Chapter Five: My Baby You
When she said yes, I thought my heart stopped. She was going to dance with me. I was going to be able to hold her into my arms. This is the perfect time to tell her but will I be able to. Will I be able to get the words out? Those three little words. I lead her out to the dance floor and take her deep into my arms. Her soft body pressed against me. Her body warming my own. She fits against me so well. Like to pieces of a puzzle.
Her head goes under my chin, her arms around my neck, my own on her lower back. I love how she feels against me. I have never felt so good in my life. I have never felt so whole in my life. I am so in love with her it hurts. She leans back and looks at me. Her eyes are the bluest I have ever seen. So sweet, kind, so innocent but they are like mine. They close up. They show nothing of her feelings. Just her innocence.
~*~ As I look into your eyes
I see all the reasons why
My life's worth a thousand skies
You're the simplest love I've known
And the purest one I'll own
Know you'll never be alone My baby you
Are the reason I could fly
And cause of you
I don't have to wonder why
Baby You ~*~
*~*
What is that in his eyes? Is it love? No, no stop getting your hopes up. It is you imagination playing tricks on you. He does not love you. He likes you as a friend. No where in that sentence says love. I look at him. I hate that I can't read his eyes. I hate that I can't tell what he is thinking. All I know is that when I feel close to him I feel so cherished. So, love. Why do I feel love if he doesn't love me.
"So, um, how's Liz," I ask him in my friendliest tone. I hate talking about her. She has him and I don't. It's either jealousy, or envy. I am leaning towards jealousy.
"She's good, how's A.J.," I hear the strain in his voice. It still hurts him to talk about A.J., well I can understand that. A.J. is the one that almost killed him. Brain damaged him. It is his fault that Jason can't remember anything.
"He's gone for the weekend but other then that he's doing well, Hess stop drinking," I add. Why did I add that. What's the point. I want him so why am I putting up this front for him. I hear Carly and Sonny talking, kissing each other. Then Carly turns to me.
"Court, Jase, do u mind closing up the place me and my baby want to head home," she says with a smile not one man or woman could say no too. Now I no how she always gets her way. I look at Jason and he looks a little uncomfortable but if he wants to leave after they go that's fine with me. But if he stays, maybe that would be the perfect time to tell him. 'Please let him stay' I say to myself
~*~ There's no more just getting by
You're the reason I feel so alive
Though these words I sing are true
They still fail to capture you
As mere words can only do
How do I explain that smile
And how it turns my world around
Keeping my feet on the ground ~*~
*~*
Okay I am not sure if that is good or not. Being alone with Courtney that is, I guess it is a good thing but the other part of me says it could be bad. I might want to act on my feeling instead just telling her them. Dammit all to hell, why does this happens to me. Sonny and Carly come up to us and say their good-byes. Once they are gone, I look at Courtney. God she looks gorgeous. That dress, that body, her face, and her smile.
"Um...if you want to get back to Liz then you can I mean I don't mind you know?" she say to me. God if she only knew. I want nothing to do with that annoying woman, not to mention I don't want to leave her. I love her, I wish I could tell her that. But tonight I am, there is not going to be any wishing about it.
"No, no Courtney we have to talk okay, um I have to tell you something important," I see the confusion pass her eyes. Tonight there would be no more confusion about what they feel. She would know I love her and I would know if she loves me or not. God do I hope she does though.
"Okay what about," she says, I love her voice it is so sexy and husky. I could listen to that voice for my whole life and I wish I could but I am do not if I will ever be able too. She is married to A.J. and she will never leave him.
~*~ My baby you
Are the reason I could fly
And cause of you
I don't have to wonder why
Baby You
There's no more just getting by
You're the reason I feel so alive
Though these words I sing are true
They still fail to capture you ~*~
*~*
What does he want to talk to me about? Does he want to tell me he loves me? No stop thinking like that, he wants to tell you that he can't see you anymore that you are to clinging to him. That he can't handle seeing you with lovesick puppy look on you face and not get sick. I brace my heart for the blow. I think I can handle, I have to handle it. "Courtney you see I have been having these um feeling and um I am not sure um to tell you. God I suck at things like this," he had feeling for her. What kind of feelings, were the feeling like a friend.
"What kind of feeling Jason?" I hear myself ask, I want to know. Don't I? Yes of course. I know I do but what if it something bad. Okay deep breaths Courtney. You want to know, this is what you have been waiting for. I am going to sit here and listen to him. I will sit here and listen to what he will say and whatever he says I will understand.
