But it can also kill them."
"I suppose. How did we even get onto the subject of magic, anyway?"
"Your hair. How you change it so."
"Oh. Yes. Well, either way," Audrie sighed, "I have to put on my cursed corset and dress, so if you don't mind..."
"Sorry," Alan made to leave before turning around, "I suppose you miss the Dancing Dove."
"Somewhat, yes." Audrie sighed. "Actually, I miss it a lot. More than I thought I would. I guess I just became so used to the informal, relaxed lifestyle of sleeping and working in the day, drinking at night at the bar and occasionally going out at night. It's so different here."
"Maybe with Jon's permission- he's my knight master after all- I could take you into town. Give you a break from all of the formality."
"If you could, I would be eternally grateful. Anything to keep me from going insane due to over-curtsying. That will drive me to the edge, I know it."
Alan laughed before opening the door and leaving.
~ ~ ~ ~
Breakfast was, as usual, full of boring old knights and prim ladies. This time Audrie had been directed to sit next to the oldest and stiffest bores in the entire realm, with Selia several table away chatting happily with another lady.
After Audrie nearly died from lack of intelligent conversation, breakfast ended and Audrie left the dining hall, only to find Raoul waiting for her once more. An icy glare from Audrie cut him off before he even started.
"If you have anything to say to me, you can say it through someone else. Mind you, I won't listen to that person either, but I most certainly won't listen to you. I don't need to be around people who accuse me left and right of the most outrageous things." Silently, Audrie knew she was being unreasonable, but a tiny, malicious part of her wanted him to know that she was angry and insulted by the concept that he would accuse her of thievery, even if she was a thief.
"Listen I just-" Raoul began, before Audrie cut him off once more.
"I told you, I don't want to hear it. Frankly, I almost considered you a friend. Guess I was wrong there. Just shows me what happens when you decide to be honest to a person." Audrie glared at him once more before stalking off in the middle of a conversation for the second time.
Nearly stomping down the halls, Audrie slammed into a young page who was walking to his next class. "Excuse me!" She glared at the boy and was about to continue stomping on, when she realized it was the same boy she had seen knife fighting.
"Well if it isn't the traitor!" Audrie was in no mood to talk to someone who had lied to her, but the hurt look on the boy's face almost made her regret her words. Almost. "Don't even bother crying in hopes of making me feel bad. I honestly don't care."
"As if I would cry!" The boy looked at Audrie indignantly.
"Apparently you've still got those awful ideals stuck in your head, despite my attempts to get rid of them!"
"They're not ideals. And I don't even know you!" The young page began to tear up, much to Audrie's guilt and disgust at the same time. "Stop that. It's just useless to cry. Go and get yourself into some fight or something, like a normal page."
"I was always told to use battle as a last resort."
"There go your ideals again," Audrie snorted, "Who told you that?"
"That thief I mentioned to you, the Ace of Spades."
"I never said-"
Audrie almost finished the sentence before sighting Alan walking down the hall. The squire was grinning at Audrie, who was grateful for the excuse to cut off her sentence.
"Why hello, Squire Alan." Audrie nodded as gracefully as she could manage.
"Hello, Lady Audrelinia." Alan began to bow before Audrie inched closer to him to promptly kick him in the shin.
"Don't bow." Audrie muttered beneath her breath. "If you bow, then I have to, and if I fall, I'll take you down with me, at all costs."
"Oh. Okay." Alan almost laughed. "Now that I think about it, it makes sense that you don't know how to curtsey."
"But I'm not going to declare it to the world!" Audrie hissed beneath her breath. "And I'd appreciate it if you did either!"
"Sorry," Alan, indeed, looked truly apologetic.
"It's alright," Audrie glanced to the side and sighed. "Now, what is it you wanted to talk to me about? Or did you just come to bow so that I would have to curtsey?"
"It's about your taking a break to go to town."
"Yes?"
"Well, I spoke to Jonathan about it..."
"You didn't tell him, did you?" Fear took over Audrie. "Do you realize what could happen if he knew?"
"I didn't tell him, so you don't have to go worrying!"
"Oh. Sorry. I just, well..."
"I think I understand. I have a similar situation. But Jon's a good person, I don't think he would turn on you." (AN: I'm defending Jon?! What on Earth am I doing? I hate him!)
"Of course, of course. Then again, you're a noble. It's different to him to snitch on a noble than it is to snitch on a commoner."
"You don't know that! You hardly even know him!"
"Right, right," Audrie decided to drop the subject. "What did he say, anyway?"
"Since he thinks you to be a lady," Alan began, before hesitating, "He thought you should have better protection than just me going with you.
"So he won't let me go?" Rage almost took over Audrie, nearly causing her to lose her composure. "But he can't do that! I've suffered this place for nearly a week now! Who's he to think I need defense?!"
"That's not what he said." Alan explained, "He said he'd prefer for you to also take along a knight. He said I should ask Raoul to go with us."
"Raoul?" Audrie began searching for a ledge to jump off of in order to commit suicide. "As if he'd like to come." Audrie snorted, "Besides, it'll much harder for me to get around with him haunting me. I'd prefer him not to come."
