Disclaimer: If I had anything to own, no doubt I'd be taxed for it and have
50% of it taken away anyway, so why bother owning anything? (I'm currently
very bitter about taxes)
Author's Notes: SOB!! Only nine reviews?! Okay, maybe I was getting a bit spoiled, but after twelve and the fourteen reviews, I was expecting a bit more of a turnout. PLUS I said to be really nice in these reviews ('specially since it's the last couple chapters) but everybody was really mean! I was threatened with horrible punishments including severe bodily injury and no more reviews! That's author abuse, that is! Also, treanz- alyce picked and chose Audrie/Raoul, so I think it's wrong that fortunecookie will from here on out refuse to review because I had no choice in the matter. She can't blame me and stop reviewing. Actually I'm feeling particularly cocky right now because the entire reason why I created the contest was NOT, as most think no doubt, to attract more reviewers but actually to have it that they couldn't get angry at me for not giving them the pairing they wanted. And no pouting in the next reviews because, frankly, I don't care. Of course, any propositions of alternate endings will be considered. MWAHAHA!!
~ ~ ~ ~
Audrie awoke to realize that she hadn't changed back into her court appearance. Cursing, she switched her hair back to its usual appearance as fast as possible, in the hope that no one would decide to walk in on her at this moment.
Sitting in front of the mirror, Audrie spotted Sarri's reflection flitting about the room, taking things out of their usual places."What are you doing?" She snapped.
"Just collecting things. Today's your last day after all."
"Oh, yes, of course. I'd forgotten." Audrie fitted her hair into a loose bun and turned around to see Jered standing behind her.
"Tsk, your hair looks as though a bird nested in it." At Audrie's look he paused. "I take it back, it doesn't look as though a bird nested." Audrie's look softened, "It looks like a flamingo nested in it." Audrie hoped his face didn't survive the meeting with her brush.
"Just get to work."
Jered grinned and pulled Audrie up into his arms. "Today isn't just a day for work, miss Never-takes-a-break."
"I take plenty of days off." Audrie glared, "Why, I took one just..." A look of realization crossed Audrie's face. "Uh, nearly two weeks ago, I guess."
"See?" Jered dumped Audrie on the bed and sat down next to her. "You need to rest. Just let Sarri and me take care of this."
"Like a rat's ass I'll do that." Audrie got up and started collecting things about the room. "I'm not some noble who'll order people to do their bidding and just watch while the work is done."
Jered walked into the closet and, much to Audrie's annoyance, revealed a quite convenient passageway that was just a small doorway. "It leads into a tunnel that goes into the woods. It'll work wonderfully for transporting everything."
"You mean," Audrie's eye tick appeared once more, "That I've been cramming myself into that little passageway for THREE WEEKS and there was one in the closet?"
Several moments passed because Jered couldn't speak due to Audrie shaking him violently. "You mean you didn't know about it?" He asked innocently.
"You knew I didn't know about it, you little..." A nasty glare silenced Jered's reply.
"Well, let's at least get to work on emptying this room of everything of any value." Jered took a sack he had brought and started taking the sheets off the bed. Apparently he really had meant 'anything of value'. "Did you look at the dress I gave you?"
"Ah..." Audrie had forgotten about it entirely, "Haven't gotten to it yet. I've been so busy."
"Oh." Jered's voice fell slightly. "Well, you can look at it right now then, if you want."
"Uh, sure." Audrie took the folded black cloth off the desk, where it had been laid, forgotten.
"You can even try it on right now."
This received a nasty look from Audrie. "Fat chance, I know what you mean by that."
"Never hurts to ask, does it?"
"It can, Jered, if it's me you're asking." Audrie unfolded the dress and a slightly evil smile spread on her face. "Well, this will help get my point across tonight."
~ ~ ~ ~
Audrie ate breakfast and lunch in her room and refused to leave her rooms with the excuse of 'It's the last night of the ball and you expect me to go outside with only nine hours of preparation?!' This received understanding nods from most.
At last, at dinner, Audrie left her rooms. She entered the dining hall in the soft silk dress, knowing in a very comforting way that there was no trace of her left in her rooms, especially since there was absolutely nothing left in there. They had disassembled the furniture.
Audrie found herself sitting next to several knights and ladies, along with a particularly weedy little man who looked as though he hadn't had a bath in months yet had the air of confidence that most romantic adventurers had.
"I don't believe I've had the honor of meeting you, sir...?" Audrie looked inquiringly towards the little man, trying to convince herself she had seen worse in the dark corners of the Dancing Dove.
"Not a sir," Replied the man, "Oh dear me, no. I'm the seating arranger. Wilikins."
Audrie restrained her hands from strangling him, as she imagined that the nobles wouldn't be thrilled if she killed their seating arranger. "It's a pleasure to meet you. I don't suppose," Audrie smiled with a sick sweetness, "I could meet you after the ball tonight? It's a matter of utmost importance."
"Such that you can't speak of it here?" A dawn of enlightenment stumbled onto the man's face. "Of course, of course. I understand perfectly." He smiled an oily smile. Everything about him seemed oily.
Audrie what sort of enlightenment had come upon Wilikins, but decided not to ask, for fear that it would be something that would be the contents of his dreams and her worst nightmares. She was tempted to cancel the appointment at that very instant, but the fact that they were serving ginger with the dinner was too tempting.
Dinner was definitely not one of Audrie's favorites. Wilikins continued to be convinced that Audrie was actually interested in him and spoke to her constantly about himself throughout the entire dinner, though Audrie only replied with a noncommital "Hmm..." . At last dinner ended as Audrie remembered that she wouldn't be at the palace after dinner no matter what so she had endured dinner for absolutely no reason. Before she could cancel her talk with Wilikins he had dashed off with an oily wink to her. A chill ran down her spine.
