All the mutants, minus John and Jean, are in a rented comunity hall. I mean ALL the mutants. Apoclaypse and Sinister are smoozing with Xavier. The couples, including Rogue and Remy (who have both taken off their uncomfortable shoes), are dancing.
The only people who seem to not be having a good time are Kitty and Piotr. Potr has refused to set foot in the hall until a replacement set of clothes is procured. Kitty is trying to persuade her date to go in.
"Katya, I cannnot be seen in a dress I bought from a store called 'Sweet Transvestites'. In fact, I believe I will not be in this fic for much longer."
***
What!
Piotr-You heard me. I will no longer take orders from a two headed sheep. I will be leaving this fic. I am better off dead.
(Piotr exits the entire world.)
Can he do that Panther?
Panther-I dunno Juliano. I've never had a character quit.
Sam-Hey, this leaves Kitty dateless. You know, Someone requested a change of partners for her anyway. . .
Kitty-What am I? Comic whore? That's Stacy's job! I Won't do it!
Panther-(motions to Kitty) Now I know you can't do that. Okay, re-write.
(The author and his other head do an odd huddle. Eventually Davis and Sam enter the huddle as well. Finally they break.)
Sam-We have reached tha descision-
Davis-After much deliberation-
Panther-That-
We don't care. You'll have a new date, who has not dressed as female. . .recently.
(Kurt falls out of the skY)
Kurt-Ow. Shisse!
Kitty-Me and. . .Hey Kurt.
(The author, his other head, and the other two males smile amongst themselves.)
Time in.
***
Kitty is standing by herself. Piotr got a message that Illiyana (who is also magically back from the dead), is in trouble; so of course he's rushing off as only a big brother can. This leaves Kitty, regeretfully, dateless.
Kurt notices this and 'ports over to get her to stop thinking of ways to kill Piotr for standing her up.
"Kitty, are you okay?" The obvious start. Kitty looks at Kurt, like she's seeing him for the first time. And she is, since between the whole weird thing with John and everyone and their grandma fornicating everywhere, Kurt had decided that maybe he should have his own place to live off Xavier's money.
"Yeah, I'm okay. My date just rushed off to save his sister."
Kurt gives her a sympathetic look. "Amanda has left the country with her parents. I am dateless too."
Kitty looks at Kurt, who is comiserating. "Really?"
"Ja."
Kitty thinks about this for a second. Several things happen during this second. She notices that Kurt is the only one who's come to comfort her. Kitty also notices that Kurt had grown up a lot since the last time they'd seen each other. The final thing she notices is that he has grown up well, and his current clothing shows that off to his endless advantage.
"You want to dance with me?" Kitty asks, motioning to the dance floor. Kurt grins.
"Of course."
So, the couples danced and schmoozed until John and Jean arrive. Then there is more dancing, more schmoozing, and a toast or two. Scott even makes his alcoholic presence known.
"I would like to wisssshhhhh zzze be't in the world for Jean and John. Let their children be not ssscrewed up, and-" Scott breaks off into sobbing. He is led away by a sympathetic Evan. Bobby claps just to get things rolling again. SOmeone throws a dinner roll at him.
Then the usual traditions begin. First is the dance with John and Jean leading. They dance to Barry White's 'Let's get it On'. Soon everyone is dancing. Even Scott is trying not to get motion sick on Callisto, who looks ready to kill Evan for talking her into this.
Everyone has a lot of fun dancing, until the D.J. announces that it's time for the most famous of all wedding traditions, the bouquet/garter toss.
Everyone seems to be confused about whether they should be catching the bouquet or garter. Traditon is slightly overridden by the assumed gender of the participants. Eventually they decide everyone should try to catch both.
The first thing to go is the bouquet. Jean, who has dreamed all her life of doing this, takes the red carnation out of her tuxedo jacket and throws it over her shoulder. After a few flying leaps either toward or away from the flower, Remy winds up holding the flower.
People ooh, and generally expect Rogue to try extra hard to either catch John's garter or kill Remy in the parking lot. Everyone gathers around Jean, who slowly pulls John's crimson garter off, showing his blue panties (he had the botched sex change reversed) to the gathered mutants.
Finally the small elastic band is shot (yes, classic rubber band style, by John), into the crowd. After a lot of fighting, Kurt teleports, along with the garter, behind the married couple.
