A/N: This is what Courtney is feeling before Jason comes there
Part Two: Because You Loved Me
Courtney got up from her warm bed, her eyes puffy from crying most of the night and waking up from dreams, dreams of them together, loving each other. She tried to reason with herself, that this was the best for everyone, that she was doing the right thing. She put her bath robe on that was lying in the chair, and went to the bathroom, looking at herself. Her eyes were droopy, her face was red, her eyes almost swollen shut. She wanted so bad to go call him, to tell him that she made a mistake that she wanted him to take her back, well if he would.
She scrub her face and brushed her teeth. She went to the closet and tried to choose what to wear but she just could not get the energy to pick something out, to get dress. She went to the couch and laid down, she thought about all the times they had laid on this couch together, talking, making love, dreaming their dreams of being together.
**Flashback**
"You know I want to take you to Barcelona, show you all the sites," Jason told her as the laid together on the couch. His arms around her, her head on his chest, his hand on top of hers.
"That sounds wonderful, we would leave in the middle of the night, escape so no one would know. Well........maybe we should tell Carly so she wouldn't worry," Carly would keep their secret. Out of everyone, she was the one who was always in their corner, routing for them, wanting them together.
"Yeah Carly.......she wouldn't tell anyone. Probably want us to make a baby," he wanted to have a baby with Courtney, but it was too early in their relationship for a baby.
"Yeah she would," she laughed, but she could not imagine anything more wonderful then having Jason baby.
"Well one day we will, after we're married," he told her as he kissed her head.
"That sounds perfect," she said as she kiss his peck.
"I love you."
"I love you too," she said and moved up to kiss his mouth.
**End of Flashback**
~*~ For all those times you stood by me
For all the truth that you made me see
For all the joy you brought to my life
For all the wrong that you made right
For every dream you made come true
For all the love I found in you
I'll be forever thankful baby
You're the one who held me up
Never let me fall
You're the one who saw me through through it all ~*~
She kept, trying not to cry. She loved Jason so much but he brother needed them to be a part. Carly came over every day to check on her, to make sure she was all right. To make sure she was eating right, checking to make sure she was still in love with Jason, telling her to fight for him. Telling him to go to him. She loved Carly dearly but sometimes she just didn't get it, she was doing this for her, for Michael, for Sonny, for the baby. For her family. All she asked of Carly was making sure Jason was okay, making sure he stayed healthy, make sure he was happy. That's all she wanted him happy.
She felt a warm tongue and come and lick her face. She opened her eyes, looking at Roise. Even looking at Rosie hurt now a days, she remember all the times she thought about how they would all be here in the loft.
~*~ You were my strength when I was weak
You were my voice when I couldn't speak
You were my eyes when I couldn't see
You saw the best there was in me
Lifted me up when I couldn't reach
You gave me faith 'coz you believed
I'm everything I am
Because you loved me ~*~
She missed how Jason always believed in her, told her she could accomplish anything that anything she set her mind too. That she could go to collage and be the best there. That she could be anything she wanted to be. That she was the best in the world. If ever she doubted herself, he was right there to tell her that she was the best. Making sure that she knew that she was the best thing in his life, the only good thing in his life.
He loved her, she knew that but she had to do what she was doing for Sonny and his family. She heard her phone ring and she picked it up, "Hello," she said into the phone.
"Hey gurl, you want to go shopping," Carly said to her friend. She loved Courtney like a sister but she hated that she was hurting herself and Jason. All Jason did now a days was sit in his apartment, work, or ride his bike. He looked horrible, he must had not shaved in a while, his cloths were always wrinkled and his eyes looked almost as bad as Courtney did.
"No, Carly, I am tried really. I think I will just head back to bed," she said. She really didn't want to. She sat up on the sofa. She thought about the time she wanted Jason to go shopping, it was so funny, he hated it but he went with her.
**Flashback**
"Please Jason I want you to help me pick out what looks good on me," Courtney pleaded. She wanted Jason to like what she wore and if he came with her she would knew he liked it.
"No, Courtney you know I hate shopping," he said, "hell you and Carly do my shopping."
"Please I want you to come so I will know what you like on me," she tried to reason.
"You could wear a potato sack and I would still think you are the sexist woman alive," he went back to his paper work.
"Jason pretty please."
"Courtney have to work."
"Fine then you don't have to come to Victoria Secrets with me," she said with a wicked grin.
"Victoria Secrets.......can I go in the dressing room," he asked with a smile.
"Well maybe, but you got to go shopping with me."
"Okay, okay."