~*~ As mere words can only do
How do I explain that smile
And how it turns my world around
Keeping my feet on the ground
I will sooth you if you fall
I'll be right there if you call
You're my greatest love of all
My baby you
Are the reason I could fly
And cause of you
I don't have to wonder why
Baby You ~*~
*~*
I look at her face, she looks worried. Well why shouldn't she be, I mean you are going to tell her that you love her. That you love your brother's wife. Okay Jason deep breaths. You can do this. You will do this. Now. "Courtney my feelings I feel for you are not what the should be, I mean you are with my brother. I can't have these feelings, I am not supposed but I can't help um that um I um lo.......," I stop when I hear the voice, of god why did she always come at the wrong time . I was about to tell the love of me life that I love her, that I want to be with her when the nightmare comes here.
"Jason what are you still doing here," she says as she comes down the stairs. I wish she would just vanished or paint the wind and go fly in it. When I feel her, touch I close me eyes pretending it is Courtney.
When I open them, I see Courtney leaving. "Wait Courtney I need to talk to you, please," I say to her. I hear the pleading in my voice and almost think it is someone else's. She looks back at me and I see the hurt. I want to go wrap my arms around her and take the pain away myself.
"I think you and Liz needs to talk," with that, she walks up the stairs, not looking back. I feel the urge to cry. God my hate is growing and growing for Liz, I have never hit a woman in my life but tonight I am very close to decking Liz. I turn to face her.
"Don't you get it Liz or does something have to hit you, I DON'T WANT YOU! I WANT COURTNEY!!!" I yell at her. Jesus. I just want Courtney, I fall into a chair and put my head in my hands. I feel one tear fall as I hear Elizabeth close the door I smile a little. I hope she out of my life but the one woman I love maybe too.
~*~ There's no more just getting by
You're the reason I feel so alive
Though these words I sing are true
They still fail to capture you
As mere words can only do
How do I explain that smile
And how it turns my world around
Keeping my feet on the ground
Arianna I feel so alive ~*~
A/N: Okay was it okay, not as long as the other. A lot of people are asking who these songs are by, well here are the ones I have so for and for now on I will start to write who they are by, the first one Nobody Knows It But Me is by Babyface (chapter One), along with Reason for breathing (chapter Four), and All I ever wanted (Chapter Two) was by Mariah Carey. This song My Baby You, by Marc Anthony. I hope this works and I am sorry for not posting them in the beginning. I am a huge fan of Babyface and All-4-One and I think as the chapters go on you will see I will be using them a lot, along with some older stuff. I hope you continue to read this fic. Love, Ashley.
When she said yes, I thought my heart stopped. She was going to dance with me. I was going to be able to hold her into my arms. This is the perfect time to tell her but will I be able to. Will I be able to get the words out? Those three little words. I lead her out to the dance floor and take her deep into my arms. Her soft body pressed against me. Her body warming my own. She fits against me so well. Like to pieces of a puzzle.
Her head goes under my chin, her arms around my neck, my own on her lower back. I love how she feels against me. I have never felt so good in my life. I have never felt so whole in my life. I am so in love with her it hurts. She leans back and looks at me. Her eyes are the bluest I have ever seen. So sweet, kind, so innocent but they are like mine. They close up. They show nothing of her feelings. Just her innocence.
~*~ As I look into your eyes
I see all the reasons why
My life's worth a thousand skies
You're the simplest love I've known
And the purest one I'll own
Know you'll never be alone My baby you
Are the reason I could fly
And cause of you
I don't have to wonder why
Baby You ~*~
*~*
What is that in his eyes? Is it love? No, no stop getting your hopes up. It is you imagination playing tricks on you. He does not love you. He likes you as a friend. No where in that sentence says love. I look at him. I hate that I can't read his eyes. I hate that I can't tell what he is thinking. All I know is that when I feel close to him I feel so cherished. So, love. Why do I feel love if he doesn't love me.
"So, um, how's Liz," I ask him in my friendliest tone. I hate talking about her. She has him and I don't. It's either jealousy, or envy. I am leaning towards jealousy.
"She's good, how's A.J.," I hear the strain in his voice. It still hurts him to talk about A.J., well I can understand that. A.J. is the one that almost killed him. Brain damaged him. It is his fault that Jason can't remember anything.
"He's gone for the weekend but other then that he's doing well, Hess stop drinking," I add. Why did I add that. What's the point. I want him so why am I putting up this front for him. I hear Carly and Sonny talking, kissing each other. Then Carly turns to me.