~ ~ ~ ~
Audrie entered the ballroom to find her usual group of friends looking for someone. Only Raoul, Alan and Jonathon seemed uninterested, though the latter two were more interested in each other, in a rather discreet way. Audrie couldn't help but grin at the sight of the two.
"Why's everyone so distracted today?" Audrie smiled at Gary who was looking searchingly at the dance floor.
"Looking for Lady Odette." Gary mumbled. Audrie could've kicked him in a very sensitive spot for that.
"She's gone, didn't you know?" Audrie snapped. "Left last night. She was only here for one night." 'Obviously they like Odette better than me. It stands to reason.' At that thought Audrie deflated slightly. Perhaps her friendship with them was only politeness and they really did prefer polite court ladies to her.
"You weren't here last night, how would you know?" Gary continued to stare off.
"Met her in the halls." Audrie replied coldly.
"In fact, no one saw you last night. That's a thin lie, if I may say so, my lady."
Audrie barely kept herself from kneeing him in the groin. "What does it matter to you how I spoke to her?"
"You're not a very good liar, my lady."
"As if you would know!" Audrie exploded, "You don't know anything about me!" She was nearly shouting. "I'm such a damn good liar you don't know a single thing that's the truth about me!"
There was an uncomfortable silence as these words settled on the group.
"We've known you for three weeks," The prince rested a hand on her shoulder, "What haven't you told us?"
"Nothing that is any of your business!" Audrie snapped and stormed off.
No one had noticed Raoul simply staring at Audrie the entire time.
~ ~ ~ ~
Audrie was staring icily out onto the dance floor from a shady corner when Ballin walked up to her.
"Is my lady in need of a refreshment?" Ballin extended a wine glass to her.
"If you don't leave right now, Ballin, I'll find the most horrible punishment I can think up and try it out on you."
Ballin simply rested against a pillar and smiled, sipping out of the wine glass. "You know, we've really missed you. No," Ballin stopped Audrie from even saying anything, "I know you get angry. I know you, Audrie. But anyone who can't accept that doesn't deserve you. Remember that, please?" Ballin leaned over and kissed a bewildered Audrie on the cheek and left silently.
Audrie sighed and glared in Ballin's general direction.' As if things couldn't get more chaotic,' She thought darkly, 'You had to pop up too.'
In her angry thoughts, Audrie barely noticed that Raoul was heading towards her. It wasn't until he spoke that she jumped up in surprise of seeing him.
"Lady Audrelinia...? Are you alright?"
"What do you think?" Audrie replied bitterly.
"I'm.... not sure." Raoul shrugged an added in a light tone, "Maybe we really don't know anything about you. Every time we ask you something you give us a reply like that, where we use our assumptions to fill in the answer. But that's using knowledge about court ladies, but you're not like most court ladies. So our answers might be wrong."
"Well, fine, I'm not alright." Audrie knew his comment about her replies being ambiguous was true.
"So why aren't you alright?"
Audrie nearly bit her tongue to keep from replying 'Why do you think?' and instead said, "I come up to greet everyone after being sick last night and not seeing them all day and all everyone can think of is Lady Odette. Obviously everyone prefers her proper lady-like personality to me, so why should I tolerate such treatment and be accused of lying and being a bad liar at that?"
There was a long silence as Raoul considered this. "Everyone missed you yesterday."
"Oh right, I'm sure they did." Audrie glared icily at him, "No one even bothered to mention my absence. Sure everyone missed me."
"How would you know whether we mentioned you or not?"
"I have connections."
Audrie expected Raoul to look surprised, but he instead nodded understandingly. "That servant? The one you spoke to about your supposed wine? Or what were you actually talking about?"
"Do you really expect me to tell y-" Audrie cut herself off and tried to give a defined answer, "I don't really think that's any of your business."
"I think it is."
Audrie turned slightly red. "It wasn't anything important. Really."
"He came by several times last night as well. Seemed very interested in Lady Odette. On your orders?"
"I never asked him to follow me around." Audrie snapped bitterly.
"He wasn't following you around. That we know of, that is. Interesting that the one night you weren't at the balls she was."
"Obviously you don't know much about coincidences." Audrie replied stiffly.
"Oh, I do. A thief once told me about them." The comment was almost conversational, yet Audrie understood the underlying reference.
"When did you associate with thieves?"
"I 'associate,' as you call it, quite often with thieves. I know the king of thieves quite well."
"How interesting." Audrie stared off into the distance dryly in the hope that this would cut the conversation off and Raoul would leave.
"Did you know," Raoul did indeed trail off the former subject, "that the very first thing Gary said tonight was, 'I hope Lady Audrelinia comes to the ball tonight, because last night was far less fun without her,'?"
"Is that so?" Audrie's voice remained emotionless, but she felt slightly better about it.
"And everyone agreed with him, that without you, balls are far more boring."
"So glad to see I'm a source of entertainment." Audrie crossed her arms over the silk black dress.
"Would you at least say something?!" Raoul finally snapped in desperation.
"Am I just supposed to say, 'Oh it all makes sense now! Thank you for explaining everything, I'm not angry any more.'? Is that it?"
A brief silence greeted this and then finally, "It would be nice."
"Well..." Audrie stumbled a little bit.
"But I'm guessing you don't really sit well with that?"
"Not really. But it's a little bit like that. I suppose."
Raoul smiled and held out an inviting hand. "Care to dance?"
