(Everyone is sitting around. The author doesn't have his image inducer on, and is talking with his other head.)
Panther-But we didn't have any ideas! We used all our pregnant things with John. Doing them with Rogue would be extraneous.
You could have at least let me write a few. . .adult chapters.
Panther-Do you _want_ to be kicked off ff.net?
I think it would be something to brag about.
Panther-*shakes head* Killian, honey, will you track down the others? We need to get this chapter on the road.
(Panther's demon adopted child runs off, followed by his pet plot bunny, Ben.)
Panther-I can't believe we messed up and gave away our big plot twist. The verbal fine print effect is ruined!
Shhh! They don't know yet. . . Aw hell, you're right. Let's just introduce the little un's okay?
(The cast enters. They seem much older. John and Jean's kid, Fifi, is playing with two boys. One has white hair on the right half of his head, and brownish red hair on the left half. He has green on black eyes, and apparently answers to the name Skylar. His twin brother is hanging out near by, unknown to Fifi, about to ambush her. This one is named Otheo, and he has multiple white stripes radiating from his face, surrounded by brown hair. He has red and white eyes, and a very evil expression at present. Jean t.k.s him to a stop after he launches himself at her daughter.)
Jean-I feel like someday these three are going to have group sex.
(The author and his other head look at each other conspiratorily.)
John-Love, please don't give them any more ideas.
(A big poodle puppy with a very evil look bounds in after Fifi.)
Fifi-Butch! Sit. Stay. Good Butch.
Let's get going huh? Kitty, where's Kurt?
Kitty-He took off, remember?
You mean he's not back?
(Killian shakes his head.)
Well, we'll take care of that while this chapter plays out. Attitude, Killian, keep the inmates in line, boys.
(The dragon and the winged serpent (The author is smacked by Panther), watch the next scene happen while the two headed sheep goes off to find our misplaced German)
Owwww
***
Rogue was running her fingers through her husband's hair. His head was on her lap. They were out on a blanket in the grass, where a picnic had taken place. Kitty was playing with the children, while John, Jean, Rogue, and Remy relaxed.
"I have to hand it t' y' Jean. Dis wasn' such a bad idea." Remy said, trying to dig his head deeper into Rogue's lap. Considering he was facing her, this may not have been the most innocent thing he's ever done. Rogue pretended not to notice, much to her husband's enjoyment. He slid his hands up her thighs, working his fingers into her shorts-
ZAP!
Four sets of eyes look over at the children. Scott had been in his room recovering from a hangover all day. But then the unmistakable sound of his powers had come from where the children were. This could have been a bad thing, but for who was not certain. The children had an instictual dislike of the drunk ex-leader. And they knew that being married to an old bald guy who called him 'Sugar Bum'was very wrong.
Kitty looked at Otheo in shock. So did Fifi, who was holding Butch on a short leash. Skyler looked at his mother, scandalized.
"Momma! Why does Otheo have Scott's powers!"
Now Skyler was little. Three, tops. But he knew when things weren't right. The emotions from the adults were usually a good clue. They didn't know he had his powers, and he was kind of glad. He had strong charm and empathy, which only came in handy if the people you use it on didn't know. Spoiled? You better believe it.
Rogue groaned and tried to hide her head in her knees. But since her lover's head was still in her lap, this didn't work out so well. She almost choked Remy before he pulled his head away.
"Be careful, chere. Y' almos' took m' head off." Remy said, focusing on the pain instead of his strong deisre to storm into the manison and rip the gonads off their alcoholic ex-leader. But then the professor would probably wipe Remy's mind for rendering his husband useles in bed.
"Why God? Ah'm not that bad a person am Ah?"
***
(Killian looks at the adults, who are very angry. Killian wishes his mom would get back soon.)
Remy-Okay, Killian, 'm gonna have t' talk t' y' mom's other head.
(Killian concentrates on the words 'They're busy' very hard. This yeilds no effect. At least not on Remy)
Kitty-(slighhtly automatically) They're busy. Probably still looking for Kurt.
