Cut
By Snarry
Notes: Yes, it took forever. This chapter is for SEP! SEP is a great writer and SEP is a nice review so she made me get off my lazy arse! Go SEP! How many times have I said SEP? *shrugs* Oh well, SEP needs to be mentioned.
5. The Trouble with Friends
"Harry, where have you been?" Hermione said just as I sat down at the House table.
I shrug. "I just wanted to spend time with Sirius."
She looks relieved. "Good. Now Harry James Potter, never do that again!" She was in tears now. "You can't do that! Do you know how long I was out looking for you?"
I cringed. "I'm so sorry. I just wanted to spend time with him."
"Ok, please don't do that again."
I nodded. "I have to go."
"But Harry, you haven't ate breakfast yet!"
"I had some with Sirius earlier this morning," I lied.
She watched me go.
I ran into the prefect's bathroom. The password hasn't changed for 3 years.
I pulled out my razor I stole from Sirius. God, I try, really I do.
I watch the blood ooze out from my wrist. Somehow it was calming or maybe I'm getting drowsy from the blood loss.
I'm crying. I'm crying because I let him down. I love him and that's why I cut. It's always for him. I'm not cutting because I'm angry or sad, not now anyway, but I do it out of habit now. Cutting is a part of me as feet are to you. I don't cut deep. I don't want to die! I can't stop!
Sirius is going to hate me. I hate myself for that. I love him and I can't stop. I have to though; I have to stop for him.
And I faint.
6. Stop
I open my eyes to see white. I know where I am.
"Harry dear, you're up!" Sometimes I wonder when I'm going to get my own bed in the hospital wing.
I look around. Sirius is sleeping in a chair by my bed. Guilt is rising.
He jumps awake and pulls me into a loving, yet firm, hug that I do not deserve.
"Oh Harry, I thought I lost you," He said.
He cups my face and I look into his pale blue eyes, I know he has been crying. Am I the only one that can make a proud man cry?
"I'm sorry," I said as he pulled me into his lap and gently rocks me. I look at my wrist and see that they are bandaged.
We have an audience. Poppy looks at us and clicks her tongue. She knows. And she will tell on us. She'll tell the ministry and they'll take away my lover.
I think Sirius saw me looking at Poppy and he answers my question. "Poppy knows. Don't worry, she understands that we are soul mates."
And to prove his point, he kisses me, long and sweet. He gently runs his tongue on my gums. It's pure bliss. Our arms warp around each other and then a loud cough brings us to the world.
Snape. He just had to make this precious moment end.
I blush like I've never blushed before. Sirius glares, but not like he used to. "What do you want, Snape?"
^o^o^o^o^o^
Oh yes, very short, but I had to have a cliffie. *bows* I'm terribly sorry, Master Elf, but does anyone want a Severus/Harry/Sirius or should it stick with Sirius/Harry?
Hn. I have the next part almost done.
But, here's something that is a little extra for the people who review.. Or at least read. It's a very AU pottercest. It's JamesxHarry. Boy, I'm going to hell.
A Father's Love
By Snarry
Rating: R
Warning: Slash no spoilers, AU and incest
Summary: I am a typical 16-year old boy, yet I have a dark secret. I'm in love, but in love with Him. I opened my eyes, looking into James Potter's hazel ones. God, how can I be in love with my own father?
1. A Father's Love and Confusion
We were lying on the couch. God, I can smell his hair. Mum won't be home until dawn.
'Dad?'
'Yes, love?' God, does he know what he is doing to me?
'It's nothing.' I said quickly. What I was going to ask him would make him disgusted, I know.
He smiled, 'Son, you can tell me anything.'
I try not to cringe when he calls me 'son'.
I take a deep breath. 'Would you hate me if-if I was. gay?' I scooted away from him, closing my eyes.
'No! Why would I hate you?' He asked, sounding hurt.
I hesitate. 'Well, um, you're straight.'
'Harry, I my still be with your mum, but that does not make me 100% straight.'