"Why not." Audrie smiled and took his hand.
~ ~ ~ ~
Once the dance Audrie walked over to the group with Raoul. While dancing she had noticed that he was carrying a ring in his pocket. Despite, curiosity compelled her to take it. She wondered who had given it to him or worse, who he was planning to give it to.
Giving a weak smile Audrie curtseyed to everyone and said, "I have an apology to make. I needn't have been so rude earlier this evening."
"It's alright." Gary looked away uncomfortably and gave Raoul an incredulous look. After a brief silence he looked back to her and asked, "Do we really know nothing about you? Have you kept that many secrets from us?"
Audrie smiled and everyone expected her to say 'Of course not,' but instead she replied, "More than you could ever guess."
And suddenly the music changed and Audrie grinned devilishly.
Suddenly, lifting up her skirts, Audrie revealed a pair of black, heavy combat boots. Raoul was suddenly very grateful she hadn't stepped on his feet. Also beneath the dress was a pair of black breeches, and for the first time Raoul really took in the dress.
It was a soft silk black, and the skirt had a shorter skirt of draped fabric around the hips. There was a pattern of white glass- not diamonds- on the chest. At that moment Raoul realized the pattern was that of a spade. At this Raoul's stomach sank.
Audrie suddenly began something of a jig, much to everyone's amazement. Everyone stopped dancing and turned to stare at her. She danced over to the king, sitting, her boots pounding against the marble the only sound in the entire hall.
Audrie was laughing as everyone stared in amazement. No one had noticed the interesting change in musicians, and now she had them captivated with her talents with the dancing that she usually did at the dancing dove at a party.
Upon standing next to the king, Audrie's music stopped, and she lifted her foot to rest on the armchair of the king's extremely fine chair. Leaning forward, she grinned maliciously.
"I've never liked royalty." This got an extremely surprised look from the prince. "You're no exception."
Audrie suddenly started unclipping her hair attachments and let them fall to the ground, her hair and eyes quickly changing to their natural colors. She also, in fact, took off the skirt part of her dress, leaving only the cloth draping on her hips, and the rest of her dress was a beautiful silk shirt that proclaimed her identity. She was back in her proper clothes, though much finer than her usual shirt, a shirt and breeches felt much more natural than any dress.
Everyone gasped, not just at the fact she was wearing breeches in court, but because she as a lady had just transformed into someone else entirely.
"I just love a cooperative audience, don't you, your majesty?" Audrie grinned and nudged him in the shoulder with her boot lightly.
"I suppose," Audrie said casually, "You're wondering what the hell I'm doing here. In less vulgare terms of course, since you are, naturally, Nobles. You don't think in those terms do you?"
"I would, indeed, like to know who you are," The king replied dryly, "Although either way you'll be going to the dungeons."
"I just love the way you people think," Audrie replied, smiling, "I'm not going to the dungeons anytime soon. You've got to remember that I've been under your nose for three weeks. Another twenty minutes isn't going to hurt."
"I'm the Ace of Spades, a lowly little thief who's been taking your things without your noticing for the past three weeks- quite at my convenience as well. Oh and by the way, you majesty, I never thought that anyone would need quite such fluffy towels for their baths. A tad bit excessive, don't you think? And did you even notice the missing paintings? Those were worth quite a good bit."
The look on the king's face contented Audrie very much.
"Look, you lot! I've been here for three weeks! I've taken loincloths, I've added in notes to your poems-" (Gary blushed slightly) "- I've stolen have of the jewelry on your persons and you've barely noticed! What does that say about how rich you are? It's disgusting, it is!"
An eerie silence fell upon everyone. Suddenly someone piped up and said, "You're not from Seren, are you?"
"You don't think I'm the daughter of the lord of Seren? I'm wounded that you would doubt my authenticity!" Audrie faked a hurt look and there was a breath of relief from the crowd. "Goddess, you people are morons. Thank goodness I didn't turn out like you." Audrie suddenly turned to the king and queen of Tusaine and waved towards them. "Of course, I could've, if I had stayed at home. Being the Princess of Tusaine can be a pain if you're a bandit though. If I'd stayed with mother and father I would've been just like the rest of you. But I ran away- stole all of the goods in the house too- and I find out that they're claiming I'm dead. So much for caring parents." The stricken look of her younger sister nearly made her smile. "My little sister didn't turn out incredibly bad despite everything, though."
Audrie suddenly spotted a group of burly looking men enter the door. "You know, I had a full fledged dramatic speech planned out for you, but you obviously just won't let me have my fun. I put up with you people for three weeks and you don't even let me have my speech."
Audrie walked out to the center of the dance floor, and everyone seemed to be more than willing to give her a twenty foot radius of frees space. Taking out a deck of cards from a pocket, Audrie smiled sweetly, and Raoul caught a hint of Odette in the smile. "But at least I can have my dramatic exit."
Before the guards had even reached the edge of the people around her, Audrie suddenly flourished the deck into a fountain of cards that obscured her from view. When they had all fallen, she was gone. The Author happens to be a fan of dramatic exits, so sue her.
Raoul simply stared at where Audrie had just been. It occurred to him that while he had suspected Audrie of knowing more about Spades than she would admit, he had never actually thought that she was the thief. A wave of surprise washed over him and he leaned onto a pillar for support.
There was a mass herding of nobles out of the ballroom, as they all went back to their rooms to make sure that nothing had been stolen from them. Of course, they all knew nothing had been stolen from them because they hadn't noticed anything gone. Things such as that simply only happened to other nobles, not them.
