(We see the same group of people, minus Peter, plus Kurt (that's all the math, I swear) sitting around. John looks like he's about to pop. Jean is playing with his now short hair. Hers has once again grown out. It's not quite back to it's former Abecrombie and Fitch model beauty, but she could get by in American Eagle. The others look pretty much the same.)
And we're back! Yeah! Okay, here's the moment John has been waitng for all these seven chapters. The birth of his daughter.
(Polite clapping. Rogue looks slightly off at these words, but only Remy notices.)
Remy-(whispering to her) Chere?
John-Thank God! I'm tired of trying to squeeze through the shower door.
(This time Kitty has a reaction. Kurt smirks to no one in particular. Sam makes a face.)
Sam-Ah'm gonna need therapy.
Panther-Yeah, we all will. Killian, do you think you and Ben could play with Sam so he feels better? I think he's in sibling withdrawl.
(Killian concentrates very hard, on something beside the book that is perched on his not even a year old knees.)
Panther-Oh, seems like you're studying. Parts of the brain, right?
(Killian nods.)
Panther-(gushing with pride) Good boy. Maybe you could figure out how to stimulate the hypothalamus, and we could sell the information.
(Killian smiles at Panther.)
Rogue-Uh, could we get to the story?
(Everyone looks at Rogue in shock.)
Remy-Y' okay? None of us have _asked_ f'r de story t' start. Ever. 'S not right.
As you like it Rogue.
(Remy takes the time away form his worrying about Rogue to smirk at the author for a second.)
***
John is asleep on the bed in his room. Jean is brushing her hair, singing a song that has been stuck in John's head all day.
"Love, could you stop? I'm tired. God I just want to curl up and AH!"
Jean jumps, immediatly by John's side.
"Darling?"
John eases. "Just the baby. A contraction."
Jean's eyes go wide. "You mean. . ."
John holds his hand up, motioning for Jean to stop. "Not yet. This is just the first one. They don't usually-GAH!"
Jean freaks out. She has him t.k.ed out of the bed, in clothes and out the door before he can say anything.
In the hallway John rolls his eyes and grabs his calf. "I have a charlie horse Jean. Calm down."
Jean looks embarrassed and sets John down. John limps back to their room, past Rogue.
Rogue doesn't even look at the two transvestites. She is too engrossed in something she's carrying. But neither married person knows or cares what it is.
But Rogue obviously does and goes to the rec. room, where Remy, Scott (who is wasted), Bobby, and Jamie are playing Blackjack. Without saying a word Rogue grabs Rmey and hauls him out of the room.
Remy is busy wondering what the hell is up. He's a little worried, but not going to say anything until Rogue loosens her death grip on his arm.
They finally get to their room. Rogue lets go of Remy, who is immediatly checking her for some clue as to what the hell is going on. At first he thinks she's hurt, but she doens't have a mark on her. Well, beside a few from the Danger Room and a few hickeys.
Remy discovers his usually good sized paitence was running very short. "What the hell?"
Rogue doesn't say a word, but shows him the thing in her hands. His eyes widen, then squint, then widen again.
"Y'. . .w'. . .a kid?"
Rogue nods glumly. Remy absorbs this for a second.
***
I hope this time out thing doesn't become a habit.
Remy-(sarcastic) Sorry. Y' LIED T' US! Y' PROMISED DAT ROGUE 'N' I WOULDN' BE PARENTS!
Shhhh. Panther, I'll let you take this.
(Panther panic momentarily.)
Panther-Okay. You were originally going to stay kidless. But I read this thing, and I got attacked by a plot bunny-
(Ben perks his ears up)
Panther-No, not you Ben. You were Angel in the centerfold, remember? Anyway, the plot bunny turned out to be rabid. And he brought friends. I couldn't help but listen to it!
(Remy gives her a very evil look. I'm starting to worry for my other head. Now if it were Killian he's threatening. . .)
Panther-(very irked tone) Juliano. (back to half pleading) Remy, you haven't seen plot bunnies in action. Even a cute one like Ben is. . . *shudder* scary.
(Remy continues glaring. But by this time Rogue is pissed off at him)
Rogue-Stop it now Remy. Is there a reason you don't want me to be pregnant with you child?
Remy-(darkly) Not sure it's mine, chere.
