(We see Juliano, Sam, and Davis sitting on a beautiful couch. This couch is absoloutly gorgeuos, if a little too small for the three occupants. They keep bumping each other with their elbows, and the popcorn is spilt on the floor in front of them. All have identical looks of horror and awe on their faces.)
We are in the middle of the world's weirdest orgy. The three couples don't know we've started the notes yet. Remy and Rogue have been at it for the longest, but they aren't the worst. Kitty and Piotr are the worst.
(Davis nods)
Davis-she screams. Loud. It's. . .frightening.
And John is with the soon to be announced father. We are happy to announce it is neither Remy or Piotr. At least. . .we assume.
(Sam and Davis shudder)
So, I think I should start this fic, so as not to give away the baby's daddy's identity. We need a theme song for this fic. Any ideas you two?
Davis-I can't think. Kitty and Piotr are starting again.
Well we can't have that. AUTHOR'S NOTES NOW!
(Kitty and Piotr's corner is full of grumbling and the sound of people getting dressed. Rogue and Remy's is full of full out bitching, and the sounds of two people having some weird form of foreplay while getting dressed.)
(Sam falls over, aparently too shocked for words. The couch morphs into two chairs and a bed for Sam.)
Sam. Sam! SAM!
(Sam jolts up.)
Sam-Make it stop. Please.
Listen, it's stopped.
(The two couple slink out of the shadows.)
Now that you're all up, let's get started on the fic shall we? I just wanted you four to be here for the disclaimer.
Kitty-I will kill Marvel for letting you use us like this. And for killing Piotr. And Illiyana. And not hookin' me up with Kurt after Piotr died. And the other crimes against humanity they have commited.
The veiws expressed by this college girl are only mainly the opinion of the author. Crimes against humanity seemed strong at first, but then I thought of everything recently, which will not be named, I see that perhaps it's not all that strong. Oh,a nd sorry th ewrong chapter uploaded last time. Heh, my bad.
(nods from all present)
But that's neither here or there. On with the fic!
***
John is sitting in Hank's lab. Hank has taken a blood sample, and is looking at the results. When the good doctor said he may be able to tell the father of the baby John had jumped at the chance.
"Well, John, I'm not sure what to tell you. I know the baby's other parent, but. . .I'm disturbed. I'm sorry, that was very unprofesional, but it's the truth. The baby's father is. . .Jean." (DN: You didn't! SN: Ha!)
John nodded and hopped out of the chair he was in. "Okay, so I'm going to tell Jean she's a daddy. Thanks for clearing that up. Now what should I do to keep the baby healthy?"
"Go to a gynecologist. I'm not repared to handle this sort of thing. I'm not really good at maternity. . .paternty? I'm not good at pregnancy health care." Hank said, deciding he definitly deserved a vacation after this appointment. And if the professor refused to compy Hank might be forced to set the wastebasket in the profesor's office on fire.
"Okay. Thanks for the heads up." John said, chirpily walking out of Hank's lab, really glad he got to expose Jean for the transvestite she was.
***
(All are staring forward with the same expression Sam, Julinao, and Davis had earlier. All are sitting on top of a really long picnic table. Jean is crying.)
Jean-WHY? I didn't mean to use your toothbrush! It was just there. *continues sobbing*
Rogue-Ah am really disturbed. Wow. You are one f'ed up little boy.
(Juliano grins)
I think I reached new lows with that one. Good choice John.
John-*Smiling evily* Thank you Juliano. I would like to thank you for making such perfect revenge.
Remy-Y' know what. I t'ink we should jes' forget dat happened f'r now.
Rogue-Yeah. Definitly.
Kitty-Yano, Trask doesn't seem like such a crazy guy anymore.
(author pouts) I'm not trying to kill anyone in the name of religion.
Sam-okay, let's just all forget that happened for now. Any popcorn left Davy?
Davis-(looking in the bowl) Nope. Hey, what's this? (pokes something in the bottom of the bowl) Gross.
(thing in the bottom of the bowl gets bigger.)
Sam-Um, Juliano. . .
I don't know, this is all off the cuff. Hey, Davy. . .poke it again.
(Davis does so, and is sucked into the bowl.)
Rogue-Damn.
Kitty-Omigod!
Peter-. . .
Sam-You killed Davis!
John-You bastard!
This could only be one evil villain-
Remy-Who? Not Magneto's style, not Mystique's either, not to meniton why would either of them want the whiney ass aussie-
John-Hey!
Remy-(ignoring John) I can't think of anyone with both the ability and motivation to do somet'in' like dis.
Sam-(whispering to the author) you for got his accent for a while there.
(whispering to Sam) Shut up Sam. (loudly and very dramatic) No, you have not met this villain. For it is. . . the Moderator (dun dun dun)
(Strange looks abound)
The person responsible for most censoring on the internet. Normally on the side of good, the moderator can be unduly swayed by the foul temptress, Power. Aided by Time Shortage, Power weilds control over the hapless Moderator. We must right this wrong!
John-(jumps up) Here here!
Sam-This is retarded.
You've been taken control of too, haven't you?
(all except John and Sam, who the author has in a head lock back away, suddenly remembering places thay're supposed to be.)
