[Chi's Work]
Unspoken Words
Chapter 7: Unforgiving
I staying at my curled up fetal position for some time until I can collect most of myself again. Tsukasa sits a few feet away from me on the floor. I am scared, still very scared. It is a fear that I can't describe. I sob, finding it starting hard to breathe from the stuffed up nose, since I have been crying for way too long. In fact, this is the longest time I have cried that I can remember. Of all the things I have faced, what happened can be count as the 2nd most frightful event in my life. The 1st if the day I lost my family. Just the thought of the death of my family makes my body shudders unnoticing. Ironically, this thought ease the fear I am having toward Tsukasa. I guess by comparing, what I just experience wasn't as bad as I thought as it would be. At least that is what I tell myself for comfort. Tears still flow uncontrollably. I don't need to hide them this time. I am not feeling ashamed for the tears. After all, I am not the one who made the wrong decision and done the wrong act. From the blurry version, due to tears, I can see Tsukasa starts to stand up and take a step toward me. Each step he makes toward me, I move a step back, just like the repulsion of the magnet of the same pole. He lets out a big sigh and I see a tear trickle down his face. I am actually quite taken aback by the sight. Why is he crying? Shouldn't I be the poor helpless victim here?
"Lets go home, OK?" Tsukasa asks gently. It's probably the most gentle tone I have ever heard from him.
I am not looking at him as he speaks. Just his face would make me angry, scared, confused, and frustrated at the same time. Not only am I scared, I am starting to feel anger and frustration at the moment. Hearing no response from me, Tsukasa continues, "It is getting late. Your family will be worried about you."
Look who is talking here. Who was making my family worry at the moment? It is you, Tsukasa. Why do you care all of a sudden? Weren't you the one who didn't give a damn about my feelings when I struggled in your killing grip?
Tsukasa takes another step forward and on cue, I move a step backward while I am still crouching on the floor. Tsukasa let out another big sigh and wipes away the tear that is threatening to fall. He proceeds his way toward me and I stand up to move away from him. This continues for sometime and before I know it, I am already out of the school building by this "Tsukasa-taking-a-step-forward-I-take-a-step-backward" play. I clutch on tight on the collar and down the opening of my shirt. The buttons had been ripped out by Tsukasa's forceful grasp. Just replaying the scene in my head again sends shiver down my spine. Tsukasa keeps on walking behind me as if "shooing" me home. I don't dare to stop and stand around for him to come closer than 2 meters in radius from where I am. I don't know what he will do this time if he comes close. All this while, I am still crying and wailing. The pedestrians look at me as if I am some sort of animal on exhibit in the zoo. However, I don't care. I just want to cry out all my fear. I take every advantage of wailing out loud my frights. Screaming sure can ease the turmoil in me, this is something I have not experienced for over a decade. I have almost forgotten the feeling of it until now. Some guy comes up to me and asks concernedly about what is the matter. I don't want to deal with any strangers at the moment. Somehow Tsukasa read my thought and pushes the stranger away, threatening to beat him up if he comes closer again. Tsukasa is practically making an open road in the crowded street for me to go through. I don't care what he is doing though, I am not going to forgive him for what he did. The sight of him reminds me of what happened and I can feel the fear creeping into me again. I quickly tear my eyes off him to prevent any other unpleasant feelings to possess me.
After about 30 minutes of walking, I have reached the front door of my home. The only safe place, since this is where Rui is right now. I ring the doorbell since I have drop my keys along with my other belongings in school when Tsukasa pull his act on me. I don't even attempt to calm my crying down a bit as the maid comes to open the door for me.
"Miss Tsuku..." the maid can't seem to finish her sentence as she looks at the sight of my torn shirt, bruised lips and wrist and me wailing loudly at the doorway.
"Uh...er...I am going to call Mrs. Hanazawa..." the maid's voice trails behind her as she runs to make a phone call.