(the author and his other head look deeply hurt.)
Remy! You know that we're not that evil.
Remy-Y' have a friend who gave y' son scalpels 'n' other things like dat.
Not _my_ son.
(Panther smacks the author. She then goes over and smacks Remy.)
Panther-Listen. I may be an evil scientist, and I may have vivisected my other head's body so my son could practice on it, and I may have raised the John's preggers bunny, but I have my limits.
Remy-Y' broke up Scott 'n' Jean.
Panther-Yeah, well. . .they annoy me. But you two have been my favorites since I first saw the campy old cartoon with horrible clothing and dialouge. I even pretended to be Storm because I couldn't even attempt a southern accent and didn't want to screw up my favorite character. I then found out how truely awesome Storm is, but that's another anecdote.
Rogue-Ya sure as hell screwed me up here though!
Panther-Nope, that was Juliano. Anyway, long story short, you two will be having a child. That child will be yours, and no one else's.
Davis-(whispering to Sam) I think we just heard verbal fine print.
(Sam nods)
***
"Damn."
Rogue nods again.
Remy smiles a bit. "Hey, 'least we know who the baby's daddy is."
Rogue smiles a bit. She plops down next to Remy.
"Oh Gawd, it's gonna grow up with John 'n' Jean's kid."
Remy stops for a second. "Merde. Well, dere are worse things. Could be Scott's kid."
Rogue rhinks about this for a second. "True."
---
Kurt is sleeping in his apartment with Kitty. The phone next to the bed rings. He sleepily answers the phone.
"Hallo? Was?"
Kitty wakes up. Kurt looks like he's going to faint. He 'ports himself and the cordless phone to hhis kitchen, still holding it in a death grip.
"They won't let you join? You're not a nun yet! Oh, ja, I guess I can understand. . ."
Kitty walks into the kitchen. Kurt quickly cuts the other person off and hangs up.
"Kitty, I have to go. Something has come up, and it's too important to wait. I'm sorry."
Kitty looks worried. "What's up Kurt?
Kurt sakes his head. "I can't tell you. I'm so sorry Kitty. So so sorry."
With that Kurt bamfs to his room to pack.
---
John is trying to get some sleep. The beginning contractions had been tolerable, but now he can't sleep a bit. And they're gettting worse. The fact that he has a charlie horse and very over protective husband doesn't help.
John is catching a few winks when he has a killer contraction. He sits up in bed, holding his stomache.
"Owowowowowowowowowowowow."
Jean wakes up and shakes her head. "John, we are leaving for the hospital _now_."
John just nods meekly and holds his stomache.
The entire institute couldn't help but be there for the birth. The fact that Jean telepathically told them to be there may have had something to do with this.
It was pretty quick. This may be because of spousal interference, but I don't think John much minded. ANyway, the end result (AN: gross gross gross) (PN: Who wanted a baby?) (AN: shut up Panther), is a girl, um, usual baby weight and length. She was dubbed Loraine Grey. There was much oohing and awwing, and a few glances between Rogue and Remy no one else caught.
***
We'll just ignore how skeletal that last part was. So gross. *Shudder*
Kurt-I have such a bad feeling right now.
Kitty-You apologized an aweful lot. . .
Sam-Anarchy in the ranks. This is what comes of bringing Panther into anything. Juliano, you're just freaky. Panther's a freaking anarcist.
Panther-I want to be, anarchy!
Davis-See? She knows too many Sex Pistols songs.
Panther-You like the Ramones better? Or maybe the Clash. I've been looking into NOFX recently. . .
Davis-let's not talk about punk now.
(Rogue and Remy are getting their coats on.)
Where you two going?
Rogue-Doctah. Ah'm a little worried about whacha said about our child. Just want ta make sure it ain't messed up. Or a hermaprodite.
Panter-Hey. We don't have any hermaprodites, Juliano.
(Rogue puts her hand over her mouth. Remy quickly ushers her out the door.)
Luckily for them the plot bunny dictated the genders of their children.
Sam-Ah! That's the verbal fine print.
Davis-So her next kid is going to be Remy's? Or she going to have to do Scott again?
Panther-You'll see beb. For now, I'm Panther Nesmith
Sam-Ah'm Sam Guthrie
Davis-I'm Davis Cameron
And I'm Juliano. . .hey, I don't have a last name.
