Can We Call You Mark?

Summary: Despite the fact that this is an AU, some things never change. Seto Kaiba is still hot. He's still rich. He's still cool and composed. But he's about to be harassed… ^_^ [Téa-Seto] [cowritten with Dragon's 1 Girl] [one-shot]

Disclaimer: We don't own Yu-Gi-Oh. We do, however, own our lives. Read the author's notes and see why it's important for us to point that out…

Notes:

DSF: First off, this story is completely, 100% AU. Téa and Serenity have never even seen Seto before. Second, the reason this is AU is because it's based on our (D1G and my) lives! Téa has my role, and Serenity has D1G's role, but we will not be inflicting our personalities onto them. That bugs me, so despite the fact that this is AU the characters will be very much in character. Any differences are due to the fact that they've grown up under far less stressful conditions.

Other than the character personalities and names, we didn't change many details from the real incident. ^_^ But the story stops being based on reality once we reach the line "Can we call you Mark?", which coincidentally doubles as the title. Why? Because we haven't gotten there yet in real life, for one, and because I have absolutely no interest in ever dating the guy. X.x And as you should know, this will be a Seto/Téa romance.

D1G: ::shifty eyes:: Okay, so I'm the one who thinks the guy is hot. But I wouldn't date him either; he's too old. And as for why the roles are assigned the way they are then, well, it was just more convenient.

And for those of you shaky on your mythology, Aphrodite was the Greek goddess of love and beauty.

DSF: One last thing: we made up the whole "legend of Mark Peters" drama for the most part. In real life, it was Peter Pan. ^_^ Why did we use the name 'Mark Peters?' 'Peter' from Peter Pan, of course, and 'Mark' was the guy's real name.

So happy reading, please leave us a review regardless of your opinion (we don't care, just go easy on the flames @.@), and remember it's an AU! ^_^ (And do try and forget it's reality-based; we only chose to do it because it made the plot so much easier to outline)

Can We Call You Mark?

*~*~*

"I'll be right back," Serenity chirped, picking up the coffeepot. "I just need to make this; we're almost out of regular coffee."

Téa waved at her absently, preoccupied with cleaning the counter. A dozen coffeepots stood in gleaming rows, courtesy of her handiwork.

As Serenity trotted off to the kitchens to brew the last few pots, Téa tossed the rag in the sink. The coffee station was almost perfect now; all she needed to do was refill the sugar basket.

She reached for the key in her uniform pocket, reflecting on how the ugly smock was the one downside to volunteering at the Domino Hospital. Then with a giggle, she chided her own shallow thoughts. The uniform wasn't that bad, really, and she enjoyed working the 'Coffee Cart' three hours every Friday night with her best friend, Serenity Wheeler. And stationed in the lobby of the hospital, it was never a boring place.

She fished the small packets of sugar out, reminding herself not to let Serenity near it. Her petite friend had a weakness for sugar and, well… she got hyper fast.

Her hand was poised over the sugar basket, when her fist opened on its own. Ignoring the sugar that missed the basket, she gaped. The tall brunette with piercing eyes strode by. His white trenchcoat billowed importantly behind him and he ignored her gaze. "Mark…" she whispered, letting a smile curve onto her face.

*~*~*

Serenity dragged the now-heavy coffeepots back to the Coffee Cart only to be confronted by a beaming Téa. "It's Mark," she intoned dramatically.

"What?" Serenity asked, letting the coffeepot set down heavily on the cart. "Done."

"Mark Peters is here," Téa said, grinning.

Serenity quirked an eyebrow as she dragged a tall chair over to wait on the customers. "Mark Peters? The guy from the legend?"

Téa rolled her eyes. "Yes, the Mark Peters from 'The Legend of Mark Peters.' How'd you jump to that conclusion, Seren?"

Serenity grinned. "Well, whatever. What do you mean, he's here? You do know that isn't real, right?"

Téa snorted. "Well, okay, but seriously- there's this guy who looks just like how I picture Mark Peters! Like… just like him! Like… he is him!"

"Have you been at the sugar?" Serenity asked suspiciously. "You know that's my job."

Téa grinned cheekily. "Okay, I'll calm down. But the guy looks just like Mark Peters."

"We've been here before," Serenity sighed. "Okay, so he looks like him. I wonder if he acts like him… it'd be funny if he really did have an underground fortress."

"Where he trains orphaned kids to speak with the trees?" Téa supplied the rest of the legend, grinning again. "I wish."

