Okay, I must admit that I have no reason at all to write this fic, I just wanted to write what was on my mind down. Enough said.
Pairing: Isaac/Garet. Don't like? Don't read.
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People are strange in such ways. I sighed, shoving my sword into the fire, watching the flames dance around the blade like a choreographed dance. It really wasn't supposed to turn out this way, was it? Was this all supposed to happen, this endless traveling of ours? Perhaps our lives were predetermined, or we were being controlled by some stronger life force. I shuddered. I hate it when I'm not in control of things. Which was probably why I hated the feeling that was stirring inside me at that moment in time.
We were all sitting around the inn table. It was a silent moment for once, a time where no one had anything to say. The only sound we could hear in the seemingly desolate inn was the clink of silverware against plates. No one made any sudden noises- it just seemed all too predictable at the moment.
Sighing, I poured myself a glass of wine and ate some more stew. The stew I ate quickly, quietly, and efficiently- the taste of lamb still lingers in my mouth. Now, the wine- I couldn't bring myself to drink it at the moment. I was staring at the crimson substance, looking at it as if it was the answer to all my troubles. But of course, when you really need something, it never comes on time. I couldn't clear my head of my troubled thoughts, and for once alcohol wouldn't help me one bit.
I excused myself, pooling out a few coins to pay for my part of the share. The others all stared at me. I was the leader, the person who took charge of everything, the person who usually worked out all situations- and I looked like I was going to be sent to death. I looked pale and worried- god damn it, I felt worried. I met there glances solidly, a part of myself dying as I looked each of them in the eye.
Sweeping up the
glass of wine, I made my way upstairs, handling the glass carefully. Of course,
that's where I am now. Upstairs, staring at the fire, handling the glass of
wine still. My blade was unsheathed, still in the fire. The embers still
flickered on. Everything seemed so dark; the only source of illumination would
be the fire. I sank into a wooden chair, leaning into it, still glancing at the
wine and the fire.
It wasn't supposed to happen. It was a quest, a mission, and we couldn't make
way for any other- disruptions. I turned red, even when I was alone, thinking
about it. No one said anything about falling in love in the middle of such a
life-or-death quest. Especially not with your best friend. I groaned, the
realization coming to me. I knew that I wanted him, but I never really paid
attention to it until a few weeks ago…
The fire reminded me painfully of Garet, my best friend, companion, training partner, everything. Sure, he was arrogant, sometimes rude and rash, but in general, he was good at heart. The flickering flames reminded me of Garet's hair, the way it stuck up above him, and the fire itself… Garet was a Mars Adept, attached to the fire in a way I never could understand. It said so much about him. Harsh flare-ups could be his temper, but the color would represent a sense of goodness and warmth inside.
I finally took a sip of wine, feeling the rich taste of it in my mouth. I sighed, thinking about Garet and the others once more. I knew Garet way too long to think of him in such a way as I was, but I couldn't help it. Damn, why couldn't I have chosen someone else? Anyone else? There was Sheba, Jenna, and Mia. Three beautiful girls, one elegant, one hot-tempered but happy, and one so kind… I've heard them before. They all wanted me in a way. Well, maybe not Sheba, but I heard Mia's wistful daydreams, and as for Jenna- another long time friend. It was obvious it was jealous as Mia told of the time she and I spent together. They loved me, but I could never love them. It made me feel sick in a way. And as for the others… It didn't mix.
I took my sword out of the fire, feeling the hot touch of the metal. It calmed me in a way- as if Garet was there with me. Haven't you noticed that most of the time, the things you yearn for the most are always out of your grasp? I put the sword down right next to the flames, seeing the sheen the metal and the flare gave off.
Nearly crying at the unfairness of it all, I spilled the remaining wine into the fire, watching it flare up on the fuel. I glanced at myself quickly, checking what I was wearing. I felt automatically disgusted. I should have had a normal life in Vale, growing up and learning more psyenergy. In the end, I learned more psyenergy- but I also turned into a weapon of war. It showed. Mail was peeking through the clothes I wore over it, from the gauntlets on my hands to the sword sheath that was on my back.
I couldn't handle it anymore. My body was shivering in anger, and yearning. I longed for someone to comfort me, tell me everything was all right. No- not just someone. I wanted Garet, my best friend, to comfort me, and I just wanted to tell everything to him. I took the wine glass, shuddering, and hurled it against the wall, the last bits of wine that didn't leave the cup plastered on the dark grey walls. Glass fell everywhere, but I didn't bother to pick it up. For once in my life, I felt alone. I simply stared at the fragmented glass. Hot tears fell down my face. It wasn't dignified for a leader to cry, but I didn't care anymore. I just wanted things so badly that it hurt. How could I abandon the quest of the world for my own interests?
However, that was how I felt, and nothing could change it.
A heavy thump of footsteps climbed up the stairway. I glanced at the newcomer, to find it was who I yearned for so much… Garet, standing there, looking at me in his own caring way. No wonder I loved him so much- as a friend, but also in that heart-wrenching way.
"Well." Garet commented grinning, staring at the glass shards by the wall, and my tear-stained face. "Waste of a perfectly good wineglass, I must say. I don't even want to know what you did with the wine." I attempted to smile. "Do remember, that this is an inn, and the innkeeper is so not going to be happy with this." The Mars Adept waited for one of my pert replies, but I said nothing. He came over, still grinning until he saw my face completely. "God, what have you been doing?" He asked.
I shook my head, not wanting to talk. "Look at me." Garet commanded slowly, placing a sturdy arm around my shoulders. His touch sent a sensation through me. I turned my head, staring at the redhead, and I was pretty sure my glance gave him all the information he wanted to know. "It's not right, Isaac." Garet murmured, wiping away one of my tears. "But- I don't really… I don't really care."
Standing up with his arms still around me, I led him to the bed where I sat down. "I'm afraid, Garet. I'm afraid."
Garet sighed, acting oddly. He actually sounded serious for once. "I am too, Isaac. I am too. At least we can be scared together." I smiled, and returned to look at the flames, and the sword that was dropped right next to the fireplace gave off the dance of the embers. I was the metal, ground from earth, and he was the flame. Perhaps that was to be our dance, too.
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Well, that got me into a moody mood. But I just wanted to write that. I must admit that it wasn't too original, but oh well. Please review! Flames accepted. Flames will be used to roast marshmallows and warm me up. Thanks for reading!
~Mayara