All right, time for the next awful chapter...
Birdie: It can't be that bad...
Reaper: Trust me, the only thing worse than this is Mary-sue
A/N I got the Idea for this fic whilst watching Harry Potter in French (both the class and the language, we listened to Quirrel shouting 'TROLE À LA CACHOT' and Olivander talking about 'Baguettes' which is apparently French for wand.) I am not exactly sure how, seeing as they have nothing to do with one another but hey, these things happen...
Disclaimer: I still don't own Harry Potter and Sirius is still dead. Hmph! Not in this story!
+++++++++++++Chapter one++++++++++++++
The next day, north Norfolk...
On the outskirts north of Norfolk right by the sea, the early February winds blew against the cliffs, and the tiny shack on top of it.
The shack was as old as time (nearly) and should have crumbled into the sea long long ago. The mouldy walls could barely keep the house together, let alone provide a decent shelter from the storm outside. The nails holding them up were so rusty that they could hardly be called nails... more like pieces of iron oxide.
The cliff it was standing on looked about to fall into the ocean at any moment, and would of done, if it hadn't been for the spells holding it up,
Because, of course, it was under spells to keep it up due to the fact that there was a wizard inside and he would rather not be working under water.
Remus Lupin shivered in his damp shabby robe and took the coffee off the heat.
He set it down next to his typewriter and began pondering the report he was supposed to be sending to Dumbledore, whilst wishing reverently that he was back at number twelve Grimmauld place, safe and dry and joking with Sirius about his latest escapade.
Which, of course, was the reason he was in this mess. His latest work for the order had chased him to this 'convenient' hideout, until the danger passed.
Well... he hadn't meant to run into that house-elf whilst raiding the McNair house, but he didn't think McNair asked his house-elf to clean the room where he kept his illegal dangerous creatures.
So, after many chases and much strain on both parties, Remus remained stuck in this old shack, trying to come up with a worthwhile report on his situation (Not to mention how he was going to find an owl, let alone one that could fly in this weather.)
Oh well He thought, best make the most of it, knowing my luck, It's bound to get worse.
How tragically correct he was.
"Let's see" He said to himself "Dear Dumbledore, McNair is keeping seven Chimaera's a Quintaped and three different species of dragon (and about a million other things) in the basement of his mansion. Unfortunately I was caught by his house-elf and was not concentrating when I apparated, thus landing in north Norfolk and am now in an old shack by the sea. HELP ME!!!"
Maybe not.
Unfortunately, it was an accurate description of his current situation.
Sirius had warned him about the safety precautions that McNair had installed when he had done his raid of the house, he had almost been caught himself but years of escaping Filch helped him to escape the Death Eater. Unfortunately, the raid had been incomplete when Sirius had been forced to leave, and they couldn't risk him going back so they sent Remus instead.
It seemed McNair was a bit paranoid.
And with good reason Remus thought. He sighed and ran his fingers through his hair, then he brought the coffee to his lips and sipped it.
It didn't really help Remus' nerves that McNair was head of the committee of the disposal of dangerous beasts. If anything went wrong, he could count on a nice silver bullet through the heart. Yay.
So occupied with his thoughts was he that he was only moderately aware that two men in ministry robes had apparated into the room.
He jumped back and reached for his wand, a little late.
"Expelliarmus!" Yelled one of them with a distinct Scottish accent thrown into the spell.
Remus was thrown back against the wall as his wand flew from his hand. The flimsy wall cracked with the force of the blow. Then the second wizard began to speak.
"Remus. J. Lupin, we are agents Flack and Meddle, * you are under arrest for lycanthropy and several illegal acts connected to it"
He spoke with a heavy Liverpool accent, not that Remus cared, he was too busy trying to wake up from his nightmare.
Unfortunately he discovered that the alleged nightmare was, infact, reality.
Then he experienced a great deal of shock.
"WHAT?!" he yelled
"The ministry has declared werewolves too dangerous to be allowed free reign about the country" explained Flack (at least, he thought it was Flack)
Then Remus started to stutter out some incoherent sentences, finally uttering out
"Wh-who ordered this?!"
"We are not at liberty to say" said Flack
"Especially not to werewolves like you" Added Meddle cruelly.
This was unexpected.
Dumbledore had warned him that since Wormtail was now Voldemorts servant, he would tell The Dark Lord everything he knew about the order of the phoenix, including Remus' Lycanthropy. Voldemort would use this information any way he could, and it was only too easy to exploit a werewolf But he had never expected this.
