::A/N::
________ =Flashbacks/thoughts
(( ____ ))=Diary/Journal entries or just things one of them wrote **FYI: I wrote all of the poems, ect so please ask before you take and give me credit cuz copyin and pastin dont take skill.... **
*** _____ ***=Song lyrics- look at the song credits at the end of each chapter....
disclaimer: I don't own the HP series, yada yada...
Fic Info:
Title: Whispers of Suicide
Rating: R for violence, gore, suicide, drug use, heavy language, some sexual situations
Summary:
Draco is struggling with his life- his suicide attempts getting worse and worse...
Pansy is fighting with her all to keep him alive, but he is slowly dragging her down with him...
Other Info:
Told in different POVs, each time ** is put between text, the POV changes. Contains things like letters, diary entries, song lyrics, and the occasional "Daily Prophet" article. Told in a very interesting and capturing way....
******************************************************************************************************
...**Chapter 6**...
You try to defeat me. Why must you push away my love? You're killing yourself slowly- pulling me with you. I only have one thing to say. If you won't help yourself- I won't help you. So you can just go fucking die.
Pansy stared into the fireplace, the flames reflecting in her tired eyes. Draco appeared in the doorway to the boys' dormitory, his expression filled with sorrow. "Pansy..." He breathed. "Help."
**
-THE DAILY PROPHET-
On the eve of December 12, Mr. Lucius Malfoy was found brutally murdered in his home in Effingham, Surrey. Mr. Malfoy worked for the Ministry, and investigators believe the killer may have been from somewhere inside the Ministry. Though few suspects have been pointed out, Mr. Malfoy had many enemies that will be investigated. Mr. Malfoy was 45, and left behind a son, Draco, 16. His wife, Narcissa Malfoy, died in April of this year. The wake will be held tomorrow night, 7-8pm at Mr. Malfoy's home in Effingham, followed by his funeral services on Saturday morning.
**
Left alone now, in the darkness of your unlived life. And now, I hate you.
**
Pansy sobbed into Draco's arm, muffling her cries into his sleeve. He gently stroked her arm, staring straight ahead at the casket. It was closed, due to the magnitude of his father's injuries. Draco was locked up in his mind, not feeling any pain except for that for Pansy. His father had been almost a father to her once hers had died years before. Mr. Parkinson had abused her, and Pansy would run to Lucius when she needed someone to give her shelter and care. Lucius wasn't known for his kindness, which he kept in the secret of his home. Draco listened as they read to the huge crowd about his life, hearing his own name mentioned many times.
Why.
**
***I'm so tired of being here.
Surpressed by all my childish fears.
And if you have to leave,
I wish that you would just leave.
Cause your presence still lingers here,
and it won't leave me alone.
These wounds won't seem to heal,
this pain is just too real.
There's just too much that time cannot erase.
When you'd cry, I'd wipe away all of your tears.
When you'd scream, I'd fight away all of your fears.
I've held your hand through all of these years.
And you still have...all of me.
You used to captivate me,
by your resonating light.
Now I'm bound by the life you left behind.
Your face it haunts my once pleasent dreams
Your voice it chased away all the sanity in me
......
I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone.
And though you're still with me,
I've been alone...
all alone....***
**
Draco sat, curled up against the wall in the corner of the dormitory. Everyone else was away at classes, which he had been excused from for as long as he felt fit. He rocked, back and forth....back and forth. He could hear his father's voice in his ears....ringing.....louder....
"Get the hell out of my face! You're nothing! You'll go nowhere! You put the name of Malfoy to shame!"
Draco could still feel the tingle on his cheek where his father had hit him so many times...He remembered the last thing he'd said to him, and it made his heart fall, his lungs slam shut.
"I hate you, Dad! I never want to see you again!"
Draco pulled out his pocket knife, examining the blade as it glinted off the candle light...
**
**Nothing's gonna change the things that you said.
Nothing's gonna make this right again.
....
I'm sorry I can't be perfect."
**
Pansy ran down the corridor, her footsteps echoing off the stone walls. Her breathing was heavy, her heart pounding. She remembered the professor's words... "We found him...in the dormitory...."
She suddenly ran into something, falling backwards onto the ground. "Shit, Pansy," she heard a familiar voice say, seeing a hand being stuck out to her. Hermione Granger was standing above her, offering her her hand. Pansy got up on her own, glaring at her. "Out of my way, Granger." "I hear your little boyfriend went suicidal on you. Again." Hermione leaned against the wall, crossing her arms across her chest. "Fuck you." "Better find him before he slits his throat AND his wrists." Pansy whirled around and pulled out her wand, aiming it at Hermione. "Richta Sempra!" Hermione flew backwards, landing about 30 feet down the corridor on her back, moaning in pain. "You leave me the FUCK alone, Granger!" Pansy took off down the hallway again, her hair flying behind her.