"I wonder if…" Serenity began, but her voice trailed off. "Oh my gosh. You were so right."

Téa looked up to see 'Mark' striding towards them, trenchcoat once again billowing imperiously. Without thinking, she blurted out "Mark!"

The man slowed a little and gave her the briefest of glances, but quickly looked away.

When he was gone, Téa and Serenity collapsed in a fit of giggles. "Mark…" Serenity squeaked. "He is Mark Peters!"

"I know," Téa laughed, wiping a tear from her eye. "Oh… that was funny. I wonder if he knows we called him Mark?"

*~*~*

Serenity's brother, Joey, picked them up and drove them home from the hospital. Serenity and Téa giggled in the backseat about Mark, pausing in their laughter long enough to explain to Joey what had happened.

His only reaction was to roll his eyes. Teenage girls… well, okay, so he liked some of them. But that didn't mean he'd ever understand them.

*~*~*

For the next few weeks, the routine was the same. Téa figured out that Mark walked by every day at about 3:15, so she and Serenity were always on the watch. In addition, he seemed to walk by more and more often at the weeks wore on. She would whisper-shout "Mark!" every time he walked by. Mark never said anything about it, but she and Serenity were sure he knew.

"Maybe his name really is Mark," Serenity speculated one week.

Téa's eyes grew wide. "Wow, that'd be ironic," she said. "Not to mention we'd really look like idiots."

"We'd look like stalkers," Serenity grumbled. "I bet his name really is Mark, and the gods are trying to spite us."

Her curiosity piqued, Téa smiled mischievously. "I know how we can find out…" she said in a sing-song voice.

*~*~*

"Uhm, excuse me? Sir?"

Seto stopped his long strides and turned to face the girl. The small redhead blushed a furious red, matching her hair but clashing with her maroon smock. "Can I ask you a question? What's your name?"

He raised an eyebrow. Without thinking, he replied "Seto" smoothly; he was used to rattling mindless facts off, due to the fact that he worked with mindless people. When he realized what he'd said, his brow furrowed, but he looked at her to study her reaction.

She stood there, bright red and looking lost. Off to the right, he heard a muffled giggle. He glanced over out of the corner of his eye in time to see a tall brunette duck down behind the Coffee Cart. Even if he hadn't seen her duck down, the top of her head stuck up.

He didn't have time for this foolishness! The redhead had scurried away to behind the Coffee Cart with her little friend. Yes, the one hiding like a two-year old and who insisted on calling him Mark. For whatever reason, he didn't know, but it was ridiculous. He stormed down the hall, fuming.

*~*~*

"Why did you hide?" Serenity cried in indignation. "It's practically like deserting me."

"It was too funny!" Téa exclaimed. "Besides… it just seemed the right thing to do at the time."

Serenity gave a groan and slumped into her chair. Téa eyed her critically. "I didn't know human skin could reach that shade," she commented, folding her arms and nodding sagely. The comment earned her a glare and Serenity reached automatically into her purse for some cover-up. Téa continued musing aloud, "I wonder if Seto would let us call him Mark anyway."

"It's your turn to ask," Serenity said immediately.

"What?" Téa asked, startled. "I didn't say I wanted to ask."

"I did," she said decisively, snapping her make-up case closed. She grinned at Téa, her blush no longer visible. "Come on, where's your sense of adventure?"

"Fine," Téa grumbled, feeling an odd sensation of excitement rising in her stomach. "Next time we see him."

*~*~* Two weeks later:

"He's avoiding us!" Serenity cried in frustration.

"He doesn't love us anymore," Téa said seriously, pretending to wipe a tear from her eye. Serenity shot her a look and began to laugh.

"I'll go make the coffee," Serenity said reluctantly, rising to grab the coffeepot. "We ran out of Hazelnut." She trudged away.

And of course, as soon as Serenity was out of sight, Seto/Mark strode down the hallway. Téa was busy refilling the cream, and didn't see him until he was past her. She stared after him in disbelief, wanting to run after him, but of course Serenity was gone and if Téa left, there would be no one to watch over the coffee or the money. Great, just great!

*~*~*

It was another two weeks before they saw Seto/Mark again. Téa and Serenity were in the middle of a heated debate over their favorite animes, when he walked briskly down the hall.