Despite the flow of salmon-nobles downstream/ out of the ballroom, Raoul and the others stayed behind. Surprisingly, Lady Selia was there as well. They all eyed each other nervously in silence as they slowly gravitated to the scattered cards in the center of the ballroom. The silence became overpower until Selia finally broke out.
"She seemed nice enough to me. She..." Selia faltered but carried on, "Helped me a lot. Very nice, though rather blunt at times."
"She wasn't the type to beat around the bush about things." Gary nodded contemplatively. "I guess that's what she meant about being such a great liar.
Raoul suddenly noticed that a single card had writing on it. Picking it up from the ground, he realized that there was a ring right next to it. A ring, in fact, that had been in his pocket twenty minutes ago. On the card it said, 'I don't know who you plan to give this to, Raoul, but good luck'. Raoul sighed and pocketed the ring.
They all shared a few anecdotes about 'Lady Audrelinia' when Raoul decided to recount his few encounters with the Ace of Spades. Afterwards, an awkward silence took over the room. Finally the group dispersed to their rooms in a vaguely gloomy silence.
~ ~ ~ ~
Audrie had just tossed her cards out when she slammed her foot down to open the hidden passage in the floor that gave way with the right pressure. No one, she was confident, would find it. Swiftly clicking the door back into its proper place, Audrie looked down the dark passageway and shivered. Luckily, however, she had planned for a cozy little tunnel like this and brought a torch and a match (AN: I don't particularly care whether they had matches back then, I forgot the name of the two stones you click together to light a fire) and struck the match against her boot. The tiny light danced alone in the cold darkness of the passage way that was beneath the castle. Setting the match to the torch, the tiny flame spread into a warm light that lit the passage for a radius of ten feet around her
Walking down the hallway silently, Audrie passed several doors that led to rooms that hadn't been used for hundreds of years. Originally this passage way had been used to evacuate the castle into the woods if it was under siege, so the passageway was wide as to allow many people to walk at once, rather than try to fit a camel through the eye of a needle. But the castle hadn't been under siege in the years of peace, and the passage had long been forgotten.
Audrie was walking calmly down the halls when she heard a din coming from one of the doors. "Should we warn them about..." "Are you stupid? Our entire point is to steal from them and you want us to go warn them?!"
Creaking the door open, Audrie saw a large group of men standing around. A few of them were smoking some sort of thing, and others were playing cards. "Warn who of what?" Audrie arched an eyebrow expectantly.
The gasp of surprise was soon followed by warm greetings: "Spades!", "What're you doing in here? It's been so long!" and "How much is that shirt worth?"
"You didn't answer the question."
"Well, come on," Ballin grinned from a corner, "They've just seen you after so many years and you expect them not to say anything? I told you we've missed you."
"Okay, nice to see everyone. Joy, joy and all that lot." Audrie stared at them.
"You're no fun, Spades. Come join us in cards. If you beat me we'll tell you what's what."
"How about you just tell me what's what." Audrie brandished a knife from her boot. There was an astonished silence.
"Stop joking, Spades. Put the knife away. We're family. Besides, there's thirty of us here, and only one of you. Opposition like that isn't friendly." A middle-aged man spoke up, but grinned.
"Opposition like that!" Audrie glared at them, outraged, "Here you are, plunging in and trying to take over a castle that has hundreds of able bodied fighters! And you talk about thirty to one! Taking down a castle like this takes an army, not thirty half-starved thieves."
The silence changed from astonished to slightly annoyed.
"You listen here, girl." An old man stood up from the corner, "You may pretend to be strong, but we have a girl who could beat you any day. I'll go call over to Spades and she'll teach you ta mind yer mouth."
There was a light cough. "He's, um, lost a bit of his memory." Another cough.
"I don't have time for this."
Ballin suddenly glared at Audrie. "So, now that you're Miss I've-Stolen- From-Tortall's-Finest-Lords-and-Ladies, you don't want to associate with us half-starved thieves, hm? Not that a I can blame you. Although, it's interesting that we were half-starved when you joined us and we were half- starved most of the time you knew us. Sure," He stormed up to Audrie, "Go ahead and just estrange us all! Never mind that that old man right there taught you your best slight of hand tricks! That the man you threatened with a knife was the one who taught you how to properly cheat at cards! Feel free to just ignore us! I guess we never mattered to you anyway."
Audrie stared emotionlessly at Ballin. "If you had one ounce of sense you'd realize that by asking these men - the ones that taught me everything I know, as you said- to go into the palace you're giving them their death wish. And I don't want them to die, simply because they matter so much to me. But if they want to listen to you, then fine. It's not my choice anyway. But you ought to at least explain what you meant by warning someone."
"Remember when you said it'd take an army to storm this castle?" A little boy that Audrie didn't recognize spoke up and Audrie nodded to his question. "Well, there is one. Right up in the hall. We've been here for a while so we saw them come in. They've been here for a while now. We heard 'em talking about their plans. We were wonderin' if we should tell the nobles."
"Well then." A cold feeling washed over Audrie. "Well."
A silence pursued as they all looked to Audrie to answer their predicament.
"What're you waiting for? The army'll destroy or take anything that would be of value to you. Let's go." With that, Audrie headed out of the room back in the direction she had originally been coming from. How this would all work out without her being hung she had no idea.
~ ~ ~ ~
Author's Notes: Hunh. Well, guess what? Two more chapters left (or one, depending upon how long I can drag the climax out to be. I've never been very good at that). So yep, the pairing is Audrie/Raoul, but I wouldn't say no to an alternate ending. See you next Saturday (don't you just hate me?) Any mean reviewers will receive emails from me flaming them and on the last chapter I'll be announcing specific thank-yous to favorite reviewers and such. You can think of it as reviewing the reviewer.
