[Chi's Work]

Unspoken Words

Chapter 3: A Girl Who Replaced Me

I look at Rui who is in front of me. It is the face that I have longed to see.

"Rui!" I heard a girl call at a near distance. I look around a see a girl with wavy long hair, a girl that has beauty no one can compare to. The girl walks over and slid her hand in Rui's naturally. I frown at that but quickly hide my expression with one of my smiles. Who is this girl? I have never seen her before.

"You must be Rui's little sister. I am Toudo Shizuka," the girl introduces herself to me. I smile at her.

"Well, lets get going! I have stand here long enough," Soujiro says as he lead the group to where their cars are. Shizuka has her arm around Rui's.

When we get to Rui's car, Shizuka climb in on the front seat. That was suppose to be my seat. She has replaced me. I sit in the back seat by myself and look at the 2 in front of me. Shizuka turns around with a big smile on her face.

"Rui told me a lot about you," Shizuka says with friendliness.

He did? I look at her with a questioning look. As if understanding my expression, she answers, "Yes. He told me some of your childhood stories. Some are quite interesting and fun. I envy you a lot to share such wonderful memories with my little Rui here."

I can't believe what I just heard. He talked to her? He, the one who wouldn't show any affections to others talks of our past to this stranger, and now she claims that it is HER Rui? I always thought that I am the only one that he would ever care other than himself. It proves me wrong again.

~~~

F4 and I gathered under a tree looking at the bird nest above us. We saw that there were little birds inside and we wanted to take a closer look, but I was afraid that if I got to close to the nest, I would scare the babies in there. Seconds later, Tsukasa suggested that he would bring the nest down so that we could see what was it in. He starts to climb up the tree as I tried to pull him down. Tsukasa was annoyed again and yelled at me, "What do you want? Let go of me." He yanked and pushed me on the ground giving me a scrape on my wrist where blood was slowly flowing out. I looked at Rui with pleading eyes hoping that he would understand what I want. Amazingly, he did.

"You will kill the babies by doing that," Rui said so faintly that we could barely hear it.

Not even noticing that he had hurt me, Tsukasa was already up next to the nest. Moving closer to it to take a closer look, Tsukasa's hand slipped and knocked the nest over along with the baby birds in it. I looked in horror as the not yet feathered birds falls and died immediately as they hit the ground. I glared at Tsukasa for ruining everything. I think he understood because I saw guilt in his eyes. It was the first time I saw it though. I looked at the dead birds in front of me and tears started to fights its way out of my eyes. Those birds reminded me of my lost family. Not long after, I started crying. It was the first time the F4 saw me cry, and I think I kind of startled them. They have always thought that I am strong like steel and can stand anything if I wanted to. Tsukasa stood in front of me and looks at me apologetically.

"Sorry," Tsukasa muttered. It was the first time I heard him say that. He had bullied Rui many times before but never did he once apologized.

Rui hugged me in his arms and hushed me like I was a baby. He kissed me on my forehead and on my injured wrist as if it would take away the pain on my wrist and in my heart. I knew he understood why I cried although I didn't know how he knew. On the other hand, Tsukasa was annoyed by the scene again and turned his back on us with his arms crossed while pouting like a little brat. Well, he was a brat.

"You know, she can HEAL BY HERSELF, Rui," Tsukasa announced.

We didn't care what he said. Or to be accurate, Rui didn't care what he said. Rui kept on holding me in his arms until I would stop crying.

~~~

Whoever this girl, Shizuka, is. She must be a great person for Rui to like her so much. For that reason, I can't seem to hate her even when she has taken something so precious from me. Or was it ever mine? I have came back way too late to do anything now. If only I had stick to my decision of returning each time they persuade me that they can help me become normal again. Now my chance is gone and it is not likely that I will get another. I have always thought that I could be with Rui ever since I was young. We had so much in common, we had so many things shared.

"It was very smart of you two to have thought of using Morse Code to communicate," Shizuka says as she turns her head to the back seat again.

