Disclaimer: I do NOT own Lord of the Rings or any of it's characters. I DO
own Val, Jackie, they're friends and all their stupidity.
They spent the night at Crickhollow, sharing it with Merry, against his will of course. "You WILL make FRODO go to BREE as soon as possible! MUAHAHAHAHAHA!" Jackie laughed evilly. "Aww, don't scare the poor Hobbit, remember Jackie - Hobbits are friends, not Food!" "Wait, since when does Finding Nemo have to do with Hobbits!?" "I don't know?" Poor Merry.
Three days later in Bag End, Frodo was talking with Gandalf! "Give me the Ring Frodo!" shouted Gandalf. "OK!" shouted Frodo, and Gandalf tossed the Ring into the fire. "AHHHHHHHHH! FIRE! AHH! ITS HOT! DAMN YOU! MY ARSE IS ON FIRE!!!" came from the Ring. With tongs, Gandalf picked the Ring out of the fire. "Put out your hand, Frodo, it's quite cool." "Quite hot and burnt more like it" muttered the Ring. "What can you see? Do you see anything?" asked Gandalf. "Well," started Frodo, "I see some form of Elvish that I cannot read and a little voice is coming from the Ring too." "The language is that of Mordor, which I will not utter here. And the voice? Simple. It's. hmm. well I do not remember. But its something evil, trust me." There was a bang and a clang and a clatter. And Gandalf sprung up to see what was the matter! "Confounded Samwise Gamgee! Have you been pantsdropping?" "I ain't been dropping no pants Sir, honest! I was dropping eaves!"
Out of nowhere Pippin ran in, out of breath. "Goosey Goosey Gandy! I bring news from Merry!" "Go on then," said Frodo. "I will! He says he's got two elves waiting for us all in the Green Dragon." "Alright, thank you master Peregr." started Gandalf but Pippin ran out before he could be thanked. Because the Green Dragon was a pub, and Pippin had an obsession with those. So Gandalf went off to do wizardy things and sent Frodo and Samwise to the inn.
At the Green Dragon, everyone had a mug of beer. After about twenty eight mugs Merry and Pippin pulled Val and Jackie up on a table with them and sang a song:
"Hey ho to the pub I go,
To heal my heart and drown my woe!
Rain may fall and wind may blow,
But there still beeee many miles to go!
Oh sweet is the sound of the pouring rain;
And the stream that falls from hill to plain.
But better than rain or rippling brook.
IS A MUG OF BEER INSIDE THIS TOOK!" And Pippin ended the song on a high scream and everyone loved it. Frodo was quite drunk too and decided to be stupid and take out the Ring. He touched the smooth gold surface and proceeded to talk dirty to it, as usual. Then he realized he needed to go to the little Hobbits room so he placed the Ring on the table and pounced off.
As Val and Jackie were walking by laughing they saw a shiny object and immediately knew it was the Ring. But where was Frodo!? O_O They freaked out seeing that finding Frodo was they're job. Val put the Ring in her pocket and proceeded to run in and out of every room. Jackie searched the outside. The only place they didn't look was the Hobbit boys bathroom, because they were not a Hobbit and they weren't a boy! 10 minutes later Frodo skipped back out and then realized the Ring wasn't on the table. He freaked out. And so there was Val, Jackie, and Frodo all running in and out of this tiny inn. Screaming, and tripping over things and they didn't stop till a good twenty mintues afterwards. when they were all out of breath. Then Val realized she had just ran past Frodo a bazillion times so she grabbed him, shoved the Ring in his pocket and went off to do a "3000 year old Elf pout" as she called it, and Jackie just drank more ale, while chatting with Samwise about gardening tools.
Next morning, everyone had really bad hangovers and still they couldn't walk straight. Which was funny. And look! Gandalf's back! "Frodo, the Ring is evil, it must be destroyed!" "Hey man that's not nice" came from the Ring. "Whatever, it cannot stay in the Shire though." "Where do I go?" asked Frodo after making a rather loud burp. "Make for Bree, and the Inn at the Prancing Pony. I shall meet you there. But first, I must see the head of my order, she is both wise and powerful. Trust me Frodo. You must go. Go with Merry and Pippin and Val and Jackie and Sam. But if I hear you put that Ring on you're finger you're in trouble." And so Gandalf left. Val and Jackie made a big sign to hang on Bag End "FRODO HAS LEFT THE SHIRE" and they did so, as soon as everyone left.