Author's Notes: SOB!! Only nine reviews?! Okay, maybe I was getting a bit spoiled, but after twelve and the fourteen reviews, I was expecting a bit more of a turnout. PLUS I said to be really nice in these reviews ('specially since it's the last couple chapters) but everybody was really mean! I was threatened with horrible punishments including severe bodily injury and no more reviews! That's author abuse, that is! Also, treanz- alyce picked and chose Audrie/Raoul, so I think it's wrong that fortunecookie will from here on out refuse to review because I had no choice in the matter. She can't blame me and stop reviewing. Actually I'm feeling particularly cocky right now because the entire reason why I created the contest was NOT, as most think no doubt, to attract more reviewers but actually to have it that they couldn't get angry at me for not giving them the pairing they wanted. And no pouting in the next reviews because, frankly, I don't care. Of course, any propositions of alternate endings will be considered. MWAHAHA!!
~ ~ ~ ~
Audrie awoke to realize that she hadn't changed back into her court appearance. Cursing, she switched her hair back to its usual appearance as fast as possible, in the hope that no one would decide to walk in on her at this moment.
Sitting in front of the mirror, Audrie spotted Sarri's reflection flitting about the room, taking things out of their usual places."What are you doing?" She snapped.
"Just collecting things. Today's your last day after all."
"Oh, yes, of course. I'd forgotten." Audrie fitted her hair into a loose bun and turned around to see Jered standing behind her.
"Tsk, your hair looks as though a bird nested in it." At Audrie's look he paused. "I take it back, it doesn't look as though a bird nested." Audrie's look softened, "It looks like a flamingo nested in it." Audrie hoped his face didn't survive the meeting with her brush.
"Just get to work."
Jered grinned and pulled Audrie up into his arms. "Today isn't just a day for work, miss Never-takes-a-break."
"I take plenty of days off." Audrie glared, "Why, I took one just..." A look of realization crossed Audrie's face. "Uh, nearly two weeks ago, I guess."
"See?" Jered dumped Audrie on the bed and sat down next to her. "You need to rest. Just let Sarri and me take care of this."
"Like a rat's ass I'll do that." Audrie got up and started collecting things about the room. "I'm not some noble who'll order people to do their bidding and just watch while the work is done."
Jered walked into the closet and, much to Audrie's annoyance, revealed a quite convenient passageway that was just a small doorway. "It leads into a tunnel that goes into the woods. It'll work wonderfully for transporting everything."
"You mean," Audrie's eye tick appeared once more, "That I've been cramming myself into that little passageway for THREE WEEKS and there was one in the closet?"
Several moments passed because Jered couldn't speak due to Audrie shaking him violently. "You mean you didn't know about it?" He asked innocently.
"You knew I didn't know about it, you little..." A nasty glare silenced Jered's reply.
"Well, let's at least get to work on emptying this room of everything of any value." Jered took a sack he had brought and started taking the sheets off the bed. Apparently he really had meant 'anything of value'. "Did you look at the dress I gave you?"
"Ah..." Audrie had forgotten about it entirely, "Haven't gotten to it yet. I've been so busy."
"Oh." Jered's voice fell slightly. "Well, you can look at it right now then, if you want."
"Uh, sure." Audrie took the folded black cloth off the desk, where it had been laid, forgotten.
"You can even try it on right now."
This received a nasty look from Audrie. "Fat chance, I know what you mean by that."
"Never hurts to ask, does it?"
"It can, Jered, if it's me you're asking." Audrie unfolded the dress and a slightly evil smile spread on her face. "Well, this will help get my point across tonight."
~ ~ ~ ~
Audrie ate breakfast and lunch in her room and refused to leave her rooms with the excuse of 'It's the last night of the ball and you expect me to go outside with only nine hours of preparation?!' This received understanding nods from most.
At last, at dinner, Audrie left her rooms. She entered the dining hall in the soft silk dress, knowing in a very comforting way that there was no trace of her left in her rooms, especially since there was absolutely nothing left in there. They had disassembled the furniture.
Audrie found herself sitting next to several knights and ladies, along with a particularly weedy little man who looked as though he hadn't had a bath in months yet had the air of confidence that most romantic adventurers had.
"I don't believe I've had the honor of meeting you, sir...?" Audrie looked inquiringly towards the little man, trying to convince herself she had seen worse in the dark corners of the Dancing Dove.
"Not a sir," Replied the man, "Oh dear me, no. I'm the seating arranger. Wilikins."
Audrie restrained her hands from strangling him, as she imagined that the nobles wouldn't be thrilled if she killed their seating arranger. "It's a pleasure to meet you. I don't suppose," Audrie smiled with a sick sweetness, "I could meet you after the ball tonight? It's a matter of utmost importance."
"Such that you can't speak of it here?" A dawn of enlightenment stumbled onto the man's face. "Of course, of course. I understand perfectly." He smiled an oily smile. Everything about him seemed oily.
Audrie what sort of enlightenment had come upon Wilikins, but decided not to ask, for fear that it would be something that would be the contents of his dreams and her worst nightmares. She was tempted to cancel the appointment at that very instant, but the fact that they were serving ginger with the dinner was too tempting.
Dinner was definitely not one of Audrie's favorites. Wilikins continued to be convinced that Audrie was actually interested in him and spoke to her constantly about himself throughout the entire dinner, though Audrie only replied with a noncommital "Hmm..." . At last dinner ended as Audrie remembered that she wouldn't be at the palace after dinner no matter what so she had endured dinner for absolutely no reason. Before she could cancel her talk with Wilikins he had dashed off with an oily wink to her. A chill ran down her spine.
