Disclaimer: I don't own Tamora Pierce's works. In the alternate Universe
where everyone can sing in tune and my isn't regularly ripped apart by my
little sister, I do, but not in this one. Oh, and by the way, the ginger
comment (about Roger) is actually not one of my own. Thank Terry Pratchett
for the lovely idea.
Author's Notes: Wow! Twelve reviews! I'm so happy.... ^.^... yeah. Special thanks to everyone who said the pairing they wanted in the end. Apparently, in the beginning everyone wanted Audrie/Raoul and now everyone's changed their minds and wants Audrie/Jered. Minor note: Jered prances around and is all feminine because I like him that way. If he didn't do that sort of stuff he wouldn't be half as interesting. So I'm not changing that, no matter what. Apparently no one likes Ballin much. Ah, well, I put it up to the readers because I couldn't decide, so I can't have much say in the matter. *Special thanks to Hisako-chan for giving me a really long review! I love long reviews, especially ones that say I've improved and stuff. Very good for my ego, it is.
~ ~ ~ ~
Audrie woke with a jolt as she rolled off the bed for what must have tenth time since she began her stay at the palace. Groaning in pain and rubbing a red nose, she blinked fiercely trying to force her eyes open. Within moments Sarri was fluttering about, insisting upon helping Audrie bathe, dress, scratch her toes...
"What is so important about today?" Audrie grouched and then gasped as Sarri pulled the strings of the corset to an rib-breaking tightness. "Not so tight!" No loosening occurred.
"But m'lady, the prince is announcing several guests tonight, and it is the third night of the balls. Certainly you would like to look nice tonight."
"Not particularly." Audrie glared at the revealing deep blue dress that Sarri had taken out of the closet. "Absolutely not! I will not wear that to court!"
"You will, m'lady. It's simply perfect on you." At which the dress was promptly shoved over Audrie's head before she could voice further complaints.
Icy silence exuded from Audrie until she left the room, muttering about evil servants. She walked into the dining room to discover that her luck in terms of seating arrangements had obviously ran out. She had been placed right next to Roger and Delia, with only the most boring knights as support. She immediately switched from cursing Sarri to swearing that if she ever met the seating arranger he would find himself in sore predicaments involving a wine bottle in uncomfortable places.
However displeased Audrie was with the seating arrangements, Roger was nearly ecstatic. He instantly insisted that the knight across from him switch places with her, and Audrie barely kept from smacking him as he began staring at her chest with a disconcerting enrapture.
"What a lovely...dress you're wearing today, my lady." A dazed smile wandered idly onto Roger's lips.
"How kind of you to say so." Audrie nodded politely towards Delia and the other knights at the table, but silently vowed that should she die within two seconds it would be too late for her liking.
Despite her occasional wave in front of Roger's face, Roger continued to stare consistently at Audrie's chest, resulting in a rather disgruntled (AN: Isn't that such a great word?) and annoyed Audrie. Towards the end of the meal conversation had drifted towards different species of fish, as suggested by the elderly knight who sat diagonal from Audrie, who was known to have never actually fought in his life, but rather fished daily. At last, just as the old knight began to list the various subspecies of tuna, breakfast ended and Audrie fled the table before the man could even finish 'Thunnus Alalunga'.
Stomping her way out of the dining hall Audrie muttered vicious thoughts about Roger. "And here I thought conversations couldn't get any worse with those old court ladies. He ought to have some ginger shoved up his-" Audrie felt a sudden pain in her nose, and realized she had walked straight into a wall.
"You enjoy walking into walls, I take it?" Raoul grinned as she rubbed her abused nose.
"It's not my fault." She sulked, "I was...distracted."
"About..?"
"I won't name any names, but his name begins with R, ends with R and has O, G, and E in between, though not necessarily in that order."
Raoul simply sighed, silently swearing that he'd never understand Audrie's seemly wanton loathing of Roger. "I don't suppose you have time for a walk today?"
"Well," Audrie hesitated, wondering if Jered would decide to randomly pop up in her room again. "I don't know if I'll have the time."
"Everyone's barely had time to see you," Raoul protested, despite the lack of actual refusal.
"'Everyone,' as you call them, has seen me at the ball each night." Audrie retorted.
"Yes, but, that's different."
"How so?"
"You're gone half the time, dancing. And it's so formal."
Audrie arched an eyebrow. "Everything in court is formal."
"Not when you're around. You change everyone."
"I do, do I?" Audrie sighed and resigned. Giving a sly grin, she finally answered with, "I suppose I could fit you in between powdering my face to death and dying from lack of oxygen due to corset."
"I suppose we'll be lucky to see you at dinner then."
"You're lucky I haven't died yet."
~ ~ ~ ~
Audrie entered her room expecting to see Jered plunked on her bed once more, waiting for her to return. But the room was eerily silent, to the point where Audrie wondered whether something was wrong. Suspiciously, she checked under the bed and in the closet, and anywhere else someone might be hiding. Finally, she peered into the empty darkness of the hidden passageway behind the painting, and realized that the silence wasn't because of someone being there, it was the lack of someone being there. Usually Sarri would be in the room, ready to pamper and fret over Audrie the minute she entered.
Audrie glanced around and spotted, in accordance to Murphy's Law, a tiny note left on the desk where, naturally, it would be expected to be the first place to look for the note but the last Audrie would actually look. The note was written in a loose, clumsy handwriting that Audrie didn't think was actually Sarri's, more likely she had a more educated servant write it for her. Audrie took several moments to decipher the note, which had many misspellings and several words that couldn't be read at all. Audrie finally figured out that it said, 'M'lady, M'lord Raoul requested that I not bother you today for he had' Several words were scratched out here, much to Audrie's annoyance, 'Intentions. I thought it best if I wasn't around if he'd be asking questions of such sort.'