(Killian smiles in a self satisfied way.)
(Rogue is crying. Otheo looks at her, a little upset. Killian sees how unhappy the other, older, kid is, and semi-grins.)
Killian-[Show him to steal the anatomy book.]
Sam- Uh, maybe you should just finish this chapter. Ah don't think Killian's gonna be much help.
(Killian frowns. He moves toward Sam. Attitude notices this and grabs the back of the boy's shirt in his mouth and gently pulls him away from the clueless Kentucky boy.)
Attitude-(after putting Killian in the curl of his tail, to keep the boy in check) Perrrrhaps you shhhould nooooooot uuuunderrrrrestimate the child. Paaaaanther is very crrrrrreative, IIIIII'm suuuuuure herrrrrrr sooooooon wouldddddddd be too.
Rogue-Ah just want ta get this ovah with.
Attitude-Whhhhhhhy? Issssss yourrrrrrr soooooooon sssssssssuddenly sooooooomeonnnnnnnnnnnnne elsssssssssse? Thisssssssss shhhhhhhhould noooooooooot chaaaaaange thingsssssss. . .muchhhhhhh.
(Rogue sniffs, but sees the truth in this.)
Rogue-Poor Otheo. Ta have that fo' a fathah.
Attitude-Yesssssssssss. Buttttttttt noooooooooow you mussssssssssssst fiiiiiiiiiiniiiiiiiiiish the chhhhhhhhhhhapter. I ddddddddddooo notttttttttttt wannnnnnnnnnt to beeeeeeeeeee herrrrrrrrrrrrre alllllllllllll dayyyyyyyyyyyyyy.
Remy-Den maybe y' shouldn' have so many lines.
(Attitude glares at Remy, who wisely shuts up.)
***
Rogue uncurled herself and ran over to her boys. John also ran over and grabbed Fifi, who was very scared.
"Daddy! He's got Scott's powers! But he don't have Scott's funny glasses!" John shushed Fifi, on his way to pack up the picnic things with his husband.
Rogue looked her boy over. Otheo was still surprised looking. He was also crying. But his eyes were open, showing he had much better control than his father. Rogue silently thanked God for small favors. She saw Remy going to check on Skylar, who was a little freaked out. And irritated that Rogue hadn't answered his question.
"Poppa, why's Otheo got Scott's powers?"
Remy tried to explain things. He really did. But what came out of his mouth instead of the truth was "Go ask y' Momma."
Rogue took this as an insult. She stood up, with Otheo in her arms. Remy realized what she thought he meant. Skylar hauled butt out of there. He knew Momma and Poppa were going to have it out.
"Ah'm goin' in." Rogue said coldly, rubbing Otheo's back and trying to make him stop crying.
Remy was shocked. She sounded very angry, but she left instead of giving him an ass kicking? "Damn. Dis is worse 'n' I thought. What if she's still seein'. . .non. She isn' still havin' sex wit' him. He's too drunk t' find his own ass wit' bot' hands 'n' a big flashlight most' de time. An' she's got me."
Remy went quiet. He also went inside.
Rogue fumed silently. She sat Otheo on the counter and looked him in the eye. This wasn't right. How could she have gotten pregnant with two men's children? How could Remy be such a heartless bastard? Was every man she'd ever had sex with a total and utter jerk?
"Otheo, sugah, have ya seen Scott lately?" Her mind quickly went over its options. [Maybe his powers are like mine, only controlled.] A very optimistic part of her said. But she also had a realistic part going, [It's possible to get pregnant by two different men at the same time. Especially when you have three way sex a few times.]
[Shut up!] the optimist roared. I never said it's a nice part of her brain.
[Bite me 'the glass is half full'!] The realist yelled back.
Rogue groaned and grabbed a dining room chair to sit on. Scott chose that moment to come in, looking for Scotch.