I opened my eyes, looking into James Potter's hazel ones. God, how can I be in love with my own father?
He suddenly wrapped his arms around me. I try my best not to melt in his arms, but I can't help it. Somehow, this is meant to be, even if it illegal.
'Harry, I-I don't know how to say this but, um, I have feelings towards you that are really..' He breaks off, untangling his arms from my waist.
I think I know what he means. I quickly press my lips against his. He stiffens at first the timidly runs his tongue across the top of my lip. He re-wraps his arms around me. I tangle my fingers in hair that is so like mine. I can't help it.
He pulls his lips from mine; I am thinking the worst.
I think he saw my hurt eyes, but that I will never know.
'Harry, this is happening too fast. Don't worry, I'm not going to ah, stand you up or anything, but Lily will be home soon.'
'I-I love you.' I murmur.
He smiles, 'I love you too.'
*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&
We were still on the couch when mum came home, but we were not in an intimate position, now.
We were watching the telly, a muggle thing that mum bought us.
She looked hassled. 'Honey, I need to talk to you,' she said to my love.
He kissed the top of my head, so innocently. She never suspected a thing.
And they closed the door to their bedroom and I feel a surge of jealousy. I can't believe I'm mad with my mother, after all they are married.
They talk for a long time, so long in fact that I fell asleep.
His yelling woke me up.
'What do you mean? How could you leave me for LUPIN?'
I face the back off the couch, tears falling freely. He never wanted me.
'James, I just think that we should get a divorce.'
His yelling again muffles my cries.
'Fine, leave, Lily! Just think of the family that you are ruining! How could you leave me for one of my best friends?'
I ran to my room, they do not notice my tear-stained face or me.
He never wanted me.
That thought raced through my head as I grabbed my broom and flew out the window. Sirius will help me.
2. A Godfather and His Secret
I knocked on his door to his flat.
The one person that I would never see here opened the door.
Snape.
'Potter, what do you want?'
Gods, I am at my own godfather's house and he can not keep in mind that.
I glare at him, but it doesn't effect him. I think it is the tearstains.
'I need to speak to Sirius,' I grind out between clenched teeth.
'Wait here, I'll get him.'
Does he know how cold it is? It's in the middle of December and in England! I'm only in Pyjamas!
When Sirius got to the door, I'm blue and my glasses are frosted and my teeth are chattering.
'What's up kiddo?' He smiles as if I'm not here, getting frostbite because Snape is here and he has no manners.
'N-nothing,' I say, teeth chattering.
He looks at me as if I crawled out of nowhere. My soul-racking cough brings him into a right state of mind.
'Who made you stay out here?' he asks as he showed me into his sitting room.
'Snape,' I manage to cough out.
'Se-Snape?' he asked, looking puzzled.
I nod, catching his mistake. 'You know, the greasy git with no manners? The one who let me get frostbite?' I know that if he is not 'involved' with Snape, Severus Snape is a dead man.
'Sirius! Mum-she-she is leaving Dad!'
Sirius jumped up and pushed my on a couch. He waved his wand and a blanket flew out of his bedroom and on to my lap.
He looked at me with his big blue eyes. 'What do you mean?'
I look down. 'I heard them fighting. Mum said that she doesn't live Dad and she is going to file a divorce and go with Lupin.' I said in a rush.
He swore. 'I can't believe what Lupin did! He broke up your family.'
I nodded. 'Sirius, can I stay with you?'
I thought it over. 'But what about James?'
I bit my lip. 'He doesn't need me. What he needs is a vacation or something! God, you should have heard his yelling!'
Sirius let out his bark-like laugh, but laughter was missing in his eyes. 'You can stay in the extra bedroom across mine.'
*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&
It's horribly OOC, but hey, I can dream, right? Here's something for all you non-cesters.
Without a Trace
((((((())))))))))))))))((((((((((((())))))))))
Missing: 2 hours
"What do you mean? Siri just can't be gone!" a young man yelled at his Headmaster and close friend of the Potters.
