(Juliano is sitting next to a very edgy Jean. She is playing with her now very short hair. She is also in a tuxedo.)
Jean-Oh my god. Oh my God. Oh my God.
(Jean gets up to pace. Juliano looks down at him, er, herself. Panther is already running a lint brush over their pant suit.)
I can't believe Scott wanted to be best man.
Panther-(still lint brushing) Killian, honey, go check on John wouldja? Tell Rogue and the boys they need to hurry up if we wanna get to the church on time. *puts the lint brush down* Juliano, I can't believe what you did to Rogue.
(Jean perks up. I shoosh Panther. Stupid blabbermouth other head.)
(Panther glares at me. I meant that in a nice way Panth. You know that.)
(Panther rolls her eyes. Jean starts pacing)
Just relax Jean. This'll go off without a hitch, I promise. I give my sheep's honor.
(The devil. . .er, Killian, comes back with a note. Panther smooths his slightly tossled hair and picks bunny fur off of him. We see his pet bunny Ben is hopping behind him, playing a game boy. Killian hands the note to Panther, gives me a dirty look, and settles into the couch with an anatomy book.)
Panther-John needs our help. Apparently Peter is having a hair situation. Remy's seems to be stuck in his dress zipper.
Peter's or his own?
Panther-(perusing note) Doesn't say. It does say Sam and Davis are on their way to talk Jean down. To the bridesmaids Robin! *sings Batman theme as we run to the adjacent room*
(John is standing in the corner, laughing his arce off. Remy is holding his hair, which has gotten long, since no one here is qualified to give a hair cut. It is indeed stuck in an equally shaggy Peter's dress. The haridresser we hired for the day (Marrow) is sulking and hating life.)
Remy-P'tite, y' wanna, y'know, HELP ME OUT A LIL' HERE! In case y' havent' noticed I seem t' be de comic relife f'r dis section. At least no one's made a Joe Dirt joke yet.
Marrow-(snickering) Sure thing, mulletov cocktail.
(Marrow makes short work of Remy's horrible mullet. He now has what Panther would call his 'why-can't-anyone-figure-out-that-he's-friggin'-hot-lookin'-like-this' Xtreme hair cut. Peter looks at the hair stuck in his dress with disgust. It magically disappears. He gives me a grateful look.)
Peter-I believe it is my turn for a hair cut.
(Peter looks like he dyed cousin It and stuck It on his head. Marrow fixes him up with a very hot hair cut. Stupid female hormones. I'm relinquishing narration to Panther.)
Rogue-Okay, now that that's fixed, Ah gotta question. How long until the weddin' ovah an Ah can take these shoes off?
(Rogue motions to the short heels that go with her beautiful red with black designs dress. They do appear to be the wrong size. A bit too big. Also, exactly the color of her beau's (no pun intended) dress. Ah.)
Those are Remy's.
(Remy opens the shoe box next to his feet. They are plain black pumps, much taller than his date's current footwear. We don't want to dwarf her, do we? Nope, I thought not. *grin*)
Remy-Sorry, chere. *straightens his dark red dress, pulling up the straps and such*
(His dress, like Peter's fit the male body quite well. They don't bell out at the hips, instead they go straight down their legs until about the knee, where there is a slight but noticeable change in skirt diameter. The chest is wider, although not as large as woman's dress would be. Peter's dress is a lighter shade of red, but still manages to look very beautiful and work with John's dress. Kitty is wearing a plain black dress, which still manages to look cheery. Probably all the pretty accesories and her basic contenance is one of happiness. She is no longer OCD.)
John-I have to do something with my hair!
(John's hair is also longer, down to about his shoulders. He has opted to keep it that long, at least for the night. His breast have grown (it's a pregnant thing) and he fills out his maternity dress very well. He is messing with a piece of burgundy tulle (the netty stuff used in veils). The rest of the head piece is sitting on the dresser. It is a gold tiara set with garnets and rubies. His bouquet, full of popies and other vibrant red flowers is sitting in the florist's vase thingy to keep it fresh, along with corsages for Remy and Peter, and a thingy to put on Jean's jacket.)
Man do I feel under dressed right now. I told you we should have worn the dress Juliano.
Juliano-Let it be. Help John with his hair.
(John's hair is twisted into an intricate and beautiful design by Marrow, using her bones as curlers and other nessesities. We're cheap, sorry.)
(John looks in the mirror and squeals in delight. Marrow goes back to her corner to sulk, even though she really doesn't have to, since we gave her control of her powers. Ah well.)
Let's get going with this, huh?
---
Jean stands by the altar nervously. A priest (John's religous, who knew?) is looking through his bible, making sure he has the book marks in the right places. He could do it by heart, but that unsettles the merried couples, usually.