**
Draco was standing in the corner of the room- a knife to his throat. His wrists were wrapped in a thin cloth, covering where the healing spell had been performed. Pansy stopped in the doorway, still breathing hard. "Draco." Her voice trembled. "Draco stop this right NOW." Draco shook his head. "Sorry, Pans. You can't save me this time. Not again."
"Draco- put the knife down, now."
"I'm sorry, I can't do that." He pressed it closer to his skin, his expression blank.
Pansy walked towards him, holding her hand out.
"Back the FUCK off, Pansy."
"Give me the knife, Draco."
"Screw this fucking life! I want to die!"
Memories of the night came back to both of them. Draco was less then fazed, but Pansy walked closer, cautiously, with fear in her eyes.
"Draco you've got to stop."
He pressed it closer, and Pansy pulled out her wand.
"Don't make me use this, Draco."
He stood frozen. He lowered the knife, and walked towards her. She swallowed, and he smiled slyly at her. Pansy could feel his sanity flooding his mind with each step he took. He wasn't himself. He was...someone....someone bad. He came close enough to her that she could feel his warm breath on her face. His put his arms around her, pulling her into a rough kiss. She tried to fight him, tasting the alcohol in his mouth. He pulled away, but only centimeters away, their noses still touching. The cold blade of the knife grazed her throat as he pulled it across her skin, barely tuching her with it. The sly grin reminaed on his face as he said...
"If I fall you're going down with me."
~*~
OMG how could i do this to pansy after all shes done?!?! and whats this with Hermione being some evil bitch?!? maybe you'll see why....soon....
so, reviews yada yada, sorry its been so long, but i have been...um...preoccupied...
i am scaring myself with this story. *grins slyly*
but i love making my stories so.....complicated. *muhahahaha*
::Song Credits::
Evanescence- My Immortal
Simple Plan- Perfect
more soon
sara
PS: What's up with The Millie thing? you'll see...in time...
________ =Flashbacks/thoughts
(( ____ ))=Diary/Journal entries or just things one of them wrote **FYI: I wrote all of the poems, ect so please ask before you take and give me credit cuz copyin and pastin dont take skill.... **
*** _____ ***=Song lyrics- look at the song credits at the end of each chapter....
disclaimer: I don't own the HP series, yada yada...
Fic Info:
Title: Whispers of Suicide
Rating: R for violence, gore, suicide, drug use, heavy language, some sexual situations
Summary:
Draco is struggling with his life- his suicide attempts getting worse and worse...
Pansy is fighting with her all to keep him alive, but he is slowly dragging her down with him...
Other Info:
Told in different POVs, each time ** is put between text, the POV changes. Contains things like letters, diary entries, song lyrics, and the occasional "Daily Prophet" article. Told in a very interesting and capturing way....
******************************************************************************************************
...**Chapter 6**...
You try to defeat me. Why must you push away my love? You're killing yourself slowly- pulling me with you. I only have one thing to say. If you won't help yourself- I won't help you. So you can just go fucking die.
Pansy stared into the fireplace, the flames reflecting in her tired eyes. Draco appeared in the doorway to the boys' dormitory, his expression filled with sorrow. "Pansy..." He breathed. "Help."
**
-THE DAILY PROPHET-
On the eve of December 12, Mr. Lucius Malfoy was found brutally murdered in his home in Effingham, Surrey. Mr. Malfoy worked for the Ministry, and investigators believe the killer may have been from somewhere inside the Ministry. Though few suspects have been pointed out, Mr. Malfoy had many enemies that will be investigated. Mr. Malfoy was 45, and left behind a son, Draco, 16. His wife, Narcissa Malfoy, died in April of this year. The wake will be held tomorrow night, 7-8pm at Mr. Malfoy's home in Effingham, followed by his funeral services on Saturday morning.
**
Left alone now, in the darkness of your unlived life. And now, I hate you.
**
Pansy sobbed into Draco's arm, muffling her cries into his sleeve. He gently stroked her arm, staring straight ahead at the casket. It was closed, due to the magnitude of his father's injuries. Draco was locked up in his mind, not feeling any pain except for that for Pansy. His father had been almost a father to her once hers had died years before. Mr. Parkinson had abused her, and Pansy would run to Lucius when she needed someone to give her shelter and care. Lucius wasn't known for his kindness, which he kept in the secret of his home. Draco listened as they read to the huge crowd about his life, hearing his own name mentioned many times.