'Intentions?' Audrie's eyelid tick was back. 'What in the Goddess' name did Raoul mean by that?' It dawned on her that Raoul had probably said he wished to speak to her and Sarri had taken it in the romantic, wedding type way. Audrie silently added Sarri to the list of people of which life would be much more pleasant without. Roger and the Seating Arranger were already on the list, which no doubt would grow in size.
Before she could finish thinking up terrible punishments for the three on her list, there was a light tap on the door. "First time somebody's actually knocked in ages." She muttered, and opened the door to find, not much to her surprise, Raoul. "Haven't powdered my face yet." She replied before he could even say anything, "You'll have to wait."
"Don't you need a servant to help you with that? There doesn't seem to be one around." Raoul was attempting to look vaguely innocent, but failed miserably.
"She left a note you know," Audrie's face was one of severest annoyance. "If taking a walk is that important to you, you should have said." "It's a delicate subject I wanted to talk about."
"I'm not good with delicate subjects. I tend to break them." Then it hit Audrie. "Did you, um, use those exact words when speaking to the servant?"
"Yes. Why."
Audrie's face turned a faint pink. "Well, she took it the wrong way. I wouldn't use such wording with her if I was you."
"What do you mean, 'took it the wrong way'?" Raoul looked at her warily.
"Well, she thought you meant...mumblemumblemumble..."
"Hm? I don't think I heard you." Raoul's face was one of confusion, but Audrie had a suspicion that he was actually enjoying this.
"SHE THOUGHT...mumblemumblemumble..."
"I missed it again." Audrie could have sworn he was forcing a solemn face.
"SHE THOUGHT YOU WERE GOING TO ASK ME A QUESTION." Audrie's face was bright red.
"Well, yes. I was wondering if you cared to go on a walk."
"I answered that earlier. And that wasn't the sort of question she meant."
"Hm, would you like to go right now?" Raoul ignored the second half of the question entirely.
Audrie resigned once more and nodded, almost grateful for the excuse to not entirely explain what Sarri had thought. Raoul held up his arm for Audrie to place her own on, but she deftly ignored it and swept out of the room with all the grace she could manage.
Fresh snow crunched beneath their feet as they walked in silence together, and Audrie didn't bother to ask where the others were, though she wondered, particularly since half the reason he had said they should go on a walk was because the others of his usual group had been wanting to talk to her in a less stiff atmosphere than the balls.
As they strolled, Raoul finally managed to bring up some sort of conversation. "What do you plan to do after the midwinter balls end?"
The question hung in the air icily for several moments before Audrie answered lightly, "Go home, I suppose. To my fief."
"You won't be staying? Other ladies from the convent will be." "Yes, well, I have obligations."
Audrie thought of returning to the Dancing Doves, to working as a waitress and having so much more freedom. No more corsets, no more tiny shoes, no more stiff manners and dances. No more long strolls in the snow showing knights that women had intelligence as well, no more teaching boring court ladies to think for themselves. No more sneaking into rooms and playing malicious pranks. Well, maybe some of those still.
"Like what?"
"Well, I, um, that is..." It struck Audrie that noble women weren't supposed to have any obligations other than to marry and be a good wife and mother. And she wasn't planing any of those any time soon. "Well, my father died." She certainly pulled that out of thin air. "And I'll have to take care of the fief."
"Wasn't it burned down months ago?"
"Well, that is, my father died in the fire." That worked.
"No one died though."
"Of course, he died during the fire, not actually in it, that is. He, um, died of consumption in his room while everyone was escaping."
Raoul gave her a Look, but said nothing. A few moments passed.
"I suppose you'll have to marry then."
"What? When was that mentioned?"
"A noblewoman can't run a fief. You'll have to marry."
"I can run that fief perfectly fine, thank you very much. I don't need any nobleman to do it for me."
"But there's a law..." Audrie's icy-look-of-death forced Raoul into silence.
Silence predominated the walk from there on out, and as soon as they had come back to the palace doors Audrie insisted upon showing herself to her rooms without Raoul.
~ ~ ~ ~
As soon as Audrie returned to her rooms she found Sarri sitting expectantly, waiting for Audrie to burst into squeals of joy at being proposed to. Disappointment fell onto her face as she saw Audrie's grim expression.
"He didn't ask, m'lady?"
Audrie directed her icy-look-of-death towards Sarri. "I never expected him to."
Discomfort engulfed Sarri, but curiosity won over. "Why then, m'lady, are you so unhappy?"
The was an uncomfortable silence. "Nothing important to you."
Sarri merely nodded and, trembling, left the room.
~ ~ ~ ~
Audrie walked down the hall in something of a moody silence, ignoring Roger's attempts to walk her to the dining hall. As she neared her seating place, she spotted Raoul heading towards her.
"Lady Audrelinia..." Raoul began, but before Raoul could even begin to say anything Audrie had swept past him in an icy silence. He stared for a few moments and then sighed and went to his designated seat.
As soon as Audrie had sat down, she instantly wished she hadn't sat down at all. Across from her was the prince and several others that were seemingly important. On one side of her sat the king and queen of Tusaine, on the other side, their daughter. All thoughts of asking the daughter's age fled as she stood up and promptly left the hall.
Twenty minutes passed before Audrie's stomach decide to hijack her brain. 'I'm more important than you,' was its logic (AN: This often happens during tests of sorts, where, during the math final, you promptly answer everything with 'double cheeseburger and large fries', and so on). But her stomach insisted that it had as much honor, or at least vague dignity, as to refuse to return to the dining hall. 'Let's go to the kitchen' it insisted, 'besides, you get better food there. It's still warm and such.'
Returning to her room, Audrie changed her appearance to her thief outfit. She didn't bother to take the corset off though, assuming that she would be able to get it on by herself, and would barely have enough time to change back into a dress before the ball as it was.