"Mark!" Téa blurted, then clapped her hand over her mouth. It was becoming second nature to her… and therefore not good. What a habit to get into…

"Go!" Serenity hissed, giving her a small shove in the back. Téa jumped out of her chair, ignoring the slight twist in her ankle. That's what happens when you wear platform shoes while chasing Mark… Seto down the hall.

And chase him she had to; his strides were just too darn long! "Mark!" she cried, dashing ahead. "I mean, Seto!"

He definitely flinched; but kept on walking. Without stopping to consider that this probably meant he really didn't want to talk to her, Téa reached out a slender hand and touched his shoulder. He whipped around and fixed her with an icy glare, letting his eyes flicker to her badge long enough to read her name.

Tea? What kind of name was that?

Téa was aware that he was looking, puzzled, at her badge, and with a flush realized that since it was unaccented, she looked pretty strange. This thought caused her to become even less articulate than usual, and instead of reciting the speech she and Serenity had come up with, she asked lamely "Can we call you Mark?"

Seto just stared at her. He debated giving her a flat 'no,' but every time he opened his mouth his younger brother's disapproving eyes flashed in front of his face. But there was no way, N-O W-A-Y he was giving the airheads permission to call him Mark.

He suddenly became aware that he and the girl (her name couldn't be tea) had been standing awkwardly for quite a while. He fixed her with a glare and stormed away; that should be sufficient.

*~*~*

"Eep," Téa uttered as Seto/Mark stormed away. She turned slowly, her face bright red, to find the girl who worked at the Information Booth and a security guard staring at her in amusement.

"What was that?" the security guard asked, raising his eyebrows. He was a tough guy named Tristan Taylor, as Serenity had found out. The two of them enjoyed harassing each other.

"Um… nothing?" Téa tried, scurrying back to the Coffee Cart. Serenity was waiting, torn between being upset and laughing. She settled for chewing on a straw and remarking absently that he had never said they couldn't call him Mark.

The blonde receptionist laughed, shrugging her shoulders. The security guard shrugged. "I just hope you know who that was," Tristan remarked.

"It was Seto," Serenity said firmly, nodding her head.

Tristan rolled his eyes. "So do you know who Seto is?"

"Really hot," Téa murmured, earning her a shocked look from Serenity.

"Doctor Strong, report to the West Wing. Doctor Strong, West Wing."

Grateful for some action, Tristan jumped up. "Catch you around, Mai," he told the blonde girl. "Stay out of trouble, you two," he addressed Téa and Serenity.

"I think they need a more subtle 'warning system,'" Téa said, shaking her head. "If people even know the littlest about the way the hospital works, they should know that Doctor Strong is really the code for 'we need strong security guards!' It's too easy to figure out."

"You called Mark hot," Serenity said in a singsong voice.

Téa scowled. "Fine, disregard everything else I say."

"He is pretty good-looking," Serenity said thoughtfully. "Well, you might as well go for it. You're already harassing him enough, what's a bit more stalking?"

"Serenity!" Téa cried, aghast, but laughing anyway.

*~*~* Two more weeks later:

Seto wasn't often seen in a good mood, but he stormed into the conference room in a downright foul one. The ditzy volunteers were still calling him Mark every time he walked by.

Maybe he should just have them removed from his facility. But somehow, the thought didn't seem appealing. He couldn't put his finger on it… something about the girls…

Well, the younger one, the redhead, reminded him of Mokuba. Not to say that Mokuba looked like a girl, but they both had the puppy-dog watery eyes going. The same sweet nature with the same evil tendencies.

And the brunette reminded him of someone too. Maybe… the girl of his dreams?

Seto wasn't one to go crazy for girls; in truth, he barely noticed them, but he allowed this thought to be admitted in the safety of his own mind.

He mulled the notion over for most of the meeting. Mokuba had often said he needed a girlfriend, but he had never liked the thought. However, this brunette was staying in his mind for some reason. Sure, she was pretty, but she was also bright and perky. And Seto really thought he could get used to her eternal happiness. Despite what some people thought, he enjoyed spending time around gleeful people. Take Mokuba, for example.

The thought did flash that she didn't like him, but simply enjoyed harassing him, but Seto dismissed it. It would be easy enough to find that out.

He got up and left the meeting about five minutes before it ended. Mokuba was supposed to come here, and he'd promised that he'd take his younger brother out for ice cream. People probably weren't happy about his leaving, but they couldn't do anything about it.

As Seto strode down the hallway, a rather demonic idea struck him. Perhaps a cup of coffee was in store…

*~*~*

"Mister Kaiba!" Tristan greeted, tipping his hat. "How are you?"

