Author: Celeste
Feedback: keviesprincess@netscape.net (flames welcome because they're funny)
Rating: PG-13
Spoilers: Um…I've only seen up to episode 61 of the anime, so anything in there is fair game?
Disclaimer: Not mine…I'm not creative enough to come up with characters as cool.
Pairing: None
Summary: Sasuke POV- What it means to be strong.
Dedication: For Prism for enduring my trespassing on her favorite universe. I'm just fooling around. Honest!
A/N: I will stop the POV fics…soon. God I'm such a cop out. But this is just easier than writing narrative, I tell you! Erm, other than that, sorry for OOCness, redundancy, stupidity, obscurity, lack-of-plot-ity… the usual. I love Sasuke to death but I don't think I can write him that well. Or Naruto, or Sakura for the matter. But it's the effort that counts, right? Right. Of course. *cough*
Distribution: Does anyone really want this? *blink*
~~~~~~~
"You should be able to at least keep us in sight," I murmur, feeling cross.
"Geez Sasuke, why do you always have to be such an asshole?!" Naruto cries from next to Sakura, shaking his fist at me and scowling.
"Hn. I just told her to get stronger," I return coolly, putting my hands in my pockets and looking nonchalant.
From the ground, Sakura looks stricken.
"At our level…she should at least be able to keep up a little better," I clarify, feeling a little bit bad at the way her muscles slump.
"Don't talk down to Sakura-chan like that! Can't you be nice to anyone?!" Naruto shrieks, ragingly indignant.
"I'm just saying what has to be said. You know it's true too. Let's keep going."
"I'm gonna kick your ass and make you apologize to Sakura-chan!"
"Naruto! It's okay…he's…he's right. Let's just finish our exercises, okay?" she intervenes, voice slightly tremulous as she forces a smile. But I can tell from the look in her eye that she knows I'm right too. She should be able to keep up at least a little better.
"But…"
Sakura puts her hand up and tries to smile at the loudmouth, even though both of us can see that she's still hurt by my words. "Let's get back to work, ne, Naruto? Kakashi-sensei is waiting."
I feel a pang of guilt in my stomach at the strained sound in her voice, but ignore it. She has to learn. She has to become strong enough to take care of herself. I don't have time. I don't have time to care about these people. To worry.
I am an avenger.
"Let's go," I murmur, before jumping back up into the trees. "Try to keep up yourself and stop worrying about others, dobe," I call back over my shoulder.
I hear Naruto's enraged shout and know that he's not far behind, threatening to kick my ass.
As we move through the woods following Kakashi's trail, I can feel Naruto's presence close behind, just a hair's breadth after me. It's comforting, I think. He's gotten stronger. And Sakura too, just a bit. We've all gotten a little bit stronger than we were.
But I know there's a lot…a lot still left for us to learn.
Before, I used to think I knew everything. I used to think there wasn't much left for me to learn because I knew most of it already.
I always thought I was strong.
That I was the best.
I was an Uchiha.
We were a strong family, you know. One of Konoha's finest.
My dad always told us that. Me and my brother. He always told us that our family was a proud family, and that the both of us…the both of us were strong.
That we would be great.
I always, always believed it. It seemed…unquestionable…at the time. I saw his strength. I saw my mother's strength. My brother's. I thought I saw my own, too. In there. Because I was Uchiha too. I was one of them. I was strong like them, because of my blood.
I dreamed about becoming a great ninja. To make my family proud.
Like they were…
…of my brother.
I wanted them to be proud of me too. I promised my mother that I would be great, someday. That I would be great and make the Uchiha name even greater than it already was.
She always told me…
…she always said that she knew I would.
She knew it. Absolutely.
And that…
…that made me feel stronger than anything.
Everything felt like it was in my control. My destiny. I was Uchiha. I was strong.
I had them.
I had my family. I had my blood and it was strong. Just knowing that, made me powerful.
But…
...I guess that was stupid of me. I was such…a weak child. I believed…I really believed that everything would be the way it should just because the Uchiha were strong. We were a strong family. But I guess it was stupid of me to believe…
…that just because someone says so…
…you're strong.
But then suddenly, everything changed, didn't it? That control…that control of my destiny changed. My blood wasn't as strong as I thought it was. My family…
I was never really strong at all. I never really had control of anything, at all.
I couldn't really do anything.
I guess that's why, I try to keep things in my control now. Naruto, that idiot… he doesn't understand…
…how dangerous everything is. When there are so many people stronger than you, it's dangerous. You can't just charge in and believe that you can always win. That you're strong. That's why, I try to show them. I try to show them both how really weak we all are. If…if they can't even keep up with me, then what? And I don't…
…I don't want to be reminded again. One day, when we're on a mission, I don't want to be reminded about how much we still have to learn. I can't…
…I don't want to walk into a place and see them there again. And be reminded again, of how weak I really am. How much things are out of my control.
The last time I learned…the last time…
…death.
There was so much death.
And I really, really learned that I wasn't…
…I wasn't as strong as I thought I was.
Really, I was weak. I was so weak.
I couldn't do anything. I had thought I was so strong. But I couldn't… not a damn thing.
And… everyone I loved…
…everyone that I loved in the world…
…died.
I felt so helpless. Everything was out of control.
There was nothing I could do. I was so small and it was all out of my control.