Audrie used the secret passage to get into the kitchen, though in all of the chaos, she wondered if anyone would have noticed if she had just walked right in and ordered her food that way. Nimbly taking a bowl of soup from a passing squire, who didn't notice at all, Audrie slunk back into the shadows of the pantry to eat. Closing the door quietly, she laughed silently at how she had literally hidden herself in daylight, so obviously not trying to hide herself that she was hidden.
She had been eating the soup silently when she heard a slam against the pantry door and angry voices outside. One of them she recognized to be of the page she had trained while in Naren, Torran. He seemed to be the one slammed against the door.
"You think you're so great at knife fighting?" A voice hissed at Torran.
"I only think I'm better than you, not the best. That goes to my teacher." Audrie heard Torran reply calmly. A hint of pride at his comment about her was edged with slight annoyance at his freeness at referencing her.
"You were taught by a commoner." Sneered another voice, accenting the word 'commoner' as though it was something equivalent to 'slug'. "You won't have much ability then. Meet us out at the practice fields in twenty minutes and prove you're so great, oh Sir 'Taught by the Greatest Thief There Ever Lived'. Besides, I learned a few things from a thief, as well. Right proper thief he was, too. Not some silly 'Spades,' a real fighter."
"You just blackmailed him into it!" Torran's voice rose into the anger that Audrie had felt when Torran had first told her he had been taught to fight by a thief.
"'Course, no other way to get 'em to teach you. Only thief that'd agree to teach you any other way would have to be a pretty pathetic- or poor- thief." The voices faded off into the din of the kitchen, and Audrie heard Torran sigh in relief and leave.
Audrie was annoyed at the way the other boys had spoken about commoners, and her pride of having taught Torran all of what he knew about knife- fighting urged her to follow him. After waiting several minutes just to make sure he really had left, Audrie confidently walked out of the pantry and, except for a few odd looks from a page, who shook his head confusedly, walked out of the kitchen unnoticed.
Audrie silently walked out onto the grass of the practice fields, and noticed that the moonlight was all that the two pages had to fight by. 'That's a proper fight, not with spectators and a point system or anything. A fight you could use on the streets and everyday, without the perfect conditions they have at the indoor fighting courts. Dew-damp grass perfect to slip and break a wrist on, bad light to see by, it was much easier to get injured during a fight like this if you didn't watch both the opponent and your step.' She thought, and smiled, reminiscing on fights she'd had like this one.
She saw that there was in fact a total of four boys including Torran, and wondered whether he was being daft enough to actually try to take them all on at once. She had taught him everything he knew, but he didn't know all that much.
Standing in the shadow of a building, Audrie watched as Torran and one of the boys seperated themselves from the other two and set off with a proper 'One, two' and slashed at each other before the other could count to three. It was never right to actually start at three.
After a few minutes of watching, Audrie noticed that Torran wasn't doing as fabulously as he should have been. Walking over to stand next to the two boys that were watching she commented, in a casual tone, "Tsk, that blow must've hurt."
"Yeah." Replied one, not taking his eyes off the two fighters, "Leon likes to hit where it hurts." "And look at that," She said in a chastising tone, "The daft boy's playing by the rules. That's against the rules, that is."
The two boys merely nodded, apparently not having noticed that she was actually there.
"Yeah," Said the second one, "He's got this weird idea 'bout having honor and that business."
"Now, I know it wasn't ME who taught him that. I always told him that in a fight, honor isn't worth everything people says it is."
A moment passed before the comment was computed by the two boys' brains. Then, in unison, they looked to their fellow commentator.
"Wh-who're you?" The first one asked, his voice now somewhat weak.
"Who do you think I am?"
"You know Torran...?"
"Sure I know him. He's a great boy, though a bit airy at times. Least ways, back when I knew him better."
"Yah, real nice."
Though it was too dark to properly see her 'icy-look-of-death,' it was obvious she was giving it to them, by the tone of her voice. "Oh really? And here I was under the impression you disliked him."
"N-not particularly." It was the first boy, who Audrie know recognized to be the first voice to speak to Torran while she was in the pantry. "I mean, that is, 's not really us that hate 'im. J-just Leon."
"Leon, is it? I'm also under the impression he thinks I'm not a talented fighter. I'll have to speak to him about it."
Before the two boys could stop her, Audrie marched over to Torran and Leon, who were now wrestling, knives still in their hands. Looking down at them, she promptly kicked them both in very sensitive spots.
"Get up, brats." She nudged Torran with her boot, who was huddled on the ground in a fetal position in pain.
"You didn't have to kick that hard!" Torran retorted through gritted teeth.
"I'm devastated. Up. Now." She stopped nudging Torran to go over the Leon, and started nudging him a bit harder than Torran. Some might've called her nudged a stiff kicking, but Audrie always really considered it to be nudging. "I have a bone to pick with you."
The two boys struggled to their feet, both surprised to see Audrie appear at random, though Torran appeared less surprised than Leon.
"What're you doing here, Spades?" He grinned, and received a thin smile in return.
"Proving a point." Audrie briskly nodded towards Leon. "I believe you have something you shouldn't."
"I don't have anything right now. Except the knife, but if you think it's not good 'n' allowed to have a knife during a fight, you're wrong lady."
"No, knives are perfectly allowed. I'm partial to them myself. I was referring, rather, to you dignity. Simply shouldn't have any, if you ask me. But I'll lend you a favor, and go ahead and strip you of it. And if you have any left after that, we'll strip you and send you into the dining hall."
It suddenly dawned on Leon that he was speaking to the thief that Torran claimed to be his teacher. "You're a lady!"
"Never been a lady in my life, never plan to. I'm female, though, if that's what you're talking about."
"What's your deal about stripping me of my dignity? The fight's not over, wench."