"Thank you, thank you," she went to sit on his lap.
"You welcome and remember I am only doing this cause I love you," he start to kiss her neck.
"And that will always be the only thing I need."
**End of Flashback**
~*~ You gave me wings and made me fly
You touched my hand I could touch the sky
I lost my faith, you gave it back to me
You said no star was out of reach
You stood by me and I stood tall
I had your love I had it all
I'm grateful for each day you gave me
Maybe I don't know that much
But I know this much is true
I was blessed because I was loved by you ~*~
"Hello Courtney, Courtney," Carly said and pulled her out of her thoughts.
"Oh hey sorry, but no Carly. Maybe some other time."
"I swear to god, you are coming with me Tuesday to see the Contractor, even if I have to drag you out by your hair," Carly said as she hung up. Courtney wouldn't put it pass Carly to do just that. Carly always got her way no matter what, no matter what she had to do, no matter how far she had to go and get it.
Some times, she just wanted to crawl back in the bed and pull the covers over her head and die. She had to force herself to eat, had to close her eyes and wait hours to go to sleep. He made her strong and without him, she was weak. She only worked the night shift because she didn't want to see him, she only went place when she knew he would be at work. Hell sometimes she was so weak she couldn't kick faith ass or put down Elizabeth. That is what worried Carly so much.
Sonny didn't seem to give a fuck, he was happy that he had his baby sister back, and his best friend back, and they weren't together. Sometimes it hurt so much that she would cry. He own brother was happy to see her and his best friend sad, it was like a kick to the gut.
~*~ You were my strength when I was weak
You were my voice when I couldn't speak
You were my eyes when I couldn't see
You saw the best there was in me
Lifted me up when I couldn't reach
You gave me faith 'coz you believed
I'm everything I am
Because you loved me ~*~
Carly was the only one, beside Courtney and Jason about their break up. Mike was happy, Sonny was happy, and Elizabeth was over joy. She was thankful to Carly making sure Elizabeth couldn't get her claws into him. Rosie jumped up on the couch and start to lick Courtney again, she leaned into Rosie warmth and hug her friend. Rosie was always her with a smile and her tail wagging. She looked over at the coffee table where the note was. Where Jason had threw it when he came in here to ask why she had left.
Dear my love,
I have to leave you, to save my family. After seeing, Sonny pull a gun on Carly. I can't stand to hurt Sonny, Carly, Michael, or the baby by staying here. I can't be happy when I know Sonny is so hurt and has gone into that dark place. I'm sorry. I love you more then anything in this world but even our love is not worth the hurt we are causing everyone else. I'm sorry for not telling this to you face but I could look at you, I wouldn't be able to say good bye to your face. Please be happy, that is all I ask of you, to be happy. I love you.
Courtney.
Those words she wrote went over and over in her head, his love mean everything to her but she could not risk he family. She wouldn't risk her family. Roise laid her head in her lap, Courtney stroke her head as she tried not to cry, tried not to think about him.
~*~ You were always there for me
The tender wind that carried me
A light in the dark shining your love into my life
You've been my inspiration
Through the lies you were the truth
My world is a better place because of you ~*~
She smiled as she thought about how he was always there for her, how he never left her when she was in trouble. He never looked at her differently because she stripped, never thought she was dirty, but he thought she was brave because she did it for the man she loved. He always told her the truth, protect her when the storm came, held her when she cried and even when he loved her, but she was with A.J. he would send her back to him, after he held her.
He would always say that she was the best thing in his life but he was the best thing in her life too. He was her light when it was dark, her rock to hold on too when the wind blew too hard, the one that made her see the good in people. He was her life, her heart, her soul. But she gave all those things away to say her family. She had too.
But god did she want him to come through those door, pick her up and kiss her. She bent down and pick up Rosie favorite toy, the Jason had brought her. She start to play tug a war, when she heard some one open the door.
When she saw him she felt her heart lurch into her throat. It was a dream, a wish, a mirage. He wasn't here. He couldn't be here. He shouldn't be here. "Jason.....what are you doing here," she asked him, then he said the words she had long to hear.
"I'm here to fight for us, just like you did," he said and then came over to her. Kissing her like she dreamed of, that was what it had to be a dream but if it was, she didn't want to ever wake up.