~ ~ ~ ~
Audrie entered the ballroom to find her usual group of friends looking for someone. Only Raoul, Alan and Jonathon seemed uninterested, though the latter two were more interested in each other, in a rather discreet way. Audrie couldn't help but grin at the sight of the two.
"Why's everyone so distracted today?" Audrie smiled at Gary who was looking searchingly at the dance floor.
"Looking for Lady Odette." Gary mumbled. Audrie could've kicked him in a very sensitive spot for that.
"She's gone, didn't you know?" Audrie snapped. "Left last night. She was only here for one night." 'Obviously they like Odette better than me. It stands to reason.' At that thought Audrie deflated slightly. Perhaps her friendship with them was only politeness and they really did prefer polite court ladies to her.
"You weren't here last night, how would you know?" Gary continued to stare off.
"Met her in the halls." Audrie replied coldly.
"In fact, no one saw you last night. That's a thin lie, if I may say so, my lady."
Audrie barely kept herself from kneeing him in the groin. "What does it matter to you how I spoke to her?"
"You're not a very good liar, my lady."
"As if you would know!" Audrie exploded, "You don't know anything about me!" She was nearly shouting. "I'm such a damn good liar you don't know a single thing that's the truth about me!"
There was an uncomfortable silence as these words settled on the group.
"We've known you for three weeks," The prince rested a hand on her shoulder, "What haven't you told us?"
"Nothing that is any of your business!" Audrie snapped and stormed off.
No one had noticed Raoul simply staring at Audrie the entire time.
~ ~ ~ ~
Audrie was staring icily out onto the dance floor from a shady corner when Ballin walked up to her.
"Is my lady in need of a refreshment?" Ballin extended a wine glass to her.
"If you don't leave right now, Ballin, I'll find the most horrible punishment I can think up and try it out on you."
Ballin simply rested against a pillar and smiled, sipping out of the wine glass. "You know, we've really missed you. No," Ballin stopped Audrie from even saying anything, "I know you get angry. I know you, Audrie. But anyone who can't accept that doesn't deserve you. Remember that, please?" Ballin leaned over and kissed a bewildered Audrie on the cheek and left silently.
Audrie sighed and glared in Ballin's general direction.' As if things couldn't get more chaotic,' She thought darkly, 'You had to pop up too.'
In her angry thoughts, Audrie barely noticed that Raoul was heading towards her. It wasn't until he spoke that she jumped up in surprise of seeing him.
"Lady Audrelinia...? Are you alright?"
"What do you think?" Audrie replied bitterly.
"I'm.... not sure." Raoul shrugged an added in a light tone, "Maybe we really don't know anything about you. Every time we ask you something you give us a reply like that, where we use our assumptions to fill in the answer. But that's using knowledge about court ladies, but you're not like most court ladies. So our answers might be wrong."
"Well, fine, I'm not alright." Audrie knew his comment about her replies being ambiguous was true.
"So why aren't you alright?"
Audrie nearly bit her tongue to keep from replying 'Why do you think?' and instead said, "I come up to greet everyone after being sick last night and not seeing them all day and all everyone can think of is Lady Odette. Obviously everyone prefers her proper lady-like personality to me, so why should I tolerate such treatment and be accused of lying and being a bad liar at that?"
There was a long silence as Raoul considered this. "Everyone missed you yesterday."
"Oh right, I'm sure they did." Audrie glared icily at him, "No one even bothered to mention my absence. Sure everyone missed me."
"How would you know whether we mentioned you or not?"
"I have connections."
Audrie expected Raoul to look surprised, but he instead nodded understandingly. "That servant? The one you spoke to about your supposed wine? Or what were you actually talking about?"
"Do you really expect me to tell y-" Audrie cut herself off and tried to give a defined answer, "I don't really think that's any of your business."
"I think it is."
Audrie turned slightly red. "It wasn't anything important. Really."
"He came by several times last night as well. Seemed very interested in Lady Odette. On your orders?"
"I never asked him to follow me around." Audrie snapped bitterly.
"He wasn't following you around. That we know of, that is. Interesting that the one night you weren't at the balls she was."
"Obviously you don't know much about coincidences." Audrie replied stiffly.
"Oh, I do. A thief once told me about them." The comment was almost conversational, yet Audrie understood the underlying reference.
"When did you associate with thieves?"
"I 'associate,' as you call it, quite often with thieves. I know the king of thieves quite well."
"How interesting." Audrie stared off into the distance dryly in the hope that this would cut the conversation off and Raoul would leave.
"Did you know," Raoul did indeed trail off the former subject, "that the very first thing Gary said tonight was, 'I hope Lady Audrelinia comes to the ball tonight, because last night was far less fun without her,'?"
"Is that so?" Audrie's voice remained emotionless, but she felt slightly better about it.
"And everyone agreed with him, that without you, balls are far more boring."
"So glad to see I'm a source of entertainment." Audrie crossed her arms over the silk black dress.
"Would you at least say something?!" Raoul finally snapped in desperation.
"Am I just supposed to say, 'Oh it all makes sense now! Thank you for explaining everything, I'm not angry any more.'? Is that it?"
A brief silence greeted this and then finally, "It would be nice."
"Well..." Audrie stumbled a little bit.
"But I'm guessing you don't really sit well with that?"
"Not really. But it's a little bit like that. I suppose."
Raoul smiled and held out an inviting hand. "Care to dance?"
"Why not." Audrie smiled and took his hand.