Audrie sighed. "The fight's long over, but a new one's just beginning. She took Torran's knife and pointed it towards Leon in what she felt was vaguely over dramatic but seemed appropriate. "Only this time it's not with the student, but with the teacher."
"I'm not some fool. I don't need to fight a woman to know I'm better than her."
Audrie smiled maliciously and took a step towards him. "May I suggest, Little Boy, that if you're afraid of fighting, you not anger those with real talent. Of course, it's a bit late now." She lunged forward and cut a thin line across his neck, and without even the 'one, two' the fight was one.
Slashes flurried through the air as Leon dodged, lunged and block while Audrie grinned and attacked consistently, with an occasional movement to the side to avoid a knife. The slightly sadistic glint in her eye had stayed there from the minute the fight began, and it gave Leon the feeling that she knew something that he should, if he wanted to live much longer.
"You're too consistent in your attacks. Lunge, lunge, lunge, that's all you ever do." Audrie slashed across and ripped his shirt, barely missing ripping his flesh along with it. Then suddenly he grin and swooped under, and grabbed her by the shoulders. She was jerked violently so that they had traded places and he slammed her against the oak tree that she just realized to be there.
"I don't only lunge, lady." He grinned, and a certain silence fell over the area as she looked at him emotionlessly. "I was thinking that, since we're here, maybe I could just have some... fun."
He grinned and silently took her knife out of her hands. One hand pressing her against the tree, his other hand began to wander. Then he noticed that the glint, that evil glint, was still in her eye. In a flash of movement she ducked down, his palm smashing into the oak where she was a split second ago, and ran between his legs, making sure to elbow him in the groin as she went past.
Turning around, she saw Leon turn to face her, his face twisted in pain. "You hit below the belt!"
"No rule that you can't." She said conversationally, "Besides, who follows the rules? Either way, I have nothing below the belt for you to hit, so it doesn't make much of a difference to me."
Leon sneered, but it flashed into a grin as a thought struck him. "You don't have a knife. I still do."
Audrie sighed. "Having a knife isn't everything, you know." In a flash of speed and grace of a cat, she drew three knives from her boot and threw them with unerring aim at Leon, pinning him to the tree. "But they always help, don't they."
Walking up to him, she pulled a fourth knife from her sleeve and pressed it to his throat. The gleam had never left her eye, and the mask of emotionlessness chilled Leon to the bone.
"You know," Audrie said, her voice icy, "I've always noticed that men who get on my bad side never stay on my bad side for very long."
Leon leered. "You women always forgive easily."
"I was leaning more towards the idea that they don't live long enough to stay on my bad side."
Leon paled. "If I die, people will notice. You'll be suspected."
"People will notice, surely, And judging from your personality, rejoice at your death. I wouldn't be surprised if they held an extra ball, just to celebrate your death." Audrie sighed. "Of course, you already have enough of those, so why don't we just, say, let you off, for today?"
Leon grinned. "Course you will, lady."
"For a fine."
The grin fell. "I don't have anything you want."
"Course you don't, I've taken it all already. By the way," Audrie's voice was covered in honey as she brought up a ring that had been on his finger. "I do so love the make of this ring. Where did you buy it?"
"It was my mother's." Leon's Adams apple bobbed slightly. "She'd kill me if I lost it."
"I'll inform her that you dropped it down the drain."
"You don't know her, you don't even know my fief."
"No," Audrie grinned, "But I can find out. And that's not the worst I have planned for you."
~ ~ ~ ~
Audrie changed swiftly from her thief outfit to her court dress for the ball, which started in twenty minutes. Feeling vaguely refreshed at having gotten some proper exercise, She nearly bounced out of her room, sandy curls flopping.
"You can't do that!" Wailed a voice from behind her, "It's not fair!"
"Now when was fairness ever entertaining." She smiled evilly.
"That's cruel, that is." Leon protested.
"You have no say in the matter. I for one think that taking the blame for the prank with Roger is a far worse part of the punishment. "
"But telling my mother I need a good lecture on women?! You don't know her! She can talk for hours on that sort of thing!"
"Well then you'll simply have to listen. I'll be sure to ask her to make the speech particularly long. And if you don't come back having proper respect for women - and I'll be sure to check- you'll be in sore trouble. I have far worse, more physical punishments for people who don't do as I say.
~ ~ ~ ~
Audrie entered the usual humdrum of the ball and trailed over to the usual group of knights, including Gary, Raoul, Alex, Squire Alan and, after some time, the prince. She nodded and smiled, to each of them, praying they would accept that instead of a curtsey. They seemed to understand her loathing of curtseys and didn't comment.
Raoul gave her an odd look, not understanding what had caused the sudden change from cold to cheerful. Audrie pretended not to notice.
"My lady," Jonathan walked over to her with a concerned look, " We were worried when you did not dine with us."
'That's the trouble with royalty' thought Audrie, 'You never knew when 'we' referred to just them or an actual group. Despite this thought, Audrie replied calmly, "I was not feeling at all well, your highness. I ate soup in my rooms."
"You were sick?" A voice that sent chills down Audrie's back popped up behind her. "I hope you are feeling better now, for I would ask this dance of you."
"Already taken, sorry." Audrie gripped Raoul by the arm and dragged him off to the dance floor.
~ ~ ~ ~
Returning from the ball, Audrie dumped her stash in the closet with the rest. Switching back into her thief outfit, she set out for the night, reminding herself to skip Raoul's rooms. She didn't feel like nearly killing herself jumping off towers again.
~ ~ ~ ~
Author's notes: There's always more of 'em. You know, each chapter gets longer than the one before... Actually, the word count is about the same (4,500?!), but oh well. By the by, seven reviews till the 150th reviewer (I feel so loved!). And that person gets to pick the pairing. Just hope that whoever it is shares pairing preferences with you. Also, if I get enough requests I'll write Alternate Endings and such. And perhaps (if I'm feeling benevolent at the end of this) I'll write a continuation. Or maybe not. I hear unintended continuations never work out. Plus, I'll have run out of decent disclaimers. And you know how terrible THAT would be.