Remy looks from the triumphant Kurt to his date, who is sitting placidly at their table, looking very amused. She takes a drink of her daquari and smiles at Remy, motioning him to go sit with Kurt for the obligatory picture.
There is much cat calling as Kurt and Remy try to figure out how to utilize the one chair they've been given. Both are secretly hoping Remy will not have to sit on Kurt's lap. Because of his height and his gender this would obviously be uncomfortable for both.
Eventually Kurt winds up sitting with Remy's arms around him. Remy is standing behind the furry German. The only way either male would cooperate was the promise that if they didn't Jean would give them a t.k. lobotomy.
The picture is taken, copies are demanded, and both males go back to their females, nursing wounded prides.
The night winds down early because John is getting too tired to stay up for a long time. All the mutants go home. Scott is shoved off on Lance, who is trying to ignore Scott's begging to have sex with the perturbed earth shaker.
Kitty goes to Kurt's apartment, just to check the place out. It's completely innocent, until Kitty decides maybe she should move out of the institute too. Her roommate is spending every night in Remy's room, why not have both of them move out and close the room up?
Anyway, everyone goes home, minus Jean and John, who go to Montreal for their honeymoon. All couples, minus Kurt and Kitty, get laid that night, including Scott who is shoved off on Fred. Fred was drunk and confused, in his defense.
***
Well, I'm proud of that one.
Remy-I have blue fur all over me. Y' a damn lucky sheep y' wrote me 'n' Rogue gettin' some time together without Scott. I bet Ripleys would pay big money f'r you two.
Panther-Aww, ya hear that Juliano? He says we're valuable.
I don't think. . .never mind Panther.
Sam-Okay, who wants ta drink the champagne left ovah from tha weddin'?
(Davis grabs a bottle and drink somenot bothering with a glass.)
Davis-I needed that so bad. This is killing my gay-dar. Hell, being around Juliano sets it off.
(The author's other head giggles. The author harumphs but doesn't say anything.)
Rogue-Okay, Ah think we've earned a break. That's the most actual story we've evah done in this fic.
John-Yeah. Let's fade to black. Bollocks I'm tired.
Okay. Next chapter will take place after a time warp.
(Everyone rolls their eyes while the famous Rocky Horror Picture song plays.)
(We fade to black)
The only people who seem to not be having a good time are Kitty and Piotr. Potr has refused to set foot in the hall until a replacement set of clothes is procured. Kitty is trying to persuade her date to go in.
"Katya, I cannnot be seen in a dress I bought from a store called 'Sweet Transvestites'. In fact, I believe I will not be in this fic for much longer."
***
What!
Piotr-You heard me. I will no longer take orders from a two headed sheep. I will be leaving this fic. I am better off dead.
(Piotr exits the entire world.)
Can he do that Panther?
Panther-I dunno Juliano. I've never had a character quit.
Sam-Hey, this leaves Kitty dateless. You know, Someone requested a change of partners for her anyway. . .
Kitty-What am I? Comic whore? That's Stacy's job! I Won't do it!
Panther-(motions to Kitty) Now I know you can't do that. Okay, re-write.
(The author and his other head do an odd huddle. Eventually Davis and Sam enter the huddle as well. Finally they break.)
Sam-We have reached tha descision-
Davis-After much deliberation-
Panther-That-
We don't care. You'll have a new date, who has not dressed as female. . .recently.
(Kurt falls out of the skY)
Kurt-Ow. Shisse!
Kitty-Me and. . .Hey Kurt.
(The author, his other head, and the other two males smile amongst themselves.)
Time in.
***
Kitty is standing by herself. Piotr got a message that Illiyana (who is also magically back from the dead), is in trouble; so of course he's rushing off as only a big brother can. This leaves Kitty, regeretfully, dateless.
Kurt notices this and 'ports over to get her to stop thinking of ways to kill Piotr for standing her up.
"Kitty, are you okay?" The obvious start. Kitty looks at Kurt, like she's seeing him for the first time. And she is, since between the whole weird thing with John and everyone and their grandma fornicating everywhere, Kurt had decided that maybe he should have his own place to live off Xavier's money.
"Yeah, I'm okay. My date just rushed off to save his sister."
Kurt gives her a sympathetic look. "Amanda has left the country with her parents. I am dateless too."