~ ~ ~ ~
Once the dance Audrie walked over to the group with Raoul. While dancing she had noticed that he was carrying a ring in his pocket. Despite, curiosity compelled her to take it. She wondered who had given it to him or worse, who he was planning to give it to.
Giving a weak smile Audrie curtseyed to everyone and said, "I have an apology to make. I needn't have been so rude earlier this evening."
"It's alright." Gary looked away uncomfortably and gave Raoul an incredulous look. After a brief silence he looked back to her and asked, "Do we really know nothing about you? Have you kept that many secrets from us?"
Audrie smiled and everyone expected her to say 'Of course not,' but instead she replied, "More than you could ever guess."
And suddenly the music changed and Audrie grinned devilishly.
Suddenly, lifting up her skirts, Audrie revealed a pair of black, heavy combat boots. Raoul was suddenly very grateful she hadn't stepped on his feet. Also beneath the dress was a pair of black breeches, and for the first time Raoul really took in the dress.
It was a soft silk black, and the skirt had a shorter skirt of draped fabric around the hips. There was a pattern of white glass- not diamonds- on the chest. At that moment Raoul realized the pattern was that of a spade. At this Raoul's stomach sank.
Audrie suddenly began something of a jig, much to everyone's amazement. Everyone stopped dancing and turned to stare at her. She danced over to the king, sitting, her boots pounding against the marble the only sound in the entire hall.
Audrie was laughing as everyone stared in amazement. No one had noticed the interesting change in musicians, and now she had them captivated with her talents with the dancing that she usually did at the dancing dove at a party.
Upon standing next to the king, Audrie's music stopped, and she lifted her foot to rest on the armchair of the king's extremely fine chair. Leaning forward, she grinned maliciously.
"I've never liked royalty." This got an extremely surprised look from the prince. "You're no exception."
Audrie suddenly started unclipping her hair attachments and let them fall to the ground, her hair and eyes quickly changing to their natural colors. She also, in fact, took off the skirt part of her dress, leaving only the cloth draping on her hips, and the rest of her dress was a beautiful silk shirt that proclaimed her identity. She was back in her proper clothes, though much finer than her usual shirt, a shirt and breeches felt much more natural than any dress.
Everyone gasped, not just at the fact she was wearing breeches in court, but because she as a lady had just transformed into someone else entirely.
"I just love a cooperative audience, don't you, your majesty?" Audrie grinned and nudged him in the shoulder with her boot lightly.
"I suppose," Audrie said casually, "You're wondering what the hell I'm doing here. In less vulgare terms of course, since you are, naturally, Nobles. You don't think in those terms do you?"
"I would, indeed, like to know who you are," The king replied dryly, "Although either way you'll be going to the dungeons."
"I just love the way you people think," Audrie replied, smiling, "I'm not going to the dungeons anytime soon. You've got to remember that I've been under your nose for three weeks. Another twenty minutes isn't going to hurt."
"I'm the Ace of Spades, a lowly little thief who's been taking your things without your noticing for the past three weeks- quite at my convenience as well. Oh and by the way, you majesty, I never thought that anyone would need quite such fluffy towels for their baths. A tad bit excessive, don't you think? And did you even notice the missing paintings? Those were worth quite a good bit."
The look on the king's face contented Audrie very much.
"Look, you lot! I've been here for three weeks! I've taken loincloths, I've added in notes to your poems-" (Gary blushed slightly) "- I've stolen have of the jewelry on your persons and you've barely noticed! What does that say about how rich you are? It's disgusting, it is!"
An eerie silence fell upon everyone. Suddenly someone piped up and said, "You're not from Seren, are you?"
"You don't think I'm the daughter of the lord of Seren? I'm wounded that you would doubt my authenticity!" Audrie faked a hurt look and there was a breath of relief from the crowd. "Goddess, you people are morons. Thank goodness I didn't turn out like you." Audrie suddenly turned to the king and queen of Tusaine and waved towards them. "Of course, I could've, if I had stayed at home. Being the Princess of Tusaine can be a pain if you're a bandit though. If I'd stayed with mother and father I would've been just like the rest of you. But I ran away- stole all of the goods in the house too- and I find out that they're claiming I'm dead. So much for caring parents." The stricken look of her younger sister nearly made her smile. "My little sister didn't turn out incredibly bad despite everything, though."
Audrie suddenly spotted a group of burly looking men enter the door. "You know, I had a full fledged dramatic speech planned out for you, but you obviously just won't let me have my fun. I put up with you people for three weeks and you don't even let me have my speech."
Audrie walked out to the center of the dance floor, and everyone seemed to be more than willing to give her a twenty foot radius of frees space. Taking out a deck of cards from a pocket, Audrie smiled sweetly, and Raoul caught a hint of Odette in the smile. "But at least I can have my dramatic exit."
Before the guards had even reached the edge of the people around her, Audrie suddenly flourished the deck into a fountain of cards that obscured her from view. When they had all fallen, she was gone. The Author happens to be a fan of dramatic exits, so sue her.
Raoul simply stared at where Audrie had just been. It occurred to him that while he had suspected Audrie of knowing more about Spades than she would admit, he had never actually thought that she was the thief. A wave of surprise washed over him and he leaned onto a pillar for support.
There was a mass herding of nobles out of the ballroom, as they all went back to their rooms to make sure that nothing had been stolen from them. Of course, they all knew nothing had been stolen from them because they hadn't noticed anything gone. Things such as that simply only happened to other nobles, not them.
Despite the flow of salmon-nobles downstream/ out of the ballroom, Raoul and the others stayed behind. Surprisingly, Lady Selia was there as well. They all eyed each other nervously in silence as they slowly gravitated to the scattered cards in the center of the ballroom. The silence became overpower until Selia finally broke out.