The old man sighed. "I'm sorry Harry, but your father will be here soon."
James Potter was having a bad day. This is the first day he has been without his Lily. She died just yesterday and they were going to go to her funeral in three days, but his best friend was kidnapped. He knew that this would hurt his son; Harry loved Sirius with all his heart-maybe too much, but Sirius was his role model. James was working all the time and he had no time for his teen-aged son. Harry had almost grown up with Sirius Black. He had received a ransom note at work for his best friend. He called the school because he knew that Harry would be heart broken if he waited the last minute. He couldn't loose his son anymore than he already had.
Harry hugged his knees to his chest. He never allowed the tears to fall- especially when he was sitting on a hard plastic chair in the office. He knew that people who knew Sirius would be swarming in. Like his Uncle Remus who taught fencing after school. He knew that Remus liked his godfather a little too much and would be heart broken. And Professor Snape who taught Chemistry would arrive. He knew the man hated his father and Sirius, but who would show up to gloat about Siri's death.
"Professor Snape, please report to the office, Professor Snape." The annoying secretary's voice ran out through the hall and through classrooms and the teacher's lounge. He silently cursed those students' parents who he knew one child had the courage to report him. He never did anything illegal- no, he just had a bad temper and gave out detentions like it was Christmas time.
Ring. Ring.
"Hello?"
"Is this Mr. Remus Lupin?"
"Yes, did something happen?" He was panicking by now.
"We need you to come to the office. I know you're off duty, but it is important."
"What? Did something happen to Harry?"
"I'm afraid I can't tell, just hurry over."
"I will."
Missing: 2 and a half hours
Harry rested his head on his knees, now tears were silently streaming down his face, something that he never wanted to do again. The last time he ever cried was when his mother died.
BANG!
The door flew open and Professor Snape rushed in, cursing.
Harry quickly wiped off all his tears.
"Potter? What are you doing here?" he demanded harshly.
"Ah, Severus, please come in my office." Snape looked at Harry one last time before he was rushed into Headmaster Dumbledore's office.
"MISSING?"
Harry's water works started up again.
BANG!
Remus Lupin cam running in the office, looking scared. He spotted Harry and rushed over to him.
"Harry, are you okay? Why are you crying? Did something happen?"
"Remus, please come here." Dumbledore was done talking to Snape.
Remus glared. "No, there is something obviously happening to Harry. Please tell me. He hasn't cried since Lil-just tell me."
The headmaster sighed. "Sirius Black has vanish without a trace. He was missing for 3 hours already. We need your help."
Remus gaped. "Where is James?"
The Headmaster shook his head. "Arriving, I daresay."
Remus nodded, then eyed Snape. "Why is he here?" he said, eyeing Snape in utter distrust.
Snape glowered. "I am here because the Headmaster called for me. Why are you here? Wanted to see if you could get some money?" he sneered.
Remus flushed. He was a kind hearted soul, but poorer than bones, but Harry didn't mind.
"Stuff it Snape! You are obviously gleeful that Sirius has.vanished. Go jump off a cliff!" Harry shouted, jumping to his feet.
The headmaster put a reassuring hand o his shoulder. "Now Harry, please settle down, I know this is hard for-"
BANG!
James Potter came rushing in the office.
"Is Harry all right?" he panted.
"Dad!" Harry jumped on his father, burying his head in James' suit.
James patted his son's hair, wanting to do more. He hugged his son, whispering, "It's all right, love. We'll find Sirius."
Harry looked up to him, his eyes full of unshed tears. "What if we can never find him? I just can not loose him!"
James looked at Remus for support.
Remus came over, putting another hand on Harry's free shoulder. "Don't think about that. We will find him, no matter how long it takes us."
Harry tried to smile. "Thanks Remus."
"Now Remus, will you ride with us to the station?" James asked.
...........
TBC
Yes, I'm a cheapskate. So, anyone gonna review? Yes, I spoke of this one in my Snarry fic, which hopefully, I'll have done soon.....