Come John, we'll bring the doubter who doesn't know the Moderator's power and protect our compadre!
(John jumps in the portal. Sam is thrown in by the author, who jupms after posing dramatically.)
We are in the middle of the world's weirdest orgy. The three couples don't know we've started the notes yet. Remy and Rogue have been at it for the longest, but they aren't the worst. Kitty and Piotr are the worst.
(Davis nods)
Davis-she screams. Loud. It's. . .frightening.
And John is with the soon to be announced father. We are happy to announce it is neither Remy or Piotr. At least. . .we assume.
(Sam and Davis shudder)
So, I think I should start this fic, so as not to give away the baby's daddy's identity. We need a theme song for this fic. Any ideas you two?
Davis-I can't think. Kitty and Piotr are starting again.
Well we can't have that. AUTHOR'S NOTES NOW!
(Kitty and Piotr's corner is full of grumbling and the sound of people getting dressed. Rogue and Remy's is full of full out bitching, and the sounds of two people having some weird form of foreplay while getting dressed.)
(Sam falls over, aparently too shocked for words. The couch morphs into two chairs and a bed for Sam.)
Sam. Sam! SAM!
(Sam jolts up.)
Sam-Make it stop. Please.
Listen, it's stopped.
(The two couple slink out of the shadows.)
Now that you're all up, let's get started on the fic shall we? I just wanted you four to be here for the disclaimer.
Kitty-I will kill Marvel for letting you use us like this. And for killing Piotr. And Illiyana. And not hookin' me up with Kurt after Piotr died. And the other crimes against humanity they have commited.
The veiws expressed by this college girl are only mainly the opinion of the author. Crimes against humanity seemed strong at first, but then I thought of everything recently, which will not be named, I see that perhaps it's not all that strong. Oh,a nd sorry th ewrong chapter uploaded last time. Heh, my bad.
(nods from all present)
But that's neither here or there. On with the fic!
***
John is sitting in Hank's lab. Hank has taken a blood sample, and is looking at the results. When the good doctor said he may be able to tell the father of the baby John had jumped at the chance.
"Well, John, I'm not sure what to tell you. I know the baby's other parent, but. . .I'm disturbed. I'm sorry, that was very unprofesional, but it's the truth. The baby's father is. . .Jean." (DN: You didn't! SN: Ha!)
John nodded and hopped out of the chair he was in. "Okay, so I'm going to tell Jean she's a daddy. Thanks for clearing that up. Now what should I do to keep the baby healthy?"
"Go to a gynecologist. I'm not repared to handle this sort of thing. I'm not really good at maternity. . .paternty? I'm not good at pregnancy health care." Hank said, deciding he definitly deserved a vacation after this appointment. And if the professor refused to compy Hank might be forced to set the wastebasket in the profesor's office on fire.
"Okay. Thanks for the heads up." John said, chirpily walking out of Hank's lab, really glad he got to expose Jean for the transvestite she was.
***
(All are staring forward with the same expression Sam, Julinao, and Davis had earlier. All are sitting on top of a really long picnic table. Jean is crying.)
Jean-WHY? I didn't mean to use your toothbrush! It was just there. *continues sobbing*
Rogue-Ah am really disturbed. Wow. You are one f'ed up little boy.
(Juliano grins)
I think I reached new lows with that one. Good choice John.
John-*Smiling evily* Thank you Juliano. I would like to thank you for making such perfect revenge.
Remy-Y' know what. I t'ink we should jes' forget dat happened f'r now.
Rogue-Yeah. Definitly.
Kitty-Yano, Trask doesn't seem like such a crazy guy anymore.
(author pouts) I'm not trying to kill anyone in the name of religion.
Sam-okay, let's just all forget that happened for now. Any popcorn left Davy?
Davis-(looking in the bowl) Nope. Hey, what's this? (pokes something in the bottom of the bowl) Gross.
(thing in the bottom of the bowl gets bigger.)
Sam-Um, Juliano. . .
I don't know, this is all off the cuff. Hey, Davy. . .poke it again.
(Davis does so, and is sucked into the bowl.)
Rogue-Damn.
Kitty-Omigod!
Peter-. . .
Sam-You killed Davis!
John-You bastard!
This could only be one evil villain-
Remy-Who? Not Magneto's style, not Mystique's either, not to meniton why would either of them want the whiney ass aussie-
John-Hey!
Remy-(ignoring John) I can't think of anyone with both the ability and motivation to do somet'in' like dis.
Sam-(whispering to the author) you for got his accent for a while there.
(whispering to Sam) Shut up Sam. (loudly and very dramatic) No, you have not met this villain. For it is. . . the Moderator (dun dun dun)
(Strange looks abound)
The person responsible for most censoring on the internet. Normally on the side of good, the moderator can be unduly swayed by the foul temptress, Power. Aided by Time Shortage, Power weilds control over the hapless Moderator. We must right this wrong!
John-(jumps up) Here here!
Sam-This is retarded.
You've been taken control of too, haven't you?
(all except John and Sam, who the author has in a head lock back away, suddenly remembering places thay're supposed to be.)
Come John, we'll bring the doubter who doesn't know the Moderator's power and protect our compadre!
(John jumps in the portal. Sam is thrown in by the author, who jupms after posing dramatically.)