"She seemed nice enough to me. She..." Selia faltered but carried on, "Helped me a lot. Very nice, though rather blunt at times."
"She wasn't the type to beat around the bush about things." Gary nodded contemplatively. "I guess that's what she meant about being such a great liar.
Raoul suddenly noticed that a single card had writing on it. Picking it up from the ground, he realized that there was a ring right next to it. A ring, in fact, that had been in his pocket twenty minutes ago. On the card it said, 'I don't know who you plan to give this to, Raoul, but good luck'. Raoul sighed and pocketed the ring.
They all shared a few anecdotes about 'Lady Audrelinia' when Raoul decided to recount his few encounters with the Ace of Spades. Afterwards, an awkward silence took over the room. Finally the group dispersed to their rooms in a vaguely gloomy silence.
~ ~ ~ ~
Audrie had just tossed her cards out when she slammed her foot down to open the hidden passage in the floor that gave way with the right pressure. No one, she was confident, would find it. Swiftly clicking the door back into its proper place, Audrie looked down the dark passageway and shivered. Luckily, however, she had planned for a cozy little tunnel like this and brought a torch and a match (AN: I don't particularly care whether they had matches back then, I forgot the name of the two stones you click together to light a fire) and struck the match against her boot. The tiny light danced alone in the cold darkness of the passage way that was beneath the castle. Setting the match to the torch, the tiny flame spread into a warm light that lit the passage for a radius of ten feet around her
Walking down the hallway silently, Audrie passed several doors that led to rooms that hadn't been used for hundreds of years. Originally this passage way had been used to evacuate the castle into the woods if it was under siege, so the passageway was wide as to allow many people to walk at once, rather than try to fit a camel through the eye of a needle. But the castle hadn't been under siege in the years of peace, and the passage had long been forgotten.
Audrie was walking calmly down the halls when she heard a din coming from one of the doors. "Should we warn them about..." "Are you stupid? Our entire point is to steal from them and you want us to go warn them?!"
Creaking the door open, Audrie saw a large group of men standing around. A few of them were smoking some sort of thing, and others were playing cards. "Warn who of what?" Audrie arched an eyebrow expectantly.
The gasp of surprise was soon followed by warm greetings: "Spades!", "What're you doing in here? It's been so long!" and "How much is that shirt worth?"
"You didn't answer the question."
"Well, come on," Ballin grinned from a corner, "They've just seen you after so many years and you expect them not to say anything? I told you we've missed you."
"Okay, nice to see everyone. Joy, joy and all that lot." Audrie stared at them.
"You're no fun, Spades. Come join us in cards. If you beat me we'll tell you what's what."
"How about you just tell me what's what." Audrie brandished a knife from her boot. There was an astonished silence.
"Stop joking, Spades. Put the knife away. We're family. Besides, there's thirty of us here, and only one of you. Opposition like that isn't friendly." A middle-aged man spoke up, but grinned.
"Opposition like that!" Audrie glared at them, outraged, "Here you are, plunging in and trying to take over a castle that has hundreds of able bodied fighters! And you talk about thirty to one! Taking down a castle like this takes an army, not thirty half-starved thieves."
The silence changed from astonished to slightly annoyed.
"You listen here, girl." An old man stood up from the corner, "You may pretend to be strong, but we have a girl who could beat you any day. I'll go call over to Spades and she'll teach you ta mind yer mouth."
There was a light cough. "He's, um, lost a bit of his memory." Another cough.
"I don't have time for this."
Ballin suddenly glared at Audrie. "So, now that you're Miss I've-Stolen- From-Tortall's-Finest-Lords-and-Ladies, you don't want to associate with us half-starved thieves, hm? Not that a I can blame you. Although, it's interesting that we were half-starved when you joined us and we were half- starved most of the time you knew us. Sure," He stormed up to Audrie, "Go ahead and just estrange us all! Never mind that that old man right there taught you your best slight of hand tricks! That the man you threatened with a knife was the one who taught you how to properly cheat at cards! Feel free to just ignore us! I guess we never mattered to you anyway."
Audrie stared emotionlessly at Ballin. "If you had one ounce of sense you'd realize that by asking these men - the ones that taught me everything I know, as you said- to go into the palace you're giving them their death wish. And I don't want them to die, simply because they matter so much to me. But if they want to listen to you, then fine. It's not my choice anyway. But you ought to at least explain what you meant by warning someone."
"Remember when you said it'd take an army to storm this castle?" A little boy that Audrie didn't recognize spoke up and Audrie nodded to his question. "Well, there is one. Right up in the hall. We've been here for a while so we saw them come in. They've been here for a while now. We heard 'em talking about their plans. We were wonderin' if we should tell the nobles."
"Well then." A cold feeling washed over Audrie. "Well."
A silence pursued as they all looked to Audrie to answer their predicament.
"What're you waiting for? The army'll destroy or take anything that would be of value to you. Let's go." With that, Audrie headed out of the room back in the direction she had originally been coming from. How this would all work out without her being hung she had no idea.
~ ~ ~ ~
Author's Notes: Hunh. Well, guess what? Two more chapters left (or one, depending upon how long I can drag the climax out to be. I've never been very good at that). So yep, the pairing is Audrie/Raoul, but I wouldn't say no to an alternate ending. See you next Saturday (don't you just hate me?) Any mean reviewers will receive emails from me flaming them and on the last chapter I'll be announcing specific thank-yous to favorite reviewers and such. You can think of it as reviewing the reviewer.