By Snarry
Notes: Yes, it took forever. This chapter is for SEP! SEP is a great writer and SEP is a nice review so she made me get off my lazy arse! Go SEP! How many times have I said SEP? *shrugs* Oh well, SEP needs to be mentioned.
5. The Trouble with Friends
"Harry, where have you been?" Hermione said just as I sat down at the House table.
I shrug. "I just wanted to spend time with Sirius."
She looks relieved. "Good. Now Harry James Potter, never do that again!" She was in tears now. "You can't do that! Do you know how long I was out looking for you?"
I cringed. "I'm so sorry. I just wanted to spend time with him."
"Ok, please don't do that again."
I nodded. "I have to go."
"But Harry, you haven't ate breakfast yet!"
"I had some with Sirius earlier this morning," I lied.
She watched me go.
I ran into the prefect's bathroom. The password hasn't changed for 3 years.
I pulled out my razor I stole from Sirius. God, I try, really I do.
I watch the blood ooze out from my wrist. Somehow it was calming or maybe I'm getting drowsy from the blood loss.
I'm crying. I'm crying because I let him down. I love him and that's why I cut. It's always for him. I'm not cutting because I'm angry or sad, not now anyway, but I do it out of habit now. Cutting is a part of me as feet are to you. I don't cut deep. I don't want to die! I can't stop!
Sirius is going to hate me. I hate myself for that. I love him and I can't stop. I have to though; I have to stop for him.
And I faint.
6. Stop
I open my eyes to see white. I know where I am.
"Harry dear, you're up!" Sometimes I wonder when I'm going to get my own bed in the hospital wing.
I look around. Sirius is sleeping in a chair by my bed. Guilt is rising.
He jumps awake and pulls me into a loving, yet firm, hug that I do not deserve.
"Oh Harry, I thought I lost you," He said.
He cups my face and I look into his pale blue eyes, I know he has been crying. Am I the only one that can make a proud man cry?
"I'm sorry," I said as he pulled me into his lap and gently rocks me. I look at my wrist and see that they are bandaged.
We have an audience. Poppy looks at us and clicks her tongue. She knows. And she will tell on us. She'll tell the ministry and they'll take away my lover.
I think Sirius saw me looking at Poppy and he answers my question. "Poppy knows. Don't worry, she understands that we are soul mates."
And to prove his point, he kisses me, long and sweet. He gently runs his tongue on my gums. It's pure bliss. Our arms warp around each other and then a loud cough brings us to the world.
Snape. He just had to make this precious moment end.
I blush like I've never blushed before. Sirius glares, but not like he used to. "What do you want, Snape?"
^o^o^o^o^o^
Oh yes, very short, but I had to have a cliffie. *bows* I'm terribly sorry, Master Elf, but does anyone want a Severus/Harry/Sirius or should it stick with Sirius/Harry?
Hn. I have the next part almost done.
But, here's something that is a little extra for the people who review.. Or at least read. It's a very AU pottercest. It's JamesxHarry. Boy, I'm going to hell.
A Father's Love
By Snarry
Rating: R
Warning: Slash no spoilers, AU and incest
Summary: I am a typical 16-year old boy, yet I have a dark secret. I'm in love, but in love with Him. I opened my eyes, looking into James Potter's hazel ones. God, how can I be in love with my own father?
1. A Father's Love and Confusion
We were lying on the couch. God, I can smell his hair. Mum won't be home until dawn.
'Dad?'
'Yes, love?' God, does he know what he is doing to me?
'It's nothing.' I said quickly. What I was going to ask him would make him disgusted, I know.
He smiled, 'Son, you can tell me anything.'
I try not to cringe when he calls me 'son'.
I take a deep breath. 'Would you hate me if-if I was. gay?' I scooted away from him, closing my eyes.
'No! Why would I hate you?' He asked, sounding hurt.
I hesitate. 'Well, um, you're straight.'
'Harry, I my still be with your mum, but that does not make me 100% straight.'
