AN: About Sarah
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From: Jack Sparrow's Girl
Okay, okay, calm down about the Mary-Sue thing.
Whether this girl is a Mary-Sue or not, I found it difficult to like her, just because I don't know a whole lot about her character. The trouble is that the action in this story moves so fast that it leaves behind many details that are essential to developing her character. For example, in the first chapter it takes two sentences for her to get sent back in time to the Caribbean, and you tell nothing about her personality, her thoughts, or even her age.
So far all you have shown is 1. She has a severe temper problem and 2. She's not at all shy about cursing. However, this isn't enough for readers to actually get interested in her. Don't get me wrong; you have a good story line here, but just don't let the action push out the essential description that makes up a good story.
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The above was a review I got, this is how the whole mary-sue thing came about, Ok this is the deal. I'm glad that you told me why! I think you have a MAJOR point here about the whole WOW i'm back in time thing went too fast. So this is the deal, I will make a prolouge which I just started doing with all my fics lately I think anyways in the prolouge i'll let the reader get to know Sarah better. Like a description, her friends, living style etc. This will be totally optional to read for those allready into the story.
Alot well not alot but most of my readers are begging me to update since they like it so much which is why I didn't see this as a problem at first...
The reason I went so fast past the whole back in time thing is so the reader gets the point of why and how this happened, most storys that go on for chapters without getting into POTC action get dull to most readers, but now that I think about it I 110% agree with your point.
So I'm now working on the Prolouge. It will be based a day before this all happened, I think so far anyway. You'll get to understand how she lives, her friends, more about her personality and her outlook on life. This prolouge might be pretty long since I have alot of ideas going on in my head lol.
Well enough chit chat onto the next chapter and the prolouge! Like I said if you have any ideas, or advice or liked the story at all please review!!!
~Kelley
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From: Jack Sparrow's Girl
Okay, okay, calm down about the Mary-Sue thing.
Whether this girl is a Mary-Sue or not, I found it difficult to like her, just because I don't know a whole lot about her character. The trouble is that the action in this story moves so fast that it leaves behind many details that are essential to developing her character. For example, in the first chapter it takes two sentences for her to get sent back in time to the Caribbean, and you tell nothing about her personality, her thoughts, or even her age.
So far all you have shown is 1. She has a severe temper problem and 2. She's not at all shy about cursing. However, this isn't enough for readers to actually get interested in her. Don't get me wrong; you have a good story line here, but just don't let the action push out the essential description that makes up a good story.
*******************************************************************
The above was a review I got, this is how the whole mary-sue thing came about, Ok this is the deal. I'm glad that you told me why! I think you have a MAJOR point here about the whole WOW i'm back in time thing went too fast. So this is the deal, I will make a prolouge which I just started doing with all my fics lately I think anyways in the prolouge i'll let the reader get to know Sarah better. Like a description, her friends, living style etc. This will be totally optional to read for those allready into the story.
Alot well not alot but most of my readers are begging me to update since they like it so much which is why I didn't see this as a problem at first...
The reason I went so fast past the whole back in time thing is so the reader gets the point of why and how this happened, most storys that go on for chapters without getting into POTC action get dull to most readers, but now that I think about it I 110% agree with your point.
So I'm now working on the Prolouge. It will be based a day before this all happened, I think so far anyway. You'll get to understand how she lives, her friends, more about her personality and her outlook on life. This prolouge might be pretty long since I have alot of ideas going on in my head lol.
Well enough chit chat onto the next chapter and the prolouge! Like I said if you have any ideas, or advice or liked the story at all please review!!!
~Kelley