He remembered about twenty years ago when Lily and James had just got married, a similar regulation had been passed, but Dumbledore had discovered that it was actually one of the dark sides plots, and had it abolished a month later, it was not an experience he wished to repeat.
Unfortunately Dumbledore was not in a position of power in the wizarding world at the moment (due to his believing that Voldemort was back and all that) and it would be practically impossible for him to help.
Very Unexpected.
"If you make any attempt to escape we are authorised to use force" Said Meddle
"Or maybe you've forgotten, the three unforgivable curses aren't unforgivable when used on werewolves " sneered Flack
Remus only had one answer to that.
"Aren't unforgivable? Aren't unforgivable is a double negative, It's not grammaticly correct-"
" Crucio! " yelled Meddle (Or Flack, he still wasn't sure which was which)
Remus screamed and writhed on the floor, the pain was so intense he felt like transforming would be almost nice.
At least if he transformed he could bite these morons until they were a bloody pulp, let them go through a transformation into a monster every month. Too bad the next full moon was a week away.
"Stupefy!" yelled one of them, He had no time to figure out which one, he saw a flash of silver before...
"We have a nice siver paperweight potkey for you " said Flack (or Meddle) Grabbing hold of his hand and shoving it on the Portkey.
**************** For a moment there was nothing, but only for a split seconed. Then he felt a knife plunging into his hand, but that was only the slilver burning him. Then the floor vanished and the walls and ceiling soon followed.
He couldn't see exactly where he was, but his suspicians of who gave the order for this crazy new regulation were confirmed when he heard a voice, not Meddle or Flack, but a cold slimy voice.
"I certainly had the right idea on how do deal with scum like this, the world will definatly be a better place without this filth"
"Yes Mr. Malfoy" said Flack and Meddle in a monotone voice
"Good work, Mack and Fleddle was it?"
" Thank you Mr. Malfoy" Said Flack and Meddle
"Good thing Dolores backed me up on this one" said Malfoy
Dolores?
Dolores UMBRIDGE???!!!
He should've known. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
* Flack and Meddle are my aunts names now they're married. They're psycho- bitches from hell and I hate them. I'm tempted to call them Aunt Petunia (Flack) and Aunt Marge (Meddle) and if they read this I'll have to take a trip off a cliff... ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Well that's that...
How crap, I'm getting worse and worse...
Birdie: It can't be that bad...
Reaper: Trust me, the only thing worse than this is Mary-sue
A/N I got the Idea for this fic whilst watching Harry Potter in French (both the class and the language, we listened to Quirrel shouting 'TROLE À LA CACHOT' and Olivander talking about 'Baguettes' which is apparently French for wand.) I am not exactly sure how, seeing as they have nothing to do with one another but hey, these things happen...
Disclaimer: I still don't own Harry Potter and Sirius is still dead. Hmph! Not in this story!
+++++++++++++Chapter one++++++++++++++
The next day, north Norfolk...
On the outskirts north of Norfolk right by the sea, the early February winds blew against the cliffs, and the tiny shack on top of it.
The shack was as old as time (nearly) and should have crumbled into the sea long long ago. The mouldy walls could barely keep the house together, let alone provide a decent shelter from the storm outside. The nails holding them up were so rusty that they could hardly be called nails... more like pieces of iron oxide.
The cliff it was standing on looked about to fall into the ocean at any moment, and would of done, if it hadn't been for the spells holding it up,
Because, of course, it was under spells to keep it up due to the fact that there was a wizard inside and he would rather not be working under water.
Remus Lupin shivered in his damp shabby robe and took the coffee off the heat.
He set it down next to his typewriter and began pondering the report he was supposed to be sending to Dumbledore, whilst wishing reverently that he was back at number twelve Grimmauld place, safe and dry and joking with Sirius about his latest escapade.
Which, of course, was the reason he was in this mess. His latest work for the order had chased him to this 'convenient' hideout, until the danger passed.
Well... he hadn't meant to run into that house-elf whilst raiding the McNair house, but he didn't think McNair asked his house-elf to clean the room where he kept his illegal dangerous creatures.
So, after many chases and much strain on both parties, Remus remained stuck in this old shack, trying to come up with a worthwhile report on his situation (Not to mention how he was going to find an owl, let alone one that could fly in this weather.)
Oh well He thought, best make the most of it, knowing my luck, It's bound to get worse.
How tragically correct he was.
"Let's see" He said to himself "Dear Dumbledore, McNair is keeping seven Chimaera's a Quintaped and three different species of dragon (and about a million other things) in the basement of his mansion. Unfortunately I was caught by his house-elf and was not concentrating when I apparated, thus landing in north Norfolk and am now in an old shack by the sea. HELP ME!!!"
