Once I got a little ways away, I stopped running. It was only a few blocks to Craig's house, so I was there in no time. He was sitting on the front porch, and when I got there, he looked sadly at my face. I tried to hide it behind my hair, but I knew he had seen it. And I knew it looked worse. In fact, I wasn't even sure how bad it looked, because I ran out of the house too quickly to look.
"Come on, El. Let's go for a walk," Craig said.
We headed down the street and walked for a while until we got to the Community Park. It was pretty empty because it was getting colder outside.
"Craig, I know what you're thinking," I said quickly, before he even started to talk. "But that's not how it is! I'm just clumsy, that's all." I lifted my head and looked at him. He wasn't buying a word. "Please don't tell anyone," I whispered, pleading with my eyes.
"El, it's not right."
"I'm not like you Craig. I don't have a step dad who'd take me in. I don't even have any other relatives. I have a mom and a dad. That's it. I couldn't stay in this town, at this school. I'd lose all my friends. I'd lose Lindsey."
"El, we could figure something out. It would be okay."
"NO!" I shouted. "Craig, I know that you're trying to help, but I'll be okay. I'm sure he'll get over it, and then it'll stop."
Craig reached up to touch the side of my face, where it was bruised. I flinched at the movement.
"El, I can't even touch you without you being afraid."
"Craig, just because everything worked out for you, doesn't mean it'll be the same for me. Life isn't always happy bunnies and sunshine, and everything doesn't always work out in the end."
"I can't just watch it happen."
"Yes you can. If you care about me at all, you'll leave well enough alone. Please?"
"El," he said, with resignation in his voice. He paused. "Ok. But, but you have to tell me. How bad is home?"
"My mother watches it happen. If anything, him hitting me doesn't hurt as much as that does. Yesterday, when he hit me, she just sat there and watched. And today, when he got some stupid phone call from some jerk at school, he came storming up. My whole body hurts. He's so big, he can just throw me around like a rag doll. But it's not his fault. I…I know my parents. I shouldn't have…It's my fault, and I know it is. I didn't even need him to tell me that."
"El, it's not your fault. My God, not parent should beat their child."
"He doesn't beat me. He just…"
"El, he beats you. He pushes you around and then he hits you. He's beating you."
"You make it sound so bad," I said, with tears in my eyes. "He's doing it because he loves me."
"HE'S DOING IT BECAUSE HE'S A BASTARD!"
"DON'T TALK ABOUT MY FATHER THAT WAY! HE LOVES ME, AND I LOVE HIM TOO! WHY CAN'T YOU JUST TRY TO UNDERSTAND? HE'S MY FATHER!" I cried even harder. "He's my father," I cried softly, sinking to the ground. Craig sat down on the ground with me, putting his arms around me.
"Shhhh," he said. "It'll be okay. Don't cry. It'll be okay." We sat there for a while, me crying, and him comforting me. All of a sudden, it occurred to me. I looked at my watch.
"Shit! Oh God, it's 6:10. Craig! It's 6:10!" I took off running. Craig, jumped up, and ran after me.
"What? What's the matter?"
"Dinner's at six! Six o'clock Craig! And not a second later! Oh God, he's going to kill me!"
"El, just come home with me. You can talk to Joey, he'll help."
I got to my house, ignoring Craig, and ran inside, dreading what would happen.
"Come on, El. Let's go for a walk," Craig said.
We headed down the street and walked for a while until we got to the Community Park. It was pretty empty because it was getting colder outside.
"Craig, I know what you're thinking," I said quickly, before he even started to talk. "But that's not how it is! I'm just clumsy, that's all." I lifted my head and looked at him. He wasn't buying a word. "Please don't tell anyone," I whispered, pleading with my eyes.
"El, it's not right."
"I'm not like you Craig. I don't have a step dad who'd take me in. I don't even have any other relatives. I have a mom and a dad. That's it. I couldn't stay in this town, at this school. I'd lose all my friends. I'd lose Lindsey."
"El, we could figure something out. It would be okay."
"NO!" I shouted. "Craig, I know that you're trying to help, but I'll be okay. I'm sure he'll get over it, and then it'll stop."
Craig reached up to touch the side of my face, where it was bruised. I flinched at the movement.
"El, I can't even touch you without you being afraid."
"Craig, just because everything worked out for you, doesn't mean it'll be the same for me. Life isn't always happy bunnies and sunshine, and everything doesn't always work out in the end."
"I can't just watch it happen."
"Yes you can. If you care about me at all, you'll leave well enough alone. Please?"
"El," he said, with resignation in his voice. He paused. "Ok. But, but you have to tell me. How bad is home?"
"My mother watches it happen. If anything, him hitting me doesn't hurt as much as that does. Yesterday, when he hit me, she just sat there and watched. And today, when he got some stupid phone call from some jerk at school, he came storming up. My whole body hurts. He's so big, he can just throw me around like a rag doll. But it's not his fault. I…I know my parents. I shouldn't have…It's my fault, and I know it is. I didn't even need him to tell me that."
"El, it's not your fault. My God, not parent should beat their child."
"He doesn't beat me. He just…"
"El, he beats you. He pushes you around and then he hits you. He's beating you."
"You make it sound so bad," I said, with tears in my eyes. "He's doing it because he loves me."
"HE'S DOING IT BECAUSE HE'S A BASTARD!"
"DON'T TALK ABOUT MY FATHER THAT WAY! HE LOVES ME, AND I LOVE HIM TOO! WHY CAN'T YOU JUST TRY TO UNDERSTAND? HE'S MY FATHER!" I cried even harder. "He's my father," I cried softly, sinking to the ground. Craig sat down on the ground with me, putting his arms around me.
"Shhhh," he said. "It'll be okay. Don't cry. It'll be okay." We sat there for a while, me crying, and him comforting me. All of a sudden, it occurred to me. I looked at my watch.
"Shit! Oh God, it's 6:10. Craig! It's 6:10!" I took off running. Craig, jumped up, and ran after me.
"What? What's the matter?"
"Dinner's at six! Six o'clock Craig! And not a second later! Oh God, he's going to kill me!"
"El, just come home with me. You can talk to Joey, he'll help."
I got to my house, ignoring Craig, and ran inside, dreading what would happen.