"What the fuck?" he slurred, seeing Rogue holding her head and Otheo looking slightly frigtened. In Otheo's little kid's brain, connections were being made. [Okay. Momma freaks out when I have Scott's powers. She then freaks out even worse when she asks me about Scott. Scott musta hurt her! I'll show him not t' mess with my Momma!]
With these thoughts running around in his brain, Otheo attacked Scott. Rogue was broken out of her internal cat fight to watch her son and his father fight.
"Otheo, stop it, sugah. Ah need at tell ya somethin'."
Otheo let go of Scott's ears. Scott fell on his butt, still wondering why the child is attacking him. It's not like it was Otheo's scotch he was stealing.
"Scott, ya might wanna listen too." Scott obediently sat down at the kitchen table. He knew what would happen if he disobeyed Rogue in this kind of mood.
"Ah think ya a fathah Scott. Otheo, sugah, Ah-"
Otheo glared. "He's not my daddy! Ah have a dad, an' I like him better'n. . .de bald guy's love toy!"
Remy snickered very quietly to himself. He really loved his children sometimes. Skylar giggled too. this was premium entertainment. Fifi would be _so_ jealous!
"Otheo," Rogue started, trying to placate the little boy. "Ah'm not sayin' ya should call Scott 'Dad' or anything. Heaven forbid."
Scott glared weakly. Remy did a little happy dance outside the kitchen, earning him a look from Kitty, who was passing by on her way to her new room (aka Kurt' old room), to do some research for a college paper. Skylar had to sit down he was laughing so hard. Well, he would have been, if he didn't know not to make noise.
"But," Rogue continued, "Ah think ya should know that ya may have a few of Scott's othah traits-"
"Ya mean Ah'm gonna marry a bald guy an' drink dat nasty smellin' stuff all the time?" Otheo asked, making a face. Rogue laughed a little.
"No sugah. Not unless ya wanna. But ya may need glasses like Scott's someday."
"Oh," Otheo said. "But do I need them now?" He looked so hopeful and little kid-ish. [Good reason,] the semi-rigteous part Rogue's brain sniped.
Rogue shook her head. "Doesn' look like it, baby. Lucky you."
Otheo shifted on his feet. It was so adorable. Even if he did have a drunk idiot for a father, her kids was the most beautiful precious thing inthe whole world.
"So can Ah go play wit' Fifi?"
Rogue nodded. Otheo ran out, smacking his father. . .er. . .Remy with the door. Skylar satrted laughing so hard he almost peed his pants. Rogue looked at the doorway and scowled. She turned her back to Remy.
Scott was floored. Well, not literally (for once). But he was very surprised.
"Y' mean I've got a boy with a fruity name like 'Oth-' 'Oveo' 'Oth-'. . .that?" Scott slurred.
Rogue glared and stalked out of the room. This time Remy dodged the door before he was hit again. He let her go to her room to fume for a bit. Best thing to do would be wait until she was calmer, then state his case.
---
Kurt stood outside the institute with a small girl. She held his hand tighly and flicked her furless tail agitatedly.
"Dad, are we gonna go in, or just stand here all day?"
Kurt smiled down at the little girl. She played with the hem of her skirt. "You ready to go in?"
The girl nodded. Kurt held on tightly to her and teleported into is old room.
Kitty looked behind her at the familiar noise of Kurt teleporting. When she saw him, she immediatly lept on him and grabbed him in a huge hug. The little girl was shoved away from her father by the force of Kitty's hug.
The little girl pouted from the floor for a little bit.
"DAD!"
Kurt gently pryed Kitty off of him and went to help the girl up.
"Katzen, this is my daughter, Maureen."
***
Attitude: Duuuuuuuuunnnnn Duuuuuuuunnnn Duuuuuuuuunnnnn.
Sam-Yano, it lacks a lil' umph when he does it.
(Davis nods. Panther/Juliano flop down on the couch next to him.)
Everybody happy?
(Everybody starts complaining.)
Good. Until next time then.
Panther-um, Juliano, I don't think that was so smart-
Night!