Perhaps the commotion is attracting much attention, for several other servants in the house emerges from corners and doors to look at me. Again, I don't care. I have suffered enough today and I am going to do whatever I wish to. I know Tsukasa is still standing behind me about 10 feet away. He doesn't dare to come into the house. Maybe he is too ashamed of what he did?
Rui comes out from one of the doors and looks at me for a second before walking toward me. When he finally reaches in front of me, he examines my face some more like he is trying to make sure I am the Tsukushi he knows. After he reassures himself that I am Tsukushi, his thumbs gently slides its way across my bottom lip. I look at him with my blurred vision. Finally, he is here. He is here to chase my nightmare away. I abruptly wraps my arms tightly around his neck, not daring to let go. I am afraid that if I let go now, then everything bad will come and eat me up. He encircles his arms around me. I cry even louder in his arms.
"Shh....everything will be already. Nothing will come to hurt you anymore," Rui coos in to my ear.
My cries soon comes to a much calmer sobs after Rui's soothing words. These simple words are enough to make me feel better already. Rui just has his magic. Rui tries to take a good look at me. He puts his hands on my arm and gently parts me from him. I winces at the pain in my arms. Rui's already upset face, turns to an even more intense frown as he asks, "Are you hurt?" He quickly rolls up my sleeves and found a big purple and red bruise on each of my arms. I didn't even know that the bruises are this big until now. Rui then takes a step backward and takes another good look at me. He eyes trails from my arm to my torn shirt then to my bruised wrists. I feel a little uncomfortable and fidget a little as he stares at me.
"Who did this?" Rui's voice is evidently showing anger and so are his eyes.
I sobs some more not wanting to mutter the name of the person who did this to me. Rui and Tsukasa has been friends since they could ever remember. From the dangerous low growl that is trying desperately to escape in Rui's voice, I can tell, Rui won't be very thrill by the idea that Tsukasa is the one that hurt me.
"Who?" Rui repeats himself. This time showing a little impatient in his voice.
An other tear rolls down my cheek and sobs and all that are coming out of my mouth. I don't want Rui and Tsukasa to fight or be upset because of me. The insignificant me.
"I..." Tsukasa speaks behind me but quickly stops what he intends to say.
I jumps a little at Tsukasa's voice and hide myself behind Rui. For some reason, the sudden sound of his voice startles me and I naturally hide behind Rui. My sanctuary at the moment. Rui looks at Tsukasa who is still standing at some distance outside the house. Tsukasa looks down at the ground not willing to face Rui. Rui suddenly walks away from me and toward Tsukasa. I feel uneasy again when Rui's warmth leaves me. I don't want him to go away. Rui abruptly punches Tsukasa. I gasp. Rui sends a second punch on Tsukasa. Tsukasa is not fighting back. Tsukasa is not at his usual self. Although I am not very happy with Tsukasa at the moment, seeing him hurt still makes me feel bad. I quickly runs up in front of Lei and tell him to stop with the sign language that I am doing with my hands. I seem to have forgotten that I can speak again, but doing the sign language just feels more "right".
Rui stops what he is doing and takes a step back from Tsukasa. I am actually quite relieved as Rui stops beating Tsukasa. I take Rui's hand, leading him into the house. Just before we close the door of the house, Rui turns around and says, "Don't ever come close to Tsukushi again. Ever. I mean it." Then Rui continues his way into the house and I follow behind him. I take one last look at Tsukasa just before I close the door. Again, my heart feels sour when I see the all battered up Tsukasa. Tsukasa looks at me, still half lying on the ground. His watery eyes looks at me pleading for forgiveness. My heart wants to soften as his begging looks seeps into me. I want to forgive him, but another thought of the event make my decision determined again. I shut my eyes, avoiding his stares as I closes the door in front of him.
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This seems like quite a short chapter. O well....I still hope I will get lots of comments. Ai~~~I really study for my exam now. I will be waiting for your reviews.