~*~ You were my strength when I was weak
You were my voice when I couldn't speak
You were my eyes when I couldn't see
You saw the best there was in me
Lifted me up when I couldn't reach
You gave me faith 'coz you believed
I'm everything I am
Because you loved me
I'm everything I am
Because you loved me ~*~
A/N: Hope you liked part two, tell me what you thought
Part Two: Because You Loved Me
Courtney got up from her warm bed, her eyes puffy from crying most of the night and waking up from dreams, dreams of them together, loving each other. She tried to reason with herself, that this was the best for everyone, that she was doing the right thing. She put her bath robe on that was lying in the chair, and went to the bathroom, looking at herself. Her eyes were droopy, her face was red, her eyes almost swollen shut. She wanted so bad to go call him, to tell him that she made a mistake that she wanted him to take her back, well if he would.
She scrub her face and brushed her teeth. She went to the closet and tried to choose what to wear but she just could not get the energy to pick something out, to get dress. She went to the couch and laid down, she thought about all the times they had laid on this couch together, talking, making love, dreaming their dreams of being together.
**Flashback**
"You know I want to take you to Barcelona, show you all the sites," Jason told her as the laid together on the couch. His arms around her, her head on his chest, his hand on top of hers.
"That sounds wonderful, we would leave in the middle of the night, escape so no one would know. Well........maybe we should tell Carly so she wouldn't worry," Carly would keep their secret. Out of everyone, she was the one who was always in their corner, routing for them, wanting them together.
"Yeah Carly.......she wouldn't tell anyone. Probably want us to make a baby," he wanted to have a baby with Courtney, but it was too early in their relationship for a baby.
"Yeah she would," she laughed, but she could not imagine anything more wonderful then having Jason baby.
"Well one day we will, after we're married," he told her as he kissed her head.
"That sounds perfect," she said as she kiss his peck.
"I love you."
"I love you too," she said and moved up to kiss his mouth.
**End of Flashback**
~*~ For all those times you stood by me
For all the truth that you made me see
For all the joy you brought to my life
For all the wrong that you made right
For every dream you made come true
For all the love I found in you
I'll be forever thankful baby
You're the one who held me up
Never let me fall
You're the one who saw me through through it all ~*~
She kept, trying not to cry. She loved Jason so much but he brother needed them to be a part. Carly came over every day to check on her, to make sure she was all right. To make sure she was eating right, checking to make sure she was still in love with Jason, telling her to fight for him. Telling him to go to him. She loved Carly dearly but sometimes she just didn't get it, she was doing this for her, for Michael, for Sonny, for the baby. For her family. All she asked of Carly was making sure Jason was okay, making sure he stayed healthy, make sure he was happy. That's all she wanted him happy.
She felt a warm tongue and come and lick her face. She opened her eyes, looking at Roise. Even looking at Rosie hurt now a days, she remember all the times she thought about how they would all be here in the loft.
~*~ You were my strength when I was weak
You were my voice when I couldn't speak
You were my eyes when I couldn't see
You saw the best there was in me
Lifted me up when I couldn't reach
You gave me faith 'coz you believed
I'm everything I am
Because you loved me ~*~
She missed how Jason always believed in her, told her she could accomplish anything that anything she set her mind too. That she could go to collage and be the best there. That she could be anything she wanted to be. That she was the best in the world. If ever she doubted herself, he was right there to tell her that she was the best. Making sure that she knew that she was the best thing in his life, the only good thing in his life.
He loved her, she knew that but she had to do what she was doing for Sonny and his family. She heard her phone ring and she picked it up, "Hello," she said into the phone.
"Hey gurl, you want to go shopping," Carly said to her friend. She loved Courtney like a sister but she hated that she was hurting herself and Jason. All Jason did now a days was sit in his apartment, work, or ride his bike. He looked horrible, he must had not shaved in a while, his cloths were always wrinkled and his eyes looked almost as bad as Courtney did.
"No, Carly, I am tried really. I think I will just head back to bed," she said. She really didn't want to. She sat up on the sofa. She thought about the time she wanted Jason to go shopping, it was so funny, he hated it but he went with her.
**Flashback**
"Please Jason I want you to help me pick out what looks good on me," Courtney pleaded. She wanted Jason to like what she wore and if he came with her she would knew he liked it.
"No, Courtney you know I hate shopping," he said, "hell you and Carly do my shopping."
"Please I want you to come so I will know what you like on me," she tried to reason.
"You could wear a potato sack and I would still think you are the sexist woman alive," he went back to his paper work.
"Jason pretty please."
"Courtney have to work."
"Fine then you don't have to come to Victoria Secrets with me," she said with a wicked grin.
"Victoria Secrets.......can I go in the dressing room," he asked with a smile.
"Well maybe, but you got to go shopping with me."
"Okay, okay."
"Thank you, thank you," she went to sit on his lap.