(fade to black, as a mob of angry X-men surround the author's couch)
Sam-Mommy.
Panther-But we didn't have any ideas! We used all our pregnant things with John. Doing them with Rogue would be extraneous.
You could have at least let me write a few. . .adult chapters.
Panther-Do you _want_ to be kicked off ff.net?
I think it would be something to brag about.
Panther-*shakes head* Killian, honey, will you track down the others? We need to get this chapter on the road.
(Panther's demon adopted child runs off, followed by his pet plot bunny, Ben.)
Panther-I can't believe we messed up and gave away our big plot twist. The verbal fine print effect is ruined!
Shhh! They don't know yet. . . Aw hell, you're right. Let's just introduce the little un's okay?
(The cast enters. They seem much older. John and Jean's kid, Fifi, is playing with two boys. One has white hair on the right half of his head, and brownish red hair on the left half. He has green on black eyes, and apparently answers to the name Skylar. His twin brother is hanging out near by, unknown to Fifi, about to ambush her. This one is named Otheo, and he has multiple white stripes radiating from his face, surrounded by brown hair. He has red and white eyes, and a very evil expression at present. Jean t.k.s him to a stop after he launches himself at her daughter.)
Jean-I feel like someday these three are going to have group sex.
(The author and his other head look at each other conspiratorily.)
John-Love, please don't give them any more ideas.
(A big poodle puppy with a very evil look bounds in after Fifi.)
Fifi-Butch! Sit. Stay. Good Butch.
Let's get going huh? Kitty, where's Kurt?
Kitty-He took off, remember?
You mean he's not back?
(Killian shakes his head.)
Well, we'll take care of that while this chapter plays out. Attitude, Killian, keep the inmates in line, boys.
(The dragon and the winged serpent (The author is smacked by Panther), watch the next scene happen while the two headed sheep goes off to find our misplaced German)
Owwww
***
Rogue was running her fingers through her husband's hair. His head was on her lap. They were out on a blanket in the grass, where a picnic had taken place. Kitty was playing with the children, while John, Jean, Rogue, and Remy relaxed.
"I have to hand it t' y' Jean. Dis wasn' such a bad idea." Remy said, trying to dig his head deeper into Rogue's lap. Considering he was facing her, this may not have been the most innocent thing he's ever done. Rogue pretended not to notice, much to her husband's enjoyment. He slid his hands up her thighs, working his fingers into her shorts-
ZAP!
Four sets of eyes look over at the children. Scott had been in his room recovering from a hangover all day. But then the unmistakable sound of his powers had come from where the children were. This could have been a bad thing, but for who was not certain. The children had an instictual dislike of the drunk ex-leader. And they knew that being married to an old bald guy who called him 'Sugar Bum'was very wrong.
Kitty looked at Otheo in shock. So did Fifi, who was holding Butch on a short leash. Skyler looked at his mother, scandalized.
"Momma! Why does Otheo have Scott's powers!"
Now Skyler was little. Three, tops. But he knew when things weren't right. The emotions from the adults were usually a good clue. They didn't know he had his powers, and he was kind of glad. He had strong charm and empathy, which only came in handy if the people you use it on didn't know. Spoiled? You better believe it.
Rogue groaned and tried to hide her head in her knees. But since her lover's head was still in her lap, this didn't work out so well. She almost choked Remy before he pulled his head away.
"Be careful, chere. Y' almos' took m' head off." Remy said, focusing on the pain instead of his strong deisre to storm into the manison and rip the gonads off their alcoholic ex-leader. But then the professor would probably wipe Remy's mind for rendering his husband useles in bed.
"Why God? Ah'm not that bad a person am Ah?"
***
(Killian looks at the adults, who are very angry. Killian wishes his mom would get back soon.)
Remy-Okay, Killian, 'm gonna have t' talk t' y' mom's other head.
(Killian concentrates on the words 'They're busy' very hard. This yeilds no effect. At least not on Remy)
Kitty-(slighhtly automatically) They're busy. Probably still looking for Kurt.