Kitty looks at Kurt, who is comiserating. "Really?"
"Ja."
Kitty thinks about this for a second. Several things happen during this second. She notices that Kurt is the only one who's come to comfort her. Kitty also notices that Kurt had grown up a lot since the last time they'd seen each other. The final thing she notices is that he has grown up well, and his current clothing shows that off to his endless advantage.
"You want to dance with me?" Kitty asks, motioning to the dance floor. Kurt grins.
"Of course."
So, the couples danced and schmoozed until John and Jean arrive. Then there is more dancing, more schmoozing, and a toast or two. Scott even makes his alcoholic presence known.
"I would like to wisssshhhhh zzze be't in the world for Jean and John. Let their children be not ssscrewed up, and-" Scott breaks off into sobbing. He is led away by a sympathetic Evan. Bobby claps just to get things rolling again. SOmeone throws a dinner roll at him.
Then the usual traditions begin. First is the dance with John and Jean leading. They dance to Barry White's 'Let's get it On'. Soon everyone is dancing. Even Scott is trying not to get motion sick on Callisto, who looks ready to kill Evan for talking her into this.
Everyone has a lot of fun dancing, until the D.J. announces that it's time for the most famous of all wedding traditions, the bouquet/garter toss.
Everyone seems to be confused about whether they should be catching the bouquet or garter. Traditon is slightly overridden by the assumed gender of the participants. Eventually they decide everyone should try to catch both.
The first thing to go is the bouquet. Jean, who has dreamed all her life of doing this, takes the red carnation out of her tuxedo jacket and throws it over her shoulder. After a few flying leaps either toward or away from the flower, Remy winds up holding the flower.
People ooh, and generally expect Rogue to try extra hard to either catch John's garter or kill Remy in the parking lot. Everyone gathers around Jean, who slowly pulls John's crimson garter off, showing his blue panties (he had the botched sex change reversed) to the gathered mutants.
Finally the small elastic band is shot (yes, classic rubber band style, by John), into the crowd. After a lot of fighting, Kurt teleports, along with the garter, behind the married couple.
Remy looks from the triumphant Kurt to his date, who is sitting placidly at their table, looking very amused. She takes a drink of her daquari and smiles at Remy, motioning him to go sit with Kurt for the obligatory picture.
There is much cat calling as Kurt and Remy try to figure out how to utilize the one chair they've been given. Both are secretly hoping Remy will not have to sit on Kurt's lap. Because of his height and his gender this would obviously be uncomfortable for both.
Eventually Kurt winds up sitting with Remy's arms around him. Remy is standing behind the furry German. The only way either male would cooperate was the promise that if they didn't Jean would give them a t.k. lobotomy.
The picture is taken, copies are demanded, and both males go back to their females, nursing wounded prides.
The night winds down early because John is getting too tired to stay up for a long time. All the mutants go home. Scott is shoved off on Lance, who is trying to ignore Scott's begging to have sex with the perturbed earth shaker.
Kitty goes to Kurt's apartment, just to check the place out. It's completely innocent, until Kitty decides maybe she should move out of the institute too. Her roommate is spending every night in Remy's room, why not have both of them move out and close the room up?
Anyway, everyone goes home, minus Jean and John, who go to Montreal for their honeymoon. All couples, minus Kurt and Kitty, get laid that night, including Scott who is shoved off on Fred. Fred was drunk and confused, in his defense.
***
Well, I'm proud of that one.
Remy-I have blue fur all over me. Y' a damn lucky sheep y' wrote me 'n' Rogue gettin' some time together without Scott. I bet Ripleys would pay big money f'r you two.
Panther-Aww, ya hear that Juliano? He says we're valuable.
I don't think. . .never mind Panther.
Sam-Okay, who wants ta drink the champagne left ovah from tha weddin'?
(Davis grabs a bottle and drink somenot bothering with a glass.)
Davis-I needed that so bad. This is killing my gay-dar. Hell, being around Juliano sets it off.
(The author's other head giggles. The author harumphs but doesn't say anything.)
Rogue-Okay, Ah think we've earned a break. That's the most actual story we've evah done in this fic.
John-Yeah. Let's fade to black. Bollocks I'm tired.
Okay. Next chapter will take place after a time warp.
(Everyone rolls their eyes while the famous Rocky Horror Picture song plays.)
(We fade to black)