I opened my eyes, looking into James Potter's hazel ones. God, how can I be in love with my own father?
He suddenly wrapped his arms around me. I try my best not to melt in his arms, but I can't help it. Somehow, this is meant to be, even if it illegal.
'Harry, I-I don't know how to say this but, um, I have feelings towards you that are really..' He breaks off, untangling his arms from my waist.
I think I know what he means. I quickly press my lips against his. He stiffens at first the timidly runs his tongue across the top of my lip. He re-wraps his arms around me. I tangle my fingers in hair that is so like mine. I can't help it.
He pulls his lips from mine; I am thinking the worst.
I think he saw my hurt eyes, but that I will never know.
'Harry, this is happening too fast. Don't worry, I'm not going to ah, stand you up or anything, but Lily will be home soon.'
'I-I love you.' I murmur.
He smiles, 'I love you too.'
*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&
We were still on the couch when mum came home, but we were not in an intimate position, now.
We were watching the telly, a muggle thing that mum bought us.
She looked hassled. 'Honey, I need to talk to you,' she said to my love.
He kissed the top of my head, so innocently. She never suspected a thing.
And they closed the door to their bedroom and I feel a surge of jealousy. I can't believe I'm mad with my mother, after all they are married.
They talk for a long time, so long in fact that I fell asleep.
His yelling woke me up.
'What do you mean? How could you leave me for LUPIN?'
I face the back off the couch, tears falling freely. He never wanted me.
'James, I just think that we should get a divorce.'
His yelling again muffles my cries.
'Fine, leave, Lily! Just think of the family that you are ruining! How could you leave me for one of my best friends?'
I ran to my room, they do not notice my tear-stained face or me.
He never wanted me.
That thought raced through my head as I grabbed my broom and flew out the window. Sirius will help me.
2. A Godfather and His Secret
I knocked on his door to his flat.
The one person that I would never see here opened the door.
Snape.
'Potter, what do you want?'
Gods, I am at my own godfather's house and he can not keep in mind that.
I glare at him, but it doesn't effect him. I think it is the tearstains.
'I need to speak to Sirius,' I grind out between clenched teeth.
'Wait here, I'll get him.'
Does he know how cold it is? It's in the middle of December and in England! I'm only in Pyjamas!
When Sirius got to the door, I'm blue and my glasses are frosted and my teeth are chattering.
'What's up kiddo?' He smiles as if I'm not here, getting frostbite because Snape is here and he has no manners.
'N-nothing,' I say, teeth chattering.
He looks at me as if I crawled out of nowhere. My soul-racking cough brings him into a right state of mind.
'Who made you stay out here?' he asks as he showed me into his sitting room.
'Snape,' I manage to cough out.
'Se-Snape?' he asked, looking puzzled.
I nod, catching his mistake. 'You know, the greasy git with no manners? The one who let me get frostbite?' I know that if he is not 'involved' with Snape, Severus Snape is a dead man.
'Sirius! Mum-she-she is leaving Dad!'
Sirius jumped up and pushed my on a couch. He waved his wand and a blanket flew out of his bedroom and on to my lap.
He looked at me with his big blue eyes. 'What do you mean?'
I look down. 'I heard them fighting. Mum said that she doesn't live Dad and she is going to file a divorce and go with Lupin.' I said in a rush.
He swore. 'I can't believe what Lupin did! He broke up your family.'
I nodded. 'Sirius, can I stay with you?'
I thought it over. 'But what about James?'
I bit my lip. 'He doesn't need me. What he needs is a vacation or something! God, you should have heard his yelling!'
Sirius let out his bark-like laugh, but laughter was missing in his eyes. 'You can stay in the extra bedroom across mine.'
*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&
It's horribly OOC, but hey, I can dream, right? Here's something for all you non-cesters.
Without a Trace
((((((())))))))))))))))((((((((((((())))))))))
Missing: 2 hours
"What do you mean? Siri just can't be gone!" a young man yelled at his Headmaster and close friend of the Potters.