"Fine, Tristan," Mokuba chirped, stepping in the door. "I'm here to meet my big brother!"

"I think he's in a meeting," Tristan said, "but you can hang here with Mai until he gets out. Hey, Mai! This is Kaiba junior, one of the owners of this hospital."

"You're the co-owner?" Mai asked the small black-haired boy, reaching her hand over the information desk. "Nice to meet you!"

"Well, I've got to go," Tristan said, glancing at his watch, "Just to circle this wing. Be right back."

As Tristan strode away and the boy cheerfully shook Mai's hand, Téa and Serenity looked up from separating change. "He's one of the owners of the hospital?" Téa asked under her breath. "He looks awfully young."

Serenity shrugged. "It's pretty cool. But with the owner here… maybe we should at least try not to make idiots of ourselves." She flashed Téa a wink.

"Let's just hope that Mark doesn't…" Téa's voice trailed off. As she'd begun the sentence, she reflexively looked around, only to see the elevator door sliding open to reveal Mark. "Oh, geez."

Serenity glanced up as well: "Um… let's not harass him this week."

Téa nodded in agreement. "We probably shouldn't be screaming 'Mark, Mark' to a guy named Seto in front of the owner of the hospital."

"Big brother!" aforementioned owner chirped, running to Seto and giving him a giant hug.

"Well," Serenity said, face paling. "We can either run away, hide, or stand here gaping like idiots."

They exchanged looks. "Run away," Téa said, just as Serenity opted for "Hide." Not bothering to listen to what the other said, Téa dropped to all fours and crawled away, and Serenity crouched down behind the Coffee Cart.

"Are we going for ice cream, big brother?" came Mokuba Kaiba's excited voice, so sweet that Serenity couldn't help but giggle.

"Sure, Mokuba," Seto said; Serenity all of a sudden found it hard to think of him as Mark. "Do you mind if I get a cup of coffee first?"

"Oh, no!" Mokuba said cheerfully.

Oh… no… Serenity thought in panic.

Seto approached the Coffee Cart with slow, foreboding steps. Serenity desperately wondered what excuse she could have for hiding behind there, and in a split-second jumped up and gave him a bright yet hopefully casual smile. "Hello there, would you like to buy a cup of coffee?" she recited.

Seto rewarded her with a coolly surveying stare. "Where were you a second ago?"

"I was, uhm," she desperately glanced around, "cleaning the floor?"

He didn't say anything, merely shifted his gaze to the bottle of cleaning fluid, standing prominently on the counter behind her. "Oh, well," she began, "you didn't hear the forecast for earthquakes?" Twice she bobbed her head, then forced herself to stop. "I was waiting for the bottle to fall."

The black-haired boy cocked an eyebrow in confusion, but Seto ignored her insane ranting. With a nervous look on her face, Serenity glanced down the hall. Directly ahead of her was the Psyche Ward. Oh, joy…

"Where's tea?" Seto asked abruptly, placing his hands firmly on the edge of the Coffee Cart and leaned forward, trying to look intimidating. It worked; Serenity was intimidated.

"Um… I'm sorry, but we only serve coffee here," she stammered, taking a discreet step backwards.

Seto inhaled sharply, an annoyed look on his face. "Tea," he said impatiently. At her blank look, he added "The other girl?"

"Oh!" she exclaimed, momentarily forgetting her fear and humiliation in the triumph of understanding. "Téa! With an accent over the 'e'! The accent isn't on her badge… they didn't have that kind of letter in the printing thing."

"Téa," Seto murmured, nodding. "So where is she?"

That was a good question. Serenity glanced over her shoulder, in the general direction she'd seen Téa crawl. After a few seconds of scanning, she saw a corner of a maroon smock sticking out from behind… the fountain. What a brilliant hiding place.

*~*~*

Téa had crawled frantically, fighting back hysterical giggles. The main object in the lobby was the stone fountain, so she ended up behind that. Why she hadn't picked a normal object, like a chair, or something, was beyond her. The water spraying out and getting her wet when it hit stone. Mr Seto (Mark) Kaiba, the apparent owner of the hospital, sure went for a splashy display. No pun intended, of course.

She heard snatches of the conversation between Serenity, Mokuba, and Seto, although why they were talking she had no idea. She wasn't sure what was going on… something about earthquakes? And tea?

Finally, their voices died away. Not wanting to stay crouched behind the fountain, she waited a few seconds, then shot up.