Scott is next to Jean, along with Jamie, who has the rings. Forge is behind a very interesting contraption in the corner. We assume this is the source of the symphonic music currently not helping Jean's nerves. Perhaps the theme to Metal Gear Solid is not the best choice of pre-wedding tunes.
Suddenly the God aweful music stops. All of the assembeld mutants, Dr. and Mrs. Grey, and a strange two headed being in the far back corner sit in anticipation for a full second while Forge recalibrates his music machine. Then, the traditional wedding march blares through the speakers. After the classic riff is played, the style shifts to alt. rock. Remy and Peter start down the ailse, following the little morlock girl with the big hands. She is in a cherry red dress, throwing red poppey petals on the red carpet. The flowers are all dark red, however, all the other decorations are the traditional white.
John is not far behind, holding his bouquet full of red flowers. He catches a look at Jean, who has not seen her bride for a full twenty four hours. Oh, yes, they're following every tradition. John's veil makes up half of the dumb rhyme. The tiara is 'borrowed' (Remy swore he'd take it back after the wedding), the tulle is from an old dress of Rogue's, as the fabric store didn't have any. John's panties are blue, though none of the party beside Tabitha (who helped him put his dress on) know this. Obviously the dress, shoes, flowers, bra. . .everything else is new.
John and company wlak downteh aisle, not taking their time, since the marhc doesn't last as long as usual. OH! I almost forgot to mention who's giving John away. On John's arm, looking very unconfortable in his tuxedo, cape, and helmet is Magneto.
They get to the altar. Magneto lets go of Jonhn, who scurries over to his husband-in-a-few-minutes. The preist opens the book.
"Dearly beloved, we are gatehred here today to join this transvestite and this transexual in holy wedlock. Since they are different genders, I have no problem with this. Since the bride and groom are anxious to save time, and most of you have drowned me out by this time already, we're doing the short version."
The preist takes a deep breath while the audience starts paying attention again.
"John, do you?"
John nods, looking overjoyed. "Yeah."
"Jean do you?"
Jean smiles at her wife. "Sure."
The preist looks at the crowd. "Any problems?"
No one speaks up.
"Good. You're married. Put the rings on and kiss 'im."
The preist slams his bible shut while John and Jean exchange rings and spit.
"Break it up you two, save it for tonight."
---
I think that's all that need be said. I'm Panther Nesmith saying Peace and Love. and REVIEW!
Jean-Oh my god. Oh my God. Oh my God.
(Jean gets up to pace. Juliano looks down at him, er, herself. Panther is already running a lint brush over their pant suit.)
I can't believe Scott wanted to be best man.
Panther-(still lint brushing) Killian, honey, go check on John wouldja? Tell Rogue and the boys they need to hurry up if we wanna get to the church on time. *puts the lint brush down* Juliano, I can't believe what you did to Rogue.
(Jean perks up. I shoosh Panther. Stupid blabbermouth other head.)
(Panther glares at me. I meant that in a nice way Panth. You know that.)
(Panther rolls her eyes. Jean starts pacing)
Just relax Jean. This'll go off without a hitch, I promise. I give my sheep's honor.
(The devil. . .er, Killian, comes back with a note. Panther smooths his slightly tossled hair and picks bunny fur off of him. We see his pet bunny Ben is hopping behind him, playing a game boy. Killian hands the note to Panther, gives me a dirty look, and settles into the couch with an anatomy book.)
Panther-John needs our help. Apparently Peter is having a hair situation. Remy's seems to be stuck in his dress zipper.
Peter's or his own?
Panther-(perusing note) Doesn't say. It does say Sam and Davis are on their way to talk Jean down. To the bridesmaids Robin! *sings Batman theme as we run to the adjacent room*
(John is standing in the corner, laughing his arce off. Remy is holding his hair, which has gotten long, since no one here is qualified to give a hair cut. It is indeed stuck in an equally shaggy Peter's dress. The haridresser we hired for the day (Marrow) is sulking and hating life.)
Remy-P'tite, y' wanna, y'know, HELP ME OUT A LIL' HERE! In case y' havent' noticed I seem t' be de comic relife f'r dis section. At least no one's made a Joe Dirt joke yet.
Marrow-(snickering) Sure thing, mulletov cocktail.
(Marrow makes short work of Remy's horrible mullet. He now has what Panther would call his 'why-can't-anyone-figure-out-that-he's-friggin'-hot-lookin'-like-this' Xtreme hair cut. Peter looks at the hair stuck in his dress with disgust. It magically disappears. He gives me a grateful look.)
Peter-I believe it is my turn for a hair cut.