I smile at her. She even knows that. That is supposed to be something shared only between Rui and me. He even told her that. Yes, we discovered to use Morse code to communicate when Rui was just too lazy to learn to understand the complicated sign language that I would do with my hands. We would hold each other's hand and squeeze it with rhythmic pulse of Morse code. I guess it is not our little "secret" anymore. I guess this girl has replaced me in Rui's heart when I was trying to be cured in a faraway land. I finally understand how little a place I had in Rui's heart. I am not as special as I thought I was.

~~~

Finally we are home. The house seems like as it has been like 6 years ago. Nothing had changed, except the people living in it. Mom and Dad are older and Rui is different now. Even I have changed. Over the years, what I thought was a brother-sister kind of love have changed into something else. So, I guess I can't blame Rui for having Shizuka by his side. He probably had never thought of me more than a mere little sister. He doesn't need me anymore.

I hug Mom and Dad at the door. I can't believe that they would wait for me at home when they should be working busily in their offices. Suddenly I don't feel as much discarded as a while ago.

Soujiro, Akira and Tsukasa help me pull all my luggages into my room. Rui had already disappeared somewhere in the house. Soujiro and Akira then started unpacking my things without my permission while searching for any souvenirs that they had asked for. They start throwing my clothes all over the floor while I go running in my room trying to clean up my belongings. All the effect of folding piles of clothes neatly and packing them into boxes are now going to waste!

"You have a bad taste in clothes," Akira comments.

Argh! It is none of their business of whether my taste in fashion is in style or not. I walk over to Akira and take the piece of clothing from him when Soujiro holds up a bra high in the air. I look and my face flushes.

"Oooooh! Lets see what size it is!" Soujiro teases. I can see the playfulness in his eyes before he continues, "I bet it is an A cup!"

"That was going to be my guess!" Akira exclaims.

My eyes widen and jump up in the air to grab my belonging. However, Soujiro keeps on lifting it higher just when I thought I was high enough to get it. This game that they are having, made me look like a dog that is trying to grab the toy from the owner. Akira keeps on laughing at the scene. That's when Tsukasa hit the heads of Soujiro and Akira. Soujiro drops my bra and puts both his hand on his head. Akira puts his hand on his head too to rub away the pain.

"What was that for?" Akira demands.

Tsukasa look dumbly at them, not knowing what kind of answer to give them. I know that he just doesn't want to admit he was helping. He never does whenever he did help. I don't understand what is the big deal in saying he helped.

Soujiro looks at me as I pick up my bra and I stick my tongue out at him before going to my luggage and taking out a couple of nicely wrapped boxes and place them on Soujiro's and Akira's hands. Although they had always tease me, it was only because they wanted to make me laugh or smile. It sure was fun having them around.

"How about me?" Tsukasa asks.

I smile sheepishly at him before digging up another box and put it in his hands. His face lit up immediately seeing that he has a gift too. How childish can he gets? He opened it and frowned a little. He takes the little octopus doll out of the box and looks at me questioningly. I points to the doll and then to his head and started laughing hysterically in silence. Akira and Soujiro looks at the present I got for Tsukasa and start laughing with me too.

From the bag that I had been carrying all along, I pulled out a little box that carries the present I got for Rui. I walk through the familiar hallway towards his room and opens the door only to find out that Rui is very busy at the moment. Apparently, Rui and Shizuka are kissing on the bed. Who knows what they will do next. I quickly bow apologetically at the startled couple and closed the door. The blood in my face are drained. So, they are that close already. I walk outside to the gigantic garden where no one would bother me. I don't want to be bothered now. My heart ache. I lay down lifelessly on one of the benches that is far away from the house. Far enough that no one would see me here. A tear roll down my cheek. I quickly wipe it away. I am not going to start crying now. What has happened, has happened. So, I shouldn't cry about it now. He is not that important to me anyways, I lie to myself. I stare up into the sky looking at the clouds that are floating by. The wind blows on my bare shoulder and I realize how cold I am. Nonetheless, I don't want to go back into the house yet. I don't want to see the couple and pretend to be happy. I lay there with my eyes closed concentrating on absorbing all the heat that the sun is shining on me. A shadow covers me, I knew, because the warmth of the sun is blocked. I open my eyes and I see Tsukasa looking at me. I sigh and turn to lay on my side so that my back is facing him.

"What are you doing here?" he asks.

The wind blow again and I shiver. What is he doing here? I am not in a mood for this. If you are going to lecture me about the doll I got for you, I have nothing to say other than it looks like you. But to my surprise, he didn't mention anything about the cute little octopus doll I got for him.

"Lets get inside, or you will get a cold," he offered.

I look at him and show him with the signs I am making with my hands that I don't feel like moving. Yes, he knows some sign language. In fact he asked me to teach him. He said that it would be easier for him to understand me. I personally don't see what's the need for him to know. It is not like we talk very often. But since he asked in such sincere way that I have never seen him do before, I decided to teach him even when he is too stupid to learn.

He pulls me to an upright sitting position where I am facing him. I wonder what he wants to do. Then he turns around and kneel down in front of me. I then understand what he wants to do. I wrap my arms around his neck and lean against him as he lift me up the bench and carry me on his back. I am just not in the mood for anything. Not even walking. I rest my head on his right shoulder and my left arm resting on his left shoulder. His back is much warmer that the wooden bench. Boredly, I trace my left hand's finger down his neck and just a little below his neck, I felt something bumpy. I trace the bumpy line and realize that it is a scar. I wonder where this long scar comes from. I poke at his scar a few times, trying to get his attention to where I am pointing to. He finally understand what I want to ask and says, "Well, don't you remember? It is the scar I got when we were climbing the high fence. I remember you injured your leg at that time."

~~~

It was a bet to see who would be able to climb over the fence the quickest. For some reason, Tsukasa thought that just because I am a girl, I would not be able to win him. I wanted to proof to him that he was wrong. It was a stupid bet, but whoever won could make the looser do anything he/she wanted. We counted to three before we ran to the fence and started climbing it. I was ahead of him and was happy - a little too happy when I slipped and fell on the ground from seven feet above. I winced in pain. My leg was bleeding. Tsukasa jumped off from wherever he was and got a cut on his chest from the wire fence. He kneels down before me to take a look at my bleeding leg. I hold on as hard as I could to stop the tears from coming. I was trying so hard that my face was all red.

"It's OK. You will be OK. If it hurts so much, just cry, don't hold it. It looks like you are going to explode," Tsukasa comforted. Though I didn't count the last part as much of a comfort.

I didn't hesitate and started crying. Droplets of tears were dripping from my face. We were alone there. No one could help us. This time Rui wasn't coming to kiss my booboo away. He was having his violin lesson. Soujiro and Akira just were there either. Tsukasa then carried me on his back and went to find the nearest adult that could help us, while I cried on his back, almost flooding him with my tears. He wasn't even noticing the deep cut on his chest that was soaking his shirt with his blood.

"Don't worry. You will be fine," Tsukasa said again.

~~~

I had a cut and a fractured leg that time. After recalling from the incident, I quickly stick out my leg in front of him and pull up my pants to show him the scar I have. Comparing his scar with my scar, I can't pick out who would win with the most hideous one.

"So, you have a big scar too," Tsukasa says.

The way he is carrying me now, is much like the time he was carrying me when I was injured. Though I am not physically injured now, I am internally. It is somehow comforting on his back.