"That's funny, you two seemed to get along." Alan shrugged. "But Jon didn't suggest so much as insist. In fact, he already instructed Raoul to go with us. Sorry. I guess it will be a normal day in the market. I don't think we can even take you to the Dancing Dove. After all, a proper lady wouldn't go there."
"Great," Audrie muttered, "I can't even go to there. I may as well go off and start acting all prissy, since that's the way I'll act once I'm insane."
At that instant, Audrie realized that the young page from before was still there. Apparently he was just gazing at the lady and squire, quite mesmerized. He seemed to be regarding Audrie with a strange look in his eye.
"Aren't you going to be late for class?" Audrie glanced sharply at the boy, who instantly scrambled back to life and ran for his next class. Audrie sighed and looked back to Alan. "Is that all? I can go, but I still have to be a lady?"
"Well, yes. I'm really sorry, but he is my knight master after all. Without his permission, I couldn't go at all, which would mean you wouldn't be able to go."
"Can't you tell him you're visiting George or something?"
"And take you along with me? Jon would be scandalized at the thought that I brought a perfectly refined lady to the Dancing Dove to meet thieves and beggars. He would figure that you'd be traumatized by the experience."
Audrie felt like slamming her head against the table. Did all noblemen think women to be so weak? Did all noblewomen conform to this belief? The concept made Audrie sick to her stomach. "So there's nothing you can do to change his mind and not make us take anyone else along?"
"No. I honestly believe there's nothing I could do to convince him. Generally, when Jon decides something, he sticks to it."
"Great, just great. Thanks anyways. I guess I'll feign illness from eating bad food or obtain a sudden dislike for large amounts of sunshine. That should get me out of having to go and obsess over the quality of the fabric of the most expensive dresses." Audrie sighed and shook her head. The things she had to do to escape such fates.
Alan suddenly remembered that he had to finish some paperwork in the library, and headed off in that direction. Audrie, in the meanwhile, returned to her room until lunch, and after that she spent her time lounging about in the garden avoiding any lady coming to admire the flowers. After watering the single weed in the garden that had changed from nearly dying of thirst and about two inches tall to now thick with thorns, alive and well, and had grown several inches in the near week that Audrie had been caring for it.
Dinner passed, amazingly, uneventfully, despite Audrie's attempts to liven her day by secretly tossing her mashed potatoes at the king with her spoon. Unfortunately, her attempts failed due to the fact that Roger was at her table to loom over her, making sure she ate every bite of her food and slipped none of it under the table.
~ ~ ~ ~
Overnight it rained, leaving a thick mist on the ground and preventing Audrie from using the excuse of too much sunlight for a reason to forget the trip to Corus. And she appeared perfectly healthy, despite her attempts to appear sick, so she was forced to lug herself out of bed at the crack of dawn to ready herself and pack the 'necessities' any normal lady would require for such a trip, such as ten gallons of perfume and five day's supply of food, in case, of course, they got lost between the palace and the stable. In fact she was packing her waitress' dress and red hair attachment, along with her signature black scarf and cards. In the second before Alan knocked on her door Audrie shoved in her favorite heavily soled black boots.
"Ready?" Alan asked from the doorway as Audrie strived to close her bags.
"About as ready as a finch is a flamingo." Audrie muttered in reply, and in desperation slammed her foot into the bag to squish everything in and then sat on it.
"Do you want a few more minutes?"
"Try a few days, to cram everything in here and then think up an excuse to unpack it all." At last the things within the bag were crammed enough that Audrie could barely tie the strings around them, and, with the help of Alan, Audrie dragged it out the door and off to the stables to attach to her poor horse.
"Obviously the thing will be lame after this trip." Audrie looked at Alan and tried to force a grin.
"No, our horses are more fit than that. He'll just have terrible back pains."
"As would any normal beast that tried to carry a load this size." Audrie massaged her shoulders, aching due to the burden now tied to the horse.
"What did you put in there that weighed so much?"
"Oh, not much. Just a few things here and there, in case of emergency," Audrie lied through her teeth. Better for Alan not to know that Audrie had plans to go against Jon's wishes.
~ ~ ~ ~
The trip to the city was a long and rather sullen one. Audrie still refused to speak to Raoul, who constantly attempted to talk to her through Alan. Alan, quite reasonably, enjoyed being the intermediary about as much as a cat enjoys water. Thus everyone sulked wordlessly throughout the entire trip, for some reason or another. Once they were at Corus, Audrie livened up slightly. She bothered to look up, and even smiled warmly when she spotted a friend of hers pickpocketing a snobbish old lady. Better this than nothing, Audrie resolved.
"I think we should go ahead and stable our horses," Audrie suggested, "At the- where do you think we could stable them? An inn nearby would be convenient enough."
Alan raised an eyebrow at Audrie. "But we won't be staying the night."
"Of course not. Just because you stable horses at an inn doesn't mean you intend to stay there for the night. Where else would we stable them but at an inn?" Audrie shook off Alan's suspicion with a shrug.