Author's Notes: Wow! Twelve reviews! I'm so happy.... ^.^... yeah. Special thanks to everyone who said the pairing they wanted in the end. Apparently, in the beginning everyone wanted Audrie/Raoul and now everyone's changed their minds and wants Audrie/Jered. Minor note: Jered prances around and is all feminine because I like him that way. If he didn't do that sort of stuff he wouldn't be half as interesting. So I'm not changing that, no matter what. Apparently no one likes Ballin much. Ah, well, I put it up to the readers because I couldn't decide, so I can't have much say in the matter. *Special thanks to Hisako-chan for giving me a really long review! I love long reviews, especially ones that say I've improved and stuff. Very good for my ego, it is.
~ ~ ~ ~
Audrie woke with a jolt as she rolled off the bed for what must have tenth time since she began her stay at the palace. Groaning in pain and rubbing a red nose, she blinked fiercely trying to force her eyes open. Within moments Sarri was fluttering about, insisting upon helping Audrie bathe, dress, scratch her toes...
"What is so important about today?" Audrie grouched and then gasped as Sarri pulled the strings of the corset to an rib-breaking tightness. "Not so tight!" No loosening occurred.
"But m'lady, the prince is announcing several guests tonight, and it is the third night of the balls. Certainly you would like to look nice tonight."
"Not particularly." Audrie glared at the revealing deep blue dress that Sarri had taken out of the closet. "Absolutely not! I will not wear that to court!"
"You will, m'lady. It's simply perfect on you." At which the dress was promptly shoved over Audrie's head before she could voice further complaints.
Icy silence exuded from Audrie until she left the room, muttering about evil servants. She walked into the dining room to discover that her luck in terms of seating arrangements had obviously ran out. She had been placed right next to Roger and Delia, with only the most boring knights as support. She immediately switched from cursing Sarri to swearing that if she ever met the seating arranger he would find himself in sore predicaments involving a wine bottle in uncomfortable places.
However displeased Audrie was with the seating arrangements, Roger was nearly ecstatic. He instantly insisted that the knight across from him switch places with her, and Audrie barely kept from smacking him as he began staring at her chest with a disconcerting enrapture.
"What a lovely...dress you're wearing today, my lady." A dazed smile wandered idly onto Roger's lips.
"How kind of you to say so." Audrie nodded politely towards Delia and the other knights at the table, but silently vowed that should she die within two seconds it would be too late for her liking.
Despite her occasional wave in front of Roger's face, Roger continued to stare consistently at Audrie's chest, resulting in a rather disgruntled (AN: Isn't that such a great word?) and annoyed Audrie. Towards the end of the meal conversation had drifted towards different species of fish, as suggested by the elderly knight who sat diagonal from Audrie, who was known to have never actually fought in his life, but rather fished daily. At last, just as the old knight began to list the various subspecies of tuna, breakfast ended and Audrie fled the table before the man could even finish 'Thunnus Alalunga'.
Stomping her way out of the dining hall Audrie muttered vicious thoughts about Roger. "And here I thought conversations couldn't get any worse with those old court ladies. He ought to have some ginger shoved up his-" Audrie felt a sudden pain in her nose, and realized she had walked straight into a wall.
"You enjoy walking into walls, I take it?" Raoul grinned as she rubbed her abused nose.
"It's not my fault." She sulked, "I was...distracted."
"About..?"
"I won't name any names, but his name begins with R, ends with R and has O, G, and E in between, though not necessarily in that order."
Raoul simply sighed, silently swearing that he'd never understand Audrie's seemly wanton loathing of Roger. "I don't suppose you have time for a walk today?"
"Well," Audrie hesitated, wondering if Jered would decide to randomly pop up in her room again. "I don't know if I'll have the time."
"Everyone's barely had time to see you," Raoul protested, despite the lack of actual refusal.
"'Everyone,' as you call them, has seen me at the ball each night." Audrie retorted.
"Yes, but, that's different."
"How so?"
"You're gone half the time, dancing. And it's so formal."
Audrie arched an eyebrow. "Everything in court is formal."
"Not when you're around. You change everyone."
"I do, do I?" Audrie sighed and resigned. Giving a sly grin, she finally answered with, "I suppose I could fit you in between powdering my face to death and dying from lack of oxygen due to corset."
"I suppose we'll be lucky to see you at dinner then."
"You're lucky I haven't died yet."
~ ~ ~ ~
Audrie entered her room expecting to see Jered plunked on her bed once more, waiting for her to return. But the room was eerily silent, to the point where Audrie wondered whether something was wrong. Suspiciously, she checked under the bed and in the closet, and anywhere else someone might be hiding. Finally, she peered into the empty darkness of the hidden passageway behind the painting, and realized that the silence wasn't because of someone being there, it was the lack of someone being there. Usually Sarri would be in the room, ready to pamper and fret over Audrie the minute she entered.
Audrie glanced around and spotted, in accordance to Murphy's Law, a tiny note left on the desk where, naturally, it would be expected to be the first place to look for the note but the last Audrie would actually look. The note was written in a loose, clumsy handwriting that Audrie didn't think was actually Sarri's, more likely she had a more educated servant write it for her. Audrie took several moments to decipher the note, which had many misspellings and several words that couldn't be read at all. Audrie finally figured out that it said, 'M'lady, M'lord Raoul requested that I not bother you today for he had' Several words were scratched out here, much to Audrie's annoyance, 'Intentions. I thought it best if I wasn't around if he'd be asking questions of such sort.'
'Intentions?' Audrie's eyelid tick was back. 'What in the Goddess' name did Raoul mean by that?' It dawned on her that Raoul had probably said he wished to speak to her and Sarri had taken it in the romantic, wedding type way. Audrie silently added Sarri to the list of people of which life would be much more pleasant without. Roger and the Seating Arranger were already on the list, which no doubt would grow in size.
