To make a long story short, Craig was very excited for us. All of my friends were being great, which is way more than I could say for my parents.
That evening, after I had eaten dinner with Lindsey, I told her I had to go home.
"El, we aren't kicking you out yet. You can stay if you need to," Mrs. Appleman told me.
"I'd love to stay here. But you're not my family. I need to get home to my real family. I need to find out if they still love me or not, and I can't do that here. But I'll see you later, ok?"
"I'll walk you home," Lindsey said.
We didn't talk at all on the way to my house. I was too nervous to say anything, and I think Lindsey just didn't know what to say to me. Much too soon, we got to my house.
"Well, this is it," I said, my voice quivering.
"If things don't go well, if you need something….Well, I'll be home all night," Lindsey said.
"Thanks. But….well….I hope I don't see you again tonight. Nothing personal."
"I get it. I'll see you tomorrow at school, okay?" She kissed me, and gave me a long hug. I headed inside, my hands shaking.
"Mom," I called out. "Dad? I'm home. Er, is anyone around?" No one answered me, but I heard them talking in their bedroom. "They probably can't hear me," I thought to myself. I climbed upstairs, and knocked on their door. "Can I come in?"
"Sure," my mom said. I pushed open the door. They were both sitting on the bed, a phone between them. Neither of them were smiling.
"So…" I said awkwardly.
"I was going to ask you if you had given up this nonsense, but I saw you outside," my dad said, barely controlling his anger. "What were you doing?" he hissed. "Any of the neighbors could have seen what you were doing! Do you want the world to know?"
I bit my tongue. I wanted nothing more than to say something I would probably regret. However, I have that annoying habit of thinking before I speak. So I said nothing while he continued.
"Honey," my mom said, gently. "We've made an appointment for you with a Doctor Steve (a/n: yes, he'll be making a guest appearance). I think it'll really help for you to talk to him."
This didn't sound like my mom. She was accepting it?
"Yes," my father said. "We think he'll fix this little, er, problem you have. And then everything will be back to normal."
My hopes fell. I should have known it was too good to be true. They weren't accepting anything. They wanted to "fix" me.
"The only problem I have," I said, it a very measured tone, "is that my parents don't love me anymore. Being a lesbian isn't a problem. And that's what I am." I said, seeing my dad flinch at the word.
"Don't say that word, young lady. You don't know what you're talking about."
"I'm a lesbian, dad. A LESBI…" My shouting was cut off by a hard crack across my face. I staggered backwards, trying to catch myself from falling over.
"You will go to your room, and you will not leave it until you go to school tomorrow. If anyone asks, you fell. Got that?"
"Yes sir," I said meekly. When I got to my room, I looked in the mirror. A tear headed down my cheek, but got stuck in the cut that was bleeding on my face where my dad's wedding ring had cut me. A red handprint stood out clearly.
While I was attempting to clean up the cut with the tissues I had in my room, my cell phone rang. I picked it up. "Hello?" I said quietly, so no one else in my house would hear me.
"El? It's Lindsey. Did everything go okay?"
I looked in the mirror, at the tear that was heading down the bruise that was forming on my face. "Everything is fine," I told Lindsey. "My parents are cool."
"Really?" she said, disbelieving.
"Yeah. They're, uh, not really comfortable with all of it yet, but well, they're okay. I'm gonna stay here tonight, and I'll see you in the morning."
"Ok, goodnight El. Love you."
"Yeah," I said quietly, and hung up. I changed into my pajamas, crawled into bed, and stared at the wall all night.
That evening, after I had eaten dinner with Lindsey, I told her I had to go home.
"El, we aren't kicking you out yet. You can stay if you need to," Mrs. Appleman told me.
"I'd love to stay here. But you're not my family. I need to get home to my real family. I need to find out if they still love me or not, and I can't do that here. But I'll see you later, ok?"
"I'll walk you home," Lindsey said.
We didn't talk at all on the way to my house. I was too nervous to say anything, and I think Lindsey just didn't know what to say to me. Much too soon, we got to my house.
"Well, this is it," I said, my voice quivering.
"If things don't go well, if you need something….Well, I'll be home all night," Lindsey said.
"Thanks. But….well….I hope I don't see you again tonight. Nothing personal."
"I get it. I'll see you tomorrow at school, okay?" She kissed me, and gave me a long hug. I headed inside, my hands shaking.
"Mom," I called out. "Dad? I'm home. Er, is anyone around?" No one answered me, but I heard them talking in their bedroom. "They probably can't hear me," I thought to myself. I climbed upstairs, and knocked on their door. "Can I come in?"
"Sure," my mom said. I pushed open the door. They were both sitting on the bed, a phone between them. Neither of them were smiling.
"So…" I said awkwardly.
"I was going to ask you if you had given up this nonsense, but I saw you outside," my dad said, barely controlling his anger. "What were you doing?" he hissed. "Any of the neighbors could have seen what you were doing! Do you want the world to know?"
I bit my tongue. I wanted nothing more than to say something I would probably regret. However, I have that annoying habit of thinking before I speak. So I said nothing while he continued.
"Honey," my mom said, gently. "We've made an appointment for you with a Doctor Steve (a/n: yes, he'll be making a guest appearance). I think it'll really help for you to talk to him."
This didn't sound like my mom. She was accepting it?
"Yes," my father said. "We think he'll fix this little, er, problem you have. And then everything will be back to normal."
My hopes fell. I should have known it was too good to be true. They weren't accepting anything. They wanted to "fix" me.
"The only problem I have," I said, it a very measured tone, "is that my parents don't love me anymore. Being a lesbian isn't a problem. And that's what I am." I said, seeing my dad flinch at the word.
"Don't say that word, young lady. You don't know what you're talking about."
"I'm a lesbian, dad. A LESBI…" My shouting was cut off by a hard crack across my face. I staggered backwards, trying to catch myself from falling over.
"You will go to your room, and you will not leave it until you go to school tomorrow. If anyone asks, you fell. Got that?"
"Yes sir," I said meekly. When I got to my room, I looked in the mirror. A tear headed down my cheek, but got stuck in the cut that was bleeding on my face where my dad's wedding ring had cut me. A red handprint stood out clearly.
While I was attempting to clean up the cut with the tissues I had in my room, my cell phone rang. I picked it up. "Hello?" I said quietly, so no one else in my house would hear me.
"El? It's Lindsey. Did everything go okay?"
I looked in the mirror, at the tear that was heading down the bruise that was forming on my face. "Everything is fine," I told Lindsey. "My parents are cool."
"Really?" she said, disbelieving.
"Yeah. They're, uh, not really comfortable with all of it yet, but well, they're okay. I'm gonna stay here tonight, and I'll see you in the morning."
"Ok, goodnight El. Love you."
"Yeah," I said quietly, and hung up. I changed into my pajamas, crawled into bed, and stared at the wall all night.