PAnther-And we're saying Peace and Love, and don't forget to spay or neuter your signifigant other.
(fade to black)
And we're back! Yeah! Okay, here's the moment John has been waitng for all these seven chapters. The birth of his daughter.
(Polite clapping. Rogue looks slightly off at these words, but only Remy notices.)
Remy-(whispering to her) Chere?
John-Thank God! I'm tired of trying to squeeze through the shower door.
(This time Kitty has a reaction. Kurt smirks to no one in particular. Sam makes a face.)
Sam-Ah'm gonna need therapy.
Panther-Yeah, we all will. Killian, do you think you and Ben could play with Sam so he feels better? I think he's in sibling withdrawl.
(Killian concentrates very hard, on something beside the book that is perched on his not even a year old knees.)
Panther-Oh, seems like you're studying. Parts of the brain, right?
(Killian nods.)
Panther-(gushing with pride) Good boy. Maybe you could figure out how to stimulate the hypothalamus, and we could sell the information.
(Killian smiles at Panther.)
Rogue-Uh, could we get to the story?
(Everyone looks at Rogue in shock.)
Remy-Y' okay? None of us have _asked_ f'r de story t' start. Ever. 'S not right.
As you like it Rogue.
(Remy takes the time away form his worrying about Rogue to smirk at the author for a second.)
***
John is asleep on the bed in his room. Jean is brushing her hair, singing a song that has been stuck in John's head all day.
"Love, could you stop? I'm tired. God I just want to curl up and AH!"
Jean jumps, immediatly by John's side.
"Darling?"
John eases. "Just the baby. A contraction."
Jean's eyes go wide. "You mean. . ."
John holds his hand up, motioning for Jean to stop. "Not yet. This is just the first one. They don't usually-GAH!"
Jean freaks out. She has him t.k.ed out of the bed, in clothes and out the door before he can say anything.
In the hallway John rolls his eyes and grabs his calf. "I have a charlie horse Jean. Calm down."
Jean looks embarrassed and sets John down. John limps back to their room, past Rogue.
Rogue doesn't even look at the two transvestites. She is too engrossed in something she's carrying. But neither married person knows or cares what it is.
But Rogue obviously does and goes to the rec. room, where Remy, Scott (who is wasted), Bobby, and Jamie are playing Blackjack. Without saying a word Rogue grabs Rmey and hauls him out of the room.
Remy is busy wondering what the hell is up. He's a little worried, but not going to say anything until Rogue loosens her death grip on his arm.
They finally get to their room. Rogue lets go of Remy, who is immediatly checking her for some clue as to what the hell is going on. At first he thinks she's hurt, but she doens't have a mark on her. Well, beside a few from the Danger Room and a few hickeys.
Remy discovers his usually good sized paitence was running very short. "What the hell?"
Rogue doesn't say a word, but shows him the thing in her hands. His eyes widen, then squint, then widen again.
"Y'. . .w'. . .a kid?"
Rogue nods glumly. Remy absorbs this for a second.
***
I hope this time out thing doesn't become a habit.
Remy-(sarcastic) Sorry. Y' LIED T' US! Y' PROMISED DAT ROGUE 'N' I WOULDN' BE PARENTS!
Shhhh. Panther, I'll let you take this.
(Panther panic momentarily.)
Panther-Okay. You were originally going to stay kidless. But I read this thing, and I got attacked by a plot bunny-
(Ben perks his ears up)
Panther-No, not you Ben. You were Angel in the centerfold, remember? Anyway, the plot bunny turned out to be rabid. And he brought friends. I couldn't help but listen to it!
(Remy gives her a very evil look. I'm starting to worry for my other head. Now if it were Killian he's threatening. . .)
Panther-(very irked tone) Juliano. (back to half pleading) Remy, you haven't seen plot bunnies in action. Even a cute one like Ben is. . . *shudder* scary.
(Remy continues glaring. But by this time Rogue is pissed off at him)
Rogue-Stop it now Remy. Is there a reason you don't want me to be pregnant with you child?
Remy-(darkly) Not sure it's mine, chere.
(the author and his other head look deeply hurt.)
Remy! You know that we're not that evil.
Remy-Y' have a friend who gave y' son scalpels 'n' other things like dat.