Before she could finish thinking up terrible punishments for the three on her list, there was a light tap on the door. "First time somebody's actually knocked in ages." She muttered, and opened the door to find, not much to her surprise, Raoul. "Haven't powdered my face yet." She replied before he could even say anything, "You'll have to wait."
"Don't you need a servant to help you with that? There doesn't seem to be one around." Raoul was attempting to look vaguely innocent, but failed miserably.
"She left a note you know," Audrie's face was one of severest annoyance. "If taking a walk is that important to you, you should have said." "It's a delicate subject I wanted to talk about."
"I'm not good with delicate subjects. I tend to break them." Then it hit Audrie. "Did you, um, use those exact words when speaking to the servant?"
"Yes. Why."
Audrie's face turned a faint pink. "Well, she took it the wrong way. I wouldn't use such wording with her if I was you."
"What do you mean, 'took it the wrong way'?" Raoul looked at her warily.
"Well, she thought you meant...mumblemumblemumble..."
"Hm? I don't think I heard you." Raoul's face was one of confusion, but Audrie had a suspicion that he was actually enjoying this.
"SHE THOUGHT...mumblemumblemumble..."
"I missed it again." Audrie could have sworn he was forcing a solemn face.
"SHE THOUGHT YOU WERE GOING TO ASK ME A QUESTION." Audrie's face was bright red.
"Well, yes. I was wondering if you cared to go on a walk."
"I answered that earlier. And that wasn't the sort of question she meant."
"Hm, would you like to go right now?" Raoul ignored the second half of the question entirely.
Audrie resigned once more and nodded, almost grateful for the excuse to not entirely explain what Sarri had thought. Raoul held up his arm for Audrie to place her own on, but she deftly ignored it and swept out of the room with all the grace she could manage.
Fresh snow crunched beneath their feet as they walked in silence together, and Audrie didn't bother to ask where the others were, though she wondered, particularly since half the reason he had said they should go on a walk was because the others of his usual group had been wanting to talk to her in a less stiff atmosphere than the balls.
As they strolled, Raoul finally managed to bring up some sort of conversation. "What do you plan to do after the midwinter balls end?"
The question hung in the air icily for several moments before Audrie answered lightly, "Go home, I suppose. To my fief."
"You won't be staying? Other ladies from the convent will be." "Yes, well, I have obligations."
Audrie thought of returning to the Dancing Doves, to working as a waitress and having so much more freedom. No more corsets, no more tiny shoes, no more stiff manners and dances. No more long strolls in the snow showing knights that women had intelligence as well, no more teaching boring court ladies to think for themselves. No more sneaking into rooms and playing malicious pranks. Well, maybe some of those still.
"Like what?"
"Well, I, um, that is..." It struck Audrie that noble women weren't supposed to have any obligations other than to marry and be a good wife and mother. And she wasn't planing any of those any time soon. "Well, my father died." She certainly pulled that out of thin air. "And I'll have to take care of the fief."
"Wasn't it burned down months ago?"
"Well, that is, my father died in the fire." That worked.
"No one died though."
"Of course, he died during the fire, not actually in it, that is. He, um, died of consumption in his room while everyone was escaping."
Raoul gave her a Look, but said nothing. A few moments passed.
"I suppose you'll have to marry then."
"What? When was that mentioned?"
"A noblewoman can't run a fief. You'll have to marry."
"I can run that fief perfectly fine, thank you very much. I don't need any nobleman to do it for me."
"But there's a law..." Audrie's icy-look-of-death forced Raoul into silence.
Silence predominated the walk from there on out, and as soon as they had come back to the palace doors Audrie insisted upon showing herself to her rooms without Raoul.
~ ~ ~ ~
As soon as Audrie returned to her rooms she found Sarri sitting expectantly, waiting for Audrie to burst into squeals of joy at being proposed to. Disappointment fell onto her face as she saw Audrie's grim expression.
"He didn't ask, m'lady?"
Audrie directed her icy-look-of-death towards Sarri. "I never expected him to."
Discomfort engulfed Sarri, but curiosity won over. "Why then, m'lady, are you so unhappy?"
The was an uncomfortable silence. "Nothing important to you."
Sarri merely nodded and, trembling, left the room.
~ ~ ~ ~
Audrie walked down the hall in something of a moody silence, ignoring Roger's attempts to walk her to the dining hall. As she neared her seating place, she spotted Raoul heading towards her.
"Lady Audrelinia..." Raoul began, but before Raoul could even begin to say anything Audrie had swept past him in an icy silence. He stared for a few moments and then sighed and went to his designated seat.
As soon as Audrie had sat down, she instantly wished she hadn't sat down at all. Across from her was the prince and several others that were seemingly important. On one side of her sat the king and queen of Tusaine, on the other side, their daughter. All thoughts of asking the daughter's age fled as she stood up and promptly left the hall.
Twenty minutes passed before Audrie's stomach decide to hijack her brain. 'I'm more important than you,' was its logic (AN: This often happens during tests of sorts, where, during the math final, you promptly answer everything with 'double cheeseburger and large fries', and so on). But her stomach insisted that it had as much honor, or at least vague dignity, as to refuse to return to the dining hall. 'Let's go to the kitchen' it insisted, 'besides, you get better food there. It's still warm and such.'
Returning to her room, Audrie changed her appearance to her thief outfit. She didn't bother to take the corset off though, assuming that she would be able to get it on by herself, and would barely have enough time to change back into a dress before the ball as it was.