Seto, who had been standing right in front of her, was actually caught off guard by her abrupt movement. He tried to take a step back, but Mokuba had walked right behind him.

"Ah!" Mokuba cried, involuntarily throwing up his hands. Seto spun around, confused… and his long trenchcoat swooped up and caught on the stone figurine.

He sensed himself falling and reached out desperately in an attempt to save face. His hands caught Téa's smock and the two of them went down.

*~*~*

Serenity peeped over the back edge of the Coffee Cart in horror. The whole drama looked like it was happening in slow motion. When the two bodies came in contact with the water and sent out a mini-tidal wave, she ducked down again, hands clamped over her mouth to prevent herself from laughing hysterically. After a few seconds of hearing Téa's heavy breathing – apparently she wasn't the only one close to laughter – she dared to poke her head over the Coffee Cart again. The black-haired boy had backed up, staring in amazement. He twisted his head to see her curious expression. "What do you think is going to happen?" he whispered to her.

"I have no idea," Serenity breathed, eyeing Téa's precarious position on top of Seto's lap. "Will Seto be angry?"

The boy hesitated a second. "I don't know," he said finally.

*~*~*

Seto was completely humiliated. But it was near worth it- he had Téa right where he wanted her.

That would be in an embarrassing position, of course, not necessarily on his lap. Although that was a nice perk…

"Uh… sorry?" The brunette offered lamely, rubbing her elbow where it had collided with the stone fountain.

He placed both his hands on her arms so she couldn't get away. Flushing red, whatever giggles were about to loose dying away, Téa turned to look at him in fear. He grinned almost evilly. "You know… Téa… you remind me of someone."

Her eyebrows raised, silently telling him to go on.

He shifted slightly, moving his hands from her arms to her waist. Seto leaned in close to her ear and murmured, "Do you mind if I call you Aphrodite?"

*~*~*

Tristan strode importantly down the hall, back to where Mai was. As he approached, he saw her half-standing in her chair, looking anxiously at the lobby. A slender hand was clasped to her mouth. He hurried forward and glanced around the corner. The first thing he saw was Mokuba, and he idly wondered why Seto hadn't picked him up yet. Then he noticed that Mokuba was standing next to Serenity, and they were both staring at something in the lobby. He followed their gaze and couldn't help but smile. Awww, how sweet… look at the tough owner now…

*~*~*

Téa was completely floored and entirely unsure what to do. She glanced around nervously, and saw everyone around them surveying the scene anxiously. Apparently they weren't sure whether to move in and risk Seto's wrath. But at the moment, she was in the most danger of that. Or was she? Was he being serious?

He carefully shifted her so she was standing up, and rose beside her. His arms were still on her waist, and she unconsciously burrowed her hands in his soft hair. "Oh," she cried despite herself, "you've got a lump on your head. Did you hit it?"

Seto nodded carelessly, shrugging it off. "I'm okay."

"You're in a hospital," she scolded gently, "you should at least have it looked at."

He smirked at her, but it was a playful smirk. Her eyes began to light up as she realized that his earlier comment hadn't been in jest. "You can call me Aphrodite," she said slowly, her lips curving upwards, "if you let me call you Mark."

"Done," he said, not releasing her but instead pulling her slightly closer. "Now how about we seal that little deal with a kiss? And maybe a date tomorrow night?" he added hesitantly.

Téa felt the warmth bubbling up inside of her. "The date tomorrow sounds perfect," she said breathlessly. "And the kiss… sounds perfect."

Those were almost the last words she said before he dipped his long neck down to bring their lips together. The last word she uttered… was "Mark."

*~*~*

DSF: Eep! Bad ending? Well, remember, that part D1G and I didn't actually experience. o.O Me and Peter… no way, never happening. X.x Also, the fountain in the hospital we work at is set into the wall, you can't hide behind it.

D1G: ::quirks eyebrows at DSF:: And that apparently was their useless fact of the day…

DSF: X.x Okay, so that was pointless to mention. I should stop before I go pointing out the little details I changed.

D1G: ::sighs:: Now, if you remember how we humbly begged for reviews at the beginning of the chapter… here's when you can honor our request! ^_^ If you can't think of anything to say, our fallback is the weather. How is it over there? ~.^

DSF: Here… it's cold. And dark. And very, very cold. And it's SNOWING! ::starts singing and dancing::

D1G: u.u Righty, then, cheers everyone!