Not _my_ son.
(Panther smacks the author. She then goes over and smacks Remy.)
Panther-Listen. I may be an evil scientist, and I may have vivisected my other head's body so my son could practice on it, and I may have raised the John's preggers bunny, but I have my limits.
Remy-Y' broke up Scott 'n' Jean.
Panther-Yeah, well. . .they annoy me. But you two have been my favorites since I first saw the campy old cartoon with horrible clothing and dialouge. I even pretended to be Storm because I couldn't even attempt a southern accent and didn't want to screw up my favorite character. I then found out how truely awesome Storm is, but that's another anecdote.
Rogue-Ya sure as hell screwed me up here though!
Panther-Nope, that was Juliano. Anyway, long story short, you two will be having a child. That child will be yours, and no one else's.
Davis-(whispering to Sam) I think we just heard verbal fine print.
(Sam nods)
***
"Damn."
Rogue nods again.
Remy smiles a bit. "Hey, 'least we know who the baby's daddy is."
Rogue smiles a bit. She plops down next to Remy.
"Oh Gawd, it's gonna grow up with John 'n' Jean's kid."
Remy stops for a second. "Merde. Well, dere are worse things. Could be Scott's kid."
Rogue rhinks about this for a second. "True."
---
Kurt is sleeping in his apartment with Kitty. The phone next to the bed rings. He sleepily answers the phone.
"Hallo? Was?"
Kitty wakes up. Kurt looks like he's going to faint. He 'ports himself and the cordless phone to hhis kitchen, still holding it in a death grip.
"They won't let you join? You're not a nun yet! Oh, ja, I guess I can understand. . ."
Kitty walks into the kitchen. Kurt quickly cuts the other person off and hangs up.
"Kitty, I have to go. Something has come up, and it's too important to wait. I'm sorry."
Kitty looks worried. "What's up Kurt?
Kurt sakes his head. "I can't tell you. I'm so sorry Kitty. So so sorry."
With that Kurt bamfs to his room to pack.
---
John is trying to get some sleep. The beginning contractions had been tolerable, but now he can't sleep a bit. And they're gettting worse. The fact that he has a charlie horse and very over protective husband doesn't help.
John is catching a few winks when he has a killer contraction. He sits up in bed, holding his stomache.
"Owowowowowowowowowowowow."
Jean wakes up and shakes her head. "John, we are leaving for the hospital _now_."
John just nods meekly and holds his stomache.
The entire institute couldn't help but be there for the birth. The fact that Jean telepathically told them to be there may have had something to do with this.
It was pretty quick. This may be because of spousal interference, but I don't think John much minded. ANyway, the end result (AN: gross gross gross) (PN: Who wanted a baby?) (AN: shut up Panther), is a girl, um, usual baby weight and length. She was dubbed Loraine Grey. There was much oohing and awwing, and a few glances between Rogue and Remy no one else caught.
***
We'll just ignore how skeletal that last part was. So gross. *Shudder*
Kurt-I have such a bad feeling right now.
Kitty-You apologized an aweful lot. . .
Sam-Anarchy in the ranks. This is what comes of bringing Panther into anything. Juliano, you're just freaky. Panther's a freaking anarcist.
Panther-I want to be, anarchy!
Davis-See? She knows too many Sex Pistols songs.
Panther-You like the Ramones better? Or maybe the Clash. I've been looking into NOFX recently. . .
Davis-let's not talk about punk now.
(Rogue and Remy are getting their coats on.)
Where you two going?
Rogue-Doctah. Ah'm a little worried about whacha said about our child. Just want ta make sure it ain't messed up. Or a hermaprodite.
Panter-Hey. We don't have any hermaprodites, Juliano.
(Rogue puts her hand over her mouth. Remy quickly ushers her out the door.)
Luckily for them the plot bunny dictated the genders of their children.
Sam-Ah! That's the verbal fine print.
Davis-So her next kid is going to be Remy's? Or she going to have to do Scott again?
Panther-You'll see beb. For now, I'm Panther Nesmith
Sam-Ah'm Sam Guthrie
Davis-I'm Davis Cameron
And I'm Juliano. . .hey, I don't have a last name.
PAnther-And we're saying Peace and Love, and don't forget to spay or neuter your signifigant other.
(fade to black)