(Killian smiles in a self satisfied way.)
(Rogue is crying. Otheo looks at her, a little upset. Killian sees how unhappy the other, older, kid is, and semi-grins.)
Killian-[Show him to steal the anatomy book.]
Sam- Uh, maybe you should just finish this chapter. Ah don't think Killian's gonna be much help.
(Killian frowns. He moves toward Sam. Attitude notices this and grabs the back of the boy's shirt in his mouth and gently pulls him away from the clueless Kentucky boy.)
Attitude-(after putting Killian in the curl of his tail, to keep the boy in check) Perrrrhaps you shhhould nooooooot uuuunderrrrrestimate the child. Paaaaanther is very crrrrrreative, IIIIII'm suuuuuure herrrrrrr sooooooon wouldddddddd be too.
Rogue-Ah just want ta get this ovah with.
Attitude-Whhhhhhhy? Issssss yourrrrrrr soooooooon sssssssssuddenly sooooooomeonnnnnnnnnnnnne elsssssssssse? Thisssssssss shhhhhhhhould noooooooooot chaaaaaange thingsssssss. . .muchhhhhhh.
(Rogue sniffs, but sees the truth in this.)
Rogue-Poor Otheo. Ta have that fo' a fathah.
Attitude-Yesssssssssss. Buttttttttt noooooooooow you mussssssssssssst fiiiiiiiiiiniiiiiiiiiish the chhhhhhhhhhhapter. I ddddddddddooo notttttttttttt wannnnnnnnnnt to beeeeeeeeeee herrrrrrrrrrrrre alllllllllllll dayyyyyyyyyyyyyy.
Remy-Den maybe y' shouldn' have so many lines.
(Attitude glares at Remy, who wisely shuts up.)
***
Rogue uncurled herself and ran over to her boys. John also ran over and grabbed Fifi, who was very scared.
"Daddy! He's got Scott's powers! But he don't have Scott's funny glasses!" John shushed Fifi, on his way to pack up the picnic things with his husband.
Rogue looked her boy over. Otheo was still surprised looking. He was also crying. But his eyes were open, showing he had much better control than his father. Rogue silently thanked God for small favors. She saw Remy going to check on Skylar, who was a little freaked out. And irritated that Rogue hadn't answered his question.
"Poppa, why's Otheo got Scott's powers?"
Remy tried to explain things. He really did. But what came out of his mouth instead of the truth was "Go ask y' Momma."
Rogue took this as an insult. She stood up, with Otheo in her arms. Remy realized what she thought he meant. Skylar hauled butt out of there. He knew Momma and Poppa were going to have it out.
"Ah'm goin' in." Rogue said coldly, rubbing Otheo's back and trying to make him stop crying.
Remy was shocked. She sounded very angry, but she left instead of giving him an ass kicking? "Damn. Dis is worse 'n' I thought. What if she's still seein'. . .non. She isn' still havin' sex wit' him. He's too drunk t' find his own ass wit' bot' hands 'n' a big flashlight most' de time. An' she's got me."
Remy went quiet. He also went inside.
Rogue fumed silently. She sat Otheo on the counter and looked him in the eye. This wasn't right. How could she have gotten pregnant with two men's children? How could Remy be such a heartless bastard? Was every man she'd ever had sex with a total and utter jerk?
"Otheo, sugah, have ya seen Scott lately?" Her mind quickly went over its options. [Maybe his powers are like mine, only controlled.] A very optimistic part of her said. But she also had a realistic part going, [It's possible to get pregnant by two different men at the same time. Especially when you have three way sex a few times.]
[Shut up!] the optimist roared. I never said it's a nice part of her brain.
[Bite me 'the glass is half full'!] The realist yelled back.
Rogue groaned and grabbed a dining room chair to sit on. Scott chose that moment to come in, looking for Scotch.
"What the fuck?" he slurred, seeing Rogue holding her head and Otheo looking slightly frigtened. In Otheo's little kid's brain, connections were being made. [Okay. Momma freaks out when I have Scott's powers. She then freaks out even worse when she asks me about Scott. Scott musta hurt her! I'll show him not t' mess with my Momma!]