"Court, Jase, do u mind closing up the place me and my baby want to head home," she says with a smile not one man or woman could say no too. Now I no how she always gets her way. I look at Jason and he looks a little uncomfortable but if he wants to leave after they go that's fine with me. But if he stays, maybe that would be the perfect time to tell him. 'Please let him stay' I say to myself
~*~ There's no more just getting by
You're the reason I feel so alive
Though these words I sing are true
They still fail to capture you
As mere words can only do
How do I explain that smile
And how it turns my world around
Keeping my feet on the ground ~*~
*~*
Okay I am not sure if that is good or not. Being alone with Courtney that is, I guess it is a good thing but the other part of me says it could be bad. I might want to act on my feeling instead just telling her them. Dammit all to hell, why does this happens to me. Sonny and Carly come up to us and say their good-byes. Once they are gone, I look at Courtney. God she looks gorgeous. That dress, that body, her face, and her smile.
"Um...if you want to get back to Liz then you can I mean I don't mind you know?" she say to me. God if she only knew. I want nothing to do with that annoying woman, not to mention I don't want to leave her. I love her, I wish I could tell her that. But tonight I am, there is not going to be any wishing about it.
"No, no Courtney we have to talk okay, um I have to tell you something important," I see the confusion pass her eyes. Tonight there would be no more confusion about what they feel. She would know I love her and I would know if she loves me or not. God do I hope she does though.
"Okay what about," she says, I love her voice it is so sexy and husky. I could listen to that voice for my whole life and I wish I could but I am do not if I will ever be able too. She is married to A.J. and she will never leave him.
~*~ My baby you
Are the reason I could fly
And cause of you
I don't have to wonder why
Baby You
There's no more just getting by
You're the reason I feel so alive
Though these words I sing are true
They still fail to capture you ~*~
*~*
What does he want to talk to me about? Does he want to tell me he loves me? No stop thinking like that, he wants to tell you that he can't see you anymore that you are to clinging to him. That he can't handle seeing you with lovesick puppy look on you face and not get sick. I brace my heart for the blow. I think I can handle, I have to handle it. "Courtney you see I have been having these um feeling and um I am not sure um to tell you. God I suck at things like this," he had feeling for her. What kind of feelings, were the feeling like a friend.
"What kind of feeling Jason?" I hear myself ask, I want to know. Don't I? Yes of course. I know I do but what if it something bad. Okay deep breaths Courtney. You want to know, this is what you have been waiting for. I am going to sit here and listen to him. I will sit here and listen to what he will say and whatever he says I will understand.
~*~ As mere words can only do
How do I explain that smile
And how it turns my world around
Keeping my feet on the ground
I will sooth you if you fall
I'll be right there if you call
You're my greatest love of all
My baby you
Are the reason I could fly
And cause of you
I don't have to wonder why
Baby You ~*~
*~*
I look at her face, she looks worried. Well why shouldn't she be, I mean you are going to tell her that you love her. That you love your brother's wife. Okay Jason deep breaths. You can do this. You will do this. Now. "Courtney my feelings I feel for you are not what the should be, I mean you are with my brother. I can't have these feelings, I am not supposed but I can't help um that um I um lo.......," I stop when I hear the voice, of god why did she always come at the wrong time . I was about to tell the love of me life that I love her, that I want to be with her when the nightmare comes here.
"Jason what are you still doing here," she says as she comes down the stairs. I wish she would just vanished or paint the wind and go fly in it. When I feel her, touch I close me eyes pretending it is Courtney.
When I open them, I see Courtney leaving. "Wait Courtney I need to talk to you, please," I say to her. I hear the pleading in my voice and almost think it is someone else's. She looks back at me and I see the hurt. I want to go wrap my arms around her and take the pain away myself.
"I think you and Liz needs to talk," with that, she walks up the stairs, not looking back. I feel the urge to cry. God my hate is growing and growing for Liz, I have never hit a woman in my life but tonight I am very close to decking Liz. I turn to face her.
"Don't you get it Liz or does something have to hit you, I DON'T WANT YOU! I WANT COURTNEY!!!" I yell at her. Jesus. I just want Courtney, I fall into a chair and put my head in my hands. I feel one tear fall as I hear Elizabeth close the door I smile a little. I hope she out of my life but the one woman I love maybe too.
~*~ There's no more just getting by
You're the reason I feel so alive
Though these words I sing are true
They still fail to capture you
As mere words can only do
How do I explain that smile
And how it turns my world around
Keeping my feet on the ground
Arianna I feel so alive ~*~
A/N: Okay was it okay, not as long as the other. A lot of people are asking who these songs are by, well here are the ones I have so for and for now on I will start to write who they are by, the first one Nobody Knows It But Me is by Babyface (chapter One), along with Reason for breathing (chapter Four), and All I ever wanted (Chapter Two) was by Mariah Carey. This song My Baby You, by Marc Anthony. I hope this works and I am sorry for not posting them in the beginning. I am a huge fan of Babyface and All-4-One and I think as the chapters go on you will see I will be using them a lot, along with some older stuff. I hope you continue to read this fic. Love, Ashley.