I had thought…
…I had thought that just being an Uchiha made me strong. Father always told us that, hadn't he? I believed it, too. I believed it like it was the only true thing in the world.
But then…there was so much death.
And I started to believe that everything I'd known had been a lie. We weren't that strong, after all, were we? To be destroyed the way we were…we weren't that strong.
My brother…
…he showed me how weak I was.
And I became an avenger. I swore that my life…what was left of it…would be dedicated. Would be dedicated to revenge.
I needed to prove…
…that the Uchiha were strong. That father had been right, that mother had believed in the truth. We were strong.
I promised that I wouldn't let the things my father told me become a lie.
I promised that I would be strong.
Maybe I hadn't been then, but I would be. Even…
…even if I had to give up everything else in the world to prove it.
I am an avenger. For the sake of my most precious people…the people I couldn't protect that day… I have to become strong for them.
I loved them so much.
I couldn't protect them, that day. I wasn't strong enough. I wasn't nearly strong enough.
But…
…I will never forget them. I'll live for them now, live to make it true.
Father always said…the Uchiha were strong.
I'll make it true.
I am an avenger.
The lone survivor.
The…
…last.
I'm all I have left. There's just…
…my revenge.
And to keep my control over that, I have to become stronger. At least, as strong as him.
Because I'm an avenger.
It's all I have left.
"Sakura-chan, are you okay?"
"Aa. I'm… okay, Naruto."
"Keep up, you two. Kakashi won't stay in the same place for long."
"Asshole!"
"Dobe…"
"I'm going to kick your ass!!"
"Keep up first."
There's so much for us to learn. Doesn't Naruto see that? There's so much strength we don't have yet. We have to keep growing. Otherwise…
…when we're forced to learn how weak we really are…
…how weak we are…
…there will be death.
"It's noon. Kakashi must have moved by now. We'll keep going and see if we can pick up his trail," I announce, stopping briefly on a tree branch.
"Che. Why are we following you anyway? We've been chasing Kakashi-sensei all day and we haven't even gotten close! I'm hungry!"
"We don't have time to stop."
"Says who!? You're not the boss here!"
"Naruto. Sasuke's right. We can't stop. Ne… and Kakashi-sensei said he'd treat us to ramen if we caught up to him, right?" Sakura intervenes breathlessly.
"Ooooh yeah!!! Ramen, ramen, ramen! YOU HEAR THAT KAKASHI-SENSEI? I'm going to find you and make you buy me a biiiiiiiig bowl of ramen!!"
"Shut up, idiot! How is telling him exactly where we are going to help you get your stupid ramen?"
Naruto scowls at me, but I can tell by the way he hunches that he realizes I'm right. I snort and turn my back to him. We're all quiet for a moment.
"We should keep moving."
Without a backwards glance, I start off again.
I hear Sakura take a deep breath behind me, even though Naruto's litany of miffed grumbling is the most prominent sound in my ears.
I slow down slightly, tell myself that there's no point in wasting energy rushing to the place we've been trailing Kakashi-sensei to because he isn't there anymore.
It's just a little bit. Actually, I'm sure neither of them can notice it anyway. It's just… to give myself time to plan our next move.
Before I know it, Naruto catches up to me, and for a moment, we are side by side. He looks over to me and grins, wide and smug. "Keep up, Sasuke!!" he shouts to me before overtaking me completely.
I watch after him, and somehow, I don't feel annoyed at the challenge he's presenting, the smirk that reaches from one ear to the other as he plows ahead of me. I smile a little to myself as well.
We've gotten…
…just a little bit stronger.
All of us.
And that…makes me glad.
That we could all get a little bit stronger together.
"Sasuke…you…don't…you didn't have to slow down for me. I'll be okay."
Sakura's voice stirs me, and I look back at her from the corner of my eye, where she continues gamely on. I'm surprised, I guess. That she noticed.
But maybe I'm not too surprised.
"You can go ahead and catch up with Naruto. I'll be all right."
"Che. Who said I slowed down?"
She smiles a little. "Oh. Never mind then."
I look away. "We'll stop for a little while when we get to the last spot Kakashi-sensei stopped."
Before she can say anything, I speed up a little again so that I'm just behind Naruto.
I am an avenger.
I tell myself that all the time. I never let myself forget it. That is what drives me.
I need to be strong.
I am an avenger.
But lately…
…I think it's not all I have, really. It's not the only thing I have left.
Lately… something else drives me a little bit too.
I'm glad, that we could get a little stronger together. The three of us.
There's still a lot to do. We're still, we're very weak. But, we're a little bit stronger now.
"Sasuke, Sakura! Look! Kakashi-sensei left a clue!"
"I'm surprised you could actually concentrate hard enough to see it, dobe."
"Shut up, Sasuke! I…"
"…good job."
"Eh?"
"He's heading north, then. He shouldn't be too far ahead, I think. We'll take a short break and follow after."
Lately, something else drives me a little bit too.
To get stronger.
I know, I know I'm still weak. And I am still an avenger.
But there are other reasons too. Other reasons to get stronger.
I know that I'm weak still.
But I'll be strong someday.
So that…if the same thing happens again…
"Naruto, Sakura…let's go. If we move fast, we can catch him. We've almost got him."
…this time…this time…
…I can protect them.
I'll be strong enough to protect them.
"We're almost there."
My precious people.
END