Maybe not.
Unfortunately, it was an accurate description of his current situation.
Sirius had warned him about the safety precautions that McNair had installed when he had done his raid of the house, he had almost been caught himself but years of escaping Filch helped him to escape the Death Eater. Unfortunately, the raid had been incomplete when Sirius had been forced to leave, and they couldn't risk him going back so they sent Remus instead.
It seemed McNair was a bit paranoid.
And with good reason Remus thought. He sighed and ran his fingers through his hair, then he brought the coffee to his lips and sipped it.
It didn't really help Remus' nerves that McNair was head of the committee of the disposal of dangerous beasts. If anything went wrong, he could count on a nice silver bullet through the heart. Yay.
So occupied with his thoughts was he that he was only moderately aware that two men in ministry robes had apparated into the room.
He jumped back and reached for his wand, a little late.
"Expelliarmus!" Yelled one of them with a distinct Scottish accent thrown into the spell.
Remus was thrown back against the wall as his wand flew from his hand. The flimsy wall cracked with the force of the blow. Then the second wizard began to speak.
"Remus. J. Lupin, we are agents Flack and Meddle, * you are under arrest for lycanthropy and several illegal acts connected to it"
He spoke with a heavy Liverpool accent, not that Remus cared, he was too busy trying to wake up from his nightmare.
Unfortunately he discovered that the alleged nightmare was, infact, reality.
Then he experienced a great deal of shock.
"WHAT?!" he yelled
"The ministry has declared werewolves too dangerous to be allowed free reign about the country" explained Flack (at least, he thought it was Flack)
Then Remus started to stutter out some incoherent sentences, finally uttering out
"Wh-who ordered this?!"
"We are not at liberty to say" said Flack
"Especially not to werewolves like you" Added Meddle cruelly.
This was unexpected.
Dumbledore had warned him that since Wormtail was now Voldemorts servant, he would tell The Dark Lord everything he knew about the order of the phoenix, including Remus' Lycanthropy. Voldemort would use this information any way he could, and it was only too easy to exploit a werewolf But he had never expected this.
He remembered about twenty years ago when Lily and James had just got married, a similar regulation had been passed, but Dumbledore had discovered that it was actually one of the dark sides plots, and had it abolished a month later, it was not an experience he wished to repeat.
Unfortunately Dumbledore was not in a position of power in the wizarding world at the moment (due to his believing that Voldemort was back and all that) and it would be practically impossible for him to help.
Very Unexpected.
"If you make any attempt to escape we are authorised to use force" Said Meddle
"Or maybe you've forgotten, the three unforgivable curses aren't unforgivable when used on werewolves " sneered Flack
Remus only had one answer to that.
"Aren't unforgivable? Aren't unforgivable is a double negative, It's not grammaticly correct-"
" Crucio! " yelled Meddle (Or Flack, he still wasn't sure which was which)
Remus screamed and writhed on the floor, the pain was so intense he felt like transforming would be almost nice.
At least if he transformed he could bite these morons until they were a bloody pulp, let them go through a transformation into a monster every month. Too bad the next full moon was a week away.
"Stupefy!" yelled one of them, He had no time to figure out which one, he saw a flash of silver before...
"We have a nice siver paperweight potkey for you " said Flack (or Meddle) Grabbing hold of his hand and shoving it on the Portkey.
**************** For a moment there was nothing, but only for a split seconed. Then he felt a knife plunging into his hand, but that was only the slilver burning him. Then the floor vanished and the walls and ceiling soon followed.
He couldn't see exactly where he was, but his suspicians of who gave the order for this crazy new regulation were confirmed when he heard a voice, not Meddle or Flack, but a cold slimy voice.
"I certainly had the right idea on how do deal with scum like this, the world will definatly be a better place without this filth"
"Yes Mr. Malfoy" said Flack and Meddle in a monotone voice
"Good work, Mack and Fleddle was it?"
" Thank you Mr. Malfoy" Said Flack and Meddle
"Good thing Dolores backed me up on this one" said Malfoy
Dolores?
Dolores UMBRIDGE???!!!
He should've known. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
* Flack and Meddle are my aunts names now they're married. They're psycho- bitches from hell and I hate them. I'm tempted to call them Aunt Petunia (Flack) and Aunt Marge (Meddle) and if they read this I'll have to take a trip off a cliff... ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Well that's that...
How crap, I'm getting worse and worse...