They spent the night at Crickhollow, sharing it with Merry, against his will of course. "You WILL make FRODO go to BREE as soon as possible! MUAHAHAHAHAHA!" Jackie laughed evilly. "Aww, don't scare the poor Hobbit, remember Jackie - Hobbits are friends, not Food!" "Wait, since when does Finding Nemo have to do with Hobbits!?" "I don't know?" Poor Merry.
Three days later in Bag End, Frodo was talking with Gandalf! "Give me the Ring Frodo!" shouted Gandalf. "OK!" shouted Frodo, and Gandalf tossed the Ring into the fire. "AHHHHHHHHH! FIRE! AHH! ITS HOT! DAMN YOU! MY ARSE IS ON FIRE!!!" came from the Ring. With tongs, Gandalf picked the Ring out of the fire. "Put out your hand, Frodo, it's quite cool." "Quite hot and burnt more like it" muttered the Ring. "What can you see? Do you see anything?" asked Gandalf. "Well," started Frodo, "I see some form of Elvish that I cannot read and a little voice is coming from the Ring too." "The language is that of Mordor, which I will not utter here. And the voice? Simple. It's. hmm. well I do not remember. But its something evil, trust me." There was a bang and a clang and a clatter. And Gandalf sprung up to see what was the matter! "Confounded Samwise Gamgee! Have you been pantsdropping?" "I ain't been dropping no pants Sir, honest! I was dropping eaves!"
Out of nowhere Pippin ran in, out of breath. "Goosey Goosey Gandy! I bring news from Merry!" "Go on then," said Frodo. "I will! He says he's got two elves waiting for us all in the Green Dragon." "Alright, thank you master Peregr." started Gandalf but Pippin ran out before he could be thanked. Because the Green Dragon was a pub, and Pippin had an obsession with those. So Gandalf went off to do wizardy things and sent Frodo and Samwise to the inn.
At the Green Dragon, everyone had a mug of beer. After about twenty eight mugs Merry and Pippin pulled Val and Jackie up on a table with them and sang a song:
"Hey ho to the pub I go,
To heal my heart and drown my woe!
Rain may fall and wind may blow,
But there still beeee many miles to go!
Oh sweet is the sound of the pouring rain;
And the stream that falls from hill to plain.
But better than rain or rippling brook.
IS A MUG OF BEER INSIDE THIS TOOK!" And Pippin ended the song on a high scream and everyone loved it. Frodo was quite drunk too and decided to be stupid and take out the Ring. He touched the smooth gold surface and proceeded to talk dirty to it, as usual. Then he realized he needed to go to the little Hobbits room so he placed the Ring on the table and pounced off.
As Val and Jackie were walking by laughing they saw a shiny object and immediately knew it was the Ring. But where was Frodo!? O_O They freaked out seeing that finding Frodo was they're job. Val put the Ring in her pocket and proceeded to run in and out of every room. Jackie searched the outside. The only place they didn't look was the Hobbit boys bathroom, because they were not a Hobbit and they weren't a boy! 10 minutes later Frodo skipped back out and then realized the Ring wasn't on the table. He freaked out. And so there was Val, Jackie, and Frodo all running in and out of this tiny inn. Screaming, and tripping over things and they didn't stop till a good twenty mintues afterwards. when they were all out of breath. Then Val realized she had just ran past Frodo a bazillion times so she grabbed him, shoved the Ring in his pocket and went off to do a "3000 year old Elf pout" as she called it, and Jackie just drank more ale, while chatting with Samwise about gardening tools.
Next morning, everyone had really bad hangovers and still they couldn't walk straight. Which was funny. And look! Gandalf's back! "Frodo, the Ring is evil, it must be destroyed!" "Hey man that's not nice" came from the Ring. "Whatever, it cannot stay in the Shire though." "Where do I go?" asked Frodo after making a rather loud burp. "Make for Bree, and the Inn at the Prancing Pony. I shall meet you there. But first, I must see the head of my order, she is both wise and powerful. Trust me Frodo. You must go. Go with Merry and Pippin and Val and Jackie and Sam. But if I hear you put that Ring on you're finger you're in trouble." And so Gandalf left. Val and Jackie made a big sign to hang on Bag End "FRODO HAS LEFT THE SHIRE" and they did so, as soon as everyone left.