Audrie used the secret passage to get into the kitchen, though in all of the chaos, she wondered if anyone would have noticed if she had just walked right in and ordered her food that way. Nimbly taking a bowl of soup from a passing squire, who didn't notice at all, Audrie slunk back into the shadows of the pantry to eat. Closing the door quietly, she laughed silently at how she had literally hidden herself in daylight, so obviously not trying to hide herself that she was hidden.
She had been eating the soup silently when she heard a slam against the pantry door and angry voices outside. One of them she recognized to be of the page she had trained while in Naren, Torran. He seemed to be the one slammed against the door.
"You think you're so great at knife fighting?" A voice hissed at Torran.
"I only think I'm better than you, not the best. That goes to my teacher." Audrie heard Torran reply calmly. A hint of pride at his comment about her was edged with slight annoyance at his freeness at referencing her.
"You were taught by a commoner." Sneered another voice, accenting the word 'commoner' as though it was something equivalent to 'slug'. "You won't have much ability then. Meet us out at the practice fields in twenty minutes and prove you're so great, oh Sir 'Taught by the Greatest Thief There Ever Lived'. Besides, I learned a few things from a thief, as well. Right proper thief he was, too. Not some silly 'Spades,' a real fighter."
"You just blackmailed him into it!" Torran's voice rose into the anger that Audrie had felt when Torran had first told her he had been taught to fight by a thief.
"'Course, no other way to get 'em to teach you. Only thief that'd agree to teach you any other way would have to be a pretty pathetic- or poor- thief." The voices faded off into the din of the kitchen, and Audrie heard Torran sigh in relief and leave.
Audrie was annoyed at the way the other boys had spoken about commoners, and her pride of having taught Torran all of what he knew about knife- fighting urged her to follow him. After waiting several minutes just to make sure he really had left, Audrie confidently walked out of the pantry and, except for a few odd looks from a page, who shook his head confusedly, walked out of the kitchen unnoticed.
Audrie silently walked out onto the grass of the practice fields, and noticed that the moonlight was all that the two pages had to fight by. 'That's a proper fight, not with spectators and a point system or anything. A fight you could use on the streets and everyday, without the perfect conditions they have at the indoor fighting courts. Dew-damp grass perfect to slip and break a wrist on, bad light to see by, it was much easier to get injured during a fight like this if you didn't watch both the opponent and your step.' She thought, and smiled, reminiscing on fights she'd had like this one.
She saw that there was in fact a total of four boys including Torran, and wondered whether he was being daft enough to actually try to take them all on at once. She had taught him everything he knew, but he didn't know all that much.
Standing in the shadow of a building, Audrie watched as Torran and one of the boys seperated themselves from the other two and set off with a proper 'One, two' and slashed at each other before the other could count to three. It was never right to actually start at three.
After a few minutes of watching, Audrie noticed that Torran wasn't doing as fabulously as he should have been. Walking over to stand next to the two boys that were watching she commented, in a casual tone, "Tsk, that blow must've hurt."
"Yeah." Replied one, not taking his eyes off the two fighters, "Leon likes to hit where it hurts." "And look at that," She said in a chastising tone, "The daft boy's playing by the rules. That's against the rules, that is."
The two boys merely nodded, apparently not having noticed that she was actually there.
"Yeah," Said the second one, "He's got this weird idea 'bout having honor and that business."
"Now, I know it wasn't ME who taught him that. I always told him that in a fight, honor isn't worth everything people says it is."
A moment passed before the comment was computed by the two boys' brains. Then, in unison, they looked to their fellow commentator.
"Wh-who're you?" The first one asked, his voice now somewhat weak.
"Who do you think I am?"
"You know Torran...?"
"Sure I know him. He's a great boy, though a bit airy at times. Least ways, back when I knew him better."
"Yah, real nice."
Though it was too dark to properly see her 'icy-look-of-death,' it was obvious she was giving it to them, by the tone of her voice. "Oh really? And here I was under the impression you disliked him."
"N-not particularly." It was the first boy, who Audrie know recognized to be the first voice to speak to Torran while she was in the pantry. "I mean, that is, 's not really us that hate 'im. J-just Leon."
"Leon, is it? I'm also under the impression he thinks I'm not a talented fighter. I'll have to speak to him about it."
Before the two boys could stop her, Audrie marched over to Torran and Leon, who were now wrestling, knives still in their hands. Looking down at them, she promptly kicked them both in very sensitive spots.
"Get up, brats." She nudged Torran with her boot, who was huddled on the ground in a fetal position in pain.
"You didn't have to kick that hard!" Torran retorted through gritted teeth.
"I'm devastated. Up. Now." She stopped nudging Torran to go over the Leon, and started nudging him a bit harder than Torran. Some might've called her nudged a stiff kicking, but Audrie always really considered it to be nudging. "I have a bone to pick with you."
The two boys struggled to their feet, both surprised to see Audrie appear at random, though Torran appeared less surprised than Leon.
"What're you doing here, Spades?" He grinned, and received a thin smile in return.
"Proving a point." Audrie briskly nodded towards Leon. "I believe you have something you shouldn't."
"I don't have anything right now. Except the knife, but if you think it's not good 'n' allowed to have a knife during a fight, you're wrong lady."
"No, knives are perfectly allowed. I'm partial to them myself. I was referring, rather, to you dignity. Simply shouldn't have any, if you ask me. But I'll lend you a favor, and go ahead and strip you of it. And if you have any left after that, we'll strip you and send you into the dining hall."
It suddenly dawned on Leon that he was speaking to the thief that Torran claimed to be his teacher. "You're a lady!"
"Never been a lady in my life, never plan to. I'm female, though, if that's what you're talking about."
"What's your deal about stripping me of my dignity? The fight's not over, wench."
Audrie sighed. "The fight's long over, but a new one's just beginning. She took Torran's knife and pointed it towards Leon in what she felt was vaguely over dramatic but seemed appropriate. "Only this time it's not with the student, but with the teacher."