Why.
**
***I'm so tired of being here.
Surpressed by all my childish fears.
And if you have to leave,
I wish that you would just leave.
Cause your presence still lingers here,
and it won't leave me alone.
These wounds won't seem to heal,
this pain is just too real.
There's just too much that time cannot erase.
When you'd cry, I'd wipe away all of your tears.
When you'd scream, I'd fight away all of your fears.
I've held your hand through all of these years.
And you still have...all of me.
You used to captivate me,
by your resonating light.
Now I'm bound by the life you left behind.
Your face it haunts my once pleasent dreams
Your voice it chased away all the sanity in me
......
I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone.
And though you're still with me,
I've been alone...
all alone....***
**
Draco sat, curled up against the wall in the corner of the dormitory. Everyone else was away at classes, which he had been excused from for as long as he felt fit. He rocked, back and forth....back and forth. He could hear his father's voice in his ears....ringing.....louder....
"Get the hell out of my face! You're nothing! You'll go nowhere! You put the name of Malfoy to shame!"
Draco could still feel the tingle on his cheek where his father had hit him so many times...He remembered the last thing he'd said to him, and it made his heart fall, his lungs slam shut.
"I hate you, Dad! I never want to see you again!"
Draco pulled out his pocket knife, examining the blade as it glinted off the candle light...
**
**Nothing's gonna change the things that you said.
Nothing's gonna make this right again.
....
I'm sorry I can't be perfect."
**
Pansy ran down the corridor, her footsteps echoing off the stone walls. Her breathing was heavy, her heart pounding. She remembered the professor's words... "We found him...in the dormitory...."
She suddenly ran into something, falling backwards onto the ground. "Shit, Pansy," she heard a familiar voice say, seeing a hand being stuck out to her. Hermione Granger was standing above her, offering her her hand. Pansy got up on her own, glaring at her. "Out of my way, Granger." "I hear your little boyfriend went suicidal on you. Again." Hermione leaned against the wall, crossing her arms across her chest. "Fuck you." "Better find him before he slits his throat AND his wrists." Pansy whirled around and pulled out her wand, aiming it at Hermione. "Richta Sempra!" Hermione flew backwards, landing about 30 feet down the corridor on her back, moaning in pain. "You leave me the FUCK alone, Granger!" Pansy took off down the hallway again, her hair flying behind her.
**
Draco was standing in the corner of the room- a knife to his throat. His wrists were wrapped in a thin cloth, covering where the healing spell had been performed. Pansy stopped in the doorway, still breathing hard. "Draco." Her voice trembled. "Draco stop this right NOW." Draco shook his head. "Sorry, Pans. You can't save me this time. Not again."
"Draco- put the knife down, now."
"I'm sorry, I can't do that." He pressed it closer to his skin, his expression blank.
Pansy walked towards him, holding her hand out.
"Back the FUCK off, Pansy."
"Give me the knife, Draco."
"Screw this fucking life! I want to die!"
Memories of the night came back to both of them. Draco was less then fazed, but Pansy walked closer, cautiously, with fear in her eyes.
"Draco you've got to stop."
He pressed it closer, and Pansy pulled out her wand.
"Don't make me use this, Draco."
He stood frozen. He lowered the knife, and walked towards her. She swallowed, and he smiled slyly at her. Pansy could feel his sanity flooding his mind with each step he took. He wasn't himself. He was...someone....someone bad. He came close enough to her that she could feel his warm breath on her face. His put his arms around her, pulling her into a rough kiss. She tried to fight him, tasting the alcohol in his mouth. He pulled away, but only centimeters away, their noses still touching. The cold blade of the knife grazed her throat as he pulled it across her skin, barely tuching her with it. The sly grin reminaed on his face as he said...
"If I fall you're going down with me."
~*~
OMG how could i do this to pansy after all shes done?!?! and whats this with Hermione being some evil bitch?!? maybe you'll see why....soon....
so, reviews yada yada, sorry its been so long, but i have been...um...preoccupied...
i am scaring myself with this story. *grins slyly*
but i love making my stories so.....complicated. *muhahahaha*
::Song Credits::
Evanescence- My Immortal
Simple Plan- Perfect
more soon
sara
PS: What's up with The Millie thing? you'll see...in time...