"You welcome and remember I am only doing this cause I love you," he start to kiss her neck.
"And that will always be the only thing I need."
**End of Flashback**
~*~ You gave me wings and made me fly
You touched my hand I could touch the sky
I lost my faith, you gave it back to me
You said no star was out of reach
You stood by me and I stood tall
I had your love I had it all
I'm grateful for each day you gave me
Maybe I don't know that much
But I know this much is true
I was blessed because I was loved by you ~*~
"Hello Courtney, Courtney," Carly said and pulled her out of her thoughts.
"Oh hey sorry, but no Carly. Maybe some other time."
"I swear to god, you are coming with me Tuesday to see the Contractor, even if I have to drag you out by your hair," Carly said as she hung up. Courtney wouldn't put it pass Carly to do just that. Carly always got her way no matter what, no matter what she had to do, no matter how far she had to go and get it.
Some times, she just wanted to crawl back in the bed and pull the covers over her head and die. She had to force herself to eat, had to close her eyes and wait hours to go to sleep. He made her strong and without him, she was weak. She only worked the night shift because she didn't want to see him, she only went place when she knew he would be at work. Hell sometimes she was so weak she couldn't kick faith ass or put down Elizabeth. That is what worried Carly so much.
Sonny didn't seem to give a fuck, he was happy that he had his baby sister back, and his best friend back, and they weren't together. Sometimes it hurt so much that she would cry. He own brother was happy to see her and his best friend sad, it was like a kick to the gut.
~*~ You were my strength when I was weak
You were my voice when I couldn't speak
You were my eyes when I couldn't see
You saw the best there was in me
Lifted me up when I couldn't reach
You gave me faith 'coz you believed
I'm everything I am
Because you loved me ~*~
Carly was the only one, beside Courtney and Jason about their break up. Mike was happy, Sonny was happy, and Elizabeth was over joy. She was thankful to Carly making sure Elizabeth couldn't get her claws into him. Rosie jumped up on the couch and start to lick Courtney again, she leaned into Rosie warmth and hug her friend. Rosie was always her with a smile and her tail wagging. She looked over at the coffee table where the note was. Where Jason had threw it when he came in here to ask why she had left.
Dear my love,
I have to leave you, to save my family. After seeing, Sonny pull a gun on Carly. I can't stand to hurt Sonny, Carly, Michael, or the baby by staying here. I can't be happy when I know Sonny is so hurt and has gone into that dark place. I'm sorry. I love you more then anything in this world but even our love is not worth the hurt we are causing everyone else. I'm sorry for not telling this to you face but I could look at you, I wouldn't be able to say good bye to your face. Please be happy, that is all I ask of you, to be happy. I love you.
Courtney.
Those words she wrote went over and over in her head, his love mean everything to her but she could not risk he family. She wouldn't risk her family. Roise laid her head in her lap, Courtney stroke her head as she tried not to cry, tried not to think about him.
~*~ You were always there for me
The tender wind that carried me
A light in the dark shining your love into my life
You've been my inspiration
Through the lies you were the truth
My world is a better place because of you ~*~
She smiled as she thought about how he was always there for her, how he never left her when she was in trouble. He never looked at her differently because she stripped, never thought she was dirty, but he thought she was brave because she did it for the man she loved. He always told her the truth, protect her when the storm came, held her when she cried and even when he loved her, but she was with A.J. he would send her back to him, after he held her.
He would always say that she was the best thing in his life but he was the best thing in her life too. He was her light when it was dark, her rock to hold on too when the wind blew too hard, the one that made her see the good in people. He was her life, her heart, her soul. But she gave all those things away to say her family. She had too.
But god did she want him to come through those door, pick her up and kiss her. She bent down and pick up Rosie favorite toy, the Jason had brought her. She start to play tug a war, when she heard some one open the door.
When she saw him she felt her heart lurch into her throat. It was a dream, a wish, a mirage. He wasn't here. He couldn't be here. He shouldn't be here. "Jason.....what are you doing here," she asked him, then he said the words she had long to hear.
"I'm here to fight for us, just like you did," he said and then came over to her. Kissing her like she dreamed of, that was what it had to be a dream but if it was, she didn't want to ever wake up.
~*~ You were my strength when I was weak
You were my voice when I couldn't speak
You were my eyes when I couldn't see
You saw the best there was in me
Lifted me up when I couldn't reach
You gave me faith 'coz you believed
I'm everything I am
Because you loved me
I'm everything I am
Because you loved me ~*~
A/N: Hope you liked part two, tell me what you thought