The old man sighed. "I'm sorry Harry, but your father will be here soon."
James Potter was having a bad day. This is the first day he has been without his Lily. She died just yesterday and they were going to go to her funeral in three days, but his best friend was kidnapped. He knew that this would hurt his son; Harry loved Sirius with all his heart-maybe too much, but Sirius was his role model. James was working all the time and he had no time for his teen-aged son. Harry had almost grown up with Sirius Black. He had received a ransom note at work for his best friend. He called the school because he knew that Harry would be heart broken if he waited the last minute. He couldn't loose his son anymore than he already had.
Harry hugged his knees to his chest. He never allowed the tears to fall- especially when he was sitting on a hard plastic chair in the office. He knew that people who knew Sirius would be swarming in. Like his Uncle Remus who taught fencing after school. He knew that Remus liked his godfather a little too much and would be heart broken. And Professor Snape who taught Chemistry would arrive. He knew the man hated his father and Sirius, but who would show up to gloat about Siri's death.
"Professor Snape, please report to the office, Professor Snape." The annoying secretary's voice ran out through the hall and through classrooms and the teacher's lounge. He silently cursed those students' parents who he knew one child had the courage to report him. He never did anything illegal- no, he just had a bad temper and gave out detentions like it was Christmas time.
Ring. Ring.
"Hello?"
"Is this Mr. Remus Lupin?"
"Yes, did something happen?" He was panicking by now.
"We need you to come to the office. I know you're off duty, but it is important."
"What? Did something happen to Harry?"
"I'm afraid I can't tell, just hurry over."
"I will."
Missing: 2 and a half hours
Harry rested his head on his knees, now tears were silently streaming down his face, something that he never wanted to do again. The last time he ever cried was when his mother died.
BANG!
The door flew open and Professor Snape rushed in, cursing.
Harry quickly wiped off all his tears.
"Potter? What are you doing here?" he demanded harshly.
"Ah, Severus, please come in my office." Snape looked at Harry one last time before he was rushed into Headmaster Dumbledore's office.
"MISSING?"
Harry's water works started up again.
BANG!
Remus Lupin cam running in the office, looking scared. He spotted Harry and rushed over to him.
"Harry, are you okay? Why are you crying? Did something happen?"
"Remus, please come here." Dumbledore was done talking to Snape.
Remus glared. "No, there is something obviously happening to Harry. Please tell me. He hasn't cried since Lil-just tell me."
The headmaster sighed. "Sirius Black has vanish without a trace. He was missing for 3 hours already. We need your help."
Remus gaped. "Where is James?"
The Headmaster shook his head. "Arriving, I daresay."
Remus nodded, then eyed Snape. "Why is he here?" he said, eyeing Snape in utter distrust.
Snape glowered. "I am here because the Headmaster called for me. Why are you here? Wanted to see if you could get some money?" he sneered.
Remus flushed. He was a kind hearted soul, but poorer than bones, but Harry didn't mind.
"Stuff it Snape! You are obviously gleeful that Sirius has.vanished. Go jump off a cliff!" Harry shouted, jumping to his feet.
The headmaster put a reassuring hand o his shoulder. "Now Harry, please settle down, I know this is hard for-"
BANG!
James Potter came rushing in the office.
"Is Harry all right?" he panted.
"Dad!" Harry jumped on his father, burying his head in James' suit.
James patted his son's hair, wanting to do more. He hugged his son, whispering, "It's all right, love. We'll find Sirius."
Harry looked up to him, his eyes full of unshed tears. "What if we can never find him? I just can not loose him!"
James looked at Remus for support.
Remus came over, putting another hand on Harry's free shoulder. "Don't think about that. We will find him, no matter how long it takes us."
Harry tried to smile. "Thanks Remus."
"Now Remus, will you ride with us to the station?" James asked.
...........
TBC
Yes, I'm a cheapskate. So, anyone gonna review? Yes, I spoke of this one in my Snarry fic, which hopefully, I'll have done soon.....