CHRISTMAS-TIME IN MORDOR
To the tune of Weird Al's "Christmas at Ground Zero" (A parody of a Weird Al song. . .? The horror! ~.^)

It's Christmas-time in Mordor,
The day is near for sure,
The season is jolly,
So we're hanging the holly
On the gates of Barad-dur

It's Christmas-time in Mordor,
It's time to trim the tree,
Orc girls and boys
Make such a noise
You can hear them out in Bree

They know how to party in the Shire
And Mirkwood sure looks good in snow
But if you like an evil kinda shindig
Then there is just one place to go:

It's Christmas-time in Mordor,
There's black smoke in the sky,
And it's even neater
'Cause our disembodied leader's
Got a wreath around his Eye

You might want a Palantiri snowglobe
Or Orc-draught with which to celebrate
But if you ask Santa for the One Ring
You just may find there's Nazgul in your fate

It's Christmas-time in Mordor,
And when the party is complete
I'll go out with you
And try to catch a few
Of those guys with hairy feet

It's Christmas-time in Mordor,
The mountain's 'bout to blow
I'll dodge the lava
With my Urak-Hai lover
Underneath the mistletoe

It's Christmas-time in Mordor,
Now Sauron's on his way
Through the smoke and gloom,
We'll go to Mt. Doom
For this jolly holiday