"I suppose she's right." Raoul nodded to Alan. "We might as well stable the horses at the Dancing Dove. Goddess knows her horse needs a break from all of her luggage. What did you bring, rocks?"
"You found me out," Audrie replied with a tart tone. "We may as well get going." Turning her horse away from Raoul with an cold aloofness, Audrie waited for the others to move ahead of her and show her the way to the inn that she already knew every route to by heart.
Alan just glanced at Audrie before nudging his horse forward, with Raoul following behind. The group arrived at the back of the Dancing Dove in an attempt not to draw too much attention to the fact they had a noble lady traveling with them.
A stable hand came up to lead their horses, and gave Audrie a wary look, before just shaking his head. The stable hand took the horses to the crossties, where Raoul and Alan insisted upon taking care of their own horses, merely because they suspected the stable hand of stealing horses with careless owners. Audrie, on the other hand, gladly gave the duty of grooming her horse, lathered with sweat, to the stable hand.
Knight and squire both worked hard to make sure their horses were clean and could be well rested for the journey home, spending more than enough time making sure to attempt to erase any sweat marks. In the time they were so consumed by their work, they didn't notice that Audrie was long gone, having left the stable the instant she handed the reins to the stable worker.
Indeed, Audrie had worked the morning mists to her advantage, sneaking away as soon as possible. She figured Raoul would think she had gone and lost herself in the fog, but Alan would think otherwise, yet hopefully wouldn't mention it. Perhaps they would even forget her and wander the town for the day.
As Audrie crawled into George's rooms through one of the many passageways, Audrie wondered how she would meet up with them, and what sort of excuse she could concoct in order to explain it all. Dismissing the thought for later, Audrie fell out of the passageway and into George's closet, apparently open, with George sifting around for a shirt.
"Surprise." Audrie grinned at the slightly amazed, slightly annoyed look on George's face. In Audrie's arms were her boots and dress, along with a pair of breeches and her scarf. Standing up, Audrie shook the dust from the passageway off her dress and walked past George into his rooms. "So."
"So? Dare I ask what you're doing back?" George put a palm to his forehead.
"Do you know what I endured while I was there? Goddess protect me, it was awful! I always sat next to the most boring people at meals, women chatting away blithely about the most handsome man in court and men talking about their favorite armory or who they slept with recently. It's a terror, George, really. Look at me, I'm talking like one of them too!" Audrie proceeded to begin slamming her head against the nearest wall. "Maybe that will force all of their cursed manners out of my head."After about three slams, Audrie allowed her gaze to rest on George.
"So that's it? You got sick of having to put up with manners? If that's all, you had better come up with a better excuse."
"Define 'better.'" Audrie stuck her tongue out. "If that was all, I wouldn't be here. Honestly, I just can't stand those people any more. And it's not like I'm giving up the project. Just visiting for the day. Really. I asked permission to come and everything. Now let me change into my waitress outfit and I'll work for the day and then be back at the palace before you can say the lines to the longest spell in the world ten times fast."
"Audrie, the longest spell in the world can take up to a year to complete.
"Yeah, well, still." Audrie began taking off her dress. "Turn away, turn away. I have modesty, you know."
"I couldn't tell." George retorted dryly as he turned to continue looking through his closet.
When he at last found one and turned around, Audrie was fully dressed in her black breeches under her red and white waitress dress, her thick soled charcoal black boots and scarf tied around her waist. The only thing she was missing was her flame red false hair, which she held in clumps in her hands. Indeed, she planted herself in front of the mirror and began fixing her hair only moments after George had put the shirt on.
Audrie was at last tying her hair up with a leather thong when Jered knocked on the door and entered at the exact same time. The man was so surprised at seeing Audrie in George's rooms that he nearly fell backwards.
"Audrie? What in the Gods' names are you doing here?"
"Putting up my hair. That's not going to kill anyone, now is it?" Audrie glared at Jered, only to soften at seeing her friend's expression. "Oh, come off it. I'm just staying for the day. That palace was driving me insane. I had to escape for the day."
"And they let you? I thought nobles considered women to be too weak to defend themselves." Jered snorted. "Then again, if they knew your real personality..."
"What's that supposed to imply?"
"That you have a nasty, nasty disposition when it comes to making enemies."
As Audrie finished tying up her hair, Jered sat down in a soft leather chair. Audrie walked over to stand next to him and grill him for the latest best and worst steals. At that instant, Jered pulled her onto his lap, laughing. Audrie couldn't help but laugh as well, despite her annoyance at the gesture. Unfortunately, it was also at that instant that Gary and Raoul walked into the room.
~ ~ ~ ~
AN: Oh, I couldn't help but leave it at that spot. You see, if I didn't stop it there, this chapter would go on for forever and ever, since there's no other place to really stop it, especially since the next couple parts are particularly important. Be grateful I made it this long. It was either stop here, or stop at the end of the first day in this chapter (Saturday) which would have made it nearly half as long. Sorry for the unimportant, boring author's notes, but I really couldn't help it. Thanks again!