(Peter looks like he dyed cousin It and stuck It on his head. Marrow fixes him up with a very hot hair cut. Stupid female hormones. I'm relinquishing narration to Panther.)
Rogue-Okay, now that that's fixed, Ah gotta question. How long until the weddin' ovah an Ah can take these shoes off?
(Rogue motions to the short heels that go with her beautiful red with black designs dress. They do appear to be the wrong size. A bit too big. Also, exactly the color of her beau's (no pun intended) dress. Ah.)
Those are Remy's.
(Remy opens the shoe box next to his feet. They are plain black pumps, much taller than his date's current footwear. We don't want to dwarf her, do we? Nope, I thought not. *grin*)
Remy-Sorry, chere. *straightens his dark red dress, pulling up the straps and such*
(His dress, like Peter's fit the male body quite well. They don't bell out at the hips, instead they go straight down their legs until about the knee, where there is a slight but noticeable change in skirt diameter. The chest is wider, although not as large as woman's dress would be. Peter's dress is a lighter shade of red, but still manages to look very beautiful and work with John's dress. Kitty is wearing a plain black dress, which still manages to look cheery. Probably all the pretty accesories and her basic contenance is one of happiness. She is no longer OCD.)
John-I have to do something with my hair!
(John's hair is also longer, down to about his shoulders. He has opted to keep it that long, at least for the night. His breast have grown (it's a pregnant thing) and he fills out his maternity dress very well. He is messing with a piece of burgundy tulle (the netty stuff used in veils). The rest of the head piece is sitting on the dresser. It is a gold tiara set with garnets and rubies. His bouquet, full of popies and other vibrant red flowers is sitting in the florist's vase thingy to keep it fresh, along with corsages for Remy and Peter, and a thingy to put on Jean's jacket.)
Man do I feel under dressed right now. I told you we should have worn the dress Juliano.
Juliano-Let it be. Help John with his hair.
(John's hair is twisted into an intricate and beautiful design by Marrow, using her bones as curlers and other nessesities. We're cheap, sorry.)
(John looks in the mirror and squeals in delight. Marrow goes back to her corner to sulk, even though she really doesn't have to, since we gave her control of her powers. Ah well.)
Let's get going with this, huh?
---
Jean stands by the altar nervously. A priest (John's religous, who knew?) is looking through his bible, making sure he has the book marks in the right places. He could do it by heart, but that unsettles the merried couples, usually.
Scott is next to Jean, along with Jamie, who has the rings. Forge is behind a very interesting contraption in the corner. We assume this is the source of the symphonic music currently not helping Jean's nerves. Perhaps the theme to Metal Gear Solid is not the best choice of pre-wedding tunes.
Suddenly the God aweful music stops. All of the assembeld mutants, Dr. and Mrs. Grey, and a strange two headed being in the far back corner sit in anticipation for a full second while Forge recalibrates his music machine. Then, the traditional wedding march blares through the speakers. After the classic riff is played, the style shifts to alt. rock. Remy and Peter start down the ailse, following the little morlock girl with the big hands. She is in a cherry red dress, throwing red poppey petals on the red carpet. The flowers are all dark red, however, all the other decorations are the traditional white.
John is not far behind, holding his bouquet full of red flowers. He catches a look at Jean, who has not seen her bride for a full twenty four hours. Oh, yes, they're following every tradition. John's veil makes up half of the dumb rhyme. The tiara is 'borrowed' (Remy swore he'd take it back after the wedding), the tulle is from an old dress of Rogue's, as the fabric store didn't have any. John's panties are blue, though none of the party beside Tabitha (who helped him put his dress on) know this. Obviously the dress, shoes, flowers, bra. . .everything else is new.
John and company wlak downteh aisle, not taking their time, since the marhc doesn't last as long as usual. OH! I almost forgot to mention who's giving John away. On John's arm, looking very unconfortable in his tuxedo, cape, and helmet is Magneto.
They get to the altar. Magneto lets go of Jonhn, who scurries over to his husband-in-a-few-minutes. The preist opens the book.
"Dearly beloved, we are gatehred here today to join this transvestite and this transexual in holy wedlock. Since they are different genders, I have no problem with this. Since the bride and groom are anxious to save time, and most of you have drowned me out by this time already, we're doing the short version."
The preist takes a deep breath while the audience starts paying attention again.
"John, do you?"
John nods, looking overjoyed. "Yeah."
"Jean do you?"
Jean smiles at her wife. "Sure."
The preist looks at the crowd. "Any problems?"
No one speaks up.
"Good. You're married. Put the rings on and kiss 'im."
The preist slams his bible shut while John and Jean exchange rings and spit.
"Break it up you two, save it for tonight."
---
I think that's all that need be said. I'm Panther Nesmith saying Peace and Love. and REVIEW!