"I'm not some fool. I don't need to fight a woman to know I'm better than her."
Audrie smiled maliciously and took a step towards him. "May I suggest, Little Boy, that if you're afraid of fighting, you not anger those with real talent. Of course, it's a bit late now." She lunged forward and cut a thin line across his neck, and without even the 'one, two' the fight was one.
Slashes flurried through the air as Leon dodged, lunged and block while Audrie grinned and attacked consistently, with an occasional movement to the side to avoid a knife. The slightly sadistic glint in her eye had stayed there from the minute the fight began, and it gave Leon the feeling that she knew something that he should, if he wanted to live much longer.
"You're too consistent in your attacks. Lunge, lunge, lunge, that's all you ever do." Audrie slashed across and ripped his shirt, barely missing ripping his flesh along with it. Then suddenly he grin and swooped under, and grabbed her by the shoulders. She was jerked violently so that they had traded places and he slammed her against the oak tree that she just realized to be there.
"I don't only lunge, lady." He grinned, and a certain silence fell over the area as she looked at him emotionlessly. "I was thinking that, since we're here, maybe I could just have some... fun."
He grinned and silently took her knife out of her hands. One hand pressing her against the tree, his other hand began to wander. Then he noticed that the glint, that evil glint, was still in her eye. In a flash of movement she ducked down, his palm smashing into the oak where she was a split second ago, and ran between his legs, making sure to elbow him in the groin as she went past.
Turning around, she saw Leon turn to face her, his face twisted in pain. "You hit below the belt!"
"No rule that you can't." She said conversationally, "Besides, who follows the rules? Either way, I have nothing below the belt for you to hit, so it doesn't make much of a difference to me."
Leon sneered, but it flashed into a grin as a thought struck him. "You don't have a knife. I still do."
Audrie sighed. "Having a knife isn't everything, you know." In a flash of speed and grace of a cat, she drew three knives from her boot and threw them with unerring aim at Leon, pinning him to the tree. "But they always help, don't they."
Walking up to him, she pulled a fourth knife from her sleeve and pressed it to his throat. The gleam had never left her eye, and the mask of emotionlessness chilled Leon to the bone.
"You know," Audrie said, her voice icy, "I've always noticed that men who get on my bad side never stay on my bad side for very long."
Leon leered. "You women always forgive easily."
"I was leaning more towards the idea that they don't live long enough to stay on my bad side."
Leon paled. "If I die, people will notice. You'll be suspected."
"People will notice, surely, And judging from your personality, rejoice at your death. I wouldn't be surprised if they held an extra ball, just to celebrate your death." Audrie sighed. "Of course, you already have enough of those, so why don't we just, say, let you off, for today?"
Leon grinned. "Course you will, lady."
"For a fine."
The grin fell. "I don't have anything you want."
"Course you don't, I've taken it all already. By the way," Audrie's voice was covered in honey as she brought up a ring that had been on his finger. "I do so love the make of this ring. Where did you buy it?"
"It was my mother's." Leon's Adams apple bobbed slightly. "She'd kill me if I lost it."
"I'll inform her that you dropped it down the drain."
"You don't know her, you don't even know my fief."
"No," Audrie grinned, "But I can find out. And that's not the worst I have planned for you."
~ ~ ~ ~
Audrie changed swiftly from her thief outfit to her court dress for the ball, which started in twenty minutes. Feeling vaguely refreshed at having gotten some proper exercise, She nearly bounced out of her room, sandy curls flopping.
"You can't do that!" Wailed a voice from behind her, "It's not fair!"
"Now when was fairness ever entertaining." She smiled evilly.
"That's cruel, that is." Leon protested.
"You have no say in the matter. I for one think that taking the blame for the prank with Roger is a far worse part of the punishment. "
"But telling my mother I need a good lecture on women?! You don't know her! She can talk for hours on that sort of thing!"
"Well then you'll simply have to listen. I'll be sure to ask her to make the speech particularly long. And if you don't come back having proper respect for women - and I'll be sure to check- you'll be in sore trouble. I have far worse, more physical punishments for people who don't do as I say.
~ ~ ~ ~
Audrie entered the usual humdrum of the ball and trailed over to the usual group of knights, including Gary, Raoul, Alex, Squire Alan and, after some time, the prince. She nodded and smiled, to each of them, praying they would accept that instead of a curtsey. They seemed to understand her loathing of curtseys and didn't comment.
Raoul gave her an odd look, not understanding what had caused the sudden change from cold to cheerful. Audrie pretended not to notice.
"My lady," Jonathan walked over to her with a concerned look, " We were worried when you did not dine with us."
'That's the trouble with royalty' thought Audrie, 'You never knew when 'we' referred to just them or an actual group. Despite this thought, Audrie replied calmly, "I was not feeling at all well, your highness. I ate soup in my rooms."
"You were sick?" A voice that sent chills down Audrie's back popped up behind her. "I hope you are feeling better now, for I would ask this dance of you."
"Already taken, sorry." Audrie gripped Raoul by the arm and dragged him off to the dance floor.
~ ~ ~ ~
Returning from the ball, Audrie dumped her stash in the closet with the rest. Switching back into her thief outfit, she set out for the night, reminding herself to skip Raoul's rooms. She didn't feel like nearly killing herself jumping off towers again.
~ ~ ~ ~
Author's notes: There's always more of 'em. You know, each chapter gets longer than the one before... Actually, the word count is about the same (4,500?!), but oh well. By the by, seven reviews till the 150th reviewer (I feel so loved!). And that person gets to pick the pairing. Just hope that whoever it is shares pairing preferences with you. Also, if I get enough requests I'll write Alternate Endings and such. And perhaps (if I'm feeling benevolent at the end of this) I'll write a continuation. Or maybe not. I hear unintended continuations never work out. Plus, I'll have run out of decent disclaimers. And you know how terrible THAT would be.