With these thoughts running around in his brain, Otheo attacked Scott. Rogue was broken out of her internal cat fight to watch her son and his father fight.
"Otheo, stop it, sugah. Ah need at tell ya somethin'."
Otheo let go of Scott's ears. Scott fell on his butt, still wondering why the child is attacking him. It's not like it was Otheo's scotch he was stealing.
"Scott, ya might wanna listen too." Scott obediently sat down at the kitchen table. He knew what would happen if he disobeyed Rogue in this kind of mood.
"Ah think ya a fathah Scott. Otheo, sugah, Ah-"
Otheo glared. "He's not my daddy! Ah have a dad, an' I like him better'n. . .de bald guy's love toy!"
Remy snickered very quietly to himself. He really loved his children sometimes. Skylar giggled too. this was premium entertainment. Fifi would be _so_ jealous!
"Otheo," Rogue started, trying to placate the little boy. "Ah'm not sayin' ya should call Scott 'Dad' or anything. Heaven forbid."
Scott glared weakly. Remy did a little happy dance outside the kitchen, earning him a look from Kitty, who was passing by on her way to her new room (aka Kurt' old room), to do some research for a college paper. Skylar had to sit down he was laughing so hard. Well, he would have been, if he didn't know not to make noise.
"But," Rogue continued, "Ah think ya should know that ya may have a few of Scott's othah traits-"
"Ya mean Ah'm gonna marry a bald guy an' drink dat nasty smellin' stuff all the time?" Otheo asked, making a face. Rogue laughed a little.
"No sugah. Not unless ya wanna. But ya may need glasses like Scott's someday."
"Oh," Otheo said. "But do I need them now?" He looked so hopeful and little kid-ish. [Good reason,] the semi-rigteous part Rogue's brain sniped.
Rogue shook her head. "Doesn' look like it, baby. Lucky you."
Otheo shifted on his feet. It was so adorable. Even if he did have a drunk idiot for a father, her kids was the most beautiful precious thing inthe whole world.
"So can Ah go play wit' Fifi?"
Rogue nodded. Otheo ran out, smacking his father. . .er. . .Remy with the door. Skylar satrted laughing so hard he almost peed his pants. Rogue looked at the doorway and scowled. She turned her back to Remy.
Scott was floored. Well, not literally (for once). But he was very surprised.
"Y' mean I've got a boy with a fruity name like 'Oth-' 'Oveo' 'Oth-'. . .that?" Scott slurred.
Rogue glared and stalked out of the room. This time Remy dodged the door before he was hit again. He let her go to her room to fume for a bit. Best thing to do would be wait until she was calmer, then state his case.
---
Kurt stood outside the institute with a small girl. She held his hand tighly and flicked her furless tail agitatedly.
"Dad, are we gonna go in, or just stand here all day?"
Kurt smiled down at the little girl. She played with the hem of her skirt. "You ready to go in?"
The girl nodded. Kurt held on tightly to her and teleported into is old room.
Kitty looked behind her at the familiar noise of Kurt teleporting. When she saw him, she immediatly lept on him and grabbed him in a huge hug. The little girl was shoved away from her father by the force of Kitty's hug.
The little girl pouted from the floor for a little bit.
"DAD!"
Kurt gently pryed Kitty off of him and went to help the girl up.
"Katzen, this is my daughter, Maureen."
***
Attitude: Duuuuuuuuunnnnn Duuuuuuuunnnn Duuuuuuuuunnnnn.
Sam-Yano, it lacks a lil' umph when he does it.
(Davis nods. Panther/Juliano flop down on the couch next to him.)
Everybody happy?
(Everybody starts complaining.)
Good. Until next time then.
Panther-um, Juliano, I don't think that was so smart-
Night!
(fade to black, as a mob of angry X-men surround the author's couch)
Sam-Mommy.